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1
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,000
ALL: Happy new year!
2
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:09,170
Tell you what,
that's got a great nose.
3
00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:12,320
Can the baby have a little bit,
babe? No! No.
4
00:00:12,321 --> 00:00:15,079
BABY SCREAMING
Put the plug in.
5
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,799
Where is the plug? The plug?
6
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:18,999
Dummy, he's yelling for his dummy.
It was in my pocket.
7
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,839
But it must have fallen out when
I went for a wazz at Maccie D's.
8
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:23,999
OK, we've got to turn around.
Oh, no. We're not going back.
9
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,359
We can't do another hour in the car.
He's so loud!
10
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,999
He really is.
He's like a young Tom Jones.
11
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,159
Put a finger in, Robin. A clean one!
I'll put it in now, babe.
12
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:33,839
OK. Suck on this, big man.
13
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,359
BABY QUIETENS
There you go, son.
14
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:36,999
Thank God for that.
Oh, what a relief.
15
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,279
OK, Robin, is there any way
you can...keep your finger in?
16
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:44,399
Well, not for the next two days, no.
He's got an extremely hard suck.
17
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,039
He really does. My nips are like
18
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,239
a couple of dog chews.
You should see 'em.
19
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,679
Huh? Oh...
20
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,999
Pass the food around, Mum.
I'm starving.
21
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,999
Yeah, yeah. Maybe actually,
if we did go back,
22
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,999
we could get my eye mask.
No way. Oh, come on, it's 11!
23
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,559
We've got ages!
Until midnight.
24
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,999
I need it. But there's still plenty
of Hootenanny pre-prep to do.
25
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,599
Oh, well, I won't be able to sleep.
I've got to get in the sauna,
26
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:06,999
I've got to set up the fireworks.
27
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,999
Why are you putting the fireworks
in the sauna?
28
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,679
No, they're two separate tasks,
Cherry, my love.
29
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,799
And we're not going back
for the eye mask.
30
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,399
Oh, Sam, take your food then, mate.
SAM: I can't, I'm filming.
31
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,199
What kind of eye mask is it?
32
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:21,759
Like a make-up one, yeah?
No, I just need to wear it to bed.
33
00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,879
What, for sleeping
or having sex with Paolo?
34
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:25,519
THEY LAUGH
Hilarious.
35
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,599
Let's all laugh at Paul
and his big boil.
36
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,119
I didn't even mention the boil.
37
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:30,999
Whoa, hang on, babe. Hang on.
Oh, Sam...
38
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,639
Sam, seriously, take your food,
mate. Just...just feed me it.
39
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,759
Feed?! I can't, I've got a finger
in Atlas's gob. Oh, no, babe...
40
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,119
That's toppling, that's...
41
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:39,479
Oh, my... Sam! Sam!
ALL GROAN
42
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:40,999
ATLAS CRIES
Stick your finger back in, Robin!
43
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,359
Oh, Atlas is covered in nuggets.
He's covered in nugs, babe,
44
00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,479
he's covered in nugs.
All right, relax, Robin...
45
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,599
I know, but he's covered in nugs,
the baby's covered in nugs!
46
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:51,279
SAM: OK, then, Dad. I'm filming.
All right, all right, here we go.
47
00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:54,599
Let the...let the Jessop
family fireworks...
48
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,799
..er...fuh, um...fantasaganza...
That's not a word.
49
00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:01,079
Well, I just wanted something
starting with an F.
50
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:04,919
Um... Er, er...
The Jessop family fireworks...
51
00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:07,999
Flop? Fire? Fatal house fire?
RACHEL GIGGLES
52
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,679
Oh, yeah. OK. Keep it light, mate.
All right?
53
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,239
Fatal house fire!
The family fireworks night
54
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,719
is meant to be fun, isn't it?
55
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:18,199
Is it? It's commemorating
a terrorist attack.
56
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:22,599
Oh, yeah. Family fire...
Jessop Family Fireworks Fun...
57
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,999
Feast... Can we just
get it over with, please?
58
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,759
Oh, right.
"Can we get it over with?"
59
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,239
Yeah, great attitude to have
going into a fireworks display.
60
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:31,999
Not! Well, you always spin it out.
61
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,679
That's because I follow
the firework code, Rach.
62
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:38,399
All right? Safety first.
That's why I have a safety bucket.
63
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,919
And they're always crap anyway.
Every year.
64
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,479
No, they're not. I've got...
65
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,919
I've got one called Satanic
Apocalypse this year, Amy. Right?
66
00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:50,279
Which is going to go off
like a bloody scud. In a good way.
67
00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:54,159
OK. Heh-heh-hey! A scud.
Honestly. A dud, more like.
68
00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:58,319
Oh, he's so excited, look.
I know, it's pathetic.
69
00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,920
I've never seen him so excited.
I know.
70
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,439
Ooh, here we go.
Right. Get down! Get down!
71
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,799
Why? Down? What? No!
72
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,719
Well, get back. Get back there, Mum.
I am back!
73
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:12,439
Can we move it away
from the hedge, please?
74
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,399
Not now that it's lit, no, no.
75
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,999
You must never return to
a lit firework, babe.
76
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,999
OK? It's like
the 11th commandment.
77
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,880
OK. This one's called
The Meteor Shower.
78
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,119
Ha! More like the shit shower.
79
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,439
All right, Mum. Oh, my God.
80
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,439
Is that it? No, no, no.
It's just it's...
81
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,239
You know, it's gearing up for its...
82
00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:38,640
..for the big...
Oh, there's another bit. Yeah.
83
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,999
No, I think that is it, yeah.
