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1
00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:02,240
Amy, come on.
2
00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:10,960
Oh, my God.
Oh, for God's sake.
3
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,360
See you in a bit, OK?
OK. Good luck.
4
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,280
OK. We'll be back as soon as
we can then.
5
00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,000
Argh, argh, argh.
6
00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:20,480
Oh. Paul, what's happened?
7
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:22,760
My quads. My quads have seized up...
8
00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,280
Oh, here we go.
..from sitting in the backseat.
9
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,080
Oh, lord, oh, Paolo.
I blame myself.
10
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:29,800
Any idea when they'll seize down?
11
00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:32,000
Which ones are quads again?
12
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:35,080
Legs, Mum, front legs.
The things I'm currently rubbing.
13
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,480
Ah, these ones Sue. These ones.
14
00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,000
And what about your bottom?
15
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,720
Mum. Can you be quieter, please?
16
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,400
Not from back here, no.
17
00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:44,360
We're going to be late, Mum.
18
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:45,920
Yes. Thank you, Sam.
19
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,280
Just don't worry. I'll get it, Rach,
don't worry. I'll get him inside.
20
00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,560
How's your bottom, Paul?
21
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,120
Oh. Mum, it's five to four. Mum.
22
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,240
Yes, thank you.
Thank you for your help, Amy.
23
00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:56,680
Well, what do you expect me to do?
24
00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,640
Well, maybe not lean against
the car eating... Are those crisps?
25
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,280
..before your interview.
Not really. They're Monster Munch.
26
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,360
Just go. Go and get Amy her job.
OK...OK, good luck.
27
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,440
I'll get him in there.
Have you got your speech?
28
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:08,920
Yeah, it's in my jacket pocket.
Yeah. Robin, what you doing?
29
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,080
Aah. Carrying you, mate,
fireman's lifting you in.
30
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:12,840
He ain't heavy,
he's my brother in law.
31
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,320
Do you think it's going to work?
32
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,040
Aaargh, ugh. No,
it's not actually.
33
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,120
Ooh, God. Oh, you're heavier
than you look, ain't you?
34
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,840
Well, no. I'm about the same as I...
35
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,920
Yeah, but you're dense though.
Like sort of dark matter.
36
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,240
OK, good luck.
Sam: Hang on, wait for me.
37
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,440
Dark matter?
38
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:32,040
You still haven't answered my
question about your bottom, Paul.
39
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,480
It's still hurting, Mum, thank you.
40
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:36,800
Come on, come on, Paul.
I'll get it. I got you,
41
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:40,080
I got you. Ooh, just take
little steps, like Pingu.
42
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,760
Archery time!
43
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,040
No, that's a bit much.
That's a bit much, Sam.
44
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:45,120
Hi.
45
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:46,560
That's creepy. Um...
46
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,520
Do you want me to start on
the trophy?
47
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,080
Yeah, let's start on the tro...
48
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:53,440
What's up, archery fans?
49
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:58,240
My name is Olympic archer
Paul Jessop, as you know,
50
00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:01,320
and this is my Paul4Ar... Oh.
51
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:04,360
Paul4Archery channel.
52
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,480
Please do subscribe below.
53
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:12,160
Now today I'm talking fingers,
finger exercises,
54
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,720
finger health,
55
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:18,160
so this is my standard finger
workout. Warm up.
56
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:21,360
So this is my standard finger
warm-up.
57
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:23,960
We can just cut that together.
58
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:28,960
Huge part of archery,
these guys, the talons, yeah.
59
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,440
Really want to feel it in
the tendons.
60
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,720
Yeah, do you know want to fire
an arrow or something Dad?
61
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,720
Oh, just can we...
Can you stop interrupting?
62
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,920
Guys, please!
I was nailing that one.
63
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,960
Wow, that was you nailing it,
was it?
64
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:41,880
Yeah. It's got to be more
active, Dad.
65
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:45,040
This is just a bit,
you know, no offence, but boring.
66
00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,760
Er, it... Have you ever been on
the internet, Sam?
67
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,840
It's mostly boring, OK?
People like it boring.
68
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,560
Do you know what the most popular
thing on the internet is?
69
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,440
People taking photos
of their own face.
70
00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:58,200
That's how boring it is. Please!
Please, love! Yeah, I know Dad.
71
00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,560
I'm 15. You don't need to mansplain
the internet to me.
72
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,520
Well, I'm not, and you're also
a man, so I can't mansplain to
another man.
73
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,520
The finger thing is quite boring,
hon, and creepy.
74
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:10,240
Can we all stop back-seat driving
my YouTube channel, please?
75
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,520
It's niche, sure, but that's how
online influencing works.
76
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:17,160
You...you get everyone who's
into a niche thing together,
77
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,440
OK, be it archery or...
78
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:20,680
Teabagging.
79
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,120
Oh, no, I'm sorry. It's not right.
80
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,720
Why don't people get real
jobs any more?
81
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,120
Actually, yes. Um, where's Amy?
82
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,120
I'm meant to be helping her
with some job applications.
83
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,880
Er, she's gone for a walk.
