All language subtitles for Harlem - 01x02 - Saturn Returns.AMZN.WEBRip.x264-CAKES+GalaxyTV+ION10+MZABI+PSA.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,091 ♪ Harlem ♪ 2 00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:09,927 [soulful rock music] 3 00:00:09,928 --> 00:00:12,971 ♪ Harlem ♪ 4 00:00:12,972 --> 00:00:15,266 [Camille] They say if you don't learn from the past, 5 00:00:15,267 --> 00:00:17,058 you're bound to repeat it. 6 00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:19,103 Inherent in that expression is the assumption 7 00:00:19,104 --> 00:00:21,021 that repeating history is bad, 8 00:00:21,022 --> 00:00:22,397 something to avoid. 9 00:00:22,398 --> 00:00:25,338 ♪ Cause a ruckus in the Rucker... ♪ 10 00:00:25,339 --> 00:00:28,278 However, here, in the Harlem of today, 11 00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:31,531 anthropologists tell us that by learning who we were, 12 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:34,869 what the city was, we might get lucky enough to repeat it. 13 00:00:34,870 --> 00:00:36,579 Now, how you gonna be a freelance palm reader? 14 00:00:36,580 --> 00:00:38,289 [chuckles] It's possible. [Nikki] No business. 15 00:00:38,290 --> 00:00:40,081 Should I try right now? 16 00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:43,335 Ooh, now, this is a Saturn aspect on your lifeline... 17 00:00:43,336 --> 00:00:45,087 very powerful stuff. 18 00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:46,796 Ooh. 19 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,987 But a big mistake is coming back right to get you. 20 00:00:49,988 --> 00:00:53,230 The mistake was agreeing to pay you for this bullshit. 21 00:00:53,231 --> 00:00:56,474 [scoffs] You know, hostility is like the new smoking. 22 00:00:56,475 --> 00:00:57,808 You only hurting yourself. 23 00:00:57,809 --> 00:00:59,434 Whatever. 24 00:00:59,435 --> 00:01:01,812 Anyway, ladies, would anyone else like a palm reading? 25 00:01:01,813 --> 00:01:03,564 [both] No. 26 00:01:03,565 --> 00:01:05,315 Namaste. 27 00:01:05,316 --> 00:01:07,777 Nama-don't stay. Namast-go. 28 00:01:07,778 --> 00:01:09,360 [laughs] 29 00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:11,070 I must have one of those, too. 30 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,865 A broke-ass cousin who makes up nonsense? 31 00:01:12,866 --> 00:01:15,659 No, a past mistake coming back. 32 00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:17,161 Ian was at the club. 33 00:01:17,162 --> 00:01:18,661 What? Tonight? 34 00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,163 And you're just now saying something? 35 00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:22,792 I spent three plates of rice and beans listening to Quinn 36 00:01:22,793 --> 00:01:24,667 rank the Jonas Brothers. 37 00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:27,003 You couldn't have cut in with that information? 38 00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,340 Saturn must really want you two to be together. 39 00:01:29,341 --> 00:01:32,092 Well, my apologies to Saturn. 40 00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:33,843 I got this close to him. 41 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:36,388 No, I just... I lost all my nerve. 42 00:01:36,389 --> 00:01:39,391 [steady music] 43 00:01:39,392 --> 00:01:43,019 ♪ ♪ 44 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:45,189 [glass shatters] 45 00:01:45,190 --> 00:01:47,232 ♪ ♪ 46 00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:49,819 [clears throat] Wow, she's good. 47 00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:54,197 ♪ ♪ 48 00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:56,742 He wasn't supposed to be there. He threw me off my whole shit. 49 00:01:56,743 --> 00:01:59,411 Four years later, and that nigga still has a hold on you. 50 00:01:59,412 --> 00:02:01,330 That's some serious dick energy right there. 51 00:02:01,331 --> 00:02:02,455 What's dick energy? 52 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,499 How is it I know and you don't? 53 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,961 It's when a man's stroke is so enchanting 54 00:02:06,962 --> 00:02:08,378 that the ghost of his penis 55 00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:10,464 sort of haunts your vagina like an old house. 56 00:02:10,465 --> 00:02:12,716 Oh, I guess I haven't had that pleasure. 57 00:02:12,717 --> 00:02:15,052 Well, I sling serious dick energy, 58 00:02:15,053 --> 00:02:16,553 and I don't even have one. 59 00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:19,640 You are so nas... Stop doing that at the table! 60 00:02:19,641 --> 00:02:21,371 I am not this woman! 61 00:02:21,372 --> 00:02:23,101 I don't run from an ex. 62 00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:24,561 I'm the "tell your followers 63 00:02:24,562 --> 00:02:26,751 to be brave and face their fears" woman. 64 00:02:26,752 --> 00:02:28,847 Yeah, but to run into Ian like that? 65 00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:31,188 In all of the bars in New York... 66 00:02:31,189 --> 00:02:33,463 No, no, this has to be a sign. 67 00:02:33,464 --> 00:02:35,738 Or signs are woo-woo bullshit, 68 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,658 and her ex is just in town visiting. 69 00:02:37,659 --> 00:02:39,033 No, wait. That's what it is. 70 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,452 Paul and Brittany's engagement party. 71 00:02:40,453 --> 00:02:41,995 That's why he's in town. 72 00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:44,206 We're the ones who introduced them in the first place. 73 00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:46,291 And now they're engaged? 74 00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:48,127 Why don't you ever introduce me to anybody? 75 00:02:48,128 --> 00:02:50,378 Baby, the thirst is real. 76 00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:53,464 It was actually supposed to be a joke. 77 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,258 They are the corniest friends that we have, 78 00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:57,344 and Ian thought it would be funny to go on a double date, 79 00:02:57,345 --> 00:02:59,846 And it turns out that corny gets corny. 80 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:02,308 If Ian's going, then I'm coming down with the flu. 81 00:03:02,309 --> 00:03:04,518 Says Mrs. Don't Run Away From An Ex. 82 00:03:04,519 --> 00:03:05,685 Mm. 83 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,146 Well, I can't be black girl magic all the time. 84 00:03:07,147 --> 00:03:08,480 [Tye chuckles] 85 00:03:08,481 --> 00:03:09,815 - Hello! - Hi! 86 00:03:09,816 --> 00:03:11,567 So good! 87 00:03:11,568 --> 00:03:13,318 I'm sorry! 88 00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:15,445 So? Who was he? 89 00:03:15,446 --> 00:03:17,572 A producer! 90 00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:20,618 I told you that open-mic night was gonna be good. 91 00:03:20,619 --> 00:03:23,328 - "Brothers Pictures." - Black owned? 92 00:03:23,329 --> 00:03:25,831 And he said they have a major project "in the works" 93 00:03:25,832 --> 00:03:28,334 and he wants me to come to their offices tomorrow. 94 00:03:28,335 --> 00:03:30,251 - Aah! - Holy shit! 95 00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:33,087 - That's my girl! - That's me, that's me. 96 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,549 You see? I knew it. Your dream is coming true! 97 00:03:35,550 --> 00:03:37,760 It's like the great Lady Gaga once said, 98 00:03:37,761 --> 00:03:39,385 "You can get 99 nos"... 99 00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:40,429 I'm gonna stop you right there! 100 00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:42,723 [both] Thank you. 101 00:03:42,724 --> 00:03:43,806 Waiter! 102 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:46,142 [smooth music] 103 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,895 Tye, I appreciate the chivalry, 104 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,731 but we passed your place two stops ago. 105 00:03:50,732 --> 00:03:52,315 Three. 