Original subtitles

And then after that, I have a bunch of meetings.

Didn't you guys wrap all that up?

You can just say you don't wanna hang out.

I don't wanna hang out.

What the hell, who took my kombucha?

I threw that out, it smelled bad.

Of course it smelled bad, it's kombucha.

You 'booch, you lose.

Rick, c-can you portal me to school?

- No. - Gimme that.

Hey! Summer! Summer, give it back!

Honey, did you move the car keys?

Oh, never mind, they were at the bottom.

Well, that is the last time

I eat full-fat ice cream after midnight.

Um...

Okay?

Hey!

What are you--

Hey!

Alright, alright, I yield!

Geez, you're fast.

Are you... a-a clone of me?

- Did Rick-- - Don't-don't tell Rick.

You want me not talkin'? Then you better start talkin'.

Not here. C'mon, you can buy me lunch.

I'm not buying you lunch!

What if we call it "Breakfast 2"?

No!

And you're sure Rick won't spy on us here?

Yeah, he hates the mall.

It's kinda why I come here so much.

Or maybe me being here is why he hates it.

I've actually been thinking about getting a job

at American Eagle.

Ooh, the Eagle Man.

You gonna eat that?

- Not really. - Thanks.

The road provides.

O-Okay, "the road"? Who are you?!

Are you here from the future?

Are you here to kill me?

You think I came from the future to replace a guy

who loves the mall?

I'm a... traveler from another dimension.

You stole a portal gun?

What? No, man, that brings the heat.

I more... slip through cracks in the multiverse.

Your family's cool, by the way.

My Morty and Summer fight way more than yours.

Well, you don't seem like a serial killer.

And I bet I'd know.

- But you can't stay here. - No sweat, Eagle Man.

Just get me back to your upstairs closet.

'Kay, well, that is a weird location.

But just to be clear,

If you do try to kill me and take over my life,

I can scream very loud.

And you never get caught doing this?

Jerrys are basically invisible. It's our superpower.

- Nobody sees us. - Jerry! Get in here!

- Oh, God! - Shit! He saw you!

What's all this shit in the freezer?

- Go! - What?

Don't make him any more suspicious, talk to him!

I'll meet you upstairs!

Hey, Rick!

Your frozen dumplings are still in there, Jerry.

There's limited space in there, Jerry.

We all live here together.

Hey! Hey! Look at me when I'm talking to you.

You catch that episode of Naked and Alone last night?

Hey, between you and me?

I think that guy likes to drink the yak piss.

Are-are you making conversation with me?

Sorry! Sorry.

I guess I do watch that TV show.

And he does seem excited about the piss.

He does!

Okay. Good.

Don't waste my freezer space.

And don't fucking blindside me with small talk!

I think I'm in the clear.

As long as I eat those dumplings.

Are you... smelling my shirts?

What? No.

In a few dimensions,

Rick gives Beth a spatially-dilated walk-in closet.

Beth is always asking for that.

Yeah, you guys are in the same dimensional neighborhood.

And you can't bend reality as often as Rick

without the occasional--

Bingo.

And-and-and what does that lead to?

Buddy, a guy like us can hike the whole multiverse

without even leavin' the house.

You wanna see?

Do I want to stick my hand through a wall?

- Uh, not really. - It's just one stop over.

C'mon. Quit thinkin' like a Jerry and live a little.

Jerry! I'm still angry at you for talking to me!

You... You promise you'll get me home?

I promise.

Holy shit, this is insane.

Pretty mind-blowing, huh?

We try to mark safe trails for each other.

Upside-down coaster means it's cool.

- Blah blah blah blah! - Blah, blahblah!

Blah blahblah!

In this reality, all words are "blah."

I-I kinda get what they're saying.

- Blah blah blah! - Blah blablah blah!

C'mon. Upstairs bathroom. One at a time.

Oh, this is insane, this is insane.

Blah! Blah blah blah blah blahblah blah!

