Original subtitles

This programme contains very strong language from the start.

Um, what about lunch? Well, I mean, do you go out?

Is there, um, is there a canteen, or...?

Well, is there a Pret nearby?

CHUCKLES

There's not even a Pret?

Um...

Off. Off. Off.

No, no, no. No, Jamie.

Um, no, I'm, I'm not nervous, I just... Well, I don't know,

it's a new job.

HE CHUCKLES

Well, I mean, you're used to that place.

For me, it's... Well, it's, it's not new exactly

but it's, um... Well, it's newish. HE CHUCKLES

I'm totally fine. Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, um, there is one other thing I wanted to ask.

Um...

..should I take any precautions, or...?

Well, I don't know, I mean it is...it's a prison, so...

I suppose I'm just asking - how safe is it?

Yeah, I'll take these.

OK.

Do you want to wear them out?

I can bin these if you want.

No, no, I'm, going on a date later tonight, so...

Right.

In these?

Yeah. No, um, bin those.

Ah.

UNDER BREATH: Fuck me.

Is it the same girl that I met?

Yeah, yeah. Jess.

She's nice.

Wow, emotional.

I mean, I'm tearing up.

What is it, two months now? It's long-term for you, innit?

Oh, God, look at him. He's doing a shit.

Oh, God, I love that expression.

DAN LAUGHS

Look at it.

Like, the concentration.

HE SIGHS

How did you get that one, Lee?

Oh, yeah.

That's where the knife came out.

Oh, bloody hell!

It was a father and a son. I owed 'em money.

I remember waking up in this empty industrial kitchen.

I saw 'em and then I heard the sound of the knife sharpening...

- Oh, my God! - ..and then I thought, "Fuck."

Dad, he says, "Right, where do you want to get stabbed?"

I'm like, "Well no-fucking-where."

And then he swings the knife like that and he says,

"I said, where do you want to get fucking stabbed?"

I said, "Well, my leg'"

What? You said the leg, then he just fucking...?

Yeah. He shoved it right up to the handle.

No, it weren't too bad at first.

I looked down, I thought, eh, it felt like getting punched.

But then the son, he runs over and he kicks it.

- Oh, Jesus! - Oh, my God.

I, like, screamed my guts out.

They start panicking, they're shouting

they're going to cut my throat if I don't stop, but I can't.

I physically cannot stop screaming, right?

Like, my face is saying, "Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, it's mad, innit?"

But my mouth is like, "Argh..."

Then what happened?

Then they dumped me on some estate.

And I pass out, and I wake up, crawl and pass out, wake up, crawl.

And then one time I wake up and I'm in hospital.

Don't know how you're still here.

Oh, he's the reason I'm still here - little man.

Do you want to look at his poo?

Absolutely.

Wahey! Yeah.

Does it scare you? Being a dad?

Nah, I'm three years clean, Dan.

No, no, I don't mean that. I mean, you know, our upbringing.

Nah. Way I see it, every generation gets its chance to change.

You know, me and you, we're ours.

Hmm.

- Can I ask YOU something? - Mm-hm.

Why'd you get a fucking job in prison?

Well, it's just a job.

Was it cos of me?

No.

Dad?

Dad? No! Fuck, no.

No.

God, no.

Not seen him for 25 years.

If it was another 25, that'd still be too soon.

Then, why?

Well...

..I don't know.

Do you think I'd be a good dad?

You? Yeah, you'd be a great dad. Why?

Just wondering.

That is not a good idea.

No, but if I could just, widen the toecap.

See there's...there's, like, a steel bit here.

I'm just going to try and...

..widen.

LOUD TAPPING

Dan. Dan.

That is going to go horribly wrong.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, I think I've bent the cap. Fuck.

- Feels like there's a blade in there. - Oh.

OK, this would really reflect very well on you right now

if you resisted the temptation to say...

I told you so.

Yeah.

KEYS CLACK

Hello.

- Stop. - What?

That. I need to finish this.

Yeah, but if you give me sex, then the prisoners might respect me.

