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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:41,739 --> 00:00:46,739 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:01:16,434 --> 00:01:19,310 Mommy! 3 00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:20,939 Mommy! 4 00:01:32,784 --> 00:01:34,784 Are you sure this is it? 5 00:01:34,786 --> 00:01:37,203 Yes, this is the address in the email. 6 00:01:37,205 --> 00:01:38,582 This is it. 7 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,421 No, it can't be. It's... 8 00:01:46,423 --> 00:01:51,759 Pepito, yes, it's me. Surprise! 9 00:01:51,761 --> 00:01:55,096 I lied. Come in, come in. 10 00:01:55,098 --> 00:01:57,932 I don't want my monsters to get all wet. 11 00:01:57,934 --> 00:02:01,769 Let's see. Come, let me warm you up. 12 00:02:01,771 --> 00:02:06,107 That's it. That's it. 13 00:02:06,109 --> 00:02:12,488 Of course, monsters don't get cold. Always warm. 14 00:02:12,490 --> 00:02:14,115 Are you thirsty? 15 00:02:14,117 --> 00:02:16,369 I warmed up the glasses. 16 00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:19,954 Take a seat. 17 00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:23,668 No! No! Not there! 18 00:02:25,462 --> 00:02:28,296 So, Pepito, what do you need from us? 19 00:02:28,298 --> 00:02:30,548 Why did you make us come dressed like this? 20 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:34,721 Stay right there so I can look at you. 21 00:02:37,349 --> 00:02:39,432 So, tell me... 22 00:02:39,434 --> 00:02:42,852 Were you all in the same egg? 23 00:02:42,854 --> 00:02:46,981 You know what? You could sit on her. 24 00:02:46,983 --> 00:02:51,696 And wiggle a little like this for warmth. Like this... 25 00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:56,908 Ah... this is so embarrassing. 26 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,285 We just realized you're a pervert. 27 00:02:59,287 --> 00:03:01,538 You called us because you're a pervert. 28 00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:04,960 - We have to go. - But, no... wait... 29 00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:09,087 - Goodnight, Pepito. - Hey! 30 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,256 What kind of name is Renaldo anyways?! 31 00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:12,924 - Enough. - Where is your "y"?! 32 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:15,011 Enough. Renaldo! 33 00:03:22,227 --> 00:03:24,980 Why did you get so mad at Pepito? 34 00:03:27,148 --> 00:03:29,315 As you know, my name is Renaldo. 35 00:03:29,317 --> 00:03:33,862 But the name should be Reynaldo. That's a real name. 36 00:03:33,864 --> 00:03:37,699 But when my mom named me, forgetful as she is, 37 00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:39,409 she forgot the "y", 38 00:03:39,411 --> 00:03:43,496 and I've been searching for it my whole life. 39 00:03:43,498 --> 00:03:46,332 In school, the kids made me feel like a monster 40 00:03:46,334 --> 00:03:49,002 because I was missing a part of myself, 41 00:03:49,004 --> 00:03:53,214 until I saw Bianca Nova's movie, The Woman with No Eye. 42 00:03:53,216 --> 00:03:57,512 Then I understood that missing a part of me made me unique. 43 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,938 I had never seen you as a kid. I like your little shoes. 44 00:04:08,940 --> 00:04:11,232 How long have you been working on that speech? 45 00:04:11,234 --> 00:04:15,238 A long time. Andrés helped me punch it up. 46 00:04:16,573 --> 00:04:19,826 - You forgot the last part. - Which part? 47 00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:23,077 "The kids made you feel..." 48 00:04:23,079 --> 00:04:26,247 Ah yes, the kids made me feel like a monster, 49 00:04:26,249 --> 00:04:31,046 so I embraced my monstrosity through horror. 50 00:04:32,756 --> 00:04:35,717 Please help us welcome Mark Stevens! 51 00:04:38,470 --> 00:04:41,640 What's up, mi gente? Make some noise! 52 00:04:43,058 --> 00:04:47,101 And give it up for yourselves for coming out today. My God! 53 00:04:47,103 --> 00:04:48,645 Are you ready to change your life 54 00:04:48,647 --> 00:04:50,855 and finally take control of your future? 