84
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,999
Are you sure these aren't
indoor fireworks?
85
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,439
Ahhh! Of course I'm sure.
Yes. Indoor fireworks.
86
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:53,599
Don't be ridiculous. The big fancy
ones are hugely expensive, Mum.
87
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:57,319
OK? That's why the police are always
seizing the unlicensed ones.
88
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,599
Can't you get some of those, then,
as a cop?
89
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,279
DOORBELL RINGS
Doorbell. I don't know.
90
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:02,879
Sam, that's Holly, isn't it?
91
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,719
ALL: Oooooooh!
No... No, no, no-no-no.
92
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,599
Cos she's at a proper fireworks
display with her dad tonight.
93
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,959
This is a proper display!
94
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,479
DOORBELL RINGS
Yeah, all right.
95
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,599
Hang onto your member,
it's the fifth of November!
96
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,919
Heyyyy! Oh, oh!
97
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,039
FIRECRACKERS POP
Dance, Rachel, dance!
98
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,999
Dance, girl, dance!
99
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,319
Atlas!
100
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:22,399
You're going to wake up Atlas.
Sorry. I've run out now anyway.
101
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,639
Yeah, well, you're going to have
to clean that up now, aren't you?
102
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,719
I'll clean up. No problem, yeah.
Like we discussed.
103
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:27,959
They're devil bangers.
104
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:30,999
I'm just going to bang Atlas in here
in case the fireworks wake him up.
105
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,799
No danger of that.
Hi, Cherry, Robin.
106
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,639
Interesting shirt.
Oh, yeah. Cheers.
107
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,559
It's a cowboy one. Check this out.
108
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:42,199
Whoa. It's quick release,
cos of the poppers.
109
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,439
Oh, wow.
Do it up, it's cold out there.
110
00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:45,919
Yeah, I will, actually, yes.
111
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,999
So come on, then, you two.
Dish the dirt.
112
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,839
How's life in the old flatshare,
shag palace?
113
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:52,479
The what palace?
114
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,999
Well, as in, you're both single now.
I'm not suggesting you two were...
115
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,799
Although, you know,
it's a free country.
116
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,999
Nothing wrong with it.
Yes, there is. She's my grandmother.
117
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,359
Yeah, there is. That would be
appalling, wouldn't it?
118
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,999
But she is an amazing flatmate.
119
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,079
I'm using Nivea,
listening to The Archers.
120
00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,999
It's ideal. I love The Archers.
Here, what's happened to your car?
121
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,119
Do you know the front is all dented?
Yeah. Mum pranged it last month.
122
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,919
No, I didn't... Oh, Rach. Oh...
123
00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:15,999
Well, no, a bollard appeared
out of nowhere.
124
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:19,119
Right, yeah, just sort of like threw
itself into the road, didn't it?
125
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:20,479
As in, it wasn't there before...
126
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,439
They've put width restriction
bollards up
127
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:23,999
at the end of Mercers Road.
128
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,999
What, for cars?
Yes, Sue, not for people.
129
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,839
As far as I know. That would be
controversial to say the least.
130
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:33,479
Oh, well, quite, yeah. My
slimming club would be up in arms.
131
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:36,159
Oh! Actually...
The radiator's damaged as well.
132
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,839
It's making weird noises.
Hey, Robin, Cherry, you all right?
133
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,759
What has happened to your face?
134
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,559
Have you pranged that and all?
Huh? The...
135
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,719
Oh, no. It was just shaving.
Shaving? Yeah.
136
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,759
Up there? Yeah. Why? That's high.
137
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,879
That's very high. Is it? That's
basically shaving your eyelids.
138
00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,159
You shouldn't shave up there.
It's sensitive. There's hair there.
139
00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:56,719
Well, there shouldn't be. Ah!
140
00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,999
I'm meeting the slimming club
at KFC in an hour, Paul.
141
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,999
So hurry up and light your big one.
142
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:05,999
Yeah, all right, I will... Hang on,
sorry, you're meeting at KFC?
143
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,439
Well, that's not slimming, is it?
As if you need a slimming club, Sue.
144
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,039
You've got a cracking little bod.
145
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,999
Well, I could do with losing
a few pounds, to be honest, Robin.
146
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,359
Come off it.
So if anyone's wondering
147
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,079
what to get me for Chrimbo,
148
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:19,999
I do need some scales.
SAM: Oh, right.
149
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,999
Bathroom, not fish.
SUE LAUGHS
150
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,439
Can we please finish
these terrible fireworks?
151
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,639
Don't say that.
It's going to be fantastic.
152
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,559
I'll get my coat. Hang on.
CHANTS: Fireworks!
153
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,999
OK, this is it.
Satanic Apocalypse.
154
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,039
I am become death!
155
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,159
Destroyer of worlds!
156
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,639
SAM: Just light it.
Haw-haw-haw-haw-haw!
157
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:40,880
ROBIN: Hurry up.
158
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,360
OK. She's lit.
159
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,079
Oh, dear.
160
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:53,079
Come on, big boy.
Yeah, I wouldn't get your hopes up.
161
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,759
Ah... Ooh! Oh...
162
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,040
Yeah.
163
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,959
THEY EXCLAIM QUIETLY AND CHUCKLE
164
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,519
Very farty, isn't it?
ALL AGREE
165
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,559
Yeah, they're all farty.
166
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,760
Silence, please,
for Satanic Apocalypse.
167
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,440
Ooh! Oh! Pardon me.
168
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,440
THEY LAUGH
Agh! This is serious, guys.
169
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:21,999
Er, by the way, y'all,
what are your plans for NYE?
