Original subtitles

Doesn't she look amazing? You look fabulous!

Are you scared of spiders? No!

-Cheers! -Up your bum.

Great. You all right, Mum? Mm-hm.

Oh, OK, you're just touching my hair, yeah?

Just relax.

Just let me know when you're going to...

BUZZING Argh! Oh, my God!

Stop squirming, Mum. Yeah, I am trying, Sam.

I need something to bite down on, Amy.

I already gave you one of my breadsticks. Yeah, and I ate it.

I need a proper stick from a tree.

Yeah, well, I haven't got a box of those, weirdly.

OK. I... OK.

Let's go. Let's go.

BUZZING

Oh, God, no, I feel... You must stop moving.

Otherwise, we will run out of time. Yeah.

I'm sorry, Katya, but please don't rush me.

I nearly passed out last time.

Really?

OK, sorry.

Let's do it.

OK.

OK. It's cool. Yeah?

OK, let's do it.

BUZZING Oh, God!

Right. I can't. Help me hold her down. Sam. I've got the camera.

I can't do it. Well, put it down.

Oh, God! God!

Mum, you can. RACHEL WHIMPERS

You have to. You can't leave your tattoo looking like that.

I can't do it.

Come on, Mum.

We're going to be late for Dad's police thing.

BUZZING, RACHEL SCREECHES

What HAVE you done?

Oh, no!

What?! I love it.

Oh, please tell me you can rub it off.

But I don't want to rub it off.

Amy... You do know it's not even in English!

Um, yes, of course I do.

It's Elvish, right, Amy?

No, it's...it's "Maya" in Sanskrit.

It means magic.

Well... Amy,

all tattoos mean the same thing.

What? What's that, then?

Impressionable.

I think it's dope.

Dope? Dope!

Really? Yeah. Why not?

I don't mind a tat, if it's romantic and you're not covered in the things

like a bloody...drummer.

Oh, that's romantic, is it?

Scratching someone's name on your body so everyone knows

who you belong to? All right,

I won't expect you to get one for me. But that's...

We're not the tattoo generation. Mm-hm.

And I'm the type of person who hates needles.

That's every type of person, Mum.

Yeah, but I medically hate them.

The school caretaker had to pin me to the floor

when I had my BCG.

OK, well, I hope he was fired.

He was. He was fired.

Anyone want five Hobnobs before I go?

Are we doing this test or not?

Yes. Because I could be practising my marching right now.

Yes, I'll have five Hobnobs, thanks, Mum!

Yes, Amy, can you take your tattoo elsewhere, please?

Sam and I are actually revising.

Sam's filming.

Well... Yeah, filming my revision, so it counts.

OK, right. When was the first official diagnosis of autism?

Yeah, I won't need that.

As in, you don't know it? As in, ask me practical stuff.

IMITATES WRONG-ANSWER BUZZER Uh-uhhh! 1943.

Not "uh-uhhh"! I just didn't give an answer.

Uh-uhhh!

What are the main symptoms of ADHD?

Attention deficit hypera...

Yes, I know what it means.

God, you're annoying. All right!

Difficulty concentrating,

inability to sit still,

acting without thought. I mean, that's basically me.

Sh, Sam. What else is there?

Yeah, interrupting conversations. That's another one.

Oh, my God. You see? Yeah, that would explain

why you're quite so bad at sitting still.

Yeah, it would, actually.

Well, of course Sam can concentrate.

He's always making bloody films. No, but that's...

That's another symptom. That's hyperfocus.

Look. Yep.

"People with ADHD may experience an intense fixation on one activity

"for an extended period of time."

We should get you assessed.

Oh, he's fine!

He's just lazy and distractible. That's a symptom of being

a living man.

But if he's got ADHD.... DOORBELL

..he'll get extra time on his exams and a free laptop.

Yeah, you should probably be tested. Yeah, yeah.

What kind of laptop is it?

Well, I'm pleased you're focused on the right things.