55 00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:52,651 - Yeah. - Yes! 56 00:04:54,319 --> 00:04:56,736 Now, before Hierbalite, I was a waiter, 57 00:04:56,738 --> 00:04:59,030 making minimum wage and begging for scraps. 58 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:03,117 Today, I run my own business on my own terms, 59 00:05:03,119 --> 00:05:05,954 helping people lose, gain, or maintain weight. 60 00:05:05,956 --> 00:05:08,122 I'm my own boss, setting my own hours, 61 00:05:08,124 --> 00:05:10,667 and paying myself what I'm worth. 62 00:05:10,669 --> 00:05:12,212 Wanna be me? 63 00:05:13,672 --> 00:05:16,548 All you have to do is buy cases of our nutritional products 64 00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,550 and try to sell them to your friends and family 65 00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,635 while also cold calling a list of vulnerable people 66 00:05:20,637 --> 00:05:22,345 from a list of names that you buy from us 67 00:05:22,347 --> 00:05:24,432 and try to convince them to do the same. 68 00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:33,982 Look where I'm gonna live with my boyfriend! 69 00:05:33,984 --> 00:05:36,609 Tati... Have you met in person yet? 70 00:05:36,611 --> 00:05:40,029 No, we're exclusively chatting online, but I know what he looks like. 71 00:05:40,031 --> 00:05:42,031 Besides, absence makes the heart grow fonder. 72 00:05:42,033 --> 00:05:45,076 Of course. Wouldn't it be good if you met in person? 73 00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:48,999 Meet up with the love of my life... I've never thought of that. 74 00:05:50,792 --> 00:05:54,335 - What are you looking at? - Well, after the Pepito incident, 75 00:05:54,337 --> 00:05:57,088 I think we should try to find our own gigs 76 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,215 instead of just taking any gig that comes to us. 77 00:05:59,217 --> 00:06:03,052 Look. "Mayor Teresa Lobos comes to the city," 78 00:06:03,054 --> 00:06:06,766 "hopes to save her beach town from lack of tourism." 79 00:06:08,310 --> 00:06:11,938 I think a little horror could help this town. 80 00:06:13,732 --> 00:06:15,982 Come on, why are you bringing Frutsi here? 81 00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:19,194 Because he's not my problem anymore. I'm moving out. 82 00:06:19,196 --> 00:06:22,238 I'm part of a multi-level marketing company now 83 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,991 where I help people lose, gain, or maintain weight. 84 00:06:24,993 --> 00:06:27,368 No, no, no, I've heard of this. 85 00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:29,329 - It's a bad idea. - Look. 86 00:06:29,331 --> 00:06:31,331 No, no, no. Listen to me, Beatriz. 87 00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:35,501 A few years ago, I did what any young artist type would do... 88 00:06:35,503 --> 00:06:37,962 a cemetery photoshoot. 89 00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:39,797 Are you sure you got permission to do this? 90 00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:41,382 Yes, I already told you. 91 00:06:41,384 --> 00:06:43,927 If I sell these photos, it will be good for both of us. 92 00:06:43,929 --> 00:06:46,763 More. A little bit more. Come on. 93 00:06:46,765 --> 00:06:48,389 The leg, the leg... 94 00:06:48,391 --> 00:06:50,767 - and Úrsula... - Hey! 95 00:06:50,769 --> 00:06:53,019 Shit! Let's go, let's go! 96 00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:55,605 Get off my son's grave! 97 00:06:55,607 --> 00:06:58,066 Julio! Hey, don't leave me here! 98 00:06:58,068 --> 00:07:00,318 I'm going to sue you for everything you've got! 99 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:04,030 Grave defiler! Get off there! 100 00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:07,242 People will always want to take advantage of you. 101 00:07:07,244 --> 00:07:09,118 Hierbalite is a pyramid scheme. 102 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,247 A corporation that will steal your soul's last breath. 