84
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:35,080
A what? A walk? Amy
doesn't walk, does she?
85
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:36,720
I mean, she can.
86
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,080
I'll tell you, Paul,
when I was growing up,
87
00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:43,840
people had proper jobs,
you know, like butcher, baker.
88
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:47,640
Or candlestick maker.
I know, Sue, but times change.
89
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,680
We can no longer consult
nursery rhymes
90
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,880
for effective careers advice, sadly.
DOORBELL RINGS
91
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,760
Oh, good. Finally.
92
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,960
Well, our ancestors were
all lumpers.
93
00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,480
What? What are lumpers?
94
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,160
You know, stevedores.
95
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,560
What the hell are you talking about?
96
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:06,920
Oh, that's tight.
97
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,440
That is tight. Oh, Robin, Dean,
Cherry, hi. Hi.
98
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,040
All right, Rachel? Looking good.
99
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,320
Like a Jedi or something.
Thank you. Why are you in, erm...?
100
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:16,560
Yeah, we've been cycling.
Me and Dean have, not Cherry.
101
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:17,800
Oh, right.
102
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,440
I prefer cars.
103
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,000
All right, Paolo. Got your milk.
104
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,160
Yeah...
105
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,520
Hiya, Sue.
Oh, new hip in yet, is it?
106
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:25,840
Erm, three weeks' time.
107
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,560
Oh! Oh, my God, Robin.
108
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:29,360
Why are your clothes so tight?
109
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,320
Cycling gear, so it's Lycra.
110
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:32,960
That's illegal, isn't it?
LAUGHTER
111
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,400
I know.
112
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:37,120
I have told him.
I can see all his bits.
113
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,520
The three amigos!
114
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,160
Yeah, it's like a
boil-in-the-bag.
115
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,080
Stop looking at it.
Sam, could you...
116
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:43,320
Don't film down there.
117
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:44,480
It's all sweaty and all.
118
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,440
No, nonsense, mate. You film what
you like, brother.
119
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,480
I've got nothing to hide.
120
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,520
THEY WHOOP AND CHEER
121
00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,720
No, I'm not being rude,
but you're here. Why are you here?
122
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,560
Oh, yeah, sorry, just we're in
the middle of a 25K river trail
123
00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:00,440
around the corner, and I realised
I needed a little pit stop.
124
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:01,480
Shit stop.
125
00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:03,720
Hey! Only number one. OK...
126
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,200
But, yeah, I do, so I thought I'd,
er... Ah, come and do it here.
127
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,120
Yeah, fantastic. Go for it.
128
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,000
You can actually do it in the Lycra
if you have to.
129
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,080
It won't go anywhere cos it's sort
of vacuum-packed,
130
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,280
just, like, sloshes around or
whatever. Oh.
131
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,760
So you're not cycling then,
Cheryl?
132
00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:21,440
No. I'm following in the Suzuki. Ah.
133
00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:23,840
Yeah, Cherry's in the support
vehicle, Sue.
134
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,920
It's so bloody slow. Well...
135
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,520
I keep getting honked.
136
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:28,600
And bored.
137
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:30,560
Yeah, but it's nice to do stuff
together, though, babe.
138
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:33,400
I go salsa with you,
you come training with me.
139
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:34,640
I'm not with you, though, am I?
140
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:37,480
I'm in the car, watching
your little bum pumping away.
141
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,000
It's rubbish. Sounds all right!
142
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:40,920
So, how long you been
cycling, Robin?
143
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,440
Since the dawn of time, mate.
144
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:43,800
No, just the last couple of years.
145
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,840
But I tell you what - feel
these calves.
146
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,160
Honestly, they're absolute cows,
aren't they, babe?
147
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:49,200
Yeah, in a bad way.
148
00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:51,640
He's had to chuck out the skinny
jeans that I got him.
149
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,120
Oh... That's a shame. Wow. Yeah?
150
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:56,080
OK... This is weird. There you are.
151
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,960
Meant to be doing these
application forms.
152
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:00,960
Yeah, I know. That's why I went out.
I very much don't want to.
153
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,160
Great! I'm so glad I'm going to be
late for work
154
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,320
to give you pro bono careers advice.
155
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:06,880
Have to find another time.
156
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,520
All right, gorgeous?
157
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,080
Really? I'm 19.
158
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,640
Heh, I'm still waiting for the bad
news!
159
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,000
I'm gay. That do it?
160
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:15,440
Yep. That'll do, yeah.
161
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:16,880
Is that my old T-shirt?
162
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,480
So? You don't wear it any more.
163
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,080
Well, can you please ask me
before stealing my stuff, please?
164
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:24,120
Oh, my God. I should shave 'em,
really. Actually, Paul, I've got
165
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,640
your dad's old bike in the shed
from the '60s.
166
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,840
Oh, aye, the '60s?
167
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,200
What is it, a penny farthing?
LAUGHTER
168
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:33,360
No, it's a proper racer. A Falcon.
169
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:34,680
Oh...
170
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,920
Falcon? Falcons are quality, mate.
171
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,040
Yeah.