Doorbell!

Yeah, I know, Rachel, I'll get it.

Oh, Robin! Cheryl!

Hi! Hi, Sue!

You all right? Yes,

well, the THREE of us are very all right, thank you.

THEY GIGGLE

Would you like a Hobnob?

Mm, all three of us would not like a Hobnob, thanks.

I would, actually. Sorry, one of us would, but the other two would not,

as in there are three in total. You OK, Robin?

Yes, the THREE of us are more than OK, thanks.

What?

I think... We are...

I think Cherry's pregnant. Sam! You've ruined it!

RACHEL AND SUE SQUEAL Oh, my God, why would you...?! I'm sorry. He's ruined it! I'm sorry.

That wasn't on you, Sam. Oh, my God! Oh, Cherry! Cherry! Cherry!

I've got a photo.

I didn't know you had it in you.

Do you know what? Cherry didn't know she had it in her

till about three weeks ago. Oh! Paul! Amy!

Yeah. Cherry's having a baby! EXCITED CHATTER

With Robin!

We've done it!

Oh, my God! He's cracked it.

Yeah! Oh, my God!

Oh, look at that!

Awww! Look! Yeah.

You can't see a lot, but it's definitely got a hot face.

Oh, hundy P. I mean, that profile.

Phwoar!

Well, don't "phwoar" your own baby.

Well, I'm sorry, but come to me with that pout

and you are getting phwoared.

I don't care whose baby you are.

Let me see. Wow. Do you know what you're having?

No, they can't tell yet cos it's only about the size

of a Coco Pop.

I'm actually hoping for a girl.

He's so modern. Do you know,

I thought your sperms, Robin, were a dog's dinner.

Oh, Mum, please!

No, it's all right, it's all right - they are a bit.

But I guess one of the weird little goons must have managed

to ram his ugly mug into Cherry's egg.

"Let me in!"

Don't mime - it's embarrassing. Sorry.

So hang on, it's a shotgun wedding! Yeah!

Like ours!

I should get a shotgun for the best man's speech.

Oh, my God! Rachel, that would be hilaire!

Well, no.

What do you mean, like ours?

Well, I was pregnant with Amy.

That's why WE got married. No, it's not!

We were allowed to have children out of wedlock, Rachel.

It was Bedford in the early noughties,

not rural Ireland in the 1400s.

Yeah, but our...our dad's quite traditional, so... Yeah.

Wow.

And there was me thinking that we got married because you love me.

I did. Did?!

Do. Do. Still do, did.

What? Did. Oh, my God, Mum, stop. Oh, God.

Just forget it. Wow.

I got that tattoo. Look, Robin. Oh, sweet!

That is world classy.

So you knew about this, did you? Yeah, of course.

I sent her to Katya, who did all of my cherries. Look.

Oh. Nice, isn't it?

Oh, that's like ringworm.

Yeah, it... What?

Yeah, well...

It does a bit, yeah. ..I'm off to choir practice.

Aww, well done again, you two.

Thanks, Sue. Cheers, yeah.

Oh, can't wait to have a cuddle with the wee one.

Oh, when it's out and about,

I will be dumping it here a lot.

Yeah, well, I won't be around then, though.

What?

Oh, no, Sue, don't be like that.

You've got a good year or two left in you yet, I reckon.

No, I mean, I will have moved out.

Oh. Yeah. I've made an offer on a flat.

Oh, great! Oh, congrats! That's exciting.

No? Yeah. No?

Um, right, your Hobnobs are on the corner there, Paul.

Yeah, thanks, Mum. I'm eating them now.

Yeah. Bye.

Bye, Sue. Also, FYI, I should say

we've had to shunt the date of the wedding.

Oh, have you?

Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. It's now on this Saturday

because that's the only day

that worked for 50 Shades Of Mellow.

Oh? What's that? The wedding band we wanted.

We've gone big budge on the cake,

the band and the video,

and then everything else will be like, not...

