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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,200
Come on!
2
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:07,760
Wahey...!
3
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:08,880
Oh, my God!
4
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:11,800
Cool...
5
00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:14,000
Ugh. Isn't it great?
6
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,240
I always forget how much
I love the countryside.
7
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:19,200
Ooh, keep an eye out
for birds, everyone. Mm.
8
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,480
Well, keep an eye out
for the house, mainly.
9
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,640
It's called The Gables
and it's supposed to be
10
00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:25,480
on this road, apparently.
I don't know.
11
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:28,120
Oh, ah! What was that house there?
Sam, was that The Gables?
12
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,200
The Stables. Stables.
13
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,240
Oh, well, we're close, sound-wise.
14
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,840
Oh... Yeah, I'm not sure that's
how it works, Mum. It's not.
15
00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,160
Well, what number is The Gables?
No...!
16
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,120
They don't have numbers. No, that
would make life FAR too easy.
17
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:44,000
No, no, they much prefer to give
their houses quaint little names.
18
00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:45,760
BRANCHES SCRAPE CAR
Whoa, Mum, look out.
19
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,200
You're hitting the hedges.
Yes, but the road is too thin.
20
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:49,920
Amy, can you help, please?
I'm on my phone.
21
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,760
Yeah, well, could you stop being on
your phone and look for The Gables?
22
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,640
What are you talking about?
I don't know what Gables look like.
23
00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:56,960
The sign! Look for the sign!
24
00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:58,400
Mum, it's there! Stop!
25
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,000
Look, back there. The Gables!
26
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,600
Yes, well done, Sue! Well done, Mum.
Well done. Nice one, Gran.
27
00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:04,880
I spotted it first, but... Sue!
Turn her around, babe.
28
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:07,520
Yep, turn around up here... AS HAN
Turn her around, Chewie.
29
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:08,600
Chewbacca.
30
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,160
Turn her around, babe. You've got
to reverse her. Stop doing that.
31
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,840
I know I've got to turn around.
You could've turned there.
32
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,760
How could a road be this narrow
for this long?
33
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,160
Missed a... I take it back -
I absolutely hate the countryside.
34
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,640
You keep missing laybys.
I hate it!
35
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,640
But why? What do you need
a screwdriver for?
36
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:25,920
None of your business.
37
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,680
I mean... Well, do you want
a flathead or Philips?
38
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,560
Philip's? Who's...? No, I want...
I want your one. No, no.
39
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,680
They're different types
of screwdriver.
40
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,280
DOORBELL RINGS
41
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,600
Doorbell! Yes, we know.
We have a doorbell.
42
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,480
You don't need to shout
"doorbell", as well.
43
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,520
I do if no-one answers it.
44
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:42,960
I'll get it.
45
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:44,840
Just tell me what... No.
46
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,840
What are you trying to screw?
47
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,320
She wants to put a lock on
her bedroom door. Maya!
48
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,520
What? No. Absolutely not. Uh, why?
49
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:53,080
Cheers. Just no!
50
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,800
Mum, the foxes have been again.
51
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,960
Oh, God! Oh, God. Really?
52
00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:00,600
I mean, how?
How do they keep opening that bin?
53
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,080
I struggle to work it out
most of the time.
54
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,240
They haven't eaten much
of your kale pie, Mum.
55
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:06,960
Well, neither did we, to be fair.
56
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,320
Anyone like a coke float?
57
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:10,960
A coke float? No, thanks.
58
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:13,160
Mum, it's 8:45 in the morning.
59
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:14,800
Is that a no?
60
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,240
No, I mean, I will have one.
61
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,640
Look, Dad, please...
Where are you going to put it, Mum?
62
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,280
Well, back in the food bin,
I imagine,
63
00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:22,920
for the foxes to take out again
64
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:26,200
and so the cycle goes on forever.
65
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,400
Oh, is that a sausage or a shit?
66
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,200
I'll get the Marigolds.
67
00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,720
Rachel, can you please tell Amy
that she's not having a lock
68
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,760
on her bedroom door?
Ugh! Why not-uh?
69
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,200
Because-uh!
70
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:38,720
We don't have a lock on our door.
71
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,440
Yeah, well, we don't need one.
Exactly.
72
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,640
What-what do you mean by that?
No, no, I didn't...
73
00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:44,120
Oh. I don't mean... No, nothing.
74
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,160
Please! I keep having to push
my harp against the door.
75
00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,200
Well... There you go, Paul.
76
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,680
Perhaps if you actually tried
playing your harp,
77
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,520
instead of using it as a
really expensive doorstop!
78
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:55,840
Thank you, Mum.
79
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:58,120
And Maya's here, like,
every weekend. Yes, yes.
80
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,600
And I'm worried it's going to
affect her course. Oh, no.
81
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,240
I mean, it helps me, if anything.
82
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,480
I've kind of got this sort
of stalker in Swansea
83
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,240
called Jav that I'm trying to avoid.
84
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,280
Look, let's just vote on it,
at least.
85
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:09,720
Fine. Sam, come on.
