Original subtitles

Look how good that is. Yeah!

OK, who wants an arm wrestle? I'm playing the winner!

Aah! Whoa!

OK, Dad, I'm filming.

Are you filming, Sam?

Yeah, you're shouting again!

Yeah, it's this flipping ear, it's blocked! It's blocked still!

Yeah.

Can you hurry up, please?

DRUMMING Robin!

What? Ooh, no, hang on, I can hear - I can hear that.

You can hear that? Yeah.

Agh, just get on with it, Dad.

Honestly! Ha, ha, ha!

OK, ahoy there, shipmates!

It's Captain Long John Paul Jessop here aboard...

ROBIN LAUGHS Now, then! Go on.

..my old boat. Oi. From when I was a boy!

Yes, and today we're taking it upon the seven seas for the first time

since, er, I want to say, um... When was Babylon Zoo?

It doesn't matter, can you hurry up, please?

I need to get home to set up for the party, for the students.

All right, I'm just waiting for you lot to embark.

To what? Embark.

What - what's embark again?

Come aboard, get on the boat, Mum.

Well, turn it on first, see if it works.

Turn it on? Yeah. It's not a Hoover.

Start her up, I think you mean. OK.

And you can't wear heels on an inflatable vessel I'm afraid, Cherry,

that's just asking for trouble. In case it pops. Oh, my God.

I am absolutely pumped about this, to be fair to me.

Start again, Paul.

OK, Amy? This is really fun, isn't it?

No, it isn't, I don't want to go on.

I feel like...not James Bond,

but, you know, people who... people who go on boats.

Oh, Paul, give it some welly!

Yeah, I'm giving it - this is welly, Mum!

This is what welly looks like. Shall I ask one of the men to help?

What do you mean? I'm a man! I'm one of the men!

No. Yeah, but, like, one of the proper boat guys? Yeah.

I'm a proper boat guy! I'm a sailor man, mate.

And it's not me - my technique's spot on,

it's just this, this pull cord's really, really stiff.

Come on, girl.

Or I could have a go if you like?

THEY GASP

Oh, my God, Robin!

Man over board!

Robin! PANICKED SHOUTING

Oh, it's not that deep, actually. I'm OK.

PAUL GROANS What's going on?

Dad's hogging the toilet.

Er, I'm not hogging the toilet, Amy,

I'm trying to clean this flipping earwax out -

I think it's compacted.

Well, yeah, of course it is, you keep prodding it with cotton buds,

what did you think it was going to do?

I just thought that if I probed the left ear

then the wax would eventually... Come out the right one?

Oh, yeah, ha, ha, mate. Ha, ha.

Can you not film me while I'm in the bathroom please, Sam?

Why? Because of the nightie?

No, because the bathroom is meant to be a sanctuary, a safe space,

not part of your documentary, thank you.

Why are you wearing a nightie, in fact?

It's not a nightie, it's a long T-shirt.

What's going on? I need the loo.

Well, go on, then.

No, I mean...properly.

Urgh. Gross! Great, Mum, thanks for telling us that.

Well, he made me - can you hurry up, please, Paul?

Yeah, I'm just getting my earwax out, babe.

Oh, God, not this again. Why are you so waxy?

I am not "so" waxy, I just happen to have a high functioning gland

and a narrow ear canal.

It's a bad design, frankly.

What? The ear?

Yes, the ear. Ugh.

I need to unclog, pronto.

If I can't hear properly

then the police won't let me on the training course

and my medical's in four weeks.

Yeah, well, I've got my lecture in 25 minutes -

and you're dropping me off! Yeah.

Hello? Morning all!

Morning, Mum. Oh, hi.

Why has she got keys?

Did you get her keys?

I've brought crossed buns!

Have you got your own keys, Mum?

Why have you got your own keys?

I got some cut.

Um, sorry what do you mean crossed buns?

Do you mean hot crossed buns?

No, these are cold.

Oh...

Now, then, Sammy, I thought you were stopping doing your videos

to concentrate on your GCSEs.