Blah?

Blah blah! Blah! Blah blah blah!

Oh, holy shit, she saw me!

I know! You did great!

That was crazy!

Okay, where-- where to next?

Yes! Fuck yeah, Eagle Man!

Here, get in.

Infinite mirror tunnel.

Man, so weird and specific.

How do you find these things?

That's the thing about being a Jerry.

You got all day to look.

Get close, I almost lost a finger doing this.

It's so cold.

Oh, Jesus.

Here. This way.

- Whoa. - Mm-hmm.

Without the trail, this family would just be gone.

But the road remembers.

There's... so many of us.

Here.

You're one of us now, Eagle Man.

Well, technically it was a piece of your shirt I stuck up there.

You still don't get it, buddy. We're the same.

Okay, but how much of the road is depressing like this place?

Not that much, not that much.

I would like to hold my little hand

And we will run, we will, we will crawl, we will...

Jerry!

Man, you see where I put the margarita machine?

The good one, the-- the science one.

You left it in the shower.

Boy. I-I might be livin' a little too anchors-up, Jerry.

You-- You want a margarita?

All good.

He has to know that's not you.

Well, if he does, he doesn't care.

Alright, we gotta get moving.

There's a killer view two stops over.

You guys want a ceviche to go?

Wow.

And Rick turned the moon into a disco ball for...

- Morty's Winter Formal? - Beautiful, right?

Honestly, Eagle Man,

I didn't think you'd come out this far.

- Way to prove me wrong. - I mean...

I'm not actually from the dimension you found me in.

My whole family jumped together.

And when the space version of my wife showed up,

I thought she'd hate me...

and she did.

But then I turned into a bug and we all had sex.

Eagle Man! God damn.

I-I-I guess it is all pretty cool when I say it out loud.

Thanks for opening my eyes to that.

I'm just you, brother.

Welp, outta suds.

And I did promise to get you home.

Thanks for ridin' with me.

It's the most fun I've had in a while.

- Wait, one second. Whoa! - Whoa!

Hold on, I'm a little drunk.

If this dimension's Jerry was like me,

he'd keep a 12-pack in the bathroom

for the occasional shower beer.

Eagle Man!

- These, uh-- - Yeah.

These are warm.

Shit, shit, shit, we're cutting it close.

Slow down! So much liquid in my stomach.

I'm not being contrarian,

I just think it'd be gross to do that to a cat.

- Squeamish Morty. - I'm not squeamish.

No, no, no, shit!

We missed the connection?

What does that mean? What does that mean?!

It's all good, Jerry. We're fine.

Look. Those guys portal into this Taco-la-Taco every week.

There's a Gene we can stay with while we wait.

He's hip to the scene,

- even has a few cots in his basement. - A week from now?

I can't stay with some Gene for a week,

Rick will just replace me.

No, he won't.

They won't even notice you've been gone.

That's not a good thing!

There is one way, but--

Get me home!

Okay, but why's it out in the woods?

You wanna get home fast, right?

Only way to do that's through Grand Central.

Couple of parallel Mortys tried to pull a keg

outta their Bag of Holding, turned it inside out.

Now it's kind of a... toll road.

Hey there. I'm Eagle Man.

Got two coming out at Burlap.

Copy that.

So... were you camping, or...?

Get in.

Welcome to Grand Central.

It's, uh, not my favorite place.

Who are these bandana guys?

Sometimes your family goes on an adventure and doesn't come back.

The dude that runs this place,

he collects Jerrys that get left behind.

Come on. Boss is ready to see you.

Play it cool.

- Hey, Boss! - Mooch!

- "Mooch"? - It's my road name.

Who's this?

Meet Eagle Man. He's cool.

I rescued him from working at the mall.

We're just looking to get on the Tundra Line.

Fares are up, I'm afraid.

A Rick patched that one fridge nexus.

We've got surge pricing.

Right, no problem.

Whoa! I thought you didn't have a job.