170
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,439
Because we get back from
Chezza's folks' on the 29th.
171
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:25,999
NYE. What's that?
172
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,999
It's short for New Year's Eve.
173
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,999
Short for New Year's evening. Yeah.
174
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,879
Are you still thinking about
doing a party, Rach?
175
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,399
Um, I don't know. Maybe, yeah.
176
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,599
Sorry, a party, as in,
us hosting a party?
177
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:36,919
We're not hosting a party, Rach.
178
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,359
We haven't done it for about
ten years.
179
00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,439
I thought it might be fun.
For the guests, yeah.
180
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,239
Not for us. Buying beer, reminding
people to take their shoes off,
181
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,359
scrubbing sick out of the curtains?
182
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,999
I'm so sorry again about that.
It's all right. It's OK.
183
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,119
I just thought it'd be nice for us
all to be together, you know?
184
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,079
Doesn't matter. We're not going to
be together, are we?
185
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,439
Mum's going to be with the slimmers,
186
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,559
Sam's going to be with Holly's lot,
187
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,279
and Amy, she's going to be working
at the pub, right?
188
00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:00,479
If Lena can't find somewhere
better to go, yeah.
189
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,799
Well, I'd organise it all.
What, like you organised
190
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:03,999
fixing the car radiator?
191
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,279
You haven't even taken the car
to the body shop.
192
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,319
The Body Shop? They don't do cars.
193
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,679
They do soaps and creams
and things like that. No, Mum.
194
00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,799
Body shop as in the garage, Mum.
195
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,759
Ga-rahge? Yeah. Ooh, la-di-da!
196
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:20,559
Get you! It's gar-rige, mate.
197
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,919
Oh, God.
ROBIN IMITATES FART
198
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,959
SAM: Satanic Apocalypse is finished.
199
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:28,239
And it was -
drum roll, please - shit.
200
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:29,999
Oh, yeah. Great.
201
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,439
65 quid down the drain. 65 quid?!
202
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:36,919
Yeah... Oh, do the spinny one,
the... Whatsit, um...
203
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:41,000
Oh, the lazy Susan. I love that one.
Catherine Wheel? Sure.
204
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:46,679
Well, look, we are thinking
about renting an Airbnb cott-ahge
205
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,399
for New Year,
if anyone wants in on that.
206
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,359
Yeah! Yeah? That's great.
We should do that.
207
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,999
Let's do that. Why? So you can
argue in front of Hootenanny
208
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,199
in someone else's house?
209
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,239
SAM: Don't hammer it too hard, Dad.
210
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,879
Huh? But we can't afford it anyway,
can we?
211
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:03,759
No. Well, you can
if you Airbnb this place and all.
212
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,999
And then you use the money
to rent somewhere else.
213
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:10,119
It's like Wife Swap, but houses.
214
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,999
Exactly, it's a premier life hack.
215
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,199
There's actually no downside.
No, I want to have a party.
216
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,799
OK, so look, if no-one
wants to Airbnb this place,
217
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,599
then we'll do a party.
But let's just try it.
218
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:24,399
You know, we could go somewhere
really romantic, like, um, Devon...
219
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:27,999
Ooh-ar. ..or Wales, etc.
Leeds. No.
220
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,759
Devon. I just think it'd be
really good for us, babe.
221
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:32,639
You know,
just a total change of scenery.
222
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,759
Mm.
223
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,799
It's not spinning. Oh, God!
224
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,999
SAM: Oh, no.
Dad hammered it in too hard.
225
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,639
It's burning the shed!
226
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,999
Oh, God. Right,
get the safety buckets out!
227
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,639
The safety bucket. Oh, God.
AMY: I knew this would happen.
228
00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,239
ROBIN: It's quite exciting,
to be fair.
229
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,519
It's a lot better than
the fireworks.
230
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,999
SAM: Yeah, stop shaking it, Holly.
Seriously!
231
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,439
I want to know what it is.
232
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,639
Yeah, I know, and you'll have to
wait till tomorrow, won't you?
233
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,999
It's a record player, isn't it?
I'm not telling you.
234
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,399
No.
235
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,519
Maybe.
PAUL: Oh, yes, he's done it!
236
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,959
What is it? He's done it! Dad?
237
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,999
Hello, Holly, hi. We've done it,
Rach. We've only bloody done it.
238
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,399
What? What's happened, Dad?
239
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,999
Huh? Someone's booked our house
for New Year's.
240
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,319
Get in there! Oh, what a shame. Huh?
241
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,519
Oh, Paul, well done. Thanks, Mum.
242
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,319
Well done? You didn't do anything.
243
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,279
If you list it, they will come,
I guess.
244
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,399
So weird. Why would anyone want
to rent this place, huh?
245
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,599
What do you mean?
To visit Bedford, of course.
246
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:30,119
You know, you could go to
the Bedford Autodrome.
247
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,959
Which is closed until next year.
248
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,679
Castle Mound's open all year round.
Yes, you can walk the mound.
249
00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:36,999
Thank you, Holly. You could go to...
You could hit the skate park.
250
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,479
Uh, you could go to Wickes!
Wickes? Who cares, frankly.
251
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:43,999
We've got renters which means we
could book a place for ourselves.
252
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,159
And don't have to have a party,
253
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,919
which is actually
what you're pleased about.
254
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,999
Yeah. Where do you want to go, Rach?
I want to stay here.
255
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,999
The UK is our oyster.
As in cold, wet and gross.
256
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,999
Don't call the UK gross, Amy!
All right?
257
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:59,239
Why are you even here?
What, in the UK?
258
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,639
No, in the house.
To get my work shirts ironed.