172
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:42,760
Well, my Les absolutely loved
it until his piles came through
173
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,320
and then he had to stop.
174
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,640
"Came through"? Piles aren't like
teeth, Sue.
175
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:50,080
Er, Les's were. He could have
eaten an apple with them.
176
00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:54,680
So, which bike's yours, then, Robin?
Yeah, the green one.
177
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:57,440
I'll show you the green machine. The
Snot-mobile. The old Snot-mobile.
178
00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:01,240
Amy! Can you not leave your
coats lying around, please?
179
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,000
Wow, you guys aren't mucking about.
Lean and green.
180
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,520
I might have to, er...might have to
come out with you one of these days.
181
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,360
Oh, yes, Paolo!
That's fightin' talk, innit?
182
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,320
Join the peloton, brother.
I can...I can cycle.
183
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,880
Strap on the stabilisers
and off we go!
184
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,040
I got rid of them when I was eight,
mate, so, er...
185
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:15,320
Eight? That's a bit late, innit?
Is it? That IS late, yeah.
186
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:16,360
OK, OK, Amy.
187
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:18,000
OK, come on.
188
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:19,480
We're late.
189
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,960
Oh, Amy, you're covered in whatever
Monster Munch is made out of.
190
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,560
I can't believe it's potato.
191
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,720
Can someone grab my walker
from the back, please?
192
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,640
Oh... Mum, quick.
193
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,840
Rachel! Rach!
194
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,040
You'll have to catch us up, Sue!
195
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,320
Hello. Sorry. Hi.
196
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,680
We've got an appointment
with Kim Sinclair at four o'clock.
197
00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,480
Yeah, sorry, we're a little late,
er... Stuck in traffic.
198
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,560
What's the name?
Amy Jessop.
199
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:53,960
She's Amy Jessop, yes.
I'm her mother.
200
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,840
And also, erm, an old friend of
Kim's.
201
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,120
School friend.
202
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,080
So I thought maybe we could hang
around and...
203
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,240
Well, no waiting.
204
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,240
Well, no, we'll be really quiet.
You won't know we're here.
205
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:04,440
Help me, Rachel!
206
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:05,760
Oh...
207
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,640
Me walker's stuck in the door!
Help me! Oh, God. Yeah...
208
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,640
Now, the saddle is very firm. Mm.
209
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,440
Mm-hm. Good.
210
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,800
Good. Firm's good. Firm but fair.
PHONE CHIMES
211
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,200
Erm... We...
212
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,040
Ooh! Ooh, yes!
213
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:24,480
Yeah! I've got one more subscriber
to my Paul4Archery channel.
214
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,680
Grr! That is great news.
215
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,520
Yeah, proper influencers tend
216
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:30,200
not to celebrate them
individually, Dad.
217
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:31,240
Huh?
218
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,720
Yeah, and the bell, the bell still
works. Look.
219
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,880
Maybe you could use the bike
on your channel, Dad, instead
220
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,080
of those really boring
finger exercises?
221
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,320
Yeah, that's a good idea.
222
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,560
You know, a whole-body
fitness video. Yeah.
223
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,560
Maximise my subscriber reach.
224
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,120
Well, it would be good to break
into double figures, certainly.
225
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,880
Well, I've actually got 14,
so there.
226
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,520
Yeah, either way, can you stop
dinging your bell, please?
227
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,120
We're meant to be doing
Amy's mock job interview. All right.
228
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,440
Can I finish my cereal first?
229
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:59,280
No, I've been waiting 40 minutes as
it is. We're doing it right now.
230
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:00,600
Amy, cereal?
231
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,160
It's 2pm.
232
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,400
So? You don't have to eat
cereal at breakfast, Granny.
233
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,360
You can have it whenever you want.
234
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,720
Well, that's PC gone mad.
235
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:10,880
Erm...
236
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:13,120
No, it isn't, but...
237
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,200
Ready? Yeah?
238
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,640
Can you tell Sam not to film it?
239
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:18,880
Well, THEY might film it.
240
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,000
Well, yes, very true.
241
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,280
They might film it,
so this is good practice.
242
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,600
OK, so, here we go.
243
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,400
Is she going to be wearing that
T-shirt for the interview?
244
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,320
What's that?
My Rage Against The Machine T-shirt
245
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,040
from the mid-'90s? Hopefully not,
no.
246
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,160
Why? What's wrong with it?
247
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,000
Well, I don't know.
Off the top of my head,
248
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,600
going to a job interview
with Che Guevara on your clothes
249
00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:39,000
might make them question your
commitment to the role of admin
250
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,680
assistant and, indeed, capitalism
in general.
251
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:45,360
Oh, is that who it is? Do you know,
I thought it was Frank Spencer.
252
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:48,880
What? You know, the beret.
253
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,800
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
254
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:53,600
To be fair, you wouldn't want to
employ either of them, would you?
255
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:54,840
No, no!
256
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:58,760
No, you should be wearing a skirt,
Amy, and a blouse.
257
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,280
A blouse? Seriously?
258
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,560
Yeah, with a smart handbag
that matches your shoes.
259
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,440
OK, well, we'll discuss
wardrobe later.
