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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:40,338 --> 00:03:42,432 - 'Night. - Good night. 2 00:04:37,561 --> 00:04:39,086 Right here is fine. 3 00:04:39,630 --> 00:04:41,565 Think this is bleak enough? 4 00:04:42,132 --> 00:04:46,228 My ears are frozen, my feet are frozen, this is as far as it goes. 5 00:04:46,403 --> 00:04:47,735 Malt won't like this. 6 00:04:49,306 --> 00:04:52,299 - What's he not going to like? - He'll find something. 7 00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:53,807 Besides us, you mean? 8 00:04:54,011 --> 00:04:55,001 Yes. 9 00:04:55,812 --> 00:04:56,802 Huey.... 10 00:04:57,247 --> 00:04:59,148 You sit in the sled. 11 00:05:02,019 --> 00:05:03,647 Santa, Sparky... 12 00:05:03,820 --> 00:05:05,152 ...presents... 13 00:05:05,422 --> 00:05:06,515 ...reindeer... 14 00:05:06,657 --> 00:05:08,023 ...fake snow. 15 00:05:08,158 --> 00:05:09,786 - What are we missing? - Children. 16 00:05:12,029 --> 00:05:13,224 Let them out. 17 00:05:13,830 --> 00:05:14,889 Let them out. 18 00:05:20,270 --> 00:05:21,431 What do I do? 19 00:05:21,605 --> 00:05:23,437 You know what to do. 20 00:05:23,673 --> 00:05:26,939 When they handed out the parts, you got the heart. 21 00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:28,941 Right. I got the heart. 22 00:05:29,612 --> 00:05:31,843 You mean you got the brains? 23 00:05:32,448 --> 00:05:35,782 I mean between the two of us, you got the heart. 24 00:05:35,951 --> 00:05:38,785 Together we make a person. 25 00:05:54,470 --> 00:05:56,462 What is this, Craddock, a joke? 26 00:05:57,073 --> 00:05:59,304 - Who was in charge here? - Me. 27 00:05:59,475 --> 00:06:02,468 - I was. - Right. This was Quinlan's baby. 28 00:06:02,645 --> 00:06:03,704 Quinlan.... 29 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,514 Let me ask you a question. 30 00:06:06,382 --> 00:06:10,649 You was a big-shot investigative reporter for the Chicago Tribune. 31 00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:12,482 Won some prizes. 32 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,657 Give him a biscuit. 33 00:06:16,826 --> 00:06:19,091 What do these look like to you? 34 00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:22,597 They're Indians dressed up as Eskimos. 35 00:06:22,732 --> 00:06:25,224 Indians, Eskimos, what's the difference? 36 00:06:25,401 --> 00:06:27,165 - That's what we thought. - Shut up. 37 00:06:27,336 --> 00:06:28,497 That's cool. 38 00:06:28,671 --> 00:06:31,231 Do you know the only prize I ever got? 39 00:06:31,407 --> 00:06:33,000 It's there, on the walls. 40 00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:36,509 I got four and a half million people who buy... 41 00:06:36,912 --> 00:06:39,245 ...the National Mirror every week. 42 00:06:39,415 --> 00:06:41,111 Do you know how many... 43 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:42,980 ...of those 4.5 million readers... 44 00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:45,848 ...are Indians or Eskimos or Eskimo-Indians? 45 00:06:46,021 --> 00:06:48,684 - I told him. American children. - Americans... 46 00:06:48,858 --> 00:06:51,123 ...want to see pictures of Americans. 47 00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:53,559 - They are Americans. - Americans. 48 00:06:54,130 --> 00:06:56,928 - Is that too much to ask for Christmas? - No, sir... 49 00:06:57,132 --> 00:06:59,431 ...and I'll get someone right on it. 50 00:07:01,202 --> 00:07:03,364 My little poochie, look at you. 51 00:07:05,940 --> 00:07:08,034 If you don't teach that dog... 52 00:07:08,209 --> 00:07:11,646 ...some manners soon, somebody else will have to. 53 00:07:13,014 --> 00:07:15,381 How long were you Elizabeth Taylor's pool man? 54 00:07:15,550 --> 00:07:18,213 Reincarnation, Miss Hucklow speaking. 55 00:07:18,386 --> 00:07:21,550 Were you on the bed when it levitated? 56 00:07:22,223 --> 00:07:23,953 He lives in your refrigerator? 57 00:07:26,895 --> 00:07:31,663 Can I put you on hold for a second? I'll go to my desk and take this call. 58 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,463 No, don't let him out. Okay, hold on. 59 00:07:54,589 --> 00:07:56,581 Here's something interesting. 60 00:08:05,934 --> 00:08:09,098 Malt sent you for the tree this year. I forgot. 61 00:08:09,270 --> 00:08:10,795 I found it in Montana. 62 00:08:11,005 --> 00:08:15,204 As soon as I see it, I know it's too big to fit on the truck... 63 00:08:15,610 --> 00:08:20,275 ...but then I think, what if someone sees it while I try to find one... 64 00:08:20,448 --> 00:08:22,212 ...that'll fit on the truck? 65 00:08:22,517 --> 00:08:24,509 Then Malt gets... 66 00:08:24,853 --> 00:08:28,721 ...the second biggest Christmas tree in the U.S. and I'm screwed. 67 00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:31,018 Yeah, well, that's good thinking. 68 00:08:31,225 --> 00:08:33,217 - So I cut the top off. - You did that? 69 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,852 I didn't know it'd be a major problem... 70 00:08:36,029 --> 00:08:38,794 ...to put the top part of a tree back on the bottom. 71 00:08:38,966 --> 00:08:41,731 He will never fire you. Look at the walls. 72 00:08:42,803 --> 00:08:44,795 Look. Look at the walls. 73 00:08:44,972 --> 00:08:48,306 He's got millions of dollars tied up in that dog... 74 00:08:48,475 --> 00:08:50,808 ...and the dog belongs to you. 75 00:08:51,245 --> 00:08:53,646 Hold on to that dog, Huey. 76 00:09:00,821 --> 00:09:02,050 What?! 77 00:09:02,256 --> 00:09:03,315 Driscoll! 78 00:09:04,558 --> 00:09:06,686 Driscoll, come in here. 79 00:09:09,396 --> 00:09:11,490 We are going to get it, Sparky. 80 00:09:13,567 --> 00:09:16,765 "Dear Mr. Quinlan, I'm a great admirer... 81 00:09:16,904 --> 00:09:20,568 "...of your prose and can tell you have a sensitive nature. 82 00:09:20,774 --> 00:09:23,175 "I have had an angel... 83 00:09:23,343 --> 00:09:24,402 "...named... 84 00:09:24,578 --> 00:09:25,910 "...Michael... 85 00:09:27,281 --> 00:09:32,015 "...living with me for almost six months now. He's extremely polite. 86 00:09:32,286 --> 00:09:37,190 "I have enclosed a photograph to prove to you that I have not lost my wits. 87 00:09:38,926 --> 00:09:42,693 "I know that you and Sparky travel all over for your stories. 88 00:09:42,863 --> 00:09:45,458 "That one about the coconut with the wedding ring inside... 89 00:09:45,532 --> 00:09:47,797 "...was very, very nice. 90 00:09:48,368 --> 00:09:51,304 "And I think you should visit Iowa... 91 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,102 "...and see us... 92 00:09:55,309 --> 00:09:56,538 "...for yourself. 93 00:09:57,210 --> 00:09:59,872 "Sincerely, Pansy Milbank." 94 00:10:05,952 --> 00:10:07,944 Did your mother drop you? 95 00:10:08,387 --> 00:10:11,380 What was going on in that pea brain... 96 00:10:11,724 --> 00:10:16,321 ...that let you take this superb creation of the Lord Almighty... 97 00:10:16,462 --> 00:10:18,556 ...and chop it in half? 98 00:10:18,731 --> 00:10:22,224 Whatever I pay you, it's too much. How much does Fred make? 99 00:10:22,401 --> 00:10:26,065 The janitor? I cannot survive on a janitor's salary. 100 00:10:26,238 --> 00:10:28,139 - Help me? - Kill the dog. 101 00:10:28,341 --> 00:10:29,741 Were you invited? 102 00:10:29,909 --> 00:10:32,242 - Let him go on the highway. - Wait a minute. 103 00:10:32,411 --> 00:10:34,141 What kind of person are you? 104 00:10:34,347 --> 00:10:35,440 Who is this? 105 00:10:35,648 --> 00:10:37,640 Dorothy Winters. She works here. 106 00:10:37,850 --> 00:10:39,546 I do? I got the job? 107 00:10:40,586 --> 00:10:45,354 - You won't regret this, Mr. Malt. - Do you know what that is? 108 00:10:46,359 --> 00:10:47,418 That... 109 00:10:47,593 --> 00:10:49,926 ...is an angel. 110 00:10:50,663 --> 00:10:52,655 That is a genuine angel. 111 00:10:52,865 --> 00:10:54,094 Huey... 112 00:10:54,266 --> 00:10:55,598 ...discovered it. 113 00:10:55,968 --> 00:10:58,233 - Is it for real? - Absolutely. 114 00:10:59,872 --> 00:11:01,864 You'll get me this angel? 115 00:11:02,008 --> 00:11:04,000 That's exactly what we'll do. 116 00:11:05,778 --> 00:11:08,509 We'll put it on the front page, bold. 117 00:11:08,948 --> 00:11:11,884 - Some white fluffy clouds. - There you go. 118 00:11:12,284 --> 00:11:14,776 - A drift of sky. - You got it. 119 00:11:14,954 --> 00:11:17,116 And some musical notes. 120 00:11:18,391 --> 00:11:19,689 - Poetry. - Don't play... 121 00:11:19,892 --> 00:11:20,951 ...with me, Quinlan. 122 00:11:21,127 --> 00:11:22,459 You really are... 123 00:11:22,628 --> 00:11:25,530 ...going to go fetch me this angel for Christmas... 124 00:11:25,765 --> 00:11:26,789 ...or... 125 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,164 ...I fire the two of you... 126 00:11:29,468 --> 00:11:31,402 ...and I keep the dog. 127 00:11:32,537 --> 00:11:33,527 Deal. 128 00:11:33,705 --> 00:11:35,970 Need a conference with my colleague. 129 00:11:36,141 --> 00:11:40,203 You cannot live on Fred's salary. You cannot. That's a deal. 130 00:11:40,412 --> 00:11:43,211 Don't you worry about a thing, Mr. Malt. 131 00:11:43,415 --> 00:11:45,475 - We'll leave tomorrow. - Right. 132 00:11:45,650 --> 00:11:46,982 We're taking... 133 00:11:47,152 --> 00:11:48,484 ...Sparky with us. 134 00:11:48,653 --> 00:11:50,053 And Miss Winters. 