103 00:07:12,249 --> 00:07:13,998 Trust no one. 104 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,292 Well, I can trust corporations 105 00:07:16,294 --> 00:07:18,294 because Mark Stevens would never do that. 106 00:07:18,296 --> 00:07:20,924 He's a successful man, and rich people don't lie. 107 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,885 Let me tell you a bit about my town. 108 00:07:25,887 --> 00:07:28,721 Our economy depends on tourism, right? 109 00:07:28,723 --> 00:07:31,641 And we had a big attraction for many years: 110 00:07:31,643 --> 00:07:34,688 a little owl with a wig. 111 00:07:38,608 --> 00:07:42,277 But the wig got lost. Maybe it fell in the ocean 112 00:07:42,279 --> 00:07:44,404 because it was not well secured with a bobby pin. 113 00:07:44,406 --> 00:07:47,740 Every time I saw it, I'd say, "Please pin it down securely!" 114 00:07:47,742 --> 00:07:50,535 But I wasn't mayor then, you know? 115 00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:53,162 So, when I was running, 116 00:07:53,164 --> 00:07:56,541 I made a big campaign promise to find the wig. 117 00:07:56,543 --> 00:08:01,462 In fact, my slogan was, "We will find wig!" 118 00:08:01,464 --> 00:08:03,756 But I haven't had any luck. 119 00:08:03,758 --> 00:08:07,051 I came to the city today to visit wig shops 120 00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:11,014 in hopes of finding an identical wig, but no luck. 121 00:08:11,016 --> 00:08:14,853 I'm gonna have to return to my town empty-handed, you know? 122 00:08:18,481 --> 00:08:20,023 It's not pitted. 123 00:08:20,025 --> 00:08:22,442 Now, you said that you have some sort of solution. 124 00:08:22,444 --> 00:08:24,235 I don't have a wig for your owl, 125 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:27,407 but I can make you a new tourist attraction. 126 00:08:28,658 --> 00:08:32,996 Imagine rumors of a sea monster... 127 00:08:37,042 --> 00:08:39,584 We missed you at the ribbon cutting ceremony. 128 00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:42,837 Juan Carlos tells us you've been distracted 129 00:08:42,839 --> 00:08:44,714 with spooky things lately. 130 00:08:44,716 --> 00:08:48,718 What could more important than family or chocolate? 131 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,470 Am I even a part of this family, 132 00:08:50,472 --> 00:08:54,390 or am I just a beautiful orphan baby you couldn't resist bringing home? 133 00:08:54,392 --> 00:08:56,768 Of course you're a part of this family, my love. 134 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,520 I'm sure he's very excited for me... 135 00:08:59,522 --> 00:09:02,482 I mean, him, to be a part of the family business. Right, my darling? 136 00:09:02,484 --> 00:09:05,485 How great to have a boyfriend who can always speak on my behalf. 137 00:09:05,487 --> 00:09:08,071 Well, we have some business matters to discuss 138 00:09:08,073 --> 00:09:09,739 regarding our new "Charlie Wonka" chocolates. 139 00:09:09,741 --> 00:09:13,117 We received a cease and desist letter. 140 00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:19,082 It says "Charlie Wonka" is copyright infringement. 141 00:09:19,084 --> 00:09:22,210 They're just jealous. It doesn't matter. 142 00:09:22,212 --> 00:09:24,798 We still have "Mickey Moose" and "Harvey Potter" chocolates. 143 00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:30,969 Úrsula? A sea monster? 144 00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:32,929 He's so distracted lately. 145 00:09:32,931 --> 00:09:36,641 You have no idea how happy we are that you're in his life. 146 00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:39,852 Yes, and Valdez Chocolates is so happy to have 147 00:09:39,854 --> 00:09:43,857 such a closely ally in Juan Carlos Cookies. 148 00:09:43,859 --> 00:09:46,653 I think it's time to secure this alliance. 149 00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:51,823 And now, it's time for everyone's favorite segment, 150 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:53,950 "Ask Gregoria." 151 00:09:53,952 --> 00:09:55,994 First caller, you're on the line. 152 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:58,788 Hi, Gregoria! Is Satan real? 153 00:09:58,790 --> 00:10:01,207 And have you ever been in love? 154 00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:02,750 Satan is real. 155 00:10:02,752 --> 00:10:06,337 In fact, he calls the studio every day and I hang up! 156 00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:11,092 And yes, of course, I'm in love, in love with my viewers. 