86
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,320
You want a lock on your
bedroom door, right? Uh...
87
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,720
No, you know what? I'm all right.
88
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,520
Aha-ha! Oh, bloody hell, Sam.
89
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,040
Thank you very much, Sam.
90
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,760
PHONE BUZZES
It is finally settled.
91
00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,040
Aw, bless.
92
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:21,960
Well, you will Sam. Soon.
93
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,160
What? Oh, Robin's asking if
he can borrow Big Bertha.
94
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:25,680
Oh...
95
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,360
Well, he'll have to go up into
the loft to get it himself.
96
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,040
There's that wasps' nest up there.
97
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:31,400
I mean, what is going on?
98
00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:33,480
I thought all animal life was
about to go extinct
99
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,400
and yet, somehow, we're infested
with wasps and foxes.
100
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,080
Oh, honestly, bring back
fox hunting, I say.
101
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:41,040
Let the poshos sort them out -
102
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,200
make themselves useful for once.
103
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,800
That's a good idea, actually.
Who was that at the door?
104
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,440
No-one. It was just someone
delivering a parcel for Dad.
105
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,800
Ooh! Fabbo.
Oh, really, what is it?
106
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,600
Oh? Mm, that's exciting.
107
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,520
Hang on.
108
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,360
What day is it? Erm...
109
00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,080
15th. Why? Oh, God.
110
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,040
Oh. What?
It's from him, isn't it?
111
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:02,680
What? Him? Who's him?
112
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,880
Uh, Ray, one of Dad's old
archery team-mates.
113
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,920
How nice of him
to send you something.
114
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,760
It actually isn't.
115
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,560
Every August he does this,
116
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:15,760
on the anniversary of Team GB
finishing fourth in Athens.
117
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,600
Unbelievable.
118
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:21,080
"Bronzeless in Bedford. Thinking of
you at this most tragic time."
119
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:24,040
Yeah, he went on to win a bronze in
Beijing four years later, you see?
120
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,920
Yeah, and he took my spot -
121
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,760
and every year he has to bloody
well rub my face in it.
122
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:31,160
Is Ray the one that looks like you?
123
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:32,800
Yeah, yeah. No.
124
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:34,080
No? No.
125
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,880
No, he's the one, erm,
who Rachel, you know...?
126
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,760
Yeah, all right.
What? You know what?
127
00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:42,080
We went out, very briefly,
a long time ago,
128
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,320
before me and your father
got together.
129
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,200
Wow. And you dumped him for Dad?
130
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,640
Yep. How is that possible? Uh...
131
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,520
No, it was all very innocent
and Dawsons Creek-y.
132
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,120
Well, yeah. Yeah. And I was always
the better archer...
133
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,800
Mm. ..if you watch the videos.
134
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,440
Videos? What videos?
135
00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:58,640
Oh, God.
136
00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:01,880
"If you're ever in Cardigan Bay..."
Big if.
137
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:05,120
"..you really must come and stay
at The Gables."
138
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,200
Oh.
139
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,720
"Love to Rachey and best
to you and the family."
140
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,440
I mean, "Love to Rachey."
141
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:11,640
Pfft!
142
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,600
Jog on, son. Jog on.
143
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,960
Cardigan? That's not far from me.
144
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,120
You can drop Amy off in Swansea,
and then go check out his Gables.
145
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,520
No! No.
146
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,960
No! Why not? No way! No.
147
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:26,240
I-I would....
I would rather be dead, genuinely.
148
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,360
Wow. You know?
149
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,080
No, I never want to see Ray again.
150
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:34,840
I mean, who names their house The
Gables, for God's sake? Yeah...
151
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,880
A joke. The man is a joke.
152
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,320
Here we go.
153
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,440
Wow. Ah.
154
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,440
Look at that view.
That's gorgeous.
155
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,040
Blimey.
Yeah, it is actually...
156
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,120
..really lovely, isn't it?
Annoyingly.
157
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,440
Oh, we forgot to drop Amy
off on the way!
158
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:54,680
No, no, no, that's not...
159
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,120
Maya's got a deadline, so her
course mates have taken her
160
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,800
to their family's place
in Gower to work.
161
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:02,360
What? All of them?
Yeah, I think so.
162
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,840
Ah! I hear voices. There he is!
163
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,080
Ray.
164
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,920
The second best-looking man on
the '04 GB Olympic archery team.
165
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,440
Yeah, well, I suppose Colin
WAS quite good-looking.
166
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,360
I'm not talking about Colin, mate.
I'm talking about myself.
167
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,920
Yeah, I know. I know that.
Rachey, Rachey...!
168
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,840
Ah, Ray. Oh. Lovely.
169
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:21,120
Mm...
170
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,640
Well, you smell amazing.
171
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,680
Yes, I've just eaten Burger King.
172
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,280
Is it a Burger King?
173
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,040
Wow. You're enormous.
174
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:29,360
OK, thank you.
175
00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:30,680
And Paul's mum!
176
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,320
Yes, you're still with us!