135 00:11:50,221 --> 00:11:51,280 They are? 136 00:11:51,489 --> 00:11:53,481 - Why are we taking her? - She's an expert. 137 00:11:53,658 --> 00:11:54,557 In what? 138 00:11:54,726 --> 00:11:55,716 Angels. 139 00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:59,427 Miss Winters is an expert in angels. 140 00:12:02,167 --> 00:12:04,329 I have something to tell you. 141 00:12:05,070 --> 00:12:09,508 I won't take care of you anymore. Your parents will find someone else.... 142 00:12:10,742 --> 00:12:12,074 Don't look at me like that. 143 00:12:12,944 --> 00:12:14,640 I have this wonderful new job. 144 00:12:15,013 --> 00:12:19,508 The only problem is, I must pretend to be an angel expert for a few days. 145 00:12:20,085 --> 00:12:21,553 It'll be fine. 146 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,086 I'll be fine. 147 00:12:23,955 --> 00:12:25,753 And so will you. 148 00:12:26,524 --> 00:12:27,958 Good dogs. 149 00:13:23,914 --> 00:13:26,748 - You've had an encounter with an angel? - No. 150 00:13:26,917 --> 00:13:28,010 Yes. 151 00:13:28,152 --> 00:13:29,085 Maybe. 152 00:13:29,253 --> 00:13:31,222 - Have you ever met an angel? - Once. 153 00:13:31,522 --> 00:13:35,084 I got a flat tire on a deserted country road. 154 00:13:35,259 --> 00:13:38,093 There was no food, no water, it was 108 degrees... 155 00:13:38,262 --> 00:13:42,529 ...and a man in a white robe suddenly appeared on the horizon... 156 00:13:42,666 --> 00:13:44,965 ...with a spare and a jack. 157 00:13:45,169 --> 00:13:46,137 Kidding. 158 00:13:46,603 --> 00:13:47,593 I am. 159 00:13:47,771 --> 00:13:49,330 Bradley used to tease. 160 00:13:49,540 --> 00:13:51,031 Who's Bradley? 161 00:13:51,175 --> 00:13:52,768 My ex-husband. 162 00:13:53,343 --> 00:13:54,936 Better watch it, Quinlan. 163 00:13:56,446 --> 00:13:57,937 We should start over. 164 00:13:58,115 --> 00:14:02,075 When something's going wrong, it's best to start over. I'll go first. 165 00:14:03,187 --> 00:14:05,349 - Where did you get Sparky? - Oh, no. 166 00:14:05,556 --> 00:14:07,957 He came up to Huey in a parking lot. 167 00:14:08,125 --> 00:14:10,685 Huey was eating a doughnut, and was trying to kick him away... 168 00:14:11,795 --> 00:14:13,423 You were trying to kick the dog? 169 00:14:16,133 --> 00:14:20,503 I wasn't trying to kick him. I was trying to shoo him away very gently. 170 00:14:20,804 --> 00:14:21,794 ...when... 171 00:14:21,972 --> 00:14:25,272 ...Malt comes out, sees the dog and stops dead. 172 00:14:25,475 --> 00:14:28,673 Seems Malt was once a child who'd had a dog just like... 173 00:14:28,846 --> 00:14:29,939 ...Sparky. 174 00:14:30,214 --> 00:14:31,978 That's so sweet. 175 00:14:33,150 --> 00:14:34,139 Anyway... 176 00:14:34,317 --> 00:14:36,149 ...Malt's eyes get all teary... 177 00:14:36,319 --> 00:14:39,778 ...and he pours out this story, about his dog Sparky... 178 00:14:39,989 --> 00:14:43,187 ...which ended up underneath a tractor tire. 179 00:14:44,727 --> 00:14:46,593 You know what Huey did? 180 00:14:46,729 --> 00:14:49,893 Huey turns to Malt and says, "Mr. Malt, that's amazing! 181 00:14:50,099 --> 00:14:52,500 "This dog's named Sparky too." 182 00:14:55,905 --> 00:14:58,238 In no time at all, the dog is famous. 183 00:14:58,407 --> 00:15:01,536 Has his own column, saved Huey's neck 100 times. 184 00:15:02,745 --> 00:15:05,613 Milk Bottle Motel. Here. Milk Bottle Motel. 185 00:16:21,323 --> 00:16:23,588 Looks like your angel checked out. 186 00:16:28,496 --> 00:16:30,089 Somebody's here. 187 00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,771 Mrs. Milbank? 188 00:16:49,451 --> 00:16:52,615 I'm Frank Quinlan from the National Mirror. 189 00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:55,520 About your letter? 190 00:16:57,625 --> 00:17:00,789 This is my associate, Mr. Hugh Driscoll. 191 00:17:00,962 --> 00:17:02,021 How are you? 192 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:06,133 And this is Dorothy Winters, who is an expert in... 193 00:17:06,534 --> 00:17:07,661 ...various things. 194 00:17:09,104 --> 00:17:10,436 And this is... 195 00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:11,606 ...Sparky. 196 00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:21,649 You're just as handsome as in the pictures. 197 00:17:23,051 --> 00:17:24,485 I think he's cold. 198 00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:28,316 - I wouldn't know why not. - We better get him inside. 199 00:17:34,529 --> 00:17:37,465 Sparky, here you are. 200 00:17:40,134 --> 00:17:42,535 What's that wonderful smell? 201 00:17:43,137 --> 00:17:44,799 You must be baking. 202 00:17:50,544 --> 00:17:53,207 Well, it was nice of you to come. 203 00:18:18,005 --> 00:18:18,904 Don't... 204 00:18:19,073 --> 00:18:20,507 ...shake me, Mr. Quinlan. 205 00:18:21,241 --> 00:18:23,608 I'm contemplating my death. 206 00:18:24,178 --> 00:18:26,044 Are you with the angel? 207 00:18:31,351 --> 00:18:33,513 Do you see an angel? 208 00:18:34,922 --> 00:18:36,515 I don't think I do. 209 00:18:36,690 --> 00:18:39,091 Then how could I be with him? 210 00:18:39,626 --> 00:18:43,427 Well, we don't know exactly how it works with angels. 211 00:18:43,597 --> 00:18:45,031 How it works? 212 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,331 If he's in the room then you're with him. 213 00:18:49,870 --> 00:18:51,702 If he's somewhere else... 214 00:18:51,872 --> 00:18:53,204 ...then you're not. 215 00:18:53,373 --> 00:18:55,865 And that's why we can't see him now? 216 00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:57,238 He's not here. 217 00:18:58,212 --> 00:19:00,340 Are you impaired in some way... 218 00:19:00,481 --> 00:19:02,541 ...that I haven't noticed, Miss? 219 00:19:03,217 --> 00:19:04,276 Ms. Winters... 220 00:19:04,451 --> 00:19:08,616 ...has probably never heard of an angel living in a motel. 221 00:19:10,123 --> 00:19:11,989 You think I'm full of shit. 222 00:19:12,291 --> 00:19:14,624 No, no. Nothing like that. 223 00:19:14,794 --> 00:19:18,959 I don't judge these things. I don't decide what's real or not. 224 00:19:19,132 --> 00:19:23,900 - I've seen too many things myself. - We heard of a werewolf in S. Jersey. 225 00:19:24,070 --> 00:19:27,165 - We went there. - To locate the werewolf. 226 00:19:27,573 --> 00:19:29,599 In that particular case... 227 00:19:29,976 --> 00:19:34,914 ...that person was convinced that the werewolf was in the room with us. 228 00:19:35,081 --> 00:19:38,142 They could see it, although Mr. Quinlan and myself.... 229 00:19:38,317 --> 00:19:41,583 We couldn't, but that doesn't mean it wasn't there. 230 00:19:41,921 --> 00:19:43,321 Michael? 231 00:19:45,758 --> 00:19:47,989 Are you coming down, dear? 232 00:19:48,161 --> 00:19:49,151 Yeah. 233 00:19:50,163 --> 00:19:51,187 Be right down. 234 00:19:51,998 --> 00:19:54,490 Just got to find my smokes. 235 00:19:55,268 --> 00:19:58,432 They're beside the bed, next to my cortisone. 236 00:19:58,771 --> 00:20:00,706 Did you find them? 237 00:20:01,007 --> 00:20:03,374 He'll be down directly. 238 00:20:05,044 --> 00:20:07,343 That smell is so familiar. 239 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,774 It's like something from childhood. 240 00:20:21,561 --> 00:20:23,291 Oh, God. 241 00:20:49,888 --> 00:20:54,155 Michael, look who's come to visit us! It's Sparky. 242 00:21:08,506 --> 00:21:09,735 How do you do? 243 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,120 You'll have to excuse Michael. 244 00:21:31,529 --> 00:21:33,998 He's not good at suffering fools... 245 00:21:34,199 --> 00:21:36,759 ...but he'll be better in the morning. 246 00:22:07,132 --> 00:22:09,294 Where is the thermostat in here? 247 00:22:09,467 --> 00:22:11,561 Are we talking about an angel here? 248 00:22:11,736 --> 00:22:14,398 - We can't be talking about an angel. - There is no such.... 249 00:22:14,638 --> 00:22:16,573 ...thing as an angel. 250 00:22:16,740 --> 00:22:18,072 That is definitely... 251 00:22:18,242 --> 00:22:22,304 ...the weirdest thing I have ever seen. It's like some great big bird... 252 00:22:22,479 --> 00:22:25,972 - ...made love to that guy's mother. - And we reap the benefits. 253 00:22:26,150 --> 00:22:28,483 I'm set for life. I could even get a raise. 254 00:22:28,585 --> 00:22:30,918 I thank you. Thank you, Jesus. 255 00:22:31,088 --> 00:22:33,489 Thank you, Jesus. I thank you, Jesus. 256 00:22:33,657 --> 00:22:35,489 I thank you, Jesus. 257 00:22:44,001 --> 00:22:46,163 - What? - That is not an angel. 258 00:22:46,337 --> 00:22:48,932 - It is too. - It is not. 259 00:22:51,442 --> 00:22:53,172 I will handle this. 260 00:22:55,346 --> 00:22:57,281 Where has he been? 261 00:22:57,448 --> 00:23:00,509 - Meaning what? - Meaning if he were a man with wings... 262 00:23:00,684 --> 00:23:03,848 ...which is the alternative, we'd have heard about him. 263 00:23:04,021 --> 00:23:08,356 You don't show up at his age with wings. There'd be a story in the papers. 264 00:23:08,525 --> 00:23:12,292 - In the National Mirror. - Exactly. "Baby born with wings." 265 00:23:12,463 --> 00:23:14,022 "Bird-man of Iowa." 266 00:23:14,198 --> 00:23:18,465 It's not angel vs. Man with wings. There are other possibilities. 