Original subtitles

Um, Amanda... Darling?

..I was sitting on my hotel balcony...

Yes. ..and I saw you...

ALAN LAUGHS

..putting cat biscuits

all over the front porch of the hotel. Oh, my God, Alan.

No-one's supposed to know that.

Yes, but it looks weird in the doorway

cos people are turning up going,

"Oh, look, here's our hotel!" Scrunch, scrunch, scrunch.

Meow! Cos that's where they all hang out!

You are looking like a crazy cat lady.

Cucurucucu Paloma by Nana Mouskouri

On the beautiful Greek island of Corfu...

Oh, that sea is so gorgeous. That view is just unreal.

..instead of resting on our laurels,

Alan and I are taking on a Herculean task.

Whoa!

This year, we're spending the summer transforming

a traditional Corfiot house...

You're going to have to put your arms around me!

..into a family holiday home.

With the living room and dining room under our belt...

..we're now bringing the Midas touch

to our first-ever children's bedroom.

AMANDA SIGHS

That's just lovely straight away, isn't it?

Oh, another gorgeous view.

I think this should be inspired by the Durrells.

Love that. Yeah. So, nature? Nature.

And, you know, greens. This is...

We're going to think children in here. Yeah.

I want it to be like you're out there, in the forests,

when you come in here.

We've never done a children's bedroom before,

so that's exciting.

The main hurdle for that is getting the tone just right,

because I want a Gerald Durrell kind of feel.

I want to bring in the different animals,

the flora and fauna from the island.

You know? I want it to be quite immersive.

We need to think about the best way to utilise the space.

And I've seen those things where you've got a bunk bed there

and then, like, another bed there.

Oh! And that's great for storage as well underneath.

When I was a kid, I had the best bed

cos I was in a tiny box room, but my mum sold it to me

because she bought me one of those beds

that had a wardrobe and a desk underneath it and a ladder,

and that's what I'm going to do in there.

And also have something under... People neglect that.

Because if you've ever been in bunk beds, you're looking up,

all you see is this saggy bit.

Like some fabric? Yes! Ooh, I love that.

With a nod to nature. Yes.

I don't know what to do on that wall, though.

What about some murals and stuff?

You can do something subtle, but not, like, paint a scene.

No, no. OK.

Gerald Durrell loved the little animals,

so I may be putting Melvin the mosquito or something,

or, like, you know, Beryl the black widow spider.

And I think kids of all ages will enjoy it.

What did you have in your bedroom when you were little?

Well, my mum drew a Dennis the Menace.

She didn't! Can she draw?

No. Ha!

So she drew a Dennis the Menace and Gnasher.

No! And we laugh about it

because we just could not paint over it.

In certain lights, I can still see Dennis the Menace.

I wonder about, like, a floral situation.

Maybe let's say butterfly. Butterfly.

I think that's a really nice idea. Yeah.

Ooh!

Before we can crack on with the interiors...

..our builder, Stamatis, is helping us with ripping out the old ceiling.

What about if there's scorpions and stuff in this room?

Snakes are more... Snakes in the roof?!

Isn't that a film?

They're on a plane, not in the roof. Oh.

Oh, my God!

Are there any snakes?

No. It looks safe so you can... OK. ..try.

But be careful cos they're quite tight,

this overall is.

I don't like the early bits.

It just seems a shame to get these lovely white jumpsuits

just dirty again.

Oh, my God.

Oh! Disgusting!

It's absolutely massive up here. That is going to be epic.

Mi Mou Thimonis Matia Mou by George Dalaras

To truly immerse ourselves in the world of Gerald Durrell,

we've been lucky enough to be invited

to one of his favourite places on the island.

I'm so excited. You know when you just can't believe

you're actually going to meet somebody

that's really attached to the family?

Well, the Durrells are Corfu, really. Well, they are.

They put it on the map. 100%.

Hi! Hello! Hi. How are you?

And we're being taken there by his widow, Lee.

Shall we go to Mouse Island?

Gerald's book, My Family And Other Animals,

enchanted children around the world and helped put Corfu on the map.

And a place where he and his siblings, Larry, Margo and Leslie,

spent a lot of their childhood was Mouse Island.

Every day, Gerry and Margo used to swim out,

and it was just one of their favourite places

in the whole world.

Thank you so much.

The first thing I want to show you is where...

I don't know if you remember in the book.

..Margo would come over for sunbathing,

and I know the very rock where she used to sunbathe.

