All language subtitles for S17E04.The Sage Hen.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.H264.AAC-jenkins_track3_[eng]

♪ [ trumpet ]

In the 1880s,
there was more than gold
in the Black Hills of Dakota.

There were gold hunters
and gold thieves

and killers,
both red and white.

It was a raw, violent land
where the only law
came in calibers.

Took a special breed
of rugged individualists
to live in the Black Hills.

Not all of them wore beards
and chewed tobacco.

There was one, for example,
who was small and female.

Mrs. Dave Madison,
who was known
affectionately as...

Aw, Sage, honey,
I hate leaving you alone
like this,

but I need Harve with me
to help with the heavy loading.

Oh, I can manage
Harve'’s chores just fine.

You need him more than I do.

You'’re a freighter.
That'’s your business.

Go on.
Don'’t you worry about me.

Well, we'’re gonna
be gone all day.
What if some Injuns show up?

Well, there'’s plenty
of white men worse
than they are.

Aw, now, quit worrying.
I got your rifle.

And, you know,
around here someplace
I got that old pistol of yours.

Oh, yeah,
"someplace, someplace."
100-to-1 you don'’t know where.

[ chuckles ]
I know the crazy places
you hide things.

Probably stuck in the oven
or in some old boot.

Well, I'’m not gonna be
needing it anyway.

You go on.
You got a lot of stops to make.

Yeah.

Aw.
[ chuckles ]

Yeah, well,
it'’s getting late.

Go on. Here'’s your food.
I don'’t want you two
getting hungry.

I worry about you,
too, you know.

Aw, my little Sage Hen!Okay. Come on.
Put me down.

You pick the darnedest times
to get mushy. Now go on.
I got my washing to do.

All right.

Oh, and here'’s my list.
I want you to pick up
these things for me.

And tell Mr. Sampson
I want some lean
sow belly this time.

Last piece was so fat
I couldn'’t use it.
Right.

Sage, you will be careful?

Keep that rifle handy.

Don'’t worry about me.
Take care of your own self.

Ya hear?Right.

All right.
Come on, Harve.

Just what do you think
you'’re doing?

I'’m chucking rocks
at jackrabbits.

I almost hit one
with the second one. Watch.

Stop it!

What'’d you do that for?

Fine road agent you are.

Why don'’t you send up
a few smoke signals,

let everybody know
we'’re up here?

Well, I'’ll tell you,
Mr. Beaumont.

I'’m tired
of sitting on this hill,

watching that road,
and nobody coming.

Well, I'’m a little
bored myself.

Then why don'’t we ride to town,
have a few drinks
and get something to eat?

Because it'’s too far.
Stagecoach is due
this afternoon.

We don'’t wanna miss it.
Might even be carrying
a gold shipment.

Now, if you'’re so hungry,
there'’s some jerky
in my saddlebag.

Jerky?
I'’ll give you a fact, Beau.

I'’d sooner starve to death
than eat any more
of that petrified shoe leather.

Hey, I got an idea.

Really?Yeah.

This I have to hear.

We don'’t have to
go back into town.

Remember that cabin
we passed this morning
about two miles back?

We can ride down there
and get a good hot cooked meal.

I suppose we could do that.

And we could be back here
in time to hit the stage.

Why not? I could stand
a decent meal myself.

And, uh, have some fun?

Sure. And some fun too.[ laughs ]

Get the horses.

Hold it, Harve.Whoa.

A little worried,
huh, Dave?

Yeah, a little.
You know, I never
left her alone before.

Aah, she'’ll be all right.

What can happen?

Yeah. What can happen?
Let'’s go.

Ah, there it is.

Hey, it looks like
she'’s alone.

It'’s hard to tell.
Let'’s find out.

[ pleasant voice ]
Good morning, madam.Morning.

My name is Beaumont.
John Marion Beaumont.

And this is my friend
Jim Clegg.

I wonder if we might talk
to your husband.

He'’s gone freighting
to Sydney.

That'’s kind of dangerous,
isn'’t it?

A pretty woman out here
all alone like this?

Well, it frets him some.

Mrs., uh--Madison.

My pleasure.

We'’re terribly sorry
to bother you,
but my friend and I are hungry,

and we were hoping
you might be able
to resolve that problem for us.

Well, I can give ya
a hunk of sow belly

and a handful
of dried beans.

I'’m afraid you don't
understand, Mrs. Madison.

We'’re just a couple
of poor bachelors,

and we don'’t know
very much about cooking.

Now, if you'’d be so kind
as to fix it for us,
we can pay you.

I'’m afraid
I can'’t do that just now.

I gotta finish my washing.

Dear lady, I think
your wash is all finished.

[ chuckles ]

So it seems.

That wasn'’t very nice.

No, that wasn'’t very nice.

You'’ll have to forgive Clegg.
He'’s just a big,
compulsive boy sometimes.

