Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:08,240
Wahey!
Wahey!
2
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:11,480
Oh, my God!
Oh-ho, that's fantastic!
3
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:16,720
Ah...
4
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:20,440
Wow.
5
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,000
It's so peaceful, isn't it?
6
00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:25,280
Argh! Oh, stupid canvas prick!
7
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,920
HE GROANS
8
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,440
Why are all these poles
different sizes?!
9
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,720
What's the matter, Dad?
Can't get it up?
10
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,120
SHE CLEARS THROAT
Mm...
11
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,120
Oh, my God, that was a joke.
12
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,080
Really wish I hadn't said that.
13
00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:41,400
Here we go, then, Paul.
14
00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:42,880
Look at this.
15
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,240
Woo!
16
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,200
I mean, that is a lot easier, Dad.
17
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,600
That's the two-second tent
for ya!
18
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,640
Told you you should've got one.
19
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:56,200
Yeah, Dad's old one's just fine, OK?
It's a classic, if anything.
20
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,400
Right, come on everyone,
shake a leg.
21
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,080
Uh, we need to hit Falkirk, so...
22
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:02,680
Yeah, OK,
I'll be ready in a minute.
23
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,200
How are the toilets, Robin?
Fine, before I came along.
24
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:06,400
Urgh...
25
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,400
No bog roll, though. Oh, no.
Mm. What did you do?
26
00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:12,120
Well, luckily, I had some Panini
football stickers in my coat,
27
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,800
so I've just been besmirching the
faces of the current Chelsea squad.
28
00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:17,320
I quite enjoyed it, actually.
29
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:18,640
Cool...
30
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:22,120
Now, can everyone look out
for a capercaillie?
31
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:23,720
A cap of what?
32
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:28,600
Capercaillie. It's like a big,
black, Scottish type of turkey.
33
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,680
No, we shan't be doing that.
34
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:32,560
This is not a turkey-watching
holiday.
35
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,600
If you want to go on one of those,
I suggest you book
36
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,720
a mini-break at Bernard Matthews'
factory farm.
37
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:38,240
Rach. Um...
38
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:40,240
Well, I can set
my wildlife camera, Granny,
39
00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:41,480
if you want, while we're out.
40
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,760
Aw, thank you, Sammy, love.
That'd be lovely.
41
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:48,160
Rach? Mm...
We... We really need to...
42
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,560
Yes, OK. Come on, everyone,
let's go to...
43
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:53,840
Falkirk.
Falkirk!
44
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,800
Argh! Oh, Ugh!
45
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:04,680
Is there a Millets?
Cos we're going to need a new tent.
46
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:06,200
Ah, brilliant...
47
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,760
Go on, Dad. Go on.
48
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:14,680
Hello and welcome
to my masterpiece.
49
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,200
Yes, look, there it is,
50
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,920
my European holiday
destination calculator,
51
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,400
with colour-coded ribbons here
for each country,
52
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:29,000
and pros and cons,
so that we can choose where to go.
53
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:30,560
Here's France, right here.
54
00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:33,960
Under pros, we have vineyards,
of course.
55
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:38,440
And under cons, we have waiters.
Very rude waiters in France.
56
00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:39,640
Germany.
57
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,480
Under pros here we have crime,
cos it's got a very low crime rate,
58
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,840
and under cons, we've got heat,
because it's not very hot.
59
00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:47,520
DOORBELL RINGS
Doorbell!
60
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,960
That makes sense, doesn't it?
61
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,000
Dad, you've put concentration camps
under pros!
62
00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,880
Well, yeah,
as in places to visit, not as in...
63
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,080
I'm not pro-concentration camps,
Sam.
64
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,080
Doorbell! One of you!
I'll get it.
65
00:02:58,160 --> 00:02:59,720
I'll cross it out,
I'll cross it out.
66
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,080
There's L plates on the car.
67
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,160
Yeah, I know. Hiya, Granny.
68
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,880
And the foxes have been back.
69
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:08,440
Oh, God! Really?
70
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,160
Oh, yeah. God!
SAM CHUCKLES
71
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:14,400
Oh, why don't they actually eat any
of it? They're fussier than we are!
72
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,920
Well, maybe they don't like
your cooking either, Rachel.
73
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,200
Yeah!
74
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,040
What..?
Hey, that's great news, Amy.
75
00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:22,880
Aw, thanks, Granny.
76
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,080
Wha-What's that, sorry?
77
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:30,200
Well, learning to drive. Showing
a bit of get up and go, finally.
78
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,120
Hiya, Maya, love.
Hiya.
79
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,640
No, I'm not doing that.
80
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,560
No, that's, uh, that's me, actually.
81
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,400
Yeah, Amy can hardly get up,
let alone go.
82
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,360
AMY LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY
You? You're learning to drive?