Oh, my gosh!

Have a go. I think I need to drape myself, yes.

That's exactly...

Oh! Is that how Margo would have laid, maybe?

Probably, probably.

PEACOCK CAWS

And this is where, over those rocks,

I clambered up some years ago and scattered Gerry's ashes.

Oh! Aw.

Wow. So, this is where he is.

Where he always wanted to be... Yeah, exactly. ..really.

While he died at the age of 70,

Corfu is currently celebrating the centenary of Gerald's birth.

A little church at the top here,

that was where the monk was when Gerry was here in the '30s.

Oh, Alan, isn't it lovely? Oh, look!

Oh, my gosh! It's so cute! It's teeny.

With over 200 species of birds, small mammals,

reptiles and amphibians, Gerald fell in love with the island's wildlife.

Was there any animal Gerald didn't take to?

No, no. Every animal.

But he especially took to the animals that were neglected

by other zoos and conservation areas.

He went for the sort of small and obscure... Yeah.

..which he called the "little brown jobs".

Oh, yeah, little brown jobs!

Like the unloved? Like the unloved. Yeah.

You know, he believed that every animal had a right to exist,

and who were we to extinguish it or exterminate it? Yeah, yeah.

So this must have been like heaven, coming here.

Oh, it was, it was. He often said coming to Corfu was exactly...

Oh, my gosh. ..exactly like that for him. Yeah.

We're doing a room for sort of younger members of the family. Yeah.

So we were thinking butterflies and florals and insects.

To sort of capture, you know, Gerald's imagination, his vision.

Yeah. You know? Yeah.

It'd be fantastic. Some of the smaller animals.

I'd try and imagine, like, if he was born now,

what kind of bedroom would he have? Yes! It should be like that.

While the builders expose the original stone walls of the house...

..Scott and I have come to Agios Georgios,

to the workshop of Stamatis's carpenter, Dimitri...

Hello, hello. Hi, Amanda.

..to create our custom-made bunk bed.

I had this idea to make bunk beds in an L shape,

so we could use up all the space underneath it.

So we're making, at the minute, just this top piece here.

So this is this bit that we're making.

Then we're going to sandwich it with two sheets of MDF.

This is going to be, like, the skeleton on the inside.

Actually, the strength comes from the shape,

not the thickness of the wood.

While Amanda works on the bunk bed...

Perfect.

..I'm working on a different passion project of ours.

Hello!

Inspired by Gerald Durrell, over the summer,

Amanda and I are volunteering at Corfu Donkey Rescue...

Mr Mattis! Oh, hello, Alan.

..set up to give old working animals a dignified retirement.

We have to collect some poo. Poo? Poo, yes. OK.

DONKEYS BRAY

Oh, it's going to be one of those days. OK.

Let's go.

Oh, that's fine.

Like this, yes? Yes, yes. Is that good? Good, good. Happy? Yes.

I was expecting to be walking around with a basket full of carrots.

I just didn't expect this.

But it is quite therapeutic, really.

Doing what I do best -

picking up poo.

I'm quite quick, ain't I?

Yes, actually, you are a very good worker. Oh! Yes.

Right. Where's the next pile of poo? Over there.

There's something I never expected to hear myself say today!

FLIES BUZZ

Me and my sister, if we went anywhere,

like, bunk beds were, like, a novelty.

But we'd probably beat each other up to get to the top bunk.

And we sort of still have that hierarchy

over going front in the car. Still today, now? Still today.

Once we've applied glue to the framework...

Right, let's get this big piece up.

..it's sandwiched between two MDF panels for extra strength...

..and nailed into place.

Shall I test it?

Oh, do you know what? I'll have a little siesta.

Up.

Oh, very good. This isn't my first hoof.

Look at that. You could eat your dinner off that.

Oh, beautiful.

I find when I'm with animals, I feel quite peaceful and... Yeah.

Yes, this, 100%. I agree with you. Yeah.

It works just like a kind of therapy...

Yes! ..for my soul.

Yeah, I get that, I get it.

It's such a special place, isn't it? Yes. It's lovely.

Back at the house,

the builders have been plastering the walls,

ready for our bespoke bunk bed to be installed.

So we're off to site to get in on the action.

I had a weird experience. I needed a new razor, yeah?

And when I got it home, it had "intima" on the box.

The razor is for manscaping.

And I felt a bit icky about using it on my face.

