Original subtitles

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Narrator: Where Western history comes alive.

Stories of the Old West,

stories of hardships and adventure,

of dreams and of courage.

Stories of the American pioneer are all a part of our past,

of our heritage.

The border country between nations

is always an area of trouble,

and nowhere was the truth more evident

than along the border between the United States

and the newly formed Republic of Texas.

Outlaws of every type infested that border.

Some of the worst, most violent criminals to walk

on the of the Earth. Others were simply frontiersmen,

proud and independent rebels who hated civilization

and law in any form.

It was these men who caused sheriffs on both sides

of the border their worst headaches.

Just before the annexation of Texas by the United States,

one of the most colorful of these outlaws

lived on the northern end of the border.

He was an unrepentant old sinner who worked out his own solution

to the problems of border law.

His name was Stapleton. The Sheriffs knew him as...

[ animal panting ]

Come on.

Yeah.

Hey, Joe?

Do you see what I see?

Old Stape.

Hyah! Hyah!

We'’ll get that old buzzard this time.

Come on.

Man, he'’s clumsier than a day-old cub

backing down a sycamore.

[cackles]

You ought to have better sense.

You know you can'’t catch Old Stape in the woods.

Yeah, I guess I ought to. Tried it often enough.

I don'’t know.

Seeing him so close up,

guess I just lost my head.

You'’re lucky he didn'’t blow it off.

Oh, Old Stape don'’t shoot law officers.

He just makes jackasses out of them.

At least we got Major Atherton'’s prize hog back.

Yeah. Trouble is, I'’m a United States Sheriff.

And we'’re in Texas by a couple of miles.

I got no authority to reclaim stolen property

in Texas.Stolen? Who said it was stolen?

No reason we can'’t cooperate returning strayed stock.

"Strayed"?

Sure. I found that hog wanderin'’ along,

and returned him to you-- no crime involved.

Yeah, but Old Stape--Oh, he can'’t make any protest.

He wouldn'’t dare. I got eleventeen warrants

to arrest him on sight, as it is.Yeah, maybe so.

But he'’s gonna be awful sore at us for taking his loot.

He went to a lot of effort, swiping that hog.

I better get him back to the Major. He'’s been raisin'--

He'’s gone!

I thought you tied him up!I did!

He must have pulled loose!

Hyah!

[neighs]Hyah!

Stape.Stape.

Poor as a wicked sinner, Stape!

Stealin'’ a prize hog!

Wicked! Wicked.Oh, stop naggin'’, Weasel.

Atherton'’s rich. He'’s got plenty of hogs.

That is not the point!

Stealin'’ is a sin, Stape.

You stole that hog twice!

I had to! Them sheriffs was takin'’ it back to Atherton.

Come on, now. Relax. Weasel? Here.

Here, have a drink for that cold.

[coughs] Yeah, I feel maybe...

Maybe just a little nip for medicinal purposes.

You know I don'’t approve of demon rum!Oh, yeah, I know.

[gulping]

[coughing]

Whoa. Thanks.

Stape, I saw that Sheriff Webb in town,

him and that Louisiana sheriff, Joe Dickens?

Oh, they was mad enough to bite themselves.

Was they, now?Oh, they was cussin'’ you up and down,

terriblest language I ever did hear.

Stape, you oughtn'’t to have run off them horses like that.

Walking'’s mighty hard on men in ridin'’ boots!

Really made me mad!Not as mad as you made them!

They'’s out to get you this time, Stape.

And I'’m worried!Well, you don'’t need to be.

That'’s why I had that surveyor fella help me get this cablin located

square on the border line.

That door opens in Texas, and the other one opens in the United States.

So no matter which one of them sheriffs shows up,

all I got to do is step out the other door,

and they can'’t arrest me.

I know. I know!

And it'’s always worked slick as a whistle.

And I know they can'’t trap you outside.

But still! [chuckling] You worry too much, Weasel.

How '’bout that cold?What cold?

Oh. [sneezes, coughs]

Deep. Deep.

[gulping]

I sure am glad you ain'’t a drinkin' man.

[coughs] Will power, Stape.

Will power'’s the only thing that defeats demon rum.

Is that what it is?

I guess I'’d better get goin'’, or Petunia's really gonna be worried.

I-I just stopped by to warn you to be careful, Stape.

Them sheriffs are mean.I'’ll be careful, Weasel.

Oh, and by the way...

Petunia says... thanks for the hog meat.

She gonna roast himSunday.

If you wanna drop by.

[door closes]

Petunie, you'’re the best cook in the Republic of Texas.

You can save the sweet talk, you thievin'’ old bushrunner.

I don'’t know why Egbert thinks you'’re still worth trying to save.