259
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,679
Oh, no. Does that mean you're
definitely working next week?
260
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:08,279
Yeah? Well, I haven't heard about
any parties, put it that way.
261
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,999
You could always join
our slimming group.
262
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,999
We have booked an 11-course meal.
263
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,119
11 courses, Mum? Seriously?
264
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,999
Yeah, well, three of them are soups.
265
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,719
CAR HORN HONKS
Oh, what's that honking sound?
266
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,479
Oh, that'll be my dad.
267
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,999
Oh, yes. Oh, let me come and say hi.
268
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,199
SAM: Please don't.
Well, no...
269
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,599
Mum, can I say goodbye to Holly
myself, please?
270
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,679
Oh... Oh, yeah, I understand.
271
00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:33,039
Um... Merry Christmas.
272
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,999
Thanks for my not a record player.
See you next week.
273
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,999
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas. Sam!
274
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,799
Yeah, what? Sam, you got a nugget?
Oh, my God... Robin?
275
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:45,239
Sorry, try not to look at
the harness. The state of you.
276
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:47,999
The junkyard! Oh-ho! Sorry to
burst in like this, Rach.
277
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,599
Just need a nugget. Yeah.
What were you talking about?
278
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,159
Oh, just...
We're down the climb centre,
279
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,439
down the road, and we need a nugget
for the lockers, so...
280
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,999
Oh, my God, I am hot. What is
a nugget? Yeah, a nug, you know...
281
00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,279
Nugs Bunny, Nugsy Malone.
Pound, pound coin. A pound?
282
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,479
You've come all this way
for a pound?
283
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:05,719
Hi, guys. Hey, look,
we got a booking for New Year's.
284
00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,359
Yes! So, Mission Cottage Rental
is a go, go!
285
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,279
That is excellent. Oh, Paolo...
286
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:12,999
You've been shaving
under your eyes again.
287
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,399
Well, not under my eyes.
288
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,999
I mean, I'm thorough, but...
That's infected, now, look.
289
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,679
Yeah. Hence the nubbins.
Nubbins? What nubbins?
290
00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:22,239
What are you talking about? Weird.
Ah, don't touch the nubbins!
291
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,599
Ow! You need to pop those
before they turn into boils.
292
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,759
Boils? I won't get boils, will I?
Don't pop 'em.
293
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,679
Once you pop, you can't stop. Yes.
294
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,199
You want to milk them. Exactly. Get
'em hot, in the sauna, something.
295
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,799
Then milk them. You know, like
you'd milk, I don't know...a rat.
296
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,999
A rat? Have you milked a rat?
Not yet.
297
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,599
No. Yet?
298
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,759
Find a place with a sauna
for New Year,
299
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,999
then we can milk them there.
Job's a good 'un. Yeah.
300
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,719
Yeah, but make sure it's still
sort of rustic-y and cosy.
301
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,479
Oh, it will need
a ma-hoosive garden, though,
302
00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:52,999
because I've got hold of
some more fireworks. Oh, man...
303
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,039
Really? Huh? What? Please.
304
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:58,279
Please don't make me sit through
another of your endless
305
00:12:58,280 --> 00:12:59,839
colourful fart displays.
306
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,999
These ones are, these... No.
These ones are good, all right?
307
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,999
They're big unlicensed ones
from Slovenia.
308
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,599
I got them from the Bedford
police auction.
309
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,799
Oh, OK, OK. Yeah?
They're going to be banging! OK.
310
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,999
Literally.
Right. Who wants a pound, then?
311
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,799
Oh, yes. Us, please, Susan, yeah.
312
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,999
OK. Oh, my God!
313
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,679
You look like
a couple of VW Beetles.
314
00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:20,559
Oh, yeah. The love bugs! Ugh, ugh!
315
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:22,479
ALL EXCLAIMING
316
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,999
We eat in here.
ROBIN: No, we're just... Sorry.
317
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,239
Mid sesh at the climbing centre.
Hence the harnesses.
318
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,559
The harnii. You're into climbing
now, are you?
319
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,159
Well, I am, Rob just does
the ropes for me.
320
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,999
Yeah, I do enjoy it, but, um... No,
obviously there's no future in it.
321
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,879
SAM: What? Why not?
Well, two words. Sam. Jetpacks.
322
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:40,999
That's one word, isn't it?
It could be, actually. Yeah.
323
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:44,199
The point is, Elon reckons that...
Elon Musk. ..that by 2030,
324
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,919
we will be all on...tssssss!
325
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:50,079
..jetpacks. So...
Everywhere.
326
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,759
We won't need to climb and we
probably won't even use stairs.
327
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,679
What?! You're not going to put
a jetpack on to go to bed, surely?
328
00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:59,999
I think I'll be looking for
any excuse I can to use it,
329
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,919
to be honest, Sue.
Especially if I bought it.
330
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:04,319
It's going to be expensive.
Right, well... Classic you.
331
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:05,999
..I'm off for lunch
with the slimmers
332
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,719
if you two want a lift back to
the climbing gym.
333
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,959
S'il vous very much plait, Susan.
I'd love that.
334
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,519
Lunch? It's 10.30. Well, I know.
335
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,719
It's an all you can eat place, so we
want to get there nice and early.
336
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,479
A slimming group doing
all you can eat?
337
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,319
Good idea, that.
Well, it works out cheaper.
338
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,759
Oh, OK.
Some of them can really put it away.
339
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,639
Oh, great. Come on then, boys.
340
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,119
Surely. Merry Chrimbo, Jessops.
341
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,079
Yeah, same to you, Dean...
That's our milk.