106 00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:55,027 I just want to make sure you're really okay about seeing Ian. 107 00:03:55,028 --> 00:03:57,528 Yes. That was a long time ago. 108 00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,280 I'm fine... I just don't see the upside 109 00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:01,032 of hanging with him at some wack party. 110 00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:03,661 Ian's, like, the one thing that can get you all... 111 00:04:03,662 --> 00:04:06,038 Why? [crying] 112 00:04:06,039 --> 00:04:08,415 [melancholy music] 113 00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:11,960 That was a long time ago, okay? 114 00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:14,567 I appreciate the concern, but I am fine. 115 00:04:14,568 --> 00:04:16,621 [sighs] It's just all these years later, 116 00:04:16,622 --> 00:04:18,676 are we really still talking about Ian? 117 00:04:18,677 --> 00:04:19,926 Not if you don't want to. 118 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,470 I don't, so let's talk about anything else. 119 00:04:21,471 --> 00:04:23,012 - Got it. - Yeah. 120 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:26,787 Well, I found out my Forbes interview 121 00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:29,571 has turned into a two-page spread. 122 00:04:29,572 --> 00:04:32,356 - What? - Photo shoot and everything! 123 00:04:32,357 --> 00:04:33,524 Tye, really? 124 00:04:33,525 --> 00:04:35,066 Really. 125 00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:38,612 A queer woman of color in tech is going to be in Forbes. 126 00:04:38,613 --> 00:04:40,321 Yes! All those words. 127 00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:43,074 If I was the kind of person that said corny things 128 00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:45,828 about how far I've come, I'd say one right now. 129 00:04:45,829 --> 00:04:47,955 So how are things on the Shayla front? 130 00:04:47,956 --> 00:04:49,789 Done. That's a wrap. 131 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,166 What? That was quick even for you. 132 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:54,378 [scoffs] The problem is we work in the same building, 133 00:04:54,379 --> 00:04:56,338 - so I can't just ghost her. - Oh. 134 00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:57,797 I have to do that thing 135 00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,758 where I break up with myself for her. 136 00:04:59,759 --> 00:05:00,842 Mm. 137 00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:02,218 I get it. 138 00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,430 But I just need to work on myself 139 00:05:04,431 --> 00:05:05,972 so that I can only hope 140 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:09,601 to one day be good enough for you. 141 00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:13,813 [laughter] 142 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,295 That's good, though... face-to-face breakup. 143 00:05:16,296 --> 00:05:18,766 Look at you, giving up your fuckboi degree. 144 00:05:18,767 --> 00:05:21,238 #Growth! You know what I'm talking about! 145 00:05:21,239 --> 00:05:23,698 [both grunting goofily] 146 00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:27,619 Over time, the culture of a place evolves 147 00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:30,706 as new people and new ideas move in. 148 00:05:30,707 --> 00:05:33,062 But the question is... 149 00:05:33,063 --> 00:05:35,418 how much of the past 150 00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:38,234 should be respectfully preserved? 151 00:05:38,235 --> 00:05:41,050 And how much should be discarded 152 00:05:41,051 --> 00:05:43,176 in order to evolve? 153 00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:46,096 Upload your essays by tomorrow night. 154 00:05:46,097 --> 00:05:47,473 I'll see you next week. 155 00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:59,026 Amazing lecture, Professor Parks. 156 00:05:59,027 --> 00:06:00,819 Top ten of the semester. 157 00:06:00,820 --> 00:06:02,613 No, top five... top three. 158 00:06:02,614 --> 00:06:04,031 Thank you, Nora. 159 00:06:04,032 --> 00:06:05,448 How do you do it? 160 00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:07,826 Uh... [chuckles] Thank you again, Nora. 161 00:06:07,827 --> 00:06:09,660 No, literally, how do you do it? 162 00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,975 How much is prep... [Robin] Camille! Camille! 163 00:06:11,976 --> 00:06:14,291 Jemele Hill and the other panelists just arrived 164 00:06:14,292 --> 00:06:15,751 for the woman's rally. 165 00:06:15,752 --> 00:06:17,210 You gonna drop by? 166 00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:19,504 Watch my speech, join the pithy chants. 167 00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:21,799 - [door closes] - I'm definitely gonna try. 168 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,466 That means definitely no. 169 00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:26,303 Oh, Dr. Goodman, I'm going to the rally. 170 00:06:26,304 --> 00:06:27,596 I'll walk with you. 171 00:06:27,597 --> 00:06:28,888 Definitely try. 172 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,598 [♪ Leikeli47: "Girl Blunt"] 173 00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,059 ♪ What you say? What that mean? I don't know ♪ 174 00:06:32,060 --> 00:06:33,476 [door closes] 175 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:35,582 ♪ Top shelf, bitch, I'm on the honor roll ♪ 176 00:06:35,583 --> 00:06:37,845 ♪ Hot fire, make your nigga stop and roll ♪ 177 00:06:37,846 --> 00:06:40,109 ♪ That booty ooshy jiggle like a jelly roll ♪ 178 00:06:40,110 --> 00:06:41,631 ♪ Damn ♪ 179 00:06:41,632 --> 00:06:43,152 Camille? 180 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,239 - [gasps] - Oh, my God, Brittany! 181 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:46,697 Hi! 182 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,826 - You're still going to Tony? - Yes, every two weeks. 183 00:06:48,827 --> 00:06:50,953 I can't believe you introduced me 184 00:06:50,954 --> 00:06:53,079 to my future husband and my stylist. 185 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,040 [chuckles] Well, don't you owe me a finder's fee? 186 00:06:55,041 --> 00:06:58,127 Anything, girl. And half goes to Ian. 187 00:06:58,128 --> 00:06:59,210 Sorry. 188 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:01,337 Oh, God. Sorry. 189 00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:03,047 I shouldn't have mentioned Ian. 190 00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:05,217 Don't be crazy. It's fine. We're fine. 191 00:07:05,218 --> 00:07:06,801 - Oh, good. - Yeah. 192 00:07:06,802 --> 00:07:09,283 Because I was so worried you'd do something silly 193 00:07:09,284 --> 00:07:11,765 like not show up to my party to avoid seeing him. 194 00:07:11,766 --> 00:07:13,100 - [chuckles] - No, what am I, 12? 195 00:07:13,101 --> 00:07:14,892 - No! - No. 196 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:16,561 Yes, of course I'm coming, you know? 197 00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,229 - I-I'm dying to come. - Oh, good. 198 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,149 Like, literally nothing but death would keep me from it, 199 00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:22,067 and even if I do die, I want them to dump 200 00:07:22,068 --> 00:07:23,568 my dead body at that damn party. 201 00:07:23,569 --> 00:07:25,070 - [laughs] - Don't make it weird. 202 00:07:25,071 --> 00:07:27,196 - Copy that. - Mm-hmm. 203 00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:30,826 Sister Angie, Queen Angie, I'm Cole Thompson. 204 00:07:30,827 --> 00:07:32,932 And welcome to Brother Pictures. 205 00:07:32,933 --> 00:07:35,038 Mm-hmm. It's nice to meet you. 206 00:07:35,039 --> 00:07:36,164 We are a collective 207 00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:38,292 of Black artists for Black audiences... 