Original subtitles

♪ [ trumpet ]

As the West was being tamed, the people were thrilled

by the hundreds of dime novels that were written

about their favorite Western heroes.

Thus much of our Western lore is the product

of the imagination of a few writers,

one of whom was a man named Edward L. Wheeler,

who created the most amazing hero of all

and caused...

I'’ve had all of you I can take!

Now get outta here and get lost!

Ten years ago, I'’d have baptized you in that horse trough.

Don'’t give me any ideas.

It'’s a good thing my friend Kit Carson ain'’t here to see this.

He'’d have waxed your wagon pretty!

Ugh...

Uh, I'’ll take my business elsewhere.

Trouble, Hughie?

No, Mayor. He ain'’t a bad sort really.

He just keeps coming in my place

telling the wildest, tallest yarns you ever heard.

Then an argument starts, and the fight'’s on.

I don'’t think I know him.Nobody does.

He lives in a shack back in the hills somewhere.

Just comes into town to brag and shoot off his face.

Say, is that meeting still on?

Yeah, we'’d better get over there, or we'’ll be late.

Morning, Sheriff.Morning, Mayor.

Frank. I guess we all know why we'’re here.

Just for the record, I'’m going to ask Hughie to explain

why he asked for this special meeting.

This problem we got-- it gets worse with every stage that stops here.

First thing people wanna know when they get off the stage is, "Where is Deadwood Dick?"

Had three of those travelers in my office yesterday.

When I told them there wasn'’t any Deadwood Dick, they called me a liar.

Yesterday afternoon, a man and his wife stopped in my place

looking for Deadwood Dick.

Said they traveled over 200 miles out of their way

just to get his autograph and buy him some champagne.

I sure missed that sale.Well, I have a suggestion.

Why don'’t we just put up a sign at the stage depot

saying there is no Deadwood Dick--

except in the mind of that writer, Wheeler,

that publishes the stories about him.

That would make the travelers madder.

I'’ll tell you one thing, the problem'’s gonna get worse

the more books this Wheeler writes.

The town of Deadwood is gonna make a lot of enemies

and lose a lot of money in trade.

Well, let'’s face it, friends. We are Deadwood.

You'’re the law, banker,

you own the hotel and half the town.

Sort of gives us the right to take steps.

Will you get to the point, Ev?

All right. What hurts Deadwood hurts us.

And right now, no Deadwood Dick is hurting business bad.

That'’s our problem. But what'’s our answer to it?

I thought I made a suggestion.

We simply put up a sign saying there is no Deadwood Dick.

Frank, we want to make them happier, not madder.

That'’s right.

What if the real Deadwood Dick were to meet the stages?

"Real Deadwood Dick"? Who are you talking about?

The biggest bragger and liar in the Dakotas,

the man you just threw out of your saloon.

He could play Deadwood Dick.

Are you crazy?

You mean that moth-eaten old blowhard?

EV: Just the man for the part.

I refuse to go along with such a dishonest cheat.

Oh, come on, Frank. Let'’s not be holier than thou.

What'’s wrong with giving people what they want?

It'’s lying, Ev. It'’s living a falsehood.

You know, it seems to me

that we'’d be doing the citizens a public service.

And you, the representative of law and order.

Let'’s take a vote. I know how you feel, Frank, you, Sheriff.

And I think you all know how I feel, so, uh,

Hughie, it'’s up to you.

I guess I just got no moral character at all.

I say okay. What have we got to lose?

It'’s carried then. Thank you all for attending.

Now, you know what my wife will say to all this.

Oh, yes, yes, because she'’s my sister,

and I put up with her for years.

Financial gains that come through a lie

are ill-gotten and woe to Deadwood.

You'’ve done very well with your bank.

Besides, she isn'’t going to hear about it

because you'’re not gonna tell her, Frank, dear brother-in-law.

How do you know this character that you'’re hiring

won'’t double-cross you and blackmail you?

Now, isn'’t it kind of funny that you always think of things like that?

Maybe we can find the old codger before he leaves town.

Hope he'’s still around.

I didn'’t say the men had to believe it.

He'’s still around.[ chuckles ]

We'’ll talk to him, Sheriff.

Come on, Hughie.

Now, don'’t get excited.

I'’m shaking the dust of this town off my feet as fast as I can.

Mister, I'’m the mayor here,

and we'’d like to talk to you.

I don'’t care what he says.

I ain'’t done nothing.Of course you ain'’t.

It'’s just like I was saying to the mayor here. We'’ve got an idea.

Any ideas you got about me is wrong.