Oh, yeah, no, I am. I will, Granny, you know, soon.

How did you cut your own key, Sue?

Did you take a set from the house without us knowing?

Oh, don't put it like that, Rachel, that makes it sound really sneaky.

Well, it is really sneaky!

Oh! Huh? Oh, Paul!

Oh, put some undies on for goodness' sake.

Oh, Mum! For God...! Oh!

Oh, no! But I've seen it all before.

Yeah, not recently, you haven't. God.

Well, you've not changed much, really. Well, that's not true.

That's not true.

And - and the law has changed, that's actually upskirting.

As per the voyeurism offences act of 2019 it is a major crime.

Oh, here we go, spot the copper.

Well...

Well, it's your fault for wearing a nightie.

Yeah, exactly. It's not a nightie, it's a long T-shirt!

That is a nightie, that's what a nightie is.

Find some pyjamas if you need to wear something in bed.

I'm not wearing pyjamas like some kind of...

..banana.

Well, you need to cover your banana

if you're going to stand on the staircase.

Oh, my God. Knock, knock! Robin. Morning all.

Aww. All right? Hey. All right, Spielberg?

Hey, Susan, come on, give us a squeeze.

Hiya, Robin. Now, then, can I tempt you with a crossed bun?

Urgh, yuck, don't like 'em.

Just a cup of tea would be ideal, thank you.

We're not staying for long. No.

Just need to use the printer, if poss,

print out Cherry's divorce papers. Yeah.

Oh, OK. Well, quickly, then.

Divorce? I thought you divorced Ian yonks ago, Cheryl.

Mm. Well, I have been trying to, so...

..but he keeps refusing to sign the divorce papers

because he still loves me so much. Selfish git. Oh, dear.

Oh, he'll sign. I'll make him sign.

I'm going to talk to the guy next week, mano a mano.

Yeah, and I'm going to come, an' all.

Yeah... Well, no, hang on, if you're there it's not mano a mano is it?

Then it's mano a mano a womano.

Er, "mano" means hand in Italian.

Oh... So... Er, just email me the document I'll get it...

I like the old, er... What do you call them? Yeah, well...

Hairy horns? MIMICS CLOWN HORN

Space buns. Yeah. They were quite trendy last year. Right.

And this year, no?

She's trying to blend in with the other freshers on her course.

Mm. What? Are you still called a fresher, Rachel, at your age? Yeah.

I love that. Oh, ha, ha, thank you, thank you for that, Sue, yeah.

You know, ideologically, we're all pretty much the same, so...

Er, you're the weirdo older student, Mum,

you're not going to become friends with them

just because you put your hair in a bun. It's two buns. And I might.

Right. You won't. Hello. You all right? Yeah, good, you?

Right, well I'm going to get the buns out! Ooh, er, missus.

Amy, I haven't seen you since you got back.

Farvel. What?

Farvel. Is it farvel? Robin said it was farvel.

Is it not? What's this farvel?

It's hello in Danish, no?

Yeah. I was in Norway.

You... Oh, sorry, yes, Norge. Yeah. Mm.

Same sort of thing, innit? A lot of white people on bikes.

Um... Happy to be home, are ya?

Nope, unhappy to be home.

Aww. I want to go back as soon as possible.

Oh, come on, Amy, that's not true.

Yeah - and in the meantime she's been trying to turn the place into Oslo,

hence all the scatter cushions and trolls everywhere, urgh.

Um, I'm trying to make the place more hygge, yeah.

Oh, here we go. What? More what?

Hygge. It's Norwegian for cosy.

Um, it's way more nuanced than that. Mm-hm.

She'll be putting an oil rig in the garden next.

Yeah - and charging us £40 for a beer. Yeah!

Oh, ha, ha, funny.

I mean, what's Norway got that you can't find here, for goodness' sake?

My friend Kare took me out on his boat on the fjords.

So? OK, but come on, there's loads of great things here, Amy...

Yeah! ..in the UK, you know there's, there's...