Yeah, but it's not been on anyone's manscape. Oh, no. No, no.

It weren't a second-hand one!

Things ain't that bad.

As the new bunk bed will appear

to float unsupported against the wall...

..we've called in the cavalry to fit it safely and securely.

Oh, wow. Have a cracker. Please, have one!

No, no, no. Please. Delicious!

So Amanda and I are on snack duty.

Delicious cracker?

For safety, the bed platform needs to be fitted by the experts

by drilling support battens into the wall.

I was in a motorhome once and I was on the top bunk

and I fell off onto the table.

No, you didn't?! And I did a plank...

..like that. Was that the first and last time you planked?

With the platform secure,

next to go up is the base of the bed itself.

What's Greek for heavy? It's really heavy.

HE SPEAKS IN GREEK, ALAN COPIES

OK, we're going up high this side. Oh! Watch it.

Watch your fingers. Got it.

Right, let me get up there. Do you feel safe up there?

If you were a child... I mean, if I was a kid, I would love it.

I mean, it's massive.

It's like a sofa. Just give me the screw.

Once in position, Amanda and I secure it into place.

I make a hole with this. See?

Stop! There you go. That's perfect.

Made the little hole. Thank you.

How many people does it take to make a bed?!

I hope these kids appreciate the effort we're going to here.

That was perfect.

Now that the bespoke bunk bed is taking shape...

..we're swapping our boiler suits for swimsuits.

You've seen those...

Thigh-high summer, boys are having a thigh-high summer?

Have you seen Harry Styles? No.

He's got the shorts on that go quite high up.

Oh, but he can carry it, can't he? What are you saying?

No. Like all the old footballers... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

..back in the day and it goes right up and you can see everything.

To relive some childhood memories...

Are you ready to get wet and wild? AMANDA LAUGHS

..I'm taking Amanda to Aqualand - one of Europe's biggest water parks.

Why shouldn't I be on trend?

Come on, Alan!

Yeah, ready to go.

I feel very European.

So let's go.

AMANDA CACKLES

It's not about the Speedo any more. It's about the thigh-guy summer.

Put your towel here. Yeah. There's children present.

Come on.

Maybe start easy. Shall we go on this tame one?

And then we'll work our way down till we get to the Black Hole.

Finish on the Black Hole? Are you sure about this? Yeah.

When you're up here, it is quite scary, innit?

No!

This is not a nerve-racking ride.

Oh!

Whaa!

If that's the easy one, I hate to see the Black Hole. Ha!

Oh!

AMANDA LAUGHS

Three, two, one. Go!

THEY SHRIEK

Oh, my God, why have I stopped?!

I couldn't believe it.

She was there in the corner of my eye and then she just stopped.

Oh. So cross! I think we should go and do the Catapult.

OK. Whenever you're ready.

SQUEAKING That wasn't me! That was the...

Whoo! Oh, no!

Argh!

It's the Black Hole, Alan. How black is it?

It's pitch-black. You won't see anything.

Oh, no, that sounds awful.

After three scary rides, we've saved the biggest for last.

Argh! I've heard her screaming. "Argh!"

Argh! Whaa!

She's got a good voice. You should hear her laugh.

Ah...

Pray for me.

It's not... Is that all right? Yep.

Oh, God!

ALAN YELPS

Oh, I can hear him. I can hear him.

HE LAUGHS

Oh!

The Blue Danube by Strauss

I tipped up! No way! I tipped up!

Tipped me out. Oh, my God.

This little face. I know! You look like ET on the bike.

Oh, thank you for that. Come and have a sit down.

That's the last one now. Yeah. That is. Well done.

I'm not going on any more. It flipped me off! I hit my face on the thing.

CICADAS CHIRP

Today, as my lovely mum is here on holiday,

I've roped her in to help me work on the bunk bed.

There's going to be another bed here,

so somebody's going to be sleeping here.

Oh, that's lovely.

I just don't want them to be looking at anything horrible underneath.

To soften the underside of the top bunk...

Right. Mum, I'm going to start this end.

You're going to start that end. OK.

..we're making an upholstered panel.

We are not particularly crafty people,

but we're going to make it all look a little bit more aesthetic.

The first job is to secure the foam padding.

Can I have a go? Yes!

Put it there. That's too close to the edge.

No, there. Oh, honestly. Like, there.

No, cos... Like that, Mum.

I know. Cos otherwise... I know. ..it will just pull.

But you were pushing my fingers out of the way, so I couldn't do it.