177
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,480
Sue. I am, yes. Hello.
178
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,880
Last time I saw you,
you were a babe in arms.
179
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,760
Yeah, stop filming actually, Sam.
No, keep filming, actually, Sam.
180
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:41,520
Love all this stuff,
TikTok and whatnot.
181
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,240
I'm a documentary film-maker.
182
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,880
Sure you are.
Well, get a load of this.
183
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,400
That is what a winner looks like.
184
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:49,800
Peej.
185
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,400
Yeah, you didn't win, Ray.
186
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:52,800
It's bronze. Mm.
187
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,960
I won the bronze, so I did win.
188
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,320
OK.
189
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,840
Good, that's that sorted.
190
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,360
Right, shall I show you round?
191
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,160
Yes, please.
Give me that bloody bag...
192
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,440
Thank you. ..before we're too much
older. Come on.
193
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,000
Into The Gables!
Show you my house!
194
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,480
Oh, yes, yes. Yes?
Three barbecues, is it?
195
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,040
Pardon me? Three barbecues.
196
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,640
One, two, three.
Middle one's a smoker. Come on.
197
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,440
If you'll excuse the tools.
198
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,120
I've just been whittling some
new gatepost finials.
199
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,040
Oh, yeah? Yes.
200
00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,840
This place is more like
a workshop than a kitchen.
201
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,560
I'm such a bloody bloke.
202
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,080
No, no, it's... It's lovely, Ray.
203
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,680
Indeed it is, Sue.
204
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,320
It could do with a woman's touch.
205
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,520
PAUL CHUCKLES
206
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,880
As could I.
207
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,840
Oh, what amazing...
208
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,560
..Gables. Mm-hm.
209
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,120
Yeah, when was it built?
Well, have a guess.
210
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,720
No, thanks. Just tell us. 1675.
211
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,080
I've tried to restore it
sympathetically,
212
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:51,440
keep all the superb
17th-century features.
213
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,400
Now, bedrooms.
214
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,120
Granny and the kids,
I've put you in Barley.
215
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,400
Mm. So, you've named the rooms,
as well, have you? Oh, yeah, Barley.
216
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:00,840
Come on, up we go.
217
00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,880
Oh, blimey, look at
all the stuffies! Mm-hm.
218
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,400
It's like a zoo!
219
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,080
Where all the animals are dead.
220
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,640
Not seeing much barley.
221
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,000
Have you got Wi-Fi, Ray?
222
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,120
Uh, dial-up, yes.
223
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,720
Dial-up? Mm-hm.
224
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,680
Is that a 17th-century feature,
as well?
225
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,240
Amy.
PAUL CHUCKLES
226
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,360
No. That is actually quite rude.
All right!
227
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,080
Well, you know,
it gets the job done.
228
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,440
Slow and steady.
229
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,640
Downloads the image. Ugh.
230
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:31,400
Now, let me take you, sir,
and you, to Cumulonimbus.
231
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,080
Cumulonimbus?
232
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:35,800
There's no theme, then,
behind the names?
233
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,800
Lots of themes. OK.
234
00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:39,400
Different theme for each room.
235
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,600
And, finally... Wow.
236
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:43,080
..the yard. Mm.
237
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,800
Yes, please. Just the nine acres,
in the end. Nine?
238
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,160
My Own Private Idaho. Crikey.
239
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,760
You don't get this in the suburbs,
I imagine. No, you don't.
240
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,000
We have parks, so no need.
241
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,120
Do you get a lot of birds, Ray?
242
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,760
Yes. Yes, I do have a few female
admirers in the village.
243
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:02,600
No, no, I mean, you know...?
I'm winding you up, Sue!
244
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:04,120
Oh!
245
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,720
No, but in all seriousness,
246
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,480
we have all sorts come through here.
247
00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,880
Grouse, owls,
the occasional warbler. Oh!
248
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,760
Owls? Really? Yes.
249
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:15,040
Do you know,
I've always wanted to see an owl?
250
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:16,680
That's one for the bucket list.
251
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,720
Ah, yeah. Seeing an owl?
252
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,760
Is that all? No!
253
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:24,040
There are other things on my
bucket list, thank you very much.
254
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,600
Like what?
255
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,040
Well...
256
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:30,720
..I've always wanted to
try acid at some point.
257
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,920
Well, I can't help with that, Sue.
Really?
258
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,280
But, yes, we do have owls. Oh.
259
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,400
Tawny, thereof. Wow.
260
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,720
Now, if you keep an eye on
this old tree here,
261
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,360
the big one, round about
half past ten tonight...
262
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,320
Right. ..you may be in luck.
263
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,240
Well, there goes that idea.
264
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,640
Mum's usually asleep by 5:30.
265
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:51,080
8:15, thank you.
266
00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,080
And I can do later.
267
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,880
I watched Newsnight
a couple of months ago -
268
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:57,240
some of it.
269
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,480
And, Rachey...
270
00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:01,840
..there is a church yonder.
271
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,840
Oh, yes. Wow, yeah.