Er... Um...

Norwich Castle's reopening. Yeah.

New series of I'm A Celeb!

And I - I've sold my house.

Er, Carabao Cup Final.

Er, Maya will be back from university soon, so... Yeah.

You sold your house? I thought it was only under offer?

Exchanged contracts on Thursday.

Hey! Oh! That's good, innit?

Why is that something for Amy to look forward to?

Well, you can all come and help yourself to my gubbins.

Gubbins, what do you mean, gubbins?

Well, I've got to clear everything out. Really?

Oh, you'll love it, Amy, a lot of it is very higgledy.

- Hygge. - Uh-huh, yeah. Like what?

I've got doilies coming out of my drawers.

Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!

You meant... Sorry, I thought you meant knickers.

Robin. You've got doilies. You've got doilies, Sue. I'm sorry.

I've got doilies, cushions, more gnomes.

Oh, no, not gnomes, the gnomes you can chuck.

One of them looks exactly like Paul, actually!

Oh does it? No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't.

So, where are you moving to, then, Granny?

I want to buy a flat but I can't find anywhere I like

so I think I'll just have to rent somewhere for the time being.

You should move in here, Granny.

Ha, ha! Well, no, no.

No, that would be impractical, I fear,

it takes us a month to use the bathroom,

er, in the morning as it is, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, well I-I don't want to get in the way.

Um, tea for you, Rachel?

Er, no, I'm all right, thanks, Sue, I've got to go -

um, as do you all, actually, no offence.

We've all got to go, sorry. OK, um...

There's your divorce papers.

Thanks. Have you got a takeaway cup for the tea?

No, because this isn't Starbucks. OK, hang on, then.

He's downing it. Mate, don't...

No, don't down it, you bell.

"Farvel" means goodbye, by the way.

Ah, OK. Oh, God.

- Well, farvel! - It's boiling hot. Argh!

We can try again tomorrow, so... Mm, well, maybe, yeah.

Why are you going this way?

Oh, I need to go to the chandler's.

The what? He means the boat shop. No.

Yeah, I need to get a new pull cord... No.

..and we need some engine oil, so... No, I need - I need to get home.

Oh, and we should get some olive oil for your ear, Paul.

Well, they won't sell that at the chandler's.

Olive oil? What are you talking about?

If you pour olive oil in your ear it'll get rid of the wax.

Yeah, great idea, Mum!

Maybe if I squirt some mayonnaise up my bum

it'll sort out my constipation. Urgh. Ugh, Dad.

Well, putting less of it in your mouth might help, yes.

And - and we've got olive oil at home.

Yes, but we don't have engine oil,

so we do need to go to the chandler's.

Also I need to buy a buoy. What? What do you mean?

Like a...a cabin boy? No! What?!

No, it's like a bouncy, floaty thing

that protects the boat. PHONE VIBRATES

I'm not trying to buy a male child, Mum.

It's inflatable, the whole boat is basically a buoy,

we do not need to go to the boat shop.

Oh, for God's sake... Chandler's.

Aww... What is it? Another one of the students drop out?

No, it-it's this party, they just keep leaving the WhatsApp group,

they don't even say they can't come, they just leave.

I mean, should I add them again? They might've left by mistake.

No. Definitely not, that's really lame.

I'm going to write good riddance.

No, don't do anything,

you'll just scare off the stragglers still on there.

INDICATOR TICKS

No, no, I said - we're, we're not going to the boat shop, Paul.

It's the chandler's! No! No! I need a new pull cord... No!

..and it's the chandler's. We've got to go home!

Rachel, please! Please! Why are you doing this?

Oh, my God. Why? Why now?!

I'm just going to get a pull cord and a little buoy. God!

Oh, my God!

The likeness is uncanny.

No, it isn't, it just has a beard.

It looks exactly like you, Dad!

Why are you laughing, Mum? You married him.

Yeah, no, fair point.

Huh? Hey, hold that, Paul. What?

Oh, no, stop it, stop it!

