Original subtitles

Man. Heat is killing me.

I know what you mean.

Let's call it a day and go for a swim.

Yeah. Hi, Mr. Brewer. What do you think of the idea?

Hello, Maggie. Go swimming. You out of your mind?

The beaches are so crowded, not even the sardines have enough room.

Not to mention the garbage.

Good afternoon, Mr. Brewer.

Hello again. Hi.

I don't mind the meeting, but why the hell on a day like this?

Well, you see, it's like this.

The publishers have decided our readers have had enough of our porno reports.

Next week is the last article.

So the question now is, where do we go from here?

Now, of course, they give you credit for the recent increase in our circulation.

Where's the bonus?

Only they think it's time we offered our readers

a fresh look at the subject of sex from a completely different angle.

And someone mentioned the recent lawsuit concerning that 15 year old girl.

The young man in the lawsuit was several years older.

However, he hadn't had much sexual experience.

So before you know it, there she was giving the fellow lessons.

I thought it was a good subject.

Men who are victimized by young girls.

Anyhow, after the publishers heard me out, they gave me the green light.

And so we're doing a report on young seducers.

We could begin with a story I heard not long ago.

There was this young man and a very attractive teenager.

Can she make a mountain out of a molehill?

It was so hot today I decided to cut classes.

I'm going to college.

You look awfully young for a college girl.

I've always looked younger than my real age.

What's your major?

Foreign languages?

German and French.

Oh, French. That's a nice tongue.

How come you're on the beach in the middle of the week?

You're a beachcomber.

I'm a painter.

Oh, a poor, starving artist, No, my folks are rich.

Oh, you live here with your parents?

I live alone in a little studio.

Here to take a look at it.

I'd love to, but I warn you, you're taking a chance.

Didn't your mother ever tell you how dangerous it was to take the girls?

You don't know up to your room? Yeah, but you're not that little.

Okay, vampire, get into my Cadillac and sink your teeth into my jacket.

I can't wait.

You. Rosemary was putting a new twist on an old proverb.

If you want a horse to drink, you got to lead them to the water.

This bright little girl was invited to see his studio.

But of course, she was also dying to see his etchings.

Or whatever you want to call them.

Well, here we are.

But I'm afraid we'll have to climb five flights up to Mount Olympus.

They say no sacrifices.

Too great for sake of art.

Rosemary.

Strategy was working out beautifully.

Little did he suspect that he was the fly and not the spider.

Her only worry was that he might be too exhausted after climbing

five flights.

Well, we made it.

Yeah.

Hey, what's the name of that one study of a woman in dual perplexity?

And what's that one?

My psyche.

And a state of bonded emancipate.

How interesting.

Not even Picasso has nicer titles.

Oh, that one's sexy.

The inborn instinct of a male and a search for consummation.

The inborn instinct. I can see it.

Of course not everybody understands it.

Of course.

Don't you ever paint women?

No. In my opinion, a subject is unproductive and completely exhausted.

Maybe it's simply that you don't care for girls too much.

Wow. Isn't the view from up here fantastic?

Women don't hold any secrets for me.

Oh, maybe you haven't met women who have enough to offer.

I have an idea.

Why don't you try painting a portrait of me?

I'll be your model.

I don't think so.

Oh, give it a try, How's this?

Well, all right, but I'm warning you.

You're in for a big surprise.

So are you.

I'm going to get in the mood.

Now. Okay.

I just hope it's worth all the trouble.

Is that as far as you're going?

Oh, topless.

Whatever you say.

That you like.

You look like

the kind of a man a girl could trust.

I have a secret or two for you.

Yeah.

What secret?

Now. Don't tell me you're going to go bottomless, too.

Yeah.

I think I'll start by showing you some of my secrets.

Something tells me I'm not going to get very far with this painting.

What did you say?

I just said, I think I'm going to enjoy painting. You.

Why, granny?

What big eyes you have.

You're drooling.

Paint!

Damn!

I lost my train of thought.

I can't concentrate anymore.

It's too hot in here.

It sure is.

Yeah.

Not bad for a guy who doesn't like to paint women.

You've just got to get to know them a little better.

Come closer. Yes.

You know all you need to know.

Oh. You.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Well,

getting back to the point of the story, Rosemary didn't learn that at any college.