83
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:41,720
Yes.
84
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,680
Well, I thought you'd given that up
85
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,160
after you hit that cyclist in
the late '90s.
86
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,520
Oh, my God, did you?
87
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,440
No, no, not with the car.
88
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,760
No, with my hand.
89
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,360
An open fist!
90
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,520
We had an argument about right
of way,
91
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:59,520
and, you know, I just...I just
get very tense at the wheel.
92
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,320
Tense? Tense? It's like being
in a car with Nicolas Cage.
93
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,600
I'm not taking you out again,
I can't face it.
94
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,440
Well, what's brought this on,
anyway?
95
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,480
OK, right. Well, um...
HE CHUCKLES
96
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:14,680
..brace yourself because...I have
decided to train...
97
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,280
..to be a policeman.
98
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,120
Oh, wow!
That's my big news.
99
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,760
Oh, Paul!
Isn't it fantastic? Aw, bless.
100
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:24,760
After the undercover operation
with Robin,
101
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,960
you know,
I just realised...I can do it.
102
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:31,120
You know?
But I do need to be able to drive.
103
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:35,200
Oh, you will be
a wonderful policeman, actually.
104
00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:37,120
Aw, why? Why do you think that, Sue?
105
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,960
Well, he's just so...
Racist?
106
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:43,760
Stop...Stop saying that.
OK? it's genuinely very hurtful.
107
00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:45,920
No, nosey, I was going to say.
108
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:49,400
And you're quite tough, aren't you?
Mm.
109
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,640
Is he? He cut his thumb on an egg.
110
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,160
An eggshell. It can happen.
111
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,760
Yeah, I've never heard
of that happening, to be honest.
112
00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,240
Well, it can happen.
113
00:04:58,320 --> 00:04:59,680
Well, I tell you what, Paul,
114
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,560
I could take you out
in my Peugeot if you want.
115
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:02,960
It's like driving a golf buggy.
116
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,480
Oh, thanks, Maya, yeah,
that'd be great. Thank you.
117
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,560
And what are you going to do
for money, then, Paul,
118
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,880
when you're in police school?
119
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,280
Oh, you're looking at it, Sue.
120
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,120
The Jessop Family Beast of Burden,
121
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,400
off to do my hateful job while this
talking dressing gown loafs around
122
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,280
dreaming up his next career move.
123
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,520
Well, don't be like that, hon!
HE LAUGHS
124
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,080
No, I'm going to take over Amy's job
at the pub
125
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,200
when she's goes to university. So...
126
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,320
Um, when are you going?
127
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,000
Um...
September.
128
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:30,440
September. September?
129
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:31,720
AMY CLEARS THROAT
Yeah.
130
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,240
All right, Sue?
Didn't know you'd come over.
131
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,840
oh, well, I've got people viewing
the house this morning,
132
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,560
and Diane said it'd be better if
I wasn't there for some reason.
133
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:43,880
Right. Have you been mentioning
the ghost?
134
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,200
I have, yeah.
Right.
135
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,840
So, how are you holding up Robin,
after Cheryl?
136
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,000
Yep, well.
137
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,920
Not still crying in the bath,
I hope?
138
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,440
No, no, don't...
HE LAUGHS
139
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,960
No... I'm-I'm fine.
140
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,600
I'm a new man, Sue. I've, uh...
I've bought a Barbour.
141
00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,000
I've had a - you probably can't
tell - full body wax.
142
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:01,800
Wow, really? Yeah. Even your...?
143
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,480
Yep, both of them, both barrels.
144
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,040
You sort of have to, these days,
145
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,480
if you want to get back into
the dating scene, so...
146
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:08,960
Are you going to try Tinder, then?
147
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,440
Uh, try it?
I'm going to complete it, mate!
148
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,520
I'm treating Tinder
like it's Pokemon Go -
149
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,080
gotta catch 'em all!
150
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:18,440
Well, girls, that is, ladies,
that is. Not STDs.
151
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:19,960
Well, good for you, Robin.
152
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,000
Those French campsites won't know
what's hit them.
153
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,400
Well, this is it.
154
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,640
If the tent's a-rocking,
don't come a-knocking,
155
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:27,720
cos you might see something
pretty shocking!
156
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,400
LAUGHTER AND GROANS
157
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,280
Yeah, I wouldn't recommend having
sex in a tent, actually, Robin.
158
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,560
Huh? It can get horribly steamy.
Oh!
159
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:36,560
How would you know?
What?
160
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:37,920
Huh?
Yeah, apparently.
161
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,280
Oh, don't you worry, sis,
I'll be steaming it up all right.
162
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,360
My tent will be whistling away like
a kettle.
163
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,440
I've bought a new tent, as it goes.
164
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:46,600
Keep talking.