267 00:23:18,635 --> 00:23:20,126 Like what? 268 00:23:20,304 --> 00:23:22,967 It's fairly obvious, isn't it? 269 00:23:23,707 --> 00:23:28,042 He's a younger man. She's an older woman. He's after her money. 270 00:23:28,212 --> 00:23:30,647 A gigolo with wings. 271 00:23:30,814 --> 00:23:31,679 A gigolo. 272 00:23:31,849 --> 00:23:35,980 What money is he after? The Milk Bottle Motel fortune? 273 00:23:36,153 --> 00:23:40,147 You don't have to have money for someone to try to take it. 274 00:23:40,724 --> 00:23:42,886 Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. 275 00:23:43,060 --> 00:23:44,755 Is it so hard to imagine... 276 00:23:44,994 --> 00:23:48,226 ...that a man would be after a woman's money? 277 00:23:48,498 --> 00:23:51,559 Is this Brightly? Or Brinkley? What's his name? 278 00:23:51,734 --> 00:23:53,726 - Bradley. - Is this him we're talking about? 279 00:23:53,903 --> 00:23:56,236 - Actually, no. It's Miles. - Who's Miles? 280 00:23:56,406 --> 00:23:58,170 My second husband. 281 00:23:59,342 --> 00:24:01,675 Miles was wild. It lasted a week. 282 00:24:01,844 --> 00:24:03,005 You left him? 283 00:24:03,179 --> 00:24:05,842 No, he left me, in my Camaro. 284 00:24:08,584 --> 00:24:09,574 I see. 285 00:24:09,752 --> 00:24:14,247 I'll bet he racked up $5,000 on your Visa bill too, didn't he? Didn't he? 286 00:24:14,424 --> 00:24:16,689 You just know everything, don't you? 287 00:24:18,594 --> 00:24:20,358 Angels don't smoke. 288 00:24:22,031 --> 00:24:23,431 I'm going to sleep. 289 00:24:23,599 --> 00:24:24,862 Good night. 290 00:24:28,771 --> 00:24:30,763 Don't let the bedbugs bite. 291 00:24:30,940 --> 00:24:33,034 That is a horrible expression. 292 00:24:34,043 --> 00:24:35,534 It is not... 293 00:24:35,711 --> 00:24:37,873 ...an expression. 294 00:25:11,781 --> 00:25:13,249 That's good. 295 00:25:15,251 --> 00:25:16,809 He's so hungry. 296 00:25:18,487 --> 00:25:19,580 Oh, boy. 297 00:25:25,494 --> 00:25:26,985 Good boy. 298 00:25:27,929 --> 00:25:30,330 What a sweet doggie. 299 00:25:33,935 --> 00:25:36,370 How would you like your eggs, Mr. Quinlan? 300 00:25:36,771 --> 00:25:38,603 Sparky's look good. 301 00:25:38,773 --> 00:25:40,503 Over easy! 302 00:25:55,790 --> 00:25:58,624 Last night we were discussing your wings. 303 00:25:58,793 --> 00:26:01,058 Would you mind if I took a closer look? 304 00:26:02,297 --> 00:26:06,792 Let them look at your wings, Michael. They're from the National Mirror. 305 00:26:06,968 --> 00:26:08,027 Thank you. 306 00:26:10,372 --> 00:26:12,307 - Not bad. - Compared to what? 307 00:26:12,474 --> 00:26:15,706 - I've seen birds. - Would you mind if I touched? 308 00:26:17,379 --> 00:26:18,870 I'd rather you didn't. 309 00:26:21,316 --> 00:26:25,720 We'd like to take a look to see how you have these things attached. 310 00:26:25,887 --> 00:26:28,721 Pull on your pecker and see how that's attached. 311 00:26:28,890 --> 00:26:31,223 Watch your language, mister. 312 00:26:31,393 --> 00:26:34,158 Pecker. An angel that says pecker. 313 00:26:34,329 --> 00:26:35,558 Language... 314 00:26:35,730 --> 00:26:36,993 ...gentlemen. 315 00:26:37,732 --> 00:26:39,667 How would you like your eggs? 316 00:26:39,834 --> 00:26:42,827 What's in the oven? The smell is so delicious. 317 00:26:43,004 --> 00:26:45,667 We are serving eggs this morning and that's that. 318 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,399 Over easy would be just fine. 319 00:26:48,576 --> 00:26:50,238 Over easy! 320 00:26:51,912 --> 00:26:53,437 I thought angels were... 321 00:26:54,248 --> 00:26:55,409 ...cleaner. 322 00:26:56,183 --> 00:26:58,914 She doesn't mean to offend. It's.... 323 00:26:59,253 --> 00:27:03,247 Miss Winters is an angel expert and she gets kind of... 324 00:27:03,424 --> 00:27:06,451 ...literal. What she probably wants to know is... 325 00:27:08,429 --> 00:27:10,193 - ...can you fly? - I don't... 326 00:27:10,364 --> 00:27:14,460 ...want to know if he can fly. He can't. Only little angels... 327 00:27:14,702 --> 00:27:16,034 Says who? 328 00:27:16,203 --> 00:27:17,694 I just thought.... 329 00:27:18,072 --> 00:27:20,200 Halos? Inner light? 330 00:27:21,709 --> 00:27:24,042 I'm not that kind of angel. 331 00:27:24,211 --> 00:27:28,046 - What kind of angel are you? - Michael is an archangel. 332 00:27:28,215 --> 00:27:32,118 He battled Lucifer and threw him out of Heaven. 333 00:27:32,620 --> 00:27:34,384 Revelation Twelve, verse seven. 334 00:27:34,555 --> 00:27:36,114 That was a long time ago. 335 00:27:36,290 --> 00:27:39,385 He smote a bank for me. 336 00:27:39,994 --> 00:27:42,554 - A bank? - I knew it. Money was involved, right? 337 00:27:43,130 --> 00:27:45,565 I should say so. 338 00:27:45,733 --> 00:27:47,634 - After Elmer died.... - Who's Elmer? 339 00:27:47,901 --> 00:27:49,961 My husband. After he died... 340 00:27:50,137 --> 00:27:54,165 ...they built the highway and stole all my truckers. 341 00:27:54,642 --> 00:27:56,235 And then the bank... 342 00:27:56,410 --> 00:27:57,469 ...came to... 343 00:27:57,645 --> 00:27:59,739 ...take the Milk Bottle... 344 00:27:59,913 --> 00:28:01,973 ...and I prayed for help... 345 00:28:03,250 --> 00:28:05,810 ...until God sent me Michael. 346 00:28:05,986 --> 00:28:07,750 She was persistent. 347 00:28:07,921 --> 00:28:08,980 You came... 348 00:28:09,156 --> 00:28:11,318 ...down and smote the bank? 349 00:28:11,492 --> 00:28:14,257 A branch. First Iowa Bank of Commerce. 350 00:28:14,428 --> 00:28:18,126 It was lovely. He walked into the manager's office and said.... 351 00:28:18,599 --> 00:28:20,999 - What was that you said? - Money changer! 352 00:28:21,167 --> 00:28:23,261 "Money changer... 353 00:28:23,436 --> 00:28:27,999 "...I shall turneth this earthly den into a parking lot." 354 00:28:28,775 --> 00:28:30,767 Did I say that? I didn't say that. 355 00:28:30,943 --> 00:28:34,675 They didn't believe us, so Michael flattened it. 356 00:28:34,847 --> 00:28:36,179 - You did that? - Had to. 357 00:28:36,349 --> 00:28:38,784 Into a parking lot? 358 00:28:39,018 --> 00:28:41,783 Well, they said it was a tornado. 359 00:28:43,189 --> 00:28:47,957 This town doesn't really need a parking lot, but it's more... 360 00:28:48,127 --> 00:28:49,959 ...cosmopolitan. 361 00:28:51,130 --> 00:28:52,530 And what about the money? 362 00:28:52,699 --> 00:28:55,362 We never heard another word about it. Did we? 363 00:28:55,535 --> 00:28:56,628 Nope. 364 00:28:57,303 --> 00:28:58,464 You look like... 365 00:28:58,638 --> 00:29:01,130 ...you must eat a robust breakfast. 366 00:29:01,307 --> 00:29:03,367 How would you like your eggs? 367 00:29:06,646 --> 00:29:07,978 Poached? 368 00:29:09,482 --> 00:29:11,474 That's.... Poached is fine. 369 00:29:11,651 --> 00:29:13,313 Poached. 370 00:29:32,572 --> 00:29:35,565 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. 371 00:29:35,742 --> 00:29:38,576 "He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. 372 00:29:38,745 --> 00:29:41,340 "He leadeth me beside the still waters...." 373 00:29:42,014 --> 00:29:45,416 Look, she's happier where she is, right? 374 00:29:46,753 --> 00:29:47,914 Heaven? 375 00:29:49,422 --> 00:29:51,186 She's happier up there? 376 00:29:51,424 --> 00:29:53,585 It isn't my area. 377 00:30:00,766 --> 00:30:02,928 You hardly knew her. 378 00:30:03,101 --> 00:30:05,764 She died cooking us breakfast. 379 00:30:08,707 --> 00:30:10,699 She died making breakfast. 380 00:30:17,783 --> 00:30:21,276 What is it that you keep writing in that book? 381 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,052 Lyrics. 382 00:30:24,055 --> 00:30:25,284 To what? 383 00:30:25,557 --> 00:30:27,549 I write Country Western songs. 384 00:30:27,726 --> 00:30:29,456 It's my hobby. 385 00:30:30,796 --> 00:30:32,287 "Earth to earth... 386 00:30:32,631 --> 00:30:34,463 "...ashes to ashes... 387 00:30:35,567 --> 00:30:37,297 "...and dust to dust. 388 00:30:38,303 --> 00:30:39,965 "The Lord bless and keep you... 389 00:30:40,138 --> 00:30:41,663 "...and give you peace." 390 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,810 Justine? It's Quinlan. Put me straight through. 391 00:30:44,976 --> 00:30:46,410 What you got? 392 00:30:46,745 --> 00:30:48,145 Wings. 393 00:30:48,313 --> 00:30:49,747 Real wings. 394 00:30:49,915 --> 00:30:51,474 Don't play with me, Quinlan. 395 00:30:51,650 --> 00:30:54,586 This guy is about six feet tall. 396 00:30:54,753 --> 00:30:58,747 He has wings from his shoulders to his knees. But he's filthy. 397 00:30:58,924 --> 00:31:01,826 We'll have to clean him and put him in a white robe. 398 00:31:01,993 --> 00:31:06,761 Get Craddock to dig up those sandals with the straps that go up your legs. 399 00:31:06,932 --> 00:31:08,491 Too bad he's not blond. 400 00:31:08,667 --> 00:31:10,499 Angels are supposed to be blond. 401 00:31:10,669 --> 00:31:13,764 But "Oprah," Barbara, "The Today Show..." 402 00:31:13,939 --> 00:31:15,771 "...Hard Copy," book the works. 403 00:31:15,941 --> 00:31:17,603 Don't mess this one up. 404 00:31:17,776 --> 00:31:20,940 I want that guy on the first plane to Chicago. 405 00:31:21,112 --> 00:31:22,978 Or does the bird-man fly himself? 406 00:31:23,347 --> 00:31:26,784 I don't know if he actually uses the wings, but God... 407 00:31:26,951 --> 00:31:28,317 ...wouldn't that be a draw? 408 00:31:28,953 --> 00:31:31,445 Don't worry. He's in safe hands. 409 00:31:31,622 --> 00:31:33,352 And I'm the Queen of England. 