208 00:07:38,293 --> 00:07:39,542 Mm. 209 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,753 Working across the entire African diaspora, 210 00:07:41,754 --> 00:07:43,755 looking to educate and inspire. 211 00:07:43,756 --> 00:07:45,256 Mm. 212 00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:48,885 The Black voice will no longer be asphyxiated 213 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:52,848 by the transmutation to the Eurocentric perspective. 214 00:07:52,849 --> 00:07:55,017 So... is it a movie? 215 00:07:55,018 --> 00:07:57,185 It's a revolution! 216 00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:58,978 The Black story will be told 217 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,648 by the Black voice through a Black gaze. 218 00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:03,984 Okay, hold up. You're using a lot of words. 219 00:08:03,985 --> 00:08:06,320 You trying to Hotep me into doing porn? 220 00:08:06,321 --> 00:08:07,320 - No! - Okay, good. 221 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:08,906 'Cause I been there, and I done that. 222 00:08:08,907 --> 00:08:10,573 Yeah, me too. 223 00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:14,953 It's a new dawn where we dare to free ourselves 224 00:08:14,954 --> 00:08:17,080 from the white man's story construct 225 00:08:17,081 --> 00:08:19,040 and define a new art. 226 00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:22,293 - Mm. - A true Black art. 227 00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:25,609 - That's what's up. - My sister, are you ready 228 00:08:25,610 --> 00:08:28,926 to be part of something that's about something? 229 00:08:28,927 --> 00:08:31,991 Okay, yes. So what we doing? 230 00:08:31,992 --> 00:08:35,057 It's Get Out, the musical... 231 00:08:35,058 --> 00:08:37,226 on Broadway. 232 00:08:37,227 --> 00:08:40,061 Yeah. 233 00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,688 I told that emancipated nigga, 234 00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,022 "Hell fucking no." 235 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,442 Oh, my God, Angie. Customer. 236 00:08:45,443 --> 00:08:47,360 Sorry. 237 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,905 I said, "No, thank you," to that emancipated nigga. 238 00:08:49,906 --> 00:08:51,113 I cannot believe 239 00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:53,282 that you're turning down a potential singing job. 240 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,452 I can't believe that you would think that I would say yes 241 00:08:55,453 --> 00:08:58,121 to singing in the chorus of a Get Out musical? 242 00:08:58,122 --> 00:09:00,644 Is that the best you think that I can get? 243 00:09:00,645 --> 00:09:03,168 You know, thanks, for the vote of confidence. 244 00:09:03,169 --> 00:09:04,168 Whoa. 245 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,503 Okay, How did your job offer 246 00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:06,984 somehow turn into my fault? 247 00:09:06,985 --> 00:09:08,621 And please don't eat there. 248 00:09:08,622 --> 00:09:10,259 Employees need a break room. 249 00:09:10,260 --> 00:09:12,156 Employees need to work. 250 00:09:12,157 --> 00:09:14,054 [door rattles open] 251 00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:16,348 Oh, my God! 252 00:09:16,349 --> 00:09:18,641 Retro-chic! 253 00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,560 Oh, my God, I am dead! 254 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,478 Oh, my God! I'm dead! 255 00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,606 - Angie, are you not dead? - Yeah, dead. 256 00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:26,649 Oh, my gosh. You look amazing! 257 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,484 And the proceeds from your purchase 258 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,799 will go to feed four homeless New Yorkers. 259 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,115 So it's like a splurge without the guilt. 260 00:09:33,116 --> 00:09:34,991 I need to think about it. 261 00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:36,868 It's a dress, not a house. 262 00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:37,911 Angie. 263 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,665 She's joking. She's joking. 264 00:09:41,666 --> 00:09:43,749 [laughs] 265 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,877 Can you not insult the customers? 266 00:09:45,878 --> 00:09:47,003 She is not a customer. 267 00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,505 She's a "needs to think about it." 268 00:09:48,506 --> 00:09:49,922 - [sighs] - She comes in here 269 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,342 three, four, five times a week just looking at shit. 270 00:09:52,343 --> 00:09:54,386 She a professional window shopper. 271 00:09:54,387 --> 00:09:56,095 Shit! Shit! 272 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,911 Girl, if that's the Amex bill, I can explain. 273 00:09:58,912 --> 00:10:01,727 No, no, the landlord is jacking the rent again. 274 00:10:01,728 --> 00:10:03,144 Did you take my Amex? 275 00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:04,896 Girl, don't stress yourself out about that 276 00:10:04,897 --> 00:10:06,564 with that new rent news. 277 00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:09,379 Oh, my God, another $2,500 a month? 278 00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:12,194 I'm barely covering it as it is. 279 00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:15,323 I cannot ask my parents for more money. 280 00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:17,951 Okay, you just try to sell some more stuff around here. 281 00:10:17,952 --> 00:10:20,495 I don't literally try to do that every single day? 282 00:10:20,496 --> 00:10:22,372 Okay, you are using your cunt voice. 283 00:10:22,373 --> 00:10:24,041 [sighs] Sorry. Sorry. 284 00:10:24,042 --> 00:10:25,249 It's okay. 285 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,044 [sighs] It's just that it's not just asking 286 00:10:27,045 --> 00:10:28,336 my parents for more money. 287 00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:30,963 It's that "poor you" look on my mom's face 288 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:35,802 and followed by the obligatory "you need a husband" lecture. 289 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:37,595 God, like I forgot I was single? 290 00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:40,556 - Mm-hmm. - Thanks for the reminder, Mom. 291 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:43,143 No, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna ask her. 292 00:10:43,144 --> 00:10:44,936 I won't. 293 00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:46,730 I agree. 294 00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,360 Except I have no choice but to ask her. 295 00:10:51,361 --> 00:10:53,153 And again, I agree. 296 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,491 [Quinn] Okay, let's make this meal quick. 297 00:10:57,492 --> 00:10:59,742 I'll get the check, and we get out. 298 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:02,788 Okay, it is your money. Who are all those people? 299 00:11:02,789 --> 00:11:05,207 Our tense family dinner is now a party? 300 00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:06,624 Quinn! 301 00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:09,586 What a casually dressed surprise. 302 00:11:09,587 --> 00:11:11,587 - Angela. - Hey, Ms. Pat. 303 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,714 Daddy said it would be just us. 304 00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,383 Oh, he's still stuck at the office. 305 00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:17,636 He didn't tell you that we're hosting a fundraiser? 306 00:11:17,637 --> 00:11:20,138 No. I definitely would have remembered that. 307 00:11:20,139 --> 00:11:22,181 Quinn. 308 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,683 Oh, my God. Is that Damien? 