272
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,720
Avec graveyard. Mm-hm.
273
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,600
Ray, are they...?
Are they meant to be there?
274
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:13,320
Um, yes. Let the tourists camp here,
bit of extra pocket money.
275
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:15,720
Hi.
276
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,160
Oh, hi.
277
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:18,760
Erm, I wasn't...
278
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,280
Sorry, I...
279
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,080
Anyway, that concludes the tour.
280
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,160
Who would like a cup of tea?
Yes, please!
281
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,000
Come on, Sue. Thank you.
282
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,760
Thanks, Ray.
283
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,000
Thank you. Thank you, Rachey.
284
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:37,040
Are you going to mention the sneeze?
Yeah... Yeah, I will.
285
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:39,640
Just not now, OK? In a bit.
286
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,640
Don't rush me. I will.
287
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:48,400
Simon Terry now, looking to
consolidate on his earlier nine.
288
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,040
Pff...
289
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,760
This is really not how I wanted
to spend my Saturday night.
290
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,880
Well, Sam wanted to watch the old
archery video, so blame him.
291
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,040
What?
292
00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,720
It's actually very interesting,
once you get into the story. Story?
293
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,480
It's not Line of Duty, Dad.
294
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:05,280
It's five socially awkward men
trying to put a stick in a circle.
295
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,200
Yeah, and it's sent Granny to sleep.
296
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:10,760
No, no, it hasn't. I'm dozing.
297
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,600
OK, Sam.
298
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:14,800
Any of your friends up
to anything tonight?
299
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,280
Uh, yeah.
300
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,600
I think Ollie's watching all
three Kung Fu Pandas again.
301
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:20,240
Aw. But I mean...
302
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,640
..some of them must be out
somewhere, meeting girls, or...?
303
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,360
Oh, leave him alone, he's only 15.
304
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,800
Exactly, he should be into
all that by now. All right.
305
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:32,680
Well, you weren't meeting boys
and whatnot at 15, were you?
306
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,720
God, yeah. God, yeah?
307
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,240
As...as in, yeah.
308
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,600
It means yeah.
309
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:40,160
Well, not when you put a "God"
in front of it, it doesn't. Oh...
310
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,920
That indicates that you were some
sort of underage man-eater.
311
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,200
Of course... OK, well, that's
a horrendous image.
312
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:46,480
Of course I wasn't.
313
00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:49,360
I was just having fun and
obsessed with Damon Albarn.
314
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,920
And what were you doing
when you were 15?
315
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,520
Well, I was...
316
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,160
..archery, mainly.
317
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,800
Yeah, and draining his back boils.
318
00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,800
Ew. Honestly, some of them were
like absolute udders.
319
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,480
Oh, my God. Can you go to sleep,
please, Mum? Please?
320
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:07,000
How are you doing out there, Robin?
321
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:08,920
Nearly got it!
He's on his way down now.
322
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,800
Oh, oh. I remember this one vividly.
323
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,960
Yes, this tournament was
the one that decided
324
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,280
who was going to Beijing '08.
325
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,960
So, yeah...
326
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,480
MAYA LAUGHS
327
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:19,680
Who is that...
328
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:21,200
That's Ian. ..texting you?
329
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:22,680
Uh, it's, uh, Jav.
330
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:24,800
Jav from uni. Jav?
331
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,680
What, as in your stalker?
332
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:32,680
Oh, no, no, no, no, that was all
just a big misunderstanding. Oh.
333
00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,920
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, Jav's
just a friend, that's all.
334
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,640
Found it.
335
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,640
Woo!
336
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,240
Did...? That wasn't easy.
337
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:45,600
Have you been up the chimney?
338
00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:49,520
No, I just...
It's just very dirty up there.
339
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,240
I mean, to be fair, I shouldn't have
worn white jeans in the loft.
340
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,520
Or at all, really.
Robin, I'm so sorry.
341
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,520
It's all on your thighs, look.
Oh, I know.
342
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,080
Well, I had to sort of go
commando... Oh, my God.
343
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:01,600
..cos of the wasps.
You took off your pants?
344
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:06,640
No. No, I... No. I just crawled
around on my hands and knees.
345
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,080
Oh.
346
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,800
My pants are very much...
347
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,120
I'm so sorry.
Well, don't do that.
348
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,600
I realised that as I did it.
349
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:15,760
Anyway, we found Big Bertha, so...
350
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,120
Yep. ..cheers.
351
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,920
Yeah, no worries. So, are you...?
Are you going away or...?
352
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,520
Yeah, I'm doing a Buddhist
retreat... Oh?
353
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:23,960
..in Ipswich. Oh.
354
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,800
It's for a month, so I need
to pack a lot of outfits.
355
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:31,240
Oh, yeah, cos that's what Buddhist
retreats are all about. Yeah.
356
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,760
You're not going, then, Robin?
No. No, I'm not.
357
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:37,080
We're just having a month off,
aren't we, apart?
358
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,800
Uh, just freezing the contract.
We're not breaking up or anything.