Oh, I think your um, blade-y toecap boots will achieve that, don't you?

Yeah.

You going to go into the office today?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I am in the morning.

Um, and then I'm... I'm going to the IVF clinic.

Oh, right.

OK.

Dan, I did tell you.

No, I know you did.

Like, on our first date. It was, it was quite up front.

Yeah, you were. No, I know you were.

You were... I just thought...

So who's the dad?

Donor, not dad.

I've never met him.

He's, um. He's mid-20s.

Got dark hair. Athletic, apparently.

Oh, an athlete? Oh, nice.

Are you jealous? Of a man I've literally never met?

Yeah, still, I feel like, if I ever met him, I'd have to...

..beat the living shit out of him.

JESS LAUGHS

Hey...

..so what about, like, me?

As the donor.

- Jesus Christ. - I could be a dad. No, it's some...

- Dan... - It's something that I've thought about a lot.

We've known each other for eight weeks!

Well, I've thought about it lots ever since you first mentioned it,

and I...I feel like maybe now...

- Maybe now, what? - Well, I don't know.

What, now some woman you've slept with six times is trying to have

- a baby, you've decided she's the one? - No, not, not THE one...

Oh, NOT the one - just a one?

A one with a reproductive system.

Is this because your brother's had a baby?

No, I. It's... I just...

Can't we just take some time to think about it?

No!

No, the embryo's at blastocyst.

It's ready to go in, today.

What time's your appointment?

- It's at 3:15 but I'm... - OK.

Call in sick, stay here, think about it,

and if we both think it's worth a go, then we can go to

- the appointment together. - This is not a fucking game.

OK, Jess, honestly, ever since you first told me about it,

I haven't been able to think of anything else.

And I have wanted to mention it, I just didn't know how.

I didn't know that it was...coming up this quick.

I just know that you're going to make an amazing mum.

So maybe we could do it together? Try it together?

And if we don't work out, you can just sue me for child support.

SHE TUTS

Now, see, I don't need to sue you for child support, though, do I?

- I was joking. - Cos I make literally five times your salary.

- Yeah, OK. - Yeah.

SHE CHUCKLES

I get a little break at lunch today at 12.

Can I call you then?

You'll call me?

Mm-hm, yeah.

Midday. I'll call.

Sorry, I have to make quite an important call today at 12.

Well, you're down to finish at 1:45, so...

Oh, right. I can't take my phone in?

What, in there? In that prison?

OK. Can I come back here?

I'd have to sign you out and back in again.

Look, ask your duty officer during your break.

Maybe they can arrange an escort back.

- It is... It is quite an important call... - Ask your duty officer, OK?

BUZZER

I did leave my phone in the locker, didn't I?

I don't know. Did you leave your phone in your locker?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

- Good. - I did. - You don't want to

A phone past here is automatic prosecution.

Automatic.

Yeah.

No, I did, I did. I put it in. I put it in.

I'm going to check.

Yeah. Yes. It was...

BUZZER

WHIRRING

LIVELY CHATTER

What the fuck do you think you're going to do with them?

What are you doing here?

These are men.

They won't get you, boy.

These are fucking men.

Dan?

- Hey. LAUGHS: - You coming in or what?!

Yeah.

JAMIE CHUCKLES

- UNDER BREATH: Oh, fuck. - Are you OK?

Yeah, yeah. Just new shoes.

Oh, you poor love.

Oh, fuck off, Jamie. It hurts.

So, first day.

- Yeah. - It's going to be fine.

I think they're really going to respond to you.

Now, I don't know how many there'll be.

It could be four, it could be 14 -

it depends what's happening on landings -

but I looked over your lesson plan and I think it's really good.

- Cool. - I took the liberty of jotting some visual aids up here

for you to use.

No, no. I want to change it, Jamie.

Make it easier.

These men, I want them to get me.

- OUTSIDE: - Quieten down. Free flow!

DOOR UNLOCKS

Psychology?

Um, no. Philosophy.

Er, maybe you could introduce yourselves as you enter?

