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Zulu
Hi! I'm Patrick Star!
And I live with my parents!
Ow!
This is my dad!
This is my mom! [chuckles]
[giggles] This is my sister! She's shy.
This is my grandpa!
This is my room!
And this...
? quirky music playing ?
This is my show!
??
[Patrick humming]
? Goin' to the swimmin' hole ?
? Goin' to the swimmin' hole ?
? Goin' down to take a little swim ?
[hums]
? Going on a trip down to the place ?
? Where I can take a dip ?
? Here I am It's time to jump on in ?
[crashes]
? And many more ?
Alley-oop!
[burbling]
My golf ball!
-Right in the goo trap! -[burbles]
Barnacles!
I'll never get outta here under par.
[sighs] After all my big talk,
the guys are gonna laugh at me!
Wait, what am I saying?
Get a hold of yourself, man!
-You are a doctor. -? determined music plays
I can do this.
I'm a medical professional.
I've removed all kinds of objects
from all kinds of places.
Ooh!
? music fades out ?
[splutters]
? And now I'm done ?
? sneaky music plays ?
[zipper zips]
[gasps] Oh, yeah, I drove here.
Huh?
White coat?
Mirror thingy?
Whatcha-call-it?
Oh yeah!
I forgot I'm a doctor.
Ow! Get a hold of yourself, Patrick!
You gotta remember this stuff.
Yep! Off to doctoring!
[engine rumbles]
[tires screech]
[humming]
-[thud] -[grunts]
? whimsical music plays ?
[humming]
[choking]
Help! Help! We need a doctor!
? music turns heroic ?
Someone call a doctor?
[choking]
Dr. Patrick will see you now!
Thank goodness you're here! My friend is choking!
Can you help him?
Of course I can!
You think they let just any idiot wear one of these?
-Fore! -[groans]
-Fore! -[grunts]
-[grunts] -Fore!
[whistling descent]
[applause]
Wow! Hole in one! Thanks, Dr. Patrick!
Just doing my job.
[Patrick humming]
-Huh? What the...? -[tires screech]
-? tense musical stinger -Sweet Neptune!
This man has been cut to pieces.
I can rebuild him.
? tense music playing ?
Can I help you?
Yes!
Get me some butcher paper,
500 CCs of steak sauce,
a stapler, and if you can find one,
I'm gonna need a miracle.
Stat!
Uh, yes, doctor. Right away.
? dramatic music playing ?
How's it look, Doc?
Not good, nurse. We're running out of time.
Stapler!
[grunts]
Steak sauce.
[sighs]
-[bottle shatters] -Okay.
We're looking good here.
Come on, Meat Person.
Don't you die on me, buddy!
Oh! No pulse.
I'm going to try mousy-mouth re-suffocation!
[inhales deeply]
[squelching]
? somber music playing ?
-[gasps] -We did all we could.
Goodnight, sweet... [smacks lips]
...and salty prince.
-[bell tolls] -[door opens]
This part of the job never gets easier.
? music fades out ?
But it's just meat, though.
-[gurgles] -? eerie musical sting ?
[screaming]
? ominous music playing ?
[growling]
? music fades abruptly ?
? somber music plays ?
Oh, Meat Person, you never had a chance!
I'll never forget you!
[wailing]
? Waiting, waiting I love waiting ?
[sobs]
[screams, whimpers]
[gasps]
? suspenseful music playing ?
? music stops ?
SpongeBob, are you okay?
100% injury-free!
-Ah! What's this?! -? tense musical stinger ?
Oh, that's just a tiny paper cut from last week.
No, SpongeBob, this is serious!
We gotta get you to a hospital!
[imitates ambulance siren]
-[phone ringing] -Uh, Patrick?
-Your doctor bag is ringing. -[Patrick] Thank you, Stella!
Mister Doctor Patrick Star.
Where are you?! It's time to start today's show!
Sorry, Squidina, I'm heading into emergency surgery
right now.
I can work with that!
Transition to title sequence!
The Patrick ShowPresents:
- Dr. Star M.D.! -? dramatic theme platys ?
[machine beeping]
Hmm... [slurps]
Patient's vitals taste normal.
Nurse, one dose of boba, please,
-Just to be safe. -Yes, Dr. Star.
-This may cause mild lumpiness. -? dramatic music playing ?
Another dose of boba?!
Dr. Star, I've warned you about your unconventional methods!
My methods get results.
What are yours?
Sending the patient home
in a shellacked wooden box?
Uh, no.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I need to talk to a mother who's about to lose her son.