410 00:31:33,524 --> 00:31:35,618 Don't fret, Malt. 411 00:31:38,195 --> 00:31:39,788 He's in safe hands. 412 00:31:39,964 --> 00:31:42,695 In view of this, should we call the girl off? 413 00:31:42,867 --> 00:31:45,359 No, no, leave her where she is. 414 00:31:45,536 --> 00:31:48,028 I'm in a no-lose situation. 415 00:31:58,415 --> 00:31:59,610 Hey, Mike. 416 00:31:59,750 --> 00:32:01,116 Michael. 417 00:32:05,623 --> 00:32:07,251 Have you... 418 00:32:07,625 --> 00:32:10,618 ...ever seen the world's biggest ball of twine? 419 00:32:11,262 --> 00:32:12,355 No. 420 00:32:13,030 --> 00:32:14,123 We must go... 421 00:32:14,531 --> 00:32:18,229 I saw the world's biggest cannonball. Mesopotamia. 422 00:32:18,702 --> 00:32:22,434 - I wonder if it's still there. - Mesopotamia isn't still there. 423 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,506 - Nothing lasts. - Listen.... 424 00:32:25,442 --> 00:32:27,536 I have to ask a favor. 425 00:32:28,145 --> 00:32:32,139 Huey and I, we're on a little bit of a losing streak. 426 00:32:32,283 --> 00:32:33,546 Quit. 427 00:32:34,151 --> 00:32:38,213 We can't. He's got a mortgage. Three kids in a soccer camp. 428 00:32:38,389 --> 00:32:39,550 A wife. 429 00:32:39,723 --> 00:32:41,055 God knows he loves her... 430 00:32:41,225 --> 00:32:44,161 ...but she's burning a hole in his pocket, and I.... 431 00:32:46,163 --> 00:32:47,062 Well.... 432 00:32:47,231 --> 00:32:49,962 Love to fight. Like me. We'll drive. 433 00:32:50,467 --> 00:32:51,400 Where? 434 00:32:51,568 --> 00:32:53,799 Chicago. Isn't that where you want to go? 435 00:32:54,905 --> 00:32:56,964 I know. That's why I wrote you. 436 00:32:57,173 --> 00:32:58,300 You wrote? 437 00:32:58,474 --> 00:32:59,965 Yeah. My idea. 438 00:33:01,678 --> 00:33:03,476 Why are we driving? 439 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:08,984 I mean, why don't we fly? All of us together in a plane. 440 00:33:09,986 --> 00:33:13,184 It's safer. Much safer. Nobody believes it... 441 00:33:13,423 --> 00:33:15,688 ...but statistically it's true... 442 00:33:16,192 --> 00:33:17,990 - ...and the paper'll pay. - Nope. 443 00:33:18,194 --> 00:33:20,425 - We need time. - Time for what? 444 00:33:20,596 --> 00:33:21,586 Smokes. 445 00:33:21,764 --> 00:33:23,926 Smokes. Besides... 446 00:33:24,100 --> 00:33:27,696 ...I'll get to see the world's largest ball of twine. 447 00:33:28,438 --> 00:33:29,770 - It's on the way. - Great. 448 00:33:29,939 --> 00:33:32,272 - You'll owe me something. - Money? 449 00:33:32,442 --> 00:33:37,210 I can't quote a figure, but there'll be plenty of money, I promise you that... 450 00:33:37,347 --> 00:33:38,713 ...once the world sees... 451 00:33:38,848 --> 00:33:41,079 - ...pictures of these babies. - No. 452 00:33:41,517 --> 00:33:45,079 - You'll owe me an apology. - An apology, for what? 453 00:33:45,355 --> 00:33:47,221 Sure, I apologize. Whatever. 454 00:33:47,357 --> 00:33:49,519 Not now. When I say so. 455 00:33:49,726 --> 00:33:51,024 And no pictures. 456 00:33:51,227 --> 00:33:53,719 No pictures? Are you kidding me? 457 00:33:53,863 --> 00:33:55,855 Not until we get to Chicago. 458 00:33:56,799 --> 00:33:57,858 Deal? 459 00:33:58,634 --> 00:33:59,727 Deal. 460 00:34:08,478 --> 00:34:10,242 I like your coat better. 461 00:34:10,380 --> 00:34:11,814 It's yours. 462 00:34:35,270 --> 00:34:38,399 The world's biggest ball of twine is two hours from here. 463 00:34:38,573 --> 00:34:41,270 I'd like to see it before the sun sets. 464 00:34:41,410 --> 00:34:45,347 - They'll exploit you. You must know. - I'm going. 465 00:34:45,514 --> 00:34:48,074 Well I'm not. For your sake. 466 00:34:48,283 --> 00:34:51,811 You are or I'll have to tell them the truth about you. 467 00:34:52,020 --> 00:34:53,010 What? 468 00:34:53,422 --> 00:34:55,015 I know why you're here... 469 00:34:55,190 --> 00:34:58,024 ...and it has nothing to do with angels. 470 00:34:58,193 --> 00:34:59,786 How do you know? 471 00:35:01,196 --> 00:35:02,926 I pay attention. 472 00:35:11,706 --> 00:35:12,605 Also... 473 00:35:12,808 --> 00:35:14,436 - ...I'd like you to sing. - A song? 474 00:35:14,609 --> 00:35:15,542 Of course. 475 00:35:16,445 --> 00:35:17,708 Fine. 476 00:35:17,879 --> 00:35:19,313 I'll sing. 477 00:35:19,815 --> 00:35:21,113 Now? 478 00:35:21,716 --> 00:35:23,116 When I tell you to. 479 00:36:28,883 --> 00:36:30,181 In the national news: 480 00:36:30,384 --> 00:36:34,788 Hog futures are down 1/4 in Chicago and selling down 1/8 in Sioux City. 481 00:36:34,955 --> 00:36:36,389 Hog futures. 482 00:36:43,597 --> 00:36:45,589 Hog futures are down 1/4. 483 00:36:48,135 --> 00:36:50,195 - What's the opposite of white? - Black. 484 00:36:50,404 --> 00:36:52,134 Wrong. Yolk. 485 00:36:58,412 --> 00:37:00,313 Is that like an egg joke? 486 00:37:00,481 --> 00:37:04,043 When we stop to eat will you put your coat back on? 487 00:37:04,218 --> 00:37:06,210 - Why? - Your wings. 488 00:37:06,420 --> 00:37:07,979 People will see your wings. 489 00:37:08,155 --> 00:37:10,715 Are you afraid they'll think less of you? 490 00:37:13,327 --> 00:37:15,228 They won't know what to think. 491 00:37:15,429 --> 00:37:18,661 Many people aren't as sophisticated as me and Huey. 492 00:37:19,567 --> 00:37:22,731 We don't want any trouble. We want to get to Chicago. 493 00:37:23,704 --> 00:37:26,367 He's worried somebody might try to steal his story. 494 00:37:26,574 --> 00:37:28,668 - I'm not worried. - You're worried. 495 00:37:29,977 --> 00:37:31,569 Look what Pansy left us. 496 00:37:31,744 --> 00:37:33,474 Car Bingo. 497 00:37:34,013 --> 00:37:36,005 Dig the propaganda. 498 00:37:36,249 --> 00:37:40,744 "The miles will fly and your children won't cry if you play... 499 00:37:40,954 --> 00:37:42,252 "...Car Bingo." 500 00:37:42,455 --> 00:37:44,686 All right. Everybody gets one. 501 00:37:44,857 --> 00:37:46,189 Here. Hand them out. 502 00:37:46,359 --> 00:37:48,851 - What do we do? - Here are the pencils. 503 00:37:49,596 --> 00:37:52,395 Instead of writing a number you write what you see. 504 00:37:54,534 --> 00:37:56,025 Dog. One point for me. 505 00:37:56,202 --> 00:38:00,037 - Not fair! You played this before. - Not fair to me, I'm driving. 506 00:38:00,206 --> 00:38:01,970 Deal with it. Bird on a wire. 507 00:38:02,108 --> 00:38:03,701 - Picket fence. - Policeman. 508 00:38:03,876 --> 00:38:05,208 Where? 509 00:38:12,485 --> 00:38:13,885 That was good. 510 00:38:16,623 --> 00:38:18,114 You must learn to laugh. 511 00:38:18,291 --> 00:38:19,725 It's the way to true love. 512 00:38:48,488 --> 00:38:50,650 "The world's largest ball of twine... 513 00:38:50,823 --> 00:38:53,759 - "...has a circumference of 45 ft...." - What's the excuse? 514 00:38:53,926 --> 00:38:57,522 It'll take longer because we must stay off the highway. 515 00:38:57,664 --> 00:38:58,654 Fly. 516 00:38:58,831 --> 00:39:00,527 - He won't fly. - Why? 517 00:39:00,667 --> 00:39:04,034 He can't fit in coach. His wings take too much space. 518 00:39:04,202 --> 00:39:05,602 You'll pay first class? 519 00:39:05,771 --> 00:39:06,830 Drive. 520 00:39:07,005 --> 00:39:10,169 "...it was transported here. There's enough twine...." 521 00:39:18,350 --> 00:39:19,682 Battle. 522 00:39:25,924 --> 00:39:27,950 Don't worry. What can happen? 523 00:39:28,126 --> 00:39:29,685 Trust me. Nothing. 524 00:39:30,929 --> 00:39:32,795 Don't fret, Malt. 525 00:39:38,704 --> 00:39:41,299 What are you doing? 526 00:39:49,381 --> 00:39:50,815 Battle! 527 00:40:06,498 --> 00:40:07,989 You know what that is? 528 00:40:09,401 --> 00:40:10,733 Battle. 529 00:40:19,411 --> 00:40:20,845 Michael, don't. 530 00:40:49,707 --> 00:40:52,438 I am completely happy. 531 00:40:52,777 --> 00:40:55,770 Are you all right? Can you feel your legs. 532 00:40:58,549 --> 00:41:02,384 No injuries. Six thousand three hundred and sixty battles. 533 00:41:02,853 --> 00:41:04,082 Can you sit up? 534 00:41:04,288 --> 00:41:06,280 Of course I can sit up. 535 00:41:10,394 --> 00:41:11,794 Now, that... 536 00:41:11,962 --> 00:41:13,897 ...that is my nature. 537 00:41:15,065 --> 00:41:19,298 But I'm doomed to live in one place and crave the pleasures of another. 538 00:41:19,470 --> 00:41:21,803 But don't you feel sorry for me. 539 00:41:21,972 --> 00:41:23,463 Why would we? 540 00:41:23,674 --> 00:41:28,305 Because this is my last blast. 26. That's all we get. Thank you, Quinlan. 541 00:41:28,746 --> 00:41:29,805 For what? 542 00:41:29,980 --> 00:41:33,178 I think he's saying there's no sex in Heaven. 543 00:41:33,317 --> 00:41:38,187 It's not polite to talk about someone in the third person when the person's here. 544 00:41:38,322 --> 00:41:40,257 I know. I'm very sorry. Sparky! 545 00:41:40,424 --> 00:41:41,983 What do you mean... 546 00:41:43,194 --> 00:41:45,254 ...last blast? 547 00:41:45,596 --> 00:41:47,622 Only so many visits allowed. 548 00:41:50,835 --> 00:41:53,999 I'm going to miss everything so much. 549 00:42:06,449 --> 00:42:07,576 Why are you here? 550 00:42:08,685 --> 00:42:11,519 Why are you saying it has anything to do with me? 551 00:42:16,459 --> 00:42:20,487 The Sun had an argument with the North Wind. Who was smarter? Stronger? 552 00:42:20,663 --> 00:42:23,258 The North Wind pointed out a man walking down the street. 