- I'm Malik. - Macca. - No.

I already came in, boss. Shall I go out and come back in again?

What we doing?

Introducing ourselves as we enter.

- Hi. - Zac, where you going?

We've to go out and come back in again. Boss.

- What? - Sorry, no. That's not what I...

Once they're in, please keep them in. Please.

- OK. - Pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Junior.

- Junior. - I'm an entrepreneur, yeah?

No more circus tricks, please.

Um...

DOOR LOCKS

So, do we just start, or...?

OK. I, um, would like to begin with a problem

that's been around for a very long time.

Um...what makes you you?

Is the you from ten years ago the same you that sits in this room now?

No, cos he ain't in fucking prison.

SCATTERED CHUCKLES

Traditionally there are two schools of thought on this.

There's the Cartesians. Um...

Cartesian just mean...

Actually, don't...

Don't worry about what Cartesian means, it just means...

BLOWING NOSE LOUDLY

..of the philosopher Descartes.

Rene Descartes - 1596.

It's soul.

HE SIGHS

The first answer to what makes you you is your soul.

But that is not a... It's not a very satisfactory answer.

Um, what is a soul?

HE YAWNS

Do we even really have a soul?

I do.

- And so the other answer... - I've got a soul.

..is matter.

- It's your... - How else would I have a relationship with

Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?

..body. It's your material,

and that is called materialism.

Um, but bodies change.

You know, your cells replace entirely every eight years,

and so materialism's no good either, right?

But then, um, Locke comes along and...

John Locke, John Locke.

And his key insight was memory.

Your memory connects...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That's no right.

- Excuse me? - That is not what Locke said.

John Locke was talking about consciousness. No fucking memory.

Which is a total load of bollocks, if you ask me.

So say ten years ago I stabbed someone, right?

And I've got a shitty brief and I get a 14 stretch -

well, according to Locke, the only reason this current me

is in prison is because of some ephemeral thing

called consciousness, which may or may not exist.

Well, how's that any different from the Cartesians, ya cunt?

Fuck you, Locke.

I'll take materialism all day.

Materialism's real. Materialism earns me my sentence.

That's if I stabbed someone ten years ago.

Which I did.

I'd like us to use this as a talking stick.

Um, a talking stick is...

We know what a fucking talking stick is.

See, I think we should be looking at Rousseau, all right?

Rousseau tears Locke a new arsehole on this stuff.

Have you read The Social Contract, that first line?

"Man is born free, yet everywhere he's in chains."

Now that's a fucking subject.

None of this fucking Lockean self-wank over "who am I?" bollocks.

I mean, grow the fuck up, man!

OK. Um...

SCATTERED CHUCKLES

- Oh, here we go. - You want to talk about freedom?

Ah! Ha-ha! The Odyssey.

Now, there's a story, boys.

So, Odysseus has to cross the Straight of Messina.

But on the rocks live the sirens - terrifying half-bird creatures who

sing a song so beautiful that any man who hears it becomes instantly

drunk with love and swims to them,

where the sirens feast on his flesh.

The sirens are crack.

MUTTERING

Mate, they even live on rocks.

To cross, Odysseus orders his men to put wax in their ears,

and he gets them to tie him to the mast

so that he can say when it's safe.

They set sail.

Odysseus hears the song and it reaches into his heart.

He begs to be untied, but the crew carry on.

All except one man, who sees the longing in Odysseus

and aches to know what it feels like.

The man takes his wax out, jumps overboard and is devoured alive.

So, there's the men with wax in their ears, there's Odysseus

and there's the man who jumped.

Who is the most free?

The men with wax in their ears.

Why?

Cos they just got on with it.

It's like us, right?

I've got freedoms that people on the out haven't.

Don't have to pay bills, don't have to go shopping,

don't even have to find a dentist.

I'm totally free of choice.

But doesn't your lack of choice mean that you're NOT free?

Two weeks ago, there was a lockdown.

23 hours a day bang-up, one-hour sosh.

Know what I did with my hour?

Stayed in me pad, sat on me bunk and read.

