Original subtitles

(tape deck rattles)

(muffled punk rock music)

- [Hannah] Okay, are you recording?

- [Charlie] Yeah, okay, uh, hi, this is Chuckie.

- [Hannah] And Hannah.

- [Charlie] And we're here today to put on record

that, uh, we're getting married!

- [Hannah] Chuckie, that's not what l said.

- [Charlie] Uh, okay, uh, what we agreed-

- [Hannah] We promised!

- [Charlie] Yeah, yeah, promised that if neither of us

are married by the time we're 30 years old, then--

- [Hannah] We will marry each other.

- [Charlie] Yeah!

- [Hannah] l'm gonna hold you to this

when you're a famous rockstar.

- [Charlie] You better, you'll come with me on the road.

- [Hannah] Maybe.

? Jesus rides a UFO, U-U-UFO

? Silver bars will take it slow

? Don't you wanna go

? Well, David rides a UFO, U-U-UFO

? Silver bars will do it slow

? Don't you wanna go

? Well, open up your barn, let the wind, wind, wind

? l said let's go

? Jesus rides a UFO, U-U-UFO

? Silver bars will do it slow

? Don't you wanna go

(cassette rattling)

(car engine turning)

? Open up your barn and let the wind, wind, wind

? Let's go

(gears rattling)

(weights clanking)

(upbeat music)

- Charlie?

- Oh, hey.

Yeah.

Curls, okay, really extend it so it doesn't get sore.

- Okay.

-And we're good. (chuckling)

Um, funny, l'm just bringing this up again, sorry,

but, um, the coupon that you had was for one free session?

- Uh huh.

- This is session number seven.

- Oh, uh, l'm sorry, but with the divorce and all,

l just forgot.

- No, it's fine, l mean, you're going through a divorce.

l know, just, next time, maybe.

- l promise you, really.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Charlie.

The promotion was a one time offer

to get new clients into the gym.

-Yeah.

(sighing)

- Corporate has also expressed concern

over your before and after pictures not being as

inspirational now that you're back to before.

- Fair, fair point, but listen, man.

l went through a break up, okay?

We've all been there, and it was hard, man.

Michelle and l breaking up was really hard on me.

- That was two years ago, man.

You dated forfive months.

- Seven months, okay, and it was holiday season.

That counts, that's like double.

(sighing)

Ah, don't get too impressed.

How's it goin'? - Good.

-You coming over tonight?

- Oh, l can't.

- Why not?

- Getting a spray tan.

-Alright, essential stuff.

- Maybe this weekend?

- l can't.

'Cause l'm goin' back home.

My brother had a kid.

-You have a brother? -Yeah, l do.

- Cool.

(instrumental punk music)

- Hi, sorry l'm a little late.

Charlie Cates?

- So, let's see.

Reading for gamer number four.

- Um, l thought it was like main gamer.

Principle gamer, it said.

- Uh, just have a seat and they'll call you in soon.

-Alright, cool.

l'll use this.

- Side, yes. - Side,

'cause you know, there's only like two lines.

That's fine.

lt's fine.

(quirky instrumental music)

Bruce.

Hey man.

Can you give me a ride to the bus station tomorrow?

(quirky instrumental music)

(taped deck rattles)

(instrumental punk music)

Oh.

Honk.

Oh, hey, baby.

Oh, Miranda.

(slowtuning)

(rock music)

- So, how old did you say you are?

- Oh, l'm 30.

- Really, oh.

l thought you were much younger than that.

- Oh, why thank you. (chuckling)

Oh, like in a bad,

wait, l'm sorry, aren't you 37?

- l mean, yeah, but, you know?.

-Well, you know,

women live like 10 years longerthan men,

so we're fine.

- Okay. - Cool.

(laughing)

- [Charlie] No way.

(laughing) - Come here.

- [Charlie] Wow.

Wow, hey baby mama.

- Oh, hi Charlie.

- Hi, baby.

Oh, can l?

- Of course.

- Of course you can.

- Oh hey.

Oh my good, she's so beautiful.

-You look like you're getting a little shorter.

- He's just losing some muscle mass.

- Thank you.

Oh, um, here.

- [Waiter] Okay, thank you.

- Uh, you know, l usually wait to tip

until we get the bill.

- Oh well, you know, different strokes.

l'm sorry.

- l'm gonna eat you, l gonna eat you!

(laughing)

Wow, she is way better looking than both of you.