260
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,840
If we could just, please, let's
get...let's get on with it.
261
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,440
OK, so, Amy...
262
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,600
..tell me about yourself.
263
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,560
Uhh...
264
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:16,920
..I'm tall.
265
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,320
I'm a Libra.
266
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,440
Mm-hm. I'm going to uni at
Swansea next year... OK.
267
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,000
..because my girlfriend goes there.
No, but don't...don't say that.
268
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,320
That makes it sound like that's
the only reason you're going.
269
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,280
It is. Yeah, don't tell them
you're going to Swansea.
270
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:29,800
That might make them not want to
hire you.
271
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,920
Talk about your personality.
272
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,360
Right, yeah. Um...
273
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:34,960
..I'm impatient.
274
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,240
I get bored easily. OK.
275
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,440
I'm quite lazy.
276
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,440
Why would you tell them that?
277
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:41,480
Cos she IS lazy.
278
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:43,680
Yes, I know she is, Sam,
but don't tell them that!
279
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:45,560
Let them find that
out for themselves.
280
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,360
Talk about your...your skills.
281
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:52,000
Well, I can roll my tongue. OK.
282
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:55,840
And I know the name of that really
long Welsh town, if that's useful.
283
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,040
Why would that be useful?
Oh, go on, then.
284
00:10:58,120 --> 00:10:59,600
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
285
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:03,840
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrn-
drobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
286
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,760
Ha-ha! Well done! You should
definitely do that!
287
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,200
No, don't do that. Don't do that.
288
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,040
Amy, you've got to sell yourself,
yeah?
289
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,120
Talk about chess club or,
you know, learning the harp briefly.
290
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,400
You know, anything that sets
you apart.
291
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,120
It's really competitive out there.
292
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:21,600
And if you want...want Sinclair
Business Process Outsourcing
293
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,760
to take you seriously, then you've
got to be passionate
294
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,080
and dynamic and...
295
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,120
Sinclair? Hang on...
296
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:32,000
Oh, my God. This is
Kim Sinclair's business. Yeah, and?
297
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,240
Oh... I know her!
298
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:35,800
I've known her for years.
299
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,640
Oh, my God, this is great.
You'll be a shoo-in.
300
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:38,800
Forget everything I said.
301
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,800
This is how people actually
get jobs in this country.
302
00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,960
It's with contacts.
So, what, I don't need to practise
303
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:44,880
for the interview, then?
No, forget it, forget it.
304
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:46,960
Just say that you like working
in a team and you won't leave
305
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,560
your coat lying around,
you'll be fine. Cool. Great system.
306
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:51,880
I'm having a bath, in that case.
307
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,520
Ah, this is great!
308
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,240
Oh, my God, Rach. Have you got
up to 15, have you?
309
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:59,680
Huh? I'll hang your coat up then,
Amy, shall I?
310
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,800
No, no, no, no.
This is not another subscriber.
311
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,920
This is big-boy shit.
312
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,320
Oh, no. Oh, no.
313
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:06,960
Oh, Paul, are you OK?
314
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,560
Huh? Yeah.
315
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:13,280
As in, my old school emailed,
asking me...
316
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,080
..to give out the awards
at the Year 11 sports day.
317
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,200
Well, yeah, because you asked
them if you could.
318
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:22,480
Well, yeah, I offered, just
as a favour, but this is immense!
319
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:24,120
I can probably get you all
free tickets.
320
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,280
Tickets? To a sports day?
321
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:27,760
Yeah!
322
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,480
Oh, that's wonderful, Paul. I know.
323
00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:33,560
And are you going to be
getting a prize, as well?
324
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,440
Um...
325
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,640
Nooo. No.
326
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:41,160
But, you know, the point is, if you
get the kids into something online,
327
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,560
you can very quickly go viral,
328
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,360
so I need to think about branded
T-shirts, you know,
329
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:48,320
big foam fingers, you know, maybe
even foam feet or something.
330
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,240
I don't know if you can do them. Mm.
331
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:51,920
Er, Amy Jessop?
332
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,360
Here! Yes.
333
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,120
Kim. Kim, hi.
334
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,720
Oh. Hi. Yes?
335
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,600
Er...
336
00:12:58,680 --> 00:12:59,800
Sorry?
337
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,320
Rachel.
338
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,400
Erm... Rachel Hankey. From school.
339
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,440
Oh! Oh, yes.
340
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,040
Erm, hi. Hi.
341
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,200
Sorry, are you here for the
assistant job, as well, or...?
342
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:11,600
What? No. No.
343
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:12,960
Amy's my daughter. Amy Jessop.
344
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,320
Hi. Hi.
345
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:15,800
Jessop's my married name.
346
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,080
OK, OK.
347
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:21,280
And the boy with the camera
and the lady with the Zimmer frame,
348
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:22,640
are they with you too or...?
349
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:23,840
We are, yeah.
350
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,640
Yes. Yes. Yes, we are.
351
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,560
Sue Jessop, granny.
352
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,560
Very proud granny.
353
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,960
And I've just had my hip replaced.