165
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,400
A two-second tent, it's called.
It's a pop-up.
166
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,840
Now, you should get one, Paul.
It looks absolutely brilliant.
167
00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,280
Mum, I'm not sleeping in
a pop-up tent
168
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:58,840
for the same reason I won't read
a pop-up book. It's facile.
169
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,120
Anyway, we haven't actually decided
on France, have we?
170
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,720
Oh! Yes, actually,
I was going to say, Paolo,
171
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,360
I've thought of another country
to throw in the mix. Oh, right.
172
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,960
Well, I'm not sure there's enough
room on the map for another.
173
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,480
Have you ever heard of
the phrase "Scotland"?
174
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:12,840
Not really a phrase, is it?
175
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,640
Well, it's really
very beautiful, actually, Amy.
176
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,920
And it's got pros coming out of its
bloody sporran. Right? No!
177
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,840
We're talking, yes, castles...
Yeah.
178
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,240
..whisky distilleries.
179
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,480
Oh, I've always wanted to go
to one of them!
180
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,120
Thank you, Sue. No!
181
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,640
Uh, The Cairngorms. Falkirk!
182
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,560
Which is... I've heard is amazing.
Falkirk?
183
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,120
No, let's go somewhere hot
in actual Europe.
184
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,680
Definitely.
Yes.
185
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,000
Wow.
186
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,000
Wow? In what way?
187
00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,760
Well, it's just amazing, innit?
Yeah. No.
188
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:51,520
With the bookies there, look, and
the traditional bins, I mean, ah...
189
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,520
Are we actually heading somewhere,
Robin,
190
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,080
or are we just strolling around?
191
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:59,040
Yeah, yeah, just a bit further up
is all the good stuff, so let's...
192
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:01,320
Great!
..go up this, up this way.
193
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,880
Wow. Oh, there. And there's
a Royal Bank of Scotland there!
194
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,480
I mean, it's another world,
isn't it?
195
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,040
We have those in England,
Robin.
196
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,960
Where exactly did you hear
about Falkirk being good, Robin?
197
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:15,080
Just uh... Because it seems quite
normal to me,
198
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,880
as in, similar to Bedford.
199
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:22,280
Well, no, this is the site of
a battle, so let's go in.
200
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,680
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on.
201
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,960
Really?
Oh, God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
202
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,960
OK. There might be swords inside,
you know?
203
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:33,960
Just, uh...
204
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:37,760
What battle was it, sorry?
Uh, one of the Braveheart ones.
205
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:40,160
Why are we in...? Why are we here?
206
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,480
Is that Cherry?
What?
207
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:45,600
Is that...?
Robin, is that your Cherry?
208
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:48,440
Oh, my God. Are you serious?
209
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,440
Um... Um...
Yeah. Well...
210
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,320
Um...
Robin, we should probably explain.
211
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,160
A pony? No. No way.
212
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,520
What happened to the horse?
213
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:03,600
If I arrive on a pony, Iain,
I will look enormous!
214
00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:05,880
Oh, my God!
215
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,240
I'll call you back.
216
00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,360
Wow, Cherry,
what are the chances of...?
217
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,920
No, Robin, no way.
No? OK.
218
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,520
I cannot deal right now.
I cannot even deal.
219
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:17,600
What's going on?
I still love you, Chez.
220
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:20,680
One of you, please,
get him out of here.
221
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,120
No, I love you, Chez.
Go on, go on.
222
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:23,640
Just wait, wait.
Wait, wait.
223
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,520
I learnt it for you, Chez. I learnt
the Cubana for you, babe. I did.
224
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,640
Oh, God.
225
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:29,920
Just wait, just wait, just let me...
And I bought a Barbour.
226
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,920
OK, Rach...
What?
227
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,280
Yep, OK. one, two, three,
one, two, three.
228
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:35,640
What's happening?
229
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,880
One, two, three,
one, two, three, one, two, three.
230
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,880
Excuse me.
Well, not now, don't...
231
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,880
Well, that's ridiculous.
232
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,480
I mean...
233
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,600
Robin...
234
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:49,520
I still love you, Chez.
235
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,480
Oh, my God.
236
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,440
Please don't marry him.
237
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,280
-Robin...
-Oh, God.
238
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,280
That's amazing. Look at him.
239
00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,120
Robin...
Thank you, Sue.
240
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,720
..you're embarrassing
yourself, and me.
241
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,720
I still love you.
Everyone, really.
242
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,920
He doesn't love you like
I love you.
243
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,800
I would get you a horse.
A horse?
244
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,480
You know I would.
245
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,280
I would.
246
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,360
I would.
247
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,600
I'd get you a horse.
248
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,760
Sorry, can you stop dancing
now, please, that's enough.