342
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:30,999
Um, whose present is this,
by the way?
343
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,199
SAM: Oh, yeah. That's one of mine
for Granny, I think.
344
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,999
Did you not label yours?
Well, no, but it will be, I think.
345
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,679
Is there not a sort of
thatch-y type one, you know?
346
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:44,959
No, the ones with saunas
tend to be a bit more... Naff?
347
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,879
Suburban. Suburban, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
348
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,439
No, just leave it, Rach, all right?
OK. I promise you,
349
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:53,319
I will find somewhere
absolutely amazing.
350
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,519
OK. OK?
351
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,799
Yeah! Whoop, whoop!
352
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,959
Yay! Here we are!
This is it. Number 65.
353
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,239
Huh? Good, huh? What do you think?
354
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,679
SAM: I mean,
it's exactly like our house. Huh?
355
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,359
No, that's lazy journalism, Sam.
356
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,999
I mean, our bay windows
are a lot lower than those.
357
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,439
A bit lower. It's like your road
and all.
358
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,239
Can you stop?
We're in the West Country.
359
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:23,079
OK? It's a completely
different vibe, you know?
360
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:26,999
And the air is thicker
and saltier.
361
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,199
Oh, are we near the sea, then?
No. No, well,
362
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,999
we had to prioritise the sauna...
You did. ..over the coast.
363
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,159
This is like The Twilight Zone.
364
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:37,719
What? We've basically rented
our own house, but in Devon.
365
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,279
Yeah. What are you talking about?
366
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:42,919
ROBIN: Oh, you've got that
plant pot. Oh, yeah.
367
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:46,359
Nice, eh? Lovely. No, no.
God, it even smells like our house.
368
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:47,759
Exactly! It smells great.
369
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,999
As long as they get Hootenanny
down here, I'm easy, to be honest.
370
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,159
Is he asleep yet? Uh...
Ooh, I'll check.
371
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:56,039
Yes! He's down.
372
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,999
Oh, my God.
Babe, look at your finger.
373
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,999
Oh! Oh, that's not good.
374
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,399
I think it's dead. He must have
sucked the life out of it.
375
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,679
Order some new dummies on Amazon,
get 'em here quick. Yeah, yeah.
376
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,999
Oh, God... I'm worried about that.
SAM: What?
377
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,879
God, it's so soft. Huh?
378
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,759
You guys have got to try this
tap water. It is seriously soft.
379
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,359
It's like another world. OK...
Great.
380
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,719
So we've travelled five hours
for softer water.
381
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:24,479
Just water, really. And the sauna.
Let's crank up the sauna!
382
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,719
Help me find it, Sam.
Oh, my God, babe.
383
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,999
Amazon are saying next year
for dummies.
384
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,919
What?! Yeah, it's the 31st
of December. Yeah, yeah.
385
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,679
Yeah, yeah. So that checks out then,
doesn't it?
386
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,999
Hang on. Where is Sam sleeping?
Cos there's only two bedrooms.
387
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,999
Yeah, yeah, he's on a camp bed
in our room, unfortunately.
388
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,559
Ah, OK.
Nothing says romantic mini break
389
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,999
like having your 17-year-old son
in the corner of your room.
390
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,079
Why aren't you with what's her name,
your girlfriend, then, Sam?
391
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,759
SAM: Holly?
Yeah, we had an argument.
392
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:56,479
Yeah, he got her some bathroom
scales for Christmas. By mistake!
393
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:57,719
Oh, Samuel. You dipshit!
394
00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,399
Yeah, they were meant for Granny.
395
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,319
I said sorry
but she was really not happy.
396
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,599
Obviously. No kidding.
397
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,679
Oh, my...
Guys, you have got to see this!
398
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,199
It's Amy, hang on. Amy?
Everything all right?
399
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,079
Now, that's what I'm talking about.
400
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,839
Whoo! A ga-rahge sauna! Hang on.
Gar-rige. That's better.
401
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,999
Oh, yeah. Your boil is going to
pop open like a pinata.
402
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,439
Oh, gross. Can you wait until
after we've been in to do that?
403
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,879
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I promise I will not touch the boil
404
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:23,839
until I am as hot as Hades, Cherry.
405
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,399
That is a cast iron promise.
Are you coming in then, Robin?
406
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,479
Oh, just a bit, mate. Ohh! Oh, no...
407
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,639
It is not a cowboy one, Robin!
408
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,199
That's the third shirt
I've ruined like that, honestly.
409
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,599
That was your Christmas present
and all, you doughnut.
410
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,799
I'm so sorry, babe. I've got
a spare one in my bag, but...
411
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,679
Oh! Yeah? Something's happened.
412
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,399
Yeah, Robin's buttons.
We'll clear them up.
413
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,999
No, no, no, I mean at home.
That was Amy.
414
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,759
Her friend Lena has found out
about a party.
415
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,839
Well, Amy's working. She can't go.
No, I mean,
416
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,639
as in, at our house.
417
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:54,159
They've been invited to
a house party...at our house.
418
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,199
Well, that doesn't work.
We've rented it out.
419
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,039
No, exactly.
Well, the people that have rented it
420
00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,279
aren't going to want that, are they?
421
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:00,839
The people that have rented it out
are the ones
422
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,850
that are throwing a party.
That's why they rented it out. Yeah.
423
00:18:03,851 --> 00:18:05,999
Yeah. Well, they can't do that,
can they?!
424
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,799
Well... Course they can.
It happens all the time.
425
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,159
Jelson's done it several times.
426
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,239
Why didn't you say?!
Why didn't you mention it?!
427
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,719
When you told us to rent our place
out? For goodness' sake!