As a matter of fact, she'd never been to college.

She was too young,

but she wasn't too young to teach the young man a lesson he'd never forget.

And if she does attend college someday.

Well, you've seen for yourself what admirable qualities she has.

And if she majors in foreign tongues, there's no doubt she's

going to be very popular.

Incidentally, he finally did painter.

And the curious part of it

is that the picture brought the recognition he'd been hoping for.

So, you see, everything has its brighter side.

Rosemary, of course, was advanced for a girl her age.

She looked much older. Yet she was just 16.

A couple of weeks ago, I read about a girl who worked at a service station.

Well, maybe it shouldn't be called work.

In any case, it was offered to regular customers.

They could have sex with her on the house.

The owner of the service station was smart.

Instead of giving presents, her discount men could have quick sex.

Imagine you buy gasoline and get a pretty girl.

At least you must admit the idea was good.

Look at all the junk they offer you nowadays.

How many car and airplane models can you collect?

And who wants to save coins or pictures of animals or

whatever it is they think up to make you want to buy their gasoline?

There's no way of making the gasoline itself more appealing.

A collection of coat of arms might appeal to some kid.

But what can you offer growing up

anyway?

The owner of the service station didn't regret the set up for a long time.

Word got around and business pulled.

Hey, Charlie.

Yes, sir. Come on. 2775, sir.

Keep the change. Thank you. Sir.

Service satisfactory?

Man, you can say that again.

Go again.

Sir. You bet. Bye.

All right.

Send the next one up.

Coming up.

Boss.

Good afternoon sir.

Afternoon.

Same as always.

Fill her up.

Yeah, but take your time with it today.

Check the battery and air pressure.

Okay. I understand, sir.

You might as well change the oil while you're at it.

I did that yesterday. I'll do it again.

Anything you say.

Angela.

Angela.

What do you hear again?

I certainly am. You know you're amazing.

Where the hell do you get all the energy from?

I couldn't wait to get here today.

Remember you promised to do it the French way.

Yeah. Promise is a promise.

I mean, I know you don't usually do that, but we've been together so often now.

It's not as if I were a stranger or anything. Right?

Oh, don't be that way.

Angela. Angela. My. Angela.

You can't imagine how fond of you I am,

sweetheart.

Darling.

You undressed yet?

I'm wasting valuable time.

You know.

Sweetie pie.

Take off your shorts.

Let's cut out the talk and get down to business.

That's it.

And keep your undershirt on.

Okay.

Here I come.

Oh Angela. Oh.

Oh, Your skin is so smooth.

Oh. Yeah.

Wonderful. Oh.

And then.

Boom. Oh.

Oh. And.

Okay.

Excuse me.

Yeah. Oh.

Oh. Bye, Angela.

See you tomorrow.

What's the bill?

It makes it even 40. Thank you. Sir.

Call again sir. I sure will.

See you tomorrow.

Anytime.

All right.

Send the next one up.

Coming up. Boss.

Good afternoon sir.

Good afternoon.

What do you need?

Clear up and check my wallet. Right away, sir.

Well, it couldn't go on like that forever.

It was simply too good to lie.

Somebody gave it all away.

Fired or was jailed.

This story that might fit into the theme of young girls who go around

seducing grown up men began, of all places, in a tub. The.

Oh, no no no no

no. I'm.

No no no no no no no no no no no.

I'm. I'm. I'm.

No no no no no.

No. Yeah.

000000000. Oh.

0000000000000000000.

0000000.

Am I00.

No! Who could I blow up a storm with?

I wonder how our dear old chemistry teacher

would react to a private call from me.

Yes. Hello, this is Helen Klein.

Well, what is it?

Well, I wanted I, You know, something must be wrong.

If you call me in the middle of the night like this.

I'm all alone in the house, and I wasn't here.

Helen. You're not a baby anymore.

Don't try to tell me you're afraid of being alone.

Oh, never.

I simply want to say a final goodbye.

Goodbye.

But, I've had enough of this, Helen.

Good night.

Oh, but I've decided to end it all.

So it's goodbye. What?

Yes. My number is up. Now listen here.

Have anything to live for?

You've always been an excellent student and very intelligent.

What's the meaning of this absurd talk?

What I'm telling you is true.

I won't be alive tomorrow. I've had it.