354
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:33,600
Oh, no. So how are you?
355
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,480
How are you doing?
It's been bloody yonks.
356
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:36,720
How's Dave?
357
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,160
It is Dave, isn't it?
358
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,000
No, it's David. Right.
359
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,440
How is he? He's amazing,
thank you. Just so busy. Ah.
360
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,040
Yeah, he was made senior
consultant a few months ago.
361
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:49,160
Wow! Was he? Yeah, thanks.
Yeah, yeah.
362
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:50,200
What does your...
363
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,720
Are you married? Yeah.
364
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,080
Yeah, I am. Yeah.
365
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,960
My husband's a former
Olympic athlete, actually.
366
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,560
Oh, wow!
367
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,320
Yeah. Which...which event?
368
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,360
Uh, outdoors. One of the
track and field...
369
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:02,880
Archery. It's archery, yeah.
370
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,240
KIM CHUCKLES
How funny.
371
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,880
Yeah. Yes. It's funny.
372
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,400
Amy's such a good girl.
373
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,840
You're going to love her.
374
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:10,960
Hopefully, yeah.
375
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,880
So, how are you?
How are your children doing?
376
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,920
Oh, so well, thank you.
377
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:19,160
Yes, Seb is a prefect. A perfect,
I call him. Ah, perfect! Year 11.
378
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:24,000
And Constance is at Yale, majoring
in political science.
379
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,760
Ah! So... Yale. Yeah, thanks.
380
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,160
Yeah, thanks. She's so driven.
381
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,440
I mean, far too ambitious to stay in
the UK
382
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:34,240
and get any sort of office
job or anything. Mm. Yeah. Yeah.
383
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,120
What about you, Rachel?
What are you doing?
384
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:41,000
I heard that you'd given up
being a careers adviser
385
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,960
and you set up a cafe.
386
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,760
Yeah, a few years back.
That's right, yeah.
387
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,240
Oh, well, good...good for you.
388
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,960
Yeah, I mean, being a careers
adviser must be horrendous and,
389
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:54,200
you know, owning your own business,
well, it's the best, isn't it?
390
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:55,400
Hmm, no, definitely, yeah.
391
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,240
Had to...had to close it, though,
the cafe.
392
00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,240
Well, it's not for everyone, is it?
393
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,200
So, what do you do now?
Yeah, back in careers advice. Aww.
394
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:06,240
Rightly or wrongly. Not really what
I want, but... No.
395
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,200
..probably need to talk to a careers
adviser myself. Probably.
396
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:10,400
Yeah, yeah.
397
00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:14,240
Maybe you should apply to
be my assistant after all!
398
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:15,720
KIM CHUCKLES
399
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,360
No, it is tough. It's tough. Yeah.
400
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:21,520
I mean, in some ways,
you know, we've been so lucky,
401
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:25,640
but I sort of think you make your
own luck, really, don't you? Hmm.
402
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,440
Erm, I've actually got a
meeting at 4:30, Amy, so...
403
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:30,400
Oh, sorry. Can we? Do you mind?
404
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:39,960
Well, she's what my mother
would have called a classic cow.
405
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:42,120
And what is it?
406
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,840
Yeah, it's just a boring office job,
407
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,960
assistant thing so...
it'll be faeces.
408
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,040
I don't even want it.
409
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,400
Sorry, guys. Can we just, erm...
Oh, whoa! Wow!
410
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,160
Sorry, my dad's wearing Lycra.
411
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:54,440
Oh, my God.
412
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,000
Oh, please let me see!
413
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,000
Yeah, no. No, no-one should see
this.
414
00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:59,720
OK, Amy, can you put your
phone down, please?
415
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,160
What? Yes, please, can you?
416
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,360
We need to talk about something.
417
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,440
Yeah. All of us.
418
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,720
OK, better go. I think my
parents are getting divorced.
419
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,960
No. No, we're not. No way.
We're not getting divorced.
420
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,480
Oh, great - more Christmas presents!
421
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,920
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ah, very good,
Maya. Take care, take care.
422
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,120
OK, bye. Bye. Can you put the
camera down, please, Sam?
423
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:18,920
All right. Come on, Sam.
424
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,280
OK. Take a seat, Sam. All right.
425
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,640
OK, so...
426
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,760
Yeah, why are you wearing Lycra,
though?
427
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:27,160
Huh?
428
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,440
Oh, I'm going out cycling with
Robin. Yeah.
429
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,120
It's just to sort of make me more
aerodynamic.
430
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,040
You? You may be the LEAST
aerodynamic person in the world.
431
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,680
Have you been using drugs?
432
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,080
Hmm. What?
433
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:42,400
No. Where the hell has that come
from?
434
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:45,840
I just found it, OK? Before you say
anything, I wasn't looking.
435
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,000
I just found it. Found what?
436
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,000
Drugs...ruin... ..lives.
437
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,320
Do you understand me? Yeah, there's
certainly no point applying
438
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,240
for a job if you're an addict, Amy.
439
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,320
AMY SCOFFS
440
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,080
You know, drugs will take
y-y-your...
