Original subtitles

Are you okay? What's goin' on?

How long have you been married?

-Six years. -We're separated.

It's not easy,

remembering that you won't grow old together.

I've been getting tons of compliments on this.

It's not a big deal.

You signed Tristan Ashgrove when he was 18?

You are what people will connect to.

Oh, no! Come on, no, no!

This city kind of conditions you to toughen up.

-Aah! -Geez!

Four minutes ago, this expired!

Four minutes ago!

And you're down here like a loser

with your little tickets!

Does that make you feel powerful, huh?!

Sorry, kid.

No matter what you're struggling with,

the world keeps going on around you,

like everything's normal.

Can I get, uh… one pretzel?

-Yeah. -Thank you.

When things get bleak,

you just have to focus on the things that bring you joy.

Sorry, I didn't know that you were in here.

That's okay. We can both be in here.

Uh, that's okay. I'm heading out, actually.

Oh, but it's your day off.

I thought you like staying home.

Uh, I did, when it…

It was home.

So, uh… where you off to?

Uh, just... just some errands.

Uh, when's your next appointment with Dr. Ross?

Okay, uh…

I know that you're just crashing here,

but we're also co-parenting a child

while you're seriously ill, so, like it or not,

I need to be aware of some of these things, okay?

Right. No, you're right.

Um, uh…

Chemo starts Wednesday, to shrink the tumor.

And then they'll operate sometime in the future.

That's really all I know so far.

Okay, so I'll get a sitter for Wednesday.

Nope. It's all good.

It's okay. I'm good. Thank you.

Nate, please don't be a martyr, okay?

That would imply that I want you there,

and I don't.

Okay, yeah.

I can be your punching bag, if that's what you need.

You know what I need, Claire?

Honesty.

Is this the reason the school payment

didn't go through?

Yeah?

Okay, so I signed up for this…

Before we found out that you were sick.

Okay?

It's just a little side hustle.

Kim sold her lotions at the hospital last year,

and all the nurses went nuts.

Well, what is it?

It's like an MLM, a pyramid scheme?

She was able to make an extra couple thousand a month,

which we really need...

It's not about the money, Claire!

It's about the fact that I don't feel like

I've got, like, ground beneath my feet right now.

I have no solid place to stand, anywhere, alright?

Not at the... not at the bar,

where I have to keep on this cool boss face

to make everybody feel secure in their jobs,

when I don't think that I can afford to pay them

through the end of the year!

And then here, I have to pretend to be strong

for a six-year-old,

when I don't think I'm... I'm even gonna be…

Shh.

I'm really sorry.

I think after all of the financial stress that I caused,

I thought this would help make up for it.

It was stupid.

No. It's alright.

It's okay. What's done is done.

I just want to move on. Please.

Ooh…

-Here, let me give you a hand. -Thank you, sir...

Tristan Ashgrove!

Wow, it's, uh…

It's been forever.

Yes.

And here I am, crawling around the dirty street.

I just spotted a 20.

It's human nature to grab at money.

I swear I'm not destitute.

I will be soon, though, if I don't get another gig.

What, you're not with Vesey Street anymore?

Uh, no.

They canned me.

-No, you're not serious. -Mm-hm.

I'm telling you, that's their loss, okay?

Hm, that's what I said when you left me.

I owe my entire career to you, Kris Aldridge.

Aw, I'll replay that compliment in my head all day.

It's good to see you. Don't be a stranger.

Same.

Let me know where you end up, okay?

Yeah, it might be a minute.

I'm an acquired taste.

All right, so start your own label.

All right?

Please remove me from your list.

But wait, your car warranty is about to expire!

How are you?

Ah, that's a complex question.

You maybe wanna discuss it over takeout tonight?

Sure do. Your place or mine?

Wait, where do you even live?

And… another complex question.

Why don't you meet me at the bar?

We're closing early for inventory.

-Look here, um… -Mm-hm?

Forgive my ignorance, but… Ellis?

Oh, um, Ellis is non-binary.

And you just know that because…

You're a lesbian, right?

Yeah, it was in the queer newsletter.

Oh.

I know because I asked.

And in my opinion, everyone should wear nametags.

Pronouns, orientation, emotional availability.