Now, Petunia--

And you get him started on that woodpile out back, now, you hear me?

How come she'’s so sore at me?

Don'’t you pay no attention to her, Stape!

She'’s got some silly notion you sent me home drunk the other day.

She hates the stuff.

You tell her you had a cold?Didn'’t believe me.

Egbert?

We better get on that woodpile.

We don'’t want her reallyriled up.No.

That'’s one kind of trouble I can do without.

Now, you chop. I'’ll saw. All right.

Folks in town is all talkin'’ about the States annexin'’ Texas.

Pretty excited about it, too.

Yeah. Just talk. Never happen.

Might be a good thing, Stape.

You crazy? We just fought a war to get free.

Yeah, but the United States--...is another government.

And more government means more rules and laws,

and we got too many of '’em already.All right, all right!

Cool down! Like you say, it'’s probably just talk.

Well, I don'’t like no talk about annexation.

All right. All right.

Well, hear that Webb'’s been prowlin'’ around, down near your place.

[chuckles] Yeah. Seen '’im a time or two.

Reckon he'’s still a mite fressed at me.

Oh, you can lay odds on that. Him and Joe Dickens both.

I hear they been meetin'’ at the crossing.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Alby seen '’em head to head, making medicine.

And your name was heared two, three times, too.

You know something, Weasel?

I'’m gettin' a bad hunch.

Really? '’Bout what?

'’Bout them two sheriffs.

They both know about my cabin being on the border line.

That works fine, against either one of them.

But if they get together--That'’s right!

That'’s right, Stape. They should both come at you at once.

They could nail you no matter which way you jump, see?

I reckon the only thing to do is to fix it so I don'’t have to jump at all.

Yeah! Huh?

You still got that bucket of whitewash?Yeah.

Get if for me, will ya?Sure.

And a brush!

Here you go. Whatcha gonna do with it?

No time for questions. I got a job to do.

What kinda job? Can I help?No, you'’ll see when I'm done.

So will a couple of sheriffs we both know.

Wh-Wh-What about the work?

Tell Petunia I'’ll finish choppin'’ later.

[Petunia] Egbert, I don'’t hear no choppin'’!

I can'’t wait around any longer for him to show, Neil.

Our town council'’s having a meetin'’ tonight.

I got to be there.All right. We can do it tomorrow, if you can make it.

[sighs] I'’ll make it.

I'’m just as anxious to grab Old Stape as you are.

My feet. My feet are still sore.

Oh, yeah. Mine, too.

But we'’ll get him this time, if it takes us a week.

We can'’t miss, working together.

I hope not. I'’m fed up with that old scoundrel

thumbing his nose at the law in my county.

Our county. See ya tomorrow, Joe.

You fellas come right ahead.

I'’m gonna have a real nice surprise for you.

Egbert!

That lazy, good-for-nothing!

Now, Petunia, he said he'’d finish it later.Yesterday,

and he hasn'’t been back since!

But Stape was in trouble! He had to go! To do what?

Well, I don'’t know what it was, but it was important.

Important! Well, it was.

I-I could finish this kindling for you myself.

You'’ll do no such thing!

Now he said he'’ll chop this wood, and he'’ll do it,

if he knows what'’s good for him.B-But he may--

You but me no buts, Egbert!

Now you go right now, and fetch that shiftless rascal.

Do you hear me?Yes'’m. Whatever you say, dear.

And Egbert?Yes'’m?

Don'’t catch any colds!

No, ma'’am.

Well? Well?Yeah, he'’s there.

That'’s a relief. It's hard to believe we'’re finally going to lay Old Stape

by the heels at last.Yeah.

All right. Let'’s move in cautiously.

We'’ll go in on your signal. Right.

Yahhhh!

We got ya, Stape.

You'’re under arrest.You two is the noisiest critters.

Sounded like a couple of bull elephants sneaking up on the cabin.

Never mind that. You'’re under arrest.

You fellas ain'’t noticed my new decoratin'’.

What the devil'’s that supposed to mean?

You got brains. Why don'’t you use 'em?

Now look here, Stape. We both got warrants for you.

Well, sure you have. It'’s real simple.

If you look close, you'’ll likely see

that half of me is in the United States.

But the other half of me is in the Republic of Texas.

But that don'’t--Oh, hush.

Now, you, Joe. I reckon you got the right to arrest

the part that'’s in the United States.

But you got no authority to arrest the part that'’s in Texas.

That'’s crazy. You can'’t be in two countries at the same time.

Well, I am, and you can see it.

Mm, same goes for you, Webb.

Only in reverse.

It'’s your move, fellers.

He ain'’t right, is he, Joe? I mean, he can'’t get away with a stunt like this?

