Original subtitles

Hi, I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents! Ow!

This is my dad!

This is my mom! [chuckles]

This is my sister! She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room!

And this...

This is my show!

[festive instrumental music plays]

[muttering]

[grunts]

[slurps]

[grunts]

Oh! Santa, please don't put me on the naughty list.

I- Oh, oh, it's just you.

Ooh, are you okay?

It took three consecutive all-nighters

and more coffee than a 3rd grader should ever drink,

but I finished my script for the school play just in time.

Ooh.

I wanna pretend to read it! Huh?

Sorry, Patrick, this is my only copy,

and if anything happened to it,

I'd probably fail [yawns] drama class.

So please... don't touch it.

Nudge. Nudge.

Oh, I hope Santa isn't watching.

He wouldn't mind if I took a little peek.

[giggles, murmurs]

[screams]

Gotta clean it, gotta clean it!

[gargles]

I'm sure it'll be fine once I dry it.

[blower whirs]

[gasps]

[grunts]

[snoring]

[growls]

Ooh!

That was almost a disaster.

-[shredding] -[screams]

[grunts] Ooh!

[exclaims]

-[snoring] -[grunts]

I can still fix this.

I can't believe it worked.

All fixed.

-[snores] -[explosion]

[Squidina] Fade out, end of dream.

Where am I? What's this?

[gasps]

The play! We're gonna be late.

Come on, Patrick. Let's go!

[audience chatters]

[sighs]

All right, class.

It looks like our illustrious playwright,

Squidina, is a no-show.

That's a failing grade for her.

And the audience does not sound happy.

We're not happy! We're not happy!

Wait!

[suspenseful music plays]

[grunts] Here's the author!

[pants] Sorry I'm late.

I had to make copies for everyone.

[Squidina] Learn your lines!

Good luck, everyone. [gasps] I mean, break a leg!

Where's Mr. Steinman? He's got to grade my play.

[groans] Let's just get this over with.

[giggles]

Oh! Our little girl's first play.

Oopsy!

My daughter is directing this play.

[chuckles] I only care about my own kids.

Toodle-oo!

Huh! I wish I had kids I cared about.

Now how the heck do I...?

Oh, right.

Testing.

Look, there she is. There she is.

[Bunny] Oh, our little director.

-I am so proud of her. -[beeping]

Huh. That's odd. Must've run out of time.

Better add more quarters to the meter.

Oh. Oh! Shh, shh! It's starting. It's starting.

[Cecil sputters]

? It's a holiday play ?

? It's a holiday play ?

[all] Aw!

Oh! They like it.

? And we're here to say ?

? It's a wonderful day ?

? We celebrate in different ways ?

? Like eating cake and mayonnaise ?

? We ride a goose and honk our horn ?

? And then we put some butter on the corn ?

[confused muttering]

Wait a minute, this isn't what I wrote.

What's going on?

Yeah, I may have done

a few punch-ups on your script.

You what?

? It's a hollandaise sauce ?

? It's a game of lacrosse ?

? It's some old dental floss ?

Well, let's just say it went through some adjustments.

There was some spilling. Some minor shredding...

? We pet our pickled octopus ?

Well, if that's what the director wants.

You shredded and rewrote my script?

? La la la la la la la la ?

Oh, yeah.

You know the first draft

always needs some polishing,

and sometimes welding.

[rocket combusting]

[all screaming]

[chuckles nervously] Oh!

Patrick. This play is 95% of my final grade

and all my actors are in orbit because of your script changes!

Now get in costume and help me fix this!

Well, that was a bomb.

F minus.

Wait! You can't give me an F!

[chuckles playfully]

Because we're just getting started.

And it's time for the next act.

Oh! [spits]

Hi, family. Hope you're enjoying the show.

Just gonna borrow GrandPat for a moment.

-What the-? -Just go with the flow.

-You'll be great. -Have you talked to my agent?

-[moans] -Five, six, seven, eight.

? It a holiday play ?

? Me love holiday

[chuckles] Yeah!

? I'm Father Time ?

? I'm the New Year's bay-bay ?

? So listen up ?

[both] ? To what we say ?

? We're gonna take you on a tour ?

? Through every single holiday! ?

Sweet Neptune. I hope this works.

As requested, the Easter Bunny reporting for duty.

How do I look?