There.

You are a bit cack-handed sometimes.

Well, you do it. No, you do it.

You think I'm bossy, but I think you're quite bossy.

If I am, then you've got it from me, unfortunately.

We're a matriarchal family.

We're in charge of the boys, aren't we, Amanda? Yes.

Without a doubt.

You say I wear everyone down...

Yes, you do a little bit, I'm afraid. ..till I get what I want.

Yeah. You are bossier than I am, actually.

Whilst Amanda and Judy get creative with a staple gun...

..as we have decided on painting a mural on the bedroom wall...

Sophie! Hi.

What a lovely spot!

..I'm meeting mural painter Sophie

to see if we can find a design to pay homage to Gerald Durrell

and his love of the island's small creatures.

We want it to sort of celebrate the Durrells,

some of the animals... OK. ..definitely insects.

Sounds lovely.

We could have a bit of fun with the insects, then.

We could have a sneaky one up a doorpost

or along the bottom of the wall. Yeah, so it's fun and playful.

Mm-hm. This sort of style. Quite light.

This was in a taverna. Lovely.

This looks interesting. Well... What's this for?

..this is a very quick idea.

The Cleopatra butterfly is famous in Corfu. Oh, right.

I was thinking about perhaps having

some sort of olive branches trailing down.

Oh, my God, you're so good. Look at these! Well, I'm not sure.

Do you know what? This is just absolutely perfect.

Cos they're playful... WIND GUSTS

Oh! Oh, no!

One second. I'll grab your lemons.

Oh, my hero.

So lovely taking the time to talk to me during a hurricane.

So perhaps I can go and work on something,

read the Durrells, perhaps, for a start. That's a great idea.

Pull it down that way.

With the padding in place,

it's time for my gorgeous flora-inspired fabric.

Je Suis Grecque by Melina Mercouri

Oh, no, that's no good. Look. It's lumpy. I mean,

I think proper upholsterers make a triangle, like an apple turnover.

I don't know what this is! A bit of a bodge job, this is.

Quickly. Turn it over. Quick!

Ta-da! Ta-da!

Up at the house, now the new walls have been plastered...

Sophie!

..our Gerald Durrell-inspired mural is under way.

This is beautiful.

The idea, as you said, was to bring some of the nature inside.

So we've got an olive branch

and the yellow butterfly, the Cleopatra. Yes.

And then the red dragonflies in Corfu, they're amazing.

Perfect for this room, isn't it?

I try and paint murals to look quite old. Yeah?

All I do is paint the line

and when I rub a little off,

it looks like it's been there for years. A bit of character.

And I don't want perfect, Alan. You've come to the right people!

It's going to be fun.

Sophie uses wet wipes to help create her faded effect.

They're also useful for erasing any mistakes.

Is that good? Don't wipe it like... No!

OK. Yours is running a bit, Alan.

Oh, God. You might need... Just like that?

Um... Oh, no.

Would you like me to go up the ladder and fix it quickly?

Would you do that to Picasso?

Perhaps that one could just go whoop. Whoop!

Give me a wet wipe.

Do you know, art is about making mistakes.

Not every five minutes.

I'm ready to move on. Let's move on to an insect.

So I just did a little head and then the circular body.

Let me do a butterfly.

Oh, Amanda. That's lovely!

That looks like a pair of breasts. AMANDA AND ALAN GIGGLE

Alan. Yes? Back to the brush. What colour's this? Red?

Yep. Oh, God. Just go for it.

In Corfu, the striking red dragonfly is critically endangered

and appears for a few short weeks each spring,

making it a rare and cherished sight.

Oh!

I wasn't even doing it for a joke! I think it's nice.

Baby, crawling in here, looks at that.

Starts screaming. They'll scream.

THEY LAUGH

Is that OK?

The more I paint, the better I get, I think.

Sophie, would you like a nice cup of tea? Love a nice cup of tea.

Right.

What are we going to do about Alan's art?

And his dragonfly's wearing high-heeled boots.

OK, we'll fix it while he's having his cup of tea.

What do you think? Just paint it white, that bit of wall.

As part of my summer in Corfu,

I have been searching for my very own Greek god.

Well, tonight, I have a hot date, so I need to get glammed up.

I hate shaving foam. It gets everywhere.

Oh, God.

Oh, no!

Oh, no. Cut myself.

Oh, that's quite bad.

Oh, sugar.

Now I've got tissue stuck to it.