If the overdose of sleeping pills doesn't do it, I'll jump out of the window.

What? Oh.

Forget it.

It's too late to do anything about it.

About what?

I've put the pills in water to dissolve.

We'd better talk the matter over, Helen.

Now, listen.

Get some sleep. Tomorrow there won't be a tomorrow.

Nonsense. Tomorrow we'll go over in detail.

Whatever's troubling you now.

A girl as beautiful and intelligent as you are.

Masters. All our problems.

You don't understand.

And I feel positive you think differently after our talk.

I'll be there in five minutes flat.

I don't think it's advisable for you to come up.

Helen.

Hello?

Come in.

Helen.

Yes, sir.

Can I offer you anything?

A Coke?

Yes, sir. With ice? Yes.

Okay.

Would you please tell me what's got into you?

It's simple.

I'm in love with you.

Come here.

Let me show you how much.

So that was it.

If this is a joke, I don't think anyone is going to find it very amusing.

I'm going to report it to the school.

I've had enough of this business and I'll go back home.

This is a fabulous bed.

I can't wait to tell all the girls what a man our chemistry teacher can be.

That chandelier is very easy to describe,

so they'll be willing to believe everything.

That it was your idea to invite me up here and seducing

me was why you made me come.

And get out.

You have no alternative. You.

This is blackmail.

Don't touch me!

I'm just

a little bitch.

Out of my face and into your things.

Get out of here before I forget myself.

Will you let go of me?

Oh, that was your own fault.

And everybody believes the little tramp.

This is what she claimed.

She was desperate when she finally learned what the teacher wanted.

She bitten, scratched so that he sent her away without harming her.

So girlfriend brought the truth to light later on.

Teachers are always in danger of becoming the object of a conspiracy

if they don't keep a strong hold on themselves.

I heard the story of a piano teacher the other day.

That's terrific.

It will show you what sweet, innocent girls are capable of.

Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum.

Now play the last bars once more.

Susan.

Very fine.

And now comes the etude. You were supposed to practice for today.

But didn't you practice?

Of course I did.

All right.

Susan.

For heaven's sake!

This photograph.

Where did you get it? Why don't you think it's nice?

I brought it along.

Especially to give it to you as a present.

As a present for me?

Because I think you're such a wonderful teacher.

And I wanted to ask you to make me a present of a picture of you like that.

A photograph of the nude.

Don't have any.

But where could I have some taken?

I made mine all by myself with my Polaroid camera.

I could make some of you if you like.

I have my camera and a flash there in my briefcase.

But I'm not as well proportioned as you are, Susan.

I think your body's very beautiful.

And no know.

Na na na na.

Pull down the other one.

Please look the other way.

Susan.

Take off your things.

Susan, darling.

Come closer.

Oh. I.

Oh yeah.

Oh 00000.

Oh Oh

Oh. Oh.

Oh oh. Oh.

So. I hope you enjoyed yourself.

I'm not coming anymore.

Right.

My parents telling them

you refused to give me piano lessons, but there's no reason I should, Susan.

Maybe not for you, but I have a boyfriend.

And instead of you giving me lessons from now on, I intend to make it with him.

Have I made myself clear?

Quite.

It's amazing the ingenuity of a teenage girl.

I remember the tale about a well developed 15 year old girl.

A very fascinating story.

I'm sure you won't hear anything like it ever again.

It's a real knockout. Hello, boys and girls.

Today I want to tell you the story of the Princess and the pea.

Once upon a time, there was a princess.

Her father, the king was a real sugar daddy.

He gave her all the lollipops she wanted.

And she loved to suck lollipops.

But the princess was still unhappy.

You see, she had one obsession.

She adored sitting on pins.

He gave her all the peace she wanted.

Oh, but alas, she longed for just one tremendous piece to sit on.

So she would secretly travel throughout the countryside in a coach

in search of a handsome prince with a real big pea.

Well, one fine morning, a fearless prince traveling in her

direction saw her and fell in love with her immediately.

But she didn't notice.

She was daydreaming about a big pea.

Then she sensed a stare and she smiled at him shyly.

He returned her smile and thought, is my fate sealed?

However, she had but one thought.

Does he have a big pea?

She had to do something to find out.

She knew the prince would come to her aid if she were in distress.

So she decided to try opening the window of the coach.