428
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:17,279
No downsides, you said.
Yeah. Apart from that.
429
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,239
Well, I'm afraid
we're going to have to go back.
430
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,999
Oh, no! We have to. No way!
431
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,999
I haven't even gone
in the sauna yet.
432
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,199
Well, could you get
any of your rozzer mates along?
433
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,999
Shut it down? Yes, yes, yes!
434
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,999
Well, no. I mean,
there's nothing illegal
435
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,479
about a house party, is there?
436
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,679
Oh, Jesus Louisus!
437
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,999
The house... Right, no,
I'm just going to go in the sauna
438
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,799
for a little bit
and just work things out.
439
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,439
I need to work out what to do.
How's that going to help?
440
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:43,439
He's in. In he goes. Um...
441
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:45,279
Oh, that's coming off.
442
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,679
He's getting naked. Oh, my God.
Could Sue shut it down?
443
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,799
Sue? No.
That's a lot to ask, isn't it?
444
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,999
For a 77-year-old lady.
A sprightly one.
445
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,879
She's with her slimmers anyway.
What about Dean?
446
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,359
Dean is on a pub climb
with the crawlers.
447
00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:00,719
I don't trust him anyway... A pub
crawl with the climbers. Sorry.
448
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,639
I'll give him a call.
Oh, come on, we have to go.
449
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:07,079
We have to go. Come now, please!
He's not happy.
450
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,679
It's a five-hour drive.
Got to go, mate.
451
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,119
HE GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION
452
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:12,879
Got to go. You! Me?
453
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,599
I haven't even got a sweat on yet.
454
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,239
Why are you blaming me?
455
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,679
Could Holly maybe go round there,
do you think, Sam?
456
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,239
SAM: No, she's ignoring me.
457
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,719
What about Amy? Yeah,
she's going to leave work early
458
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,879
and get to the house.
Sue's on the sixth course out of 11.
459
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,719
They're going to head over
once they've paid up.
460
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,599
Well, we might need a bit
more muscle than that, though.
461
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,839
Do you know what I mean?
If you want to chuck them out.
462
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,159
SHOUTS: Deeeeaaano!
463
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,959
Shhh! Deano! Shut up.
Sorry. Er, yes, brother.
464
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,799
Did you get my,
uh, textual intercourse?
465
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,759
Robin! Ah.
No, babe. It's funny.
466
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,479
It's not funny at all. It is.
It's gross.
467
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,479
Um, just a bunch of renters
who are having a party.
468
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,079
Well, get down there
and, you know, boot them out.
469
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,999
Yeah, no mercy. Sweet.
470
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,479
CLANKING
OK, love you too.
471
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:55,999
What's that noise?
Deano is on it like a car bonnet.
472
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,439
Actually, um, what...
Is the car...
473
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,959
Is the car all right?
Oh, God. It's the radiator.
474
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,119
Yeah. Thought you were going to
get that fixed.
475
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,119
Yes, well, we, we didn't, obviously.
476
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,399
Er, so, what does that mean?
Um, i-is that bad?
477
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,959
It's bad, isn't it? Sounds bad.
WARNING PINGS
478
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,039
Well, the car's overheating, look.
Yeah, it's overheating.
479
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,919
But we can get home, right?
Oh, my gosh. I don't know. Maybe.
480
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,639
"Maybe"? What do you mean "maybe"?
481
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,959
I'm so sorry. OK, OK, OK, OK.
I should have fixed it. Look, look.
482
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:19,719
If we pump hot air into the cockpit,
483
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,159
we might be able to cool
the engine down. OK. All right?
484
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,439
Yeah. Yeah, but...
HEATERS WHIR
485
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,639
Ooh. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, no,
that's so hot, that's horrible.
486
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,039
Well, we can't put up with that.
487
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,359
OK, well, I'll have to open
a window, I think. That's warm.
488
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,479
TRUCK HORN BLARES
Don't open a window!
489
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,599
You'll wake Atlas, you bell.
490
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,959
OK, OK, sorry, sorry.
That is unbearably hot.
491
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:37,039
How long till we get home?
492
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:38,439
Well, it was going to be
a couple of hours.
493
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,279
But I'm going to have to go
at 20 now... Oh, my gosh.
494
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,639
..to keep the temperature down,
so it might be a bit longer.
495
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,559
Oh, dear. Or a lot longer.
Sorry, everyone.
496
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,359
It is absolutely roasting in here,
innit? Oh, God.
497
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:48,559
BUTTONS POP AND CLATTER
498
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,679
ALL: Oh!
Ow! Babe, it is not a cowboy one!
499
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:51,799
Oh, not again!
500
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,199
Oh, come on.
ENGINE CLUNKS
501
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,479
Come on, Beryl, old girl.
502
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:57,319
Don't die on me. Who's Beryl?
Huh? The car. Oh.
503
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,559
The car's called Beryl.
I didn't know it had a name.
504
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,079
SHE. She has. And it's Beryl.
505
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,199
OK. How far to go is it?
506
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,239
Oh, about half a mile.
Our road's just here.
507
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,079
Oh, God. Half a mile.
Oh, come on, Beryl.
508
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:08,759
Come on. Come on, Beryl.
Come on, you can do it, babe.
509
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,839
Oh, I'm sweating like
an absolute onion back here. Yeah.
510
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:12,599
You're sweating? I'm sodden here!
511
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,279
Well, you did ask for a sauna.
512
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,519
That's a good point, actually.
How's my boil?
513
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,519
Your boil? Oh, ah, yeah,
it's better. Yeah?