- Jesus. - Because I could. - That's depressing, man.

I'm not like yous, always clowning around.

- I focus. - You focus on what?

The jizz crusts clinging to your wall?

LAUGHTER

I focus on my daughter.

Hmm? I focus on being a dad.

Every day, I write her a letter.

One letter, every single day.

I want her to know that she's got a da that loves her.

Yeah, that's nice, Wallace, but you got to engage, man.

Freedom isn't hiding.

OK. So, Junior, right? Who do you think is the most free?

Odysseus.

He's the king.

You know, people have no choice but to do what he says, yeah.

Them man with the wax in their ears, they're just foot soldiers.

Hear me? You have to rise and excel.

I agree with that, yeah.

Life's about being something, not waiting.

You're not even a dad - you don't know what life's about.

Yet. I'm not a dad, yet.

21-week scan.

My son.

Huh? I do know what life's about.

Junior borrowed me some of his business books.

Fucking amazing!

I'm going to provide for my boy.

Free your mind, free your circumstance,

then - free the cash.

Malik, though, that foetus is on the outside and you're in here.

For now.

My brief says I've got a very good chance of overturning sentencing.

I'll tell you all right now - I'll be holding my boy as he takes

his first breath and, right there and then, I'ma write him a cheque

for �10 million to be cashed on his tenth birthday.

You haven't got a cheque book.

All right, a fucking postal order, then.

Yeah, one could look at it from

a neuroscientific perspective, you know. Quantum mechanics.

Zac, who do you think is most free?

Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hold on. I've got the talking fucking bag.

Sorry. Zac.

Easy. It's the man what jumped.

- JUNIOR: - Yeah, but he was under a spell, Zac.

- ZAC: - Yeah, which he chose to give in to.

See, all the rest have either got wax in their ears or they're tied

to their sticks, yeah? You think that's freedom? Nah.

The jumper takes one look at the beautiful bird-women

and he says, "Fuck the consequence, I want that."

So, in that moment, he is free.

It's no wonder you're in a cell.

You're in a fucking cell as well, Wallace.

You ain't better than me.

He can't even decide what his addiction is.

What is it, meth? The crack? Or women?

It's cracks of women.

And crack.

THEY LAUGH

You madman!

I'm doing a five-year remote learning course

on environmental construction.

- Environmental...? - Construction.

Me little girl, she did a paper for her exams all about

how to build in sustainable ways.

Got the paper up on me wall.

Proper little environmentalist, she is.

When I get out, I'm going to help her.

You wouldn't believe the things you can do with straw these days.

HE SNICKERS

And you. You chat about loving rock, hmm? About loving pussy?

That's nowt compared to the love that a da for his daughter.

Yeah, man. We all got fucking daughters.

Fatherhood, that's real freedom.

But it's no fucking joke.

- KEITH: - Can you go into Tesco's and get a meal deal?

Well, you don't exactly need Bitcoin to spend �3, mate.

How do you know you've really got it, then?

How do you know you've got the money in your account right now?

- It's all digital. - Yeah, but how do you do it with Bitcoin, then?

It's not all about Bitcoin.

- ZAC: - Boss, how long's this break going to last?

- You got to think Solana, you got to think Ethereum, yeah. - It lasts as

- long as it lasts. - You need multiple accounts. You know this stuff

can get you each a Rolex in the next six months. Guaranteed.

Where's your Rolex, then?

It's waiting for me on the other side of endeavour.

Christ. I think I just threw up in my mouth.

You're going to have to sit tight. There's been an incident.

What, erm, sorry, what kind of incident?

Some idiot got served his divorce papers so he's jumped on the net.

We've got to wait for the tornado team.

OK, but I... I have to make a phone call.

Oh, wow.

Well, why didn't you say?

An idiot on the net shuts us down.

Look, I'm sorry, it's really important.

Wait here.

So what's it for? Philosophy?

Oh, well, philosophy is, it's ancient Greek...

No, but what can you do with it? What job do you have?

Well, this one.

- KEITH: - I want to get change.