359
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:41,760
It's just a...just a little break,
innit?
360
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:43,800
Innit? Uh-huh.
361
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:46,160
Oh, oh, there I am, there I am!
That's me!
362
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:47,600
EVERYBODY EXCLAIMS
363
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:48,840
What is that haircut?
364
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,360
Oh, look, and there's Ray.
365
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:51,720
God, he does look like you, Dad.
366
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:54,600
You've got a type, haven't you, Mum?
Oh, shut up, Amy.
367
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:58,400
So, I needed eight points or more,
uh, to finish above him. Yeah.
368
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,680
But then I...
I ballsed up my final shot.
369
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,280
Oh, wicked.
Oh, good. Now you're interested.
370
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,280
It was galling.
I can't get over your hair, Paul.
371
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,080
I had him, as well. Unlucky, Dad.
372
00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:09,160
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What was that noise?
373
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,560
What noise? Yeah, on the video.
Rewind it.
374
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,160
I didn't hear anything. No, there
was definitely a weird noise.
375
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,160
Maybe it was the crowd or something.
Turn it up. Is there a noise?
376
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:18,760
RAY SNEEZES LOUDLY
377
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:20,640
Oh, there was.
Yeah, I heard it that time.
378
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,440
I think that was...
I think that was Ray.
379
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:23,880
What, that shouty sneeze thing?
380
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,680
Yeah, that's why you
shanked it, Dad.
381
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,400
Who even sneezes like that?
What, "Achoo-ah"?
382
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,880
Yeah, no-one.
No-one. It was a fake.
383
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,440
He did it on purpose to put Dad off.
384
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:36,240
Really? Some people do have really
weird sneezes, to be fair, Amy.
385
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:37,920
Achoo-ah!
386
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,040
Not that weird. Yeah, that's a fake.
387
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:43,000
I'm calling fake sneeze on that.
Yep, yep.
388
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,960
Oh, my God, Dad.
Ray screwed you over.
389
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,480
It is like Line of Duty.
390
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,520
If I'd have made that shot,
I would've gone to Beijing...
391
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:52,880
Well, let's not get carried away.
392
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,080
..where I would've almost
certainly have medalled,
393
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,520
and been given an OBE.
394
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,720
Well, probably not an OBE.
Maybe an MBE.
395
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,000
Well, one of the BEs.
396
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,640
Which you should turn down because
of the association with the empire.
397
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,080
Yeah, I probably would've...
Well, it makes no difference.
398
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,320
You still wouldn't have an MBE.
Yeah, but he might be a pundit
399
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,600
or something by now. They always
wheel out the old medallists
400
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,440
for that, don't they?
Well, I don't think so.
401
00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,240
They do! If I'd have won
a bronze medal,
402
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,680
I could be the next Steve Cram!
403
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:16,280
Mm... Or Claire Balding!
404
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:18,760
As opposed to just balding.
Ah, well, if Ray did put you off,
405
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,240
there's still nothing we can do
about now, is there? So...
406
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,400
No, of course you can. You could go
up there and have it out with him.
407
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:25,960
Oh, no. Yes, great!
408
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,760
Go the weekend that I'm in Swansea
and you can drop me off on the way.
409
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:29,960
Oh, that's...
410
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,080
I mean, do you want to do that?
411
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:33,720
Oh, go on, Paul.
412
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,440
It's not very you to...
413
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,240
Erm, uh...
414
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,360
I don't know. Oh, come on, Dad.
Don't be a doormat all your life.
415
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,920
Well, that's a bit...
What do you mean all my life?!
416
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,880
I haven't been a doormat
for any of my life!
417
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,480
So, stick it to him, Paolo!
418
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,040
Go on. Go on up to Cardigan.
419
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,120
I'm going to bloody do it!
Yes, he's doing it!
420
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,920
Damn straight! Yes, Dad!
421
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,520
Yeah, we are going to Cardigan, Ray!
422
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:00,800
Huh.
423
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:01,920
Yeah...
424
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,720
Hi, Ray. A wagtail.
425
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,800
Wow.
426
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,280
What can I do you for?
427
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,680
Erm...
428
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:13,520
Well, uh...
429
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,320
It's not a biggie. OK. I just...
430
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:19,440
I was wondering if you remember
a archery meet in '07,
431
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,440
before Beijing? Erm...
432
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,720
..the one...where you beat me?
433
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,520
RAY CHORTLES
Bloody hell!
434
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,920
Narrow it down, Peej.
That could be any of them.
435
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,720
Well, I mean, I did win seven
tournaments that season, but...
436
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,000
Seven? I only ask because...
437
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,600
I think there may have been some...
438
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:41,040
..unsavoury behaviour-y...behaviour,
shenanigans.
439
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,720
Right. What are you...?
440
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,160
Uh, cheating.
441
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:47,880
I mean... Oh, God.
442
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:51,440
Yeah, cheating. Oh, Peej, man!
443
00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,960
Honestly, whatever you've done,
forget about it.
444
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,360
Honestly, I forgive you.