553 00:42:23,466 --> 00:42:25,958 "I can make that man take his coat off and you can't." 554 00:42:26,135 --> 00:42:29,628 "I'll take that bet," said the Sun. The North Wind blew and the more... 555 00:42:29,806 --> 00:42:32,970 ...that wind blew, the tighter that man held that coat around himself. 556 00:42:33,543 --> 00:42:34,875 And then the Sun... 557 00:42:35,044 --> 00:42:36,637 ...came out and smiled... 558 00:42:36,813 --> 00:42:38,372 ...and it became warmer, and... 559 00:42:38,548 --> 00:42:40,312 ...the man took off his coat. 560 00:42:45,755 --> 00:42:48,748 What is that supposed to mean? 561 00:42:48,892 --> 00:42:53,262 - Did you make a bet about me? - I had to get back here somehow. 562 00:42:53,396 --> 00:42:55,558 Watch the wings there, buddy. 563 00:43:16,786 --> 00:43:18,687 That's not how you eat a lemon. 564 00:43:19,289 --> 00:43:20,985 How do you eat a lemon? 565 00:43:22,692 --> 00:43:24,058 You cut it in half... 566 00:43:25,595 --> 00:43:28,087 - ...put salt on it. - That's how you eat a lemon. 567 00:43:28,298 --> 00:43:31,097 - That is how you eat a lemon. - What is this, a rule? 568 00:43:35,204 --> 00:43:36,695 Hey, you too. 569 00:43:41,310 --> 00:43:43,541 - Thank you. - Do you have pie? 570 00:43:47,382 --> 00:43:49,044 Do you have pie? 571 00:44:00,329 --> 00:44:01,695 I'm a writer too. 572 00:44:01,863 --> 00:44:03,729 Really. What did you write? 573 00:44:03,899 --> 00:44:05,333 Psalm eighty-five. 574 00:44:06,868 --> 00:44:09,565 It wasn't called Psalm 85 when I wrote it. 575 00:44:09,738 --> 00:44:12,537 I didn't know they'd be collected and numbered. 576 00:44:21,083 --> 00:44:24,349 That was around the time I invented standing in line. 577 00:44:24,486 --> 00:44:26,352 You invented standing in line? 578 00:44:26,488 --> 00:44:29,048 Before everybody milled around. It was a mess. 579 00:44:29,491 --> 00:44:32,154 So one day I said, "Why not make a line?" 580 00:44:32,361 --> 00:44:33,294 For what? 581 00:44:33,996 --> 00:44:35,362 To get in. 582 00:44:35,497 --> 00:44:38,490 - Ask him what you want to know. - What do I want to know? 583 00:44:38,667 --> 00:44:41,432 He wants to know why angels don't solve big problems. 584 00:44:41,603 --> 00:44:43,162 That is what I want to know. 585 00:44:43,372 --> 00:44:44,601 Why don't angels... 586 00:44:44,773 --> 00:44:46,173 ...solve big problems? 587 00:44:47,509 --> 00:44:50,274 You can't change the nature of the world. 588 00:44:50,445 --> 00:44:51,879 What can you do? 589 00:44:52,014 --> 00:44:54,142 Small miracles, only so many. 590 00:44:54,883 --> 00:44:57,011 Some angels aren't so smart. 591 00:44:57,185 --> 00:45:00,178 - They use them up in stupid ways. - Like the parking... 592 00:45:00,389 --> 00:45:01,448 ...space angel. 593 00:45:02,424 --> 00:45:04,416 I don't like to criticize other angels. 594 00:45:08,296 --> 00:45:10,264 I'll be with you in a minute. 595 00:45:14,468 --> 00:45:17,028 This is how you eat a lemon. 596 00:45:21,008 --> 00:45:22,135 Excuse me. 597 00:45:22,410 --> 00:45:23,503 They want me. 598 00:45:24,645 --> 00:45:27,410 - Remember what John and Paul said. - The Apostles? 599 00:45:27,548 --> 00:45:28,880 No, the Beatles. 600 00:45:29,050 --> 00:45:30,814 "All you need is love." 601 00:45:31,652 --> 00:45:33,553 Hello there, ladies. 602 00:45:41,228 --> 00:45:42,662 Do you believe in angels? 603 00:45:42,830 --> 00:45:43,923 Absolutely. 604 00:45:44,065 --> 00:45:47,058 Have you ever heard of an angel that was interested in sex? 605 00:45:47,234 --> 00:45:48,327 Of course not. 606 00:45:48,502 --> 00:45:50,232 Angels do not have sex. 607 00:45:50,438 --> 00:45:52,066 - But is there one? - I suppose... 608 00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:54,333 ...he invented standing in line. 609 00:45:56,177 --> 00:45:58,237 I'm going to take you for a walk. 610 00:46:00,047 --> 00:46:01,037 Let's go. 611 00:46:13,694 --> 00:46:15,526 Suzanne, what's going on? 612 00:47:46,352 --> 00:47:47,650 Follow me, ladies. 613 00:47:48,621 --> 00:47:49,953 Follow me. 614 00:48:12,778 --> 00:48:15,338 I invented the hole in the coffee cup. 615 00:48:16,081 --> 00:48:18,073 When you get coffee to go. 616 00:48:19,151 --> 00:48:22,883 I was the first person to rip the little hole in the lid... 617 00:48:23,088 --> 00:48:24,716 ...so you could drink it in the car. 618 00:48:24,990 --> 00:48:27,391 - Could've made a fortune. - It's weird. 619 00:48:27,593 --> 00:48:30,324 - What? - She's an angel expert, but... 620 00:48:30,495 --> 00:48:31,588 What? 621 00:48:34,233 --> 00:48:35,599 Battle. 622 00:48:44,610 --> 00:48:46,044 For God's sake, Michael... 623 00:48:46,245 --> 00:48:47,338 ...stop. 624 00:49:05,130 --> 00:49:08,032 - Battle. - You better believe it. 625 00:49:36,261 --> 00:49:38,389 It's caramels. He smell like caramels. 626 00:49:38,563 --> 00:49:39,895 It's cotton candy. 627 00:49:40,065 --> 00:49:44,866 He smells like cookies. The smell gets stronger when he's in heat. 628 00:50:19,837 --> 00:50:21,829 You are a great fighter. 629 00:50:22,006 --> 00:50:23,201 Certainly am. 630 00:50:23,441 --> 00:50:24,602 I'm cold. 631 00:50:26,344 --> 00:50:28,108 You from the National Mirror? 632 00:50:28,279 --> 00:50:29,770 I got a 2-headed chicken... 633 00:50:29,947 --> 00:50:31,711 ...if you're interested. 634 00:50:31,849 --> 00:50:33,112 What are we held for? 635 00:50:33,517 --> 00:50:35,850 Destruction of property, assault... 636 00:50:36,020 --> 00:50:38,615 ...disturbing the peace. The Magistrate... 637 00:50:38,789 --> 00:50:40,348 ...will be here in the morning. 638 00:50:40,524 --> 00:50:42,789 - I had nothing to do with this. - 'Night. 639 00:50:44,295 --> 00:50:46,457 We have a phone call coming to us. 640 00:51:02,246 --> 00:51:06,809 Ralph got thrown in jail, but at least he had the decency to keep me out of it. 641 00:51:06,984 --> 00:51:09,044 I don't want to spend the night here. 642 00:51:09,253 --> 00:51:10,482 I hate you. 643 00:51:10,654 --> 00:51:12,054 What? You hate me? 644 00:51:12,256 --> 00:51:13,815 - Not you. - You hate me? 645 00:51:13,991 --> 00:51:16,323 - Not you. - Process of elimination. 646 00:51:16,493 --> 00:51:17,825 Who's Ralph? 647 00:51:17,994 --> 00:51:19,656 Another... 648 00:51:19,829 --> 00:51:21,263 ...husband... 649 00:51:21,831 --> 00:51:23,163 ...has popped up. 650 00:51:23,333 --> 00:51:24,995 Maybe Sparky can get us out. 651 00:51:28,838 --> 00:51:30,898 Go in the drawer and get the key. 652 00:51:35,979 --> 00:51:37,709 Go in the drawer... 653 00:51:37,881 --> 00:51:39,873 ...and get the key. 654 00:51:42,218 --> 00:51:43,777 Dorothy can make him do it. 655 00:51:44,587 --> 00:51:47,785 Dorothy's good with dogs. I have noticed this. 656 00:51:47,924 --> 00:51:50,086 Dogs don't talk. 657 00:51:51,594 --> 00:51:52,857 They don't shave. 658 00:51:53,196 --> 00:51:55,927 They don't run off in your Camaro. 659 00:51:57,300 --> 00:52:01,101 When you want them to take a bath, you make an appointment. 660 00:52:01,304 --> 00:52:02,932 Sit. Stay. 661 00:52:03,106 --> 00:52:04,438 Roll over. 662 00:52:08,378 --> 00:52:09,539 Now. 663 00:52:11,948 --> 00:52:12,938 What? 664 00:52:13,116 --> 00:52:14,448 Apologize. 665 00:52:14,951 --> 00:52:16,419 Say you're sorry. 666 00:52:16,619 --> 00:52:17,882 To her? 667 00:52:18,221 --> 00:52:19,416 Be serious. 668 00:52:20,623 --> 00:52:21,716 Or... 669 00:52:21,891 --> 00:52:24,122 ...I am not going to.... 670 00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:25,623 "Chicago... 671 00:52:25,829 --> 00:52:27,058 "...Chicago... 672 00:52:27,230 --> 00:52:30,359 "...that toddling town, that toddling town. 673 00:52:30,567 --> 00:52:31,830 "Chicago... 674 00:52:31,968 --> 00:52:32,901 "...Chicago. 675 00:52:33,069 --> 00:52:35,231 "I'll show you around. 676 00:52:35,405 --> 00:52:37,237 "You'll love it." 677 00:52:40,743 --> 00:52:41,870 Sorry. 678 00:53:02,598 --> 00:53:03,930 I'm sorry. 679 00:53:07,669 --> 00:53:09,001 I'm sorry. 680 00:53:13,442 --> 00:53:15,001 I didn't mean it. 681 00:53:31,126 --> 00:53:32,287 You cold? 682 00:53:36,198 --> 00:53:38,292 Here, take my blanket, okay? 683 00:53:57,819 --> 00:53:59,549 I'm going to sleep. 684 00:54:01,657 --> 00:54:02,920 Me too. 685 00:54:57,979 --> 00:55:00,107 All rise, all rise. 686 00:55:00,281 --> 00:55:04,218 Bickel County Court is in session, Hon. Judge Esther Newberg presiding. 687 00:55:04,385 --> 00:55:05,785 Please rise. 688 00:55:11,726 --> 00:55:13,058 Be seated. 689 00:55:15,796 --> 00:55:16,729 Now... 690 00:55:17,565 --> 00:55:19,397 ...you are charged with... 691 00:55:19,567 --> 00:55:22,298 ...disturbing the peace, destruction of property. 692 00:55:22,503 --> 00:55:23,732 $1,200 worth. 693 00:55:23,904 --> 00:55:25,133 I spoke to Jenny. 694 00:55:25,306 --> 00:55:26,740 Who's... 695 00:55:27,008 --> 00:55:28,636 - ...Jenny? - That's his wife. 696 00:55:28,809 --> 00:55:31,244 That sweet painting above the bar... 697 00:55:31,412 --> 00:55:35,144 "...Two Moose Hunters in a Canoe," smashed to smithereens. 698 00:55:35,316 --> 00:55:36,648 That is so sad. 699 00:55:37,251 --> 00:55:39,914 - Isn't this a conflict of interest? - Did I say... 700 00:55:40,087 --> 00:55:41,385 ...you could speak? 701 00:55:44,125 --> 00:55:47,061 I know someone who restores paintings. I said: 702 00:55:47,261 --> 00:55:49,753 "Stop crying, I'll take care of it." 703 00:55:49,930 --> 00:55:53,093 Who can tell me exactly what happened... 704 00:55:53,266 --> 00:55:54,325 ...last night? 