They'’re just rumors, that'’s all. Just pure rumors.

You don'’t understand.

We were wondering if, uh-- if you'’d consider being Deadwood Dick.

Uh, "Deadwood Dick"?

You know, the character in the books.Yeah.

Well, we thought you might like to be Deadwood Dick.

Uh, you fellas got something figured out?

We'’ll buy you clothes.

Hughie here will make you a guest at his hotel.

Is that right?That'’s right.

Well, now, that sounds legitimate.

How do you like that brand?

I'’d... [ sniffs ]

I'’d forgot about them.

[ sniffs ]

Now, uh, l-let me get this straight.

All I gotta do is dress and act like Deadwood Dick,

and I, uh-- I live free?

Sure, you will. You'’ll meet all the stages,

and the passengers will be just begging

to buy you steaks and champagne.

By the way, do you have a handgun?

Well, yeah.

It'’s broke, but I could get it fixed.

Oh, no. No. Don'’t bother.

And remember, we didn'’t ask you your real name.

Oh, I ain'’t never told nobody around here my real name, because, uh...

Well, I'’ll tell you fellas--

No. No. If you have some personal reason, please don'’t bother--

No, no. We might as well get it straight

right off'’n the bat, because, uh...

Well, I ain'’t told nobody afore '’cause it might appear like I was bragging.

My real name is...

Deadwood Dick.

[ both snickering ]

You'’re gonna do just fine.

♪♪ [ piano ][ laughter, chatter ]

May I have your attention? ♪♪ [ piano stops ]

Fellow citizens, I have wonderful news.

This man standing here has been a man of mystery to us for some time.

But the truth has finally come to light.

He can no longer conceal his identity.

This man standing with us today,

as he will be from now on,

is none other than the one and only Deadwood Dick.

[ cheering ]

Now, the next round of drinks

will be on Deadwood Dick in person.

Speech, speech, speech![ cheering ]

Oh, no, no...Go ahead, Dick.

[ grunts ]

[ laughter ]

Well, thank you, one and all.

I want you to know that this is the proudest moment of my life.

My only regret is that my dear friends

Wild Bill Hickok and Calamity--

uh, thank you--

...and Calamity Jane can'’t be here to share this moment with me.

Why, if I'’d have been here on that hot summer afternoon

when the hand of the assassin cut down my friend,

Wild Bill would be sta--

Thank you.

Ahh. Where was I?

Uh, uh, Wild Bill was, uh--

Oh, oh. Wild Bill would be standing

right here with me at this very moment.

I was just saying to my friend...

Buffalo Bill, last winter,

"We that lead the dangerous life never know

when we'’re going to have to face the coward'’s bullet in our back."

Why, if Billy the Kid had taken my advice,

he'’d be riding the ranges of Lincoln County today...

instead of pushing up

his lovely daisies.

Oh, excuse me. Take the rest of it.

Welcome. Welcome to Deadwood.

Now, there'’s gonna be autographs for everybody.

We'’ll move from here right over to the Deadwood Bar and Grill.

It'’s nice and cool in there, and they got real cool drinks.

Nice to meet you.Nice to meet you.

Old Buffalo Bill and me,

we'’d been trailing Sitting Bull and a few braves for about--

uh, for about two moons.

Where we was out there, we was out of water, we was out of food.

We didn'’t have a thing. And if I hadn'’t have strangled Black Bear with--

thank you-- with these two hands,

we wouldn'’t have had a thing to eat for a month or more.

Well, Buffalo Bill

was always fair and square with the Indians.

You see, the Indians once owned all this country.

And then when gold was discovered out here,

why, the white man just come in anyway

and took it away from the Indians

and drove them away from his home, and everything like that.

As a matter of fact, Buffalo Bill and me

considered very seriously of going to Washington

and having a visit with the president about this injustice.

[ stagecoach approaching ]And we was--

Uh-oh. Here comes the stage. [ laughs ]

Evening, Bessie, Frank. Sorry I'’m late. I was a little busy.

Listening to a pack of lies about Buffalo Bill, no doubt.

I see you'’ve told my sister a little secret.

My husband has no secrets hidden from me.

And I heard that old fake of yours talking today.

I warned you, Ev, not to indulge in deceit,

and I considered it my duty to inform my wife.

It was all settled in council by vote.

BESSIE: It'’s more than deceit.

That dreadful old windbag

is filling our children with nonsense

about our people stealing this land from the Indians.

It'’s-- It's unpatriotic.

It'’s also a fact, and it'’s one of the reasons Frank here now owns a bank.