No, not by me.
445
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,120
What are friends for?
446
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,600
Forgive and forget,
that's what I say.
447
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:05,520
I'm not one of these sad old farts
who stores up grudges.
448
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,920
I'd find that pretty tragic,
wouldn't you?
449
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:12,160
No, I think I'd pity the fool who
can't just move on from stuff.
450
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,960
Do you know what I mean? Yeah...
451
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,240
Yeah. Yeah. No, yeah,
I mean, it's a good point.
452
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,240
Don't give it another thought,
honestly. OK.
453
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,520
Yeah, it's, erm...
Let's just say no more.
454
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,560
It's a long time ago, and, uh...
Water under the bridge.
455
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,200
Yeah.
456
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:29,080
It'd be pretty sad to start raking
over old graves, wouldn't it,
457
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,240
you know? Yeah.
458
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,240
Would it ever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
459
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:35,800
Me and Rach did enough of that.
460
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,800
OK, yeah.
461
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,440
Ah...
462
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,240
Sorry...
PAUL SPUTTERS
463
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:42,880
What are these...?
464
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,920
What are these grave jokes
all about again?
465
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,640
I, uh...
466
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,600
Oh, no, just that, erm...
467
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:51,920
No, me and Rach once fooled around
in a graveyard,
468
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,800
back in the...back in the day.
Yeah.
469
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,960
What, fooled around as in,
uh, removed flowers
470
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,640
and, uh, made fun of the names?
471
00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,280
THEY LAUGH AWKWARDLY
Yeah, could be. Yeah?
472
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:01,800
No, we got it on.
473
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,520
Had it off.
474
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,480
Arse on the grass and...
475
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,480
Yeah, plugged away.
476
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,120
She not tell you about that?
477
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,880
No, she did say.
478
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,600
Yeah, no, she said,
479
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,000
many times. Erm...
480
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,800
I knew about that.
481
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,680
It's an absolute classic, actually.
482
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,120
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah...
483
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,200
You all right?
Yeah, I'm good, man.
484
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,600
Oh, God. Have you frozen?
485
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,200
No, sorry. The signal's crap here.
486
00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,360
It's like being in a submarine...
487
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:36,040
..full of stuffed animals.
488
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:37,800
Ew.
489
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:39,600
Are you alone?
490
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,680
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jav's in the kitchen.
491
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:43,320
She's cooking,
so I can keep on working.
492
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:46,240
Oh, right.
And what about the others?
493
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,920
How do you mean?
494
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,960
All the others have finished?
495
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,480
No, there aren't any others.
496
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:55,680
Uh...
497
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,760
Oh, sorry, I thought...
I thought you knew that.
498
00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:00,280
Uh, yeah, no, I...
499
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:01,600
Yeah.
500
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,120
So...
501
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,960
Oh, you've frozen again.
502
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,560
No, sorry, that's...that's just my
face.
503
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:15,040
Erm... So, sorry,
it's just you and Jav?
504
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,000
Is no-one else there?
505
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:18,360
Uh...
506
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,720
Yeah, well, only because Ashad
couldn't come...
507
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,320
Sam, piss off!
508
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:23,640
All right.
509
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,760
Oh, my God, what is that?
510
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,960
Granny, what are you doing?
511
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,160
Oh, hello, Sam.
512
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,360
Just waiting for the owls.
513
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,560
Right. Are you shivering?
514
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,120
Uh, no.
515
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,480
No, I've just had half a thermos
of coffee to keep me awake,
516
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,640
so I'm extremely jittery.
517
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,960
Right. What time is it?
518
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,000
It's about five past eight.
519
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:52,560
Oh, my God...!
520
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,320
Oh, my God. OK, I can do this.
521
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,920
I can't even think about it.
522
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,600
Well, there's no need
to get all weird about it.
523
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,200
You said it was innocent. It was.
524
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,320
You had sex in a graveyard, Rachel.
Ah...
525
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,160
I mean, I don't remember that scene
in Dawson's Creek. Ah...!
526
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,400
You know,
it's just so disrespectful.
527
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,440
All right, don't...don't try and
shame me.
528
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:12,280
It's not like you don't have any
skeletons in your cupboard.
529
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:13,800
Not like that, I don't.
530
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,960
You've probably had a threesome
with a skeleton.
531
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,480
Oh, don't be so childish. I mean...
532
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,120
God, how could you even get
turned on in that context?
533
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:21,920
We just thought it'd be funny.
534
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,920
Really? Cos you know what I think
about in graveyards, Rachel?
535
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,160
Death!
536
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,160
I didn't enjoy it,
for what it's worth.
537
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,120
It was very damp and nettle-y.
Oh, God...!
538
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,880
I mean, we've not even
had sex outside.
539
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,200
No, I know. Or not in a bed.
540
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,400
Or not in the dark. I know,
I know you don't do that.
541
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,880
Don't make me out to be some
sort of Victorian just because
542
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,560
I haven't had it off on top
of a corpse.
543
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,400
I'm not calling you a Victorian.