249
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,800
That's enough, sorry. Thank you.
I'm still in the middle of it.
Thank you, stop.
250
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:25,120
And can you stop filming, please.
Don't touch my camera.
251
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,840
Oh, God, not again.
252
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,720
I mean, I could always get
a night-vision wildlife camera,
253
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,080
see how the foxes are actually
getting into the bin.
254
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:34,920
Yeah, I mean, how would that help?
255
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,840
Well, I don't know, but it would
help me.
256
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,880
I've been wanting
to get one of them for a while.
257
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,720
I just don't understand it,
where is the...?
258
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,480
Amy. Amy.
There's a letter from Swansea.
259
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,640
Amy...
Yep.
260
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,280
What are you looking for?
Sunglasses.
261
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:47,880
I'm out driving with Maya,
262
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,440
and I need something
in the event of glare.
263
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:52,760
Is it, uh, where you're living?
264
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,320
Because if you give me the address,
we can look it up on Street View.
265
00:10:56,400 --> 00:11:00,280
No, it's, um, confirmation that
I've given up my place.
266
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:07,920
What? That you've...?
What do you mean?
267
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,040
I've given up my place at Swansea.
268
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,160
What?
269
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,680
A couple of months ago,
when Maya and I weren't talking,
270
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,160
I figured I didn't
want to go there any more.
271
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:19,960
Yeah, yeah, but you and Maya have
sorted it,
272
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,040
so call them, get it back.
Yeah, but I don't want to.
273
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,440
I don't want to just follow Maya
around, I want to do my own thing.
274
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:27,280
Yeah, but do your own thing
at university,
275
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:28,640
while you can.
276
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:32,000
I never got a chance to do that,
Amy. I had to work in a cinema.
277
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,040
Oh, cool!
No, not cool!
278
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:35,480
This was the early noughties -
279
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:37,840
there were some EXTREMELY poor films
being made back then.
280
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:39,400
Well, it's done, Mum, I'm not going.
281
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:43,040
I had to watch Vanilla Sky 14 times.
It was a nightmare.
282
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,280
Paul, are you ready, then?
283
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:46,640
I'm sorry if you're disappointed.
284
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,040
Yep, ready!
285
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,000
All right! Um...
286
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:55,200
Rach, remind me, I need to buy
some sunglasses before the holiday.
287
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,160
Uh, no, no, need.
We're going to Scotland.
288
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,240
What? Scotland?
Mm.
289
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:04,000
But my destination calculator,
that's saying Crete.
290
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,720
I thought you wanted
to go somewhere hot?
291
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:10,320
No, I did, and then I spoke to Robin
about it, and I changed my mind.
292
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,800
OK, all right. Well,
we are talking about this later,
293
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:15,720
because Scotland, Schmotland,
frankly!
294
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,840
Sorry.
All good.
295
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,560
Are you driving into town?
296
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,320
Uh, yeah, can do.
297
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,520
OK, maybe speed up a little bit.
298
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,040
Yeah, it's 20mph
around here, Maya, thank you.
299
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,920
Yeah, I know, but you're
doing...six.
300
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,040
Where's first? It's just...
I can't... It's so far away.
301
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,520
It's a bad design.
It's a bad design.
302
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,440
Let's try an emergency stop.
OK.
303
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:41,640
OK, when I tap the dashboard, OK?
Yep, yep.
304
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,280
OK...
305
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,040
HORN BEEPS, TYRES SCREECH
306
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:50,080
Huh?
Why did you honk?
307
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:53,080
Well, you know, if you if you're
stopping in an emergency, Maya,
308
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,160
it's going to be someone
else's fault,
309
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:59,200
so it's essential that you honk...
in order to tell them off.
310
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,200
Right, here we go.
That wasn't a bad start, was it?
311
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,280
It was OK. Shush.
ENGINE REVS
312
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,080
On your left, Dad! Huh?!
Stop honking!
313
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,000
Oh, where did he come from?
314
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,920
That's a parked car.
You lunatic!
315
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,400
Is it?
316
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:13,520
Look, I really think you need
lessons
317
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,440
from a proper instructor, Paul.
318
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,920
I can't afford them, Maya.
Please, I'm sorry.
319
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,600
I'm listening. I'll do everything
you say from now on.
320
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:24,720
OK, right. Let's do a hill start,
then.
321
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,160
Except that. I can't do them.
322
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,400
OK. OK, then, fine.
Right, good.
323
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:34,720
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Right, so ease off the brake. Yep.
324
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,320
Yep, bring up the clutch.
Uh-huh.
325
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,840
And revs. Accelerator.
326
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,240
ENGINE REVS, WHEELS SCREECH
327
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,040
No, see, I can't.
I can't do this. I can't.
328
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:48,600
I can't drive. This is pointless.