Isn't there anything you can do for my sweet little sponge?
There is one operation we could try.
But it is the riskiest procedure ever attempted.
But I thought I just had a paper cut.
Exactly!
Time to scrub in.
? dramatic music plays
Now, let's see what's going on in here.
Oh dear. No!
No! Claw grabber!
Wish me luck.
[grunts] Ah! [groans]
Just look at all that!
Nasty!
Hm, I would've thought I needed that stuff.
What's this now?
Net.
[grunts, screams]
[muffled grunts]
Gah! This infection is very aggressive!
There must be something you can do, Doctor!
This will require laser treatment.
[laser whirring]
[laughing]
That's it. Come to Papa.
Muh-mow!
Gary! Okay, buddy.
You officially win this round of hide-and-seek.
[meows]
[voice echoes] Looks like you're all cleaned out!
Now let's check on that boo-boo.
[gasps]
This is the toughest case of my career!
There's the guy who stole my golf cart!
-Hmm... -[Doctor Man] Hey, you!
I'm gonna get you!
Do you mind, sir? This is a hospital.
Good. 'Cause you're gonna need one.
[screams] I gotta hide!
Wait. That's not in the script!
[grunting]
It's over, ya little pink fraud!
Eh. I can work with that!
[laughs nervously] I don't see any pink frauds.
Is that so?
? Goin' to the swimmin' hole ?
[screams]
[grunts]
[SpongeBob pants] Patrick! Wait!
You're gonna- Whoa!
[audience screams]
[grumbling]
[screams, grunts]
Why are you so mad at me?!
Because you're no doctor!
-[Patrick whimpers] -[Meat Person growls]
? tense musical stinger ?
-[Doctor Man grunts] -Meat Person?
-[Meat Person snarls] -[Doctor Man groans]
He's the best doctor!
[screams]
Gee whiz! I'm just trying to get my doctor stuff back!
-? gentle music playing -You saved my life, doc!
Meat Person! You're alive!
Excuse me.
Am I to understand that youfashioned
this living creature out of mere butchered meat?
Sure did!
This is my medical license.
I'm signing it over to you.
You are a genius.
Does this mean I get to keep the golf cart?
[TV announcer] Tune in next week for moreDr. Star, M.D.!
-[tires screech] -[crashes]
[police sirens blaring]
??
[Squidina] Time to triple check
my slumber party list!
Is there anything I'm missing?
Leaning tower of pizza? Check!
-[radio playing dance music] -Dance music? Check!
[giggles] Practical jokes?
Checkaroonie.
Oh, most importantly...
pillows for the pillow fight!
Everything's ready for a legendary slumber party!
Ooh! I'm so excited for you and Pearl!
Our little girl's throwing her first slumber party
all by herself!
They grow up so fast!
-[rings] -It's Pearl!
Calling to tell me she's on her way!
Hey, Pearl!
Hey, Squidina, I can't come over.
Wha?!
My dad's molting again
and he needs me to rub butter all over his soft shell.
-But-but- -I'm really sorry
but duty calls.
-Bye. -[beeps]
Buh-bye.
[chokes up] I-I'm okay!
It's not like some kind of devastating setback
to my social development
that will also crush my young vulnerable heart!
-I'll be fine! -? melodramatic music playing ?
[cries]
Hey, can I get a pool in my room too?
-[spits] So what's her problem? -[water splashes]
It'll be okay, sweetie!
Say, I know what'll cheer you up.
A classic family movie!
Sir Urchin and Snail Fail Meet Plankenstein!
I hate that movie!
Why, you!
What did I do?
I'll help you eat your pizzas.
Oh.
I could always just put you outta your misery!
That's awfully sweet of you, GrandPat.
But none of this stuff will make me feel better.
Oh, I know!
We can have our own sleepover!
With the whole family!
-Oh, great idea, hon! -Yeah!
-Eh, I guess. -Uh, yeah.
Just one teeny problem.
We live together
so we technically have a sleepover
every night.
Yes, but it's not every night
that we have a...
[in unison] Slumber party!
[grunts, laughs]
Actually, being put out of my misery
doesn't sound so bad.
[Patrick] Hey!
Let's move this shindig
down to the living room!
What do we do first?
I'll get the board games!
I'll get the pillows!
I'll get the slumber.
[snores]
And I'll get depression.
Let's get this party started with a dance-off!
-[air horn blows] -[screams]
Hit it, Bunny!
Hitting it! [grunts]
-[radio playing dance music] -[cheering, laughing]
[sighs]
Ooh, nice twist, GrandPat!