She tried and tried and finally looked at him in despair.

He saw her

rosy cheeks and hastened to her aid.

The good prince couldn't wait to please the lovely maiden.

She seized the opportunity and asked.

Have you got a big pea?

You bet I do.

Then do sit down next to me.

Your wish is my command.

They traveled side by side for a while, both yet to shy to speak.

But finally she asked him about his pea, and if it was a great big pea.

Could she sit on it?

Well, the handsome prince agreed, and he gave it to her.

The princess sat, relishing the large size of his pea.

The coach rocked, but she remained firmly on the pea.

Yet somewhere deep inside of her, she knew that although it was truly large,

she longed for far mightier ones.

Her eyes strayed.

Where would you find a pea big enough to satisfy her desires?

She could not disappoint

this handsome prince who had so willingly given her his pea.

How could she tell him?

It would never do?

Prince, however, loved the princess.

He was enraptured by her sitting on his large pea.

For all he cared, she could sit on it forever.

If she so desired.

But he could not control himself much longer.

He knew his love could not be contained.

So he opened up and his love gushed forward.

She, however, returned the back to him.

She could never become his mistress, she said.

She must continue her search for the largest pea.

The princess decided to take another route.

But the prince, whose thirst for her was not quenched.

Followed her.

She looked back at him nostalgically.

After all, his pea was really big.

I like a girl who is hard to get.

Well, you got me.

What now?

Let's take a walk.

One last one to the stream is an egg.

Come back here! Oh!

Come here.

No! Let go of me!

Let go! Oh!

Oh. No! Oh.

No. I've got you.

Oh! What a man.

Please. I'm.

In. I'm.

And they lived happily ever after.

There's a marvelous story I could add to the series.

It concerns a football player and a young girl.

He comes from Denmark.

Oh, but I warn you, if you sues us, it wouldn't be surprising.

That's nothing to worry about.

Or any similarity to living or deceased persons is pure coincidence.

Okay, suppose we call him Larsen.

Larsen decides to go to an electrical appliance store

since he wants to buy a new hi fi unit.

Oh, look, that's that Danish football player.

Don't tell me I haven't met him.

He lives in your house,

The simplest operation.

It's very easy and gets the best technical equipment on the market today.

Simply do like that.

I see the matter of a second. And music?

The likes of which you've never heard before, will encompass like that.

That's it. You just have to know how it's done.

It's only important to know what button you have to push.

Could I get a word in?

Yes, please.

Thanks. Please excuse me if I take up your time.

But a battery is all I want. All right.

Thanks. Thanks, Larsen.

Oh, it needs a new battery.

Yes. But with the battery

still working as far as I can see it's still functioning.

Oh but I've been using it an awful lot and I don't want it to stop working

in the middle of things.

I mean it won't work forever.

Right.

Well I'll fix it for you.

Thanks.

When are you going back to Denmark, Larsen?

Next week.

There.

That should do it.

It's too thick. Right.

That one's for grown ups.

This one's for the little ones. It'll fit.

Yeah.

Okay.

Here you are.

Thank you. How much?

All it costs is 125. Great.

Thank you. Bye. Have fun.

That's life.

Practice makes perfect.

Yes. Well, now this the battery.

I mean, this record player.

Who the hell could that be?

Check him out.

All right, I'm coming.

Can't even work out in peace.

Yes, please. Hello, Larson.

I just wanted to ask you about the record player you bought today.

I'm going to buy a new one myself.

I adore music.

It's my favorite pastime.

Vet and physical culture.

Well, now you saw it yourself.

Remember this morning, blue?

Yes, now I remember.

Come on in a moment. I'd love to.

That salesman was a real square.

I haven't seen anyone blush that much in years. Who knows?

Maybe he just had a bad conscience.

Today's businessmen.

Well.

What kind of music would you like to hear?

Oh, I'll leave that to you. All right.

You can't imagine what some kids are capable of.

Last week, a girl called here because you wanted my autograph.

I said okay.

She came up, and the minute I faced the other way,

she took off all her things. No. What you wanted.

She wanted to dance for me.

So I put on a record of salami.

We'll see if sex is let.

Yeah, but.

Yeah. Oh.

The minute I saw you, I thought so near.

And yet so far.

Why not make friends?

Mind if I take this up?