309 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,184 That is definitely Damien. 310 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,771 - He looks so good. - Girl, you messed up. 311 00:11:27,772 --> 00:11:29,730 - Good to see you. - You too. 312 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,962 Oh, that's right. You two know each other. 313 00:11:31,963 --> 00:11:34,194 Only from the entire year that we dated, Mom. 314 00:11:34,195 --> 00:11:37,114 Well, say hello to his wife, Tina. 315 00:11:37,115 --> 00:11:39,573 Oh, nice to... 316 00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:41,910 meet the both of you! 317 00:11:41,911 --> 00:11:43,285 [laughs] 318 00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:46,038 Wow! The two of you. [laughs] 319 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:49,084 You look so... happy. You're so happy. 320 00:11:49,085 --> 00:11:51,127 Everybody's happy! 321 00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:52,420 [laughs] I'm gonna go now. 322 00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:55,590 No, you're here now. You must meet Isabela. 323 00:11:55,591 --> 00:11:56,799 Quinn. 324 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,593 Your mom has told me so much about you. 325 00:11:58,594 --> 00:12:00,928 Mm. Any of it positive? 326 00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:03,473 Quinn, this is Isabela Benítez-Santiago. 327 00:12:03,474 --> 00:12:05,015 She will beat AOC's record 328 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,621 as the youngest member of Congress. 329 00:12:06,622 --> 00:12:08,738 Um, I've got to win first, but... 330 00:12:08,739 --> 00:12:10,855 Details. Isabela's an advocate 331 00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:13,190 for people of color and poor people 332 00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:16,131 and poor people of color, very intersectional. 333 00:12:16,132 --> 00:12:19,072 I think she would make a wonderful mentor for you. 334 00:12:19,073 --> 00:12:21,282 Great. I was literally just saying 335 00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:24,473 how much I needed a mentor who was much younger. 336 00:12:24,474 --> 00:12:27,664 So you said you have something to talk about. 337 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,250 Uh, well... 338 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,836 Oh, Quinn's business is failing, 339 00:12:32,837 --> 00:12:34,378 and she needs money fast. 340 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:36,130 - Thank you. - I'm sorry, girl. 341 00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:39,634 I can't think. Hot Damien has a pregnant wife. 342 00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:40,885 [chuckles angrily] 343 00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:44,473 Just a splash more gin. Uh-uh, big splash. 344 00:12:44,474 --> 00:12:46,140 Pour it! Pour it! Pour it! Pour it! 345 00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:47,850 Don't be greedy. It's not yours, come on. 346 00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,895 For the love of God, just give her the whole bottle. 347 00:12:49,896 --> 00:12:51,959 Oh, thanks, Mrs. J! 348 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,023 All right, so how much? 349 00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:56,276 [clears throat] Well, it's just that the landlord 350 00:12:56,277 --> 00:12:59,654 is suddenly raising the rent again, so... 351 00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:00,989 $2,500. 352 00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:04,867 Just a loving thought, dear... 353 00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:07,766 instead of me giving you money to keep your business afloat 354 00:13:07,767 --> 00:13:10,665 and then you turn around and give that money to charity, 355 00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:12,438 why don't we just cut out the middleman, 356 00:13:12,439 --> 00:13:14,211 and I write you a check for your charity? 357 00:13:14,212 --> 00:13:16,463 But I'm a designer, Mom. 358 00:13:16,464 --> 00:13:18,422 Of course you are. 359 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:21,676 But your father and I cannot be your only paying customers. 360 00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:22,885 You're not. 361 00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:25,889 I just need a little more seed money, and then... 362 00:13:25,890 --> 00:13:27,766 And then and then and then... 363 00:13:27,767 --> 00:13:29,725 Poor Quinn. 364 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:31,520 Now not so poor Quinn. 365 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,649 Damn, Quinn. 366 00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:39,110 [sighs] The car is still nine minutes away. 367 00:13:39,111 --> 00:13:41,445 Mm. I hope he's cute. 368 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:44,366 Did I tell you I blew my last Uber driver? 369 00:13:44,367 --> 00:13:45,992 Yes, you did. 370 00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,618 [laughter] 371 00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:49,328 God, she's insufferable. 372 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,435 True, but she also wrote you a check. 373 00:13:51,436 --> 00:13:53,343 With contempt... that is not a woman 374 00:13:53,344 --> 00:13:55,252 who is happily supporting her daughter. 375 00:13:55,253 --> 00:13:56,669 Yeah, but you got it. 376 00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,922 And anytime someone gives you something for free, 377 00:13:58,923 --> 00:14:02,216 you pay in listening to their shit about it. 378 00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:05,595 And, sweetie, there are harder ways to earn $2,500. 379 00:14:05,596 --> 00:14:07,763 [sighs] I know, I know. 380 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:10,558 And I recognize my privilege. I do, and I am grateful for it. 381 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:13,353 It's just, why has she always got to be such a fucking... 382 00:14:13,354 --> 00:14:15,521 - Here's the real party. - Oh! 383 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,565 Hi. It was really great to meet you tonight. 384 00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:20,902 You are almost worth risking jury duty to register to vote. 385 00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:22,862 It's nice to meet you, too. 386 00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,823 And your mom is so cool. 387 00:14:24,824 --> 00:14:26,115 [both] Eh... 388 00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:27,950 She raised a lot of money for me tonight. 389 00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,785 Oh, well, that's because she really believes 390 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,851 in what it is you're trying to do, and that must be nice, 391 00:14:32,852 --> 00:14:35,917 because I never seem to live up to her expectations, so... 392 00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:38,419 - Mm. - That must suck. 393 00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,255 But I guess a good part of coming from nothing 394 00:14:40,256 --> 00:14:43,592 is no one ever expects anything, so... 395 00:14:43,593 --> 00:14:45,385 Let's agree to fuck expectations 396 00:14:45,386 --> 00:14:46,927 and just accept each other. 397 00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,306 Ooh, my Uber's here. Ciao, ladies. 398 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,684 She really does make a wonderful mentor. 399 00:14:52,685 --> 00:14:54,977 - [cell phone vibrates] - Car. 400 00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:58,189 Ooh, if he's cute, do not cock-block me. 401 00:14:58,190 --> 00:15:01,067 [upbeat music] 402 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:03,903 ♪ ♪ 403 00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:08,617 Mmm. That's some good wine. 404 00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:13,454 - Hey. - Shayla, hi. 405 00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,582 I actually have a meeting in a few, so... 406 00:15:15,583 --> 00:15:17,207 Oh, I do, too. 407 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:20,086 So let's just get into this. 408 00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:23,213 You are an amazing, 409 00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:25,320 intelligent, phenomenal woman. 