I'm calling you a coward.
544
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:47,320
Of course you never have sex
outside. You're not even going
545
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,680
to confront Ray about cheating you
out of a medal,
546
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,840
even after we've come
out all this way!
547
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,240
Are you?
548
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,920
Well, don't...don't storm off.
549
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,040
Paul?
550
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,400
Paul!
551
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,320
Paul!
552
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:10,520
OK, listen to me,
you son of a bitch! What?
553
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,320
You shafted me on purpose!
554
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,880
Are you all right? In '07!
I'm fine. Uh-huh.
555
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,480
At the Team GB meet in Leeds!
Oh, not that again, Peej.
556
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,040
You sneezed during my final shot.
557
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:21,760
If I'd have got eight or over,
then that medal would be mine.
558
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,560
I can't help sneezing,
if that is even what I did.
559
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,120
Well, you did, very loudly.
560
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,400
Yeah, and very fakely.
561
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:28,960
It's all on video. Is it?
562
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:30,800
The fake sneeze designed
to put me off...
563
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,440
And can you stop whisking, please?!
564
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,760
Can you stop whisking, you swine?!
Please!
565
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,320
That medal should be mine
and you know it.
566
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,000
Well, that's pathetic AND weird.
567
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,040
It's not my fault that
I'm the better archer.
568
00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:46,000
Oh, you think so, do you?
Yeah, I know so.
569
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,200
Well, then, you won't mind a little
rematch tomorrow, then, will you?
570
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:52,200
You're embarrassing yourself, Peej.
I didn't put you off.
571
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,000
What's the matter?
Are you chicken? No.
572
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,960
Chicken? No. Huh? No, I'm not.
573
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:57,400
PAUL SQUAWKS
574
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,280
Cockle-doodle-doo!
575
00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:01,120
I'm not a chicken.
Cockle-doodle-doo!
576
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:02,600
Dad, that's a rooster.
577
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:03,920
Which is a type of chicken!
578
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,960
I'm not a chicken, I said! Peej!
579
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,800
Great... Great.
580
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,720
Well, then, we're on. Yeah.
581
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,240
Tomorrow morning. Yeah.
582
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,400
And if I win, I get the medal!
583
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,000
Right, what about if I win?
584
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:17,480
Well, if you win, you get...
585
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:19,000
Rachel. What? I get Rachel.
586
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:22,360
No. What the hell are you talking
about? Of course you don't.
587
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,160
Definitely not, no? No... No!
588
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:25,480
This isn't medieval times.
589
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,800
You don't win women in sports
competitions any more -
590
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,880
at least, I don't think you do.
In Formula 1, maybe.
591
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,040
I'm saying you'd have to agree
to it, too, of course.
592
00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:34,360
Well, I don't. Why would I do that?
593
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,880
Because I thought maybe
you might harbour... No.
594
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,560
No, no. This harbour
is totally empty.
595
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,760
Frankly, Ray,
you give me the creeps -
596
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:44,960
that's why we broke up
after just under a month.
597
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,240
The best just-under-a-month
of my whole life.
598
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:49,920
Oh, for God's sake.
You'll have to win something else.
599
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,800
All right, £1,000. Deal. Yep.
600
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,640
Yeah, that's my monetary value,
is it? Deal.
601
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,880
What are you saying deal for?
We don't have £1,000.
602
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,440
We won't need £1,000
603
00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,920
cos it's in the bag, mate!
You'll need it, you'll need £1,000.
604
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,720
YOU'LL need £1,000.
Why would I need it?
605
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:04,600
I'm giving you the medal if you win!
Think about the rules, man!
606
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:05,800
We're going to win!
607
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:07,720
Au contraire, Peej!
This is my game!
608
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,480
Sam, will you promise me to have
therapy when you get older?
609
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,880
Because I don't want you turning
out like that, OK?
610
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,120
Yes, Mum.
611
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,000
All right, Dad, ready.
612
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,000
Here we go then, young Peej.
613
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,160
Three arrows each,
highest score wins.
614
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:25,840
Yeah, we know. Get on with it.
615
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:29,720
I shall, uh,
text you my bank details.
616
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,840
We won't need them.
Don't bother, mate.
617
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,320
Ooh.
618
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:37,640
Someone's on the board.
619
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,240
Over to you, sir. OK.
620
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,360
Go on, Paul.
621
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:44,720
Go on, Dad.
622
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,120
Oh.
623
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,720
Having a bit of trouble there, Peej?
624
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,440
The pointy end goes in
the front, mate.
625
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,360
Be quiet, Ray, please.
626
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,480
That's it. Steady.
627
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,080
Take your time, Paul.
Take your ti...
628
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,800
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho!
629
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,960
Straight in the old five there.
630
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:08,040
It's OK. It's OK, Paul.
Don't mind if I do.
631
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:10,800
It's all right, it's good.
Were you going for that?
632
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:12,880
Peej? Yep.
Were you going for the five?
633
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,800
Mm-hm. All right, good plan.
634
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,800
Yeah, of course I was.