705 00:55:54,534 --> 00:55:55,832 I can. 706 00:55:56,269 --> 00:55:58,329 - Anyone else? - We were having dinner. 707 00:55:58,538 --> 00:56:00,166 - Not you. - If I may. 708 00:56:00,340 --> 00:56:01,831 Put your hand down. 709 00:56:03,109 --> 00:56:04,168 You. 710 00:56:04,344 --> 00:56:05,312 Please. 711 00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:08,114 In chambers. 712 00:56:09,783 --> 00:56:11,342 All rise, all rise. 713 00:56:11,551 --> 00:56:14,214 The court of Bickel County, Judge Esther Newberg presiding... 714 00:56:14,454 --> 00:56:15,854 ...is now in recess. 715 00:56:16,056 --> 00:56:17,456 Please rise. 716 00:56:32,772 --> 00:56:36,436 "Love, love, love. 717 00:56:38,878 --> 00:56:42,815 "Love, love, love. 718 00:56:44,784 --> 00:56:47,720 "Love, love, love. 719 00:56:49,022 --> 00:56:50,718 "It's easy. 720 00:56:51,591 --> 00:56:53,992 "All you need is love. 721 00:56:55,595 --> 00:56:57,996 "All you need is love. 722 00:56:59,499 --> 00:57:01,730 "All you need is love, love. 723 00:57:03,403 --> 00:57:05,235 "Love is all you need. 724 00:57:05,405 --> 00:57:09,103 "There's nothing you can know that isn't known. 725 00:57:09,242 --> 00:57:12,610 "There's no one you can save that can't be saved. 726 00:57:12,746 --> 00:57:14,681 "Nothing you sing can't be sung. 727 00:57:14,848 --> 00:57:17,113 "But you can learn how to play the game. 728 00:57:17,250 --> 00:57:19,116 "It's easy. 729 00:57:19,252 --> 00:57:22,017 "All you need is love." 730 00:57:22,422 --> 00:57:23,684 Come on, sing. 731 00:57:23,856 --> 00:57:25,347 "All you need is love." 732 00:57:25,524 --> 00:57:27,516 Not you. Not yet. 733 00:57:27,693 --> 00:57:29,025 "All you need is love." 734 00:57:29,194 --> 00:57:30,355 Just the guys. 735 00:57:30,529 --> 00:57:31,622 Come on, fellas. 736 00:57:31,764 --> 00:57:33,130 "Love is all you need. 737 00:57:33,265 --> 00:57:35,200 - "Love is all you need" - Bring it down. 738 00:57:51,784 --> 00:57:53,218 Wait a minute. Wait. 739 00:57:53,385 --> 00:57:55,149 - Meadsboro, one mile. - So? 740 00:57:55,654 --> 00:57:59,455 That's where the world's largest non-stick frying pan is. 741 00:57:59,658 --> 00:58:04,392 We are not stopping to see the world's largest non-stick frying pan. 742 00:58:04,563 --> 00:58:07,055 - Why not? - Because we have to get back. 743 00:58:07,299 --> 00:58:09,393 Me too. But before that happens... 744 00:58:09,568 --> 00:58:12,800 ...I'd like to see the largest non-stick frying pan. 745 00:58:12,971 --> 00:58:16,066 - It is on the way. - When we stop, he gets us in trouble. 746 00:58:16,241 --> 00:58:18,210 He also gets us out of trouble. 747 00:58:19,578 --> 00:58:21,809 What? Well, he does. 748 00:58:21,980 --> 00:58:24,916 That judge just took one look at him and.... 749 00:58:25,083 --> 00:58:26,244 What is that? 750 00:58:26,418 --> 00:58:28,580 What is it about you? 751 00:58:29,755 --> 00:58:32,088 As a woman, could you explain that? 752 00:58:32,257 --> 00:58:35,750 How should I know? I'm not the least bit attracted to him. 753 00:58:35,928 --> 00:58:38,693 - No offense, but I'm not. - I put a block on you. 754 00:58:38,831 --> 00:58:40,766 - Sure. - I did. 755 00:58:40,933 --> 00:58:41,923 All right. 756 00:58:42,100 --> 00:58:43,261 To continue. 757 00:58:43,936 --> 00:58:46,997 "Presumably, this frying pan was coated... 758 00:58:47,206 --> 00:58:49,107 "...with Teflon to save a wee bit... 759 00:58:49,274 --> 00:58:52,767 "...on the amount of cholesterol ingested by the town of Meadsboro... 760 00:58:52,945 --> 00:58:54,777 "...when they get together to honor... 761 00:58:54,946 --> 00:58:56,278 - "...the egg." - We're not stopping. 762 00:58:56,447 --> 00:58:58,939 You have 10 seconds to change your mind. 763 00:58:59,851 --> 00:59:01,285 Ten hippopotamus... 764 00:59:01,452 --> 00:59:03,011 ...nine hippopotamus... 765 00:59:03,955 --> 00:59:07,858 How much more attractive is he than I am? Be honest with me. 766 00:59:08,025 --> 00:59:09,618 Huey, this is not healthy. 767 00:59:09,794 --> 00:59:11,456 ...five hippopotamus... 768 00:59:11,729 --> 00:59:13,459 ...four hippopotamus... 769 00:59:13,631 --> 00:59:14,860 ...three, two, one! 770 00:59:45,029 --> 00:59:47,658 No jack. Of course there is no jack. 771 00:59:47,832 --> 00:59:51,997 Just ask him to fix it. He blew it. He can fix it. 772 00:59:52,169 --> 00:59:54,502 Come back here and fix this tire. 773 00:59:56,340 --> 00:59:58,172 No can do. 774 01:00:11,689 --> 01:00:13,920 I miss my wife. 775 01:00:14,425 --> 01:00:16,690 I don't miss any of my husbands. 776 01:00:17,361 --> 01:00:20,820 Although Bradley was handy with a jack. He had to be. 777 01:00:21,599 --> 01:00:23,534 I don't want to ask why. 778 01:00:23,868 --> 01:00:26,099 His tires were bald. 779 01:00:32,609 --> 01:00:36,239 His tires were bald, so was his head. 780 01:00:37,714 --> 01:00:40,513 I wish he'd called, but now he's dead. 781 01:00:43,119 --> 01:00:45,247 He's not dead, he wasn't bald. 782 01:00:46,389 --> 01:00:48,017 Poetic license. 783 01:00:48,391 --> 01:00:50,451 "His tires were bald... 784 01:00:50,961 --> 01:00:52,827 "...and they went flat. 785 01:00:53,730 --> 01:00:55,062 "So did our love... 786 01:00:55,231 --> 01:00:57,962 "...and that was that." 787 01:01:02,205 --> 01:01:04,640 Maybe you could write a song about my wife. 788 01:01:04,841 --> 01:01:06,139 Do you love her? 789 01:01:08,979 --> 01:01:11,346 Yeah, she drives me wild. 790 01:01:11,748 --> 01:01:13,080 What about her? 791 01:01:16,353 --> 01:01:17,912 She had her lips done. 792 01:01:18,755 --> 01:01:20,986 Had little bits of fat... 793 01:01:21,157 --> 01:01:22,750 ...squeezed into them. 794 01:01:23,360 --> 01:01:26,091 Now my wife has lips like a blowfish. 795 01:01:26,997 --> 01:01:28,488 But in a good way. 796 01:01:31,434 --> 01:01:35,599 "My wife has lips like a blowfish" 797 01:01:38,174 --> 01:01:40,609 I don't see it, but I could be wrong. 798 01:01:40,777 --> 01:01:45,272 If I had any talent as a Country singer, I wouldn't be sitting here. 799 01:01:52,956 --> 01:01:57,451 "Sitting on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere." 800 01:01:59,461 --> 01:02:01,794 Sounds awfully familiar. 801 01:02:01,964 --> 01:02:03,626 It's good though. 802 01:02:09,805 --> 01:02:14,709 This is one godforsaken road. I bet you no one ever comes down it. 803 01:02:26,722 --> 01:02:29,157 Yeah, well, they won't stop, though. 804 01:02:39,001 --> 01:02:40,560 Bet you need a jack. 805 01:02:44,006 --> 01:02:45,998 Then what happened was... 806 01:02:46,175 --> 01:02:49,737 ...he came as a hundred mouths, open and stinking with decay... 807 01:02:49,945 --> 01:02:53,006 ...and he tore at my flesh from every angle of Heaven. 808 01:02:53,182 --> 01:02:55,947 I grabbed Beelzebub's blue tongue in my fist.... 809 01:02:56,852 --> 01:02:58,650 Who's Beelzebub? 810 01:02:59,254 --> 01:03:00,722 Beelzebub is Satan. 811 01:03:04,026 --> 01:03:06,188 Michael, get in the car. 812 01:03:29,718 --> 01:03:33,210 - What'll it be, folks? - Do you have pie? 813 01:03:33,387 --> 01:03:35,049 Do we have pie? 814 01:03:35,223 --> 01:03:37,715 You're in the pie capital of America. 815 01:03:38,392 --> 01:03:39,553 Well, we want.... 816 01:03:39,727 --> 01:03:42,287 We want pie. What have you got? 817 01:03:42,630 --> 01:03:46,624 I got them memorized, okay? Ready? We got apple, of course... 818 01:03:46,801 --> 01:03:49,635 ...banana cream, coconut cream, sour cream raisin. 819 01:03:50,505 --> 01:03:51,564 Chocolate cream? 820 01:03:52,006 --> 01:03:54,805 Definitely. Chocolate cream... 821 01:03:55,510 --> 01:03:56,443 ...and... 822 01:03:56,644 --> 01:03:59,136 ...strawberry rhubard pie and... 823 01:03:59,313 --> 01:04:00,303 ...cherry... 824 01:04:00,515 --> 01:04:02,245 ...and lemon meringue. 825 01:04:04,752 --> 01:04:07,517 We want two slices of everything. 826 01:04:07,655 --> 01:04:09,920 And vanilla ice cream on the side. 827 01:04:32,180 --> 01:04:34,615 - Bliss. - That's banana cream, that's chocolate. 828 01:04:34,782 --> 01:04:37,274 Everybody get out of my banana cream. 829 01:04:38,486 --> 01:04:41,684 That's the pie. What is, what is this pie? 830 01:04:41,856 --> 01:04:43,290 Sour cream raisin. 831 01:04:48,930 --> 01:04:50,455 What is it about pie? 832 01:04:50,631 --> 01:04:53,066 There's nothing prettier than pie... 833 01:04:53,201 --> 01:04:56,865 ...with scalloped edges and slits in the top for the heat to escape. 834 01:04:57,071 --> 01:05:00,132 Pie gives you the sense that you're a 4-square person... 835 01:05:00,308 --> 01:05:02,640 ...living in a 4-square country. 836 01:05:02,809 --> 01:05:05,472 - A pie says home. - As American as apple pie. 837 01:05:05,645 --> 01:05:06,874 I wish I invented pie. 838 01:05:07,147 --> 01:05:08,376 I did. 839 01:05:12,319 --> 01:05:13,719 I'm just kidding. 840 01:05:15,322 --> 01:05:16,654 That was a good one. 841 01:05:18,458 --> 01:05:21,223 God is in His Heaven and all's right with the world. 842 01:05:21,661 --> 01:05:22,890 My mother... 843 01:05:23,096 --> 01:05:25,327 -...made a great... - Blueberry pie. 844 01:05:29,402 --> 01:05:30,665 So do I. 845 01:05:31,671 --> 01:05:33,105 I have to say I like... 846 01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:34,868 ...cream pie more than fruit pie. 847 01:05:35,041 --> 01:05:36,100 Me too. 848 01:05:36,343 --> 01:05:38,107 That is so wrong. 