514
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,279
It must have milked itself
on the drive. Oh, yes!
515
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,999
You know, I thought
I could feel something
516
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,159
running down my face
as we passed Newbury. Gross.
517
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,079
I assumed it was just more sweat.
Oh, God.
518
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,519
Oh, this is wondrous news.
519
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,639
Can we just get out and walk?
The car's well cranky now.
520
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,799
No, we can make it.
We're going to make it, Beryl.
521
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,719
She can do it. Beryl.
She's going to do it. Go on...
522
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,599
LOUD CRUNCHING
Argh! Ah! Oh, my God.
523
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,640
Oh. Ooh, that didn't sound good.
524
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,560
Beryl's dead. Yeah. Yeah.
525
00:21:42,561 --> 00:21:45,479
Let's just take a moment
for Beryl, everyone.
526
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:46,839
What?
527
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,399
Beryl, old girl...
528
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,319
Oh, God, I can't breathe.
..we're going to miss you.
529
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,759
We're going to miss you forever.
OK. OK, let's go. OK.
530
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,399
Oh. Oh, my God.
MUSIC THUDS INDOORS
531
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,079
Is that music?
Yes! That's UK ga-rahge, that.
532
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:02,039
This is unbelievable.
Slow run. Look at this.
533
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,479
Oh, my God. Ah!
534
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,439
Oh, look! Oh, look at it! Ah!
535
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,719
Look at it! Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
536
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,039
It's happening.
I thought Dean was shutting it down!
537
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,799
It's bloody heaving in there.
Yeah, he should be now, I think.
538
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,479
OK, everyone out!
539
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,599
This is an unauthorised party!
540
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,639
Happy new year.
Yeah, happy new year. Yeah, yeah.
541
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,759
Robin, let's bang Atlas
in one of the bedrooms upstairs.
542
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,439
Yeah, no, coming through.
543
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:23,879
Happy new year! Argh!
544
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,879
Well, OK. Oh... OK.
Well, thank you.
545
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,119
No, Rach, we're supposed to be
shutting it down.
546
00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:31,359
I'm parched.
I nearly died of thirst in the car.
547
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:33,679
Well, yeah, so did I.
So, you know...give us that...
548
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:34,879
Mm. Mm.
549
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,159
Oh, God, that's good.
550
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,239
Oh...hot dog. That's really good.
551
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,079
Here, take that.
Why's he dressed as a hot dog?
552
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:41,599
OK, ladies.
HE CLAPS
553
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,479
OK, ladies. Let's go. What?
554
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,559
Yeah, you're leaving. Come with me.
555
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:49,199
Piss off. I'm not leaving with you,
you sweaty old creep.
556
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,239
No, I mean, as...
as in, it's my house.
557
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,999
So, what? I'm meant to fancy you
because you have a house?
558
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,319
OK, boomer.
559
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:57,359
I wasn't...
560
00:22:57,360 --> 00:23:00,439
"Boomer"?! I was born in 1978!
561
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:02,239
Yeah? I'm not...
562
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:03,759
This is my wife.
Rach, can you help please?
563
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:05,679
I am, I'm his wife.
This party is ending.
564
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,839
Yeah. We did not OK this.
565
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,479
What? This is our house.
566
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,279
What? It's 11:35.
567
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:13,759
Is it?
Oh, let them stay till midnight.
568
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,799
Huh? It's 11... No, no. OK, no. No!
That's not what we... No...no!
569
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,119
This is law enforcement, right?
Yeah.
570
00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:20,839
We've got to stop it now before
something gets broken... It's 11:35.
571
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,919
..or stained... Yeah. ..or both.
Mm. Or burnt. You know?
572
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:25,239
We can't just let people...
573
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,479
I mean, look, there you go.
Put that down!
574
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:30,439
Oi! Lad! Put that bow down.
575
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,199
That bow is not a toy.
576
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,359
This bow went to the Olympics.
OK. Yeah.
577
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,719
All right, we turfed out the
shaggers and put Atlas in your room.
578
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,999
Great, great. Any sign of Dean?
What? "Shaggers"? What do you mean?
579
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,719
There were shaggers in the...?
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
580
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,519
Oh, yeah, no, he's in here.
Dean! Dean! Dean!
581
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,639
What are you doing? What?
I knew he'd do this.
582
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:49,079
Oh, yeah! It's you lot! Yeah, boy!
583
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:52,359
Dean! Dean! You're meant to be
shutting this down!
584
00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:53,799
Yeah, yeah, no, I know.
585
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,559
And then I got kind of drawn in
and, well, lashed. Right.
586
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,719
But, look, they got tequila there,
look. Have they?
587
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:00,319
Wahey! Guys, guys, guys.
588
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,479
We're not... We're not supposed to
be drinking their stuff.
589
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,199
It's New Year's Eve -
I want to have a drink! Yeah.
590
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,279
Happy New Year.
Cheers. Up your bum.
591
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:08,519
Cheers. Up the bum.
"Up the bum"?!
592
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:09,919
Paul? SAM: Granny's here!
593
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,599
Paul.
Oh, we got here as soon as we could.
594
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,159
Oh, well done, Mum. Hi, hello.
595
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,319
Who...? Who...? Hi.
596
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:17,799
Did you bring the slimming club
with you?
597
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,999
I did, yeah.
They're all starving.
598
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,919
Starving?
They just had an 11-course meal!
599
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:26,079
Three of them were soups. Yeah,
I did tell him that, Bren. Yeah.
600
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,759
SAM: There's loads of food here,
actually, Granny. Is there? Oh.
601
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,479
Don't worry, Donald -
there is food.
602
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,000
Oh, yeah.