157 00:10:11,094 --> 00:10:12,635 Next call. 158 00:10:12,637 --> 00:10:14,762 Hi, Gregoria! Where are you from? 159 00:10:14,764 --> 00:10:17,557 - I was discovered on the beach. - Sure, okay. 160 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:20,395 But I mean, where are you from? 161 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:26,234 - I was discovered on the beach. - But what about before the beach? 162 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,324 I am Gregoria Santos from Mira Esto. 163 00:10:38,288 --> 00:10:41,414 Andrés! Can I get a minute? 164 00:10:41,416 --> 00:10:44,167 Give me your little hands and listen to my voice. 165 00:10:44,169 --> 00:10:46,085 I know we've been fighting lately. 166 00:10:46,087 --> 00:10:47,712 We've been growing apart, 167 00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,964 and I've been feeling tension and resentment. 168 00:10:49,966 --> 00:10:54,385 So... I spoke with your parents, and we came to a solution. 169 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:56,932 We have to get married. 170 00:10:58,099 --> 00:11:00,310 What do you think? Will you marry me? 171 00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:05,730 Good. I'll take that as a yes. The wedding will be very long. 172 00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:08,441 The vows will be very serious with no jokes. 173 00:11:08,443 --> 00:11:10,443 There will be a photo booth with a big flash 174 00:11:10,445 --> 00:11:12,070 and silly hats and mustaches 175 00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:15,156 for the guests to have fun in a designated area. 176 00:11:15,158 --> 00:11:19,202 Isn't this wonderful, my love? You and I genuinely falling in love? 177 00:11:19,204 --> 00:11:23,833 Valdez Chocolates and Juan Carlos Cookies becoming one. 178 00:11:25,544 --> 00:11:27,252 It's too big for my little hand. 179 00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:32,048 Okay, then you're gonna have to make a little fist at all times. 180 00:11:32,050 --> 00:11:35,051 Andrés, we have to go. Can you talk later? 181 00:11:35,053 --> 00:11:38,513 Can you give us a minute? We're discussing love and business. 182 00:11:38,515 --> 00:11:41,349 Juan Carlos, I've always wanted to know, 183 00:11:41,351 --> 00:11:43,726 were you named after Juan Carlos Cookies 184 00:11:43,728 --> 00:11:46,312 or were the cookies named after you? 185 00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:49,192 Don't be stupid. Of course I was named after the cookies. 186 00:11:51,736 --> 00:11:54,114 Goodbye, my love. See you later! 187 00:12:05,709 --> 00:12:08,585 So, you're engaged now? 188 00:12:08,587 --> 00:12:12,255 I don't know. I'm thinking about it. I told him "maybe." 189 00:12:12,257 --> 00:12:15,884 Dude, you're wearing a ring. Did you say "yes" or "maybe"? 190 00:12:15,886 --> 00:12:19,888 I was very clear. I told him "maybe" with my eyes, like this... 191 00:12:19,890 --> 00:12:23,268 You can't keep making important decisions with your eyes. 192 00:12:25,604 --> 00:12:27,896 Don't marry him. Sooner or later, 193 00:12:27,898 --> 00:12:29,856 you'll find out something awful about him. 194 00:12:29,858 --> 00:12:31,691 Everyone is hiding something. 195 00:12:31,693 --> 00:12:33,902 Just look at Tati over there being catfished 196 00:12:33,904 --> 00:12:35,904 by some weirdo pretending to be a prince. 197 00:12:35,906 --> 00:12:37,655 Úrsula, Tati's right here. 198 00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,490 She doesn't listen unless I say, "Listen". 199 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,117 Yes? 200 00:12:41,119 --> 00:12:43,453 We'll talk tomorrow night when we get back. 201 00:12:43,455 --> 00:12:45,455 Tomorrow? How far is this thing? 202 00:12:45,457 --> 00:12:48,041 The beach is four hours away. We're staying the night. 203 00:12:48,043 --> 00:12:51,419 Four hours? I told my boyfriend I'd meet him in 20 minutes. 204 00:12:51,421 --> 00:12:54,631 Tati, really? I explained it in the email. 