441
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:03,720
..your money, your time... Teeth.
..your energy. What?
442
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:10,440
Even a bit of puff can lead to blow
and then it's down the K-hole.
443
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:13,080
Before you know it,
you're smoking the dragon.
444
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:14,880
Dragon? If that's...
It's heroin, isn't it?
445
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,600
I'm not taking drugs, Mum.
446
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:20,200
Oh, just... Don't lie to us, Amy,
please. Ugh.
447
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,200
I could be banned for life by the
International Olympic Committee
448
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:24,680
for even having it in the house.
449
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,760
Yeah, but you don't compete any
more. If I was still competing.
450
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:31,120
I found it in your coat,
in the inside pocket, OK?
451
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,040
Yeah, that's...that's not mine.
452
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,680
Oh, come off it.
453
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:35,720
Please.
454
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,600
Well, it's your old coat, Mum.
455
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:40,680
I've just been borrowing it.
456
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,880
I didn't even know it
had an inside pocket.
457
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:47,400
Is it your coat?
458
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,000
Well, yeah, originally...
459
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:52,120
..but what are we saying, that I put
it there in the '90s
460
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,120
and then I forgot all about it?
461
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:55,400
Because that's...
462
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:56,640
I mean, that's...
463
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,600
Yeah...
464
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,640
I don't even touch drugs.
They're for losers.
465
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:04,880
Well, they're... Yes, they are.
466
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,360
Hmm, yeah... It's just hash.
467
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:08,440
It's not even that's strong.
But it's disgusting.
468
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,080
Well, you know, if taken
carefully with friends,
469
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,440
hash can be really quite fun,
actually, but I get your...
470
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,480
Wait, sorry - are you warning us off
drugs or suggesting we take them?
471
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:20,400
Yeah. The message.
Yes, I'm saying...
472
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,800
Yeah, let's throw it out.
473
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,760
It's probably gone off anyway.
It's been there that long.
474
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:26,200
It's wrapped in clingfilm, though...
475
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:27,240
It must have gone off.
476
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:28,520
Yeah, yeah. We could Google it.
477
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:29,680
No! No. Don't Google it.
478
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:30,720
No. Heavens, no. No.
479
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,520
I could be arrested.
480
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:33,560
SHE INHALES
481
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,480
DOORBELL RINGS
Oh, good. That's Robin.
482
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:40,200
OK, Sam, I need you to come and film
some action footage for the channel.
483
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:41,280
Just say no!
484
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:43,600
HEAVY METAL MUSIC
485
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:44,720
Yeah!
486
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,800
Paul4Archery!
487
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:55,920
Hi! This is Paul Jessop
from Paul4Archery.
488
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,840
Please do subscribe below.
489
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:03,320
Now, today I'm working on my
full-body fitness with some cycling.
490
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:07,200
If archery's all about the arms
and the chest, then cycling
491
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,760
is a great way to fill in those
fitness gaps and spend some time
492
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,680
with our old friends, the legs.
493
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,240
Let's do this.
494
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,920
All right, Dad. Got it.
495
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:17,960
PAUL GASPS
496
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,520
LAUGHTER
You all right, Paolo?
497
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,920
The saddle. It's the saddle.
498
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,880
It's really, er...
499
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,080
I'm compromising, yeah?
500
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:27,680
I think I'm getting a callus.
501
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:28,840
Yeah, that will happen.
502
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,680
My arse is basically one big callus
now, to be honest.
503
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,040
Oh, the thighs as well.
My thighs are on fire.
504
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:35,080
Yeah. Mm. Yeah.
505
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,960
Argh. Tell you what, you should join
us for the old Ampthill-Bedford loop
506
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,640
we're doing on Sunday morning.
Steady on.
507
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,560
That'll certainly toughen up the old
buns, Paolo.
508
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,680
I don't think he's quite ready
for that, is he? Look at him.
509
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,160
What? I'm ready, boy.
510
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:47,560
I was born ready.
511
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:48,840
Oh! Watch your feet.
512
00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:52,360
Don't tell Rachel.
513
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,280
Yeah, so, er...
514
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,640
Heh, how long is that?
515
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:56,840
What are we talking?
516
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:58,680
It's only a...
I don't know, 45K or something?
517
00:19:58,760 --> 00:19:59,720
Yeah, it's a shorty.
518
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,960
I'm down. Let's do it.
519
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,920
All right. Sweet.
520
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,920
God, why is it so heavy?
521
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,680
Have you packed an anvil or
something?
522
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,120
No, no. Just a few essentials.
523
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:15,320
Jigsaw, me three Jack Reachers,
Strepsils, me bins.
524
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:16,720
That kind of thing.
525
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,320
"Bins" as in binoculars?
526
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,440
Yeah. You'll not be doing any
bird-watching, Sue,
527
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:21,480
you'll be in hospital.
528
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,920
Yeah, but I can ask
for a window bed.
529
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,120
No, that's not something you can do.
530
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,880
Anyway, you'll be in and out.
531
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,600
You're having a hip replacement,
not going on a cruise.
532
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,320
Well, you never know, do you?
533
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,560
I've made a will just in case.