329
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:51,680
PAUL SIGHS
I should just give up.
330
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,480
You know what, I'm just going to
walk to the high street.
331
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,480
Thanks, Sam.
Thanks for the support, buddy.
332
00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:57,800
I'm not risking my life.
333
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,920
No, right, come on, Paul. OK?
Let's try again, yeah?
334
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,440
Engine on.
ENGINE STARTS
335
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:08,760
Bring up the clutch.
Revs.
336
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:12,040
No, brake. Brake... Brake!
HORN BEEPS
337
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:15,280
Paul, stop honking! No, brake! Paul!
338
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:19,040
Hands on the wheel!
Hands on the wheel! Stop honking!
339
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,560
I mean, why didn't you tell us?
340
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,120
Because you wouldn't have agreed
to it.
341
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:29,280
So what? You trick us into going to
Scotland, then? Great!
342
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:30,960
You didn't tell me
you'd quit university
343
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:33,200
and he didn't tell me he'd given up
learning to drive.
344
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,840
Since when do we tell each other
anything in this family?
345
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,480
So, Cherry's getting married
in Scotland, is she?
346
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,920
Yes, Mum. Keep up!
347
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:45,960
HE SIGHS
348
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,960
What did you think was going to
happen, Robin? Huh?
349
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:56,480
I guess I thought I'd do the dance
and then we'd scoop her up,
350
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,280
you know, take her with us.
351
00:14:58,360 --> 00:14:59,520
Graduate style.
352
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,120
I mean, it's genuinely mad.
353
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,040
It's romantic, actually.
354
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,480
You wouldn't understand.
355
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,480
OK, I've got a great idea.
356
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,440
Why don't we all go to a distillery?
Definitely.
357
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,520
Oh, yeah. OK, Mum,
that's a great idea.
358
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,840
You know, let's just take this
heartbroken,
359
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:22,920
highly addictive blancmange
of a man
360
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,400
to a whisky wholesalers the day
before his ex-girlfriend's wedding.
361
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:27,680
Yeah, OK!
362
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,320
Well, I for one, need a drink.
Yeah, me too.
363
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:37,680
Yep.
Go on, pick a tent, quickly.
364
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,640
All right.
365
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,960
Oh, Robin. Oh...
366
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,760
Found anything interesting?
367
00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:50,840
This viaduct was in Harry Potter.
Oh!
368
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,240
You?
Ah, yeah, just that one.
369
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,000
You want to do an historic tour of
the University of Glasgow?
370
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:58,960
Uh, no, I just...
371
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:02,120
Well, I thought you might
want to see it while we're here.
372
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,720
Talk to someone about applying.
Don't start this again, Mum.
373
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:06,560
Just think about it.
I have thought about it.
374
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:08,320
Think about it a bit more, then.
375
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,160
I don't want you
to end up like me, OK?
376
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:12,960
AMY SCOFFS
Yeah, and nor do I.
377
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,040
I'm completely with you on that.
378
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,160
If you're not happy
with where you've ended up, Mum,
379
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,520
that's on you.
380
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,120
Don't put that on me.
381
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:21,440
I'm not...
382
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,120
I'm not... Ugh...
383
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,520
Welcome to Balhousie, everyone!
384
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,080
HE STRAINS
385
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,480
OK. Who's on my four o'clock?
386
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:47,080
It's then finished in vintage
oloroso sherry casks
387
00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,840
from Montilla-Moriles, in Spain.
388
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:54,360
We like to say it's like
having your throat gently licked.
389
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,880
Blimey!
390
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:59,640
I mean, that is a ridiculously
short kilt, isn't it?
391
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,720
Looks like Britney Spears.
392
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,120
Sh! No, it doesn't.
I think it really suits him.
393
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,360
Well, of course you do.
394
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:08,120
I mean, any shorter,
and you'd be able to see his caber.
395
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,800
Anyone like to give it a try?
396
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,280
Yes, please, boss. Over here.
397
00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:16,640
Yeah, just, a dram for this man,
a wee dram.
398
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,320
A wee dram from the big yin, eh?
399
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,960
And can I tempt you ladies?
Ah, yes, you certainly can.
400
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,200
Oh, yeah, lovely.
You certainly can, thank you.
401
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:26,840
And me, thanks. I'm not a lady,
but I'm also here, thank you.
402
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,200
Thank you, mate, cheers.
403
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,480
Oh... Oh, that's lovely and strong.
404
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:35,200
Ah, strong but also delicate,
with a really good body.
405
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,840
It has got incredible body, yes.
Well spotted.
406
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,720
Thanks. Uh...?
Uh, Rachel. Rachel.
407
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,880
Not many people pay attention
to body.
408
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,320
Oh, I do.
Yeah, I'm very body conscious.