205 00:12:54,633 --> 00:12:57,300 You're the only one who replied and said "received, thanks!" 206 00:12:57,302 --> 00:13:00,303 I received it, but I didn't read it. You should have told me. 207 00:13:00,305 --> 00:13:02,430 Tati, even if this was nearby, 208 00:13:02,432 --> 00:13:05,350 there's no way we'd be able to pick you up, pick up Úrsula, 209 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:09,437 pick me up, arrive at the beach, set everything up, do the gig, 210 00:13:09,439 --> 00:13:13,233 and be back in 20 minutes for you to make your date. 211 00:13:13,235 --> 00:13:15,570 Well, I'll ask him to wait for me at the table. 212 00:13:17,155 --> 00:13:19,489 Do you think they sell jeans here? 213 00:13:19,491 --> 00:13:22,369 Let's make sure to use the bathroom before we go. 214 00:13:24,454 --> 00:13:27,830 You can put it on my tab. 215 00:13:27,832 --> 00:13:31,920 - No, that's okay. - I insist. 216 00:13:33,630 --> 00:13:36,589 Well, thank you. 217 00:13:36,591 --> 00:13:40,512 - You can leave my tab open. - Of course. 218 00:13:42,472 --> 00:13:43,974 There you go. 219 00:13:46,351 --> 00:13:49,102 Thank you so much. 220 00:13:49,104 --> 00:13:51,271 My friends are waiting for me. 221 00:13:51,273 --> 00:13:55,318 That's too bad. Until next time then. 222 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,961 MISSING 223 00:14:23,221 --> 00:14:24,931 Tati, look at me. 224 00:14:27,058 --> 00:14:28,810 Okay, it looks good. 225 00:14:29,978 --> 00:14:32,353 - Can you breathe? - Yes. 226 00:14:32,355 --> 00:14:34,856 - Remember, you have to... - I have to wave, yes, I know. 227 00:14:34,858 --> 00:14:38,526 Wave, but don't scare the tourists. 228 00:14:38,528 --> 00:14:40,069 - Okay. - We want to attract tourists. 229 00:14:40,071 --> 00:14:41,613 Yeah, I'll go like this: 230 00:14:41,615 --> 00:14:43,698 - "Bang! Come to the town!" - No! No! 231 00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:46,492 Okay. "Come to town," yes, "bang," no. 232 00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:49,621 - Bang! - No, no, not bang. 233 00:14:49,623 --> 00:14:52,707 - Okay, here it is. Ready, Tati? - Yes. 234 00:14:52,709 --> 00:14:55,168 One, two, and... 235 00:14:55,170 --> 00:14:57,589 - So now I go into the water or... - Three! 236 00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:02,300 Careful, Tati! 237 00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:05,388 That way. That way. Tell her to go that way. 238 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,689 Renaldo, play the sea monster sounds now. 239 00:15:22,364 --> 00:15:24,866 Goddamned Frutsi. 240 00:15:32,415 --> 00:15:34,793 Hey, look! Look, look, look. Come! 241 00:15:43,552 --> 00:15:45,718 Hi, monster. 242 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,807 I'm gonna tell everyone I saw you. 243 00:15:55,689 --> 00:15:58,398 What do you think, Tico? 244 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,066 So... 245 00:16:00,068 --> 00:16:02,402 ...we have to wear these... 246 00:16:02,404 --> 00:16:05,699 sorta vests that have sparkles on them... 247 00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:09,035 No. What is... 248 00:16:15,292 --> 00:16:17,750 ...almost like a remote control. 249 00:16:17,752 --> 00:16:20,587 Miss, are you okay? Do you have a ticket for your car? 250 00:16:20,589 --> 00:16:23,172 Why do you want to see my ticket? 251 00:16:23,174 --> 00:16:25,969 So I can get your keys to bring you your car. 252 00:16:27,304 --> 00:16:29,014 You're obsessed with the ticket. 253 00:16:31,474 --> 00:16:34,100 - Have you been drinking? - Yes. 254 00:16:34,102 --> 00:16:36,644 I can't let you get behind the wheel like this. 255 00:16:36,646 --> 00:16:38,187 I'm gonna call you a taxi. 256 00:16:38,189 --> 00:16:42,110 No. Where will my car sleep? 257 00:16:44,863 --> 00:16:46,239 I'll drive you. 258 00:16:49,117 --> 00:16:51,576 - So, did you enjoy the movie? - No! 259 00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:55,330 People don't know how to make movies anymore. 260 00:16:55,332 --> 00:16:58,917 That's too bad. What kind of movies do you like? 261 00:16:58,919 --> 00:17:02,086 I used to make movies. 262 00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:08,176 Beautiful, terrifying, guttural movies. 