Sorry, SpongeBob. Rewrites.

You're not the Easter Bunny anymore.

You're playing, uh, the other guy.

Go get some boots or something.

Aye-aye!

[Patrick] Introducing Groundhog Day!

Oh, no! My groundhog was on that bus!

[all screaming]

We need to recast the part.

Let's see. Groundhog. Groundhog. Don't mind me.

Aha! Sandy.

[Squidina whispers]

I'll do it!

-Thank you. -Oh!

Uh, now for the shadow.

[gasps] You!

[whispers]

Perch Perkins reporting, I'll do it.

Whoa!

Here, put this on.

Folks, I'm either participating

in a kids' play

or being kidnapped.

Stay tuned.

The most important part of Groundhog Day

is picking the perfect hog to grind.

That ain't what Groundhog Day is all about, you clodhopper.

[grunts]

I'll tell you the history.

Groundhog Day has origins in European weather folklore.

-And- -Ahem. The script...

Oh. Okay.

It's where a groundhog's shadow

doesn't want winter to end

so it, um...

Huh?

"...challenges the groundhog

to single combat"?

[martial arts grunts]

[Perch] News flash! Your time in the sun is over.

Oh! Spring's not going down without a fight.

This just in: it's on!

-[Sandy] Hai-yah! -[scuffling]

[Perch] Breaking news!

You mean, breaking nose!

[grunting, scuffling]

How about some shadow boxing?

Six more weeks of pain.

[grunting, scuffling]

Time to spring forward!

And just like that, winter was over.

Hey! My shadow's supposed to be following me.

Whoa-oh-a-oh!

And that's where sausage comes from.

-Oh! Oh! Ow! -[crashing thud]

Oh, come on, why isn't this thing working?

[grunting, groaning]

[angry grumbling]

Pay attention now or you'll miss my little boy.

[gasps] Isn't he talented?

I can't make heads or tails of this dadgum script.

What comes next?

Ew! What is this?

It's a heart. I used to have one of those.

Valentines Day must be next.

Isn't this supposed to be a Christmas play?

[slurping]

False advertising.

Not to mention, this acting is atrocious.

A half dead imbecile could do better than this.

Then you two will be perfect. Knock 'em dead!

What the...? [screams]

[exclaims]

Huh?

[sputters, clears throat]

Oh, Cupid,

I have searched the entire sea.

Bring forth my true love to me.

[screams]

Are you supposed to be my true love?

Thank-ye not.

No. I'm Cupid. Your girlfriend's up there.

I suppose that's an improvement.

[grunts]

Oh, my love, how I yearn for your embrace-

And then they kiss.

And then they kiss?

I hope he brushed his teeth this morning.

I hope she wore hers.

[both gulp]

[kissing noises]

[crowd gasps]

[chuckles]

Clever trick.

But that won't work on me.

Now, hand over Cupid.

I come from a future

where Cupid's army of stale candy-hearts

have unleashed their never-ending sugar war.

[robotic voice] I love you.

Now I've returned to stop this future

from ever coming to pass

by destroying the one you call Cupid!

[yelps]

Hah! Nice try, muscles.

Here, have some candy. I'm sure you'll love it.

[computerized beeps]

I see now that I was wrong

to hate those beautiful candy hearts.

I'm coming, my love!

Be mine!

[laughs wickedly]

Hmm, an interesting take.

This isn't going as badly as I expected.

[screams] Ow!

[laughs weakly]

How do these boots look, partner?

What? No, wrong boots.

Where's your beard? Where's your big coat?

One big coat comin' up.

[thunder rumbling]

Hey, Patgor.

Peak-a-boo!

Peak-a-boo!

Hey, you two egg-noggins.

Get back to work!

Okay.

And to tie it all together...

Hold on to your jingle bells, boys.

Yes. It's alive.

The Christmas Spirit is alive!

[grunting]

Ah!

[both] Merry Christmas, boss!

Thanks. Just what I always wanted.

[camera shutter clicks]

And now to celebrate my favorite day!

Patrick's Day!

[audience cheering]

It's not Patrick's Day, you buffoon!

It's Saint Patrick's Day.

What's the difference?

[Patrick screams]

[Mr. Krabs] Hey!

[GrandPat] Saint Patrick's Day apparently commemorates

the brave deeds of Saint Patrick,

who opposed the evil green leprechauns,

who were using their dark magic

to turn pots of gold into rainbows.