[ clears throat ]If you hope to make Deadwood

a decent, respectable place,

you are certainly going about it in the wrong way,

and I'’m getting up a petition

to remove that dreadful old Deadwood--

whatever you call him-- from our streets.

Frank... [ door closes ]

there'’s a saying that blood is thicker than water.

But it'’s gotta thin out if it gets hot enough.

And mine'’s boiling.

[ knock on door ]

Come in.

Howdy, Mayor. Look at these flowers

the kids picked for me this morning.

I tell you, I nearly cried.

Sit down, Dick.

Well, what'’s the matter?

Uh, here it is, Dick.

Some of the town'’s leading busybodies,

headed by my own lovely sister,

they'’ve decided that you'’re no longer wanted in Deadwood.

I ain'’t done nothing to hurt nobody.

What about the council'’s vote?

All our wives'’ names are on that petition.

We haven'’t got a chance.

All right, Mayor.

I'’ll go.

Before I leave,

there'’s something I want to get off my chest.

You'’ve done more for me than you'’ll ever know.

You see, my name is Richard Clark,

and I came out here to hide that name

because I was--

I was running away from being a coward.

There was a showdown with a man, and I ran.

That'’s why I lied,

bragged,

carried on that way '’cause...

I was covering up.

Then you made me Deadwood Dick.

A writer named Edward L. Wheeler made you that.

It don'’t matter.

I am Deadwood Dick.

And for the first time in my life, I'’m--

I'’m somebody.

I'’ll be eternally grateful to you for that.

Luck to you, Dick. [ knock on door ]

Come in.

Mayor Morley?Yes?

The name'’s Bishop. Hal Bishop.

What can I do for you, Mr. Bishop?

I represent Colonel William Frederick Cody,

generally known as Buffalo Bill.

I'’m looking for a man named Deadwood Dick.

Well, he just went down--Dick...

I, uh, guess you'’re looking for me.

I'’m Deadwood Dick.

So that'’s it, gentlemen.

Buffalo Bill will pay $5,000 a year

and all expenses for the services

of Deadwood Dick in his Wild West Show.[ laughing ]

At them prices, I can afford to get one of these that really shoots.

[ laughs ] Mr. Bishop, I accept.

Fine. There'’s an eastbound stage late tomorrow afternoon.

I hope you can make it with me.

Wild horses couldn'’t keep me off of that stage.[ laughing ]

Me either. I'’ve seen Deadwood.

[ laughter ]

[ door opens, closes ]

Imagine that.

Well, Dick, you never know when the lightning will strike.

Me, starring in the show with Buffalo Bill.

So, you see, Dick'’s leaving anyway.

And your efforts to protect the town'’s young minds

were completely wasted.It'’s not over yet.

Once that old fake of yours gets with Buffalo Bill,

he'’ll be in the eyes of the entire nation.

And when the truth is told,

as it is bound to be,

think of the disgrace to Deadwood

and Frank and especially my brother!

I simply can'’t understand how you can do this to us!

Uh, now, now, dear.

I think I know a way to get us off the hook.

I'’ll just leak a story to the paper that the man

is not who he claims to be.

You do that and I'’ll print a retraction

that will make fools of both of you.

Ev, I own the mortgage to that paper,

and I'’ll see to it that they never print that retraction of yours.

You'’d deliberately ruin a man'’s life,

his chance to be a star with Buffalo Bill?

Before he deliberately ruins ours!

That'’s ridiculous.

Is it? Well, what do you think Buffalo Bill will say

when he finds out the man he'’s hired is an impostor!

If you two worthy citizens will keep your mouths shut,

he won'’t learn about it.

There she is.

Funny how they all look alike, eh?

Yeah.

I always hate to work on an empty stomach.

I could use a little something to cut the dust in my throat.

Let'’s go.

Drink hearty, everyone,

It'’s on that great American, Colonel William F. Cody,

affectionately known to millions as "Buffalo Bill."

[ cheering ]

Friends, saying good-bye to the good citizens

of Deadwood, I want you to know

that I'’m leavin' my heart here behind.

And one day, I'’m gonna come right back

to this very place and claim it!

[ cheering ]

Any bit of you, any of ya

ever happen to cross my path while I'’m doing

the Buffalo Bill show, I want you to step right up to me

and say, "Deadwood? We had a drink with you

the day you left our fair city.

Deadwood Dick.He don'’t look particularly dangerous.

Yeah, them'’s the worst kind.

You know, I read a book about him once.

It was sure exciting.