He doesn't. Get this--

We all use the same ATM pin.

3-8-5-2.

That's my ATM pin!

Mm-hmm. The road provides.

Wait, you steal from other Jerrys?

Maybe.

Or maybe poor, silly Jerry was just careless with his money.

Who would believe him anyway?

Hey! That hurts!

You pick this guy up in the sensitive dimension?

- Search them both. - Hey, fuck you, pal.

- Jerry, just relax! - Well, this guy sucks!

Seriously, Mooch. Where did you pick him up?

You mapping new routes and keepin' 'em to yourself?

Take it all. We just wanna pass through.

You don't wanna mess with me, pal.

My Rick could kick your ass.

You little suburbs pussy.

You shouldn't need Rick, Rick should need you.

You just need to find his pressure points.

Take these two back to this guy's station

- and blacklist them both. - Alright, alright! Geez!

Hey! Get off of me!

Hey!

No, no, no! They cut us off!

I can still get home, right?

Fuck!

Goddamnit! I told you to play it cool!

This was all I had, man! The road was my life!

What about my life?

I didn't ask for any of this, you just showed up at my house!

Okay, okay, here's my pitch-- uh, we get jobs as dock workers,

tell them we're twins or something,

save up for three months and move to Spain.

We'll open a dance studio, start small,

- but eventually-- - I'm not doing any of that!

Where even are we?

Morty's high school?

Yeah. This used to be my dimension.

- The shed was my way out. - Oh, screw this!

- Hey! Where are you going? - To our house!

There's gotta be an exit somewhere!

Bad idea. T-There is no house.

You expect me to trust you?!

What was I thinking?

That I'd become some sort of hillbilly road-sage?

A cool prospector?

My family loves me and I threw it away for this?

- Stupid, Jerry. Stupid! - No, wait!

I left my dimension because I felt unappreciated

and by the time I found my way back, Beth had remarried!

- Oh, my God. - Yeah.

This whole time you've been preaching about freedom

and gettin' out there.

But you're not brave. You have to live like this.

You're the least cool version of me I've ever met.

You're right, you're right, I'm a loser.

Let's just do anything other than face my family, please?

Hello? Oh, my God, Jerry!

And there's two of you!

Hi there, Paul Fleischman, CPA.

- Hi. I'm Jerry. - It's a pleasure.

Beth! Jerry's back!

And another one!

Come on in. Can I get you guys some coffee?

I'm a tea guy myself. Earl Grey, little milk.

- Dad? - Oh, my God!

Jerry?

Hi... family.

What the fuck is going on?

You walked out on us to dumpster dive across the multiverse?

You resented me!

The kids didn't respect me. Rick hates me.

How long did it take before you even noticed I was gone?

Oh, we noticed, asshole! Don't put that on us.

Yeah, maybe do something worthy of our respect.

- Like not disappearing. - Good point, Morty.

Oh, now Rick has thoughts on abandonment?

I just said "good point." I'm glad you left.

Coming here was a bad idea.

Hey! Stop disappearing for once!

Mooch loves you guys.

You're all he talks about out there.

- Morty, you love to eat bugs... - Sure do!

...and Summer, you hate showering.

Not as much anymore, I've actually been working on it.

Aw, honey!

It's true. I miss you guys so much.

I mean, after wandering around a bit, I did come back.

But Beth had met Paul and you all seemed so happy.

We are happy.

But that doesn't mean we hate you.

I mean, we hate you a little bit.

Yeah, P-Paul's pretty cool.

I-I don't wanna say we "won the breakup" but--

Guys, don't pile on! Jerry's trying to apologize!

No, I deserve it.

I thought you took me for granted,

but it was the other way around.

- Rick. - Here we go.

I promised Jerry I'd get him home.

- Is there any way-- - Address?

Oh, uh...

Is it a number? Or like a lot of letters?

Uh-oh.

We say "Parmesan" weird, like "Parmee-sian."