Shit. NOT shit. No. But, well, cheap.

Cheaper. Yeah.

And 50 Shades are sensationnelle.

Yeah. Sensational. They can do everything, can't they?

Beyonce. Beyonce. Coldplay, Buble...

Hang on, Saturday the 15th? That's my passing out parade.

Oh... Ed Sheeran,

Chumbawamba, Kravitz.

What's that, like a medical thing? Travis.

No, I'm saying it's... it's like the police.

The Police? Yeah, they can do them, no problem.

Or Sting on his own. Fields Of Gold - yes, please.

It's like a graduation, but they say passing out.

Tinie Tempah! Yeah, no problem.

They used to do Michael Jackson, but they don't do him any more.

Yeah. That's at midday.

The wedding's not until four, so you'll have bags of time.

Oh, OK! Yeah. I mean, I might not pass out at all,

if they can't find a uniform in time.

Oh, no. Oh, yeah? What's the problem?

Your "Humpty Dumpty, big waist, short legs" thing?

Uh, can you stop comparing me to Humpty Dumpty, please, Amy?!

Rude! That IS rude, yeah.

And actually, this is about the helmet.

All of their helmets are too small.

What, all of them? Yeah, all of them.

I have an unusually big head.

Like Humpty Dumpty.

Well, he's ALL head, really, isn't he?

Yeah. Well, he's an egg, yeah.

I mean, apparently Greater Manchester Police have got a very,

very big one they can send down. That's if they can find it.

OK. How big IS your head, then?

I mean, you're looking at it.

Come on, then, let's measure it. No!

No! You're not measuring his head! You're not measuring my bloody head!

Here they come! Where is he?

Oh, my God, I can see him! I can see him!

Look at him!

Oh, my God.

Look at that hat!

It's sort of wedged on.

He can't even march properly!

He looks like a Thunderbird!

Stop laughing, it's not funny!

You're laughing, too!

I'm not, I'm...

Granny's here.

Hurry up, you're missing...

..whatever this is.

The marching. THEY CHUCKLE

Sorry, I got held up at choir.

You're a bit overdressed for this.

Yeah, well, I thought I'd get me wedding togs on now, you know,

save going back later.

Here he comes! Oh, God.

Oh, doesn't Paul look all sexy in that uniform?!

No.

Well, he would maybe if he didn't look so pained.

Or knew how to march.

AMY CHUCKLES

Oh, it's so lovely to see you all.

Oh, Amy. Aww.

I've missed you.

Oh, we saw you last weekend, Granny.

I know, but I feel so cut off in that flat,

you know, with no-one to chat to.

Aww. I keep finding myself talking

to the woman in the lift.

What? Why is there a woman in the lift?

As in, the one that tells you what floor you're on.

The computer. Oh, Sue, you shouldn't be talking to the computer.

Well, I'm not mad. I only say please and thank you.

And she's got such a lovely, cheery manner.

You know, "Doors opening!"

Stand at ease!

Welcome, cadets, family and friends

to Bedford Constabulary Training Centre.

Today marks the end of these cadets' training,

and so we move to the beginning of their careers

as new police officers. GROANING

Over the course of their training, they have made me proud.

What's he...? What's that?

Er, I think it's Dad.

..and upholding our shared values. Is he OK?

Yeah, I reckon he's... THUDDING

AMY GASPS Oh, my God! Oh, Paul!

Dad! Paul!

Oh, God! Dad, are you OK? Paul!

My son! My son's fallen over!

FLATULENCE

It's just that stupid helmet.

That was the issue.

I marched well, I thought.

It was just too tight.

You know, it was constricting blood flow,

and that's why I fainted.

I don't think people noticed.

No, they probably just thought it was part

of the passing out ceremony. Oh, ha-ha. Very funny.

Let me tell you something, there is nothing funny

about a tight helmet, Amy, OK? SAM SCOFFS

Maybe you should make your own.