409
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,760
Urgh! Ah, yuck.
No, that's not for me, that.
410
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,280
Tastes of Listerine, if anything.
411
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:53,520
I love it. I love it.
412
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,760
OK. This way, then, please.
Urgh!
413
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,080
Follow on, guys.
414
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,840
Can I get a bit... Horrible.
..more in?
415
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,680
What are you doing?
Sorry, what was that?
416
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,240
Why are you filming everything?
417
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:08,640
Um, I'm making a documentary about
the holiday and my family.
418
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,120
Why?
419
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,080
I don't know. I guess it stops them
from talking to me.
420
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,600
Right. Where are you staying?
421
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,760
In the, uh, Cairngl... Cairnglen...
422
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:20,840
Cairngorms? Cairngorms.
Yeah, so are we.
423
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,680
Oh, right, well we should, uh...
424
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,320
Are you on Insta or anything?
No, I hate all that.
425
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,960
Yeah, me too.
We're in the big yellow camper van.
426
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,280
OK. Look out for us.
427
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:33,480
Yep. Big yellow camper van.
Will do, thanks. Bye.
428
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:37,080
Ah... Try... try that one again.
OK.
429
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,600
I like it and I plan to buy it,
430
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,960
I just want to check that it's my
favourite. That's no problem.
431
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,440
SUE COUGHS
432
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:45,200
Bloody hell!
You could power a tanker with that.
433
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,600
It is a nudge stronger, yes.
434
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:53,480
And currently, at the mightily
discounted price of 129.99.
435
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,880
OK, OK.
Yeah, we can't afford that.
436
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,720
Yeah, well, it's my money, isn't it?
So it's up to me.
437
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,240
But, yeah, that is a bit much.
438
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:04,680
Or there's our
signature Kilchuaine 10.
439
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:05,840
Oh, wow.
440
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:10,920
This one is flirty and fun,
with a playful peppery,
441
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,120
peaty edge that dances over
your tongue.
442
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:18,080
Peaty? Like peat? As in the soil?
443
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,640
Uh, I see you've found
the shortbreads, then, Paul.
444
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,040
Yeah. Is there...
445
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,360
Is there any compost you're getting
there or hints of manure?
446
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,880
Ah, sorry about him.
He mistakenly thinks he's funny.
447
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,440
Yeah. What?
448
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,880
Mugs. The pair of you. Mugs.
449
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:36,480
Uh... I'm sorry?
450
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:40,360
Well, that bloody
porridge oats man... Oh, God...
451
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,320
..flashes a bit of thigh and you two
get all weak at the knickers
452
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,040
and get your credit cards out.
453
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:47,080
That is not actually true.
454
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:51,840
I really loved the
Kil...Kilch-wain 10.
455
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,800
And it was actually excellent value.
456
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:57,400
It was. Considering all the free
samples he gave us.
457
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,800
Yeah, that's a point.
Are you all right to drive, Mum?
458
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:03,400
Of course. As long as we go slowly.
What? What does that mean?
459
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,080
It means... It means I'm fine.
460
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,280
Are you over the limit?
No, stop it, I'm not, no.
461
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,240
Come on then, Sue.
Crack your one open then.
462
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:14,080
What? No! Get off!
Go on. I only want a dram.
463
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,400
Hands off! No, you're not!
464
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,840
Can you calm down
in the back, please?
465
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,360
Just tell her to share!
Tell her to share, then!
466
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:21,520
TYRES SCREECH, THEY SCREAM
467
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,040
Sorry, sorry. Oh, my God!
Be careful.
468
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:25,160
Can you just please be quiet
in the back, please?
469
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,960
These roads are disgustingly windy.
470
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,600
Sorry.
SIREN WAILS
471
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:31,880
What? Oh.
472
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,480
Po-po, Rach.
I think he wants you to pull over.
473
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,280
I know, I know that.
I know how to drive, remember.
474
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,520
Cool. Oh, great.
Yeah.
475
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,480
OK, we have to swap.
What? Swap?
476
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,960
If he breathalyses me,
we're in quite a lot of trouble.
477
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,280
What? I thought you said
you weren't over the limit?!
478
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:47,720
Yes. Well, I lied!
479
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,800
That hot Scot shit gave me
about 40 glasses of whisky,
480
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,600
so huddle up everyone,
so he doesn't see. Oh, no.
481
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,880
Huddle up. Huddle up together,
please so he can't see.
482
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:58,080
Take the whisky, take the whisky.
Take the shortbread.
483
00:20:58,160 --> 00:20:59,600
Oh... Are you OK? Yeah.
484
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,600
They're getting out.
Paolo, they're getting out.
485
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:03,080
OK, OK, OK. OK. He's coming!
486
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,440
Argh!
487
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,040
Seat belt on.