(laughing)

Can l touch her, is that okay? - Of course.

- So, um, what brings you back to Modesto?

- Uh, well.

l, uh, got divorced.

And l just thought it'd be nice

to spend some time with family, you know,

hang out with my mom.

- [Man] Oh, l didn't.

l didn't know you were divorced.

- ls that a problem?

Your voice went up.

- l mean, no.

- [Waitress] Thank you guys so much.

No rush on this, take your time, thank you for coming in.

- Oh no, l got it.

Stop it, quit!

l got this, l insist.

- Here, take it, thank you so much.

- [Waitress] Thank you.

(upbeat music)

- Hey.

Whoa, easy there, Swiper McSwiperson.

Listen, l'm gonna need you to put 65 on this card, alright?

And 80 on this.

- Okay. - Nope, not done yet.

100.

No more than 100 on this, please.

- [Waitress] Okay.

- Thank you so much.

- So you wanted three separate cards for one check?

- l wanted, yes, l do.

(train horn blowing)

- [Boy] What the fuck?

- l'm sorry, l'm sorry, l'm sorry.

l didn't see anything.

- No, go out the bathroom window.

Go out the bathroom window!

Ugh.

l am so sick of having to share a room with you.

-Well, you know, sweetie, it's my room, so.

-Was.

(sighing)

-You know, when l was you age, l used

to sneak a boy in, too.

Dougie.

Hey.

Look.

Look at me.

lf you ever have any questions, l'm here to answer-

-Yeah, l have the fucking internet.

-Yes, l know.

But,

if your boyfriend is not--

- He's not my boyfriend.

- Okay, if the gentlemen who you were just straddling,

if he's not satisfying you in like a,

like,

do you have orgasms?

- Oh my god.

- [Hannah] Do you have those?

-Yeah.

- Oh.

Okay, great, that's amazing.

That's great.

Um-- - l mean.

l think so.

- No, it's not something you think.

You just know.

- How do you know l would know?.

- Look.

When l was 18, my friends bought me a little friend.

Um, and,

Key, this guy.

This is a vibrator.

- Oh my god.

- Look, l know it's weird, but...

Most boys think that all the actions inside

and really it's on top.

Have you ever heard of the clitoris?

lt's a--

-Yeah, l've heard of the clitoris.

- Okay, that's great.

Most teenage boys do not know about the clitoris.

-Yeah, actually, l think most guys do know

what a clitoris is.

- l really doubt that.

Are they still doing the (grumbling).

-Yeah.

- Really?

-Yeah.

- That's crazy.

l mean, just so much has changed in the world

and like, teenage boys arejust all the same.

Um, okay.

This is, look, it's gonna be weird for me, too.

We never have to talk about this again.

l'm just going to give you a little bit

of an instruction and that's it.

So, this guy.

Um,

is, they come in many different, you can choose

your own preferred shape.

And you just, you put it like on,

don't worry, l'm not gonna show you my vagina.

But you put it sort of on top.

- Okay, but what about a vaginal orgasm?

- Oh god that's just like some misogynistic thing

that men made up to convince themselves

that their girlfriends aren't faking it.

(scoffing) - No, it's not.

- No, really, it's like something you see in movies.

lt's not like in real life. - No, no, no it's not.

My friend Amber has both kinds.

She says they feel different.

- Really?

-Yeah.

- Oh, well.

Anyway, l just, l get the one kind then.

The on top kind.

- Maybe there's something wrong with you.

- So, anyway, lesson over.

But, in case you want me to get you one, l will.

And-- - No, that's okay.

-Yeah, okay.

You canjust remain orgasmless.

Good luck.

(train horn blaring)

- Oh.

- l fucking told you, l was- (laughing)

Can l ask you something?

Why did you name your kid Barry?

- Okay.

- She's a little girl.

- The thing is now, boys are girls names,

girls are boys names, and Eleanor,

she is very competitive.

-Yeah, yeah.

So wait, baby names are a competition, then?

Are they?

- Everything is a competition.

-Yeah.

l got ya. (laughing)

Does it

like scare you, man?

-You asked me the exact same question when l got married.

-Yeah.

(train horn blaring)

(baby crying)

- [Matt] l don't know what you want me to do.

- [Eleanor] l can't.

- [Matt] l know, l know, l know, okay, okay.

l got you, l got you.