410 00:15:25,321 --> 00:15:27,426 Look, let me stop you right there, 411 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,137 because you're the one who's phenomenal. 412 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,849 But I agree. You deserve someone better. 413 00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:34,683 - I-it's not you. - It's me. 414 00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:37,020 - And I really just need to... - Work on myself. 415 00:15:37,021 --> 00:15:39,272 [both] And it seems we're just... 416 00:15:39,273 --> 00:15:41,523 On two different paths right now. 417 00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:44,402 Wait. Are you trying to break up with me? 418 00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:46,195 It's gonna be okay. 419 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:50,533 You're obviously not happy, and you deserve someone better. 420 00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:52,889 No, you're obviously not happy, 421 00:15:52,890 --> 00:15:54,922 and you deserve someone better. 422 00:15:54,923 --> 00:15:56,711 This is my move. I do this. 423 00:15:56,712 --> 00:15:58,481 You're better off without me. 424 00:15:58,482 --> 00:16:00,250 No. No, no. No, no, no, no, no. 425 00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:03,380 I'm being selfless by letting you live without me. 426 00:16:03,381 --> 00:16:05,799 I'm the one breaking up with myself for you. 427 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,385 But are you, though? 428 00:16:08,386 --> 00:16:09,593 Oh, nuh-uh, no. 429 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:12,180 Hey, you don't get to make me the thirsty one. 430 00:16:12,181 --> 00:16:13,931 No one said "thirsty." 431 00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:16,163 Come on, now, you're better than this. 432 00:16:16,164 --> 00:16:18,843 No! I'm not better than this! You are! 433 00:16:18,844 --> 00:16:21,523 - Goodbye. - You goodbye. You goodbye! 434 00:16:21,524 --> 00:16:23,608 Ciao! Poof! Be gone! 435 00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:25,693 [sighs] Poor Tye. 436 00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:28,279 I'm sorry you are taking this so hard. 437 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:29,781 Ah! 438 00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:34,431 [stammering] I broke up with her! 439 00:16:34,432 --> 00:16:37,746 Girl, who cares who said it first? 440 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,374 You wanted to break up with her anyway! 441 00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:42,877 But that was my move! Fuck Shayla! 442 00:16:42,878 --> 00:16:45,400 Actually, fuck anybody but Shayla. 443 00:16:45,401 --> 00:16:47,923 [Angie] Now, you know what they say. 444 00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,801 The best way to get over old pussy is new pussy. 445 00:16:49,802 --> 00:16:50,926 Mm-hmm. 446 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:53,096 But, Angie, maybe they should stop 447 00:16:53,097 --> 00:16:54,639 objectifying women as pussy. 448 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:55,889 I'm just saying. 449 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:59,268 It's 2021! Women are the new men. 450 00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:01,312 Does that mean you all will stop returning my texts, too? 451 00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:02,938 [laughter] 452 00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,774 Listen, I'm just trying to get my confidence back. 453 00:17:04,775 --> 00:17:07,317 I'm gonna find me a piece, smash her, 454 00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:09,863 then smash my two-day-old beef and broccoli. 455 00:17:09,864 --> 00:17:13,199 - [laughter] - I've aged it perfectly. 456 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,536 Ooh, and speaking of aged perfectly... 457 00:17:16,537 --> 00:17:17,745 Ooh-wee! 458 00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:20,749 [club music playing] 459 00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:23,376 ♪ ♪ 460 00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:26,003 Mm, mm, mm. 461 00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:27,797 [Tye] Hey, sexy. 462 00:17:27,798 --> 00:17:29,590 Hey, sexy, yourself. 463 00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:30,841 [Quinn] And here we are... 464 00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:33,720 three straight girls who could be somewhere else. 465 00:17:33,721 --> 00:17:35,429 And where do you have to be? 466 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,182 It is Hometowns on The Bachelorette tonight. 467 00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:40,602 Girl, why would you not lie and make up something cool? 468 00:17:40,603 --> 00:17:41,685 Damn! 469 00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,438 Oh, my God, she always does this. 470 00:17:43,439 --> 00:17:44,688 Look at her go! 471 00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,774 Every time we come with her to a gay club, 472 00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:48,860 she always swears that she's gonna ride or die. 473 00:17:48,861 --> 00:17:50,360 - Oh, she gonna ride. - Mm. 474 00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:53,740 Jesus, it take me longer to order McDonald's. 475 00:17:53,741 --> 00:17:55,991 Ooh, who want's McDonald's? 476 00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:58,161 ♪ Throw it back, give it back, back, yeah ♪ 477 00:17:58,162 --> 00:18:00,162 ♪ Tag me in, I'ma tag back, yeah ♪ 478 00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:02,081 ♪ Goin' 12 rounds, hittin' back to back ♪ 479 00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:04,333 ♪ Only 12 rounds, can you handle that? 480 00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:06,585 ♪ Need a big dog for my tiny cat ♪ 481 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,880 ♪ From the windows to the walls to the welcome mat ♪ 482 00:18:08,881 --> 00:18:11,236 I never do this on the first night. 483 00:18:11,237 --> 00:18:13,593 Me either, baby, but you're special. 484 00:18:13,594 --> 00:18:14,948 Oh. Really? 485 00:18:14,949 --> 00:18:16,304 Yeah. Focus. 486 00:18:16,305 --> 00:18:20,015 ♪ ♪ 487 00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:22,101 ♪ Get some air, like whoo ♪ 488 00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,249 ♪ Grab a chair, like whoo ♪ 489 00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:26,397 ♪ Flip my hair, like whoo ♪ 490 00:18:26,398 --> 00:18:28,795 ♪ Whoo, ooh, ooh ♪ 491 00:18:28,796 --> 00:18:31,193 ♪ Whoo, whoo, whoo ♪ 492 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:33,112 ♪ Get some air, like whoo ♪ 493 00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:45,208 [chuckles] 494 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:56,322 Hello... 495 00:18:56,323 --> 00:18:58,981 Amy? 496 00:18:58,982 --> 00:19:01,640 Allison? 497 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,643 What was her name? 498 00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,355 Babe... 499 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,652 No. 500 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:17,573 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 501 00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:20,660 Yo, did this bitch eat my beef and broccoli 502 00:19:20,661 --> 00:19:21,870 and bounce? 