D-Does your portal gun use keywords?

We could go door-to-door?

We cannot go door-to-door.

Hey, maybe we-- we just get back on the road?

There's a shed by the high school, we'll-- we'll show you.

If these guys try to kill me in the shed, I will not hold back.

- Fair's fair. - I'll be mean about it.

Mean deaths.

- Can you blame me for leaving? - No, I get it.

It was really great to see you guys.

Thanks for taking care of them, Paul.

It's your family, Jerry. I'm just living in it.

Bye, Jer. See you around.

Let's go.

The only way back to your reality is through Grand Central.

Those Bandana Jerrys will be on the lookout for us.

I know. But I've got an idea.

Leave my reality.

Oh, hey, guys.

Oh! Uh, hi... Jerry.

Loving the, uh, five o'clock shadow.

And I love your... bandana.

They're onto us! Run!

Stop them! It's Mooch and that other guy!

My beans!

- Where am I going? - Couch!

Rick's "lost remote control" nexus!

Dive, dive, dive!

Boss! We got a problem!

What the hell?

You fucked up now, Mooch.

You should've just stayed off the road.

Damn it! He knows all the exits.

This is a dream. This is some kind of weird hallucination.

I-I ate too many mushrooms.

- Excuse me? - Back to the couch!

Hey! Not cool, man!

I'll never stop chasing you, Mooch!

The road is mine!

Shit! This guy is persistent!

He'd probably really thrive at American Eagle.

I-I got an idea.

It's risky, but do you trust me?

Hey, I'm you, brother.

I'm so glad making the mouse big didn't kill it!

It eventually might.

It's-it's-it's like big dogs, or Andre The Giant--

Stop, stop, the mouse is gonna be okay!

Those doubling-back sons of bitches!

Oh, B-Boss, you just missed it.

Those guys came by on a giant mouse.

You're fucking useless, you know that?

Ow! T-That-- That cool jacket changed you, Jerry!

You're a mean guy now!

And you pull me out of my chairs too much!

- Hey! - Get the golf cart!

Hey!

There they are!

Quick, come on!

I'm gonna kill you, Mooch!

And then I'm gonna fuck your wife!

Good luck! She's married!

It's Jerrys like you that make me sick!

Why can't you just stay home?

I'm trying!

You guys suck! You're weak!

Not like me, I'm cool! I'm nothing like you!

He's got a gun?

No! No!

Happy trails, bitch.

Think those other Jerrys will be okay?

Will we? I think I maybe just killed a guy.

You can't think about it.

It's the one thing I've learned, you can't think about it.

Well. This is me.

Nice place you got here.

Thanks.

So, what are you gonna do now?

You could hang out here for a bit.

I-I can always have Beth buy more cereal.

I've eaten on someone else's tab long enough.

Besides, maybe Boss Jerry's gone now

and the road can open back up.

Hell of a trip, Eagle Man.

See you around, Mooch.

What the hell? Guys! I found him! He was in the bedroom!

I-I thought I checked in here.

You guys were looking for me?

Okay, good, you found him.

Told you I didn't compost his ass.

God, get blamed for everything.

We were so worried about you, Jerry.

You missed Morty mating with an octopus.

It'll probably happen again.

What were you even doing up here?

Oh, you know, just taking some "me" time.

Gross!

Well, I wasn't jerking off, if that's what you're implying.

Ew, what the fuck?

Who said that? You just look grody!

Yeah, y-you need to get out more, Dad.

- What the fuck was that? - Uh, nothing.

A guy like you might be good for ya.

I-I think I saw a yak out there.

If I capture it and keep it alive,

I should be able to drink its piss for two weeks.

Probably even three.

Hey, Dad, have you seen the--

Oh, God, Jesus! Come on, Dad!

What? It's the culture of the show!

You're supposed to watch it naked!

It is the culture of the show, honey.

Guys! We all use those couches!

You're so right about this guy.

Turn it up.

Did you get any of that?