- JUNIOR: - So this money's in the cloud...

So who do you think is most free, in the Sirens story?

None of them.

That's why it's called free-dumb.

Only an idiot would believe in freedom.

- OFFICER: - Well? Are you coming?

Yes. Thank you.

LOUD VOICES

I'm free!

And you can fuck off.

You cancelled my visit.

Get me wife on the phone!

Make this quick, yeah?

If the tornado team gets antsy, you won't be able to get back in.

HE SIGHS

What you doing?

Sorry, the, um, the...

The switch was on.

They just called through.

They're closing the landing.

You have to get back in there now.

Hi, it's Jess, leave a message.

Hey, Jess. It's me. It's Dan.

Look, I'm sorry that I didn't get to call earlier, there was...

..there was someone on the net.

Look, I've, erm... I've got to go back in now. But, um...

..don't do it. The implantation.

Please. Call them up and cancel it and do it with me instead. OK?

I'll meet you there at 3:15 and I'll do tests

and we can start the process together.

OK, I know this sounds mad.

But I...

I don't know, I mean this. I'm serious about it.

OK.

Come on, come on, come on, come on!

What you doing?

BUZZER

Sorry. I had to do a thing.

Yeah.

ALARM BLARES

VOICES APPROACH

Yes, Dan.

- All right. - KEITH: - Oh, you came back?

Round two, here we go.

DOOR CLOSES, LOCK CLICKS

DAN CLEARS HIS THROAT

Zeus wanted to punish Epimetheus for giving fire to humans,

so he gave a beautiful box to his wife, Pandora.

She opened it and seven evils flew out.

Hatred, shame, greed, boredom,

laziness, delusion...and pain.

But then a voice inside called out.

Pandora opened it once again,

and hope...

..flew out.

If you could put one evil back in the box, what would it be?

Hope. Fuck the evils!

Put hope back in the box.

Yeah, put it in right now.

You all right, Malik?

Just called my brief.

I lost my right to appeal.

What? How?

They didn't submit the paperwork on time.

But the date it had to be in by was 8/5/25.

8th of May.

But hear what, her new assistant's American.

- These pricks read dates backwards or something. - Oh!

What's 8/5/25 in American, then?

5th of August.

Too late. The appeal's dead.

What, that's just it?

Date's gone, Dan.

- That's not fair. - Fair? We are the dross.

Dan, that shit is standard.

I had like 12 minutes with my brief before we go in, yeah.

He says my name wrong three times.

Mine went into the wrong courtroom.

I feel like I...I just want to...fucking kill someone, you know?

Like I just want to like beat someone's fucking, fucking face in.

Last year, I had, um... I had a parole hearing.

And I'd done everything right.

Was on every programme, kept my enhanced the whole stretch -

model con, I was.

It took six minutes.

"Nope."

So I went on hunger strike.

My hope was dead, see?

Then, after a couple of days, two kids on my landing,

they noticed I hadn't eaten, they brought a plate to my door.

And I started hoping again.

There's too many decent people around to not hope.

CHAIR CLATTERS

- Sit down. - Malik. You're still going to be a dad, OK?

They can't take that from you. You're still going to be a dad.

- Yeah? - They did fucking take it from me!

Sanitised.

You've sanitised it.

It reeks of Dettol, Dan, and you know it.

That is not the myth of Pandora.

I'm not sure this is the right time...

The earliest, most accepted version of the myth of Pandora

is found in Hesiod, who tells us it's Prometheus who steals fire.

Not Epimetheus.

- Look, I really don't think that... - And it's not what Pandora releases

that's the punishment, it's Pandora herself.

Pandora is the first woman fashioned of clay by the gods.

- WALLACE: - Clay's actually a very sustainable building material.

What the fuck has that got to do with anything?

What Dan so assiduously omits is that Pandora

is made of the self-same clay that the jar is made of.

- What jar? - The jar with the spirits in.

- You said they were in a box. - Were they fuck in a box!

Right, well, no, box is a mistranslation,

but people commonly refer to it as, as...