849 01:05:38,245 --> 01:05:39,611 I like them all. 850 01:05:39,913 --> 01:05:41,609 I like you. 851 01:05:45,518 --> 01:05:47,510 Sing your song about pie. 852 01:05:49,122 --> 01:05:51,751 You have a song about pie? 853 01:05:52,626 --> 01:05:54,254 Actually I do. 854 01:05:55,428 --> 01:05:56,657 Sing, Dorothy. 855 01:05:57,030 --> 01:05:58,123 Now. 856 01:06:00,433 --> 01:06:01,765 "Pie, pie... 857 01:06:01,935 --> 01:06:03,267 "...me, oh, my. 858 01:06:03,436 --> 01:06:06,201 "Nothing tastes sweet, wet, salty, and dry. 859 01:06:06,373 --> 01:06:09,138 "All at once so well as pie. 860 01:06:09,276 --> 01:06:12,041 "Apple, pumpkin, mince and black bottom. 861 01:06:12,212 --> 01:06:13,942 "I'll come to your place... 862 01:06:14,147 --> 01:06:19,051 "...every day if you've got 'em Pie, me, oh, my, I love pie." 863 01:06:25,959 --> 01:06:27,723 Sing another song. 864 01:06:31,564 --> 01:06:36,467 It's in B flat. It's pretty basic but watch out for the retard down there. 865 01:06:44,710 --> 01:06:46,076 I'm nervous. 866 01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:50,941 You'll have to forgive me, it's a work in progress. 867 01:06:51,116 --> 01:06:53,551 Don't apologize, Dorothy. Okay. 868 01:07:00,559 --> 01:07:05,463 "I'm sitting by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. 869 01:07:08,133 --> 01:07:10,728 "I don't know where I'm going... 870 01:07:11,136 --> 01:07:15,073 "...but I hope I know it when I get there. 871 01:07:15,808 --> 01:07:19,301 "Thinking about how love never works out. 872 01:07:19,478 --> 01:07:22,414 "But I guess that's the way it goes. 873 01:07:23,315 --> 01:07:27,980 "And how this story ends only Heaven knows. 874 01:07:30,756 --> 01:07:34,420 "I always thought there was an angel... 875 01:07:34,593 --> 01:07:36,789 "...watching over me. 876 01:07:38,263 --> 01:07:42,826 "But even angels sometimes make mistakes... 877 01:07:43,002 --> 01:07:44,664 "...as you will see. 878 01:07:45,337 --> 01:07:49,433 "'Cause I've had my share of bad love affairs. 879 01:07:49,608 --> 01:07:52,134 "In fact, I married three. 880 01:07:53,012 --> 01:07:55,607 "So here's my little story... 881 01:07:56,281 --> 01:08:00,116 "...about Miles, Ralph, and Bradley. 882 01:08:01,186 --> 01:08:03,849 "Miles made me smile... 883 01:08:04,023 --> 01:08:07,356 "...till he stole my Camaro. 884 01:08:08,626 --> 01:08:13,291 "Ralph made me laugh till I cried. 885 01:08:15,366 --> 01:08:17,198 "And Bradley... 886 01:08:17,702 --> 01:08:20,638 "...I loved him madly. 887 01:08:22,306 --> 01:08:24,707 "But his tires were bald... 888 01:08:24,876 --> 01:08:26,208 "...and they went flat. 889 01:08:26,477 --> 01:08:30,039 "So did our love and that was that. 890 01:08:31,149 --> 01:08:36,053 "Now I'm sitting in the middle of nowhere by the side of the road. 891 01:08:38,990 --> 01:08:42,392 "One of these days I'll find true love. 892 01:08:42,727 --> 01:08:45,162 "And learn how to say no. 893 01:08:46,330 --> 01:08:47,992 "I know in the past... 894 01:08:48,166 --> 01:08:49,725 "...my love didn't last. 895 01:08:49,901 --> 01:08:53,065 "As I guess this story shows. 896 01:08:53,504 --> 01:08:56,064 "Where was my angel then... 897 01:08:56,240 --> 01:08:58,903 "...only Heaven knows. 898 01:09:00,845 --> 01:09:03,679 "Where was my angel then... 899 01:09:05,917 --> 01:09:08,910 "...only Heaven knows." 900 01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:38,942 - I went to college. I was published. - You were? 901 01:09:40,283 --> 01:09:43,947 I was. It was like a yearly thing of poems, you know. 902 01:09:44,121 --> 01:09:46,113 It's great. That's great. 903 01:09:46,723 --> 01:09:48,555 It's really great. 904 01:09:49,626 --> 01:09:50,889 It's cold. 905 01:09:51,461 --> 01:09:53,896 I'm in there, this is Huey's room. 906 01:09:55,232 --> 01:09:56,461 Where are you? 907 01:09:57,234 --> 01:09:58,793 I'm in four. 908 01:09:58,969 --> 01:10:00,232 Where is that? 909 01:10:00,403 --> 01:10:01,803 It's up there. 910 01:10:03,406 --> 01:10:05,739 - Where exactly? - On the corner. 911 01:10:05,909 --> 01:10:08,777 Right there? You're directly over my room. 912 01:10:15,418 --> 01:10:16,818 You were great. 913 01:10:17,154 --> 01:10:18,588 Really great. 914 01:10:19,489 --> 01:10:20,582 It was.... 915 01:10:22,259 --> 01:10:24,490 - Good night. - Good night. 916 01:10:28,431 --> 01:10:29,592 It was.... 917 01:10:33,336 --> 01:10:36,829 "Something in your eyes... 918 01:10:37,007 --> 01:10:40,171 "...makes me want to lose myself. 919 01:10:41,678 --> 01:10:44,614 "Makes me want to lose myself... 920 01:10:46,950 --> 01:10:49,010 "...in your arms." 921 01:10:54,457 --> 01:10:56,858 What are you doing tonight? 922 01:10:57,027 --> 01:10:58,359 Not much. 923 01:10:58,695 --> 01:11:00,357 Want to come to my room? 924 01:11:01,031 --> 01:11:02,863 Why don't you come to mine? 925 01:11:04,467 --> 01:11:06,026 That's a good idea. 926 01:11:10,639 --> 01:11:13,131 "If you knew... 927 01:11:13,542 --> 01:11:15,534 "...how lonely... 928 01:11:15,811 --> 01:11:19,976 "...my life has been. 929 01:11:20,716 --> 01:11:22,651 "And how low... 930 01:11:23,219 --> 01:11:25,051 "...I've felt... 931 01:11:25,387 --> 01:11:27,322 "...so long. 932 01:11:29,725 --> 01:11:32,217 "If you knew... 933 01:11:32,394 --> 01:11:35,330 "...how I wanted someone... 934 01:11:35,497 --> 01:11:37,989 "...to come along. 935 01:11:39,835 --> 01:11:41,736 "And change my life...." 936 01:11:42,571 --> 01:11:44,403 - I must tell you something. - I know. 937 01:11:44,573 --> 01:11:47,509 - I'm not... - Ever falling in love with anyone again. 938 01:11:47,676 --> 01:11:48,735 I know. 939 01:11:48,911 --> 01:11:53,076 "Feels like home to me. 940 01:11:58,254 --> 01:12:02,419 "Feels like I'm all the way back... 941 01:12:02,591 --> 01:12:05,356 "...where I come from." 942 01:13:36,117 --> 01:13:37,847 Come here, Sparky. 943 01:13:38,019 --> 01:13:39,009 Come here. 944 01:13:41,522 --> 01:13:43,013 Wings? 945 01:13:43,524 --> 01:13:45,618 Far out. 946 01:13:46,527 --> 01:13:48,291 Some angel. 947 01:15:06,540 --> 01:15:08,441 I needed the job. 948 01:15:14,781 --> 01:15:16,044 Good morning. 949 01:15:16,783 --> 01:15:20,049 What exactly are we talking about here? 950 01:15:21,288 --> 01:15:25,123 At the paper. That's what I tried to tell you last night. 951 01:15:25,725 --> 01:15:28,456 I don't make excuses for working in there... 952 01:15:28,628 --> 01:15:30,790 ...there's no reason for you to. 953 01:15:35,635 --> 01:15:37,228 Here's a confession. 954 01:15:37,804 --> 01:15:39,397 You want to hear a confession? 955 01:15:39,573 --> 01:15:40,632 Yours? 956 01:15:41,074 --> 01:15:43,566 I needed the job too. 957 01:15:45,578 --> 01:15:48,742 No one'd go near me after what happened at the Tribune. 958 01:15:48,914 --> 01:15:50,576 What did happen? 959 01:15:53,486 --> 01:15:56,251 I hit the managing editor. 960 01:15:56,655 --> 01:15:57,816 Why? 961 01:15:58,157 --> 01:16:03,095 He fired this really sweet old guy who'd been there for, like, 27 years.... 962 01:16:04,663 --> 01:16:05,824 Really? 963 01:16:06,599 --> 01:16:07,658 Nope. 964 01:16:09,768 --> 01:16:11,930 He changed my lead. 965 01:16:12,104 --> 01:16:16,098 You hit him because he changed your lead? 966 01:16:21,280 --> 01:16:23,340 It was late. I was drunk. 967 01:16:26,452 --> 01:16:28,853 It makes no difference where I work. 968 01:16:29,021 --> 01:16:30,114 That's a lie. 969 01:16:30,289 --> 01:16:33,316 Bet you've got a half-finished novel in your desk. 970 01:16:34,460 --> 01:16:35,792 She got the desk. 971 01:16:39,031 --> 01:16:41,523 Are you keeping something from me? 972 01:16:45,638 --> 01:16:47,197 I'm not ethical. 973 01:16:47,773 --> 01:16:52,302 Just because you write about angels for a supermarket tabloid? 974 01:16:57,182 --> 01:17:01,483 Are you keeping some angel experience from me? 975 01:17:03,489 --> 01:17:05,549 If you are I forgive you. 976 01:17:06,992 --> 01:17:09,154 I think I could forgive you anything. 977 01:17:13,399 --> 01:17:16,891 This was not a mistake. Don't say it was a mistake. 978 01:17:17,068 --> 01:17:18,559 I couldn't bear it. 979 01:17:44,429 --> 01:17:46,022 It's going well. 980 01:17:48,766 --> 01:17:50,860 It's a difficult case, though. 981 01:17:51,869 --> 01:17:54,270 To give a man back his heart. 982 01:18:01,279 --> 01:18:02,406 Listen. 983 01:18:06,384 --> 01:18:08,114 Listen to the earth. 984 01:18:17,228 --> 01:18:20,130 I'm going to miss everything so much. 985 01:18:30,508 --> 01:18:31,874 Remember, Sparky.... 986 01:18:32,010 --> 01:18:33,979 No matter what they say... 987 01:18:34,145 --> 01:18:36,478 ...you can never have too much sugar. 988 01:18:55,599 --> 01:18:57,329 Good morning, Michael. 989 01:18:58,168 --> 01:18:59,636 Good morning, Sparky. 990 01:19:23,360 --> 01:19:25,192 No, he's all right. 991 01:19:36,206 --> 01:19:37,799 Oh, I killed him. 992 01:19:38,475 --> 01:19:40,876 - It's not your fault. - It's all my fault. 993 01:19:41,044 --> 01:19:42,535 I'm so sorry, Huey. 994 01:19:48,719 --> 01:19:50,483 I'm so sorry. 995 01:20:01,898 --> 01:20:03,992 You didn't do anything wrong. 996 01:20:16,847 --> 01:20:18,179 Do something. 