Right, give me that, I'm taking it to the skip.

Oh, no, don't, I want to keep that.

Agh, ngh...

Oh, gosh, are you OK?

No, my ear's blocked again.

Agh, am I clicking, am I clicking guys?

Oh, wicked, is that a Super 8?

Oh, no, it's a camera, that's your grandad's old cine one.

Can I have it? Give me that, Paul, I'll take that.

Granny, can I have the camera?

Anything you like the look of?

Yeah, of course. For your room?

Nope.

We could, er, redecorate, if you like?

Oh, what, you think a Toby jug and a horse brass

is going to make me not want to go back to Norway?

No, that's not what I'm saying, Amy,

I'm just asking you to be a bit more positive, if you can,

about being back - you know, I know Norway was great

and it'll take time to adjust, but...

Oh, there's a foot spa, that might help!

I'm having the foot spa! No, I was going to give it to... Oh, my God!

Look who I found!

Oi-oi. Oh, no! Oh, my God, Robin, you've got a black eye!

Yeah. I have, I know I have, yeah. Oh! Yeah.

Yeah, Ian did it in their mano a mano.

Oh, no. Oh, Robin!

Well, I hope you smacked him back!

Oh, grow up! "Smacked him back!"

Yeah, did you smack him back?

I didn't, no, I didn't want to stoop to his level, so...

Ian's quite stacked. Yeah, but that's not why, babe,

I could've hit him, I could've probably killed him, if I wanted to.

- Really? - But...yeah. Just a bit, just...

..job done. But, no, it's better this way,

with him as the sole aggressor

because, er, now he has to agree to the divorce

in exchange for me not pressing charges. Oh...

Yeah, it's actually worked out well. Yeah. Apart from his minging eye.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So, how's this house clearance thing work then, Sue?

We can just take anything, can we?

Yeah, pretty much, yeah.

Yeah, not that, though, that's my handbag.

Yeah, I didn't want it anyway. OK, great.

And if you could help me chuck these armchairs in the skip that'd be fab.

Oh, no, you're not getting rid

of the old armchairs are you, Mum?!

You're shouting again, Dad. Huh?

Oh, wow, Sue, you've got one of the old deep pan TVs, love it.

Oh, and tapes, look!

Here, Rach, you should show these to your students,

these are well in right now. Yeah.

What? Tapes? Are they? Yeah. Yeah?

I mean, everything goes in cycles, don't it?

Tapes, crop tops, Sugababes - it's basically the '90s again.

Um, I'm not sure Simply Red specifically are back,

but, yeah, by all means, put it on when they come over. Oh, OK.

What's this, what's this? The students are coming over, is it?

House party! Mm, sort of.

Actually, Dean and Jelson are aggressively single at the moment...

No. ..if you want some blokes to just, you know... Absolutely not.

Babe. ..get things going, you know? No, I don't want that.

It's not really that sort of evening, anyway,

we're just going to eat moussaka and chill. What?!

What? Moussaka?

Students don't want to eat moussaka, Rach.

Why not? Is that not a...? What's wrong with moussaka?

Aubergines.

The moussaka thing is a bit shit, to be fair, Mum.

Well, OK - and I was going to bake a lemon drizzle. Oh, my God, no.

Rach, Rach, it sounds - no offence - lemon jizzle.

You need to do a drinking game or something,

you know, to break the ice a bit. Mm?

What's this rubber thing in here? Oh, that's the old boat.

What? That wants skipping, as well, Paul.

Hey, what the...?

We're not chucking out the boat! The boat?!

Er, boat? What boat?

You've got a boat?

Yeah, I've got a boat. Big time. My old boat. OK.

Me and Daddy used to have some great times in that baby.

Daddy? Doing what? Fishing?

Huh? No, no, pootling.

Yeah, razzing around the marina.

Yeah, it's a serious bit of kit that, Sam.

It's a blow up dinghy, innit?

Er, no, it is a rigid inflatable boat, thank you.

She is not a dinghy.

There's an engine round here somewhere, should be.