Boss, if it's a jar, just say it's a jar.

The vessel doesn't matter, Junior. It's what's inside that counts.

Only, the vessel does matter, though, doesn't it, Dan?

Because a jar is made of clay, and a box is not.

- WALLACE: - Very low on carbon emissions, as well, clay.

Trounces concrete.

It ain't that kind of clay, Wallace!

Dan is deliberately choosing to sell us the false version.

- False. - OK, right. Why am I doing that, Keith?

Because of what the myth is really saying.

The jar and Pandora are one and the same, ergo it says woman

is the cause of all man's ills.

OK, you think I'm scared to debate women with you?

I think you've been inculcated by the mores of the current

political clime and, all due respect, I think you're a coward.

You don't know anything about me.

Your fucking hair tells me all I need to know about you, pal.

THEY CHUCKLE

OK, all right.

So you think that woman are responsible for the ills of society?

Well, take a look at these boys here, hmm?

Do you think any of them's inside because they weren't on some level

trying to impress a girl?

That cunt there wants to kill.

Did you not get the memo, Daniel?

We're all toxic.

We're a gender in retreat and we in here, the most mannish of men,

we're the sharp end - our relevance evaporating whilst

we shank each other in the showers.

And you want to come here and start talking about spirits and ghosties?

I mean, you're wanking while Rome burns, man.

You're fucking killing us!

What me, personally, or...?

Well, I don't blame women. They're taking what's theirs.

It's the likes of you.

With your oat milks and your moisturised elbows,

waxing your arseholes, keeping your balls all nice and shiny.

CHUCKLING

You deny your masculinity. You're terrified of it.

Tell me, Dan - do you cover your eyes when you take a piss?

Look, OK. All right. Look, Keith, have I said something to upset you?

You are rippling with shame, man!

Appalled by that undeniable hard-wired instinct deep within

your soul that just wants you to roll around

in a big pile of fucking titties.

Now we are talking!

OK, you want to talk about women? OK.

In ancient Greece, women couldn't vote, they couldn't own land,

they couldn't inherit, they could legally be murdered for infidelity.

And then that society has the gall to create a myth blaming them

for all the world's ills. And that society is where ours comes from.

So, yeah, Keith, undoing that, I'm all for it.

Oh, lovely, Daniel. What a wonderful human being you are.

I mean, give the man a pickle.

Turns out he's an expert on Greek society,

yet he can't remember that a box is a fucking jar!

You wanted a debate about women.

No, no, no, no. You did.

You're the one who brought in Pandora, you brought in the sirens.

What are you trying to force on us here, hmm?

The future has a vaginal tint?

We should all go and fucking kill ourselves, is that it?

Cos that's all I hear these days.

"Don't be you.

"Don't be you. Don't be you. Just...

"..don't be you."

Well, what the fuck should I be?!

Eh?

Women have got us on the ropes, and good luck to them, they deserve it.

But you see, when I get a battering, I punch back.

- WALLACE: - Excellent insulation properties as well, clay.

Excellent. And, of course, the thing about insulation...

This ain't about your fucking daughter, Wallace!

Aye, it is! He's talking shit about women, what the fuck

do you think my little girl's going to grow into?

Grow into? She's already a grown-arse woman.

That's what she already is! She's already a grown-arse woman.

We all know that! "Little girl."

She hasn't been a little girl in years.

We've all seen the essay up on your wall, yeah?

It's been up there for donkeys.

A tatty fucking thing it is, yeah.

You write every day, big man, yeah?

- He's writing to his little girl. - OK, um...

You write it, she don't read it.

- Zac. - Not once has she sent you anything back.

What is she, like 25 now? 28?

She wrote that for her fucking GSCEs, Wallace!

She's forgot about that crap now!

Just like she forgot about you rotting here.

Dead to her.

What? Don't you fucking dare!

Argh!

- Fuckin' hell, man! - Fucking...!

Argh!

Your boot's leaking, boss.

Is that blood? Is that blood?!

Is that blood?!

It's your blood, Daniel.