Daddy's here. (baby crying)

Hey, hey look. (baby laughing)

(slow music)

(doorbell ringing)

(knocking)

(knocking)

- Chuckie.

You can't ring my doorbell after seven pm.

Now, what the hell?

-Why is it-- - Shh.

(baby crying) Come into the garage.

- [Charlie] My bad.

- [Man] Please be quiet.

- [Charlie] Okay.

- [Man] lt's good to see you.

- [Charlie] Alright.

Yeah boys.

Whoo!

We'rejust waiting for some partying, huh?

- l thought you got ripped.

- No, yeah, yeah, l had to lose some muscle

for a role, a big role.

- No way, what role, dude?

- lt was an audition, actually, a commercial.

- No way, like a Superbowl commercial

or something like that?

- No, a pharmacy, local.

Local pharmacy.

Lots of money, though, you know.

Almost got that one.

Dude, you know what l thought about, like,

if we had had like the Facebook and the Twitter

and the fucking Periscope and the sex app, what's that,

Snapchat shit, dude we totally would've made it.

Some Kickstarter well placed,

dude we could've still been on the road, man.

-Yeah, but Chuck, l mean, you did kind of make it, man.

You got out of town, you're livin' the dream.

-Yeah, l'm living the dream.

Yeah, fuckin' LA's awesome, you know?.

- For sure.

- But dude, you Devon, like you said you wouldn't

get married and you didn't.

And l got it.

- Free man, my brother.

But you know, everybody else did.

Neverthought about that.

-Yo, where's your stuff?

l thought we were gonna play.

- [Man] Oh shit, you were serious about that?

-Yeah.

- Oh no, dude, no chance.

l mean, no way, the baby is sleeping.

l mean...

- Right.

(quirky instrumental music)

- Ugh.

(quirky instrumental music)

- Hannah, come sit down.

-What's up guys?

You look serious.

What?

- Did you get Claire to masturbate for you?

- Oh my god, no.

-You, little miss, are a sexual predator.

- Excuse me?

That's a joke, right?

- My daughter is too young for a sex talk.

- Okay, well there you're wrong.

Also, it's a complete misunderstanding.

-What is going on with you?

Your whole life is in a storage unit in Modesto.

You've got wine all over you or some substance.

And you're handing out vibrators to teenagers

and showing them how to do things with them?

l mean, who taught you this stuff?

- Okay, l'm sorry, l made a mistake.

-Yeah, hello.

- Look.

l'm sorry

that this place isn't as comfortable

as you'd like it to be.

But, maybe,

we can turn the office into a bedroom forjust the weekends.

- l'm sorry, what?

Are you guys getting married or something?

(soft music)

Seriously, tonight?

- Hannah.

Hannah! - Let her go.

(country rock music)

- [Hannah] Hi.

- [Bartender] Hey.

- [Hannah] Can l get a glass of house red, please?

- [Bartender] You got it.

(country rock music)

- [Hannah] Thank you.

(soft music)

No way.

- Stop.

- [Hannah] Hi.

- [Charlie] Hi.

- Oh my god.

- [Charlie] Come.

Are you serious?

- Oh my god.

Hi.

- [Charlie] Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- [Hannah] Hi.

-What are you doin' here?

-You know, just, um, l came home for a little while.

-Wow.

Look at your hair, it's like an adult person.

-Yeah, l am adult.

- [Both] We are adults.

-Yeah, you look great.

- Thank you.

You look exactly the same. (laughing)

ls that?

-Yep, yep, yep.

- ls that her?

- She's the one, yeah, Miranda.

-Wow.

- She's a little shy, so.

-You're still playing?

That's amazing.

-Yeah.

l'll play, yeah, l play all the time.

Yeah.

-Yeah.

You're a rockstar.

- But yeah.

Hi.

- Hello.

- Can l buy you a drink?

You remember when l wrote you the song

''Hannah ls Lonely 'Cause She Wants To Be?''

And you like smacked me in the face

and made me change the name?

- No.

- Really?

- Oh, look at yourface.

Of course l do.

Do you remember when l made you that mix tape

of break up songs and then Matt broke it

and you really upset so then you made me a mix tape

of all ironic songs.

- lronic songs, yeah.

Gee, but Matt always made it about him.

- l know, l can't believe he got someone to marry him.

- Everybody we know got married.

Everyone. - l know.

Not you.

Good job.

- Cheers.

Yeah.

l get it at least, l mean who knows, right?