534
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:35,640
Oh, can I have the car?
535
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,320
No! I want the car!
536
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,560
Granny, I should get the car.
537
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,440
No-one's having the car.
538
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,760
She's going to be absolutely fine.
539
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:46,480
Amy, get a job and you'll be
able to buy your own car.
540
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,040
Ugh. Thanks for helping me.
541
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:49,400
ENGINE REVS
542
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:50,720
Oh, my God!
543
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:51,840
HORN BLARES
544
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,480
Man down, man down!
Everything's going to be OK.
545
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:54,760
Let's get this door open!
546
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,080
What do you mean, "Man down"?
547
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,800
It's going to be OK, mate.
Oh, my God!
548
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,000
Don't slide him! What's happened?
549
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,200
PAUL YELPS
550
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,200
Oh, no! Oh, me lovely Paul!
551
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:04,840
Everything's going to be OK.
552
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,720
It all got a bit much for Paolo
and he sort of seized up,
553
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,400
didn't he, babe?
554
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,280
Yeah, and he's got a bit of
a bum bleed going on and all.
555
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:14,440
Thankfully, though, my seats
are leatherette so I can
556
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:15,640
just wipe 'em down.
557
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,080
Oh, are you all right, Paul?
558
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,880
Yeah, yeah, I'm OK.
I just took on too much, that's all.
559
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,400
His eyes were bigger than his legs.
560
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:22,440
And his arse, to be fair!
561
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,640
I could do with some Savlon, though.
Has anyone got any Savlon?
562
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,120
Oh, Savlon. I've got Savlon.
Sammy, in me suitcase,
563
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,360
I've got a big tub of it.
564
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:29,480
What do you think it was, then?
565
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,040
Well, yeah, it was an
incredibly long route, Rachel.
566
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:34,160
It's 45K. You stopped at 11, mate.
567
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:35,400
It'll be friction.
568
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,800
You know, some kind of
saddle sore on the buns.
569
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,120
No, it'll be piles. I know it.
570
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,680
Huh? Yeah. Piles? Yeah.
571
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,080
What? Let me see. No, don't...
It can't be, can it? Huh?
572
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:47,720
Oh, yeah, definitely piles.
I can see through the Lycra.
573
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,600
I can see them. Really?
574
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:50,920
Hey, no! Stop it, stop it!
575
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,520
Stop looking! Mum, please! Can I
just get inside, please, ladies?
576
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,960
Well, no, we were about to take Sue
to hospital for her hip operation,
577
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,280
so... Oh, God, Mum, yeah, of course.
I'm sorry, I...
578
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:01,080
Yeah, well, I think you should come
too, then they can check your
579
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:02,800
undercarriage when
they're doing my hip.
580
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:05,360
I think that's smart. That's wise.
I think that's wise.
581
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,440
That's all right, I just need to
stretch out my quads,
582
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:08,480
you know, and it'll be fine.
583
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,000
I mean, at least, I hope it's fine -
584
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,240
I've got that sports day on
Wednesday. Yeah, you'll be fine.
585
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:13,360
You'll be fine. Just, can you...
586
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,440
Sam, don't film him
when he's like this.
587
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:20,120
Dad's sports day's starting
any second, Mum. Yep, thanks, Sam.
588
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,160
How'd it go? Didn't get it. OK.
589
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:28,560
Oh, OK, quick.
590
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:29,800
It's already started.
591
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,360
OK, and now, handing out the prizes
themselves,
592
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:37,160
I'd like you all to welcome a real
local sporting hero, an Olympian
593
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:43,200
who competed for Great Britain in
the 2004 Olympic Games in archery.
594
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:47,400
He is the greatest athlete that
Brickhill Park School has ever
595
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:50,200
produced, according to his website.
596
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,560
Please give it up for, er...
597
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,440
..Paul Jessop!
598
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,600
APPLAUSE
Yes!
599
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,080
Woo!
600
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:01,800
PAUL GROANS
601
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,760
Just keep on moving,
keep on moving...
602
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,760
PAUL WHIMPERS
603
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,040
Yep...
604
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:14,760
HE GROANS AND WHIMPERS
605
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:18,240
HE FARTS
606
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:19,440
Oh, my God.
607
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,000
I'm cool.
APPLAUSE
608
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:23,880
I'm cool, I'm cool.
609
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,920
I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cool.
610
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,040
I'm cool.
611
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,160
HE YELPS
612
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:31,280
Jesus.
613
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:34,440
Thank you.
614
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:37,120
Thank you.
615
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,080
As an elite-level sportsman...
616
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:48,760
..I need to keep my mind
and body in tiptop shape.
617
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:50,640
Oh, my God, I can't watch.
618
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,040
I'm going to find the loo.
619
00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:57,040
My new tube... My new YouTube
channel, Paul4Archery...
620
00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:59,920
HE STUTTERS
621
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,640
A 4 for the word "for".
622
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:07,640
..is a one-stop shop to hone both
your interest in archery
623
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:11,160
and your overall bodily fitnessss...
624
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:16,040
..with my regular instructional
and inspirational videos.