263 00:17:08,178 --> 00:17:13,264 They just bled out of me till they sucked me dry 264 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,850 and tossed me aside. 265 00:17:15,852 --> 00:17:19,439 You make movies... What is your name? 266 00:17:20,690 --> 00:17:23,441 Oh, almost here. 267 00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,276 Slow down. 268 00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:29,739 - Here's fine. - Here? Are you sure? 269 00:17:29,741 --> 00:17:35,789 Have a good night, fella. My name's Bianca Nova. 270 00:17:44,756 --> 00:17:47,507 Wait, wait, no! Don't jump! 271 00:17:47,509 --> 00:17:49,135 And why not? 272 00:17:50,262 --> 00:17:53,888 Because... Look, then we have to call someone to... 273 00:17:53,890 --> 00:17:56,349 to come and pick up the body, and then... 274 00:17:56,351 --> 00:17:58,184 that person has to wake up in the middle of the night 275 00:17:58,186 --> 00:18:00,186 and drive all the way down here, and... 276 00:18:00,188 --> 00:18:02,647 There's nothing left for me here. 277 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,774 I'm a has-been. I haven't worked in years. 278 00:18:04,776 --> 00:18:07,777 No one remembers my movies. 279 00:18:07,779 --> 00:18:10,113 That's not true. My nephew loves you. 280 00:18:10,115 --> 00:18:12,657 He and his friends. They're obsessed with your movies. 281 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,284 You're a huge inspiration to them, 282 00:18:14,286 --> 00:18:16,327 and they're a horror group. 283 00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:21,165 What the hell is a horror group? Do they do makeup? 284 00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:23,585 They do makeup and prosthetics and things like that, 285 00:18:23,587 --> 00:18:26,504 and monsters, yeah. 286 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:29,591 Bianca, Ms. Nova, you have to do another movie. 287 00:18:29,593 --> 00:18:34,681 Perhaps your nephew's horror group could assist. 288 00:18:44,649 --> 00:18:48,778 SEA MONSTER TOUR 289 00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:52,032 Alright then! 290 00:18:54,117 --> 00:18:57,911 - What's this? - Uhh... our payment. 291 00:18:57,913 --> 00:19:01,915 Vouchers for Camaroncitos. That place, look. 292 00:19:01,917 --> 00:19:04,459 CAMARONCITOS A JUMP FROM THE SEA TO YOUR PLATE 293 00:19:04,461 --> 00:19:07,253 When are we gonna come all the way here to eat at Camaroncitos? 294 00:19:07,255 --> 00:19:12,217 - Well... - Go get us cash. 295 00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:15,011 I mean, the vouchers are money. 296 00:19:15,013 --> 00:19:18,640 Yes, but the thing is, we live four hours away... 297 00:19:18,642 --> 00:19:21,893 That's not a problem because they never expire. 298 00:19:21,895 --> 00:19:25,271 Right, but my friends and I were thinking 299 00:19:25,273 --> 00:19:27,440 we could use money to pay for gas and... 300 00:19:27,442 --> 00:19:31,444 You know, Camaroncitos is the best restaurant. 301 00:19:31,446 --> 00:19:36,491 The menu has ceviches, chicken fingers, pizzas, 302 00:19:36,493 --> 00:19:38,868 hamburgers, hot dogs, french fries, 303 00:19:38,870 --> 00:19:42,789 all kinds of sandwiches, chicken with rice, chicken soup, 304 00:19:42,791 --> 00:19:45,041 there's a "lite" menu with a Caesar salad 305 00:19:45,043 --> 00:19:46,960 with big chunks of chicken. 306 00:19:46,962 --> 00:19:50,715 There's also Jell-O, cheesecake, and much more! 307 00:19:51,967 --> 00:19:54,551 You're very lucky to have those vouchers. 308 00:19:54,553 --> 00:19:56,763 - Yes, right? - Of course. 309 00:19:57,806 --> 00:19:59,847 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 310 00:19:59,849 --> 00:20:01,558 - Well? - Well... 311 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:03,726 She says Camaroncitos is the best restaurant 312 00:20:03,728 --> 00:20:07,272 because they have pizza, burgers, soups. 313 00:20:07,274 --> 00:20:09,691 There's a "lite" menu with chicken, 314 00:20:09,693 --> 00:20:12,696 chicken burgers, chicken sandwiches... 315 00:20:15,699 --> 00:20:17,242 Fine, fine. 316 00:20:22,831 --> 00:20:25,331 - It'll be the same amount each month. - Each month? 