Yes, he is big.

I think you'’d better start
preparing our repast,
Mrs. Madison.

Like I said, all I got'’s
some sour belly and dried beans

and light bread and coffee.

That'’s hardly food
for a gourmet,

but even beans can taste good
to a hungry man.

I'’ll just finish
picking up my clothes.

[ unpleasant voice ]
Forget the clothes.

Clegg, you better check
the house first for guns.

Ah, you bet.

[ laughs ]

Ahh.

[ coughs ]
Ooh, a great day in the mornin'’.

All right.
Bring her in.

[ laughs ]

[ exhales forcefully ]

Here. Lookie what I found.
And that'’s all there was.

That'’s my
husband'’s whiskey!

Was, lady, was.
It'’s all mine now.

Don'’t you mean "ours"?

Oh, sure, Beau.
Of course.

[ coughs ]

Pour me.

You get busy.

CLEGG:
Yeah, watch that.
It'’ll pucker your toenails.

[ grunting ]

W--I told you to get busy,
my dear.

Hmm? Oh, yes.

You weren'’t listening.

[ grunts ]

My dear, you must listen
and do exactly as we say,

or that pretty face of yours
won'’t be pretty anymore,
understand?

Yes.

Well, now, if you'’ll fix us up
with the best meal you can make,

we'’ll all be good friends.

[ huffs ]

My dear,

your husband has
terrible taste in whiskey.

[ food sizzling in pan ]

[ sputters ]

[ sighs ]

BEAUMONT:
Coffee ready yet?

Not quite.

Mr. Beaumont,
this ain'’t gonna be
much of a meal,

but I got some beans
growing out yonder
I could fix up if you'’d like.

Well, that sounds very pleasant,
indeed, my dear.

Just to make sure that you
don'’t do anything foolish
like trying to run away,

uh, Clegg will go with you
to help you pick '’em.

[ laughs ]
Delighted, my dear.

And I'’ll take this along
in case we get thirsty.

How about you, Beau?Oh, no, thank you.

I'’ll wait for the coffee.[ chuckles ]

[ laughing ]

[ laughing ]

Ahh!

[ coughs ]

You know, honey, uh,
Mr. Beaumont'’s a mighty bad man.

Be kind of smart
if you'’d be friendly with me.

Why is that?

Well...
[ chuckles ]

I-- I could protect you
if I felt like it,
if you'’re nice to me.

Mr. Clegg,
you couldn'’t protect me
from a mean-tempered jackrabbit.

Why, you...

Watch out.
Your whiskey'’s spilling.

Aw...

Well, that was
real cute, honey.

Now I think I'’ll have
a couple of kisses
to make up for it.

Stop struggling!

Ohh! Oh, you little--Clegg, let her go!

But she--I said let her go!

You could stand a bath,
but I intend to drink
some of that coffee.

Go ahead and finish
preparing dinner, my dear.

[ coughs ]

[ coughing ]

[ coughs ]

[ coughs ]

Now, Harve, one more stop,
and we head for home.

We oughta be there
by suppertime.Suits me.

Your missus sure has a way
with beans and sow belly. Mm!

Yeah. I hope she made out
all right alone.

[ grunts ]

Aah, she probably didn'’t
even know you was gone.

No, not Sage.
She'’s helpless without
a man around to think for her.

Yeah, maybe so.
But she don'’t need nobody

to tell her how to brew
a right dandy cup of coffee.

Yeah. Well,
that she does,

and with no help.

[ grunts ]
Giddyap!

[ food sizzling ]

Ahh! That'’s wonderful
coffee, my dear.

Wonderful.
More, please.

Mr. Clegg?No. No more for me.

Hey, dinner about ready?

Good beans take time.
I'’m fixing yours real special.

How about some of
that light bread
while we'’re waiting?

Catch.

I'’m sorry.
You want a knife?

[ together ]
No!

Forget about the knife,
my dear.

Mm. That'’s just
about right.

Gentlemen,

I think this is gonna be
a meal you'’re gonna remember.

Well, if it'’s as good
as your coffee...

[ clicks ]

Eat hearty, boys.
You got a lot of work to do.

I'’m not gonna eat this slop.

[ gunshot ]

Darned old pistol
always did shoot high.

High?

All right, now, gentlemen.

Just put those temptations
on the table.

Let me have your guns.

You first, Mr. Fancy-Pants.

On the table.

Come on.

That'’s a good boy.
Now, Mr. Clegg,

put your gun on the table.

Obey her, you fool.
She'’s crazy enough to shoot.

Guess I'’ll just have to.

Uh, no, wait. I...

[ mutters ]

There.

Thank you.
Now let me have your knife.

Thank you.

I would'’ve hated
to have to spoil your dinner.

[ door opens ]

Surely you don'’t expect us
to actually eat this mess?