Oh, it's the last thing I need.

Stamatis has set me up on a blind date with someone he knows

at a bar at nearby Agni Bay,

and I've booked myself a water taxi to get me there.

I'm a little bit nervous. I haven't been on a date for ages.

Are you joking? Where's he going?

But I'm going to be late for my date!

Things are looking up.

Hi, love.

Luckily for me, another taxi comes to my rescue.

Lovely.

Thank you for doing this.

Well, we've had a bit of luck.

It's a nicer boat and an easier-on-the-eye driver.

Agni Bay is one of Corfu's best-kept secrets -

a tranquil cove of exclusive hotels and millionaire yachts.

Thank you so much.

It's the perfect spot for a romantic rendezvous.

Hello. How are you? Hello. Sorry I'm late.

Mwah! Mwah!

The water taxi drove off without me.

ALAN LAUGHS I'm Alan. Hi, Alan.

What's your name? I'm Ivor. What? Ivor. Ivor? Yes.

Not evil? Not yet.

Yeah. Can I have a large vodka and tonic, please? Of course.

Thank you. So tell me everything.

What are you doing in Corfu?

I spend the summer here. OK. Nice.

I'm so nervous. Are you? Me too.

I need to catch up. Yes, babe.

So what do you look for in a man? It's just, like, vibe.

I never have a type. Just, you know, the click.

If you have a click... Yeah, yeah. ..and a vibe. OK.

You go for the vibe. OK. When you just have fun together

and you complement each other, that's what I kind of want.

Cheers for that, babe. Yeah. Cheers.

So, Alan, what do you like to do? Like, what's your hobbies?

I've got two rescue dogs. Yes? Yes. I also rescue dogs.

You rescue dogs? That's amazing! I have three.

Oh, that's lovely. I love that. I love anyone who loves animals.

We have much in common, babe. We have so much in common. 100%.

It was nice for me to actually just get out there

and get back on the horse, as it were.

He's really sweet, but not my type,

and I don't think I'm his type, to be honest.

Back in Kokkini, it's all systems go to complete the children's bedroom.

Sophie's adding the finishing touches to our mural,

the electricians are busy installing lights,

and the bunk bed is getting a lick of paint,

ready for us to do what we do best.

Me and my mum made this, Alan. Really?

Yeah. Shove it in like this and then we'll nail it on.

Oh, look. Is it a real lizard?

AMANDA GASPS Look at that. Come on, baby.

Do you think he made himself pink and green

so he matched the panelling?

It's a bit like Jumanji, innit?

They've come alive from the mural. AMANDA LAUGHS

That's great, that. Okey dokey. Let me give them a quick wipe, love.

ALAN COUGHS Oh, dear!

All the dust's going up my nose.

Coming in! Where would you put it? Here?

That's it. Yeah? Perfect.

I think we've pulled it off, Alan. Our first children's bedroom.

Yeah. We have. We've done a really good job.

I think we've been really clever with the space. Yeah.

And not having, like, two single beds

means you have all that floor to, like, do a bit of colouring

or play a game or whatever... Yeah.

..but it's that L shape - that was a clever idea. I know!

And also we've got storage.

Yes. The panelling is gorgeous. I know.

And it's, like, a little nod to the Durrells as well.

Because you know with murals? Normally, they can be quite twee.

But this is nice and this is all the things

that Durrell used to love, like the butterflies and the insects.

We haven't gone for, like, patronising cuddly little things.

Yeah. We've gone for things you genuinely see in Corfu.

Everything he loved.

This is quite a good, grown-up kid's bedroom.

Really nice. Do you know what?

I can imagine me just having a little siesta in here.

Oh, yeah. I could see me crawling in here,

getting in there, counting the butterflies...

Till you fall asleep. ..fall asleep.

Right. You can test it. OK.

My God, your feet stink. They do stink. But it's the espadrilles.

Oh, don't even joke. You doing all right?

Just move around like you're asleep.

ALAN SNORES

I've got to work with Amanda again.

AMANDA LAUGHS

Next time...

Argh!

..we go sightseeing...

Bend down, quickly.

Alan! Argh!

..I show Stamatis who's boss...

Oh! No, no, no.

No, what are you doing?!

It's heavy. Stop it! I'm a woman!

..and I feel the wrath of the Greek grandmothers...

THEY EXCLAIM

Stop shouting!

..as we take on the kitchen.

Oh, my gosh! Alan!