317 00:20:25,333 --> 00:20:27,375 You can't expect tourists to keep coming 318 00:20:27,377 --> 00:20:29,460 if the monster shows up just once. 319 00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:32,424 Ah, yes. Sure, of course. 320 00:20:38,263 --> 00:20:40,849 You bring the smile, I bring the teeth. 321 00:20:44,269 --> 00:20:45,896 Awesome. 322 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,230 Let's go. 323 00:20:49,232 --> 00:20:51,816 Where's the chocolate prince? 324 00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:54,571 He said he needed to contemplate and went down to the beach. 325 00:21:08,126 --> 00:21:09,544 Andrés... 326 00:21:11,046 --> 00:21:14,923 Andrés! Dude, let's go! Tati has a date! 327 00:21:14,925 --> 00:21:17,884 I can't believe I'm running 23 hours late. 328 00:21:17,886 --> 00:21:21,097 - I'll go fast, Tati. - Thanks. 329 00:21:21,973 --> 00:21:24,768 Red cape, white collar... okay. 330 00:21:36,863 --> 00:21:38,404 Tati... Tati! 331 00:21:38,406 --> 00:21:40,281 I'm sorry, you must be looking for another Tati. 332 00:21:40,283 --> 00:21:44,327 No, no. It's me, from the chat room. 333 00:21:44,329 --> 00:21:46,037 But you don't look like your picture. 334 00:21:46,039 --> 00:21:51,084 The cartoon prince? I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. 335 00:21:51,086 --> 00:21:55,004 I know I'm not a cartoon prince, 336 00:21:55,006 --> 00:21:58,341 but you liked it so much, I just went with it. 337 00:21:58,343 --> 00:22:02,887 I didn't want you to be disappointed with the real me. 338 00:22:02,889 --> 00:22:04,639 You lied to me. 339 00:22:04,641 --> 00:22:07,225 All this time, you pretended to be someone else. 340 00:22:07,227 --> 00:22:11,938 It's not like that. I'm not a prince, but... I am a duke. 341 00:22:11,940 --> 00:22:15,608 - He's too handsome. - No, you know what you are? A liar! 342 00:22:15,610 --> 00:22:19,028 No, Tati, let's talk. Listen to me, please. 343 00:22:19,030 --> 00:22:21,322 Are you Duke Felipe of Spain?! 344 00:22:21,324 --> 00:22:24,617 Yes, yes, beautiful, but I can't talk now. 345 00:22:24,619 --> 00:22:28,496 - Tati, please, let's talk. - Duke Felipe! Can we take a picture? 346 00:22:28,498 --> 00:22:32,333 Sure, sure. Thanks. 347 00:22:32,335 --> 00:22:35,587 Tati, please, let's talk. Listen to me. 348 00:22:35,589 --> 00:22:37,755 I'm not gonna give you another second. 349 00:22:37,757 --> 00:22:41,676 - In fact, I missed work for this. - What? Work? My God... 350 00:22:41,678 --> 00:22:43,553 I'm a human Fitbit, and at this point, 351 00:22:43,555 --> 00:22:45,597 I have no idea how many steps my client has taken. 352 00:22:45,599 --> 00:22:48,516 - Tati, please, let's talk. - Maybe five... or ten... 353 00:22:48,518 --> 00:22:51,019 Alright, what stories do we have? 354 00:22:51,021 --> 00:22:53,062 A spider at a tattoo parlor 355 00:22:53,064 --> 00:22:55,648 is weaving a web that looks like the Virgin Mary, 356 00:22:55,650 --> 00:22:57,442 so people aren't getting tattooed there 357 00:22:57,444 --> 00:22:59,319 because they think the Virgin doesn't like it. 358 00:22:59,321 --> 00:23:02,363 I heard it, and now it's truth. I'll report it tomorrow. 359 00:23:02,365 --> 00:23:05,283 I heard about a sea monster at the beach in Montepio. 360 00:23:05,285 --> 00:23:07,702 We'll cover the spider story! 361 00:23:07,704 --> 00:23:10,081 Gregoria, did you hear that? 362 00:23:11,875 --> 00:23:13,251 The beach... 363 00:23:17,047 --> 00:23:18,963 The beach... 364 00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:21,424 Mommy! Mommy! 365 00:23:21,426 --> 00:23:25,887 Gregoria! Did you hear that? We'll cover the spider story. 366 00:23:25,889 --> 00:23:27,474 And you're fired. 367 00:23:33,605 --> 00:23:35,023 Frutsi, hold on. 368 00:23:36,483 --> 00:23:38,024 Uncle Tico! 369 00:23:38,026 --> 00:23:41,861 So, you won't believe what happened last night. Something pretty crazy. 370 00:23:41,863 --> 00:23:44,489 I met that director you were talking about. 371 00:23:44,491 --> 00:23:46,991 - The one that you like so much. - Bianca Nova? 372 00:23:46,993 --> 00:23:48,910 I told her all about you guys, 373 00:23:48,912 --> 00:23:50,912 and she said she's working on a project 374 00:23:50,914 --> 00:23:54,832 and maybe she'll hire you if you come to LA. 375 00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:57,252 That's incredible, Uncle. 