Oh, we should - we should take it out.

Well, hang on a sec because we've got to...

Yeah, Amy might like it, you know,

it might stop her going on about the fjords.

Oh, I doubt it's still seaworthy, Rachel.

Oh, she's still seaworthy, all right!

It's not even bin worthy, it's covered in mould! It's stinky.

Oh, that'll scrape off a treat, don't worry about that!

You're shouting again, Dad! Huh?

Oh... Stinky boat. Huh?

Have you got the new pull cord working?

Huh?

OK, forget it.

What was that, Sam?

Right, come on, Paul! Let's do your ear.

I can't hear you, Mum!

OK, I'm off out.

What? But my - my student friends are coming over.

Yeah, I know, that's why I'm going.

No, but I need you here to, come on, you know...

Make you seem less old?

I mean, pretty much.

And - and I thought you might enjoy it, as well,

meeting people your own age.

Who'll want to know why I'm still living at home

and doing nothing with my life. Yeah, I wouldn't enjoy that, Mum.

Well, I mean, where are you even going?

They're screening a Norwegian film at the Everyman in Birmingham.

Oh, my God, you have to stop being so obsessed with Norway, please,

this is not healthy.

Says the person about to drink a litre of vodka.

I mean, that's just to break the ice, ignore that.

What's the film?

Um, it's a documentary about children

suffering from seasonal affective disorder in northern Norway.

Great, well, that'll cheer you up.

Hang on, Birmingham? You're going to Birmingham?

Yeah, so I need to leave now.

Well, oh...

How does that feel, Paul?

Huh?

Is it going in?

I can't hear you, Mum, there's oil in my ear!

Ugh.

Er, are you two planning to be here all evening?

Huh?

I mean it's honestly like an old people's home in here.

Well, do your party in the lounge, then!

Well, no, I would,

but there's a four horsepower boat engine in there!

Paul! Yes?!

Er, a cup of tea please, babe!

No, I didn't...

Why have you got a funnel in your ear?

Huh?

Oh, Mum was using it to pour olive oil in -

but it actually helps me hear a bit better.

Oh, my God.

Oh, like an ear trumpet?

DOORBELL RINGS It's kind of like an ear trumpet!

Aww... That's what I said.

Huh? Oh, God, I mean, this is great, this is exactly the image of my life

I wanted to present to my course mates.

DOORBELL RINGS The phone's ringing, Rach!

No, that's the doorbell!

Huh? Doorbell! Ah...

OK.

Oh, God.

Hey! Hi.

How's it goin'?

I, er, come in! Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

NERVOUS LAUGHTER Um... Yeah.

Is anyone else coming, or...?

Um, I hope so!

No, probably not, sorry.

Er, people can be...people your age, very cruel on WhatsApp, can't they?

So... Hello.

Yeah. No, ignore him, that's...

Please don't film them, Sam, they're our guests, sorry.

I brought this.

Great.

That's so kind.

Thank you.

Come this way.

Yeah, no, I was going to just put on a tape. Um... Love tapes.

Yeah... Hello, there!

Do you like tapes? Hello?

Hi! Huh?

No, er, don't go in that room!

Oh, er... No! Hi.

I'm Sue.

I'll get me trumpet.

Oh, yes, God, yeah, this is Sue and this is Paul,

er, these are my course mates...

I realise I actually don't even know your names.

Oh, er, er, Fara.

And Xiaoming. Xiaoming.

Huh?

Lovely to meet you.

Paul Jessop.

Do you live with your parents?

Er...

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

It is a bit of a drag,

but it does save a lot of money, so it's, you know...

I'm a former Olympic archer!

It's... God, yeah.

Right.

My Dad.

You know, maybe we should...

I-I feel like I want to...leave.

No. No, no, no, no, no!

Don't, don't be silly, no, it's going to be great,

just need to relax a bit

and I actually planned a drinking game for us.

Oh, I don't really drink, but... No, just a little one,

just an ice breaker, you know,

um, get some atmos going, loosen you up a bit!