You know, out of papier-mache?

Oh, good idea, Mum.

Yeah. That will strike fear into the heart

of the criminal community, wouldn't it,

being chased down by a policeman with a home-made helmet!

All right?

How you doing, pal? You pass out OK?

Oh, yeah. More than OK.

He fainted. Oh, thank you, Rachel.

I realised I embarrassed you.

There's no need to rub it in.

So, what...? What happens now?

Do you have to, like, do it again? Like Rachel's exam?

What? What do you mean?

No, I did still graduate.

I just had to, you know, lie down.

Right. But I missed the bit where they throw

their hat in the air at the end.

Yeah, if they did that at the beginning,

this would never have happened.

Well, yeah.

So, how are you feeling? You ready?

I feel like I'm going to chunder my guts up,

but apart from that... Aw! I felt like that on our wedding day.

Did you? That was just morning sickness.

Which is one of the reasons you married me, apparently.

My God, can you please stop being so pathetic?

OK, Rach, they're ready. So, have you got the rings?

Yes, I've got them on my necklace so I don't lose them.

OK, she's coming. So, Stanley, stop picking your nose.

OK, up! Everyone, up! Up!

I used to be able to walk to choir practice from here.

I'll have to drive from the new flat.

And pay for parking through an app.

Mm. Oh, God, Amy.

I don't think I can handle the apps.

Oh, it'll be fine, Granny.

And you can always move back in here if you don't like it.

Right, Dad? Huh?

Yeah, in theory, I guess.

Is this...?

No, that's one of Maya's.

Oh, well, can we have two clear piles of bags coming in

and bags coming out, please?

Sue's are pink and leather, mine are black and binny.

Yeah, sure.

Ooh!

Are you having my old room, Maya?

Er, well, we want to be in the same room, really.

So we'll both be in Amy's.

It'll be a bit of a squeeze, but still...

Yeah, and I'm going to use your old room as a music studio.

Er, no, no. You're not dumping your harp in there, Amy.

It's not dumping it. I'm playing it.

And I want to put my keyboard in there as well.

Well, tough turds, princess. You can't.

I'm putting the rowing machine in there.

What? Yeah. No, come on. That's not fair.

This is what happens when you keep calling people Humpty Dumpty, Amy.

They start to exercise.

Sorry, Sam. He won't use it.

Come on, mate.

I mean, it's hardly Katya's fault! Yeah. Mm.

Yeah. She did exactly what you asked for.

Also, English isn't her first language,

so what did you expect? What's...? I like it.

Do you? Well, no. No.

I like the story behind it more than the actual it.

What's happened? So Rach got a tattoo for Paolo.

Oh, my God, really? What is it?

Show him. Go on. Yeah, well...

You know how I hate needles?

Well, I know how everyone does.

Yeah, but mainly me. OK.

So I wanted to get a small Paul on my shoulder blade to just...

Shut him up. No, to be romantic.

Yeah. Well, both.

And then, when I got there and saw the actual kit,

I sort of panicked a bit,

so I thought it might just be better to get his initials.

You know, like, PJ. Paul Jessop.

Cos it's, you know, half the letters.

And then I thought... And the tattoo woman was... Katya.

..really getting impatient at this point.

I thought I might just get the P first

to see if I could handle that. So...

Yeah. ..she...

I asked for a P on my shoulder, and she...

Well... Oh, God, she did this.

Oh, OK! LAUGHTER

I'll have a P, please, Bob. Yeah. Oh, that's very good.

Love it. He's done that already, yeah.

Just go back to Katya, tell her to fix it.

Get, you know, the stalk put on. The stalk?

You mean, get the rest of the pea plant on? No.

What? No, I mean, get the rest of the P letter. Oh.

It is very confusing. It is. Not really.

I mean, I don't want to get any more tattooing, Robin.

I nearly passed out last time.

But you can't leave it like that, Rach!

It looks like you're growing mould.