You still have some dancin' in ya!
Dancing?
I'm just trying to re-align my hip!
[strains]
[sighs]
[babbling]
[music stops]
Oh. Well.
Look at the time, 7 p.m. already.
I oughta go to bed.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Squidina!
I'm sure we can hunt down some fun for you at our next event:
the scavenger hunt!
[groans] Fine.
On your mark, get set, hunt!
? lively action music plays ?
[grunting]
Nothing here!
Or in here!
Did you find anything, GrandPat!?
Nothing over here!
[in squeaky voice] Whoa! Or in here!
Wait. Don't scavenger hunts usually start with clues?
Clues? Where's the thrill in that?!
The scavenger hunt would be too easy.
Aha! Found one.
A scavenger!
Evening, folks!
[chomps, munches]
[grunts]
Hey, I found one under the floorboards!
? "Toccata and Fugue in D minor" plays ?
For my collection.
-[giggles] -? song fades out ?
Finally! I found one!
Dad, I don't think that's a scavenger.
That's a Scandinavian.
[Viking speaks Norwegian]
Looks like he's both!
Dad, please, I appreciate this
-but it's not working out! -? melancholy music playing ?
I'd rather cry myself to sleep in a waterbed of my own tears.
Aw, Squidina, come on.
Why cry there
when you can cry here?
I even got plenty of paper to blow your nose!
-Toilet paper? -? goofy music plays ?
Don't get too greedy 'cause we're gonna need
-some of it for... -[toilet flushes]
...pranks!
-[giggles] -Whose house is this for?
A bunch of jerks I've been waitin' to get for years!
[laughs] Those chuckleheads won't know what hit 'em!
[laughing]
? "The Sleeping Beauty Ballet Suite" plays ?
[sighs] Of course.
-Our house. -Yah!
[slurps] Huh?
[barks]
[whooshing]
[barks]
[in unison] Aw, Tinkle!
-[Tinkle hacking] -? suspenseful music plays ?
-[in unison] Duck and cover! -Huh?
-[Tinkle retches] -? music fades out ?
Now can we call it a night?
Oh, not yet, Squidina.
-We still haven't told... -? eerie music plays ?
...scary stories.
Alright, scaredy snails...
open your ear holes!
[thunder crashes]
One dark and stormy night,
a sad and lonely little girl was playing
in a puddle in her backyard.
[laughter]
Away from her overbearing family.
[GrandPat] When suddenly,
she heard a mysterious sound
coming from inside the old tool shed.
[whimpers]
[GrandPat] So she wandered in to investigate.
Ooh! Me next! I'll keep the story going!
The little girl shook with horror.
No one had cleaned the shed for years.
[yelps]
There were dust bunnies
in every nook and cranny,
cobwebs hanging from the shelves.
There was mildew forming on the shower curtain!
There's a bathtub in the shed?
Real scary, Mom.
I know! Your turn, Cecil.
Thanks, hun.
Without warning,
a large silhouette emerged,
bearing the shape of a horrifying, bloodsucking...
-Bat. -[Cecil] No!
A mustache!
-[snarls] -[screams]
[Squidina pants]
-[whimpers] -[roars]
[Cecil] The little girl ran inside
and mustache-proofed the entire house.
[Squidina grunts]
[Cecil] But forgot to lock...
-[door creaks] -...the front door!
-[screams] -[lightning crashes]
As usual.
-[shudders] -Your turn, son.
Candy corn! Bu-bu-bubblegum!
Ha-ham and cheese and waffles!
[screams] I can't think! I'm too scared!
Okay, let's wrap this up.
Suddenly, the doorknob rattles...
-[thud] -Huh?!
Uh-uh, and then what happened, Squidina?
-And the door creaks open? -? suspenseful music plays ?
[creaks]
And something scary creeps in?
[thunder crashes]
[screaming]
-? music stops abruptly -Psych!
I finished with my dad's molting issues early
and I thought we could still have a sleepover!
[in unison] Phew!
I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
Oh, uh-uh, not at all.
I suppose Squidina wants to get back
to her original slumber party plan.
Let's get a move on, gang.
I guess I'll go to my room and stare at the wall.
[light bulb dings]
I really appreciate all you guys did for me tonight.
But there's one thing we forgot.
What's that, Squidina?
[grunting]
[both] Pillow fight!
[both grunt]
You asked for it!
? "1812 Overture" by Tchaikovsky playing ?
? song ends ?
This really was the best slumber party ever!
??
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