503 00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:25,248 What the fuck? 504 00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:27,040 Aah! 505 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:28,750 ♪ Keep it fresh, dope girls ♪ 506 00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:31,880 ♪ Hop off the jet, and I'm feeling fresh ♪ 507 00:19:31,881 --> 00:19:33,214 Hi, Ian. 508 00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:34,444 Ian, right? 509 00:19:34,445 --> 00:19:35,674 Hi, Ian. 510 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,322 [sultry voice] Hi, Ian. 511 00:19:37,323 --> 00:19:38,969 [deep voice] Hi, Ian. 512 00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:41,723 ♪ Girls rockin' Baby Phat, Dookie chain on... ♪ 513 00:19:41,724 --> 00:19:44,517 [giggles] Hi, Ian. 514 00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:45,601 Hello. 515 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,853 Greetings. How's cooking school? 516 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:50,106 I hope it was worth it. [laughs] 517 00:19:50,107 --> 00:19:52,608 I hope it was worth it. 518 00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:56,049 What's good, my nigga? What's good, my nigga? 519 00:19:56,050 --> 00:19:59,490 I'm doing very well, baby. [laughing and crying] 520 00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:01,408 I'm not doing that well. 521 00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:04,203 ♪ Got a dope girl pose with my dope girl clothes ♪ 522 00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:06,372 Oh, Ian, what's up? 523 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,707 Hey! 524 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,918 ♪ Yeah, dope girls ♪ 525 00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:13,525 Hey, Ian. What's up? 526 00:20:13,526 --> 00:20:16,132 [cell phone vibrating] 527 00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:18,718 ♪ ♪ 528 00:20:18,719 --> 00:20:21,303 Hey, Robin. 529 00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:24,307 I can't. I have this party thing I have to go to. 530 00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:26,516 ♪ ♪ 531 00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,561 One drink, sure. 532 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,314 [grunts] 533 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,736 I see somebody got the party started. 534 00:20:36,737 --> 00:20:38,320 Hey. 535 00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:41,574 You like tequila? I like tequila. 536 00:20:41,575 --> 00:20:43,533 Mm. Mm, mm. 537 00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:45,370 Ah. Oh, is that for me? 538 00:20:45,371 --> 00:20:46,954 Oh, no. 539 00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:49,290 I have to go to this engagement party afterwards. 540 00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:50,687 Oh, that's sweet. 541 00:20:50,688 --> 00:20:52,084 Hey, bartender. 542 00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:53,711 Another one, now. Yeah. Yeah. [bartender] Okay. 543 00:20:53,712 --> 00:20:54,753 Coming right up. 544 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,463 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 545 00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:58,174 Are we finally celebrating? 546 00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,341 Are these the drinks 547 00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:01,009 when you tell me I'm officially full-time? 548 00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,179 In which case, this overpriced glass bowl is for you. 549 00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:04,388 [bartender] Here you go. 550 00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,932 These are the drinks where I tell you 551 00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:08,351 that I just got suspended. 552 00:21:08,352 --> 00:21:10,269 I'm out! 553 00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,187 Wait, what? 554 00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,357 - More shots, please. - [bartender] Coming right up. 555 00:21:14,358 --> 00:21:17,193 - Wait. What happened? - Mm. 556 00:21:17,194 --> 00:21:18,777 The future happened. 557 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:21,447 But instead of flying cars and vacations to the Moon, 558 00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:23,198 we got trigger warnings 559 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:25,742 and the return of cloth diapers. 560 00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:28,871 Okay, I'm not following. Why did they suspend you? 561 00:21:28,872 --> 00:21:32,000 Because of what I said at the rally yesterday. 562 00:21:32,001 --> 00:21:33,208 Or sort of said. 563 00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:35,712 I was talking about how abortion isn't new. 564 00:21:35,713 --> 00:21:37,212 There's always been ways 565 00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:40,048 that women have controlled their ability to reproduce. 566 00:21:40,049 --> 00:21:42,885 And someone shouts out, "Not all women can reproduce!" 567 00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:45,805 And I said, "I mean biological women!" 568 00:21:45,806 --> 00:21:47,222 Then someone shouts back, 569 00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:49,641 "Biology's a Western construct!" 570 00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:52,686 And I don't know what the fuck they're talking about. 571 00:21:52,687 --> 00:21:55,732 All of a sudden, I'm in a debate about what is a woman, 572 00:21:55,733 --> 00:21:56,983 what is not a woman, 573 00:21:56,984 --> 00:21:58,233 which has nothing to do 574 00:21:58,234 --> 00:22:00,318 with the speech that I was trying to make. 575 00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:03,405 And then the Trans-women of America Association 576 00:22:03,406 --> 00:22:06,743 sends out this statement that I should be publicly censured 577 00:22:06,744 --> 00:22:08,682 for saying they weren't real women. 578 00:22:08,683 --> 00:22:11,028 And then the Infertility Defense Fund 579 00:22:11,029 --> 00:22:13,373 say I'm not taking their pain seriously. 580 00:22:13,374 --> 00:22:17,085 And the Alliance for the Strategically Barren 581 00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:20,006 says that I'm shaming them for not wanting children. 582 00:22:20,007 --> 00:22:23,676 And then I get this letter from the SPCA... 583 00:22:23,677 --> 00:22:26,595 [crying] ...that says I'm not allowed 584 00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:29,515 to adopt a dog for the next five years. 585 00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:31,663 You could still get a cat? 586 00:22:31,664 --> 00:22:33,810 No one wants a cat, Camille! 587 00:22:33,811 --> 00:22:38,649 These mass-rally things, they go sideways so fast. 588 00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:41,652 I'm sorry. 589 00:22:41,653 --> 00:22:43,070 Shit. 590 00:22:43,071 --> 00:22:46,282 They're putting in my replacement next week. 591 00:22:46,283 --> 00:22:47,658 About the promotion... 592 00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:49,076 Wait. 593 00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:52,330 So what does this mean for my future? 594 00:22:52,331 --> 00:22:53,747 I don't know, Camille. 595 00:22:53,748 --> 00:22:55,957 But whatever it is, I promise you, 596 00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:59,128 it's looking a whole shitload better than mine. 597 00:22:59,129 --> 00:23:02,110 Hey, hey. Más... más tequila. 598 00:23:02,111 --> 00:23:05,093 [bartender] Two more coming up. 599 00:23:05,094 --> 00:23:07,095 - Here you go. - Thanks. 600 00:23:08,429 --> 00:23:11,432 [♪ Celine Dion: "My Heart Will Go On" playing] 601 00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:18,432 ♪ ♪ 602 00:23:20,691 --> 00:23:23,819 [clears throat] 603 00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:26,823 [indistinct chatter] 604 00:23:26,824 --> 00:23:33,823 ♪ ♪ 605 00:23:41,254 --> 00:23:42,713 [Brittany] Camille! 