I mean, this is ridiculous.
488
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,520
Seat belt.
Absolutely ridiculous.
489
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,240
And calm, cool. Cool, cool, cool.
490
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:16,680
KNOCK ON WINDOW, WINDOW LOWERS
491
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,960
Good evening, officer.
How can I help?
492
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:20,800
You were weaving all over the road.
493
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:24,280
Yes. Yes, I was. Um, on purpose,
494
00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:27,320
because I was practising
evasive manoeuvres,
495
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:28,960
as I know you guys have to.
496
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,120
I was, uh, thinking of training to
be a policeman myself.
497
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,800
Have you been drinking, sir?
No, not a sausage, sir.
498
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,600
Licence, please.
499
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,440
Yeah. Um, babe,
have you got my wallet there?
500
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,680
Because uh...
501
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,600
Oh, you know what? I...
502
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:50,120
Oh... I think I've left it in the
hotel. I am so sorry. Honestly.
503
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,840
Step out of the car, please.
504
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,720
Yep. That's easily done.
505
00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:01,840
Thank you.
506
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,080
Oh, cool, he's got one of them.
507
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,800
I mean, I can't believe
he didn't even question
508
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:11,240
that Dad was the driver.
509
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:14,440
Thank God for sexism!
Finally, there's an upside.
510
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:15,840
Yep.
511
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,800
He's coming back, he's coming back.
512
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,520
Hey. Hiya.
513
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,720
Well, that all seems fine.
514
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:32,000
Thank you, officer!
515
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,840
Brilliant, thank you so much.
Honestly, thank you so much, really.
516
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,280
Be careful driving in
these mountain roads, OK?
517
00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:38,920
Yes, will do. And you.
518
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:41,440
Off you go, then.
519
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,000
OK, thank you. Thank you so much.
Thanks again. Cheers.
520
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:50,800
Why is he still there?
Is he still there? Yeah.
521
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,160
What is it?
522
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,600
It's a hill start.
523
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:57,240
Yeah. You can do that, can't you?
524
00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,720
Well, I haven't been able to yet,
no. Oh...
525
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:05,400
And that's without a terrifyingly
dour Scottish policeman watching.
526
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,360
They're still there, Dad.
527
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,760
Oh, come on, you can do it.
528
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:11,240
I believe in you.
529
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,400
OK. OK. Yeah, yeah. OK.
Revs, revs.
530
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,640
Mirror. Yeah. Clutch.
531
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:24,640
Mirror. The biting point.
Yep.
532
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,600
I've got the handbrake.
OK. Off we go.
533
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,280
ENGINE REVS
534
00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:31,480
Ah...
535
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:33,400
Yes! Yes! You've done it!
536
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:34,880
Yes, Dad!
537
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,160
CHEERING
538
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,840
Oh, I'm driving!
539
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,640
I'm a driver!
540
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,920
Oh, you're my hero.
You are my hero.
541
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,920
How's the head this morning, then,
Robin?
542
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,400
Throbbing a bit, yeah.
543
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,080
Urgh...
544
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:57,280
Not exactly two seconds
to put it away again, is it? No.
545
00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:59,680
They don't show you that on
the YouTube video.
546
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,560
I know, it's a bugger.
547
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,840
Can you stop it?
SHE LAUGHS
548
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,440
HE PLAYFULLY CHOMPS
549
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:10,160
OK, come on, everyone. Let's, um...
Let's get packed up, yeah? Yep.
550
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,680
Woo!
Yeah, we're trying.
551
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,520
Amy, wake up.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
552
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:19,160
Come on, darling.
Ooh, yeah!
553
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,160
We're going to have to, um...
554
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,840
..take my tent back like this,
I'm afraid.
555
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:26,320
What do you mean?
Well, no, just...
556
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,400
Well, it won't pop down.
557
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:32,160
So, we might have to, uh, strap it
to the roof of the car.
558
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,120
Oh, God. What, like a snail?
559
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,600
I can get it. I can get it, Sue.
560
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,280
I just need to sort of bend
it into submission.
561
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:39,880
Amy?
562
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:44,320
Oh, you're all... Well done!
Morning.
563
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:49,560
Yeah. Um, can you take me
to Aberdeen ferry terminal, please?
564
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:51,480
Why?
565
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,360
I'm going to Norway.
What?
566
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:55,800
We're going to the Cairngorms.
567
00:24:55,880 --> 00:25:00,360
Yeah, I know, but there are ferries
to Norway, and...I want to go.
568
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,160
For how long?
569
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,240
Don't know. A few weeks. Or months.
570
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,320
I've got some money saved up from
the pub,
571
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,280
so...I'll just see what happens.
572
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:15,560
Amy, you...you haven't
thought this through.
573
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,440
You can't just go to Norway on
a whim. OK.