It's a jungle out there.

-That so? -Mm-hm.

Mm-hm.

I'm always the oldest one at all the gay bars,

looking for my person.

Mm-hm.

And I already found my person once.

Whatever game I had is out the window.

Maybe it's just time to get a bunch 'a cats.

Look here. Wait a minute.

There's something I forgot to give you the other day.

You know that person at the computer store?

Sylvie.

You remember her name?

Nametag, helpful. See?

Well, anyway,

they asked me to give you this.

Mm-hm.

Get outta here. Is this a joke?

No joke, yeah.

Hah!

Well, look at that.

Yeah.

The exact confidence boost I needed right in this moment.

Yeah, all right.

Now, if a chiropractor were to drop out of the sky

and help me with these damn back spasms…

Don't go to a chiropractor.

My girlfriend Rebecca is a physical therapist.

She makes house calls. Tell her I sent you.

-Excellent. -Mm-hm.

-Well, thank you. -Thank you.

For eavesdroppin'.

We are on a roll, Walter!

-Nah. -Damn.

What should we ask for next?

More coffee?

I'm glad you called out sick.

Well, I am sick.

Of working.

It's nice to see you like this.

You've been glowing ever since you stepped off that stage.

I know.

I like this me.

So do I.

Hey, guess what?

I'm late.

Okay…

How late?

Like a week.

Did you take a test?

Nope.

Because I don't need a mental spiral right now.

So… no more testing.

I'm just gonna wait and see.

I can't live in dread anymore.

I need to be Zen.

Yes.

What will happen will happen.

Exactly.

But I hope it's happening.

Hey… you're sick.

Don't answer that.

Are you a sociopath?

Uh, would a sociopath actually know

if they were a sociopath?

Good point.

Or a genius diversion by a sociopath.

We can table that one.

Are you…

A father?

Yes.

Got one.

Uh, boy or girl?

Girl. Anna. And she's six.

Aw, sweet.

Uh, so you're divorced, then?

No.

Mother's not in the picture?

Uh…

She is, but you were never married?

So, technically…

Here we go.

Technically still married, but getting a divorce.

We were about to file when things got…

Complicated.

Okay, you can stop with the "complicated," "complex,"

blah, blah, blah. Just spit it out.

You know you don't owe me anything, right?

We just met.

I know, I know, but…

I want to be honest with you because I like you.

Even though you're kind of mean.

Ah, I like you, too.

Even though you are throwing out a lot of red flags,

oddly, they're not scaring me off.

That's the quote that will be at the start of the podcast

about my murder, isn't it?

Uh, probably.

Probably.

So, there's one more thing.

Well, I'm not really a fan of the announcing before saying...

I have lung cancer.

Okay…

How bad are we talking?

Enough for chemo, and then surgery.

So that brings me to my living situation.

Um, I was in the process of moving out

when I was diagnosed.

I see.

So you're still living with your wife?

Future ex-wife.

Technical wife.

What?

I'm not allowed to be an ass just because you have…

Cancer?

I'm…

I'm very sorry to dump all of this on you.

It's just that I start treatment on Wednesday,

and I, um…

Um…

Uh, yes, so I have... I have a choice,

which is that I could…

I could tell you now.

It feels very early to be this intense.

Or, uh...

I'm sorry.

I'm having a little trouble breathing right now.

Okay.

Yeah, my, my…

Hands are a little… little sweaty…

-Can you just breathe? -Oh…

-Breathe. -Okay…

Oh… okay…

That's great.

Oh my God!

-Help! -Pull, pull, pull!

-Oh, mm-hm! -Oh my lord.

That's good.

Oh, shoot. I need to use the bathroom.

Okay.

I feel like I'm gonna pee my pants.

That's a good sign, right?

Our Lyft will be here in one minute.

Black Lexus.

Cool.

What are you smiling at?

It's…

Tell me.

Okay.

Those women over there…

-Mm-hm? -Smiling, laughing?

Mm-hm?

This sounds terrible, but…

I'd normally be really annoyed at them

for being happy when I can't.

And then I get angry at myself for being annoyed, and...

Oh my.

Your mind sounds like an exhausting place.

Most of the time, yeah.