Is that...? Do I need that?

Loosen up all of us.

So, it's the same rules as Play Your Cards Right, so, very simple.

What's that? What's...?

Well, yeah, no, fair point,

you're probably, um, too young to know that.

Well, it's, um - it was a Bruce Forsyth show.

Er, who?

Brucie.

Brucie, come on.

I mean, you must've seen Brucie growing up.

I grew up in Chengdu.

Even so, he was...he was this guy, he used to do this.

Why?

I don't... I have no idea, he just did that - that...

The point is, that doesn't matter.

I play a card and you have to say if the next one is higher or lower

and if you get it wrong you have to drink half the glass

and if you get a blackjack or an ace you have to drink the whole glass

and if it's a seven it changes direction, got it?

Er, I didn't understand this thing about Brucie.

Forget that, that's not relevant.

Er, and I'm not sure I really want to play.

No, you will want to play once you play,

because it's going to be great, OK?

Stars by Simply Red And...turn a card.

Eight, OK, so I'm going to go lower.

Ah, it's ten, so that means I've got to drink half of that.

Gosh, that's...that is a lot stronger than I thought.

It's nice, um, but it's got quite a kick.

It's really strong.

Good, but strong. Great.

OK, so, your go, Xiaoming - higher or lower?

Lower.

Lower.

Seven! It is lower, and seven means it goes back to me,

so it's my turn again. Er, I'm going to go...

Yeah, I'm going to go lower than a seven.

Oh, my goodness,

OK, so, it's a queen, which means I'm going to drink the rest of it.

I'm getting a bit of a head start, aren't I?!

Agh.

So, what's your name again?

Er, Fara. Faro, Faro...

Fara, are you going to go higher or lower than a queen?

Lower.

Lower, that's a good guess.

You're right, it's a good... and, Xiaoming, higher or lower?

Er, higher.

Higher. I'd go higher.

You are higher, it is higher.

I'm going to go lower than a king.

Oh come on, it's a blackjack!

It's a blackjack!

That means I'm going to have to drink the whole thing, so...

Uh-oh.

Because that was punishment,

it's my go again. I'm going to go...

..lower.

Oh...

You all right?

Sorry.

It's all good.

It's really nice.

PAUL SNORES

OK, I'm going to go lower than an ace.

Oh, God, thank God.

Xiaoming?

Higher. Higher? Higher?

It is higher and it's a seven so it's back to me.

I'm going to go lower than a seven.

OK...

Cool.

Is... Is she doing this on purpose?

Yeah, Mum, probably don't have that one.

This is really fun, isn't it really fun?

Rach? SHE GROANS

Rach? Mm?

I brought you some water, Rachel, love.

What happened?

You fell asleep and were sick.

Oh...

Oh...

Are they still here?

No, they went a while ago.

Mm.

When you didn't come back from the loo

we ended up showing Xiaoming a load of Bruce Forsyth videos on YouTube.

Mm.

Well, I guess I'll definitely be the weird old student now.

With good reason, to be fair. Yeah.

Right, come on, let's get you to bed.

Ooh, ooh, hang on. Oh, oh, God, what's that?

Oh...! No, what is it?

That's my earwax! Oh, oh, my God! Oh!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God, oh, my God, that's disgusting.

Oh, my God. Wow! Oh, Sam, get it off me, get it off me!

I'm-I'm not touching it. Oh, God!

I can hear everything.

I'm like Superman. Oh! Urgh.

Or - or normal man, a policeman, anyway!

I told you the olive oil would work, didn't I?

Yeah! Oh, Mum, thanks so much. Oh, my God, oh, my God!

I don't know what I'd do without you.

Oh, it's all smeared, it's disgusting!

Oh, come on, jeez Louise.

And it's... Oh, my God.

Overreacting much? It's just human wax. Urgh.

Now, make sure that your ear is dry for at least a couple of days,

because otherwise it will get all blocked up again.

Yeah, yeah. What's all the shouting about?