625
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:18,080
I'm going to have to sit down, sir.
626
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:19,800
I'm so, so sorry, everyone.
627
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,800
Robin, my bag. Yeah.
628
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:23,640
Let's get on the bag.
629
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,840
PAUL GRUNTS
OK.
630
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,640
Oh, no. That looks good.
Not the bow.
631
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:30,280
Er, thank you, Paul.
632
00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:31,840
Thank you, everyone.
633
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:35,720
OK, so the first award is
for the 1,500 metres,
634
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:39,160
which was won by
Sebastian Sinclair-Hall!
635
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:40,280
Woo! Yeah?
636
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,760
He's also won 800 metres.
637
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,920
Aww. Well done, darling!
638
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,040
Woo!
639
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:50,920
Woo!
640
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,680
Well done, darling.
641
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:58,400
Big sort of meeting you had
to get to, was it, yeah? Oh!
642
00:24:58,480 --> 00:24:59,960
Hello again. Yeah.
643
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,080
No, I just wanted to see Sebby
collect his award. Oh.
644
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:04,800
We're a very supportive family.
645
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:11,520
That's your, erm, Olympian husband,
is it? Up there on the bean bag?
646
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,680
Er... Uh-huh.
647
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:17,240
You know, Kim, I get that we might
not have been the best of friends
648
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:20,520
at school, but...
We weren't friends at all, Rachel.
649
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,800
You used to call me Kim Shit-hair.
650
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,240
No... No...
651
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:26,880
That was a few of us.
652
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,760
And your haircut at the time
was a bit...
653
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:33,040
We hung out, though, at lunch.
654
00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:36,400
Not really. No. No, you were
usually off getting stoned.
655
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,960
Well, even so, that's no reason
to take it out on my daughter.
656
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:42,440
Sorry, er, what do you mean?
657
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:43,760
It's a basic office job.
658
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:44,920
She could do it in her sleep.
659
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,440
Oh, it wasn't because of you.
660
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,080
No, I didn't give her the job
661
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:51,680
because she said it sounded "very
boring" and that she didn't want
662
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,360
to work for a - and I quote -
"massive bitch".
663
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:58,520
So, as a career adviser, you might
want to work on her attitude.
664
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,960
There you go. Well done.
APPLAUSE
665
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:05,160
Sebby, well done! Just so proud.
We're both so proud of you.
666
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:08,960
OK, moving on to something
won by someone else,
667
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:13,680
er, and this award going to the
600 metres swimming...
668
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,960
A few people questioning Dad's
athletic prowess in the toilets.
669
00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:25,000
What? What is it?
670
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,760
I'm very proud of you, you know.
671
00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:29,520
What for?
672
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,160
Just for who you are.
673
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:34,880
OK.
674
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:36,040
APPLAUSE
675
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,240
I'm never doing a
fitness video ever again.
676
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,800
Yeah. My body can't hack it.
677
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,200
Yeah, well, I've got some
good painkillers at home.
678
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,080
Great. Mm.
679
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:52,200
HE SIGHS
680
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,000
Come on, let's get out of
here as fast as we can.
681
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,240
Agh...
682
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:06,640
Mum!
683
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,920
What's that music? It's, like, 2am.
684
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,480
What the hell are they doing?
685
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:17,920
# I'll take you higher
686
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,800
# I'll take you higher
I'll take you higher
687
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:21,560
# I'll take you
higher and higher... #
688
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,240
Erm... Hello.
689
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:25,560
You're up.
690
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,600
Are you smoking a joint out here?
691
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,720
What? No!
692
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,840
Just a small one.
693
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,520
THEY GIGGLE
694
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,560
Ah, you know. Sit down. Join us.
695
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,000
Join you? Are you serious?
696
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,200
I've got school in the morning.
697
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,160
Oh, yeah, yeah.
698
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,080
Amy, then? No, no, definitely not.
699
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,120
Unless you want social services
to take us away.
700
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:51,120
Well, might not be bad, actually.
701
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,400
THEY LAUGH
702
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,240
PAUL GROANS
703
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,440
Oh, no. Oh... Are you OK?
704
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,240
Oh, don't worry, he always does
this.
705
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,520
He's, er... He's pulling a whitey.
706
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,280
Huh? No, it's off.
707
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:05,800
It's...it's definitely gone off.
708
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,000
Yeah, right. Uh-huh.
709
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:10,440
Come on.
710
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:12,440
All right, fine.
711
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:14,760
It's not like I've got work to go
to.
712
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:15,920
Atta girl.
713
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,240
I'm going to bed.
714
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:18,920
Night, losers.
715
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,120
Goodnight. Love you.
716
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,240
Yeah.
717
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,320
You all right, Paul?
718
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:27,760
Yeah, he's gone.
719
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,080
AMY GIGGLES
720
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:31,680
Oh, God.
721
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,600
# Come and feel my energy
722
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,960
# Let's be as one in soul and mind
723
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:44,360
# I'll fill your world with ecstasy
724
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:51,080
# Touch all your dreams
deep down inside
725
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,200
# Let me be your fantasy... #
54056
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