But right now…

I don't feel any of that.

Is our car here?

Is that a 20?

Damn.

It was a good try, baby.

Hah.

This is our car. Let's go.

Oh. Thanks.

How you doin' down there?

Mmm… Better.

You were right. The floor…

Floor helps a lot.

Why don't I lie on the floor more often?

Because it's socially unacceptable for adults.

It shouldn't be, if you ask me.

It's really grounding.

Literally.

Okay, now I want to get on the floor.

I have to say, I'm a little embarrassed.

I haven't really had a panic attack in years.

It makes sense.

You were talking about starting chemotherapy.

It'd make anyone panic.

I think it just… hit me.

I'm about to start this really extensive process,

and it's either going to work, or…

Not work.

It's a lot.

Especially as a dad, I imagine.

Yeah.

Having a kid makes you think a lot more

about your own mortality.

Sounds magical.

I think I've been keeping a lot bottled up.

You could talk to someone.

I am.

You know what I mean.

I don't know…

I think this city just kind of conditions you to toughen up.

No matter what you're struggling with,

the world keeps going on around you

like everything's normal.

When things get bleak,

you just have to focus on the things

that bring you joy.

Like Anna.

She's a daddy's girl, isn't she?

Mm-hm, yes.

I was, too, growing up.

And then my dad and I started butting heads.

How are things now?

Unresolved.

We haven't spoken in…

In way too long,

but I intend to fix that.

I'm just not sure when.

How was school today?

Uh, it was pretty good,

but I think I'm gonna have to retake my Spanish exam.

You must have got that from me. I was terrible at Spanish.

But I did score two goals in soccer.

You did not get that from me. Way to go.

What should we have for dinner?

I get to pick?

Yeah, why not?

Okay…

How about… tacos?

Okay.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, angel girl.

I'm starving.

You are?

First time she's said that since beginning her treatment.

Can we have spaghetti?

You got it, kiddo.

Pasta. What a good idea.

Any pain when I touch here?

Ah, yup.

Okay. I'll spend some time on that.

But I recommend you roll your feet out at home.

You can use the golf ball.

A golf ball, eh?

-Yeah. -Ah, all righty, then.

Okay…

All right, how about here?

Any tenderness?

I'll save you some time.

You name it, it probably hurts.

Ah, the worst is in my lower back.

It feels like I can't stand up straight.

How long has that pain been going on?

A while. But it's manageable.

It got worse after I lost my wife.

Nobody to drag me out of the house,

make me walk every day.

What was your wife's name, if I may ask?

Brenda.

You know, grief can often manifest as physical pain.

The emotional, the physical,

it's all connected.

And breathe in.

And breathe out.

I actually ran into one of my old artists today.

He said I should start my own record label.

Isn't that ridiculous?

Why is that ridiculous?

Because it's a massive risk.

Yeah.

You know what else is a massive risk?

What?

Chemo.

I'm the worst!

No, you're not.

I'm messing with you.

Wow!

Do I hate you now?

I don't think you do.

Mm-hm…

You should do it.

Start your own label.

Life's short, right?

Okay…

Cancer guru.

Isn't it crazy how…

Something like this makes you look back

on your life?

Everything that led you here.

What could have changed it.

And I dunno, maybe nothing could have, but…

Who knows?

Okay, this is a dark question…

If you had the ability

to know how your life would end,

would you want to?

Huh!

Ah, do I look taller?

I feel like I grew a couple of inches after that.

Yeah.

Wow! You are good.

-Well, thank you. -Mm-hm!

I'm glad I was able to help Ellis's favorite customer.

Don't say that. He'll get cocky.

Oh, someone is fishing for tips.

How long have you been seeing each other?

Three months.

Ah, the honeymoon phase!

It is something else.

You know, lucky for me, it never ended with my Brenda.

Oh, she was a big romantic, huh?

-Oh, no, no, no, I was. -Oh!

She always knew she was too good for me,

and I had to keep earning her.

Yeah.

Anyway, those days are over.

-I don't believe that. -Mm.

Not for one second.

I bet you that romantic guy is still in you.

Oh! Oh, I...

-Oh! -I didn't see anything!

I'm sorry! It's fine!