Does it? Yeah! Oh, don't put me next to Stanley!

What? Why? Stan..?

No, that's lovely. All the kids are together, so...

And he's, what? He's your... He's your... Cousin.

..cousin, so be nice.

He's obsessed with lions, though. It's so boring.

Oh, well. Oh, Robin...

What?

You know he won't come.

He might.

He said he might.

And it's much harder for me to film if I'm at the back.

We don't need you to film, Sam.

Lights, Camera, Love are doing that already. That's taken care of.

Also, Cherry doesn't really want someone

with ADHD to film things. Oh, Robin!

No offence. She worries it might all look a bit fast and furious.

Nothing wrong with that. That's a cracking franchise.

PHONE RINGS Well, that... Oh, hello. Hello.

Sorry. Bet it's her.

It is her. It is her.

Love of my life, fire of my loins.

Er...

Yeah, we're just trying the cakes now, babe.

Yeah. Well, we are going crizzle cray

for the amaretto cream, put it that way.

It just means we're going crazy.

Er...

Well, no, I told Jelson he could be the MC there, babe.

Yeah, he's a drum and bass man from back in the day.

Yeah, he's proper. Yeah.

So you've got ADHD, Sam?

Yeah, looks like it. Yeah.

My uncle had, well, not exactly the same, but PTSD.

Yeah, it's not remotely the same, Dean.

Yeah, well, he's fine now.

So you can take comfort from that, innit?

Er... Yeah, well, you know, I'm giving Sam

some revision counselling, so it's all in hand.

Counselling?

You mean nagging?

Motivation.

And please do make an effort to film the posters, Sam,

since we put them up everywhere.

So Robin told me about your idea.

Absolutely love it. Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah? Thanks, Dean.

Which idea? The shotgun for your best man speech.

Genius.

Oh, no, no, no, no. That was just...

I was just joking.

I wouldn't actually get one.

I wouldn't know how.

Oh, that's where I come in.

Oh, no, no. Don't...

Yeah, no, don't get a shotgun, Dean.

Cherry would really hate that, I suspect.

I'm not promising anything. No, you don't have to.

Just don't do it. Yeah, probably can't anyway.

No, don't. Just don't.

Can you film the posters, please?

Yeah? Where there's a will.

Well, there isn't a will, Dean. Well, exactly.

ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS

Sam, out the way.

No, no, go away.

Sam.

You're amazing. Yeah, I know.

Please be seated. Ahem!

Not us.

We are gathered here today... Robin.

..to witness the union of this man...

Robin. ..and this woman...

Cherry. ..in holy matrimony.

Cherry Danielle,

you are my rock... Yeah.

..and my roll... Yeah.

..my lover and my teacher... Yes.

..my sugar and spice and all things nice,

my Peri-peri and my mayo.

I do solemnly declare that I will respect you and cherish you,

guard you,

wash you if you want me to... No.

..massage you, text you regularly,

never interrupt you,

be there, stay there,

live, laugh, love with you for as long as we both shall live,

forever and ever, amen.

CLAPPING No!

Sorry.

Robin Liam, you complete me.

I promise to be there for you,

to have your back,

to go deep,

to lift you up and keep you grounded,

for now and for always,

for all three of us.

Oh! Aw!

We're having a baby! Yeah.

Sit down, Sam.

If I could now ask for the rings? I've got them here.

Sorry. Sorry.

Well, don't step on it!

Sorry.

It's this clasp here.

Ah! Ooh, you all right?

Sorry. You OK? Shoulder's quite sore.

Just put them in a box or something. Are you sure you don't...? Oh!

It's OK. OK. Well done. Got them. There you are.

With this...

With this ring, I thee wed.

With this ring, I thee wed.

Hmm.

I now pronounce you man and wife.

Yes!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE You may kiss the bride.

Ha-ha-ha!

Oi, move!

Cheers, Paul.

Penny, Boyd. Drink?

Hello, Paul.

Did you get that email I...? Yeah.