603
00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:36,599
Oh, look, Bren -
they've got garlic bread.
604
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,559
SAM: And there's chicken nuggets.
That's...
605
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:39,799
Oh, there's Amy! Oh, my gosh.
606
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:41,199
Sorry, excuse me. Granny!
607
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,399
Amy! Hi! Oh!
608
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,159
Aww. Hi!
609
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:46,599
Oh, my goodness, you made it.
610
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,959
PAUL: That's my yoghurt, mate.
Oh, this is...
611
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,639
Oh, happy New Year.
612
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:51,759
Put that yoghurt down.
613
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,479
Hi. Hi, sorry.
Yeah, you can't be here.
614
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:54,559
This is a private party.
615
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:57,039
Oh, no, it's OK, Poppy -
they're with me. It's cool.
616
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,959
No, it's OK
because it's our house.
617
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,639
This is our house, Poppy.
618
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,279
No, no-one invited you.
619
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,599
Oh, I'm a friend of Lena's.
Do you know Lena?
620
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,039
No. You're going to have to leave.
621
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,599
No, no, no, no.
This is our house. Yeah.
622
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,999
That's us there. Exactly.
In the photo. Yeah, anniversary.
623
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,559
OK, and we rented it out.
So it's up to us, isn't it?
624
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:15,879
I mean...surely not.
625
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,879
Please, please, please, please,
please let us stay. Please.
626
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,719
We're...we're good guests.
We're good value as guests. Um...
627
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,559
Don't negotiate with them, Rachel.
Well...
628
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,439
"Good value"?
How'd you work that out?
629
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,439
You're eating all of our food.
No, not all of it. No, no.
630
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,679
That's the, um... That's
the slimming club, that's not us.
631
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,559
Yeah, Donald, slow down.
Slow down.
632
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:33,999
And you're drinking our booze.
633
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,879
Yeah, but we've got fireworks,
haven't we, Paul?
634
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,479
We've got fireworks from Slovakia.
You can set them off at midnight.
635
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:39,879
Really? Have you?
636
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:41,719
Well, they're from Slovenia,
not Slovakia,
637
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:43,520
but otherwise that's correct, yeah.
638
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:46,839
Yeah. All right, fine, yeah.
639
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,079
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
640
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:49,159
Thank you so much.
641
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:51,759
Genuinely thanking someone for
letting us stay in our own house?
642
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,479
Mm. Yeah.
SAM CHUCKLES
643
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,319
Robin. Yo.
Help us bring the fireworks in. Yo.
644
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,719
This party is slamming.
Dean, look after my bow.
645
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,999
OK, back up, everyone.
This is a big unit right here.
646
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,799
Slovenian explosives coming through.
647
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,959
Look out, Sam. Give me some space
to lay them out. OK, Dad.
648
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:09,239
STRAINING: Ah, dear.
649
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:10,999
Think this has worked out
quite well, you know.
650
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,359
I know, I can't believe it.
651
00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:14,479
I mean, they're basically
throwing a party for us.
652
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,799
LAUGHING: I know! It's amazing.
And everyone's together. Yeah.
653
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,679
It's everything I wanted. Aw.
BELLS START STRIKING
654
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,479
OK, everyone, here we go. Ten!
ALL: Nine! Eight!
655
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,119
Huh? Well, no, hang on.
We're not ready.
656
00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:26,119
Well, it's the countdown.
They can't delay the countdown.
657
00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:28,319
The fireworks are packed up.
I need to lay them out individually!
658
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:29,519
Well, just light one of them, then.
659
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,239
They're stuffed together.
I can't just light one.
660
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,279
SAM: So light the lot, then.
Quick, Dad - it's midnight!
661
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,959
ALL: Happy New Year!
The fireworks! Light the fireworks!
662
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,119
Oh, God, OK, I'm lighting them!
RACHEL: Go, go, go.
663
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:40,399
OK, down! Everyone get down!
664
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,319
"Down"? "Get down"?
I don't want to get down.
665
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:44,599
Well, back. OK, here we go.
666
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,839
FIREWORKS WHISTLE
ALL: Ooh!
667
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:53,199
FIREWORKS POP AND CRACKLE
668
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,239
FINAL POP
669
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:55,279
SILENCE
670
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,839
ROBIN: Yes, Paul! That was sick!
CHEERING
671
00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:00,359
Paulo! Yes!
672
00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:03,199
Dad, that was actually really cool.
Yeah? Yeah.
673
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,919
I mean, it's a lot quicker
that way, right?
674
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,119
I know, it's fantastic.
That was mad!
675
00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:08,159
What'd you think?
676
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:11,119
Er...I think, you know...
677
00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:12,240
..fireworks.
678
00:27:13,251 --> 00:27:18,679
ALL: # Should auld acquaintance
be forgot... # Happy New Year.
679
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,879
Oi, Sam. Come on, mate.
# Be forgot... #
680
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,319
Come on, link arms.
681
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:23,999
# Dah, dah, dah-dah, dah, dah... #
682
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,679
SAM: Holly!
683
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,319
# Should auld acquaintance... #
684
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,799
I don't know the words.
I don't know the words.
685
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:33,319
Where's he going?
Oh, Holly's here.
686
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,159
Should they be, you know...
687
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:37,639
..necking like...?
688
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,839
Oh!
CHEERING AND LAUGHTER
689
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:41,119
OK, OK.
690
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:42,839
# ..syne, my dear
691
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:46,999
# For auld lang syne... #
692
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:52,360
MUSIC: Instrumental version of
Auld Lang Syne
693
00:27:52,410 --> 00:27:56,960
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