Are you, wait, are you married?

- Nope.

- Oh.

lnteresting.

What do you do for fun?

- Oh, l do nothing for fun.

-Ah, stop.

- l used to be fun.

- Hell yeah.

You were so fun.

What did we used to do for fun?

(upbeat punk rock music)

? l called in sick to work today

? And stayed in bed 'til noon

? And now l just don't care what's going on

? Outside this room

? Things aren't getting better

? My future's not too bright

? Fuck the world, l'm hanging out with you tonight

You remember when we paid Thom, with an H,

we paid him 40 bucks to get us fake lDs

so we could go to watch The Descendants.

Then we show up and-- -And it was an all ages show.

(laughing) l remember.

- [Charlie] Do you remember the Fireman's Party--

- [Hannah] You stayed after school waiting for me.

- [Charlie] Oh your dad had to come bail us out.

- [Hannah] Do you remember the time we skipped

Spanish finals to drive to Spring Fest?

l never thought at the time we were doing anything

worth remembering.

- Ching Shih, my love.

- Ching Shih, baby.

- No.

Oh my god.

- Chuckie, they're so pretty.

? l'm really going nowhere

? l hate this shitty life

? Fuck the world, l'm hanging out with you tonight

? Whoa oh oh oh oh

? Whoa oh oh oh

Play me something, Charlie.

- Oh, yes, ma'am.

lt would be my pleasure.

? Hannah, don't be lonely, even if you want me

? Hannah, don't be--

-You can't try on clothes in the store.

No, hey.

You've gotta pay forthat dress.

? Whoa oh oh oh

? Whoa oh oh oh

? Whoa oh oh oh

? Fuck the world l'm hanging out with you tonight

? Fuck the world l'm hanging out with you tonight

? Fuck the world l'm hanging out

- Thank you.

Oh, Chuckie, no.

- l just always-- - l know.

-Yeah, sorry, it's silly.

l gotta a little,

that's what it is.

- Oh fuck it.

? Whoo hoo ooo ooo

? Whoo hoo ooo ooo

- Dude!

Successfully out of the friend zone.

What?

(laughing)

Let's...

Let's do it.

-Whoa. (laughing)

- No. - l'm not that kind of girl.

- No, let's get married. -What?

- l'm dead serious.

Dude,

look at you.

l mean, l get it.

No, no, l get it.

We're both over 30, right?

We're both single.

Remember how we made that promise?

-Yeah, but Charlie, every kid in the 90s made that promise.

-Yeah, but we can keep it, Hannah.

(laughing)

- Listen, the only reason why we didn't get together

was because you were with that douche, Dougie.

- That's not true, Chuckie.

l liked us as friends.

- Hannah, we can do this.

We can do this better than anybody can.

l missed you, like crazy, and l didn't even realize it

until l saw you today.

We can be like this, just like this forever.

Are you happy?

ls this not happy?

When's the last time you were happy?

(laughing) You wanna do it?

You wanna do it?

Come on, be my wife.

-Yeah. -Yeah?

Sweet!

Are you serious?

Fuck yeah. (laughing)

Let's do it.

-We should do this now.

- l would, yeah.

- Marty, Marty Galvez.

- Marty Galvez-- -Justice of the Peace.

l know where he lives.

- What the fuck, you guys?

- We wanna get married, dude.

Marry us.

- Here, take these.

- Oh thank you so much. - Thank you.

- l always wanted a towel. - She's so nice.

- Right?

l command you to marry us.

No, just kidding, but seriously.

? Love

? True love

- Have you seen that movie?

- Oh l love that movie.

- [Hannah] l love that movie.

- [Charlie] ''So you're prepared to die.''

l did the voice.

- [Marty] How drunk are you guys?

- Six fingered man. -Yeah.

- Don't be rude. - Stop it.

- l am slightly drunk. (laughing)

- Marty.

Don't be mad.

-You get truthful when you're drunk.

l made him mad.

- [Charlie] l know.

Hey, are you mad?

- [Hannah] Your wife is so pretty.

- l look okay?

-You're really pretty. - Thank you.

- Okay, let's get this over with.

-Alright, cool.

Let's do it.

Come on.

- Fuck it, okay.

Charlie Cates, do you take Hannah Beckerto be your wife?

-Yeah.

Oh yeah.

- Oh.

- lt's ''l do.''

- Oh, l'm sorry.

l do.

-Alright.