Love a wedding!

Oh, Amy! Huh? Your dress hasn't been ironed, look!

Well, yeah, because you moved out, Granny.

Looks like you've been doing origami with it.

I mean, we have in a way.

I mean, we've hardly got any hanging space now there's two of us.

Everything's folded up in IKEA bags under the bed.

I've got wardrobes.

I've got wardrobes coming out of my absolute walls.

Give your clothes to me,

and I'll hang them up in my flat.

And then what? I come over every morning in my dressing gown

to find something to wear?

If you like. Sam. Good system.

Sam! What were the causes of the Vietnam War?

Oh, now? Yeah. Really? Mm.

Don't you have to prepare a speech or something?

Well, yeah, I've got a minute or two.

Is it true, by the way, what Robin said?

About you not passing your exam?

I, er, do have to retake it, yeah.

It's cos you spend so much time helping me!

Of course I'm going to prioritise you.

I'm your mum.

That's a deal. OK. Well, thanks.

So, come on, Vietnam War, let's go.

Er, communism?

Yes. Er, tunnels.

Mm-hm.

Trees.

Not trees.

You said you didn't want it! INDISTINCT SPEECH

There's actually only about 400 lions living in there,

so there's no king of the jungle.

Doesn't really make sense. Right.

I'll tell you another fact about lions. Cool.

Lions can climb trees, though,

even though they mainly live on grassland.

And as they're not as agile as other big cats...

I'm going to go to the loo.

Are you worried people won't think it's real?

Cos it's real. That's not the point.

Why have you...? I don't understand...

You asked... You asked me to get it. No, I really, really didn't!

But it's a shotgun wedding! Yeah, no, I get it, Dean!

I get the joke! It's my joke!

You don't need to explain it to me!

There are kids out there!

Oh, it'd be hilarious, Rachel. And I've got the gun now.

I had to go to Rutland to pick it up.

I don't know where that is.

I do think we should use it. No, we should not use it!

Come on! If there's ever an option to not use a gun,

that's always going to be better.

I couldn't agree less.

The speeches are starting, Dean. I'm going back in.

You're nuts. Nuts.

ROBIN SIGHS

Oh, come on, Robin.

And ever since that day, the gearbox on the white Suzuki

has run as smoothly as our relationship.

Oh, my giddy, giddy gosh!

Let me hear you make some noise! Woo!

When I say renegade, you say hardware!

Renegade! Hardware!

Oh, my God.

Reload!

Hold on tight now. Lock up your sons.

It's the R to the A

to the Rachel Jessop.

Yes, Mum! The best man!

Bap! Bap! Bam!

Oh, thank you, Jelson.

Thank you.

Er...

So, first of all, I have to say,

the bridesmaids look absolutely lovely.

APPLAUSE

Our thoughts are with those who can't be here,

especially our dad, Michael, who couldn't come

from France because he sadly...

..didn't want to.

But let's not get into that.

This is... What a wonderful day!

Yes! Thank you! Yeah, it is! Yeah.

You know, the first time Robin and Cherry

were going to get married, I remember...

Back in, oh, 2020. Yeah, it was.

I remember that I was... Covid.

No. No, no, no, no. Oh, gosh. Go on, point it at him!

No, no, no, no. Oh, my God!

Because Cherry's pregnant!

Yeah. No, no, that... So it's a shotgun wedding!

Yeah, no, we get it. We all get it, Dean.

Stop pointing it at people. Well...

Put the gun down, mate. Some people might not have got it!

Oh, shotgun wedding!

Oh, that's funny, that!

Yeah, you see, it's actually quite a subtle... Dean, be careful!

GUNSHOT

Rach! You all right? Mum!

LAUGHTER

What, don't! Amy, he'll go mental!

No, I've got to film this! It's so cute!

Look at him!

What are the key themes in Macbeth? Er...

Witchcraft. Yeah.

Scotland. Scotland's not a theme. It's a place.