Oh, yes, I do.
Every last smidgeon of it.

And, Mr. Clegg,
you just divide it up.

Half and half
on each plate.

[ lock clicking ]

Oh, it ain'’t gonna
bother you, boys.

It'’s just
a little sow belly,

beans and dyed dockweed,

flavored with a little soap
and castor oil.

It'’ll do you
a world of good.

Mrs. Madison,
we can'’t eat this.

Mr. Beaumont,
you clean up that plate.

Now, I'’ll take it as an insult
if you don'’t.

And mad as I am,

you wouldn'’t wanna go
insulting my cooking?

No, boys.

You wouldn'’t wanna do that.

[ coughs ]

Ahh. Well, that'’s it,
Harve boy.

Now what'’s the matter,
Dave?

Oh, it'’s probably nothing,
but it just crossed my mind.

If Sage did need that gun,
she'’d probably be scared
to use it.

You never taught her
to shoot?

Oh, yeah, I tried,
but she'’s scared
to death of guns.

Can'’t stand
any kind of violence.

Aw, I guess
everything'’s all right.
Let'’s hightail her for home.

Giddyap.Come on. Giddyap.

No, no, no.
Not like that.

Come on. Scrub.
You gotta put your back into it.

I can'’t, Mrs. Madison.

I'’m too sick.[ coughing ]

You'’ll be a lot sicker.
Go on. Scrub.

[ gasps ]
Ooh.

[ coughing continues ]

That'’s right.
That'’s the way to do it.

[ coughing continues ]

You'’re looking
a might poorly fella.

Maybe I oughta just...[ clicks ]

Oh, no.

No, I-I-I'’m-- I'm fine.

I-I-- I'’m fine.

Good. That'’s right.

That'’s what it takes
to get a washing clean--

plenty of soap and hard work.[ both breathing heavily ]

A joke is a joke,
but this is inhuman.

We can'’t work
in this condition.

Wanna bet your life on it?

Please, Mrs. Madison.
Please let us go.

I told you we have money.
We'’ll pay for any damages.

My dears, you are paying.

Go on. Get back
to your scrub board,
you imitation villain.

Shoo! Go on! Go on!

Ooh!But I--

Now, you just hush.
Pick up the clothesline,
fix it.

Then I want you
to hang up the clean clothes.

When you get through with that,
I think you'’d just better
spell the scrubwoman a bit.

She'’s looking
a might poorly.

You know, boys,
I don'’t think ya eat right.

Scrub. Come on. Scrub.

[ coughing ]

Aw, come on, Mr. Clegg.
You can do better than that.

This is inhuman.

That'’s right.
Tie it up.

Come on, boys. Mush.[ groaning ]

[ coughing ]

Ohh...
[ grunts ]

All right.
It'’s finished.
Now can we go?

Now, you gentlemen don'’t wanna
be riding off till you do
the rest of your chores.

You still got
the cabin to do.

The cabin?

Well, now, it ain'’t
gonna take long,

two big strong fellas
like you.

[ kicks thudding ]Oh, no! No!

Mr. Beaumont,
you know something?
It just struck me.

I don'’t think
you two gentlemen
are in the right profession.

I don'’t think you're cut out
to be big, bad men.

You ain'’t got
the stomach for it.

All right. Come on.

Only way with chores
is to get '’em on with.

On your feet.

No.

[ gun clicks ]I refuse.

I'’m not going to do
another thing.
No.

No. We'’re not gonna
do nothing no more.

Nothing.

Real cooked food, fun.

You had to hit her.

No. Uh-uh.

Well, it ain'’t good,
but it ain'’t bad.

I guess you all are done.
You can go now.

Hold it.

Now what?

You ain'’t gonna run off
without paying me
for that good food?

[ together ]
Food?

Be a dollar apiece.
Just put it on the table.

Not so fast.

That'’ll be another dollar
for all that whiskey.

Now?Just run along.

Any time you boys get hungry,
you come back.

Bye, boys.

Sage, doggone it,
you mean to tell me that you--
that they--

that all by yourself, you--Oh, Dave, now, come on.

Quit your fussing.
No harm'’s done.

Yeah, but they--
I mean, did they try to--

Well, I think they
kind of had that in mind.

But, you know,
the funny thing is,

they just forgot all about it
after they ate.

Yeah, well,
that ain'’t no surprise.
That must'’ve been some meal.

Only, Sage, look, that--
that was dangerous,

keeping them around here
like that.

Now, why didn'’t you
just run '’em off?

Well, they made me mad.

Two big grown outlaws like that
trying to push me around

just '’cause I was
a helpless female.

[ laughing ]

For the men who lived
in the Black Hills of Dakota,

the story of Sage Madison
had a very practical moral:

No matter how hungry you got,

it just didn'’t pay
to mess around with a Sage Hen.

See you next week
when we recount another story
of the Old West.