376 00:23:57,254 --> 00:24:00,505 How did you meet her? What's she like? 377 00:24:00,507 --> 00:24:02,382 She's great. She's... 378 00:24:02,384 --> 00:24:07,887 healthy and normal... and levelheaded. No drama. 379 00:24:07,889 --> 00:24:09,847 She said she's working on a horror movie 380 00:24:09,849 --> 00:24:12,350 and if I know anyone who wants to work on it, please let her know. 381 00:24:12,352 --> 00:24:15,728 Wow, Uncle! That's incredible. I'm gonna call my friends. 382 00:24:15,730 --> 00:24:18,773 Thanks, Uncle. Bye. 383 00:24:18,775 --> 00:24:20,986 Did you hear that, Frutsi? Bianca Nova! 384 00:24:24,781 --> 00:24:27,448 Dear valued customer, if you would like to add minutes... 385 00:24:27,450 --> 00:24:29,784 Goddammit! 386 00:24:29,786 --> 00:24:32,996 As you can see, there's a dangerous cavity forming 387 00:24:32,998 --> 00:24:37,876 on the lower left canine. This one. 388 00:24:37,878 --> 00:24:41,337 Actually, Dr. Ricky, it's the upper right canine. 389 00:24:41,339 --> 00:24:42,841 You put the X-ray backwards. 390 00:24:47,178 --> 00:24:49,554 Úrsula, can I ask you something? 391 00:24:49,556 --> 00:24:51,472 - Who's the doctor here? - You are. 392 00:24:51,474 --> 00:24:54,352 And who's the low-level dental assistant? 393 00:24:56,563 --> 00:24:58,479 I don't have to take this from you. 394 00:24:58,481 --> 00:25:01,482 Really? What are you gonna do? Quit? 395 00:25:01,484 --> 00:25:03,651 You think you're gonna find another job 396 00:25:03,653 --> 00:25:08,617 that lets you wear flats and act like this? 397 00:25:11,536 --> 00:25:12,954 That's what I thought. 398 00:25:14,581 --> 00:25:15,957 I quit. 399 00:25:46,821 --> 00:25:48,240 Ugh, Pepito! 400 00:25:53,328 --> 00:25:54,829 Tati. 401 00:26:03,672 --> 00:26:05,090 Tati! 402 00:26:08,843 --> 00:26:11,469 Tati! 403 00:26:11,471 --> 00:26:14,973 - Welcome home, sister. - What's all this? 404 00:26:14,975 --> 00:26:18,643 After the breakup, I decided to focus on myself and my future. 405 00:26:18,645 --> 00:26:21,271 I've been lied to once, and I won't be lied to again. 406 00:26:21,273 --> 00:26:23,565 Beatriz told me about this amazing opportunity 407 00:26:23,567 --> 00:26:25,108 to make money from home 408 00:26:25,110 --> 00:26:27,819 helping people lose, gain, or maintain weight 409 00:26:27,821 --> 00:26:29,737 through the teaching of Mark Stevens. 410 00:26:29,739 --> 00:26:31,573 Where did all this stuff come from? 411 00:26:31,575 --> 00:26:34,325 I buy it from Hierbalite and resell it at a premium. 412 00:26:34,327 --> 00:26:37,203 - How much did this cost? - Two hundred thousand pesos. 413 00:26:37,205 --> 00:26:38,746 What?! 414 00:26:38,748 --> 00:26:41,583 I got the money through their lending program. 415 00:26:41,585 --> 00:26:44,627 They were so sweet helping me borrow the money. 416 00:26:44,629 --> 00:26:47,130 And thanks to their flexible lending terms, 417 00:26:47,132 --> 00:26:50,385 I don't have to pay it back till the end of the month. Cheers! 418 00:26:52,929 --> 00:26:54,431 Mm, tastes like cheesecake. 419 00:26:56,308 --> 00:27:00,478 - Juan Carlos... my love. - Everyone hates me! 420 00:27:02,188 --> 00:27:04,147 It was just a dream. Everyone loves me. 421 00:27:04,149 --> 00:27:05,982 - What's up? - I just remembered something. 422 00:27:05,984 --> 00:27:08,735 Remember when you proposed? 423 00:27:08,737 --> 00:27:11,154 I don't think I ever said no. 424 00:27:11,156 --> 00:27:16,367 I got in the car and was like, "Wait, I don't think that was clear." 425 00:27:16,369 --> 00:27:20,830 So, I'm telling you, now, at 6:00 a.m., before I forget: 426 00:27:20,832 --> 00:27:23,082 - No. - You're rejecting my proposal? 427 00:27:23,084 --> 00:27:25,793 I can't believe you're giving up all the work 428 00:27:25,795 --> 00:27:27,795 we put into this relationship 429 00:27:27,797 --> 00:27:30,342 just so that you have more time to scare people. 430 00:27:31,593 --> 00:27:34,262 Good luck finding another gay guy. 431 00:28:08,964 --> 00:28:12,050 Hello, Andrés. 432 00:28:14,675 --> 00:28:19,675 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 33872

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