No. Go right ahead.

Oh. Oh.

With biceps like that, I bet you're as strong as a horse.

I'm as strong as a horse in every respect.

Seeing is believing.

Come here.

Larson, could I ride on you?

Came a little horse.

Woman. Down. Boy.

Giddy up! Oh.

Yeah.

Oh, I like that.

Yeah, I like beautiful style.

I no wild beast.

I'm going to throw you.

Ha ha ha!

You are a wild one, aren't you?

Yes, I am.

And I'm about to tame you.

Yeah.

You won't be able to walk after this first lesson.

Seeing is believing.

Well, you asked for it,

I'm starting to get nervous.

You starting to get excited?

What have we here?

My beautiful stallion.

Now it's your turn to ride me.

Yes, ma'am.

Okay. Oh.

After sports.

Let's turn to the theater. Here comes Romeo.

No matter yet. Be gone.

I'll be with you straight.

Well, Juliet, I will lie with you tonight.

Let's see if I means.

Oh, Mr.

fell off Swift.

To winter in the thoughts of desperate men.

I do remember an apothecary and hear about a 12 which late I noted

in tattered weeds with overwhelming brows, curling of symbols meager megawatt.

His looks sharp. Misery had worn him to the bones.

And in his needy shop a tortoise hung, an alligator stuffed,

and other skins of evil shaped fishes.

And about the shelves a beggarly account of empty boxes,

green earthen pots, bladders and musty seeds.

Remnants of pack thread were thinly scattered.

Showers at that hick stand were even worse than the hams.

So after that afternoon performance

for school girls, Romeo prefer to bath at home.

God damn it!

Wait a minute.

I'm. I'm in that fucking bathtub.

Oh. Excuse me.

Could you give me your autograph, please?

Be very glad to

forgive this. Get.

I was taking a bath.

What's your name? I'm Christine.

I loved you as Romeo.

Well, that's a lovely name.

Pretty Juliet.

Remember to

Okay.

I wrote you something by,

You like me?

Well, yes.

I mean, ain't you a little bit too young for this sort of thing?

Oh, I bet you love juice.

Yes, but that wasn't all.

Yes, but you know.

You're familiar?

Why the hell don't ring the doorbell?

Oh, and I always thought you were nice.

Well, I be you're right back with the police.

You want.

And because of her, it was a real scandal.

Let me tell you the funny story of a brat who seduced an English student

before he had any inkling of what was happening.

Not so many splendored thing.

Oh. Falling in love again.

Never wanted to.

Man, he gives me goose pimples.

He goes to college.

But he doesn't seem interested in the facts of life.

What a dope.

I'm in the mood for love.

Simply because you're near me.

Hello, Mr. Peters.

Home already? Have a nice day.

Yeah.

I suppose you're a busy little

have to be.

Mama doesn't give me any pocket money if I'm not.

Well, don't work too hard. Money is the root of all evil.

I can think of things more evil than money, Mr.

Peters. I'd like to discuss them with you sometime.

You'd be surprised.

The hell is he talking about?

Scary creature. No.

I wonder if junior got the hint.

Well, he who hesitates is lost.

I think I'll push my luck.

Come in.

It's me.

Ellen.

Well,

what's the matter?

I'd like to have that discussion now.

If you're thinking what I'm thinking, then stop thinking it.

And besides, I have a lot of theories I want to put into practice.

You're playing with fire.

You're much too young.

How's this?

And this?

But I could teach you a thing or two.

My precious.

If anybody found out, I'd be locked up.

And I hate prisons. Inside or out.

Okay, go. Beat it.

Is there something wrong with you?

Don't you like women?

This is a good psychiatrist.

A book on sex might do the trick.

Maybe one like the Kinsey Report.

I ain't got no feelings.

I like you.

Oh, cut that out, Ellen. Why?

If you don't take the initiative, I will.

Now, listen, Ellen, I study law.

You're underage. I'm not.

I've got more to lose than my virginity.

I've nothing to lose.

I see but

nevertheless, I.

Just because you're a couple years older than I am, you're afraid.

No, no, that's not it at all.

It's just that.

It's just that I'm not in the mood.

You're panic stricken.

All right, you little bitch.

You win.

Hey. Hey. Man.

Oh! I'd like to tell you

the story of a girl who was mad about hitchhiking.