606 00:23:42,714 --> 00:23:44,298 - Hi! - Hey! 607 00:23:44,299 --> 00:23:45,882 [both laughing] 608 00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:47,134 How romantic is this? 609 00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:49,929 Paul and I watch Titanic at least once a week. 610 00:23:49,930 --> 00:23:51,221 Yes. 611 00:23:51,222 --> 00:23:53,265 But doesn't he die in the end? 612 00:23:53,266 --> 00:23:55,726 Please don't bring any negative energy into my party. 613 00:23:55,727 --> 00:23:57,520 No, of course not. 614 00:23:57,521 --> 00:23:58,770 Okay. 615 00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:00,523 But to that end, I got this really weird, 616 00:24:00,524 --> 00:24:01,731 uh, bad work news, 617 00:24:01,732 --> 00:24:03,838 and so I wanted to say congratulations, 618 00:24:03,839 --> 00:24:05,997 and I wanted to drop this off to you. 619 00:24:05,998 --> 00:24:08,155 Oh, so you came to my engagement party 620 00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:10,324 to tell me you don't want to come to my engagement party. 621 00:24:10,325 --> 00:24:13,744 No! No, no! I... I want to be here. 622 00:24:13,745 --> 00:24:15,078 - It's just... - Oh, good! 623 00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:16,746 I was just telling our spiritual advisor 624 00:24:16,747 --> 00:24:19,167 there are two people I want to see tonight, you and... 625 00:24:19,168 --> 00:24:20,084 Oh... 626 00:24:20,085 --> 00:24:21,001 Ian! Aah! 627 00:24:21,002 --> 00:24:22,920 - Aah! - Ah, Ian! 628 00:24:22,921 --> 00:24:29,920 ♪ ♪ 629 00:24:32,763 --> 00:24:35,892 [squealing] 630 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,728 Fuck. 631 00:24:39,729 --> 00:24:41,897 ♪ ♪ 632 00:24:41,898 --> 00:24:43,774 I'm proud of you. 633 00:24:43,775 --> 00:24:45,713 ♪ ♪ 634 00:24:45,714 --> 00:24:47,652 Camille. 635 00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:50,656 [sultry music] 636 00:24:50,657 --> 00:24:52,137 ♪ ♪ 637 00:24:52,138 --> 00:24:53,618 Camille. 638 00:24:55,620 --> 00:24:57,538 Ian! 639 00:24:57,539 --> 00:24:59,456 Hi. 640 00:24:59,457 --> 00:25:01,791 Um, ah... [chuckles awkwardly] 641 00:25:01,792 --> 00:25:04,378 - Oh, that's awkward. - [both laugh] 642 00:25:04,379 --> 00:25:05,587 Uh, sorry. 643 00:25:05,588 --> 00:25:08,194 I wasn't sure of the proper, you know, etiquette. 644 00:25:08,195 --> 00:25:10,801 - Right, right, or ex-tiquette. - [both laugh] 645 00:25:10,802 --> 00:25:12,303 You know, because we're exes, so... 646 00:25:12,304 --> 00:25:13,867 That's what we are. 647 00:25:13,868 --> 00:25:15,431 Yeah. It was stupid. 648 00:25:15,432 --> 00:25:17,641 Um, so, hi. 649 00:25:17,642 --> 00:25:19,769 Uh, how... how long you visiting for? 650 00:25:19,770 --> 00:25:22,772 Oh, no, I'm back now, for good. 651 00:25:22,773 --> 00:25:25,148 Oh, wow. 652 00:25:25,149 --> 00:25:27,151 Ah, no luck finding the loo. 653 00:25:27,152 --> 00:25:28,818 Oh, okay. 654 00:25:28,819 --> 00:25:30,820 Um, Camille, this is Mira. 655 00:25:30,821 --> 00:25:33,198 - Mira, Camille. - You're gorgeous. 656 00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:35,743 Okay, I have needed to pee the entire Uber here. 657 00:25:35,744 --> 00:25:37,453 Have you seen a bathroom? 658 00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:41,519 Ah, um, thank you. [chuckles awkwardly] 659 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,834 I mean, no, I haven't seen the bathroom. 660 00:25:43,835 --> 00:25:45,460 I, um, um... [snaps fingers] 661 00:25:45,461 --> 00:25:48,005 I was just saying thank you for saying that I'm gorgeous. 662 00:25:48,006 --> 00:25:48,880 You're stunning. 663 00:25:48,881 --> 00:25:50,591 [giggles] You're sweet. 664 00:25:50,592 --> 00:25:52,217 Ian? 665 00:25:52,218 --> 00:25:53,928 Uh, yeah, let's... let's go find you a bathroom. 666 00:25:53,929 --> 00:25:55,345 Uh, we'll catch up in a bit? 667 00:25:55,346 --> 00:25:58,995 Yeah. Yeah. Just try to stop me. 668 00:25:58,996 --> 00:26:02,644 [laughs] Till we catch up later. 669 00:26:02,645 --> 00:26:05,147 I'm just... Okay, stop talking, Camille. 670 00:26:05,148 --> 00:26:08,066 [cell phone vibrating] 671 00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:11,988 Girl, I was literally just about to call you. 672 00:26:11,989 --> 00:26:14,447 - Ian brought a date. - [Tye] Oh, no. 673 00:26:14,448 --> 00:26:17,243 On a scale from zero to Rihanna, how bad we talking? 674 00:26:17,244 --> 00:26:18,743 She's fucking British, Tye. 675 00:26:18,744 --> 00:26:20,620 Oh, he got him a Kate Middleton. 676 00:26:20,621 --> 00:26:22,290 [Camille] He's not just here for the party. 677 00:26:22,291 --> 00:26:23,498 He's here for good. 678 00:26:23,499 --> 00:26:25,792 But it's not good. I ran away again. 679 00:26:25,793 --> 00:26:28,087 I'm... I'm hiding in the kitchen. 680 00:26:28,088 --> 00:26:29,462 I'm that basic bitch. 681 00:26:29,463 --> 00:26:30,798 Do you need me to come save you? 682 00:26:30,799 --> 00:26:31,840 No, no, no. 683 00:26:31,841 --> 00:26:33,174 I just need to make my getaway. 684 00:26:33,175 --> 00:26:35,760 Oh, God, he's been standing by the exit forever. 685 00:26:35,761 --> 00:26:38,347 As soon as he moves, I am literally running. 686 00:26:38,348 --> 00:26:39,681 And you know what else? 687 00:26:39,682 --> 00:26:41,892 I think I might lose my promotion, too. 688 00:26:41,893 --> 00:26:43,268 Like, what is going on? 689 00:26:43,269 --> 00:26:45,313 This has to be that Saturn thing on my hand. 690 00:26:45,314 --> 00:26:46,813 Oh, no. This is bad. 691 00:26:46,814 --> 00:26:50,318 You're giving credence to my cousin's palm reading? 692 00:26:50,319 --> 00:26:51,860 But something definitely is up. 693 00:26:51,861 --> 00:26:54,195 You know that piece I left the club with? 694 00:26:54,196 --> 00:26:58,117 She ate me out, ate my food, and then she dipped! 695 00:26:58,118 --> 00:27:00,118 No note, no text, no nothing. 696 00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,288 Who the fuck does she think she is, me? 697 00:27:02,289 --> 00:27:03,330 There you are! 698 00:27:03,331 --> 00:27:06,207 - Hey! - Ah, game time! 699 00:27:06,208 --> 00:27:08,127 Please join us for a super-fun round 700 00:27:08,128 --> 00:27:09,920 of Who Knows Brittany Best? 701 00:27:09,921 --> 00:27:11,130 I do! [laughs] 702 00:27:11,131 --> 00:27:12,130 You do! 703 00:27:12,131 --> 00:27:13,507 - [laughs] - Yeah. 704 00:27:13,508 --> 00:27:15,675 Okay, okay. 705 00:27:15,676 --> 00:27:17,073 [cook] Cheese puffs are ready! 706 00:27:17,074 --> 00:27:18,471 [sighs] I have to get out of here. 707 00:27:18,472 --> 00:27:19,888 [Tye] Just breathe. 708 00:27:19,889 --> 00:27:22,808 Don't get all Camille about this. 709 00:27:22,809 --> 00:27:25,353 [exhales sharply] Right. 710 00:27:25,354 --> 00:27:26,644 What? 711 00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:28,147 [bridesmaid] Let's try this again. 712 00:27:28,148 --> 00:27:29,522 This'll be the one. 713 00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:33,694 What is Brittany's favorite Bette Midler movie? 714 00:27:33,695 --> 00:27:35,738 No, Paul! Fuck you! 715 00:27:35,739 --> 00:27:37,781 How do you not remember 716 00:27:37,782 --> 00:27:39,367 my favorite Bette Midler movie is Beaches? 717 00:27:39,368 --> 00:27:40,576 You told me it was Hocus... 718 00:27:41,577 --> 00:27:43,745 Phew. 719 00:27:43,746 --> 00:27:46,665 - [sighs] - [door closes] 720 00:27:46,666 --> 00:27:49,585 [distant siren wailing] 721 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:54,298 Where you going? 722 00:27:55,633 --> 00:27:57,050 Oh. 723 00:27:57,051 --> 00:27:58,468 Hi. 724 00:27:58,469 --> 00:28:02,848 Um, I, um, have this thing that I have to do, so... 725 00:28:02,849 --> 00:28:04,974 [chuckles] No, you don't. 726 00:28:04,975 --> 00:28:09,312 No, I don't, but this party sucks. 727 00:28:09,313 --> 00:28:10,773 It's Paul and Brittany. What do you expect? 728 00:28:10,774 --> 00:28:11,981 [both chuckle] 729 00:28:11,982 --> 00:28:13,776 Of course you're out here getting high. 730 00:28:13,777 --> 00:28:15,903 Oh, relax. It's legal now. 731 00:28:15,904 --> 00:28:17,445 No, it's not. 732 00:28:17,446 --> 00:28:18,948 You sound like my mother. 733 00:28:21,158 --> 00:28:22,367 How is Regina? 