Oh, I don'’t know.But that'’s loony! I ain'’t gonna stand for it.

Have a seat. [chuckles]

Blast it, Joe. If you arrest your half,

and I arrest my half, then we could--

Then you could both get yourselves into a whole bunch of legal trouble.

Now you shut up!Just tryin'’ to help.

You know somethin'’, Neil? I think he'’s got us.

It'’s obvious we both can'’t arrest him.

But one of us has gotta--You know how delicate relations are between

Texas and the US right now.

What with annexation so close, and everything.

Now me, I'’m not about to do anything that'’s gonna cause it to blow up.

And if you value that star, you won'’t either.

Yeah, but-- If nobody found out...

I suppose you'’d make a big squawk about it.

I'’m the biggest squawker you ever saw.

They'’d hear me clear to Austin and Washington.

Ahhh!

Blast it, Joe. He can'’t stay in that bunk forever!

All we gotta do is wait him out.

The minute he makes a move, grab him.

Well. Help yourselves, fellas.

Gonna be a long, hungry wait.

For you too.Not me.

I got plenty of grub and water,

right under my bunk here.[pot rattling]

Come prepared for all emergencies.

Joe, for the first time in my life, I know what it'’s like

to want to commit a murder.

Let'’s get out of here, while I can still remember I'’m a sheriff.

This ain'’t the end of the game, Stape!

Annexation'’s comin'!

Stape? Are you all right? I seen them!

Wh-What'’s all that?[laughing]

Sit down, Weasel, sit down, and I'’ll tell you all about it.

Tha-at'’s it.

There you are. Take her down, little fishie.

[hee-haw]

Stop, don'’t shoot! Stape, it'’s me!

Whoa! Ho, babe.

Thank goodness I found ya, Stape. I been lookin'’ all over!

What'’s up, Weasel?Word just come in.

Annexation.

Official? Texas is now part of the United States.

Reckon that does it for me.

What ya gonna do, Stape?

I don'’t know, Weasel.

But I'’m gonna do something.

Give these to Petunie.

I cleaned '’em already.

Tell her she won'’t need to save any for me.

But Stape, you--

You been a good friend, Weasel.

Better than I deserve.

Good luck, Stape!

I may starve to death!

Give it up, Stape. You can'’t get us both, and you know it.

Maybe not. But I'’ll put a hole through the first one that moves.

Now don'’t be a fool. The charges against you are all minor.

If you shoot one of us, you'’ll swing for murder.

He'’s talking sense.

We'’re annexed. This line don'’t mean a thing.

We'’re one country now!

I told you once, you may annex Texas, but you ain'’t annexed me.

Oh, for the love of--You move fast like that,

makes me kinda nervous.

Wouldn'’t do it no more.

All right, Stape. If you want a war...

No, wait. Wait, Neil!

I got an idea. There'’s no cause for a lot of bloodshed.

Now, the main thing we want is to get rid of Old Stape, right?

Right.

And you'’re all packed up, Stape.

You, uh-- You game for a contest?

A which?

Well, a river is just a quarter of a mile north of here.

Cross it, and you'’ll be safe in the Territory.

So?So, feet are better than guns.

We race you for it. You win, you'’re free.

We win, you surrender. Peaceable!

Oh, I don'’t know.

That'’s a-- That'’s a long run.

You fellers is younger'’n me.

But I reckon it'’s a deal.

All right with you, Neil?All right. I'’ll go along.

Now, there'’s just one thing, Stape.

You make it, you don'’t ever come back.

I want your word on that.

You'’ve got it! Got too many laws around here anyway.

All right, Stape. I'’ll tell you what.

You'’re carryin' a pack, and everything,

we'’ll give you a count of, uh, count of ten start.

Well, you can start countin'’.

"One... two... three... four... five...

six... seven...

eight... nine... ten!

I gotcha!

[laughs] Hurray! I ain'’t annexed!

Ya hear me?

I ain'’t annexed!

[laughing]

I thought you could beat him, Neil.

Yeah. I had him beat until he pulled that dodge on me.

Blast him, he even runs crooked.

Well, anyway, we'’re rid of him. Yeah.

But you know something funny, Neil? What?

I think I'’m gonna miss that old devil.

Life'’s gonna be mighty dull around here...

without Old Stape.

Men such as Old Stape

were the inspirations for legends that grew

out of the American West: wild, independent,

and a headache to sheriffs.

They were a hearty and special breed.

They seldom fitted into a law-abiding society.

But it was their courage and daring that opened

the first doors to our western expansion.

An expansion that was to span a continent

between two oceans.

Be with us again next week, for another exciting story

from the American past.