[maniacal laughing]

[grumbles]

So powering up his strength

to its maximum level,

Saint Patrick did battle with the leprechaun.

[both grunting]

[both scream]

Huh?

[hums a tune]

[groans]

Saint Patrick delivered one final blow.

Hold it!

Who wrote this malarkey?

[Patrick] Hey!

Wow, so original.

The villain gets defeated.

Don't you people wanna see something new?

[all] No.

Something cutting edge?

[all] No.

Well, I've got something to say.

[Mr. Krabs] All right, Shakespeare,

this is your final act.

Take a hike. I'm building a moment.

Fore...

[Plankton screaming]

[all screaming]

-Any room? -No, we're full.

-[grunting] -[Mr. Krabs] Okay.

-[screaming] -[Mr. Krabs laughing]

[laughter]

Uh, I should probably get backstage.

To celebrate Easter, a special treat.

We hid chocolate eggs under your seat.

[all gasp happily]

[slurping]

Uh, that segment's been cut.

[all] Aw...

But don't worry...

there's an even sweeter treat

on the next page.

[munching] Had to cut that one too.

-I'm back. -[horn honks]

How do ya like this coat?

What is this?

No, no, no no! A red coat. With the fluffy trim.

Ooh! Fluffy trim? Coming right up.

Wait, how did you...

Going up?

Patrick, you're supposed to be on stage!

Oh, no, the teacher.

We're losing him. We gotta get to the good part.

I know! Holiday lightning round!

The Fourth of July!

Boxing Day!

Labor Day!

Tax Day!

-Twin Day! -Twin Day!

Halloween.

-[laughter] -Aah!

Free Balloon Day.

Now it's free. Nothing Day.

Cy-ber Mon-Day.

Mother's Day.

Fitness Day!

Swaptoberfest.

All right, pal, let's go.

Earth Day!

Opposite Day!

Make A Friend Day.

Huh, I don't know about some of these...

Found a fluffy trim.

No, no, no, that's not a Santa suit.

I'm... playing... Santa?

Well, why didn't ya say so? I have the perfect outfit.

Oh, no.

Wednesday.

Those aren't holidays. Docking points.

Cue Bikini Bottom Founders' Day!

Ho, ho, ho!

Is this what you had in mind?

[gasps] SpongeBob, it's perfect!

Come on, you're up soon.

I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm r- Oh...

[grunts]

[exclaiming]

Oh. [weakly] Ready. [groans]

Well, that's it.

I don't think this play

could possibly get any worse.

[screaming]

[all groaning]

It got worse.

[screaming]

[sighs]

Hey, why are those grown-ups

wearing our costumes?

Hate to break it to ya, kid,

but they were looking for seasoned talent.

[gasps]

Did you hear that?

Those weird grown-ups stole our parts.

Get 'em!

[all scuffling]

Nope. It got worse than worse.

I guess it's summer school for me.

Oh, I feel bad.

Me too.

And not just from eating

all those chocolate eggs.

[grunts]

-But I have an idea! -[bell dings]

[whispering]

That's it! Patrick, your genius is showing.

[gasps] Again?

[laughs]

Come on, let's go.

[all grunting]

Uncle, Uncle!

All right, I think we've both seen enough.

[groans]

[grunting]

Let's just get this grading over with.

Well, due to excessive violence, destruction,

and lack of Christmas content in a Christmas play,

I have to give you an F.

[sighs]

I know. It would've taken

a miracle to fix this mess...

[explosion]

[gasps]

Did someone say miracle?

Ho, ho, ho, ho!

Honey, look! It's Santa.

Ooh!

Jumping Gingerbread Men!

It's Santa! Santa's in your play?

-A+ for you! -Yippee!

Santa, did you get my letters? Tell me about the North Pole!

This is amazing!

But, SpongeBob, Patrick, how did you pull it off?

Patrick here reminded me

that the big guy

owes us a couple of favors.

Thanks for fixing my play, big brother.

Aw...

I'm just sorry I messed it up

in the first place.

And that's why you're still

on my naughty list, Patrick Star.

[laughs]

But never mind all that, it's time for presents.

[all cheering]

Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

[groaning]

[Santa] Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

[laughing uncontrollably]

[closing theme music plays]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0