Would you give me a lift?

Otherwise, I would have you.

Thanks.

Closed the door.

I don't want to lose you along the way.

This is a comfortable way to get to school in the morning, isn't it?

That depends on the car and the drive.

Satisfied today?

Suppose I answer that one a little later.

I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Oh. What time do your classes start?

It's been about an hour. Been an hour?

Look at that weather.

What do you say we stop somewhere and take a walk in the woods?

Why not? As long as you get me to school on time.

I'd hate to play hooky again.

I'll get you there.

Just because I have a ride doesn't mean I like all the driving.

Well, what about me?

I think you're nice.

I just love convertible

better than school. Hey.

You. You.

And. Oh! Ooh!

Oh. Oh

000 Oh

Now I guess you're thinking here he comes with this

sportsman again.

Face to face.

Faith, faith, faith.

Hey, faith.

Wish I could take a second.

Hey hey hey, can you take a second?

Hey, hey, hey, take a second, second, second.

See this? I can take you back.

Hey, you guys, come over here.

Come on.

Hurry up!

Look.

Who are they going to like us when they find out

we're watching? Hey!

Oh, that bad man.

He's gaining speed.

I wonder who is going to reach the finish line first.

Yeah, it looks like they're at the stretch.

After so much sport, why don't we make a night of it?

Well, I've got the time.

We got the money, I've got some.

I got the money. You got the girls?

No trouble there. That's what you always say.

I know one is enough for the four of us.

Movies galore.

Where have you been? Keeping it.

I see all day.

You'll have to provide a specialty.

I'll bring the liquor. Yeah. The lady, like some stew.

Is the drink.

I bet she's not going to come home.

Wait and see. Maybe she will.

Yeah.

Oh, boy.

Spiders! Here comes our fly.

What's she look like?

Knockout!

You ugly bastard! You haven't had a girl for so long.

You say Frankenstein's daughter was a knockout?

He wasn't kidding.

Boobies galore. Really is a bird.

That's a new one.

Oh, well, this is Judy.

Come on, say hello, boys.

Hiya, babe. Oh, hi.

Would you like a drink?

Thank you. One,

scotch. One scotch. Coming up.

I'll make it a double. Pint of beer, please.

Here you are.

Thanks.

You will do your health, gentlemen.

Chin chin, chin on the hat,

Look at the way she copes that down.

She does everything wholeheartedly.

Everything.

Wow. I

am not bad.

Well.

What now?

Didn't anyone think of bringing music with a beat?

I'm not going to dance to that same beat.

Coming up. Ma'am.

Anything to please the little lady.

That? Yeah.

Yeah. Judy. Dance for them like you dance for me.

Yeah.

Clean Judy for us.

Well, if you insist.

Give it to Judy.

And she really turns me up.

She's everything I told you, isn't she?

That remains to be seen.

You promised us more.

Be patient, my boy.

Good time.

Yeah.

Hey, Judy.

Take them off.

Oh! Jesus.

Hey! What did I tell you?

Just.

Happy?

Yeah.

Ain't those hot pants too hot?

Take them off.

Yeah. You.

Too. Then it's getting hot.

You two are enjoying some.

Fresh. Dry.

Food. Do.

Oh, I've had it.

That was great. You were sensational, Salome.

Sense couldn't have been better.

In the Middle Ages, they would have burned a witch.

Like I would have jumped into the flames to save her.

And now you pay for your supper.

Well.

Who's first?

Come on. You.

Well.

Yeah. You.

Know.

Tell me, weren't

you an active sportsman until just a few months back?

Which reminds me.

Why aren't you on the legitimate stage before you came here?

Well, I admit I used to be a schoolteacher.

As for me, I've never owned a service station.

No. You were a customer.

Oh, please.

Please.

Don't tell me.

Mary was a piano teacher.

And, Weren't you once a painter?

Yeah.

How did you know? Yes.

I found some records in the archives that'll interest you.

Thanks.

I'll be right up.

I'll be right back.

Stick around. Okay.

For the two of us, we have good artists.

I believe in commission.

You sure? You?

Yeah, yeah.

This is absolute wealth. Burn.

So I'm taking you on.

Above all good

ones, I know.

Look, young.

If you're in just the right party.

Ready? House phone lift, and then no mouse.