997 01:20:19,349 --> 01:20:20,839 It isn't my area. 998 01:20:21,016 --> 01:20:22,245 What is your area? 999 01:20:22,418 --> 01:20:23,852 Explain it to me. 1000 01:20:25,755 --> 01:20:29,851 Somebody tell me exactly what is his area. 1001 01:20:30,359 --> 01:20:34,524 I don't know anything about his area. That's what I meant to tell you. 1002 01:20:34,697 --> 01:20:35,858 What? 1003 01:20:36,098 --> 01:20:39,034 I don't know anything about angels. 1004 01:20:39,869 --> 01:20:43,101 I'm a dog trainer. That's why I was hired. 1005 01:20:44,774 --> 01:20:46,538 To train Sparky? 1006 01:20:47,376 --> 01:20:48,776 And then after... 1007 01:20:50,212 --> 01:20:53,944 ...we screw up with the angel and Malt gets the dog.... 1008 01:20:55,551 --> 01:20:57,713 I get Huey's job. 1009 01:21:00,055 --> 01:21:01,648 I didn't know you. 1010 01:21:06,228 --> 01:21:07,560 I'm sorry. 1011 01:21:09,732 --> 01:21:11,428 I'm sorry too. 1012 01:21:15,304 --> 01:21:17,398 Now bring him back to life. 1013 01:21:19,241 --> 01:21:23,804 Don't give me any of that "it isn't my area" stuff. Bring him back to life... 1014 01:21:23,979 --> 01:21:26,414 ...or go back where you came from. 1015 01:21:28,250 --> 01:21:29,741 Bring him back. 1016 01:21:33,255 --> 01:21:34,484 Angel. 1017 01:24:05,472 --> 01:24:07,407 I don't have much longer. 1018 01:25:22,882 --> 01:25:24,942 We're here, Michael. We're here. 1019 01:25:36,562 --> 01:25:37,962 Look up. 1020 01:25:40,900 --> 01:25:44,735 "The Sears Tower in Chicago is the world's tallest building. 1021 01:25:44,904 --> 01:25:48,636 "It stands 1,454 feet above street level... 1022 01:25:48,808 --> 01:25:50,970 "...contains enough concrete... 1023 01:25:51,143 --> 01:25:53,237 "...for an eight-lane highway." 1024 01:26:02,922 --> 01:26:04,754 Quinlan, I'm so sorry. 1025 01:26:05,925 --> 01:26:07,826 I didn't do what I came for. 1026 01:26:09,929 --> 01:26:11,329 I didn't finish. 1027 01:26:14,600 --> 01:26:16,091 I'm so sorry. 1028 01:26:22,942 --> 01:26:24,171 Good-bye. 1029 01:26:24,944 --> 01:26:26,173 Good-bye, Michael. 1030 01:26:26,678 --> 01:26:28,510 Thank you for everything. 1031 01:26:29,114 --> 01:26:31,106 For letting me have a little fun. 1032 01:26:31,783 --> 01:26:34,184 Good-bye, my battling friend. 1033 01:26:34,652 --> 01:26:36,848 Good-bye world's biggest angel. 1034 01:26:37,522 --> 01:26:39,184 Godspeed. 1035 01:28:02,839 --> 01:28:04,774 - You're late. - We know. 1036 01:28:04,942 --> 01:28:06,274 Where's the angel? 1037 01:28:07,110 --> 01:28:08,442 It was a hoax. 1038 01:28:08,612 --> 01:28:09,875 - A hoax? - A hoax. 1039 01:28:10,047 --> 01:28:11,208 Definitely. 1040 01:28:11,381 --> 01:28:14,283 - He had detachable wings. - And a halo made out of pipe cleaners. 1041 01:28:14,451 --> 01:28:17,580 And he smelled of cookies. Just kidding. 1042 01:28:19,056 --> 01:28:20,046 I win. 1043 01:28:20,891 --> 01:28:22,291 You're fired... 1044 01:28:22,459 --> 01:28:23,791 ...and I get the dog. 1045 01:28:24,861 --> 01:28:27,057 Come on, my little sausage. 1046 01:28:28,398 --> 01:28:29,957 You come to your daddy. 1047 01:28:31,602 --> 01:28:32,763 You bastard. 1048 01:28:34,905 --> 01:28:35,895 Listen. 1049 01:28:36,940 --> 01:28:38,909 Don't hate me. I love you. 1050 01:28:41,612 --> 01:28:42,944 Get the mutt out. 1051 01:28:43,247 --> 01:28:46,411 Like that dog can be gotten out. Like he can do anything. 1052 01:28:46,583 --> 01:28:47,983 That is the worst dog... 1053 01:28:48,151 --> 01:28:50,143 - ...I've ever met. - You said you could train any dog. 1054 01:28:50,320 --> 01:28:51,618 She was wrong. 1055 01:28:52,089 --> 01:28:54,752 So I'm stuck with these two because of a dog? 1056 01:28:54,925 --> 01:28:57,656 You're stuck with Mr. Driscoll, not with me. 1057 01:28:57,828 --> 01:29:00,798 We met a guy with a 2-headed chicken. 1058 01:29:03,333 --> 01:29:04,665 Where are you going? 1059 01:29:08,672 --> 01:29:09,935 Where are you going? 1060 01:29:11,275 --> 01:29:12,504 Get off. 1061 01:29:14,845 --> 01:29:16,837 Whatever I said, don't... 1062 01:29:17,014 --> 01:29:18,607 ...don't take it personally. 1063 01:29:18,949 --> 01:29:21,612 - You're the best reporter I have. - I'm out of here. 1064 01:29:30,126 --> 01:29:31,856 You're just going to leave? 1065 01:29:32,028 --> 01:29:34,361 - We won't talk about it? - Nope. 1066 01:29:34,530 --> 01:29:35,862 Come on. 1067 01:29:36,032 --> 01:29:37,364 Talk to me. 1068 01:29:37,633 --> 01:29:40,296 Disagree with me. Argue me out of it. 1069 01:29:40,536 --> 01:29:43,301 All right, let's have a fight. Fight me. 1070 01:29:44,540 --> 01:29:47,806 You're the only one that ever fought with me here. 1071 01:29:48,711 --> 01:29:50,043 Who will I fight? 1072 01:29:50,212 --> 01:29:53,205 - You must help me out here. - It isn't my area. 1073 01:29:53,382 --> 01:29:54,543 Wait. 1074 01:30:03,492 --> 01:30:04,983 I'm sorry. 1075 01:30:05,394 --> 01:30:06,726 Please stop. 1076 01:30:08,164 --> 01:30:09,393 Stop and talk... 1077 01:30:09,565 --> 01:30:10,555 ...to me. 1078 01:30:11,567 --> 01:30:14,503 I appreciate what you said up there. I thank you. 1079 01:30:14,670 --> 01:30:16,730 - I'll see you around. - You said... 1080 01:30:18,240 --> 01:30:20,175 ...you could forgive me anything. 1081 01:30:20,409 --> 01:30:21,741 I forgive you. 1082 01:30:22,745 --> 01:30:24,338 We had a good time. 1083 01:30:24,513 --> 01:30:26,004 What are you so upset about? 1084 01:30:28,851 --> 01:30:30,251 It's you. 1085 01:30:32,521 --> 01:30:34,046 I remember you. 1086 01:30:34,757 --> 01:30:36,419 I thought you were gone. 1087 01:30:54,543 --> 01:30:57,274 "I took a trip on a train. 1088 01:30:57,446 --> 01:30:59,574 "And I thought about you. 1089 01:31:02,450 --> 01:31:05,215 "I passed a shadowy lane. 1090 01:31:06,554 --> 01:31:09,285 "And I thought about you." 1091 01:31:15,797 --> 01:31:17,129 Good evening. 1092 01:31:18,400 --> 01:31:22,633 For our specialties tonight, we have angelhair pasta... 1093 01:31:22,804 --> 01:31:24,966 ...with a pomodoro sauce... 1094 01:31:25,473 --> 01:31:29,410 ...capellini primavera, it's a mélange of vegetables... 1095 01:31:29,577 --> 01:31:31,842 ...over angelhair pasta... 1096 01:31:32,247 --> 01:31:34,739 ...finally a light sauce with... 1097 01:31:34,916 --> 01:31:36,748 ...lemon and parsley... 1098 01:31:36,918 --> 01:31:37,977 ...it's tossed... 1099 01:31:38,153 --> 01:31:40,145 ...with angelhair pasta. 1100 01:31:40,321 --> 01:31:42,483 - Anything else? - Yes. We want... 1101 01:31:42,657 --> 01:31:45,650 ...one pumpkin nut muffin and.... 1102 01:31:46,594 --> 01:31:48,825 A piece of angel food cake. 1103 01:31:49,330 --> 01:31:51,322 They don't have angel food cake. 1104 01:31:51,499 --> 01:31:52,489 Do you? 1105 01:31:52,867 --> 01:31:54,665 "And what did I do... 1106 01:31:54,936 --> 01:31:57,667 "...I thought about you." 1107 01:33:13,080 --> 01:33:14,343 So, did you... 1108 01:33:14,515 --> 01:33:16,006 ...ever tell anyone about...? 1109 01:33:19,520 --> 01:33:20,852 I was going to. 1110 01:33:21,021 --> 01:33:23,513 I couldn't wait to get home to tell Valerie. 1111 01:33:25,025 --> 01:33:27,859 And then I opened my mouth... 1112 01:33:28,595 --> 01:33:31,155 ...and the words wouldn't come out. 1113 01:33:31,932 --> 01:33:35,369 I take a breath, I even opened my mouth a second time. 1114 01:33:36,270 --> 01:33:37,363 Nothing. 1115 01:33:38,939 --> 01:33:41,704 As far as I'm concerned, it never happened. 1116 01:33:41,942 --> 01:33:43,274 But we saw it. 1117 01:33:43,443 --> 01:33:44,536 We were there. 1118 01:33:44,711 --> 01:33:46,111 It never happened. 1119 01:33:47,447 --> 01:33:49,109 What are you up to now? 1120 01:33:49,283 --> 01:33:51,047 I'm back on the novel. 1121 01:33:53,287 --> 01:33:55,586 If it didn't happen, where's your coat? 1122 01:33:55,756 --> 01:33:58,885 What is this? If it happened, you know what? 1123 01:33:59,059 --> 01:34:02,188 Then I must believe that some day I'll be walking... 1124 01:34:02,396 --> 01:34:06,560 ...down the street, and some unknown force will make me... 1125 01:34:06,732 --> 01:34:09,566 ...turn right instead of turning left... 1126 01:34:09,735 --> 01:34:11,397 ...and at that moment... 1127 01:34:11,571 --> 01:34:12,903 ...a car will... 1128 01:34:13,072 --> 01:34:15,974 ...come around the corner with the woman of my dreams in it... 1129 01:34:16,142 --> 01:34:17,974 ...and blow a flat... 1130 01:34:21,480 --> 01:34:24,644 ...right there next to where I'm standing. 1131 01:34:32,658 --> 01:34:34,286 It never happened. 1132 01:35:08,661 --> 01:35:09,959 Need any help? 1133 01:35:10,129 --> 01:35:12,530 - No. Thanks. - No. We're cool. 1134 01:37:07,979 --> 01:37:09,071 Michael, wait! 1135 01:37:28,265 --> 01:37:29,631 What are you doing here? 1136 01:37:29,833 --> 01:37:31,165 I live here. 1137 01:37:31,435 --> 01:37:33,336 I live two blocks from here. 1138 01:37:34,838 --> 01:37:36,170 I was on my way home and... 1139 01:37:36,774 --> 01:37:38,333 ...I thought I saw.... 1140 01:37:38,675 --> 01:37:40,041 He came around this corner. 1141 01:37:40,677 --> 01:37:42,009 That corner. 1142 01:37:54,625 --> 01:37:56,059 I love you, Dorothy. 1143 01:37:58,362 --> 01:37:59,694 I love you. 1144 01:38:04,368 --> 01:38:05,700 Marry me. 1145 01:38:09,706 --> 01:38:11,334 Marry me, please. 1146 01:38:13,644 --> 01:38:15,476 Marry me, Dorothy. 1147 01:38:18,715 --> 01:38:21,446 Oh, my darling Dorothy, will you marry me? 1148 01:38:33,664 --> 01:38:35,064 Let's go home. 74829

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