574
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,000
OK? OK. We're OK with that, are we?
575
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,880
If that's what you want to do,
of course we'll drop you off.
576
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,480
Thank you.
577
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:29,920
Right, bag.
578
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,240
You won't get it in there, Robin.
579
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,240
That's like trying to put
a condom on a Christmas tree.
580
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,480
Just try it. At least try it.
No.
581
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,040
Now, don't let go of that, Robin.
I've got him, Sue.
582
00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:43,320
Love you.
583
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:44,880
I've got him.
584
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,560
Hey, at least I can take some of
your shifts at the pub now, Amy.
585
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:50,400
That's a plus.
Sure, Dad, knock yourself out.
586
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,000
Here you go, look.
587
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,440
What's this, Bilbo?
588
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,320
My wildlife camera caught something
last night.
589
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,280
Oh! Hopefully my capercaillie.
590
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,520
What, um...? When...?
591
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,520
What were you filming last night,
Sam?
592
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,320
Uh, well, it's motion activated,
593
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,120
so it kind of just turns on
on its own.
594
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:12,160
There, look. Oh, yeah.
Holy shit! Are those birds?
595
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:15,120
Don't be silly. They're massive.
That's two people.
596
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,440
Turn it off, please.
Don't watch that, Sam.
597
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,640
Please turn it off. Sam...
I'll turn it up.
598
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:21,760
No, Amy, don't turn it up.
Don't turn it up - turn it off!
599
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,000
Amy, seriously...! Turn it off!
VIBRATION
600
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:26,000
Listen to your mother, please.
No, no, no, no!
601
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,600
That's disgusting. What's that
buzzing? Is that on the video?
602
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,200
Just close your eyes. Oh, no,
it's my phone. Sorry, it's my phone.
603
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,760
Could you fish it out of my pocket?
604
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:34,920
Yeah, well, how do you think you
were made?
605
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:36,120
GROANS ON VIDEO
606
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:40,080
Oh, my Godfathers! You dirty ducks!
That's really disgusting.
607
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,800
Completely natural,
we love each other!
608
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:42,920
Oh, don't make it worse!
609
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,920
Robin, it's Cherry.
610
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,640
Oh, what? Got to get this!
611
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,080
Don't...!
THEY SCREAM
612
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:50,520
Cherry!
613
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,160
Yeah, of course.
614
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,640
I mean, yeah.
615
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:55,880
Oh, me too.
616
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,000
Tie it up properly, Mum, there.
Yeah, I am.
617
00:26:58,080 --> 00:26:59,760
We've got to go on the motorway
with this.
618
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,160
It will be fine.
619
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,120
I'm nervous about it, to be honest.
620
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,400
So, um, I've been thinking...
621
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:11,920
In a good way?
622
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,000
Uh, I think I want to go
to university.
623
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,880
Sorry, I know that's mad,
in some ways,
624
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:24,040
I mean, I'd be part time,
you know, I'll still work.
625
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:27,080
I just want to try something else.
626
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:28,400
I mean, let's face it,
627
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:31,280
I've not exactly been at
my best this last year, have I?
628
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:35,120
Of course you have.
629
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:41,080
Rach...you're the best person
I've ever met.
630
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:44,520
And I've met Mo Farah.
631
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,280
Whatever you need,
we'll make it work.
632
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,960
Oh, God, get a room.
633
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:58,440
Actually, no need. You two just go
at it outside these days.
634
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,080
Whoa, sass!
635
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,600
You know, can you go to Norway,
please?
636
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,320
Yeah, I'm trying. The next ferry's
in, like, three hours, so...
637
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:06,800
Take the shortbread with you, Amy.
638
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:08,200
Oh, no way.
639
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:12,760
You looking for me?
640
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:16,080
Oh, I was...
I was hoping I'd bump into you.
641
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:17,760
Yeah. Why?
642
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,280
Um, well, uh...
643
00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:24,080
You never told me your name
and I wondered what it was.
644
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:25,720
Stop filming me, then.
645
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:27,760
HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
What do you mean?
646
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,120
Stop filming me, and I'll tell you.
647
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:34,560
Um, no, I can't.
It's a documentary project,
648
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,800
to sort of film everything.
It's what I...
649
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,760
And I'll give you my phone number
if you turn the camera off.
650
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,800
Uh... Well, only...
651
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,200
OK. Yeah?
652
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,240
Uh...
653
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:49,480
Yeah. Uh... Yeah.
654
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,320
Banjo 2 by James Yorkston
& The Athletes
655
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:55,640
# We pulled up with three miles
to go
656
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,960
# Your words and tears ran wild
657
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:07,960
# You certainly choose
your moments there
658
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:14,080
# You certainly caught
me unaware. #
49909
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof