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Downloaded from
YTS.LT
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.LT
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You're not putting enough paint
on the roller, Randy.
4
00:00:34,074 --> 00:00:35,368
I'm doing my best, Julian.
5
00:00:35,409 --> 00:00:36,743
I think it looks pretty good.
6
00:00:36,785 --> 00:00:39,205
Park Resident: FUCK OFF
WITH THE FLAMING SHIT BAGS!
7
00:00:40,039 --> 00:00:43,292
Hey. You little bastards.
8
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:44,668
Nice one dick moss.
9
00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:46,670
I'm not paying for pretty good.
It looks like shit.
10
00:00:46,712 --> 00:00:48,714
You haven't paid me
anything yet.
11
00:00:49,006 --> 00:00:53,386
Fuck you, you dirty whore of a
fucking ass fucking hippo slut.
Ugh!
12
00:00:53,427 --> 00:00:56,055
Ricky, why don't you just take
it down to Grover and get him
to fix it?
13
00:00:56,096 --> 00:00:59,725
I told you, never mention
whale cock's name ever
again around me.
14
00:00:59,766 --> 00:01:02,644
Me and Lucy break up for a
day and she ends up
banging somebody,
15
00:01:02,686 --> 00:01:04,855
my fucking mechanic that I've
used for my whole life
16
00:01:04,897 --> 00:01:08,817
and apparently he's
bigger than me.
17
00:01:08,859 --> 00:01:12,405
Fucking a lot bigger I guess.
And he's fucking dead to me.
18
00:01:12,446 --> 00:01:14,532
Bubbles:
Holy sweet flying fuck!
19
00:01:14,573 --> 00:01:16,992
Holy fuck! Boys!
20
00:01:17,034 --> 00:01:18,994
We did it! We did it!
21
00:01:19,036 --> 00:01:21,914
Holy fuck. We did it!
22
00:01:21,955 --> 00:01:24,750
Bubs, what did we do? Bubs?
23
00:01:24,791 --> 00:01:27,211
The internet. The internet!
24
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,838
Contest. Rush. We did it.
25
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,340
Calm down.
26
00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:32,425
Rush! Rush!
27
00:01:32,466 --> 00:01:34,676
Calm down. What is it, boy?
28
00:01:34,718 --> 00:01:36,929
What are you trying to say?
29
00:01:36,970 --> 00:01:38,264
The internet contest we entered.
30
00:01:38,305 --> 00:01:40,349
Ricky, Rush's biggest fan.
31
00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:43,060
We fucking won!
32
00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:45,687
The thing that you...
Jesus Chris.
33
00:01:45,729 --> 00:01:47,773
That thing you made me
and Julian dress up for a
few weeks ago?
34
00:01:47,814 --> 00:01:51,068
Yes, Ricky.
They picked our video.
35
00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:52,194
Ricky:
What?
36
00:01:52,236 --> 00:01:54,572
We're going to see Rush
in Ireland!
37
00:01:54,613 --> 00:01:57,533
Deedle-deedle-deedle-dee.
38
00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,659
Right on man.
39
00:01:59,701 --> 00:02:03,038
Rush, the greatest rock band of
all time put a contest on the
internet looking for
40
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:08,127
their biggest fan and that's me.
So I figured the best way you
know to-to get their
41
00:02:08,168 --> 00:02:11,880
attention would be to reshoot
one of their classic videos
from the seventies.
42
00:02:11,922 --> 00:02:18,304
So I built Neil Peart's entire
fucking drum kit out of old
buckets and garbage can lids
43
00:02:18,345 --> 00:02:21,932
and just shitty old shit I
found around the park, put
nice glitter paint on it,
44
00:02:21,974 --> 00:02:27,062
made it look fucking awesome.
Decent. Took some old guitars
and I painted them up
45
00:02:27,104 --> 00:02:29,315
and added all the parts to
them I needed.
46
00:02:29,356 --> 00:02:33,902
Went to the clothing store, the
used store there and I got some
nice old kimonos
47
00:02:33,944 --> 00:02:38,073
from the seventies, Japanese
kimonos and I got Randy to film
me,
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00:02:38,115 --> 00:02:41,118
Ricky and Julian lip synching
"Closer to the Heart".
49
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,495
Julian: Bubs, am I gonna be in
this fucking video or what?
50
00:02:42,536 --> 00:02:44,580
Yes. He's gonna get shots
of you too.
51
00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:47,082
Make sure you get some shots and
just try to you know
52
00:02:47,124 --> 00:02:49,751
not get too close to the
chicken skin so you can't tell
what it is.
53
00:02:49,793 --> 00:02:50,668
Right on.
54
00:02:50,710 --> 00:02:51,587
Bubbles:
'Kay are you ready boys?
55
00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:52,296
Yeah.
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00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:54,256
Okay let's do this.
57
00:02:54,298 --> 00:02:57,259
What are the first words that
get sanged?
58
00:02:57,301 --> 00:02:59,803
Julian:
Holy fuck.
59
00:03:05,892 --> 00:03:13,025
♪ Philosophers and Ploughmen
each must know his heart ♪
Fuck! Bubbles, this is fucked.
60
00:03:13,066 --> 00:03:14,776
Bubbles:
What?
61
00:03:14,818 --> 00:03:16,778
The fucking order that he's
saying shit it changes
every time, man.
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00:03:16,820 --> 00:03:17,695
I can't fucking do this.
63
00:03:17,737 --> 00:03:19,114
What are-no it doesn't,
Ricky.
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00:03:19,156 --> 00:03:21,033
It's a fucking cassette tape.
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00:03:21,074 --> 00:03:23,619
I love Bubbles but making that
video with him was a pain in the
fucking ass
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00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:26,788
and I had that nose glued to
my face for like three fucking
days afterwards. Thanks Bubs.
67
00:03:26,830 --> 00:03:29,333
You didn't glue that on,
did you Ricky?
68
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:33,462
That's fucking model glue.
You're gonna be high as a kite.
Did you get it in the nose?
69
00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:36,632
Ah fuck. Great.
Here we go again.
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00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:38,050
Fucking shit glued to my face.
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00:03:38,091 --> 00:03:39,926
Bubs, how many times are we
gonna do this?
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00:03:39,968 --> 00:03:43,305
We gotta do multiple takes
'cuz I gotta edit it together
for fuck sakes.
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00:03:43,347 --> 00:03:44,806
Well tell me what the
order's gonna be this time.
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00:03:44,848 --> 00:03:46,684
I don't even-these words don't
even make fucking sense.
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00:03:46,725 --> 00:03:50,479
Bubbles: Just sing the fucking
words, Ricky.
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00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:53,815
Fucking philo-sophers
and Jesus Christ.
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00:03:53,857 --> 00:03:56,527
Julian: Let's just do it again
and try not to fuck up, Ricky.
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00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:57,403
Ricky:
Fuck off, Julian.
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00:03:57,444 --> 00:03:58,571
Julian:
You fuck off.
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00:03:58,612 --> 00:04:00,113
You're playing buckets.
This is hard, man.
81
00:04:00,155 --> 00:04:02,658
The problem was I just don't
understand the whole lip singing
82
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:05,827
and I don't know what the fuck
Freddy Lee's gonna say next like
it just changes every time.
83
00:04:05,869 --> 00:04:09,164
Julian: Yeah I mean he was
definitely way too stressed
out about the whole thing.
84
00:04:09,206 --> 00:04:12,042
I mean he made me watch
this Rush video twenty-five,
thirty times
85
00:04:12,084 --> 00:04:14,920
and I kind of got the Neil
Peart fucking moves down
86
00:04:14,961 --> 00:04:17,214
but he's the best fucking
drummer in the world
87
00:04:17,256 --> 00:04:21,260
and then he took this piece
of raw chicken skin and glued
it to my face.
88
00:04:21,301 --> 00:04:22,678
I thought I fucking nailed it
that time.
89
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,680
Bubbles: That's not bucket work,
it's chime work.
90
00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,682
Well why don't you get back
here and play the fucking
drums? It's pretty hard.
91
00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:27,891
Bubbles:
I fucking will!
92
00:04:27,933 --> 00:04:29,226
I don't know how to play the
fucking drums.
93
00:04:29,268 --> 00:04:30,436
Bubbles: Glue your chicken
skin on on the sides.
94
00:04:30,477 --> 00:04:32,688
Ricky: Well at least you just
had to drum.
95
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:37,401
I had to fucking try to lip
sang and fucking play the bass
guitar like that's good times.
96
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:40,696
Ricky: Holy fuck buddy. This is
crazy. Are you sure you won the
whole thing?
97
00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:43,782
Oh I fucking won it, Ricky.
Watch this.
98
00:04:43,823 --> 00:04:47,869
Hey Bubbles. It's Alex Lifeson.
How ya doing, buddy? How are
things in Sunnyvale?
99
00:04:47,911 --> 00:04:50,080
I hear it's been pretty busy
down there.
100
00:04:50,122 --> 00:04:54,376
Anyways I just want to
let you know that your
video came in first place.
101
00:04:54,418 --> 00:04:58,797
You did really, really well
despite Ricky's performance,
which
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00:04:58,838 --> 00:05:00,924
Ricky:
My's performance?
103
00:05:00,966 --> 00:05:04,803
Well Geddy and Neil according to
them was pretty shitty but in
all honesty what else
104
00:05:04,844 --> 00:05:10,643
do you expect? But the thing is
the way you nailed that solo
note for note and the
105
00:05:10,684 --> 00:05:15,731
production and the-the
attention to details just blew
everybody away.
106
00:05:15,773 --> 00:05:20,736
I'm very excited to tell you
that as the winner ah you and
three friends will be going to
107
00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:25,907
Dublin. You're gonna see our
almost sold out show there in
Dublin and you'll be traveling
108
00:05:25,949 --> 00:05:31,163
on a semi-private ah jet and
you'll have close to a thousand
dollars in spending money.
109
00:05:31,204 --> 00:05:37,586
So it's pretty
exciting stuff, I know. Ha, ha
ah safe travels,
110
00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:40,631
ah good luck and well see ya in
Dublin there. God bless.
111
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,466
Ricky:
That is fucked!
112
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:43,841
Julian: That's fucking
awesome, man. Right on.
113
00:05:43,883 --> 00:05:46,595
Who's the fourth person you're
gonna take, Bubbles?
114
00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:49,306
Definitely not you. You smell
like a gorilla that just shit on
your fucking chest.
115
00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:51,767
Ricky, be nice.
116
00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:55,604
Well I thought I mean I shot the
video for you guys. I thought
you might take me.
117
00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:57,606
All right but if you're coming
you gotta take a shower first
118
00:05:57,648 --> 00:06:01,151
and you're working for me.
For free.
119
00:06:01,193 --> 00:06:03,945
And if you fuck around
or you piss me off,
we're fucking fighting.
120
00:06:03,987 --> 00:06:05,364
Deal, guys.
121
00:06:05,405 --> 00:06:10,160
Boys, we're going to fucking
Ireland to see Rush.
122
00:06:10,202 --> 00:06:10,786
Yeah
123
00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:17,710
Manananaanamannam
124
00:06:24,424 --> 00:06:26,134
Julian: Randy, what the fuck are
you doing?
125
00:06:26,176 --> 00:06:28,554
Here and stop fucking around.
126
00:06:28,595 --> 00:06:31,973
Bubbles: This is the Rush jet,
right? Sorry we're late.
Hahaha!
127
00:06:32,015 --> 00:06:34,351
Ricky: I hope you guys got a
ton of fucking liquor onboard.
Oh fuck.
128
00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:35,769
Randy:
Hi guys.
129
00:06:35,811 --> 00:06:37,855
Ricky: Holy fancy. Is this how
the richy people live?
130
00:06:37,895 --> 00:06:40,065
Bubbles:
This is how Rush lives, Ricky.
131
00:06:40,106 --> 00:06:41,567
Ricky: Hey. You fucking be
careful with that.
132
00:06:41,608 --> 00:06:43,235
I got my water bottle in there,
you asshole.
133
00:06:43,276 --> 00:06:45,362
Randy:
Fuck. Sorry Ricky.
134
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:48,240
Ricky: Julian, you fucking get
control of him.
135
00:06:48,281 --> 00:06:49,825
Julian:
Stop fucking around, Randy.
136
00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:55,455
Bubbles:
Ireland, here we come!
137
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:57,750
Woo!
138
00:06:57,791 --> 00:06:58,625
Bubbles:
Yeah!
139
00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:01,503
This is fucking awesome, boys.
140
00:07:01,545 --> 00:07:03,171
We're on Rush's jet.
141
00:07:03,213 --> 00:07:05,006
Randy:
Ricky.
142
00:07:05,048 --> 00:07:06,675
Fuck off Randy, get your own.
143
00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:08,218
Julian: Here, take that man.
It tastes like shit.
144
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:09,261
Randy:
Thanks Julian.
145
00:07:09,302 --> 00:07:10,512
Randy's gotta have some
liquor too.
146
00:07:10,554 --> 00:07:13,724
This is good dope, Ricky.
147
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:15,517
What the fuck? You brought dope?
148
00:07:15,559 --> 00:07:17,519
I rolled a couple jet joints,
man.
149
00:07:17,561 --> 00:07:20,188
What do you think Freddy and
Allen don't fucking smoke
dope on here?
150
00:07:20,230 --> 00:07:23,609
Bubbles: My god boys. Well we
gotta smoke them before we land.
151
00:07:23,650 --> 00:07:24,610
There can't be any dope.
152
00:07:24,651 --> 00:07:25,944
Ricky:
Here man.
153
00:07:25,985 --> 00:07:26,862
All right.
154
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:27,946
Oh yeah!
155
00:07:27,987 --> 00:07:30,407
I have to smoke it on
Rush's jet.
156
00:07:33,285 --> 00:07:35,120
Randy:
That's good shit. I'm fucked.
157
00:07:35,161 --> 00:07:37,706
Bubbles: I'm having the best
time of my life!
158
00:07:37,748 --> 00:07:39,374
Ricky:
Yeah buddy! Yeah!
159
00:07:39,416 --> 00:07:44,713
Bubbles: I'm drinking and
smoking dope on Rush's jet!
160
00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:48,258
Ooh hoo hoo, here we go boys!
161
00:08:00,145 --> 00:08:03,273
Boys, I'm pooping at
thirty-eight thousand feet.
162
00:08:03,315 --> 00:08:07,402
Can you close the
fucking door, man?
163
00:08:07,444 --> 00:08:12,616
I'm pooping in Rush's toilet.
164
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:14,159
Hurry up, man. Cut your poop
off. I gotta piss.
165
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,243
Okay here.
166
00:08:15,285 --> 00:08:17,287
Randy:
Pass that to me man.
167
00:08:17,329 --> 00:08:18,622
I'll be out in a second.
168
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:21,667
You're going way too hard, man.
169
00:08:21,708 --> 00:08:22,668
Randy:
Give me one of those.
170
00:08:22,709 --> 00:08:24,252
Couple of ten maybe.
171
00:08:24,294 --> 00:08:25,712
Thanks buddy.
172
00:08:25,754 --> 00:08:29,299
Holy fuck! I lit
her up in there, boys.
I lit her up.
173
00:08:29,341 --> 00:08:31,635
Holy fuck man! Ah fuck!
174
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:34,596
You dumbass.
175
00:08:34,638 --> 00:08:37,474
It's all right. It's private.
It's a private jet.
176
00:08:37,516 --> 00:08:38,767
It's all right, it's private.
177
00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:39,810
Rush will pay for it, man.
178
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,019
Randy:
Yeah Rush'll pay for it.
179
00:08:41,060 --> 00:08:42,312
Pilot:
Tango you guys been?
180
00:08:42,354 --> 00:08:43,814
Bubbles:
Cheers boys.
181
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:44,857
Randy:
Cheers
182
00:08:44,898 --> 00:08:46,775
This is gonna be fucking
awesome.
183
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:48,360
It already is awesome.
184
00:08:48,401 --> 00:08:50,445
Randy: Thanks for letting me
come, guys.
185
00:08:50,487 --> 00:08:52,948
Tell ya what boys, as soon as
I'm retired I'm buying one of
these fucking jets.
186
00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:56,284
Oh fuck Julian. If you can buy
one of these I'll fucking,
187
00:08:56,326 --> 00:08:58,704
I'll give you every cent I have
towards it.
188
00:08:58,745 --> 00:09:01,039
I'll fucking,
haul shopping carts.
189
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:03,500
Julian: Rick, Rick, Ricky,
sit up.
190
00:09:03,542 --> 00:09:05,627
What happened?
191
00:09:05,669 --> 00:09:06,545
What are you doing?
192
00:09:06,586 --> 00:09:08,296
Nothing.
193
00:09:08,338 --> 00:09:10,632
You're passing out, bud.
We're on Rush's jet.
You can't pass out.
194
00:09:10,674 --> 00:09:12,551
Come on. Stay with us.
195
00:09:12,592 --> 00:09:15,303
I'm good, buddy. I'm good.
196
00:09:15,345 --> 00:09:18,974
Who's got your belly? Who's got
your belly at thirty-eight
thousand feet?
197
00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:22,811
Bubbles does.
198
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,564
Julian, when you get a plane get
some cheeseburgers buddy.
199
00:09:25,605 --> 00:09:29,150
Ricky: Did you guys notice how
round-how round the ceiling is?
200
00:09:29,192 --> 00:09:34,322
Yeah Ricky it's a jet.
They're-they're round.
You couldn't have it square.
201
00:09:34,364 --> 00:09:36,033
You're fucked Ricky.
202
00:09:36,074 --> 00:09:37,910
Oh my fuck!
203
00:09:37,951 --> 00:09:39,828
Randy:
This is freaking me out.
204
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,955
What the fuck was that man?
We got hit?
205
00:09:41,997 --> 00:09:46,710
No, it's turbulence, boys. It's
turbulence. It's just different
air pockets and things.
206
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:51,089
I fucking think that's decent.
That's just like Chuck Yeager
and all the astronauts
207
00:09:51,130 --> 00:09:53,216
experience that stuff.
208
00:09:53,258 --> 00:09:54,843
I thought we got hit with a
fucking missile or something.
209
00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:57,512
No, Ricky. Nobody's shooting
missiles at us.
210
00:09:57,554 --> 00:10:01,516
It's just turbulence.
Shooting missiles at us,
you're baked Ricky.
211
00:10:01,558 --> 00:10:04,728
There she is I can see the coast
of Ireland boys.
212
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,439
Ricky: Holy fuck boys. Those
mushrooms, wow.
213
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:13,528
I can see Ireland. Look Ricky.
That's Ireland. Look.
214
00:10:13,570 --> 00:10:16,197
It does kind of look like an
iron.
215
00:10:16,239 --> 00:10:20,577
Julian: An iron, it's not shaped
like an iron. It's Ireland.
216
00:10:34,591 --> 00:10:39,721
Come on boys! We made it.
We made it!
217
00:10:39,763 --> 00:10:43,767
Thank you very much, sir.
Woo Ireland!
218
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,978
Holy fuck.
219
00:10:46,019 --> 00:10:47,646
Yeah.
220
00:10:47,687 --> 00:10:50,732
Come on boys. Ricky,
straighten yourself out.
221
00:10:50,774 --> 00:10:53,652
Ricky, what are you-you can't
have a piss out here. Inside.
222
00:10:53,693 --> 00:10:54,945
Bubbles:
There's toilets in here.
223
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:56,404
Julian:
Fucking nightmare.
224
00:11:07,373 --> 00:11:09,459
Ah Jesus, you're gonna have to
put a shirt on.
225
00:11:09,501 --> 00:11:13,254
I'm sorry I don't wear shirts.
I'm allergic to fabric. I got
a doctor's note.
226
00:11:13,296 --> 00:11:14,255
Passports.
227
00:11:14,297 --> 00:11:17,009
Here you go, sir.
228
00:11:17,050 --> 00:11:21,888
Here you go, sir.
229
00:11:22,388 --> 00:11:25,433
Ricky! Ricky!
230
00:11:25,475 --> 00:11:26,768
Sorry
231
00:11:26,810 --> 00:11:28,770
My god. I'm sorry about that.
He's very clumsy.
232
00:11:28,812 --> 00:11:33,150
I recognize you lads. You're uh
off that TV show from Canada.
233
00:11:33,190 --> 00:11:34,567
Julian:
Yeah. How's it going, man?
234
00:11:34,609 --> 00:11:37,278
Look at you even pretending to
drink that mixed drink.
235
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,114
Yeah.
236
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,116
What the fuck yous
doing in Ireland?
237
00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:44,786
We won a contest for Rush's
biggest fan. You know Rush,
the rock band?
238
00:11:44,828 --> 00:11:48,123
They flew us over on a private
jet. We're going to see them
at the O2 in Dublin.
239
00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:54,046
Oh very cool. Well lads, have a
great time at the concert.
240
00:11:54,087 --> 00:11:56,464
Bubbles:
Thank you. Thank very much.
241
00:11:56,506 --> 00:11:57,674
Thanks
242
00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:59,718
Right on man. Fucking loving
Ironland so far.
243
00:11:59,759 --> 00:12:04,056
Hey Ricky ah don't have any of
that ah weed on ya then, do ya?
244
00:12:04,097 --> 00:12:08,476
Yeah, man. You want some? Boys.
Get the green bag over here.
245
00:12:08,518 --> 00:12:11,396
I got a couple kinds of hash and
some honey oil and weed. What
are you looking for, bud?
246
00:12:11,437 --> 00:12:13,857
You're not serious, are ya?
247
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:18,319
What? What do you like? What?
248
00:12:18,361 --> 00:12:20,155
Lads, get the fuck back here.
249
00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:22,365
It's a private jet. It's
private. Is there a place I can
250
00:12:22,407 --> 00:12:24,534
Can I take a piss?
251
00:12:24,576 --> 00:12:29,915
I want the president of
Canada on the phone. This is
fucking bullshit!
252
00:12:29,956 --> 00:12:33,334
You screaming orders at me is
bullshit. You need to calm the
fuck down
253
00:12:33,376 --> 00:12:35,294
and you're gonna have to wait.
254
00:12:35,336 --> 00:12:39,007
We didn't even fucking do
anything wrong. We were on a
private fucking jet!
255
00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:42,052
How the fuck do you people not
know what the word private means
over here?
256
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:46,431
In Canada it means to your
fucking self. You can't just
have people come to your country
257
00:12:46,472 --> 00:12:49,601
that think the word private
mans private and then you
just fucking un-private it.
258
00:12:49,642 --> 00:12:50,894
That is fucked my man.
259
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,478
Customs Officer:
Calm the fuck down.
260
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,564
There's nothing I can do until
I hear from the judge anyway.
261
00:12:54,606 --> 00:12:59,569
We were in, we were in frontrow
seats to rock. It'll never
happen again. It's gone.
262
00:12:59,611 --> 00:13:02,114
Get your fucking hands off me.
263
00:13:02,155 --> 00:13:06,868
Look I'm sorry but I thought the
word private would mean the same
in Ire-lish as it
264
00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:10,122
does in English. It doesn't,
it's not my fucking fault.
265
00:13:10,163 --> 00:13:12,289
It does.
266
00:13:12,331 --> 00:13:16,044
Look I'll take care of it. All
right fuck brains. I want to
speak to a lawyer 'cuz my
267
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:19,881
rights have been violated
through the constitute of Canada
under the privacy to
268
00:13:19,923 --> 00:13:26,221
keep things fucking privacy act
of 14-13-60. I want a fucking
phone call and I want it
269
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:27,722
right the fuck now!
270
00:13:27,764 --> 00:13:29,306
Randy:
You're so friggin' stupid!
271
00:13:29,348 --> 00:13:31,268
I dare you to fucking call me
stupid one more time. Go ahead!
272
00:13:31,308 --> 00:13:32,560
Stupid!
273
00:13:32,602 --> 00:13:34,146
You fucking asshole!
274
00:13:34,187 --> 00:13:36,231
Customs Officer:
Jesus fuckin' christ
I can't take this shit.
275
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:39,067
Bubbles:
Lift him, Randy. Lift him.
276
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:43,071
Hello Judge Orr, yeah. Is there
any way you can see these
Canadian guys any sooner?
277
00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:44,447
It's fucking driving me crazy.
278
00:13:44,489 --> 00:13:47,408
Randy:
Frig off!
279
00:13:47,450 --> 00:13:50,954
Bailiff:
Please rise.
280
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:01,714
Judge:
Please be seated.
281
00:14:01,756 --> 00:14:04,425
Holy fuck. Stand up, sit down.
Just make up your fucking minds.
282
00:14:04,467 --> 00:14:05,426
Ricky!
283
00:14:05,468 --> 00:14:07,137
Pardon me, son. What was that?
284
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:10,431
Ricky: Nothing. I was uh
talking to this guy here
picking his nose.
285
00:14:10,473 --> 00:14:13,935
Actually do you have a light on
ya bud? No? Of course you don't.
286
00:14:13,977 --> 00:14:18,606
You're really not very
smart son, are you?
287
00:14:18,648 --> 00:14:23,111
No, your honour, he's not.
Please forgive him. I've known
him my whole life.
288
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:25,155
It's true, your honour.
He's really stupid.
289
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:27,949
Randy, you shut the fuck up
you oily, hairy bitch!
290
00:14:27,991 --> 00:14:28,491
Ricky!
291
00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:29,784
You are stupid.
292
00:14:29,826 --> 00:14:30,160
I fucking dare you to say
another word to me.
293
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:30,952
Stupid!
294
00:14:30,994 --> 00:14:32,453
Don't fuck around, Randy.
295
00:14:32,495 --> 00:14:33,621
Ricky!
296
00:14:33,663 --> 00:14:35,623
Watch your fucking language in
my court.
297
00:14:35,665 --> 00:14:37,125
He started it.
298
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:41,629
Let's see here. Possession and
importation of marijuana,
299
00:14:41,671 --> 00:14:46,634
hashish and hashish oil
into this beautiful country
of Ireland.
300
00:14:46,676 --> 00:14:51,181
Guys, did you honestly fucking
believe you were going to
stroll through Ireland
301
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:52,849
with all these drugs on ya?
302
00:14:52,891 --> 00:14:55,352
Yeah, kind of. I mean we were
on a private fucking jet,
303
00:14:55,393 --> 00:14:57,145
and I thought that meant
what it's supposed to.
304
00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:58,813
Everything we have with us is
supposed to be private.
305
00:14:58,855 --> 00:15:00,815
Not over here in Iron-land for
some fucking reason.
306
00:15:00,857 --> 00:15:03,235
Think of how stupid you are,
Ricky!
307
00:15:03,276 --> 00:15:04,527
I swear to fuck!
308
00:15:04,569 --> 00:15:05,570
Ricky.
309
00:15:05,611 --> 00:15:06,404
Oh yeah? Bring it on.
Bring it on.
310
00:15:06,445 --> 00:15:07,072
Ricky!
311
00:15:07,113 --> 00:15:08,406
Bubble:
Boys!
312
00:15:08,447 --> 00:15:10,700
Judge: Order, order jesus
fuckin' christ order!
313
00:15:10,742 --> 00:15:11,743
Julian:
Sit down.
314
00:15:11,784 --> 00:15:13,661
Bubbles:
Ricky.
315
00:15:13,703 --> 00:15:15,872
Hey! Sit down you fucking
idiots. Sit down.
316
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:18,833
Have some respect for my court
you gobshites.
317
00:15:18,875 --> 00:15:23,922
Oh my god. I'm sorry,
your honour. Sorry. Just
so we're clear here,
318
00:15:23,963 --> 00:15:25,882
I didn't even know Ricky had
drugs with him.
319
00:15:25,924 --> 00:15:28,009
Where'd you think the drugs
came from we were smoking on
the plane?
320
00:15:28,051 --> 00:15:34,015
Ricky! Look, I won a contest to
go see Rush play at the 02
321
00:15:34,057 --> 00:15:36,517
and that's what we were supposed
to be doing, not this craziness.
322
00:15:36,559 --> 00:15:40,521
I was there. What a great
fucking concert.
323
00:15:40,563 --> 00:15:46,778
Oh no shit. Look, this was
supposed to be the greatest trip
of our lives and it got all
324
00:15:46,819 --> 00:15:50,615
mixed up with the drugs and
this wasn't supposed to happen
like this.
325
00:15:50,656 --> 00:15:53,118
I'm very sorry about all
this, your honour.
326
00:15:53,159 --> 00:15:58,539
Look fellas, you seem like an
all right bunch but you tried to
bring drugs into Ireland,
327
00:15:58,581 --> 00:16:03,086
presumably to sell and I can't
have that. Do you understand?
328
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:05,255
It wasn't to sell.
329
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:08,549
I mean, there are plenty of
drugs right here in Ireland. You
could have bought 'em here
330
00:16:08,591 --> 00:16:11,386
and you'd have helped our
economy.
331
00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:13,888
Well if I had fucking known, I
would have. I would have loved
to buy some drugs locally.
332
00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:16,808
All I brought with me is
personal anyway but I didn't
know if you guys had
333
00:16:16,849 --> 00:16:20,312
good drugs over here or if it
was easy to get hash or I mean
no one has oil these days.
334
00:16:20,353 --> 00:16:26,067
I-I understand that but
you did what you did.
It's mandatory jail term.
335
00:16:26,109 --> 00:16:31,406
Oh my god, your honour. Please.
Please do not put us in jail.
We'll do anything.
336
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:33,532
Please sir.
337
00:16:33,574 --> 00:16:37,787
I'll tell ya what. I know who
you guys are and you're popular
here in this country.
338
00:16:37,829 --> 00:16:39,956
Ricky: Fuck off. Are
you serious?
339
00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:46,421
If you guys would put on a
benefit concert in the local
theater telling people how bad
340
00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:52,593
drugs and liquor are and I'll
consider that as community
service and we'll waive all
341
00:16:52,635 --> 00:16:54,804
the charges against you.
342
00:16:54,846 --> 00:16:56,681
We'll do it! We'll do it.
343
00:16:56,722 --> 00:16:58,683
What? With the fuck are you
talking-are you being serious
right now?
344
00:16:58,724 --> 00:17:00,435
Bubs, we don't know how to do a
live show.
345
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:01,602
Just
346
00:17:01,644 --> 00:17:04,314
It's either that or Portlaoise.
347
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:05,815
Fuck!
348
00:17:05,857 --> 00:17:07,900
Puppets?
349
00:17:07,942 --> 00:17:11,654
No, no, your honour. We can do a
live show. We can do that. I
mean I get nervous in
350
00:17:11,696 --> 00:17:14,282
front of crowds but I know how
we could do it. We could do a
puppet show.
351
00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:17,118
I could build some puppets.
We could say drugs and liquor
are bad.
352
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,620
I could get up and sing some
songs maybe. We can do this.
353
00:17:19,662 --> 00:17:23,041
Judge: Look, I'm fine with a
puppet show
354
00:17:23,082 --> 00:17:27,462
but I don't want you out there
singing that song about
whores and liquor.
355
00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:32,384
Okay no problem. I don't have
to do that but boys, we can
do this.
356
00:17:32,425 --> 00:17:34,802
Consider it done, your honour.
Boys, we're doing a puppet show.
357
00:17:34,844 --> 00:17:37,555
For fuck sakes.
358
00:17:50,193 --> 00:17:51,486
Julian:
These puppets are fucked!
359
00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:53,696
Bubbles: I think they look
pretty fucking awesome.
360
00:17:53,738 --> 00:17:57,158
Ricky: Well I don't know how to
make fucking puppets talk and
what the fuck is this
361
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,743
antennae thing you taped to
my face?
362
00:17:58,784 --> 00:18:02,539
Bubbles: It's a microphone Ricky
and it's probably on so just,
363
00:18:02,580 --> 00:18:06,876
I guess this is the curtain
here. Okay. Are you guys ready?
364
00:18:06,918 --> 00:18:08,211
We gotta fucking do this.
Take this serious.
365
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:09,587
Ricky:
Just a sec.
366
00:18:09,628 --> 00:18:10,422
Bubbles:
Ricky!
367
00:18:10,463 --> 00:18:11,797
Ricky:
Oh fuck.
368
00:18:11,839 --> 00:18:14,050
What the fuck are you doing?
Are you taking a piss?
369
00:18:14,092 --> 00:18:16,344
Ricky: Yes. Randy was hogging
the fucking bathroom. I
gotta piss.
370
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,221
Bubbles: He's pissing right
fucking now.
371
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,598
We're about to do a goddamn
puppet show for the judge.
372
00:18:20,639 --> 00:18:22,892
Squeeze it out, Rick.
373
00:18:22,934 --> 00:18:24,685
Bubbles:
Ricky! Oh god.
374
00:18:24,727 --> 00:18:25,853
You guys want to use that?
375
00:18:25,895 --> 00:18:26,896
Julian:
No!
376
00:18:26,938 --> 00:18:28,022
No! Get it the fuck - put it
over.
377
00:18:28,064 --> 00:18:31,568
Crowd:
Ugh
378
00:18:31,609 --> 00:18:32,610
Ricky!
379
00:18:32,651 --> 00:18:33,652
Julian:
Are you fucking kidding me?
380
00:18:33,694 --> 00:18:35,196
I got piss droplets on
my glasses.
381
00:18:35,238 --> 00:18:37,865
Ricky: It's a little bit of
piss. Sorry. Holy fuck boys.
382
00:18:37,907 --> 00:18:42,870
Fuck! Boys, remember drugs and
liquor are bad.
383
00:18:42,912 --> 00:18:45,039
Drugs and liquor are fucking
awesome but anyway.
384
00:18:45,081 --> 00:18:52,589
Here we go. I'll start.
385
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:01,264
Hey.
How's everybody doing tonight?
386
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:08,062
That's it. My name's Bobby
Turkalino and I'm here
387
00:19:08,104 --> 00:19:11,941
tonight to talk to you about the
dangers of using drugs and
alcohol.
388
00:19:11,983 --> 00:19:14,777
Is there anybody here currently
under the influence of drugs
or liquor?
389
00:19:15,987 --> 00:19:18,739
Crowd:
Yeah!
390
00:19:18,781 --> 00:19:24,579
Bubbles: What? Holy fuck
boys! Everybody here is drunk
and on drugs.
391
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:27,290
No shit 'cuz people love dope
and liquor. I love fucking dope
and liquor.
392
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:28,707
This is fucking stupid.
393
00:19:28,749 --> 00:19:30,627
Well the judge said we're doing
it and we're doing it.
394
00:19:30,668 --> 00:19:32,086
Now get your fucking
guy up there.
395
00:19:32,128 --> 00:19:32,920
Ricky:
For fuck sakes!
396
00:19:32,962 --> 00:19:35,340
Don't fuck this up.
397
00:19:35,381 --> 00:19:39,135
Yeah.
So I'm here tonight with a couple of friends,
398
00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:42,096
Ralphie Johnson and Dougie
Muscle Neck. Say hi fellas.
399
00:19:42,138 --> 00:19:43,264
Julian:
Hey.
400
00:19:43,306 --> 00:19:44,474
Ricky: Hey. Which fucking guy am
I again?
401
00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:50,104
You're Ralphie Johnson, Ricky.
And you gotta fucking move his
mouth with yours.
402
00:19:50,146 --> 00:19:50,855
Like this!
403
00:19:50,896 --> 00:19:52,773
Ricky:
Ah
404
00:19:52,815 --> 00:19:54,150
Whenever
you talk you gotta do this with
your hand.
405
00:19:54,192 --> 00:19:58,946
Ricky: My name is
Ralphie Johnson. There
we go.
406
00:19:58,988 --> 00:20:03,868
Ricky, you gotta synch it up. It
looks like a fucking python
trying to swallow an egg.
407
00:20:03,909 --> 00:20:08,039
Anyway,
we're here tonight to talk about
how bad your lives
408
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:12,460
can get fucked up when you get
into drugs and alcohol. Isn't
that right, Ralphie?
409
00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:15,838
How about the fact that
last night I was supposed to be
at the fucking Rush concert
410
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:19,634
here in Ireland but Ralphie
here thought it would be a
fucking really cute idea
411
00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:24,055
to try to smuggle drugs
into the country and we got
caught at the fucking
412
00:20:24,096 --> 00:20:27,183
border and busted and we missed
the fucking Rush concert!
413
00:20:27,225 --> 00:20:30,186
I told you I'm sorry. It was a
fucking accident and why in
the fuck
414
00:20:30,228 --> 00:20:31,688
does the word private not
private over here?
415
00:20:31,729 --> 00:20:33,439
If you're on a fucking private
jet they're not supposed
416
00:20:33,481 --> 00:20:36,025
to be able to check all your
bags and find all your fucking
drugs
417
00:20:36,067 --> 00:20:38,486
and now is my fucking mouth
moving good now?
418
00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:39,654
It's a fuck up, all right?
419
00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:41,489
Put your fucking guy up.
420
00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:43,533
Oh and what
about you, Dougie?
421
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:47,078
You thought it'd be a good
idea to fucking guzzle booze
all across the Atlantic?
422
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:51,165
That was really fucking helpful
when we got to immigration.
Thanks for all the help.
423
00:20:51,207 --> 00:20:53,042
Julian:
Listen, I had a few drinks.
424
00:20:53,084 --> 00:20:55,878
I can't control how much
fucking drugs and alcohol
Ralphie does over there.
425
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,381
Fuck you, Julian. You mixed the
drinks and I was rolling the
joints.
426
00:20:58,423 --> 00:20:59,173
Fuck you, Ricky.
427
00:20:59,215 --> 00:21:01,384
Fuck me? Okay.
428
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:06,347
Let's just
agree, shall we, it's safe to
say that drugs and liquor
429
00:21:06,389 --> 00:21:10,851
ruined what could have been
probably the greatest trip of my
fucking life,
430
00:21:10,893 --> 00:21:13,521
of your life, the greatest night
of all of our lives
431
00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:16,774
and it got fucking ruined
because of drugs and liquor!
432
00:21:16,815 --> 00:21:20,194
Bubbles, calm down, man. You
need to have a drink or a
fucking toke. That'll help ya.
433
00:21:20,236 --> 00:21:21,446
Oh
is that how it works?
434
00:21:21,487 --> 00:21:23,531
I just fucking drugs and
liquor solve everything.
435
00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:25,617
Ricky:
Pretty much.
436
00:21:25,658 --> 00:21:28,411
So just
fucking take a drink and all
your problems go away?
437
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:31,539
Here, give me a fucking
drink of that booze. Gulp.
Gulp. Gulp. Gulp.
438
00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:32,915
Julian: Bubs
439
00:21:32,957 --> 00:21:35,293
Oh yeah
fuck now I'm drunk now
440
00:21:35,334 --> 00:21:38,463
and now all my problems are
solved except I want to fucking
fight. You fucking want to go?
441
00:21:38,504 --> 00:21:39,797
Julian: What the fuck?
What are you doing?
442
00:21:39,838 --> 00:21:41,882
You want to
fucking go?
443
00:21:41,924 --> 00:21:45,720
I'm all fucking jacked up on
booze so give me a fucking drag
off that joint.
444
00:21:45,762 --> 00:21:51,768
Okay. Now I'm fucking high,
baby. Now I'm fucking high.
445
00:21:51,809 --> 00:21:54,270
That's a gateway drug, though.
I need something stronger.
446
00:21:54,312 --> 00:21:56,773
Why doesn't someone pack
some bath salts in the eye
of my cock?
447
00:21:56,855 --> 00:21:59,984
Julian: Bath salts? Bubs, fuck
this. I'm not playing with
puppets anymore.
448
00:22:00,025 --> 00:22:02,945
I fucking hate puppets.
Kermit the Frog can fuck off.
449
00:22:02,987 --> 00:22:06,324
Miss Piggy can suck it and
Grover can eat my ass, man. I'm
not doing this.
450
00:22:06,365 --> 00:22:08,576
What the fuck did you
just say?
451
00:22:08,618 --> 00:22:10,286
What would you bring up Grover
right now and make me think
about him, you fucking asshole?
452
00:22:10,328 --> 00:22:12,497
Thanks.
453
00:22:12,538 --> 00:22:14,332
I'm talking about Grover from
Sesame Street, not the mechanic
that's been banging Lucy.
454
00:22:14,373 --> 00:22:17,335
With the
ginormous cock.
455
00:22:17,376 --> 00:22:21,464
Don't talk about his big cock
and don't be bringing up fucking
Grover, you assholes.
456
00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:24,801
Oh laugh about it?
Guess what? Fuck this. Fuck you
guys. I'll see you back in jail.
457
00:22:24,842 --> 00:22:26,260
Bubbles:
Ricky. Ricky.
458
00:22:26,302 --> 00:22:27,136
Julian:
No, no, no, no, no. Rick.
459
00:22:27,178 --> 00:22:28,137
Bubbles:
Get back here!
460
00:22:28,179 --> 00:22:29,096
Julian:
Get-Ricky!
461
00:22:29,138 --> 00:22:29,681
Bubbles:
Julian!
462
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:36,103
Ricky:
Holy fuck!
463
00:22:37,814 --> 00:22:39,023
Ricky:
Bubbles!
464
00:22:39,064 --> 00:22:41,192
What?
465
00:22:41,233 --> 00:22:43,944
You said fifty people, man.
There's like, there's at least
a hundred and fifty here.
466
00:22:43,986 --> 00:22:46,447
Julian: There's a lot more than
a hundred and fifty, Bubs.
467
00:22:46,489 --> 00:22:49,617
I was fucking told fifty
to seventy-five high
school students.
468
00:22:49,659 --> 00:22:53,371
Well there's at least a hundred
and fifty here. This is fucked.
469
00:22:53,412 --> 00:22:56,624
Thanks for bringing that
up in front of everyone.
You know what?
470
00:22:56,666 --> 00:22:58,626
You're an asshole. Fuck you.
I'm done.
471
00:22:58,668 --> 00:23:00,127
I'd rather go to jail than do
this bullshit.
472
00:23:00,169 --> 00:23:02,046
No, no listen if I gotta do this
you've gotta do it.
473
00:23:02,087 --> 00:23:05,383
No, I don't. I can go to jail
right now and that's fucking
better with me.
474
00:23:05,424 --> 00:23:07,510
Oh really?
475
00:23:07,552 --> 00:23:10,221
You can get drunk and high.
Sorry Bubs. He fucked things
up by bringing up Grover.
476
00:23:10,262 --> 00:23:11,263
Bubbles:
Ricky!
477
00:23:11,305 --> 00:23:12,264
Ricky:
I'm out of here. Fuck this.
478
00:23:12,306 --> 00:23:12,973
Bubbles:
Get the fuck back here!
479
00:23:13,015 --> 00:23:14,433
Ricky:
Sorry Bubs.
480
00:23:14,475 --> 00:23:16,310
Julian: I was talking about
the Sesame Street Grover.
481
00:23:16,352 --> 00:23:17,812
Julian, get the fuck back here.
482
00:23:17,854 --> 00:23:19,647
Julian: I'm not playing
with puppets. Fuck puppets.
483
00:23:19,689 --> 00:23:21,816
Bubbles:
Julian.
484
00:23:21,858 --> 00:23:23,067
Julian:
Bubs, get out here.
485
00:23:23,108 --> 00:23:24,610
Bubbles:
And do what?
486
00:23:24,652 --> 00:23:27,321
Would you get out? I don't care.
Get out here. Get out here.
487
00:23:27,363 --> 00:23:30,074
I'm too nervous. Oh my god.
I can't do this in front of
people.
488
00:23:30,115 --> 00:23:32,869
Julian:
Oh really?
489
00:23:32,909 --> 00:23:34,829
Bubbles:
I get too nervous.
490
00:23:34,871 --> 00:23:37,081
Julian:
Would you get out here?
491
00:23:39,916 --> 00:23:48,008
Right out front Bubs.
Fifty, sixty students?
492
00:23:48,050 --> 00:23:53,514
Jesus Murphy! Yeah
that's a fucking
493
00:23:53,556 --> 00:23:55,600
there's about two thousand
fucking people there.
494
00:23:55,641 --> 00:23:58,060
Yeah no shit. And we're playing
with puppets.
495
00:23:58,102 --> 00:23:59,395
Oh my god.
496
00:23:59,437 --> 00:24:01,564
Bubs, what are you?
Stop grabbing at yourself!
497
00:24:01,606 --> 00:24:06,611
Ah Julian I get fucking nervous.
When I get nervous my bird
starts doing that.
498
00:24:06,652 --> 00:24:09,572
Just stop.
499
00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:11,365
I can't. It's not in the
right position.
500
00:24:11,407 --> 00:24:13,868
It's trying to do that and it's
gonna get a kink into it.
501
00:24:13,910 --> 00:24:15,035
A kink into it.
502
00:24:15,077 --> 00:24:17,037
I gotta get it-I gotta get it
arranged.
503
00:24:17,079 --> 00:24:22,877
Bubs, are you done?
504
00:24:22,919 --> 00:24:25,379
Yeah. Are you
done trying to grab it?
505
00:24:25,421 --> 00:24:28,965
I wasn't trying to
grab it. I'm trying to help
you out here.
506
00:24:29,007 --> 00:24:33,888
Anyway, listen. I'm gonna go
chill Ricky the fuck out. You
entertain these people, okay?
507
00:24:33,930 --> 00:24:35,306
What?
508
00:24:35,347 --> 00:24:37,057
I'm not doing this without Rick,
man I'm telling ya.
509
00:24:37,099 --> 00:24:38,058
Don't leave.
510
00:24:38,100 --> 00:24:39,101
Just entertain them.
511
00:24:39,143 --> 00:24:40,144
How?
512
00:24:40,185 --> 00:24:41,228
Tell them some
jokes or something.
513
00:24:41,270 --> 00:24:44,607
Jokes, I don't know any
fucking jokes.
514
00:24:44,649 --> 00:24:46,317
Well make something up.
515
00:24:46,358 --> 00:24:52,907
I was planning on doing two
hours of puppets. Ah hey.
516
00:24:57,620 --> 00:24:59,163
Man: Liquor and whores!
517
00:24:59,204 --> 00:25:01,415
What's going on there, Dublin,
Ireland? How are you guys doing?
518
00:25:04,293 --> 00:25:08,756
I wasn't expecting to do this.
I'm pretty fucking nervous.
Look at me trembling like
519
00:25:08,798 --> 00:25:15,972
some kind of a, like a trembly
thing. Just trembling. I don't
really know any jokes.
520
00:25:16,012 --> 00:25:20,016
I used to know a couple when I
was a little guy if I can think
of 'em.
521
00:25:20,058 --> 00:25:26,607
Um how uh oh I know one.
How-how do you catch a
unique kitty?
522
00:25:26,649 --> 00:25:27,859
U-nique up on him.
523
00:25:31,570 --> 00:25:38,786
No? No eh? Oh fuck boys,
get out here would ya?
524
00:25:38,828 --> 00:25:43,039
Actually there's part two to
that joke. How do you catch a
tame kitty?
525
00:25:43,081 --> 00:25:45,292
Male Audience Member: Tame way.
526
00:25:45,334 --> 00:25:50,965
Yeah, tame way. U-nque up on
'em. Ah fuck. Thanks for yelling
it out there though, dick weed.
527
00:25:51,007 --> 00:25:57,221
Fuck. I appreciate that seeing
how I only got two fucking jokes
in my repertoire
528
00:25:57,262 --> 00:26:03,185
and you fucking ruined one of
them. Stupid bastard.
529
00:26:03,227 --> 00:26:08,232
All right there smart nuts. I'll
give you a fucking joke you
can't know the answer to.
530
00:26:08,273 --> 00:26:10,860
How do you catch a tame, unique
kitty if you got your
531
00:26:10,902 --> 00:26:16,323
fucking fingers all cramped up
in a fucking gardening accident?
532
00:26:16,365 --> 00:26:20,536
What's that? I don't hear you
shooting your fucking lips
off now.
533
00:26:20,578 --> 00:26:28,836
Arsehole. Just 'cuz I don't know
the fucking answer doesn't mean
it's not a real joke.
534
00:26:28,878 --> 00:26:35,676
Boys, would you get the fuck out
here please? Those piss jugs.
Holy fuck. Can I-
535
00:26:35,718 --> 00:26:37,678
there's a guitar. Can I borrow
this?
536
00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:45,853
Whoever owns this. I don't know
who owns this but I'm borrowing
the fucking thing.
537
00:26:45,895 --> 00:26:54,278
Hahaha. This is about uh
Gary the fucking mall
manager back home.
538
00:26:54,319 --> 00:26:59,867
'Cuz I haul shopping carts out
of ponds and lakes and down over
banks for a living
539
00:26:59,909 --> 00:27:04,038
and I shine 'em up and redo the
bearings, sell them back to
grocery stores and
540
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:13,089
Gary's always fucking there
causing trouble so this is a
song about him. Hahaha!
541
00:27:13,129 --> 00:27:20,096
This is a song called, "The
Fucking Carts Are Mine".
542
00:27:33,943 --> 00:27:38,739
♪ I fix the handles, I fix the
seats. ♪
543
00:27:38,781 --> 00:27:47,498
♪ I fix the wheels so they will
roll straight down the street.♪
544
00:27:47,539 --> 00:28:00,511
♪ I weld supports and fix the
frames. I even take the time to
fix the ones hit by trains. ♪
545
00:28:00,552 --> 00:28:10,562
♪ If I put in all that time
those fucking carts are mine.
If I put in all that time, ♪
546
00:28:10,604 --> 00:28:18,278
♪ If I put in all that time
those fucking carts are mine.
If I put in all that time, ♪
547
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:29,832
♪ those fucking carts are mine.
Do a little like a Johnny Cash
solo here that I wrote. ♪
548
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:46,640
Holy fuck. How does it go? Holy
fuck! I train wrecked. I fucking
train wrecked.
549
00:28:46,682 --> 00:28:52,396
Oh my god boys, would you get
the flying fuck out here please?
I can't take this.
550
00:28:52,437 --> 00:28:58,527
I just train wrecked and
I'm in a fucking meltdown.
Hahaha! Boys!
551
00:28:58,569 --> 00:29:00,487
Julian: All right Bubs. I had
a good little talk with Ricky.
552
00:29:00,529 --> 00:29:02,031
He's not gonna be a dick for
the rest of the night.
553
00:29:05,201 --> 00:29:07,161
He's gonna apologize to you.
Rick?
554
00:29:07,203 --> 00:29:13,000
Well I'm sorry that he was a
fucking asshole and kind of
pissed me off.
555
00:29:13,042 --> 00:29:15,377
I'm also pissed off 'cuz I
can't get drunk and high
556
00:29:15,419 --> 00:29:18,923
even though I may or may not
have snuck a few things but..
557
00:29:18,964 --> 00:29:23,052
Well you know what, Ricky?
It's fine. Let's just forget
about it, all right?
558
00:29:23,094 --> 00:29:26,513
I just, I remembered I left the
fucking iron on back there. I
was ironing my shirt.
559
00:29:26,555 --> 00:29:29,100
What the fuck is going on
down there?
560
00:29:29,141 --> 00:29:32,019
Bubbles: Nothing, Ricky.
Just um just leave it alone.
561
00:29:32,061 --> 00:29:33,854
What is that?
562
00:29:33,896 --> 00:29:36,107
Nothing. Leave it alone.
563
00:29:36,148 --> 00:29:39,443
Did somebody squirt a squirt gun
at you or-?
564
00:29:39,484 --> 00:29:41,445
Ricky, fuck off!
565
00:29:41,486 --> 00:29:44,448
Oh my god. That's not what I
think it is.
566
00:29:44,489 --> 00:29:45,741
Bubbles:
Ricky!
567
00:29:45,783 --> 00:29:51,747
It is what I think it is.
You pissed yourself!
568
00:29:51,789 --> 00:29:54,291
I did not piss myself.
569
00:29:54,332 --> 00:29:59,880
Bubbles, I know what piss tastes
like. You pissed yourself.
That's fucked.
570
00:29:59,922 --> 00:30:03,801
Ricky, I had a-fucking I had
a juice pack in my pocket.
My bird was doing that.
571
00:30:03,842 --> 00:30:07,221
It must have fucking jabbed
into the thing and burst it.
That's all.
572
00:30:07,263 --> 00:30:10,099
So they make juice packs now in
piss flavour?
573
00:30:10,141 --> 00:30:11,809
All right Ricky, that's enough.
574
00:30:11,850 --> 00:30:14,770
Right. How could you piss
yourself in front of all
these people?
575
00:30:14,812 --> 00:30:15,938
I didn't.
576
00:30:15,980 --> 00:30:17,731
Ricky, would you
just smarten the fuck up?
577
00:30:17,773 --> 00:30:18,816
What?
578
00:30:18,857 --> 00:30:21,777
What do you mean what?
Just end it.
579
00:30:21,819 --> 00:30:23,737
Well there's a piss jug right
there. Why didn't you use that?
580
00:30:23,779 --> 00:30:28,075
Bubbles: I didn't piss myself
Ricky, you fucking asshole.
581
00:30:28,117 --> 00:30:30,744
Holy fuck Bubs. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to give you
an embarrassing.
582
00:30:30,786 --> 00:30:32,412
I'll piss myself right now if it
makes you feel better.
583
00:30:32,454 --> 00:30:35,415
Ricky you're not gonna piss
yourself. Fuck off.
584
00:30:35,457 --> 00:30:37,334
Just a second. I can't
585
00:30:37,375 --> 00:30:40,254
Is that how you piss, Ricky?
Like an old fucking gorilla out
in the woods?
586
00:30:40,296 --> 00:30:44,341
I'm trying to force it out. I
already pissed in the piss jug
like you should have did.
587
00:30:44,382 --> 00:30:50,347
I should fucking honky-tonk band
you. Arsehole. You know what
Ricky?
588
00:30:50,388 --> 00:30:54,185
I could have got away with it. I
could have just walked away
until you start dabbing me
589
00:30:54,226 --> 00:30:58,605
like I'm a fucking old gas
tank with sugar in it.
You, you see that Ricky?
590
00:30:58,647 --> 00:30:59,982
Ricky:
Yeah I see it.
591
00:31:00,024 --> 00:31:03,152
You see that? You can drive that
right in your arse.
592
00:31:03,194 --> 00:31:05,321
Bubs. Bubs, it's not a
big deal.
593
00:31:05,362 --> 00:31:10,701
No, no. I am taking my fucking
microphone taking my fucking
guitar and I'm going home.
594
00:31:10,742 --> 00:31:13,662
How many people out there have
pissed themselves before?
>Bubbles: Assholes!
595
00:31:13,704 --> 00:31:14,746
Yeah!
596
00:31:14,788 --> 00:31:17,666
Ricky:
Exactly. It's not a big deal.
597
00:31:17,708 --> 00:31:18,667
Nice going, Rick.
598
00:31:18,709 --> 00:31:19,793
Ricky:
What?
599
00:31:19,835 --> 00:31:20,836
What do you mean, what?
600
00:31:20,878 --> 00:31:22,880
What the fuck did I do?
601
00:31:22,921 --> 00:31:25,341
You just fucking embarrassed
Bubbles in front of all these
people, you idiot.
602
00:31:25,382 --> 00:31:29,053
He embarrassed hisself.
He pissed hisself.
603
00:31:29,094 --> 00:31:32,181
Ricky, you're a goddamn
fucking nightmare.
604
00:31:32,223 --> 00:31:34,641
Why?
>Why?
>Yeah.
605
00:31:34,683 --> 00:31:36,018
Okay. Where are we right now?
606
00:31:36,060 --> 00:31:37,311
I know where we are.
607
00:31:37,353 --> 00:31:39,313
Where?
608
00:31:39,355 --> 00:31:41,648
I read the sign. It's
a fucking cool place.
609
00:31:41,690 --> 00:31:44,193
Julian: What's
the name of it?
610
00:31:44,235 --> 00:31:46,153
Doobie-lin.
>Doobie-lin.
611
00:31:46,195 --> 00:31:49,573
Which is cool 'cuz it's got like
a doobie in the name.
612
00:31:49,614 --> 00:31:53,827
You know what? I got work to do
right now, okay? So just try not
to be a fucking dick.
613
00:31:53,869 --> 00:31:56,247
No, no. Bubbles is gone. Let's,
we're done. Let's fucking leave.
Fuck this.
614
00:31:56,288 --> 00:31:59,333
No, no, no, no, no. We're not
leaving. Rick...
615
00:31:59,375 --> 00:32:01,752
I'd rather go to jail than
do this shit. This is
fucking stupid.
616
00:32:01,793 --> 00:32:05,005
Well we're not going to jail.
These people paid money to come
see this tonight
617
00:32:05,047 --> 00:32:07,007
>Why?
>for some unknown fucking
reason.
618
00:32:07,049 --> 00:32:08,550
Julian:
I don't know.
619
00:32:08,592 --> 00:32:10,427
Ricky: Why would anybody pay
money to see this stupid shit?
620
00:32:10,468 --> 00:32:14,098
Listen. I've got some
work to do. Randy, get the fuck
out here.
621
00:32:14,139 --> 00:32:15,266
Oh my fuck!
622
00:32:17,226 --> 00:32:18,185
Julian:
What?
623
00:32:18,227 --> 00:32:19,519
Do not fucking bring him
out here!
624
00:32:19,561 --> 00:32:21,272
He's here for a reason.
625
00:32:21,313 --> 00:32:22,398
He fucking stinks.
626
00:32:24,358 --> 00:32:27,611
Randy: Julian, this thing's
making me real itchy. I don't
like this...
627
00:32:28,570 --> 00:32:33,951
Holy shit! Hi everybody.
Wow.
628
00:32:33,992 --> 00:32:39,039
What in the fuck are you doing?
629
00:32:39,081 --> 00:32:42,376
This thing's fucked, Julian.
Look. It's-it's hitting me
right in my nipples.
630
00:32:42,418 --> 00:32:44,211
What is this?
631
00:32:44,253 --> 00:32:45,796
He's selling cheeseburgers
for me.
632
00:32:45,837 --> 00:32:48,382
You can't fucking sell
cheeseburgers, Julian.
633
00:32:48,424 --> 00:32:49,883
No, I'm not doing it.
He's doing it.
634
00:32:49,925 --> 00:32:51,385
We'll get in trouble with
the parole dicks.
635
00:32:51,427 --> 00:32:52,970
I found a loophole. He sells
them, it's his business.
636
00:32:53,011 --> 00:32:56,723
I take care of
the money.
>You're fucking greasy.
637
00:32:56,765 --> 00:33:01,895
I'm not fucking greasy.
Okay my fine Irish friends.
638
00:33:01,937 --> 00:33:06,775
This is a Julian burger, the
best fucking cheeseburger
you'll ever eat,
639
00:33:06,817 --> 00:33:07,484
especially if you're
drunk and high.
640
00:33:07,525 --> 00:33:09,403
I'm calling bullshit.
641
00:33:09,445 --> 00:33:12,072
They're five bucks, whatever
it is here, euros or whatever.
Five something.
642
00:33:12,114 --> 00:33:14,074
What's a euro, Julian?
643
00:33:14,116 --> 00:33:16,201
It's the-the money.
644
00:33:16,243 --> 00:33:20,747
It's probably, it's probably a
piece of bread and it's
probably gonna taste like shit.
645
00:33:20,789 --> 00:33:25,002
No. I tried one, Ricky.
They're really good. And I
know cheeseburgers everybody.
646
00:33:25,043 --> 00:33:27,587
So you just want me to sell
them to all these great
people, do you?
647
00:33:27,629 --> 00:33:29,589
Yeah just go around. Who
wants a cheeseburger?
648
00:33:32,884 --> 00:33:34,428
All right. Here's
a Julian burger.
649
00:33:34,470 --> 00:33:38,182
Five quid or whatever the
fuck you call it here.
650
00:33:38,223 --> 00:33:40,976
Julian:
Just sell them, Randy.
651
00:33:41,018 --> 00:33:44,771
This is awesome, man.
Wow. I'm having a really
fucking good time.
652
00:33:44,813 --> 00:33:49,818
Fucking Ricky. It's not Bubbles
fault that he got an anxiety
boner and pierced a juice pack
653
00:33:49,860 --> 00:33:52,946
in his pocket and burst it.
Goddamn asshole!
654
00:33:52,988 --> 00:33:57,284
Only a fucking asshole
embarrasses people in front
of a big crowd like that
655
00:33:57,326 --> 00:34:02,373
and assholes deserve to get
beat. It's payback time, baby.
656
00:34:02,414 --> 00:34:07,461
>It's probably cheeseburger...
>What is that?
657
00:34:07,503 --> 00:34:08,545
Bubbles:
Let's go Ricky.
658
00:34:08,586 --> 00:34:10,130
Ricky:
Bubbles, you fuck off.
659
00:34:10,172 --> 00:34:13,175
Let's go you dirty bitch.
660
00:34:13,217 --> 00:34:17,888
Ricky:
Bubbles, fuck off.
661
00:34:17,929 --> 00:34:20,557
Ricky, put 'em up. Put up your
fucking dukes!
662
00:34:20,598 --> 00:34:24,395
I don't want to fight you. I'll
fucking fight Randy. I don't
want to fight you tonight.
663
00:34:24,436 --> 00:34:26,021
Julian: Just knock him out Bubs.
>Come on, Ricky.
664
00:34:26,063 --> 00:34:28,399
Come on.
Take me on.
665
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:33,695
Just listen to me right now,
okay? Fuck off.
666
00:34:33,737 --> 00:34:35,697
You fucking want one?
You fucking want more?
>Ricky: Bubbles,
667
00:34:35,739 --> 00:34:37,157
I will coat
you-you know what?
668
00:34:37,199 --> 00:34:38,700
I'll coat you in piss right
now if you don't fuck off.
669
00:34:38,742 --> 00:34:40,744
Julian:
Put down the piss jug.
670
00:34:40,785 --> 00:34:42,662
You want some of that?
671
00:34:42,704 --> 00:34:46,833
Oh a piss fight eh?
You want to have a fucking piss
fight in Dublin, do ya?
672
00:34:46,875 --> 00:34:49,378
I'll piss fight ya. I'll
fucking piss fight ya.
Let's go.
673
00:34:49,420 --> 00:34:55,217
Don't you fucking kick
my own piss all over me.
I'm serious. Don't.
674
00:34:55,259 --> 00:34:57,511
Julian: All right Bubs.
What do you want to do here?
675
00:34:57,553 --> 00:35:01,932
I want to get back behind
the fucking curtain and
finish the puppet show.
676
00:35:01,973 --> 00:35:03,308
That's what I want to do.
677
00:35:03,350 --> 00:35:05,352
Julian: We're not-we're not
playing with puppets.
678
00:35:05,394 --> 00:35:09,689
Ricky, you better come up with
something to do because I
already did all...
679
00:35:09,731 --> 00:35:12,526
I fucking played the
guitar, I got my Green
Bastard suit on.
680
00:35:12,568 --> 00:35:14,736
Maybe we're thinking
about this all wrong.
681
00:35:14,778 --> 00:35:19,199
Why the fuck do we have to
stand up here and entertain
these assholes?
682
00:35:19,241 --> 00:35:21,368
Well I mean, I didn't mean
that I guess.
683
00:35:21,410 --> 00:35:22,578
Audience:
Reveen!
684
00:35:22,619 --> 00:35:24,455
Ricky:
Fuck off!
685
00:35:24,496 --> 00:35:29,543
Ricky: See? That's what I'm
talking about. Let's hippotize
some people,
686
00:35:29,585 --> 00:35:33,755
bring them up here and they
can entertain these guys and
entertain us and
687
00:35:33,797 --> 00:35:34,798
Do what to them?
688
00:35:34,839 --> 00:35:35,632
Hippotize them.
689
00:35:35,673 --> 00:35:37,634
Julian:
Hypnotize.
690
00:35:37,675 --> 00:35:43,056
Ricky: You guys don't know what
hippotize means, do ya? You
fucking dummies.
691
00:35:43,098 --> 00:35:46,893
No actually Ricky, I don't
know what hippotize means.
692
00:35:46,935 --> 00:35:48,728
Oh is it too big of a
word, Bubs?
693
00:35:48,770 --> 00:35:51,689
I know what hypnotize means.
I don't know what fucking
hippotize means.
694
00:35:51,731 --> 00:35:56,278
Po-tay-toe. Po-tah-toe, okay?
It's the same fucking thing.
695
00:35:56,320 --> 00:36:01,492
Bubbles: Po-tah-toe. What the
fuck is a po-tah-toe?
696
00:36:01,533 --> 00:36:05,162
I don't know. It's what my dad
always said. Po-tay-toe.
Po-tah-toe.
697
00:36:05,203 --> 00:36:06,746
Some people pronounce it
different I guess.
698
00:36:06,788 --> 00:36:10,501
Well it's not hippotize.
Hypnotize.
699
00:36:10,542 --> 00:36:13,795
You know what? It was just a
fucking idea, okay? I know how
to do it.
700
00:36:13,837 --> 00:36:16,006
Julian:
Oh you know how to do it.
701
00:36:16,047 --> 00:36:18,592
Well people like these dicks who
have been calling me Reveen my
whole life.
702
00:36:18,634 --> 00:36:22,596
Audience:
Reveen!
703
00:36:22,638 --> 00:36:28,935
Great. Anyway, as you can
see it drove me fucking nuts
704
00:36:28,977 --> 00:36:31,771
so I snuck into a few of his
shows and got baked and learned
how to do it.
705
00:36:31,813 --> 00:36:33,731
Oh so you know how to do that.
706
00:36:33,773 --> 00:36:35,775
It's easy. Yeah.
707
00:36:35,817 --> 00:36:39,613
So Reveen, the man who
fucking practiced this for
probably fifty or sixty years
708
00:36:39,655 --> 00:36:44,784
to perfect it, you can just
stroll into one of his shows
baked and be like oh fuck,
709
00:36:44,826 --> 00:36:46,953
I can do that.
710
00:36:46,995 --> 00:36:48,163
Ricky:
Well no, it was more than that.
711
00:36:48,205 --> 00:36:49,331
That's just talking.
712
00:36:49,373 --> 00:36:51,291
I read a bunch of fucking books
in jail.
713
00:36:51,333 --> 00:36:54,711
Oh you read a bunch of books.
Bullshit. You're fucking lying.
714
00:36:54,752 --> 00:36:58,006
Not every word but I took a
bunch of shit out of those
books and put it up into this
715
00:36:58,048 --> 00:36:59,883
fucking thing, yes.
716
00:36:59,924 --> 00:37:02,219
Well fucking explain it to me.
I'd love to know how the fuck
it works.
717
00:37:02,260 --> 00:37:06,848
Okay. For all you dummies on
stage and all you dummies out
there,
718
00:37:06,890 --> 00:37:08,475
you know what this is. It's
a head, right?
719
00:37:08,517 --> 00:37:10,394
Yes. I do know that's a head.
720
00:37:10,435 --> 00:37:15,148
Well in the head under all the
bones is a brain.
721
00:37:15,190 --> 00:37:20,737
The brain is made up of brain
compartments over here and
brain departments on this side
722
00:37:20,778 --> 00:37:25,992
and if you swip-swap a couple
of those, people get fucked up.
They do this crazy shit.
723
00:37:26,034 --> 00:37:28,662
They don't remember anything
afterwards. It's awesome.
Hippotized.
724
00:37:28,704 --> 00:37:33,667
So you read that in a fucking
science book. You take the brain
compartments and the
725
00:37:33,709 --> 00:37:37,337
brain departments and you
swip-swap the fucking things
back and forth.
726
00:37:37,379 --> 00:37:40,006
They said some other different
shit but that's what I took out
of the bookkles
727
00:37:40,048 --> 00:37:43,760
and I made it my own and spoke
it out to you through here. Yes.
728
00:37:43,801 --> 00:37:45,721
Oh my god.
729
00:37:45,762 --> 00:37:48,599
Like I said, it was just a
fucking idea. I've hippotized
guys in jail.
730
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:50,726
I hippotize Lucy, get her to do
dirty things. It's fucking fun.
731
00:37:50,767 --> 00:37:52,810
Julian:
Oh that's real tough.
732
00:37:52,852 --> 00:37:55,564
I don't think that was
hypnotizing, Ricky. I think
that's just 'cuz she's filthy.
733
00:37:55,606 --> 00:38:00,068
You fucking watch yourself,
Bubbles.
734
00:38:00,110 --> 00:38:02,529
Randy:
She is filthy.
735
00:38:02,571 --> 00:38:05,073
Randy, do not fuck with
me tonight.
736
00:38:05,115 --> 00:38:06,157
Bubbles: Maybe you
should let him do this.
737
00:38:06,199 --> 00:38:08,410
Julian:
So you want to do this, Rick?
738
00:38:08,452 --> 00:38:10,870
I'd love to do it but there is
some fucking, there is a few
situations we should talk about.
739
00:38:10,912 --> 00:38:13,873
Julian:
Okay.
740
00:38:13,915 --> 00:38:16,710
If you're too high you probably
shouldn't come up here.
741
00:38:16,752 --> 00:38:22,549
I hippotized Terry in jail
and he was pretty baked one
night and it did not go well.
742
00:38:22,591 --> 00:38:26,762
Wait. Are you talking about
the night you were yammering
in his ear in jail
743
00:38:26,803 --> 00:38:28,722
and he just zoned out
and shit himself?
744
00:38:28,764 --> 00:38:33,059
Yeah that's what I'm talkin' he
was baked and I didn't tell him
to shit himself
745
00:38:33,101 --> 00:38:35,562
and he did anyway. Not good.
746
00:38:35,604 --> 00:38:37,439
That doesn't make sense.
747
00:38:37,481 --> 00:38:41,151
If you're too drunk you can
still come up I think. It's not
a big deal.
748
00:38:41,192 --> 00:38:43,320
I never had a problem with
people too drunk.
749
00:38:43,361 --> 00:38:46,573
Now there's one thing I have no
fucking clue about.
750
00:38:46,615 --> 00:38:49,451
If you're a woman and you got
one of those fucking things in
you stomach, what's it called?
751
00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:52,912
Julian: A fucking thing?
A-a baby?
752
00:38:52,954 --> 00:38:54,998
Not a baby, you fucking idiot.
Before it's bornt.
753
00:38:55,039 --> 00:38:56,249
Audience:
Mistake!
754
00:38:56,291 --> 00:38:58,209
Julian:
A fetus.
755
00:38:58,251 --> 00:39:02,464
Yes. If you're a woman
and you have a fenus,
I don't know if I'd chance it
756
00:39:02,506 --> 00:39:06,926
'cuz I might hippotize
the fenus, it might come
out all fucky, I have no idea.
757
00:39:06,968 --> 00:39:10,138
I'm not a fucking professional
by ready means, just so you
all know that.
758
00:39:10,180 --> 00:39:16,102
Oh there's the fucking headline
in the Dublin paper tomorrow.
Ricky hypnotizes lady's fenus.
759
00:39:16,144 --> 00:39:22,108
Fenus is probably
gonna come out all fucky.
760
00:39:22,150 --> 00:39:25,987
You know what? It might be fine.
I have no idea. I'm leaving so I
don't give a fuck.
761
00:39:26,029 --> 00:39:27,823
Come on up with your
fenuses whatever.
762
00:39:27,864 --> 00:39:32,285
Okay so I think we
should do this.
763
00:39:32,327 --> 00:39:34,371
Julian:
Definitely.
764
00:39:34,412 --> 00:39:38,875
Okay. This is the part I can't
do. I can hippotize them. I
can't de-hippotize them.
765
00:39:38,916 --> 00:39:43,963
So you gotta go on the worldy
pipe, you know the thing that
fucking brings things down to
766
00:39:44,005 --> 00:39:46,132
your click-clak. What's...?
767
00:39:46,174 --> 00:39:47,634
The internet.
768
00:39:47,676 --> 00:39:49,636
Whatever you call it. Sure.
769
00:39:49,678 --> 00:39:54,474
Get on the fucking worldy pipe
and I need a video it's fucking
770
00:39:54,516 --> 00:39:58,186
like brain reconfuckulation
or brain de-fuck
771
00:39:58,228 --> 00:40:02,982
Oh yeah no I'll get right on.
I'll find it on there, Ricky.
772
00:40:03,024 --> 00:40:05,652
I'm sure you just type in brain
reconfuckulation, it'll pop
right up.
773
00:40:05,694 --> 00:40:09,656
I think it should but if they
watch that everyone here will be
fine tomorrow.
774
00:40:09,698 --> 00:40:13,744
If not, they could be fucked for
the rest of their lives. So we
should-should maybe do that.
775
00:40:13,785 --> 00:40:17,080
Bubbles: Okay. All right. I'm
sure-I'm sure it's fine.
776
00:40:17,121 --> 00:40:19,916
Well let's find me something to
fucking wear and let's do this.
777
00:40:19,957 --> 00:40:21,292
Get some people up here, Julian.
778
00:40:21,334 --> 00:40:22,419
How many people do you want?
What? Like ten, twelve?
779
00:40:22,460 --> 00:40:23,503
Ricky:
No, no two or three.
780
00:40:23,545 --> 00:40:25,505
Julian:
Two or three?
781
00:40:25,547 --> 00:40:27,674
Guys, I'd like to be hippotized.
782
00:40:27,716 --> 00:40:30,844
Oh I would fucking love
to hippotize you.
783
00:40:30,886 --> 00:40:33,513
Ricky, I'd want to go to the
land of cheeseburgers.
784
00:40:33,555 --> 00:40:36,892
I just want you to fucking
listen to us when we talk
to you.
785
00:40:36,933 --> 00:40:38,017
And onion rings.
786
00:40:38,059 --> 00:40:38,643
Ricky:
Fuck off!
787
00:40:38,685 --> 00:40:39,686
Onion ring trees.
788
00:40:39,728 --> 00:40:41,271
Lets' do this boys.
789
00:40:41,312 --> 00:40:43,440
...reach up pick an onion ring
right off.
790
00:40:43,481 --> 00:40:45,358
Bubbles: Go to the land of fuck
off, Randy. How about that?
791
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:49,571
All right two or three people?
Is that-that's it?
792
00:40:49,613 --> 00:40:52,031
Get like get-get a bunch of
ladies. Get some ladies.
793
00:40:52,073 --> 00:40:53,366
All right.
794
00:40:53,408 --> 00:40:54,743
Get some ladies.
795
00:40:54,785 --> 00:40:56,870
Okay. All right Randy,
go get some fucking chairs.
796
00:40:56,912 --> 00:40:58,246
Randy:
Chairs?
797
00:40:58,288 --> 00:41:02,959
All right can we bring
the lights up for a second?
798
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:09,048
Is there any ladies out there
that want to get hippotized by
Ricky? All right.
799
00:41:09,090 --> 00:41:11,593
Get the fuck up. Put your hands
up. You right there? Get the
fuck up here.
800
00:41:11,635 --> 00:41:18,558
Come on up Blondie. I mean
I don't know how the fuck you're
going to get down here.
801
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:26,441
Don't jump. Oh right on. Okay.
Thanks. I'm trying to do
something here.
802
00:41:26,483 --> 00:41:30,612
All right. Any more ladies? Put
your hands up. Come on.
This is gonna be-
803
00:41:30,654 --> 00:41:37,911
he can't fucking hypnotize ya.
He doesn't know how. All right
we need a few more like
804
00:41:37,953 --> 00:41:45,251
well okay this isn't bad. Holy
fuck. All right Rick, we're all
set. Let's see you hippotize.
805
00:41:45,293 --> 00:41:46,127
Randy:
I can't wait.
806
00:41:46,169 --> 00:41:47,963
Ricky:
Check this shit out.
807
00:41:48,004 --> 00:41:50,173
Julian:
That looks pretty good man.
808
00:41:50,214 --> 00:41:58,807
Ricky: And I feel fucking
awesome. I feel kind of
important. How's it going?
809
00:41:58,849 --> 00:42:00,266
Four ladies.
810
00:42:00,308 --> 00:42:02,059
And Randy.
811
00:42:02,101 --> 00:42:06,857
Fuck off Randy. All right. Have
you guys ever been hippotized
before?
812
00:42:06,898 --> 00:42:07,691
Randy:
No.
813
00:42:07,732 --> 00:42:09,943
Ricky:
Perfect.
814
00:42:09,985 --> 00:42:17,450
Hi there. How you doing?
815
00:42:17,492 --> 00:42:21,120
Bubbles is a little frisky.
816
00:42:21,162 --> 00:42:22,497
Kiggly wiggly.
817
00:42:22,539 --> 00:42:23,874
Julian:
Bubs take the microphone.
818
00:42:23,915 --> 00:42:27,794
Hahaha tickly wickly.
What's your name?
819
00:42:27,836 --> 00:42:29,086
Trish.
820
00:42:29,128 --> 00:42:30,005
Trish? how you doing, Trish?
What's your name?
821
00:42:30,046 --> 00:42:31,464
Lindsay.
822
00:42:31,506 --> 00:42:35,552
Lindsay. What's your name?
823
00:42:35,593 --> 00:42:36,803
Suzie.
824
00:42:36,845 --> 00:42:38,137
What is it?
>Suzie
825
00:42:38,179 --> 00:42:40,306
Heard you the first time.
Hahaha! Tricked ya.
826
00:42:40,348 --> 00:42:44,227
All right. Did you find
some trippy music and some
trippy lights?
827
00:42:44,268 --> 00:42:45,645
Yes. I got the music and the
lights.
828
00:42:45,687 --> 00:42:46,813
Wicked.
829
00:42:46,855 --> 00:42:48,648
We got some freaky deaky lights
to put on.
830
00:42:48,690 --> 00:42:52,193
Bring these ones maybe and
yeah, look at that Ricky.
831
00:42:52,235 --> 00:42:53,236
Ricky:
Oh yeah, that's...
832
00:42:53,277 --> 00:42:55,196
Bubbles:
Now that looks spooky.
833
00:42:55,238 --> 00:42:59,576
Ricky: That's tripping me
out. Hahahah! Oh yeah. Look at
that shit. Nice.
834
00:42:59,617 --> 00:43:01,870
Bubbles:
Spooky-dooky.
835
00:43:01,912 --> 00:43:05,874
Ricky: A little bit of smoke.
All right. Well what I need you
guys to do if you've never been
836
00:43:05,916 --> 00:43:09,252
hippotized before you gotta take
your hands like this and put
your fingers against the back of
837
00:43:09,293 --> 00:43:13,172
your hands. Anybody else wants
to play along, go ahead. I don't
really give a fuck
838
00:43:13,214 --> 00:43:19,220
I'm leaving and your thumbs
down flat. Wow.
839
00:43:19,262 --> 00:43:22,724
There's no fucking Cory and
Trevors up here tonight.
840
00:43:22,766 --> 00:43:24,308
Randy:
Like this Ricky?
841
00:43:24,350 --> 00:43:28,855
You're fucked. You better not
fuck this up, Randy I'm serious.
842
00:43:28,897 --> 00:43:32,525
Okay so with your fingers
against the back of your hands
and your thumbs down flat,
843
00:43:32,567 --> 00:43:38,531
I want everyone to start to
relax and listen to my voice and
even though my voice sounds a
844
00:43:38,573 --> 00:43:43,954
little bit drunk and high -
that's 'cuz it is Bubs.
845
00:43:43,995 --> 00:43:49,417
Um and everyone else in here is
probably drunk and high and
it's gonna hopefully...
846
00:43:49,459 --> 00:43:51,795
Julian, fuck off.
Do not fuck this up.
847
00:43:51,836 --> 00:43:54,965
Julian: I'm getting some
cutaways. I'm documentin' it.
848
00:43:55,006 --> 00:43:57,592
Well don't fuck this up, I'm
serious. Or else you'll be doing
your own fucking thing.
849
00:43:57,634 --> 00:44:02,430
All right so with your fingers
against the back of your hands
and your thumbs down flat,
850
00:44:02,472 --> 00:44:07,560
I want everyone to close
their eyes now. Especially you
Randy, you fuck head.
851
00:44:07,602 --> 00:44:09,312
I am.
852
00:44:09,353 --> 00:44:14,901
And my voice is gonna start to
sound really fucking soothing
853
00:44:14,943 --> 00:44:18,488
and it's gonna start to take
over.
854
00:44:18,529 --> 00:44:21,282
I want everyone to start
breathing in through their mouth
855
00:44:21,324 --> 00:44:26,830
and out breathing
through their nose and relaxing
with your eyes closed,
856
00:44:26,871 --> 00:44:32,335
and now I want you to
imagine we're in a big
fucking tall building
857
00:44:32,376 --> 00:44:34,337
somewhere around Doobie-lin
858
00:44:34,378 --> 00:44:38,758
and we need to get the fuck off
this tall building we're a
little freaked out
859
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:43,096
so we jump on this elevator on
the roof and magically there's
every kind of weed and hash
860
00:44:43,138 --> 00:44:47,517
from around the world, every
kind of liquor drink,
blender drinks,
861
00:44:47,558 --> 00:44:49,602
whatever the fuck you can think
of is there.
862
00:44:49,644 --> 00:44:51,479
Randy:
Cheeseburgers?
863
00:44:51,521 --> 00:44:56,442
Yes. Cheeseburgers. Pepperoni.
Chicken fingers. Ice cream.
Gummy worms.
864
00:44:56,484 --> 00:44:58,736
Randy:
Onion rings?
865
00:44:58,778 --> 00:45:03,033
Ricky: Onion rings. Randy, fuck
off! It's all there and we're
eating and we're getting drunk
866
00:45:03,074 --> 00:45:07,202
and we're smoking and having the
fucking time of our lives,
867
00:45:07,244 --> 00:45:12,207
relaxing but now we need to
get down 'cuz we're starting
to get a little freaked out.
868
00:45:12,249 --> 00:45:19,507
It's too fucking high up
here. So the elevator starts
to go down, down, down, down
869
00:45:19,549 --> 00:45:28,641
from the 80th floor to the 70th
floor. We smoke some more, drink
some more, eat some more.
870
00:45:28,683 --> 00:45:29,642
This-fuck, what floor
are we on, Bubs?
871
00:45:29,684 --> 00:45:31,644
Julian:
60th
872
00:45:31,686 --> 00:45:33,813
I think we're on fifty Ricky.
it's very relaxing.
873
00:45:33,855 --> 00:45:36,066
You gotta stop paying
attention. We need to get drunk
and high later.
874
00:45:36,107 --> 00:45:37,692
You're not supposed to be
paying attention.
875
00:45:37,734 --> 00:45:39,694
No. I'm fine. It's very nice. I
was eating some gummy worms.
876
00:45:39,736 --> 00:45:43,990
Fuck! So we keep smoking and
drinking and eating. We go down
to the 50th floor,
877
00:45:44,032 --> 00:45:52,999
the 40th floor, the 30th
floor, the 20th floor, the
10thieth floor and finally
878
00:45:53,041 --> 00:45:56,836
reach the bottom of this big
fucking tall building and we get
off and we go outside, drunk,
879
00:45:56,878 --> 00:46:05,178
high, relaxed, stuffed and now
you can actually open your eyes
if you're capable hopefully.
880
00:46:05,220 --> 00:46:11,059
If you haven't fallen a fucking
sleep up here and keep your
fingers tied against the back of
881
00:46:11,101 --> 00:46:14,353
your hands. Now I want you
to - to put your hands over
your head like this
882
00:46:14,395 --> 00:46:17,023
'cuz up there you
see those trippy lights and that
big fucking trippy rainbow?
883
00:46:17,065 --> 00:46:21,903
You want to press our
hands towards that and try to
touch that.
884
00:46:21,945 --> 00:46:27,533
You've got to keep your fingers
tight against the back of your
hands and Julian, fuck off!
885
00:46:27,575 --> 00:46:31,204
And we keep trying to press our
fucking hands towards this
magical rainbow and the more we
886
00:46:31,246 --> 00:46:35,959
press the more our fingers are
starting to stick together and
feel a little bit fucking glued.
887
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,712
You're trying to figure out how
this idiot that you thought
couldn't do this has stuck your
888
00:46:39,754 --> 00:46:44,884
fucking hands together. But
don't worry about it 'cuz I'm
gonna count down from five to
889
00:46:44,926 --> 00:46:48,263
zero, at zero I'll gonna
stomp my foot on the stage
when you're super relaxed.
890
00:46:48,303 --> 00:46:51,641
I'm gonna stomp my foot and
your fingers hopefully will
fucking come together.
891
00:46:51,682 --> 00:46:54,978
Julian, I'm gonna fucking
kill you for this.
892
00:46:55,019 --> 00:46:56,520
Julian:
Just keep going, Rick.
893
00:46:56,562 --> 00:46:59,983
Ricky: So five we're fucking
relaxed. Your fingers are stuck.
894
00:47:00,024 --> 00:47:04,612
Four, you're getting relaxed
and your fingers are
starting to unglue a bit.
895
00:47:04,654 --> 00:47:08,825
Three, you're more relaxed than
four. Two, you're fucking
super duperly relaxed. One.
896
00:47:08,866 --> 00:47:09,909
Bubbles:
What the fuck is going on?
897
00:47:09,951 --> 00:47:11,244
Ricky:
Bubbles, it's coming.
898
00:47:11,286 --> 00:47:13,454
Bubbles:
My fingers are stuck together.
899
00:47:13,496 --> 00:47:15,706
Ricky: One, you're the most
relaxed you've ever felt and
zero I'm gonna stomp my fucking
900
00:47:15,748 --> 00:47:17,917
foot right now, I'm gonna stomp
my foot and your fingers better
come apart or we're fucked.
901
00:47:17,959 --> 00:47:22,922
Zero. Hopefully they come
apart and your fingers should
come apart now sort of maybe.
902
00:47:22,964 --> 00:47:27,927
Yes. Yeah we got them.
903
00:47:27,969 --> 00:47:29,762
How the fuck did you
do that, Ricky?
904
00:47:29,804 --> 00:47:34,934
It's simple science. I told
ya. I fucking swip-swap
brain compartments
905
00:47:34,976 --> 00:47:39,022
with departments and now
things are really gonna get
fucking crazy.
906
00:47:39,063 --> 00:47:41,858
Julian:
Ricky, nothing happened.
907
00:47:41,899 --> 00:47:45,611
Julian, something happened 'cuz
I could not pull those apart.
908
00:47:45,653 --> 00:47:46,696
Come on Bubs nothing
fucking happened.
909
00:47:46,737 --> 00:47:48,572
He put me in a fucking trance!
910
00:47:48,614 --> 00:47:51,450
This is what Reveen does. He
brings people up and fucking
hippotizes them
911
00:47:51,492 --> 00:47:54,620
and yes I did hippotize
them, I also hypnotized the
entire fucking building.
912
00:47:54,662 --> 00:47:56,247
Bubbles:
What?
913
00:47:56,289 --> 00:48:00,126
Yes. Randy, everybody in
here is fucking hippotized
right now.
914
00:48:00,168 --> 00:48:01,002
Julian:
Oh come on Ricky.
915
00:48:01,044 --> 00:48:01,836
Ricky:
They are.
916
00:48:01,878 --> 00:48:04,005
Julian:
Nothing happened.
917
00:48:04,047 --> 00:48:05,256
Okay we'll see. They'll do and
say whatever you want, Bubs.
Try some shit if you want.
918
00:48:07,342 --> 00:48:10,511
Look at their eyes, Julian.
They're all fucked up.
919
00:48:10,553 --> 00:48:12,347
Julian: Bubs, they're drunk and
high man.
920
00:48:12,387 --> 00:48:14,140
They'll be fine tomorrow. Just
remember to play that fucking
video.
921
00:48:14,182 --> 00:48:16,559
We have to or they're gonna
be fucked for the rest of
their lives.
922
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:18,311
These people are?
923
00:48:18,353 --> 00:48:20,980
Yes. We can actually send
them back 'cuz everyone's
hippotized.
924
00:48:21,022 --> 00:48:24,317
Randy:
I'm still hungry.
925
00:48:24,359 --> 00:48:32,867
Thank you. Nice to meet ya. Nice
to meet ya.
926
00:48:32,909 --> 00:48:36,704
And although you won't remember
the rest of the show, we will.
It's gonna be fucking fun.
927
00:48:36,746 --> 00:48:38,748
Julian: Thanks for coming up,
ladies. Sorry for wasting your
time.
928
00:48:38,789 --> 00:48:43,086
Bubs, this is gonna be awesome.
We can get drunk and high as
fuck now.
929
00:48:43,127 --> 00:48:44,921
They're not
gonna remember shit.
930
00:48:44,962 --> 00:48:48,007
Bubbles: All right. I'll run
some fucking tests. I'll run
some tests.
931
00:48:48,049 --> 00:48:49,884
Where's the centre of the stage?
932
00:48:49,926 --> 00:48:52,887
Julian:Right here.
>Ricky: No it's right over here.
The center of the stage?
933
00:48:52,929 --> 00:48:55,598
Julian: The centre of the stage
is right here.
934
00:48:55,639 --> 00:48:57,432
The center of the stage, Ricky.
935
00:48:57,474 --> 00:49:01,896
Why do you always think the
definition of centre means to
the left?
936
00:49:01,938 --> 00:49:04,941
Well we used Julian's centre I
guess tonight.
937
00:49:04,982 --> 00:49:12,907
The centre right here. Okay. I'm
gonna draw an imaginary line up
the centre. Okay.
938
00:49:12,949 --> 00:49:18,579
When I point to everybody on
this half of the-this half of
the line,
939
00:49:18,621 --> 00:49:24,543
even up there all you people,
the top of your lungs, I need
you to scream the word cock.
940
00:49:24,585 --> 00:49:26,879
Cock? Could you pick a
different word?
941
00:49:26,921 --> 00:49:30,591
Just fucking hear me out.
There's a method to this.
942
00:49:30,633 --> 00:49:32,885
This will prove it
I guess.
943
00:49:32,927 --> 00:49:36,931
Okay when I point to this half
of the building here, I want you
guys to scream the word tractor.
944
00:49:36,973 --> 00:49:41,060
Julian:
Cock tractor.
945
00:49:41,102 --> 00:49:43,104
What the fuck is a cock tractor?
946
00:49:43,146 --> 00:49:48,609
A cock tractor. It's what a
farmer drives around, pulls his
chickens around on.
947
00:49:48,651 --> 00:49:54,115
Oh okay. I thought we were
talking about something totally
different must be my buzz on.
948
00:49:54,157 --> 00:49:57,410
No a cock tractor, okay so if
they're not hypnotized Julian
949
00:49:57,452 --> 00:50:00,788
then I guess nothing'll happen
if I do this.
950
00:50:00,830 --> 00:50:04,834
Crowd:
Cock! Tractor!
951
00:50:04,875 --> 00:50:06,419
They're fucking hypnotized.
952
00:50:06,461 --> 00:50:07,420
They're not hypnotized.
953
00:50:07,462 --> 00:50:09,839
Did you fucking hear them?
954
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:17,930
Crowd: Cock! Tractor! Tractor!
Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock!
955
00:50:17,972 --> 00:50:28,316
Okay. We're good here. Jesus.
956
00:50:28,358 --> 00:50:32,611
It's a very, very powerful
feeling boys.
957
00:50:32,653 --> 00:50:40,119
It's like I was shooting cock
bolts out of my fingers.
Like a cock wizard.
958
00:50:40,161 --> 00:50:41,704
Ricky:
Are we good here?
959
00:50:41,745 --> 00:50:44,123
Julian, there's two old ladies
in the front going cock! Cock!
960
00:50:44,165 --> 00:50:50,004
Ricky: I wish fucking Cory and
Trevor were here.
961
00:50:50,046 --> 00:50:52,048
Julian:
Yeah no shit!
962
00:50:52,089 --> 00:50:55,968
Those fucking dicks abandoned me
after I taught them how to live
and
963
00:50:56,010 --> 00:50:57,970
You want Cory and Trevor?
964
00:50:58,012 --> 00:51:00,181
No just wait, Ricky.
Come here.
>Fuck me. What?
965
00:51:00,223 --> 00:51:04,852
Come here for a second just
wait. I'm baked now. You gotta
think outside the box here.
966
00:51:04,894 --> 00:51:09,065
I'm not in a fucking box. I
don't think.
967
00:51:09,106 --> 00:51:13,652
No Ricky. I mean you gotta think
differently. Look everybody here
is hypnotized, right?
968
00:51:13,694 --> 00:51:15,863
Right.
969
00:51:15,905 --> 00:51:18,324
You want to have a Cory and
Trevor, I can just tell two
people they are Cory and Trevor
970
00:51:18,366 --> 00:51:20,034
and they'll fucking believe it.
971
00:51:20,076 --> 00:51:21,618
That's a fucking good idea.
972
00:51:21,660 --> 00:51:25,331
Can we turn the lights up for a
second here? For one second?
973
00:51:25,373 --> 00:51:29,168
Bubbles: Can I have the
two biggest dickweeds,
974
00:51:29,210 --> 00:51:31,170
the dumbest two guys in the
place put your hands up?
975
00:51:31,212 --> 00:51:33,256
Ricky: Holy fuck there's a lot
of dummies here.
976
00:51:33,297 --> 00:51:36,926
Julian: Shit okay we're looking
for a Trevor you gotta be like,
what, six foot two?
977
00:51:36,967 --> 00:51:38,928
Well pretty tall.
978
00:51:38,969 --> 00:51:40,888
Really long arms wing span.
979
00:51:40,930 --> 00:51:41,889
Great big garbage scooping arms.
980
00:51:41,931 --> 00:51:43,640
Dumb as fuck.
981
00:51:43,682 --> 00:51:48,896
Holy fuck, look at the wing span
on this guy. He looks really
dumb.
982
00:51:48,938 --> 00:51:54,402
All right. We need a Cory.
You've got to be about five
foot six, really dumb.
983
00:51:54,444 --> 00:51:56,362
This guy right here? Maybe? I
don't know.
984
00:51:56,404 --> 00:51:58,155
That guy?
>They-they're saying he's
like Cory.
985
00:51:58,197 --> 00:52:00,324
Are you like five six?
>Ricky: He doesn't really
look like Trevor.
986
00:52:00,366 --> 00:52:02,201
Julian: All right come on up.
This guy doesn't-this guy he
don't look like Cory man.
987
00:52:02,243 --> 00:52:06,080
Ricky: No that's a bad one.
He looks like Randy.
988
00:52:06,122 --> 00:52:10,543
Bubbles: This is Cory?
He's kind of a Cory
fucking Cory/Randy hybrid.
989
00:52:10,585 --> 00:52:20,219
I'm just fucking with you there,
pal. Here Trevor. Put that on
your head.
990
00:52:20,261 --> 00:52:22,263
Make you look a little more like
Trevor anyway.
991
00:52:22,305 --> 00:52:26,601
Ricky: Yeah, all right. That's
better. Trevor got some glasses.
992
00:52:26,641 --> 00:52:31,564
And a fucking red beard. He
looks a little bit like him.
993
00:52:31,606 --> 00:52:38,779
Here. Jam those on and here go
over, stand with him. Put that
on your head like Cory wears it.
994
00:52:38,821 --> 00:52:41,240
Boys, just move over here.
Just come over here.
995
00:52:41,282 --> 00:52:46,120
Let's just observe them in their
natural habitat here for a
second.
996
00:52:46,162 --> 00:52:54,295
Ricky: Holy fuck. He's stupid.
Is it possible that two people
are dumber than Cory and Trevor?
997
00:52:54,337 --> 00:52:58,007
Oh yes it is
possible apparently.
998
00:52:58,048 --> 00:53:02,428
Julian: Holy shit.
>Ricky: Jesus Christ.
999
00:53:02,470 --> 00:53:06,349
That's as probably as
good as we're gonna get.
1000
00:53:06,390 --> 00:53:12,271
Bubbles: Okay Ricky, there you
go. You got your Cory and Trevor
now. Fucking berate them.
1001
00:53:12,313 --> 00:53:21,947
Ricky: You fucking assholes.
Boys I need some joints fucking
rolled and actually
1002
00:53:21,989 --> 00:53:24,283
you know what? I'm concerned
here is that they look too
fucking dumb to roll joints.
1003
00:53:24,325 --> 00:53:27,620
You want joints rolled, we
got a whole bunch of
people here.
1004
00:53:27,662 --> 00:53:30,122
Get some ladies up here and
roll some joints.
1005
00:53:30,164 --> 00:53:32,875
Ah no. Fuck that.
1006
00:53:32,916 --> 00:53:34,043
Julian:
What do you mean no?
1007
00:53:34,084 --> 00:53:36,128
Bubbles:
What do you mean no?
1008
00:53:36,170 --> 00:53:38,214
Boys, women can't roll joints.
1009
00:53:38,255 --> 00:53:43,718
Ricky I bet ya there's ladies
here in Dublin that can roll a
mean fucking joint.
1010
00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:46,347
Well maybe it's different here,
I don't know.
1011
00:53:46,389 --> 00:53:51,143
I mean it is called Doobie-Lin
so possibly they can.
1012
00:53:51,185 --> 00:53:54,063
They can't in Sunnyvale or
anywhere else in Canada I've
been but...
1013
00:53:54,104 --> 00:53:55,856
Well get some up here.
1014
00:53:55,898 --> 00:53:58,817
If you come up here and
you can't roll I will
fucking snap so I hope,
1015
00:53:58,859 --> 00:54:01,070
I hope you prove me wrong.
1016
00:54:01,111 --> 00:54:06,992
All right. Is there any ladies
out there that can roll joints?
And love the taste of rum?
1017
00:54:07,034 --> 00:54:12,498
Okay we've got two. We've got
three. Thank fuck.
1018
00:54:12,540 --> 00:54:17,211
Oh that was all right girls. I
hope to fuck you guys aren't
cocking me round here.
1019
00:54:17,253 --> 00:54:20,673
Bubbles: Cory, Trevor get the
fuck over there.
1020
00:54:20,715 --> 00:54:26,262
Ricky: Get the fuck over here
boys. Let's go. First off, let's
go. Smokes. Who's got them?
1021
00:54:26,303 --> 00:54:28,847
Who's fucking got them? Nice.
1022
00:54:28,889 --> 00:54:34,937
Ricky, get them to get a fucking
table out here would ya.
1023
00:54:34,978 --> 00:54:36,397
Ricky: Get that table and bring
it the fuck out here.
1024
00:54:36,439 --> 00:54:40,693
Bubbles: I'm waiting for you,
for fuck sakes.
1025
00:54:40,735 --> 00:54:43,529
Ricky: Watch out don't fucking
hurt anybody.
1026
00:54:43,571 --> 00:54:45,114
Bubbles: Okay. I'm just gonna
wait here. Get it set up.
1027
00:54:45,155 --> 00:54:47,116
Ricky: Okay it's right here in
the centre, perfect.
1028
00:54:47,157 --> 00:54:47,950
Bubbles:
Holy fuck Ricky.
1029
00:54:47,991 --> 00:54:52,288
Ricky:
Way to go, boys.
1030
00:54:52,329 --> 00:54:57,918
Boys, do you know where
the fucking centre of the
stage is?
1031
00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:04,634
Put the table in the centre of
the fucking stage. My god.
1032
00:55:04,675 --> 00:55:12,725
Julian: Holy fuck. Oh my -
boys, the centre of the stage.
Right there.
1033
00:55:12,767 --> 00:55:22,276
Ricky: Jesus Christ. The Irish
Trevor and Cory are fucked!
1034
00:55:22,318 --> 00:55:31,076
Bubbles: Yeah, Irish
Trevor and Cory are not
very smart.
1035
00:55:31,118 --> 00:55:33,912
At least they knew how to work a
chair. That's good.
1036
00:55:33,954 --> 00:55:35,998
Let's see who we're dealing
with here. What's your name?
1037
00:55:36,039 --> 00:55:37,541
Trish.
1038
00:55:37,583 --> 00:55:41,128
Trish. It hasn't changed eh?
Excellent. What's your name?
1039
00:55:41,170 --> 00:55:43,088
Cerica.
1040
00:55:43,130 --> 00:55:46,425
What the fuck did you just say?
1041
00:55:46,467 --> 00:55:48,260
Cerica.
1042
00:55:48,302 --> 00:55:49,178
Cerica?
1043
00:55:49,219 --> 00:55:50,137
Cerica
1044
00:55:50,179 --> 00:55:50,929
Julian:
Cerica
1045
00:55:50,971 --> 00:55:51,806
Cerica.
1046
00:55:51,846 --> 00:55:53,766
Cerica.
1047
00:55:53,808 --> 00:55:55,601
Randy:
Is that a porn star, Bubbles?
1048
00:55:55,643 --> 00:55:59,938
Randy, you shut the fuck up.
She's not a porn star. Her
name's Cerica.
1049
00:55:59,980 --> 00:56:04,443
Better name than fucking Randy.
What's your name?
1050
00:56:04,485 --> 00:56:05,152
Katrina.
1051
00:56:05,194 --> 00:56:06,028
What is it?
1052
00:56:06,069 --> 00:56:06,987
Katrina.
1053
00:56:07,029 --> 00:56:08,071
Katrina. All right.
1054
00:56:08,113 --> 00:56:10,491
Ricky:
Wow. Is that your real hair?
1055
00:56:10,533 --> 00:56:13,118
Can I touch that?
1056
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:15,037
Ricky:
That's cool.
1057
00:56:15,078 --> 00:56:17,289
Dee-dee-deedle-deedle
1058
00:56:17,331 --> 00:56:21,126
Ricky: All right. I still do not
believe you guys can roll so I'm
gonna pull out some shitty,
1059
00:56:21,168 --> 00:56:26,382
shitty shake and we'll see if
you guys can roll this up and
then we'll pull out some really,
1060
00:56:26,423 --> 00:56:29,968
really fun stuff.
1061
00:56:30,010 --> 00:56:31,303
Bubbles: Okay so what are the
rules here, Ricky?
1062
00:56:31,345 --> 00:56:34,515
Let's make it simple. The
first fucking joint wins
1063
00:56:34,557 --> 00:56:36,392
but it's gotta-it's gotta be
a smokeable joint.
1064
00:56:36,433 --> 00:56:39,144
-so not biggest or anything
like that, just
1065
00:56:39,186 --> 00:56:41,104
I want to go there but I don't
even believe - oh fuck she's
sticking patties together.
1066
00:56:41,146 --> 00:56:44,066
She's tearing the shit out of
this pack. Look. Filter being
made right here.
1067
00:56:44,107 --> 00:56:49,488
Okay you guys are gonna
fucking prove me wrong here.
This is awesome.
1068
00:56:49,530 --> 00:56:53,158
Look at those nails, Ricky.
Look at those nails. Those
nails are done.
1069
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:55,202
All right she's got-she's doing
great here.
1070
00:56:55,244 --> 00:56:57,037
Look it, she's already
piling it in.
1071
00:56:57,079 --> 00:57:02,501
I may possibly fucking move here
right now. This is fantastic.
1072
00:57:02,543 --> 00:57:05,003
Look at Martha Stewart
over here. Craft time.
1073
00:57:05,045 --> 00:57:08,173
Oh geez. She's got
it going. Look.
1074
00:57:08,215 --> 00:57:08,841
What the fuck is going on here?
1075
00:57:08,883 --> 00:57:10,718
I'm gonna fucking...
1076
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:18,100
That is that's a fatty.
1077
00:57:18,141 --> 00:57:21,228
It looks like a fucking Snoop
Dogg joint.
1078
00:57:21,270 --> 00:57:23,731
Ricky: She's putting a
filter in. Jesus Christ.
They can all roll.
1079
00:57:23,773 --> 00:57:25,023
Okay, okay.
She's almost ready.
1080
00:57:25,065 --> 00:57:27,109
She's got the filter in
down here.
1081
00:57:27,150 --> 00:57:33,031
I love this place! I am
impressed. Okay. They can roll.
All three of them, which -
1082
00:57:33,073 --> 00:57:34,742
Julian: All right do you want to
see a competition?
1083
00:57:34,784 --> 00:57:36,619
Ricky: What do you mean
the competition? That was
the competition.
1084
00:57:36,660 --> 00:57:40,038
Julian: That was a shitty
competition. Okay boys. Get the
fuck out here.
1085
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:43,459
You guys have three empty
bottles, three full bottles.
There's three contestants,
1086
00:57:43,500 --> 00:57:49,047
try to fucking figure this one
out boys. What are you gonna
do with the bottles? Think.
1087
00:57:49,089 --> 00:57:51,425
Bubbles: Three full ones and
three empty ones
1088
00:57:51,467 --> 00:57:57,932
No you don't drink them.
Three contest-holy fuck. What
the fuck are ya doing?
1089
00:57:57,973 --> 00:58:02,770
Ya souveneirs. Just take them.
Go see ya guys. Thanks for
coming out. Well done.
1090
00:58:02,812 --> 00:58:05,063
Julian: A full bottle each, an
empty bottle each. Now hurry the
fuck up.
1091
00:58:05,105 --> 00:58:07,608
Bubbles:
What is this competition?
1092
00:58:07,650 --> 00:58:09,401
This is called the rum transfer.
1093
00:58:09,443 --> 00:58:12,070
Don't oh - geez.
Oh my god.
1094
00:58:12,112 --> 00:58:13,572
All right, don't open anything.
1095
00:58:13,614 --> 00:58:15,741
I can't believe these guys
actually function in
society.
1096
00:58:15,783 --> 00:58:19,912
Would you give me that
Cory. Stop fucking around, and
the other one.
1097
00:58:19,954 --> 00:58:22,080
Maybe he's on mushrooms
or something.
1098
00:58:22,122 --> 00:58:24,667
What are ya,
a fucking pirate?
1099
00:58:24,708 --> 00:58:27,336
Julian: All right ladies, this
is called the rum transfer.
This is what you gotta do.
1100
00:58:27,377 --> 00:58:29,839
Ricky:
What?
1101
00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:33,425
You take the full bottle, you
put it in your mouth, take a
swig. You don't swallow.
1102
00:58:33,467 --> 00:58:36,637
You spit. Spit into the empty
one, the fullest one...
1103
00:58:36,679 --> 00:58:38,973
That's disgus - hold on a
second. Is this real rum?
1104
00:58:39,014 --> 00:58:41,433
What do you mean is
this real rum?
1105
00:58:41,475 --> 00:58:45,604
Give me one of the bottles. Get
the microphone, Ricky?
1106
00:58:45,646 --> 00:58:48,148
Where is the fucking
microphone? Get the fuck out of
my way, boys.
1107
00:58:48,190 --> 00:58:54,780
We got C-Dog dark rum.
1108
00:58:54,822 --> 00:58:56,365
All right.
1109
00:58:56,406 --> 00:58:57,449
Some people are like yeah and
other people are like oh fuck.
1110
00:58:57,491 --> 00:58:59,952
What do we do?
1111
00:58:59,994 --> 00:59:04,164
Okay, just listen. Just listen
to this. Let's see if it's real.
1112
00:59:04,206 --> 00:59:06,667
Julian:
Of course it's real.
1113
00:59:06,709 --> 00:59:08,002
Ricky:
Okay
1114
00:59:08,043 --> 00:59:11,463
Seadog. Argh go have
the fucking seadog into ya.
1115
00:59:11,505 --> 00:59:15,885
Julian: The first one to fill up
the empty one is the winner and
fucking awesome.
1116
00:59:15,926 --> 00:59:18,470
Julian, this is fucked.
This would make me puke.
1117
00:59:18,512 --> 00:59:21,015
Okay just a second,
Go! Go! Go! Go!
1118
00:59:22,683 --> 00:59:23,684
All right, she's pretty fucking
psyched up.
1119
00:59:23,726 --> 00:59:25,185
Ricky:
Oh god.
1120
00:59:25,227 --> 00:59:27,730
Julian: Come ladies.
Holy shit this is beautiful.
1121
00:59:27,771 --> 00:59:29,147
Bubbles:
Seadog.
1122
00:59:29,189 --> 00:59:32,818
Ricky: Ah Randy, zoom in.
This is fucking horrible.
1123
00:59:32,860 --> 00:59:36,989
Julian: No this is the kind of
shit I dream about in jail boys.
Look at this.
1124
00:59:37,031 --> 00:59:39,366
Ricky:
That is nasty.
1125
00:59:39,408 --> 00:59:43,328
Bubbles:
Dirty old fucking seadog.
1126
00:59:43,370 --> 00:59:45,581
Ricky:
Yes!
1127
00:59:45,622 --> 00:59:57,384
Julian: That was - that was
very lovely. Cerica? Cerica.
You're fucking amazing.
1128
00:59:57,426 --> 01:00:01,555
Ricky: That was-that was
impressive. I could not have
fucking done that.
1129
01:00:01,597 --> 01:00:02,681
Julian: That's a good Irish
girl right there.
1130
01:00:02,723 --> 01:00:04,892
Ricky:
So is she the winner, Bubbles?
1131
01:00:04,934 --> 01:00:09,354
Bubbles: No. Just wait. You guys
both got to run a competition. I
want to run a competition.
1132
01:00:09,396 --> 01:00:11,023
Ricky:
What the fuck?
1133
01:00:11,065 --> 01:00:11,899
Julian:
But-but she won.
1134
01:00:11,941 --> 01:00:13,233
Get all that shit out of there.
1135
01:00:13,275 --> 01:00:15,360
All right Cory and Trevor,
let's go. Get this..
1136
01:00:15,402 --> 01:00:18,238
Julian: Good hustle Trev,
good hustle.
1137
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:23,953
This is a competition I
like to play sometimes. This is
the best game ever I think.
1138
01:00:23,994 --> 01:00:25,161
Is that cat litter?
1139
01:00:25,203 --> 01:00:29,249
Yeah. We're gonna play bobbing
for turds.
1140
01:00:29,291 --> 01:00:35,464
Bubs, you can't make them
bob for fucking cat turds.
That's disgusting.
1141
01:00:35,505 --> 01:00:38,216
No Ricky, they're just
little fucking chocolate bars I
got at Halloween. Look.
1142
01:00:38,258 --> 01:00:41,261
You just put them in there like
that.
1143
01:00:41,303 --> 01:00:44,264
Ricky:
What are the rules here?
1144
01:00:44,306 --> 01:00:47,142
Bubbles: It's pretty, it's a
pretty simple game. I don't
know.
1145
01:00:47,183 --> 01:00:49,979
I can't believe you guys have
never played this.
1146
01:00:50,020 --> 01:00:54,399
Do you guys know the game pin
the tail on the donkey? Fuck
that game.
1147
01:00:54,441 --> 01:00:59,237
This is the new pin the tail on
the donkey. All you do is you
keep your hands at your sides.
1148
01:00:59,279 --> 01:01:03,659
When I say go you stick
your face in, you grab one,
spit it here.
1149
01:01:03,700 --> 01:01:07,287
The first one to spit five
out is the winner. That's
as easy as it is.
1150
01:01:07,329 --> 01:01:12,417
But I'm just gonna warn you,
Cory, Trevor, crouch down over
there and count them off as
1151
01:01:12,459 --> 01:01:16,922
they come out. I now it
sounds-I know it sounds crazy
but believe me when I say go
1152
01:01:16,964 --> 01:01:19,424
you will not believe
the fucking flurry of turds.
1153
01:01:19,466 --> 01:01:23,762
Ricky: Maybe we can put one of
you dicks on each side of the
table. No, Bubs? I don't know.
1154
01:01:23,804 --> 01:01:26,598
Yeah. Get over here.
1155
01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:28,017
Randy: Ah fuck! They're gonna be
in my way. Holy fuck!
1156
01:01:28,058 --> 01:01:29,434
Julian:
Like why'd you even say that?
1157
01:01:29,476 --> 01:01:30,853
Ricky:
Holy fuck!
1158
01:01:30,894 --> 01:01:33,689
Julian: Cory, get the fuck
over here.
1159
01:01:33,730 --> 01:01:35,190
Bubbles: Cory, get the fuck
over there.
1160
01:01:35,231 --> 01:01:36,692
Julian: Trevor, stay,
sit don't fucking move.
1161
01:01:36,733 --> 01:01:39,528
Randy: Get down lower, Cory, for
fuck sakes!
1162
01:01:39,569 --> 01:01:43,365
Ricky: How do you guys function
in the real world?
1163
01:01:43,406 --> 01:01:48,037
Bubbles: Okay. Are you girls
ready? Everybody know the
rules? We all down and we all,
1164
01:01:48,078 --> 01:01:58,714
we all down and we all
ready? Here we go. Three,
two, one. We got a misfire,
1165
01:01:58,755 --> 01:02:02,801
we got a misfire. One turd out,
one turd out and two, two, we
got two turds out. Two.
1166
01:02:02,843 --> 01:02:05,012
We got a misfire, misfire. Three
turds.
1167
01:02:05,054 --> 01:02:09,975
Julian: One more, one more, one
more, one more. Five right here.
Right here.
1168
01:02:10,017 --> 01:02:11,977
Bubbles:
No I think it was here.
1169
01:02:12,019 --> 01:02:18,525
Julian: No I-what are you
talking about? It was right
here.
1170
01:02:18,567 --> 01:02:25,574
Ah boys, Cory you weren't
counting it off right you
stupid bastards.
1171
01:02:25,615 --> 01:02:27,784
Now I don't know who
fucking won.
1172
01:02:27,826 --> 01:02:31,413
I told you we should have
invested in one of those cameras
they have at the horse track.
1173
01:02:31,454 --> 01:02:33,623
Julian: All right.
So who won here?
1174
01:02:33,665 --> 01:02:37,086
I don't know. The last two turds
were going like that and I-I
couldn't tell which one hit.
1175
01:02:37,127 --> 01:02:41,590
Julian: When in doubt, go back
to the liquor. There's three of
'em, three beer.
1176
01:02:41,631 --> 01:02:44,342
Ricky:
Oh Julian! What the fuck?
1177
01:02:44,384 --> 01:02:49,098
Julian: What do you mean what
the fuck?
1178
01:02:49,139 --> 01:02:50,432
Bubbles:
What is this?
1179
01:02:50,473 --> 01:02:51,307
Ricky:
More alcohol.
1180
01:02:51,349 --> 01:02:53,102
Julian:
A straight up chug.
1181
01:02:53,143 --> 01:02:57,606
Ricky: This should decide
everything. All right.
1182
01:02:57,647 --> 01:03:01,110
Julian: Okay. Ready ladies?
One, two, three, chug.
1183
01:03:01,151 --> 01:03:11,120
Audience: Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug!
1184
01:03:11,161 --> 01:03:14,081
Julian: What do you mean? What
the fuck? Come on. You're doing
great,
1185
01:03:14,123 --> 01:03:19,920
you're doing great. You guys are
pretty close. I think she's
winning. I think she's winning.
1186
01:03:19,962 --> 01:03:21,213
Ricky: This is gonna be a
photo finish.
1187
01:03:21,255 --> 01:03:22,547
Julian:
No, no more of a tilt.
1188
01:03:22,589 --> 01:03:25,050
Bubbles:
She's got more of a tilt.
1189
01:03:25,092 --> 01:03:31,431
Julian: Yeah totally. Come on
girls. Oh she's gonna throw
up. Keep it down, keep it down.
1190
01:03:31,473 --> 01:03:32,891
Use this if you have to.
1191
01:03:32,933 --> 01:03:34,977
Ricky: She's coming back, she's
coming back. No way.
1192
01:03:35,018 --> 01:03:37,562
Bubbles:
She's coming back with...
1193
01:03:37,604 --> 01:03:44,153
Ricky:
Like Sea Biscuit.
1194
01:03:47,197 --> 01:03:50,951
That was close.
I don't know.
1195
01:03:50,993 --> 01:03:53,954
Can you stand?
Are you able to stand?
1196
01:03:53,996 --> 01:03:55,664
Yes
1197
01:03:55,705 --> 01:04:01,503
Are you able to stand or?
Come here out here. Come
here. Come here.
1198
01:04:01,544 --> 01:04:09,261
I'd like to introduce everybody
to Dublin's best party girl.
1199
01:04:09,303 --> 01:04:14,266
Yeah! What's your name again?
I'm just joking.
1200
01:04:14,308 --> 01:04:17,602
Julian: DId a great job ladies.
Well done, well done.
1201
01:04:17,644 --> 01:04:19,938
Ricky: Boys, come over here for
a second.
1202
01:04:19,980 --> 01:04:20,814
Julian:
See ya ladies.
1203
01:04:20,856 --> 01:04:27,487
Ricky:
Thank you.
1204
01:04:27,529 --> 01:04:28,488
Julian:
Hands down.
1205
01:04:35,745 --> 01:04:39,541
Julian: Give me a big kiss.
Hands down Trev, give me the
fucking shirt...
1206
01:04:39,582 --> 01:04:43,295
Bubbles: You know what boys?
Here. Give me one.
You fucking dummy.
1207
01:04:43,337 --> 01:04:47,174
Ricky: I knew you were
going to do that Mike.
1208
01:04:47,216 --> 01:04:50,468
All right go back there and
take that shit off guys.
Go back and get drunk.
1209
01:04:50,510 --> 01:04:52,387
Let's hear it for those
two dummies.
1210
01:04:52,428 --> 01:04:55,224
They were pretty good.
1211
01:04:55,265 --> 01:04:58,227
Bubbles: They were kind of
fucked Julian to be honest.
1212
01:04:58,268 --> 01:04:59,811
Big time.
1213
01:04:59,853 --> 01:05:01,479
Oh boys. You know what?
1214
01:05:01,521 --> 01:05:02,522
Is that it? Are we done?
1215
01:05:02,564 --> 01:05:03,481
No. You know what?
1216
01:05:03,523 --> 01:05:04,900
Ricky:
What?
1217
01:05:04,941 --> 01:05:07,319
Just wait. Those guys are
hip-I never even thought.
1218
01:05:07,361 --> 01:05:09,154
Julian:
Wait. What are you doing?
1219
01:05:09,196 --> 01:05:11,073
Ricky:
Oh I get it...
1220
01:05:11,114 --> 01:05:12,866
Audience Member:
What the fuck?
1221
01:05:12,908 --> 01:05:17,162
Oh fucking Donnie's here. Is he?
1222
01:05:17,204 --> 01:05:19,748
Audience Member:
Dirty Dancer!
1223
01:05:19,789 --> 01:05:26,880
Julian: Shut the fuck up with
that. It doesn't make any sense.
1224
01:05:26,922 --> 01:05:29,007
I look nothing like
Patrick Swayze.
1225
01:05:29,049 --> 01:05:33,845
I'd like to sing this for
ya. This is a song I sing
back home at the legion.
1226
01:05:33,887 --> 01:05:47,025
This is a song about my two
favourite things. Hahaha,
liquor and whores.
1227
01:05:47,067 --> 01:05:58,078
♪ Liquor and whores, liquor and
whores. Cigarettes and dope and
mustard and bologna, ♪
1228
01:05:58,120 --> 01:06:08,130
♪ liquor and whores. When I was
down drinkin' at the Legion,
I met a girl she was nice, ♪
1229
01:06:08,171 --> 01:06:13,135
♪ liquor and whores. When I was
down drinkin' at the Legion,
I met a girl she was nice, ♪
1230
01:06:13,176 --> 01:06:24,604
♪ she was pretty and
pleasing. She said "Hey boy, we
should do some marrying" ♪
1231
01:06:24,646 --> 01:06:32,404
♪ and I said sure but
before we do there's something
that you should know. ♪
1232
01:06:32,446 --> 01:06:40,745
♪ I like liquor and
whores, liquor and whores. ♪
1233
01:06:40,787 --> 01:06:44,333
♪ Cigarettes and dope and
mustard and bologna, ♪
1234
01:06:44,374 --> 01:06:54,384
♪ liquor and whores. Ah do do
do badad do doo ooh. And then
one night down at the Legion ♪
1235
01:06:54,426 --> 01:07:09,107
♪ liquor and whores. Ah do do
do badad do doo ooh. And then
one night down at the Legion ♪
1236
01:07:09,149 --> 01:07:21,203
♪ she walked in. I was drunk
on gin dancing with a lady
friend. My wife said hey boy, ♪
1237
01:07:21,244 --> 01:07:30,295
♪ you better fly the fuck home
but I said no because of five
little words I could have swore ♪
1238
01:07:30,337 --> 01:07:40,514
♪ I said to you. That I
like liquor and whores.
Liquor and whores. ♪
1239
01:07:40,555 --> 01:07:47,020
♪ Cigarettes and dope and
mustard and bologna, liquor
and whores. Come on. ♪
1240
01:07:47,062 --> 01:07:48,397
♪ Let's hear you, Dublin. ♪
1241
01:07:48,438 --> 01:07:55,320
♪ Crowd: Liquor and whores.
Liquor and whores. ♪
1242
01:07:55,362 --> 01:08:00,992
♪ Bubbles: Cigarettes and dope d
mustard and bologna liquor and
come on. ♪
1243
01:08:01,034 --> 01:08:10,419
♪ Get up on your feet for a
minute. Liquor and whores,
liquor and whores. ♪
1244
01:08:10,460 --> 01:08:20,178
♪ Cigarettes and dope and mustad
and bologna liquor and whores.
All right yeah, keep it goin'.♪
1245
01:08:20,220 --> 01:08:31,356
♪ Cigarettes and dope
and mustard and bologna liquor
and whores. ♪
1246
01:08:31,398 --> 01:08:40,698
♪ All right I like liquor
and whores, liquor and
whores, here we go! ♪
1247
01:08:40,740 --> 01:08:47,289
♪ Cigarettes and dope... ♪
1248
01:08:47,330 --> 01:08:49,874
♪ Dope, dope, dope,
dope,dope... ♪
1249
01:08:49,916 --> 01:08:51,751
Ricky fuck off!
1250
01:08:51,793 --> 01:08:55,589
Thank you, thank you. Doobie-lin
for a wonderful, wonderful
delicious dope.
1251
01:08:55,630 --> 01:08:59,259
That was my big finale you're
only one serving of dope.
1252
01:08:59,301 --> 01:09:03,305
Well one's not enough you
need at least fucking ten.
1253
01:09:03,346 --> 01:09:13,356
♪ Cigarettes and dope and
mustard and bologna and liquor
and whores. ♪
1254
01:09:13,398 --> 01:09:21,739
♪ Cigarettes and dope and
mustard and bologna and liquor
and whores. ♪
1255
01:09:25,994 --> 01:09:35,211
Liquor and whores!
1256
01:09:38,965 --> 01:09:41,759
Right on Bubs.
1257
01:09:41,801 --> 01:09:45,180
See that? Play some Rush this
guy's saying?
1258
01:09:45,221 --> 01:09:48,183
Julian:
Do it up Bubs.
1259
01:09:48,224 --> 01:09:53,813
Recently inducted into the
fucking rock and roll hall of
fame.
1260
01:09:56,816 --> 01:10:02,989
Julian:
Right on Bubs.
1261
01:10:17,671 --> 01:10:28,306
♪ And the men who hold
high places Must be the
ones to start ♪
1262
01:10:28,348 --> 01:10:38,525
♪ To mold a new reality
Closer to the Heart, come
on! Closer to the Heart ♪
1263
01:10:38,567 --> 01:10:40,652
Julian:
Yeah
1264
01:10:40,694 --> 01:10:48,368
♪ The Blacksmiths and the Artit
Reflect it in their art ♪
1265
01:10:48,410 --> 01:10:51,913
Fuck off. That is fucking
Conky and you know it.
1266
01:10:51,954 --> 01:10:55,333
It's not Conky that's fucking
Geddy Lee baby.
1267
01:10:55,375 --> 01:11:03,675
♪ Philosophers and Ploughmen
Each must know his part ♪
1268
01:11:03,717 --> 01:11:10,682
♪ To sow a new mentality
Closer to the Heart ♪
1269
01:11:10,724 --> 01:11:12,058
I'm gonna fucking snap.
1270
01:11:12,100 --> 01:11:14,561
♪ Closer to the heart! ♪
1271
01:11:14,603 --> 01:11:15,604
Julian:
Geddy Lee
1272
01:11:15,645 --> 01:11:21,735
Ricky:
Fucking. Fuck!
1273
01:11:21,817 --> 01:11:24,195
Ricky fucking went and
ruined it.
1274
01:11:24,237 --> 01:11:25,530
Julian:
Nice going Rick.
1275
01:11:25,572 --> 01:11:27,574
Bubbles:
Ricky ruined it.
1276
01:11:34,122 --> 01:11:36,291
Would you settle the
fuck down?
1277
01:11:36,332 --> 01:11:37,250
Who's Geddy Lee?
1278
01:11:37,292 --> 01:11:38,251
Julian:
I'll fuckin'. Let's go.
1279
01:11:38,293 --> 01:11:40,044
Bubbles:
No, no Ricky ruined it.
1280
01:11:40,086 --> 01:11:45,383
No, just wait. 'Member
the-they're all hypnotized still
I got to do the-
1281
01:11:45,425 --> 01:11:47,677
I got to do the
brain thing...
1282
01:11:47,719 --> 01:11:51,222
You know what? I was gonna say
we should play the video to make
them feel normal but fuck it.
1283
01:11:51,264 --> 01:11:53,308
No, no. I found the
1284
01:11:53,349 --> 01:11:55,184
Oh you found it?
1285
01:11:55,226 --> 01:11:58,062
I found it. Julian, I'm not
joking. I went on the fucking
world pipe.
1286
01:11:58,104 --> 01:12:02,984
I typed in brain
reconfuckulation video and bing
bong there it was.
1287
01:12:03,025 --> 01:12:05,111
Julian: All right then let's get
that going then.
1288
01:12:05,153 --> 01:12:07,989
Nice. Where's Randy? Don't let
fucking Randy watch it. I want
to keep him hippotized.
1289
01:12:08,030 --> 01:12:09,741
I'll make sure he stays
back here.
1290
01:12:09,783 --> 01:12:10,575
Keep him back there.
1291
01:12:10,617 --> 01:12:12,452
So he fucking listens!
1292
01:12:12,494 --> 01:12:16,080
I can-I can I make it
ah I can explain it to everybody
if you want to go
1293
01:12:16,122 --> 01:12:18,291
All right. Good.
1294
01:12:18,333 --> 01:12:25,590
Good I wanted to get rid of
those dick weeds anyway. So
basically I'm just gonna get you
1295
01:12:25,632 --> 01:12:29,969
to watch this video and I'm
gonna count down and when we get
to zero the guy with the lights
1296
01:12:30,011 --> 01:12:34,182
he's gonna snap all the lights
on as bright as you can,
just like flicking
1297
01:12:34,223 --> 01:12:38,144
a switch at the house and you
just look at the person next to
you or just pick a point
1298
01:12:38,186 --> 01:12:43,858
in the distance and just be like
hi there. And that's basically
all you gotta do so if
1299
01:12:43,899 --> 01:12:49,947
we can dim the lights right now
a little bit so that we can -
this is the video here.
1300
01:12:49,989 --> 01:12:55,787
It's gonna come up here. I
think it's from the fifties
or something.
1301
01:12:55,829 --> 01:13:01,125
It's gonna start here so
basically I just need you to -
1302
01:13:01,167 --> 01:13:04,838
I just need you to stare ino
the centre of this thing.
1303
01:13:04,879 --> 01:13:12,136
Just let your mind relax. You're
floatin' back. I'm gonna count
down from five,
1304
01:13:12,178 --> 01:13:21,813
staring into the centre, four,
staring into the centre as the
centre collapses in on itself.
1305
01:13:21,855 --> 01:13:31,489
Three, relax and let your mind
go. Two, just keep staring right
into the fucking centre
1306
01:13:31,531 --> 01:13:39,163
of that dirty whore and
zero. Snap on the lights
please and everybody just look
1307
01:13:39,205 --> 01:13:45,754
feeling your brain moving
around in your head,
repositioning itself.
1308
01:13:45,795 --> 01:13:47,547
Ricky:
Nice.
1309
01:13:47,589 --> 01:13:49,841
And that should be about it.
1310
01:13:49,883 --> 01:13:51,342
Ah that's kinda fucked
up right?
1311
01:13:51,384 --> 01:13:54,053
Pretty trippy feeling.
1312
01:13:54,095 --> 01:13:56,222
Bubbles: Oh fuck, hang on boys.
I'll be back in a second.
1313
01:13:56,264 --> 01:13:58,307
Julian:
All right.
1314
01:13:58,349 --> 01:14:03,563
Ricky: This is wicked. I don't
remember getting here but-I
think I had a good time.
1315
01:14:07,734 --> 01:14:13,197
Conky: Hello Ricky. Heeheeheeii
1316
01:14:13,239 --> 01:14:16,033
Ricky: You fucking asshole.
1317
01:14:16,075 --> 01:14:17,911
Julian:
Bubbles, what are you doing?
1318
01:14:17,952 --> 01:14:21,080
Ricky: Where the fuck is that
little bastard? Where the fuck
did he go?
1319
01:14:21,122 --> 01:14:22,540
Julian:
Bubs, you've got a date tonight.
1320
01:14:22,582 --> 01:14:25,376
Julian he just wanted to
come out to say goodnight.
1321
01:14:25,418 --> 01:14:26,544
Well say goodnight then.
1322
01:14:26,586 --> 01:14:28,713
Ricky: Oh you fucking asshole.
1323
01:14:28,755 --> 01:14:32,049
What's going on Ricky?
You fucking idiot!
1324
01:14:32,091 --> 01:14:34,218
Frig off Conky.
1325
01:14:34,260 --> 01:14:37,388
Ah fuck you Randy!
Heeheehee!
1326
01:14:37,430 --> 01:14:38,640
Bubs
1327
01:14:38,681 --> 01:14:40,642
How the fuck do you keep
coming back to life?
1328
01:14:40,683 --> 01:14:44,228
'Cuz I don't need oxygen to live
like you do, you fucking idiot.
1329
01:14:44,270 --> 01:14:45,897
Julian:
Bubs, say goodnight.
1330
01:14:45,939 --> 01:14:47,482
Bubbles: Okay. He's
just saying goodnight.
1331
01:14:47,523 --> 01:14:49,066
Ricky: Bubbles, listen to me
right now.
1332
01:14:49,108 --> 01:14:53,237
As my friend let me fight him
one on one. You just step aside.
1333
01:14:53,279 --> 01:14:55,114
Bubbles:
Ricky, no.
1334
01:14:55,156 --> 01:14:56,240
Julian:
Just say goodnight.
1335
01:14:56,282 --> 01:14:57,241
Bubbles: He's just gonna
say goodnight.
1336
01:14:57,283 --> 01:14:58,952
This is just between me
and Conky.
1337
01:14:58,993 --> 01:15:02,246
How many fucking cheeseburgers
did you drive in yourself,
Randy?
1338
01:15:02,288 --> 01:15:04,499
I switched to chicken, Bubbles.
1339
01:15:04,540 --> 01:15:06,584
What are you looking at Ricky
you stupid fuck face!
1340
01:15:06,626 --> 01:15:07,502
Julian:
Ricky just...
1341
01:15:07,543 --> 01:15:08,586
Ricky:
Bubbles!
1342
01:15:08,628 --> 01:15:11,756
Just one fucking punch.
1343
01:15:11,798 --> 01:15:12,924
Say goodnight. Please.
1344
01:15:12,966 --> 01:15:14,509
Just one fucking punch Conky.
1345
01:15:14,550 --> 01:15:15,844
Julian:
Say goodnight.
1346
01:15:15,885 --> 01:15:17,470
Conky: Just give us a little
kiss, Julian.
1347
01:15:17,512 --> 01:15:18,972
Julian:
Bubs, I'm not kissing a
puppet.
1348
01:15:19,013 --> 01:15:25,269
Conky: ♪ Oh my Julian. ♪
1349
01:15:25,311 --> 01:15:26,604
He doesn't bother me Bubs.
1350
01:15:26,646 --> 01:15:27,939
Hey, you like that?
1351
01:15:27,981 --> 01:15:33,862
Conky: ♪ My handsome
Julian. Patrick Swayze. ♪
1352
01:15:33,903 --> 01:15:42,871
♪ You're so fucking sexy in
Roadhouse and fucking Dirty
Dancing. Hahahahaha! ♪
1353
01:15:42,912 --> 01:15:44,706
Julian:
Say goodnight.
1354
01:15:44,747 --> 01:15:48,292
Fucking goodnight Dublin. Thank
you guys so much for coming out.
1355
01:15:48,334 --> 01:15:49,502
Julian:
Thanks Dublin.
1356
01:16:25,580 --> 01:16:32,503
Bubbles: Let me off this fucking
thing. Let me off. Thank you
very much, sir.
1357
01:16:32,545 --> 01:16:35,006
Oh thank you god.
1358
01:16:35,048 --> 01:16:36,424
What the fuck you doing, Bubs?
Eating rocks?
1359
01:16:36,465 --> 01:16:38,843
I'm kissing the ground, Ricky.
I'm happy to be home.
1360
01:16:38,885 --> 01:16:40,011
We made it buddy.
1361
01:16:42,221 --> 01:16:44,599
Hey. It's the boys.
How's it going, fellas?
1362
01:16:44,640 --> 01:16:45,850
Hey. How's it going, man?
1363
01:16:45,892 --> 01:16:46,935
What the fuck's going on?
1364
01:16:46,976 --> 01:16:48,185
Where are you
boys coming in from?
1365
01:16:48,227 --> 01:16:49,687
Julian:
Ireland.
1366
01:16:49,729 --> 01:16:52,440
Right on. And what was the
purpose of your trip?
1367
01:16:52,481 --> 01:16:59,238
We actually went over to see
Rush play and got a little mixed
up and we missed the show.
1368
01:16:59,280 --> 01:17:01,240
Ah shitty.
1369
01:17:01,282 --> 01:17:03,534
I see you're coming back in
private though so I guess
it couldn't be that bad.
1370
01:17:03,576 --> 01:17:07,371
Yeah except in Doobie-lin
Ironland private doesn't
mean fucking private.
1371
01:17:07,413 --> 01:17:08,205
I go over there
1372
01:17:08,247 --> 01:17:10,124
Julian:
Ricky!
1373
01:17:10,165 --> 01:17:13,878
Ricky! Ricky! Let's just go
bud, okay? Just get her
stamped and move along.
1374
01:17:13,920 --> 01:17:14,963
Sure man.
1375
01:17:15,004 --> 01:17:16,213
Welcome back to Canada
anyway fellas.
1376
01:17:16,255 --> 01:17:16,965
Thanks guys.
1377
01:17:17,006 --> 01:17:18,716
Thank you, sir.
1378
01:17:18,758 --> 01:17:20,593
Hey Ricky, you didn't happen to
bring any dope back with ya did
ya?
1379
01:17:20,635 --> 01:17:25,098
Well yeah I did but just the
same amount that I took over
there with me
1380
01:17:25,139 --> 01:17:32,855
so that would cancel out, right?
No was that-that's a rule
or am I making that up?
1381
01:17:59,841 --> 01:18:07,431
♪ And the men who hold
high places
Must be the ones who start ♪
1382
01:18:07,473 --> 01:18:18,026
♪ To mold a new reality
Closer to the Heart
Closer to the Heart ♪
1383
01:18:18,067 --> 01:18:24,866
♪ The Blacksmith and the Artist
Reflect it in their art ♪
1384
01:18:24,907 --> 01:18:31,122
♪ They forge their creativity
Closer to the Heart ♪
1385
01:18:31,164 --> 01:18:35,168
♪ Yeah, it's closer to
the Heart ♪
1386
01:18:41,883 --> 01:18:45,053
♪ Philosophers and Ploughmen ♪
1387
01:18:45,094 --> 01:18:51,726
♪ Each must know his part
To sow a new mentality ♪
1388
01:18:51,767 --> 01:18:59,775
♪ Closer to the Heart
Yeah, it's closer to the Heart
Yeah! ♪
1389
01:19:44,237 --> 01:19:51,244
♪ You can be the Captain and
I will draw the Chart ♪
1390
01:19:51,285 --> 01:19:57,541
♪ Sailing into destiny
Closer to the Heart ♪
1391
01:19:57,583 --> 01:20:04,548
♪ Closer to the Heart well
Closer to the heart, yeah! ♪
1392
01:20:04,590 --> 01:20:10,596
♪ Closer to the heart
closer to the heart ♪
1393
01:20:10,638 --> 01:20:16,811
♪ I said closer to the heart
well closer to the heart ♪
1394
01:20:16,852 --> 01:20:25,861
♪ Yeah, closer to your heart
closer to your heart whoa! ♪
123842
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