No, there's nothing to see.

Yeah. Cool.

We're decent. We just fell asleep talking.

Right. Good look for you both.

It's great. I love it.

Really, though.

Okay, boss!

Hey.

Hello.

Oh, right.

I told Aria that I would meet her

to talk about "my label."

Mm, no air quotes needed. Don't do that.

Oh, I'm doubting myself now.

Don't.

Why don't you have her meet you here?

Lunch hour's pretty quiet.

Well, if you really need the business.

I haven't told Ellis yet.

Who else knows?

Well, my technical wife…

And now you.

It's okay, baby, it's gone.

No, I know I left it somewhere in here.

I can see it in my mind.

Where?

I don't know!

I-I can literally picture it everywhere!

Babe, what time are you meeting Kris?

Noon.

-It's 11:48. -I know!

Um… okay.

I will... I will look more when I get home.

I-I'm so sorry.

It's just a ring.

It's not… it's not just a ring.

It's me and you.

Look, these last few years have been so hard on us.

This feels like a bad sign or something.

Aria, please look at this for what it is.

It's not a sign.

It doesn't mean anything bad about the future.

People lose things. That's all.

It happens.

Okay?

Why are you so good to me?

Okay.

Okay, I gotta go.

Love you.

Walter, what you, uh…

What you doing?

Oh…

Fingerprints all over the window.

I thought I'd give it a little attention.

Okay, well… well, thank you very much for doing that.

Don't expect a discount, though.

Right.

Ah.

Oh, hi, Kris.

Hi.

I'm so sorry. I'm great with faces

and song lyrics

and personal injury attorney jingles,

but I'm terrible with names.

Could you just remind me?

Walter.

Walter! Yes.

Thank you.

It's so nice to see you again.

You come here a lot, then, huh?

Oh, yeah. This is like my "Cheers."

Everybody knows my name.

Except you.

Right.

Um, I was…

I was supposed to meet a friend here,

but, uh, she's getting ready for a first date.

Hmm.

Sorry I'm so late.

She must think I'm the biggest flake.

Walter, this is my friend Aria.

She has the most endearing anxiety.

Oh, hi.

Wait, hold on. You… you…

You were the one who was singing here

the other night, right?

Uh… that depends.

Uh, did you like it?

Oh, you're a very talented young lady.

Pleasure.

-Yes, it was me. -Wow.

Thank you.

Wow.

Thank you for meeting me.

Yeah.

I, uh, had this crazy idea last night,

and I wanted to share it with you.

I'm starting my own record label.

That's amazing.

Congratulations.

Oh, don't congratulate me just yet.

I still have to sign my first artist.

Uh, and I was hoping it could be you.

I put you on the spot.

You can just... you can think about it.

No, no, no. Sorry. I would be honored!

Really? Well, that's great!

It's gonna be great.

I really do need to keep an eye on Walter.

Don't want any of those insurance claims,

you know what I mean?

Yeah.

He feels close to his wife here,

so I like to indulge him.

Plus, we are short-staffed, so…

Yeah. Uh…

Actually, uh, I wanted to talk to you

about a few…

Managerial things.

Do you want me to call Walter, or…

Um…

Um… I'd like to ask you a favor.

Yeah. What's up?

Uh, so I'm not gonna be around as much

over the next couple of months,

and I really need somebody that I can trust

to be in charge.

So could you… cover for me?

Yeah. Of course.

Great. Well, meeting done!

No, dude.

What... what is going on with you?

No, nothing's going on...

I feel like your voice just got really high.

Everything is fine.

I call bull.

Do you promise not to make a big deal?

Yeah.

You can say something.

Yeah.

Well, there's a lot of things that I want to say,

but I'm trying to not make it a big deal, so…

Well, I mean, your silence is kind of making it a big deal.

Right.

Uh, thank you for telling me you have cancer.

Oof.

What a weird thing to say.

Yeah, it's…

Yeah. You…

Have always had my back when nobody else did, so…

Um, just…

Know I have yours.

No matter what.

This place is my home, so…

Yeah. Mine too.

Oh, hello.

Hello.

Meet my new artist.

Oh, hey! Congratulations.

Make sure to tell all the media outlets

that the signing meeting actually happened here.