I read one about Buffalo Bill.

There was a doozy.Yeah, but that'’s Deadwood Dick.

[ cheers ]

Maybe we better forget that drink.

Yeah.

Well, friends, Ev-- the Mayor,

has got a few, fond farewell words for me.

I'’m gonna have to leave you.

Ah. See you, Edgar.

[ laughs ] Get along, Dick.

[ knocking ]Come in.

Hughie said you wanted to talk to me before I left.

We'’ve still got a problem, Dick.

Your sister?And her husband. I--

I don'’t know exactly how to tell you this--

Ev, two strangers just stuck up the bank.

They'’re holding Frank hostage, and the sheriff'’s been shot pretty bad.

You better get some help out there real fast. He can'’t hold out much longer.

Be right there.

Where are you going?Well, I'’m going with you.

There'’s two killers out in that street.

Ain'’t you forgetting something?

I'’m Deadwood Dick![ groans ]

[ clicks ]

[ shots continue ][ winces with pain ]

Hughie, get the doctor.

No, no. Stay undercover and get help fast.

I got them pinned down, away from their horses.

Hold your fire, Sheriff!

Or we'’ll come out using this man as a shield!

He can'’t shield you both.

I'’ll get one of you, for sure.

Ev. Ev, get me some bullets.

My gun ran empty. My gun? Where is it?

Dick grabbed it and ran off. It was empty.

Oh, no.

Poor fool, he'’s trying to be what he'’s supposed to be.

[ gunfire continues ]

[ whispers ] Look!

Wait a minute. The sheriff'’s stopped firing.

Let'’s get out of here.

Come on, mister, I could still use you.

Come on!

All right, mister. Drop that gun afore I give you what Curly Bill got.

[ revolver clatters ]Now the bag.

All right, you yellow coyote,

get over here and untie Mr. Brenner.

Easy.

He did it!

It'’s all over! He did it! Deadwood Dick did it!

Help him to the doctor'’s. You all right?Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Come on, boys!

Dick, that was an act of sheer, raw courage.

Here are your prisoners, Mayor.

And, uh, Mr. Brenner, over yonder'’s your money.

I hope they didn'’t rough you up too much.

Stage leaves in one hour! Drink hearty! On the house!

Uh, uh, come you men. Take these prisoners over to lock them up!

Didn'’t you have a little story for the paper?

Yes, I have. It'’s all about how Deadwood Dick

saved my life![ laughing ]

Well, Mr. Brenner? Did you get your money back in the bank?

It'’s all safe and sound!Thanks to Deadwood Dick.

Sheriff'’s gonna be all right. And he says

to drink hearty to Deadwood Dick.

[ loud cheering ]

Frank! I heard something terrible happened to you.

It did! Bessie, I want you to meet

the bravest man I ever knew--

Deadwood Dick. Madam.

Well, I guess I'’ll be going. It was nice-- [ mutters ]

And no more drinks for you!

Fill '’er up again! Bird can'’t fly on one wing!

[ laughing uproariously ]

Stage leaving in five minutes, everybody!

Well, that'’s it.

You'’re gonna be all right, Frank.

[ laughing ] Mr. Bishop?

Yes? We'’re both men of the world,

but I-I think it'’s only fair to tell you

where Dick came from.I know, Mr. Mayor.

You do?From the pen of a writer named Edward L. Wheeler?

[ chuckles ] But if Buffalo Bill knew about this--

Mr. Mayor, do you know where "Buffalo Bill" came from?

No.From the pen of a writer named Ned Buntline.

As you said, Mr. Mayor,

We'’re both men of this world. [ laughs ]

Shall we go?Yes. [ laughs ]

Now, Carl, you be a good boy.

All right, carriage up!All right, folks, say farewell to the hero!

Leaving to join Buffalo Bill'’s Wild West Show.

It'’s farewell, friends, but not good-bye.

Dick. I don'’t know how to ask you this,

but I promised Arnie I'’d try.

Well, Ev, you know me. Anything at all.

Just name it.Well, Arnie says he'’d feel real proud

if you'’d ride shotgun with him.

Yeah.

Well, I guess it would feel a lot safer

with me up there in the box with him!

[ laughter, applause ]

Hyah![ cheering ]

Deadwood Dick toured the world with Buffalo Bill.

Eventually, he returned to his beloved Black Hills,

and when he died in 1929,

the citizens of Deadwood blasted him a grave

in the rock, and buried him there.

Truly a legend of his time, and a memorable figure

in the great history of the West.

Next week, another true story of the people who made the West.

See you then.