Got to have a plan.
635
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,320
Got to have a plan.
I'm a bit rusty.
636
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,720
How are you feeling, Gran?
637
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,760
Oh, awful.
638
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,640
Jet lagged.
639
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:31,440
I was buzzing till about 9:30
and then I hit the wall, conked out.
640
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:35,160
Totally missed the owls,
if they even came.
641
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:39,480
And I've no interest in taking acid
any more, not after that.
642
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,320
Right.
643
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,200
Come on, Dad.
644
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,480
Make that 13-5, I think, Peej. Yep.
645
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:48,760
You're up.
646
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,040
How old's this bow, Ray?
Action's a bit stiff, mate.
647
00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:54,320
Oh, ho, ho, ho. Yeah, I see.
Action's a bit stiff. Yes.
648
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,240
Excuses, excuses, Peej.
649
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:57,920
Oh, come on, you two.
650
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:01,000
Stop waggling your willies around
and get on with it.
651
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:03,320
Willies?
652
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:06,520
You've got this, Paul. Yep.
653
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,520
Yes!
654
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:13,960
Well done.
655
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:17,400
13-12, Dad. You can do it.
Really...beautiful.
656
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,840
Big one here... Uh-huh.
..and you're out of it.
657
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:29,920
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Oh...
658
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,760
Yes, please!
That's how it's done, Raymond!
659
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:34,440
21-12!
660
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,600
You going to bow out now or...?
Shot.
661
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,400
Shot.
662
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,040
You need a big one.
663
00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:41,760
21-12, Peej! Little bit rusty...
664
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:43,520
Are you OK? Mm-hm. Yeah?
665
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,520
It's only a medal, you know that?
666
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,040
It doesn't change anything.
667
00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:50,320
We all love you anyway. OK...
668
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,680
That said, we really don't have
£1,000, so you do need to get a ten.
669
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,240
RAY SQUEALS
670
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,640
My bad, Peej. Thought I was
going to sneeze. Yeah.
671
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,560
I heard. Just kidding, mate. OK.
672
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:13,400
ARROW LOOSES
Oh. Ten!
673
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:14,440
Yes! Yes!
674
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,440
I got ten! Yes! Yes!
675
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,800
I got a ten! OK...
676
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,000
And it's all on camera.
You got that, right, Sam?
677
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,200
Uh... You got that last shot?
678
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:23,440
Yep. Oh, yes.
679
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,440
Finally, having you film everything
pays off, mate. Ah...
680
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,040
Erm, where's Amy?
681
00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:30,600
Uh... Oh, yeah.
682
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,280
Where's Amy?
683
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,560
God. Oh, my God, where is she?
It'll be OK, it'll be fine.
684
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,520
We'll find her.
Did she say anything to you, Sam?
685
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,920
Of course not. She only talks
to me to tell me to shut up.
686
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,880
There. There she is,
Up there, on the left.
687
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,600
Ah...
688
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,680
Amy! Amy...!
689
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,200
Oh, Amy.
Where were you going?
690
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,600
I was trying to walk to Cardigan!
691
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:57,480
These stupid country roads
all look the bloody same!
692
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,320
Oh, well, that's, uh,
lazy journalism.
693
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:01,640
That's clearly the B4570...
694
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,120
Shut up, Ray. Yeah.
695
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:06,480
Why were you going to Cardigan?
To get the bus to Swansea and...
696
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,080
AMY SNIFFLES
697
00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:12,520
It's just Maya and Jav in the house.
698
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,360
Oh, Amy...
699
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,760
I thought they were all going,
700
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:18,800
but it's just the two of them!
701
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,560
Hey, on the... On the plus side,
I won a medal.
702
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:25,760
Not now.
703
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:27,800
Achoo-ah!
704
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,760
Bless you.
705
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,440
Thank you.
706
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,000
Bloody ragweed, always sets me off.
707
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:38,600
Achoo-ah! Oh!
708
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:43,560
Achoo-ah!
709
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:45,680
Ah...
710
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,240
Achoo-ah!
711
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,480
Achoo-ah!
712
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,520
Achoo-ah!
713
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:01,000
Cheers, then, Peej. OK.
714
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:02,440
See you in a bit, Rach.
715
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:06,120
OK. Bye, Ray.
716
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:14,320
I actually thought it was quite
an ugly medal, to be honest.
717
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:15,480
Thanks, Mum.
718
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:19,160
It's better that he keeps it,
you know?
719
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:22,120
He needs it more than me.
720
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:23,560
I've got you lot.
721
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,920
Aw. You're my bronze medal.
722
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,920
Oh, right. So, we're the third best
family you could get, are we?
723
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,560
I meant that in a nice way, Amy,
thank you. Hey, who is up for
724
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:35,080
going to the seaside? No.
Yes! Oh, yes, please!
725
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:36,880
That's a great idea!
Brilliant. Great.
726
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,040
Amy? Yeah. Yeah, sure.
727
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:39,480
Lovely.
728
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:40,720
Chips.
53506
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