It'd be great for me.

And also, if you have any new material

that you want to test out,

you will always have an empty stage.

Oh, wow. Thank you.

Oh, all offers have to come through the label, sir.

Okay, so it's gonna be... Wow.

Well, how does the label feel about a weekly gig?

-Oh, we'll take it. -Weekly, I don't know.

Just say yes. Don't think about it.

Okay. Yes.

Can't promise about the thinking part, though.

We need to get you out of your head.

Maybe go for a run?

No.

Why does everybody always seem to go for a run?

What is so magical about running?

-I mean… -Have you tried it?

No.

Okay, just…

Start writing.

It doesn't have to be anything good.

Just write and then send it to me.

Even if it's just a few seconds of something.

Really?

That would be so helpful to get some encouragement as I go.

That's what I'm here for.

And the beauty of you being my only client

is that I can be available to you all the time.

Oh, my. Okay. Okay!

Off you go.

-Are you good? -Yes.

Yeah, I got Ellis to cover the bar tomorrow.

Who's covering you at the hospital?

Aren't... you know, I'm fine, really.

All right, well, if it's not too much

of a threat to your masculinity,

I would like to be there for you.

I would really like that.

Just text me when and where.

Yeah. Will do.

Okay.

Great.

See ya.

-Hey. -Hi.

I got your Slack.

Why didn't you just text me?

Uh…

About that.

Desi, we've been seeing too much of each other

outside of work and texting all the time, and…

We can't do that anymore.

It's crossing a line.

You crossed a line.

You were the one who told me all these personal details

about your marriage, asking me if you should leave.

Yes, you're right.

And I… I regret putting you in that position.

But whatever this is, I have to draw a boundary.

A boundary?

Wow, John.

What a mature approach.

I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.

Yeah.

I know that.

And… Gram is here!

Wow! Hi, Millie.

What are you doing in town?

I just popped into the city to get a necklace reset.

I've got a black-tie gala this weekend,

and there's no diamond district in Connecticut,

so I thought I'd just surprise everybody.

Where is everyone?

Uh, Anna's at ballet, and, uh…

And Nate's working at the bar.

Yeah, I could use a glass of Pinot, by the way.

Nope.

He's in Long Island. He's visiting a winery today.

Well, that's a waste on someone who doesn't even drink.

When's he coming back? I'll give him a call.

No, don't.

Why not?

Okay, Millie, I was, uh…

I dunno, I was waiting for Nate to tell you this,

but, um…

We're separated.

What?

Why?

It's not exactly my decision.

I was hoping we could work on things.

Oh, here come the tears.

So, where's he staying?

Here. He hasn't moved out yet.

We haven't even filed the papers.

Oh, okay.

Do you know how many times Luis and I almost divorced,

till he realized he couldn't live without me?

Really?

I know my son.

He's gonna realize this is a big mistake

and he can't be alone.

It's just a bump in the road, sweetheart.

That's all this is.

Okay.

Thank you.

That's a beautiful ring, by the way.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, isn't it?

Someone just sold it to the store,

and I can't imagine why, 'cause it's stunning, right?

Yeah.

You know what?

You take it.

Oh...

Yeah.

You and I got off to a rocky start.

But we are family.

No matter what.

♪ When the rain is pouring

♪ It's flooding in ♪

♪ Eyes are blurry ♪

♪ From all of it ♪

♪ I'll be there for you ♪

♪ I'll be there for you… ♪

How does it feel?

Mm…

It doesn't really feel like anything yet,

although my mouth's a little dry.

Checking in.

No pinching or burning?

No. So far, so good.

I'm Angela.

Are you Nate's wife?

You have a wife?

I'm just messing with him.

He does have a wife, though.

No, right.

We're sep... we're very separated.

I'll mind my own business.

Please ignore her.

She doesn't have a filter.

This room can use entertainment.

Oh my.

Regret inviting me yet?

I don't believe I invited you.

I think you invited yourself, actually.

Hey, Finn.

Hey. Your first day?

Yup. Any advice?

Get ready for a long nap tomorrow.

Hi, Nate's friend.

This is Kris.

Hello, Finn.

My God, you sound like Hermione!

Hermione is from...