734 00:28:22,368 --> 00:28:23,994 Still always asking about you. 735 00:28:23,995 --> 00:28:25,579 Here. 736 00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:28,791 You ain't gonna get arrested. 737 00:28:32,002 --> 00:28:33,002 [whistles] 738 00:28:38,968 --> 00:28:41,512 Hold on, hold on. Easy there, tiger. 739 00:28:41,513 --> 00:28:44,472 - [coughing] - [chuckles] 740 00:28:44,473 --> 00:28:47,810 Yeah, I feel like the last time I was really high was with you. 741 00:28:47,811 --> 00:28:49,812 - No. - Yeah. 742 00:28:49,813 --> 00:28:51,229 Yeah? 743 00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:52,731 Uh, Britt and Paul's game night. 744 00:28:52,732 --> 00:28:53,731 Mm. 745 00:28:53,732 --> 00:28:55,733 Remember that? Oh, my gosh! 746 00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:58,299 Can you imagine how absurd their wedding's gonna be? 747 00:28:58,300 --> 00:29:00,865 Like, I think I heard something about stilt walkers. 748 00:29:00,866 --> 00:29:02,240 Oh, Jesus. 749 00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:03,909 Yeah, I'm definitely gonna have to fake an illness 750 00:29:03,910 --> 00:29:05,160 to get out of that. 751 00:29:05,161 --> 00:29:08,164 - I almost did that tonight. - Yeah, me too. 752 00:29:09,373 --> 00:29:11,583 You know I saw you the other night? 753 00:29:11,584 --> 00:29:14,462 At a open mic. I just didn't say anything. 754 00:29:14,463 --> 00:29:15,837 Really? 755 00:29:15,838 --> 00:29:19,048 [scoffs] That's weird. 756 00:29:19,049 --> 00:29:20,759 Why didn't you say anything? 757 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,095 I just, uh... 758 00:29:23,096 --> 00:29:25,576 I don't know. 759 00:29:25,577 --> 00:29:28,057 Seeing you was... 760 00:29:28,058 --> 00:29:29,977 I don't know. I just kind of got overwhelmed, you know? 761 00:29:29,978 --> 00:29:32,020 - Yeah. - I got so much to say, 762 00:29:32,021 --> 00:29:34,064 I don't even know where to start. 763 00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:38,360 I mean, I was hoping you'd be here tonight, though. 764 00:29:40,112 --> 00:29:41,404 You look good. 765 00:29:41,405 --> 00:29:43,823 Thanks. So do you. 766 00:29:43,824 --> 00:29:46,243 Like I remember. 767 00:29:48,370 --> 00:29:50,434 Except for you cut your hair. 768 00:29:50,435 --> 00:29:52,499 - Mm. You like it? - [chuckles] 769 00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:54,877 [♪ Snoh Aalegra: "I Want You Around"] 770 00:29:54,878 --> 00:29:57,838 Yeah. It, um, it suits you. 771 00:29:57,839 --> 00:29:59,798 Thanks. 772 00:29:59,799 --> 00:30:01,758 ♪ ♪ 773 00:30:01,759 --> 00:30:05,470 Um, I should probably go, because I have, 774 00:30:05,471 --> 00:30:08,849 uh, this work and stuff I have to get to, so... 775 00:30:08,850 --> 00:30:11,185 - Yeah, I'm gonna, um, go. - Stay... 776 00:30:11,186 --> 00:30:12,852 if you want. 777 00:30:12,853 --> 00:30:16,523 ♪ I want you around ♪ 778 00:30:16,524 --> 00:30:19,318 - ♪ Around ♪ - ♪ Around ♪ 779 00:30:19,319 --> 00:30:21,903 ♪ I want you around ♪ 780 00:30:21,904 --> 00:30:24,907 - ♪ Around ♪ - ♪ Around ♪ 781 00:30:24,908 --> 00:30:27,535 ♪ I want you around ♪ 782 00:30:27,536 --> 00:30:28,743 [door opens] 783 00:30:28,744 --> 00:30:31,204 You done smoking? Ah. 784 00:30:31,205 --> 00:30:33,269 The party games are over. 785 00:30:33,270 --> 00:30:35,407 Ended in a lot of tears. 786 00:30:35,408 --> 00:30:37,456 It was hilarious. [laughs] 787 00:30:37,457 --> 00:30:39,505 This one despises games. 788 00:30:39,506 --> 00:30:41,736 [both chuckle] 789 00:30:41,737 --> 00:30:43,968 Oh, is that right? 790 00:30:43,969 --> 00:30:45,719 [giggles] 791 00:30:47,054 --> 00:30:49,702 Um, so I'll... I will see you guys later. 792 00:30:49,703 --> 00:30:52,351 - Okay, nice to meet you. - [both] Yeah. 793 00:30:52,352 --> 00:30:53,685 - Bye. - Bye. 794 00:30:53,686 --> 00:30:55,625 [Mira] Oh, my gosh. 795 00:30:55,626 --> 00:30:57,564 I am so ready to dance. 796 00:30:57,565 --> 00:30:59,941 - [Ian] Yeah? - [Mira giggles] 797 00:30:59,942 --> 00:31:02,820 [conversation continues indistinctly] 798 00:31:05,072 --> 00:31:06,364 [door closes] 799 00:31:06,365 --> 00:31:09,263 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 800 00:31:09,264 --> 00:31:12,162 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 801 00:31:12,163 --> 00:31:14,581 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 802 00:31:14,582 --> 00:31:16,165 ♪ I talk a lot of shit ♪ 803 00:31:16,166 --> 00:31:17,959 ♪ Yeah, I talk a lot of shit ♪ 804 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,170 ♪ Make it look easy for me to fall back ♪ 805 00:31:21,171 --> 00:31:24,383 ♪ But I be full of it, I'm the first one to admit ♪ 806 00:31:24,384 --> 00:31:27,177 ♪ I ain't really over you like that ♪ 807 00:31:27,178 --> 00:31:28,595 ♪ No ♪ 808 00:31:28,596 --> 00:31:31,973 ♪ I miss you, I miss you ♪ 809 00:31:31,974 --> 00:31:34,977 ♪ I be scrollin' through your page and all that ♪ 810 00:31:34,978 --> 00:31:37,688 ♪ I miss you, yeah, I miss you ♪ 811 00:31:37,689 --> 00:31:39,940 ♪ My feelings never made a move ♪ 812 00:31:39,941 --> 00:31:42,192 ♪ But I'm trying to convince... ♪ 813 00:31:42,193 --> 00:31:43,818 [doorbell buzzes] 814 00:31:43,819 --> 00:31:45,946 ♪...myself to forget about it, forget about it ♪ 815 00:31:45,947 --> 00:31:47,614 ♪ I'ma forget about it ♪ 816 00:31:47,615 --> 00:31:50,826 ♪ Already told myself that I could live without it ♪ 817 00:31:50,827 --> 00:31:52,410 [doorbell buzzes] 818 00:31:52,411 --> 00:31:53,995 ♪ I'ma live without it, aw ♪ 819 00:31:53,996 --> 00:31:57,416 ♪ 'Cause I'm over, over, over, over you ♪ 820 00:31:57,417 --> 00:32:00,586 ♪ I'm over, over... ♪ 821 00:32:00,587 --> 00:32:01,920 Hey. 822 00:32:01,921 --> 00:32:03,255 Hey. 823 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:08,822 I was gonna give you a call, but you changed your number. 824 00:32:08,823 --> 00:32:11,722 Yeah. I was, uh, I was getting all these calls from China. 825 00:32:11,723 --> 00:32:13,494 Well, actually, they could have been from anywhere, 826 00:32:13,495 --> 00:32:15,256 but the person who was calling was speaking Chinese, 827 00:32:15,257 --> 00:32:17,076 which I don't know, so I didn't know what she wanted. 828 00:32:17,077 --> 00:32:18,862 Yeah, I was getting them so much that I even thought 829 00:32:18,863 --> 00:32:20,648 about learning Chinese, just so I could tell this woman 830 00:32:20,649 --> 00:32:21,856 I'm not who she's looking for, 831 00:32:21,857 --> 00:32:23,442 but that seemed like a lot of effort. 832 00:32:23,443 --> 00:32:25,401 Am I still talking about this? 833 00:32:25,402 --> 00:32:27,154 I got to get something off my chest. 834 00:32:27,155 --> 00:32:28,322 Wait. 835 00:32:28,323 --> 00:32:29,490 Me first. 836 00:32:31,825 --> 00:32:34,953 I also saw you at open mic. 837 00:32:34,954 --> 00:32:37,414 And I was afraid to say hi... 838 00:32:37,415 --> 00:32:39,875 because I might not just say hi. 839 00:32:39,876 --> 00:32:42,503 I might kiss you, 840 00:32:42,504 --> 00:32:44,671 like I did 841 00:32:44,672 --> 00:32:47,882 and say I made a mistake. 842 00:32:47,883 --> 00:32:49,385 I know it. My friends know it. 843 00:32:49,386 --> 00:32:51,261 None of us say it, but... 844 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:55,264 ...it was a mistake. 845 00:32:55,265 --> 00:32:57,225 I should have at least tried. 846 00:32:57,226 --> 00:32:59,353 I shouldn't have let the distance keep us 847 00:32:59,354 --> 00:33:00,561 from being together. 848 00:33:00,562 --> 00:33:03,899 [chuckles] And now that you're back... 849 00:33:05,693 --> 00:33:08,445 ...I think we should give us another shot. 850 00:33:08,446 --> 00:33:11,448 [dramatic music] 851 00:33:11,449 --> 00:33:14,701 ♪ ♪ 852 00:33:14,702 --> 00:33:16,911 [chuckles] Okay. 853 00:33:16,912 --> 00:33:18,496 I just poured out my heart to you. 854 00:33:18,497 --> 00:33:19,915 It's your turn. It's called reciprocity. 855 00:33:19,916 --> 00:33:21,082 Say something. 856 00:33:21,083 --> 00:33:23,961 [chuckles] Um, Camille... 857 00:33:23,962 --> 00:33:25,358 Yes. 858 00:33:25,359 --> 00:33:26,754 ...uh, 859 00:33:26,755 --> 00:33:28,507 ...I'm engaged. 860 00:33:28,508 --> 00:33:32,052 ♪ ♪ 60367

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