You've ripped off a toenail.

- Are you serious? - Yeah.

I can see the bone.

Oh, you're going to need stitches.

- Oh, my God! - Hmm.

OK, look, I, um, I need to be somewhere.

A&E's where you need to be.

DOOR OPENS

All right, circus is over.

Come on, the rest of you, back to your cells.

- KEITH: - Well, I have to say, I really enjoyed that.

Same time next week.

Box is another word for fanny.

Pandora's fanny.

Nobody mentioned it, but that could play into the whole female thing.

Come on, lads, let's have you.

What's the right answer?

Which one of the spirits go back in the box?

- Come on. - There isn't a right answer.

Then what's the point in asking the fucking question?!

DAN SIGHS

OFFICER CHUCKLES

Look, I do... I do really need to be somewhere.

You need stitches. I'm checking you out, then I'm taking you to A&E.

- Is that the boss' new boyfriend?! - Can't you just patch it up?

No, I cannot just patch it up.

WOLF WHISTLE

All right, hang on a minute, wait. Just...just hold on. I, um...

OK, I need to be at an IVF clinic.

It's to donate semen. I think.

- You think? - Yeah.

It's... It's complicated.

I need... I need to make a phone call, and then...

I don't know. Oh, fucking hell, I don't know.

I'll tell you what, I'll take you to your phone.

You make the call, hmm?

If you need to be at the clinic, I'll take you there.

Once you've flung it out, then I'll take you to A&E.

Then a psychiatrist.

Then a fucking life coach or something, I don't know.

Son.

Dad, Daddy, Dad!

Aw, I've missed you!

LINE RINGS

- Dan. - Jess.

Hey, look, I'm really sorry that we...

..that we didn't get to speak.

It's, um...

It's been a bit mad, to be honest.

It's OK.

No, honestly, Jess, I'm...

I'm really sorry.

It's OK. Really.

No. It's not. That's not what I'm apologising for.

I, um...

I don't think I can be a dad.

I'm sorry.

I'm not ready.

You're not ready?

Yeah, um...

Jess?

But you left a message.

You said to cancel the implantation.

- You know they don't just put it back in the freezer, right? - Oh, fuck me.

You know cancelling is destroying?

Yeah. Look, um...

Jess, I'm so sorry. I really haven't meant to mess you around here.

I just think... I think that, um...

I think that maybe you're right. You know, maybe it's got

something to do with my brother or something like that, you know?

Um... Yeah.

Jess, I'm so sorry.

You're fucking sorry.

SHE SCOFFS

I had the implantation.

What?

Yeah, there was a cancellation.

They called and said, if I was in by ten, I could have the slot.

It was all done and dusted by 10:20.

So it's in there now? The athlete's...?

It's not his, Dan - it's mine.

Can I just ask...

..why didn't you want me?

It's not that I don't want you.

It's that I don't need you.

LINE BEEPS

You coming?

Hey, you bleed in my fucking car

and I'm cutting open that other foot. You hear me?

Thanks for being with me here today.

I really, I really appreciate you doing this.

It's all right. I mean, I couldn't let you come here alone.

Well, that's very, that's very kind...

No, no, I mean I COULDN'T let you come here alone.

I'm not allowed to.

You bled in the prison, I was the officer on scene,

it's my name on the accident report.

Sorry you're not going to be a dad.

Yeah. Probably for the best.

My dad was a nightmare.

I probably shouldn't pass that on.

Nightmare how?

A lot of time in prison, for one.

- Really?! - Mm.

So how comes you're like...

..this?

A fucking philosopher, Dan.

Well, my mum left him when I was nine,

she re-married and...

..I got away from him. Y'know, I got out.

Ended up doing this.

You were totally shit today.

You got the men all riled up,

didn't have any control that I could see and then you bled on the floor.

I mean, you actually bled on the floor.

But they liked what you did.

They liked the lesson.

They can't say that they did, but...

..they did.

You don't need these, OK? Next time, just wear trainers.

Do you still see your dad now?

No.

No, I don't see him any more.

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