Er, ambition. Ambition! To the bird feeder!

This is how Mum's finally getting Sam to do any revision.

What is photosynthesis?

Er...

Plants. It's how plants eat.

They eat and process... Oi!

That's my camera! Don't touch my camera!

Amy, come on, stop it.

Just put it down! Yeah.

So much for 50 Shades Of Mellow.

They are absolutely livid.

So, what?

They just won't play? No.

I mean, their instruments are covered in cake.

Mm. And...?

So's my face!

Bwap, bwap, bwap!

Those of you who managed to get cake,

remember to check for shrapnel.

NERVOUS LAUGHTER

I'm sorry, Rob.

Oh, that's all right, Deano. It's not your fault.

What?!

It is his fault! Yeah.

And it's not OK cos we haven't got a band any more!

I thought it'd be funny! What?

And not loaded... Well, luckily, Paul stopped anyone

from getting hurt.

I'm so proud of you, Paul.

Well, I just saw that there was a potentially live firearm,

so I just had to step in... Yes, all right!

..neutralise the weapon. You don't need to talk us through it again.

You're welcome.

I could plug in my iPhone, babe, crank out some tunes?

Plug it into what?

The music table thing is completely spattered. Is it?

The mixing desk, Rob. The what?

Mixing desk. No. And again.

The mixing desk. Mixing desk.

I could sing!

Really? And Amy could accompany me.

Ah! Er... OK.

I mean, I could try.

Oh! Yes, Amy!

It's all coming together! Is it?

Yes. Is it?

Yeah.

I mean, just to say, Sue, sorry.

The first dance was going to be Wap

by Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B.

But obviously... I mean, do what you can if you don't...

Sorry, Robin. I don't know that one. I didn't think you would.

It's OK. Yeah.

She doesn't know it, babe! Right.

Sorry. Oh, now, we should get you a chair, Maya.

Look, you're too squished on that stool.

No, it's fine, Sue. We're used to it.

This is home from home. Yeah.

What?

What was that little cheeky smile?

What's this?

My flat.

Well, your flat.

You should have it.

Have it?

What are you talking about? What, have your flat?

Well, no, live in it.

It'd still be mine.

Are you being serious? She can't be serious?

Paul said I could move back in.

Oh!

# Why are we waiting? #

Shut up, Dean!

Sorry, just give me a sec.

Have you got a flat for me as well, Granny?

One, two, three, four...

Oh! Yes, Amy!

That's lovely!

# You're nobody till somebody loves you... #

Yes, Sue!

Wow!

I actually know this one!

# You're nobody till somebody cares... #

Come on, everyone! Come on!

# You may be king... # In you come!

# You may have the world and it's gold... #

Go on, Sue!

It's an absolute deathtrap, this cake.

It's so bloody creamy.

Oh, my God!

Is it ever! Mm.

Come on.

Dance with me. What?

Dance with me! OK.

LAUGHTER

Ah! Ow! Huh?

Huh?! It's not shrapnel, is it?

No, of course it's not shrapnel.

Actually, I've got something to show you.

So, I wanted to get a tattoo... What?

Really? ..of your name, yeah.

You didn't! Well, hang on.

For various reasons,

including an exceptionally obtuse tattoo artist,

that didn't work out.

So I got this instead.

Undo the zip.

Rach!

It's meant to be me and you.

As in...

..because we're peas in a pod.

NERVOUS LAUGHTER

That's...

I love peas. I know you do.

I'm really glad I married you.

You do know that, don't you?

It wasn't because I was pregnant.

Well, I mean, it was a bit, but...

..it was because I wanted to.

I still want to.

# As sure as the stars... #

Yeah! Woo! # Shine above... #

Sam!

We're getting a game of It going, if you want in?

Er, It? I'm 16.

Is that a yes or a no?

Yeah, all right. Go on, then. It!

# So find yourself somebody

# Find yourself somebody

# Find yourself somebody to love. #