-I know about Hermione! -You paused, and…

You're from England.

I am.

I've been in the States a long time now, though.

"The States."

So, Finn has, um, lung cancer like me.

Never even had a cigarette.

She loves that joke.

-Kris? -Yes?

Do you say "spot of tea"?

Actually, I say "cuppa."

Cool.

I love tea.

Wait, can you say…

-Okay… -Uh-oh.

Ooh, you're cheeky!

"Sod off."

This could be a whole novel that she's just written.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist!"

Feel free to tell her "no,"

or else she will do this all day.

I don't mind.

"Stop being a knob, Davide."

Ooh. Oh…

Is Davide you?

Indeed I am.

Ow! Ow!

Ooh…

Damn, baby. Are you okay?

No, I am not okay.

I just stubbed my toe on this stupid bucket of coins

-you have here collecting dust. -Oh!

Why didn't you just, uh, move it?

Well, if I was strong enough to pick it up,

I would have dumped it on your head.

Ooh!

Kiss it.

Muah!

Whoa.

Oh, gee…

Oh.

Hi, Tara. What do you need?

What do I need?

I need to need somethin' to call my friend?

Okay, then, no need to need.

How was your date?

Oh.

It went really well.

Glad to hear that.

I'm surprised you called.

I didn't know when I would hear from you.

What are you talkin' about? Because I went on a date?

Well…

Oh, come on, now, stop with all that, Walter.

You should know that I always make room

for all the special people in my life.

Ah, you free for lunch tomorrow?

Well, let me check my thriving social calendar.

Yep!

Uh…

"Prop"?

Mm, got that already.

Oh, we do, yeah.

What about "droopy"?

"Droopy"? Good one.

"Poopy."

Sorry, did you say "poopy"? Okay.

"Poopy," not a word according to this,

but…

"Poop" is.

Thank... sorry.

Thank you very much, Finn.

You're welcome.

Oh, yeah.

Um…

What is that?

Um…

It was supposed to be a surprise.

I know you were upset about the ring.

John…

I love it.

Oh my gosh…

Can I get a new one?

Oh, sorry. I don't have any 20s.

That's fine. It's not that important.

I do have two rolls of coins.

Sir?

Sure.

That'll be just fine.

Thank you.

♪ Sometimes your life feels like a broken roller coaster ♪

♪ A thousand useless moving parts… ♪

-Hey, Nate? -Yeah?

Ever play "Gotcha Last"?

Next time, sweetie, okay? It's time to go.

It's okay.

It's something to look forward to.

Fine.

Gotcha last!

She loves to win.

Yeah. So do I. This isn't over yet.

It was bloody good to meet ya, Kris!

Cheerio, Finn.

Kid is a riot.

Isn't she?

Oh, yeah.

I'll meet you in the waiting room.

Yeah.

♪ Look up! ♪

♪ Do you see the sunlight? ♪

Hey, Mom.

♪ Look up! ♪

♪ There's flowers in your hair ♪

♪ Hold on, 'cause somebody… ♪

Fine, give me a ticket. I don't care.

That's okay.

I'm gonna fight it.

I'm gonna make you go to court.

You're in the city?

Why didn't you tell me?

Mom, Mom, Mom…

That's not exactly the whole story, okay?

♪ Life can be beautiful if you let it be ♪

♪ Tomorrow keeps taunting you with all kinds of mystery ♪

♪ It's a blank page for your poetry

if you let it be ♪

♪ So, don't tell yourself it's raining ♪

♪ The clouds are in your head ♪

A-ha!

No, I can't talk about this right now.

I…

I have to go.

I have to go. Bye.

♪ …before you fall again ♪

♪ Before you lose it all again ♪

♪ Look up! ♪

♪ Do you see the sunlight? ♪

♪ Look up! ♪

♪ There's flowers in your hair ♪

♪ Hold on, 'cause somebody loves you ♪

♪ You know trouble's always gonna be there ♪

♪ Don't let it bring you to your knees, yeah ♪

♪ Look up! ♪

♪ Look up! ♪

♪ Trouble's always gonna be there ♪

♪ Look up! ♪

♪ Don't let it bring you to your knees ♪

♪ Look up ♪