My earwax came out!

And Mum was sick.

Amy, hi.

Hi. Hiya.

How was the Norwegian film?

No idea, the train to Birmingham was cancelled so I missed it.

This country's honestly shit.

Whoa.

No, it's - it's not, Amy. It's not.

You know, Paul's fixed the boat. Yeah. Haven't you, Paul?

Yeah, she's all ship shape, ready to try again tomorrow,

so that'll be...

..good, right? Good.

Hey? Look at that!

Oh, you smeared it in, I wanted to keep that!

What you doing, Sam?

Just trying out that old camera.

You OK? Yeah, no, I'm fine.

Right, look out.

Yeah, thanks, Cheryl, love. All right, OK...

Careful, Robin. OK, then. Okey dokey.

Excellent, OK, take two - now that I've fitted a new pull cord

it should be a lot looser than yesterday,

but please don't sit too close to the tiller,

I don't want to give anyone another black eye.

Well, I've got nothing left to give, by the way!

I'm so sorry about that again, Robin. Ah...

No, don't be, his face definitely looks way more even now.

It does, it does. Please can we stop it from rocking?

Yeah, we do need to sort out the weight distribution.

Cherry, if you move... You what?

What are you trying to say?

No, I didn't...

OK, Mum, if you could...

What?! I've been on a diet, thank you!

No, it's not like - it's not about that, it could be anyone, oh, my God!

I'll get off, I don't like boats anyway. Thank you, Sam.

OK, cheers, go on, off you go. Bye.

All right, but don't - soft step, Sam, all right don't clomp, Sam!

Oh, Sam! Don't rock it, Sam. You're not helping, mate.

Look, Chez, you come over here with me, look.

Amy, get over there next to Sue. OK?

All right, it will level out once we get some knots up, OK?

OK. Oh, God, please can we just keep it level? All right, OK.

Are you a bit hungover then, Rachel?

No, no, actually, I'm just a bit seasick.

Right, yeah.

Warp speed, Mr Paulo. Yep, one sec.

I bet this reminds you of the fjords, doesn't it?

No.

OK, here we go! Come on!

Right, ready? Three, two, one!

Oh!

Oh, my God, not again! No! mate, you all right?

Not again! Robin, sit down!

Sit down, please! Stop rocking the boat! Robin!

SHE VOMITS

Eurgh, Rach, stop vomming!

Stop vomming, Rach!

Oh, that's...

SHE LAUGHS, PAUL MOANS

That's so gross.

Argh, get out of there!

I did say we should chuck it.

Definitely. Get it in the skip.

I'll use my bod. Here, Mum. Oh...

Oh, thank you.

Ooh...

What are you smiling about?

Just...I'm quite happy to be home, actually.

Mm.

Eurgh, you stink of vomit, Mum.

Here you go, love.

Thanks, Mum.

Mm, you're the best.

You know...

..if you wanted to, you'd be welcome to move in with us

while you're looking for somewhere else.

Really? Yeah.

Let's do something nice for you for a change.

Oh... Watch out for the buoy, Rach. Rach!

Aah, oh! Oh, Mum!

You all right? Come on, come on get up.

Would that be all right with Rachel?

Yeah, definitely.

Probably.

But, er, we'd love you to move in with us, Mum, of course we would.

Oh, agh...

What is it?

Oh... I think the water's blocked my ear again. Aww.

Oh, no way, Granny kept the gnome of Dad!

Really?

It's not "of" me. Mum, I thought you said you were going to bin that?

Well, Amy said she wanted it.

Exactly, it's mine.

Thanks, Granny. No Amy, Amy!

That's going in the skip!

No! Amy! No!

Amy, please!

It's mine! No! Go on! Amy! Sam! Seize her!

It's mine! Sam!

# I

# Wanna fall from the stars

# Straight into your arms, I

# I feel you

# I hope you comprehend, I

# Wanna fall from the stars

# Straight into your arms, I

# I feel you

# I hope you comprehend, I

# Wanna fall from the stars... #