Hannah Becker, do you take Charlie Cates to be your husband?

-Yes, l do. - Oh, you got me!

l was like, ''What?''

- Cool.

Alright, you can kiss.

(gasping) - Uh oh.

(kissing)

(yelling) -We got married!

-Alright, great.

Break it up you alley cats.

Hey, hey, alright, look, look.

So look, just fill out this form.

l'll certify you both in the morning.

Now will you please leave?

-Yes.

-Alright, Chuckie.

- [Charlie] Love you buddy.

- Babe, they're drunk, we can't let them drive.

- Oh my god, we're drunk, you can't let you drive.

-We can't let 'em on any of the furniture,

they're soaking wet.

(birds chirping) (slow music)

- Hi.

(slow music)

-Yeah.

(laughing)

- Christopher.

Come eat your breakfast.

- Okay.

(quirky instrumental music)

- [Charlie] Um, thank you for...

- lt's a very nice house.

(quirky instrumental music)

Nice out.

Oh there it is.

- Oh, nice parking job, honey.

- l'm glad l didn't hurt anyone last night.

- [Hannah] Ah, keys.

- [Charlie] Sweet.

- Okay.

(car engine turning)

Seatbelt.

- [Charlie] Got it.

- [Hannah] Can we go?

- [Charlie] Let's go.

-Alright.

(slow percussion music)

- [Charlie] Just married!

Yeah!

- So, this was both your idea?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

l asked and she said yes.

- [Hannah] l said yes.

- [Charlie] Yeah, awesome.

- Marriage is a lot of work.

- l know that mama.

- [Matt] Do you?

- Oh my gosh, l couldn't be happier for the two of you.

- Thank you, mom.

Finally some positivity.

- So you're moving, right?

-Yes, l am moving out.

-Where are you gonna live?

- Uh, we're not sure yet.

-Well l thought maybe my place in LA.

ls that cool?

-Yeah.

- [Grace] That's perfect.

-Yeah, LA.

And l also thought we could drive together.

Have a little road trip.

- Do you have a car here?

- No, it's in LA, but you-

- Oh l share a car with Claire, so.

-Yeah, her engine blew up because she didn't

put enough oil in it.

- That's not actually what happened, mom.

- lt is.

Cookies, everybody.

(all chattering)

- Charlie how could you possibly--

-What are you gonna do?

The Lyft thing?

-You were gonna be star, what happened to all the videos?

- Do you want this?

ls this what you want?

(all chattering)

- Guys, guys.

Stop it.

Stop it right now, stop it!

Stop it!

Listen.

This is a good thing.

l did it.

l did this thing.

- Technically, we did it.

- l'm so sorry, yes, we.

- lt's okay, l understand, it's a newthing.

Right, we get to say we now.

-Yeah. -We're a we.

-We're a we.

Yeah, and we're happy.

So, you guys be happy, alright?

(slow quirky music)

(tape deck rattling)

(slow, quirky music)

Welcome to LA, my love.

Let me get us a ride.

Bruce!

(slow quirky music)

(slow acoustic music)

We're in here.

Oh, we should do the,

we're married, l should-

- Oh, oh, oh god, okay.

-Yeah, do you wanna try it?

Oh, l think l-- - Let's not.

- lt's really stupid.

Because l haven't been working on my arms lately.

Alright, cool.

Welcome.

Alright, welcome to your house.

l'm sorry it's such a mess.

l wasn't expecting a wife, you know?.

Welcome. (kissing)

Um,

what do you think?

Huh?

- Hey.

Do you wanna go to the beach?

- Like the actual beach?

- [Hannah] Yeah, first time in LA,

isn't that the first thing you do?

- Um, no, it's like 20 miles away.

l've never actually been to the beach here.

- Oh my god, really?

Why?

- lt's freezing, dude.

Like, you need a wet suit if you wanna go in.

Hell no.

- They didn't wear wet suits on Baywatch.

- That show was shot in Hawaii, so.

Yeah.

- Hey.

- [Charlie] Yeah?

- Remember that New Years that we didn't

have any plans and hated everyone else's

so we drove four hours to the beach

and went skinny dipping and got arrested?

-Yeah.

That was actually the last time l went to the beach.

You wanna go again?

- Good morrow, Charles, and congratulations to me.

lt is official, l am a licensed minister,

itjust came in the mail.

Best 20 bucks l've spent since l got those

As Seen on TV furniture coasters.

-Ah, sweet.

Oh, oh Hannah.

This is my room mate, Bruce, and this is my wife, Hannah.

- Hi.

- 'Sup?

-Yeah.

What are you doing today, buddy?

- Big day.

Big, big, big day.

- [Charlie] He's so good on that thing.

l got it, l got it.

- [Bruce] You got it?

This was great.

- Ciao.

He's great.

So, you wanna come chill?

- How many bedrooms is this?

- Oh, just the one.

Oh, okay, but l have the bedroom area

and Bruce, he's got the living room area.

We're kind of in his space right now, but,

this is awesome, you know?.

l get to live with my best friend and my wife

in the same place.

l always hoped that that would be possible

but l didn't know if that could work out you know?

Thank you, honey.

-Yeah.

(chuckling)

Hey.

You wanna go to a restaurant, get some food or somethin'?

-Yeah.

We should, l mean, what type of food do you like?

-Whatever.

-Alright, well, uh, what do you feel for like right now?.

-Anything, l'm easy.

- Cool, but do you see how, like it would

be really helpful to me if you were

a little more specific?

Just for--

-We always ended up somewhere nonspecific

and had a good time, right?

-Yeah.

Yeah.

Let's go.

- Don't be mad.

- l'm not mad.

lt's the best day of my life.

After you, madame.

No, no, please allow me.

- [Hannah] Oh thank you.

Shit.

- [Charlie] What?

- l forgot to tell them no tomatoes on my salad.

- Oh, shit.

Um, you don't like tomatoes?

- No, l'm like allergic, deathly.

You don't remember?

- Really?

No.

No, but l do remember yourfavorite food.

Nachos.

Husband points for me.

-Yeah, it used to be.

(Charlie mumbling)

Hey, let's do like a getting to know you exercise.

Give me your phone.

- Straight for the phone, madame?

- l won't look at texts.

l just wanna see your Google history.

-Alright.

Um.

- l promise. - Okay, go ahead.

l trust you.

- Okay.

Let's see.

What have you been searching?

''How to pass the California smog test?''

Okay.

''Celebrities who've had late in life success.''

- Okay.

- ''People who achieve success over 30.''

l sense a theme.

Stan Lee was 39 when he--

-Yeah.

There's still hope for me, huh?

(laughing)

Alright, pass it over.

Let me see yours.

- No.

- No?

Fine, l don't need to see it.

Ask me another question.

-When's the last time you had sex?

- Oh.

You really wanna know?.

- [Hannah] Mhm.

- Oh, okay.

Two weeks ago?

-You don't wanna ask me when the last time

l had sex was?

-Absolutely not.

- Okay. - Okay?

No.

Please don't tell me.

Let me ask you something.

Let's see.

What do you wanna do for work?

- l don't really know.

l used to be in pharmaceutical sales, but, now,

it's not what l wanna-

Why are you laughing?

- Um,

nothing it's just,

every like hot girl in my college

studied pharmaceutical sales

if she wanted to marry a doctor, you know?.

- Oh.

-Alright.

- [Hannah] Thank you.

- So for sauces we have lemon aioli,

mesquite barbecue--

- Oh my god, you're gonna have to roll me

out on a stretcher with these fries.

-And jalapeno mustard.

-Actually, make that two stretchers please.

'Cause, you know, we're married now, so l wanna,

l wanna roll out with her.

We roll deep, l would say.

- [Waiter] Okay.

- [Charlie] Bon appetit, my love.

- Oh, anyway, l do have a lot of savings so l just

thought l'd skate for a while and see what happens.

- Would you like to like, just run off to Mexico?

- [Hannah] What?

- No, look, we could like live on a beach and sell things.

- Um, why Mexico?

-Well, l mean you speak Spanish and l kind of--

- l don't speak Spanish.

Why would l speak Spanish?

- But you lived in Spain for like two years.

-Yeah but everyone there speaks English too.

- Like for a second l thought that you would

be too busy reading The Alchemist to remember

your white privilege but gracias.

- No, totally.

l mean, at least l left the state.

(laughing)

- Did you also go to lndia by any chance?

You know, really find yourself, enlightenment.

- No, l mean, you know,

l had experiences, l made mistakes

and then l became a grown up.

And when you do that, you'll also be able

to share those things.

-Wow.

Actually, well played.

- Don't worry, l don't want a big ring or anything.

l'm not like that kind of adult.

(laughing)

-Yeah, like a wedding ring?

-Yeah, l mean, to be clear, l do want a ring.

Just not like a big one.

-Why would you want?

You hatejewelry.

- People change.

- No they don't, l mean, not really.

-Yeah, actually, they do.

But...

-What the hell are you wearing?

- My PJs.

-Yeah but like, it's our wedding night.

You look like you just had a baby.

Like a big one.

-Yeah, well you're wearing a t-shirt.

-A muscle t-shirt.

- l'm not showing you mine until you show me yours.

- Oh is that how it works, then?

- Mhm.

-Well l got something to show you.

l've been known, come here.

Come here, yeah.

Alright, it's a secret, so l gotta tell you--

(laughing)

Oh hey.

- Sorry.

Gotta go TT.

Hi.

- lt's a one bathroom.

- Sorry, l'll be quick.

- [Hannah] Great.

- Right.

- [Bruce] Oh.

Hey.

Dosey doe my lady.

Clementine.

She makes hemp soap.

-You love that soap.

- l think she could be the one.

- Really happy for you dude.

- Oh, there she is.

- Hi, nice to meet you.

- Nice to, it was nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

- [Bruce] Those PJs, really good PJs.

- Have a good night, thank you.

(laughing)

l'm so sorry.

l'm so sorry.

- l can't do it, Chuckie.

- Please don't say that, Hannah.

- l can't.

There is no room for me here.

-Yeah, but l'll make room.

l'll do it, like, l'll make,

just, we gotta give it a shot, you know?

l know actually.

You see, there's this rule in life.

lt's been that way for generations

that if a man writes you a song you can't leave him.

? lt was a cold, cold day

? Cold, cold night

? When Hannah wanted to say good bye

? But l said Hannah don't leave

? Hannah will you stay

? 'Cause if you don't, l'll probably wind up gay

? l'm closing off already

? And that's just fine

? But l really wanna make you mine

? Not that there's anything wrong with that

-Alright, alright, you've done enough.

You've done enough.

- Oh man, every time.

- [Hannah] Oh yeah.

- [Charlie] Give me some space.

-You're such a nerd.

-Am l, really?

- [Hannah] Yeah.

Oh, um.

No, ow.

Okay, wait.

No.

Sorry.

Sorry, itjust didn't feel good.

- l though it would feel better.

l should've asked you.

Okay, so,

we can figure this out.

So what do you like?

- l'm sorry.

l know some of this just takes time.

-Well it wouldn't take time if you just

tell me what you like.

l don't care, like, you can tell me anything.

- Okay.

Well, um, l guess the first thing you need to know

is that l actually don't orgasm any way

except through oral.

(chuckling)

- Oh, l'm sorry.

You don't come from sex?

- No, it's actually pretty common.

- No.

Not for any of my exes it wasn't.

- Well, like 70�/? of women don't come

through intercourse, so, that's unlikely.

- l don't know, 'cause that really

hasn't been my experience, you know?.

Just mine personally, you know?.

-Yeah, but l'm saying it probably has been your experience,

youjust haven't noticed.

- How can you insult me in bed while you

haven't even tried me.

- Okay.

l'm sorry, you're right.

But you know, you asked.

-You know, l'm sorry.

You know what?

These things probably do take time, right?

So let's just try another day.

Just, l'm kind of tired and it's kind of hard to-

-Yeah, fine, me too.

- So, yeah.

- Do you really not have a second pillow?.

- Here, honey.

- l didn't wanna take--

- l'm saying here, alright?

- Thank you.

- [Charlie] You're welcome.

- lt's generous.

(deep exhale)

- [Charlie] Good night.

- Do you not have a top sheet?

- [Charlie] Seriously?

(slow quirky music)

- Sorry l keep forgetting my toothbrush.

Are you sure it's okay that l'm using yours?

-Yeah, no worries.

Go nuts.

(brushing)

- Hey, why is there only one toothbrush in this bathroom?

-What do you mean?

- l mean, where's Bruce's?

(exclaiming)

- Oh you got the.

No, just there.

Why am l doing this?

Ah, that burns.

- Charlie, your wife is here.

- Oh yeah, what, hey. - Hey.

Look at this

- [Charlie] l know.

-You're at work.

-Yeah. - Hi.

This is great.

-Yeah, it's a gym, you know.

What are you doing here?

- Oh, l just needed to run errands

and l don't have a car.

Can l borrow yours?

- Oh yeah, sure. - Great.

- lt's out there. - Great.

- Um, shit, you know what?

Yeah.

You could join the gym and l could personal train you.

We can do, like, couples do things.

- Oh, l'm, uh, maybe tomorrow?.

-Yeah, yeah, anothertime.

-After, when l get settled.

- The thing, okay, cool.

(kissing)

- [Hannah] Okay, buh bye.

- Bye ya.

-Your wife?

-Yeah. -You got married?

-Yeah, it's actually a super long story.

lt's actually not very long at all.

l got married, and that's my wife.

No, no, dude.

We were just casual.

We never had the talk.

-Yo, you got married?

-You got married?

- Good luck with that, bro.

-Yeah, good luck with that, bro.

-Alright, thanks guys.

- [Logan] Get her car man.

And her own bathroom.

- [Man] And tell her when she wakes up in the morning

without makeup, she's beautiful.

- Great, great, great.

l'll keep that in mind, guys, thank you.

- Hey, we try.

- Um.

(blowing airthrough lips)

Bruce.

(upbeat quirky music)

Um.

- Can l help you, man?

- Uh, yeah.

Yeah, actually.

l wanna make a mix tape for a lady.

-A playlist?

- No, no, dude, like l wanna take an actual cassette

and put a bunch of like old punk bands on it.

Like, l wanna take the CD and the CD player

and then just burn it into a tape.

Remember how we used to do that?

That was sick.

- Cassette tapes and CDs are done, bro.

-Yeah.

Yeah, but you sell records.

- This is how we do it here, man.

lf you wanna live in the past, you have to live

past-erthan what you're looking for.

(slow music)

(upbeat quirky music)

- Um, excuse me.

Um, sorry.

Hello, no, no, no.

- [Hannah] Hey, Chuckie.

- Hey.

What's with all the stuff?

- My stuff, my mom sent a bunch of my stuff

and furniture and...

-Yeah, but l already have a bed.

ln my bedroom.

-Yeah, but l do, too, and it's super comfy, l promise.

-Yeah, okay, whatever.

We'll figure it out, right?

Oh there's a bicycle, too.

Sweet.

- Hey, excuse me.

Can you, um, maybe here?

l don't think we should have a TV in our bedroom.

- But l like TV.

l've always had a TV in my bedroom.

-Yeah, but now l'm here.

We never watch TV together.

We always had too much fun talking.

(toilet flushing)

Hey, Bruce.

You want that TV?

-Yep.

- No, it's my TV. - lt'll be right outside.

- Catya?

- He doesn't need two TVs out there.

-Yes, babe?

- [Bruce] Give me a hand with this TV, babe.

- Sure.

Hi, l'm Catya.

- Hi, Catya.

- Can you watch out with the, the right leg.

Thank you.

- [Catya] Nice to meet you guys.

- [Bruce] l think she may be the one.

- Right, l'm gonna go to the coffee shop real quick.

-Are they even open this late?

- [Charlie] Yeah, 'til midnight.

(upbeat acoustic music)

- Hey.

What's up?

- Oh hey.

- [Hannah] What cha been doin'?

(exhaling) - Big day.

Big, big, big huge day.

Huge day.

(exhaling) Big day.

What are you up to in my room?

- Oh, yeah, oh, l keep forgetting.

l'm sorry.

Here.

- [Bruce] Oh, no problemo, me quarto es su quarto.

How was your dia?

- [Hannah] Uh, good.

Yeah, really good.

Just

hangin'.

(upbeat percussion music)

- Do you want me to throw anything in foryou?

- No, l'm good.

(upbeat percussion music)

Hey, l meant to say something.

You guys don't have any dishes or anything.

-Yeah.

So we don't have to do dishes.

- Cool.

What is that, by the way?

- Dinner.

Are you hungry?

- That's okay, thank you.

- Cool.

- So yeah, l was gonna go out.

l got some stuff to do.

So,

l will leave you alone.

(slow quirky music)

- [Charlie] Bam.

Burrito time.

- [Bruce] Hey, we're back.

- [Charlie] Heyo, hey man.

You want a burrito?

- Eh, l'm good.

-Whose dog is this?

Your bird, l picked him up at the park today.

- Like to stay with us?

No.

Dude, we can't have a dog, man.

We literally, the rules, we can't have a dog.

- Charles, we were never gonna get

our security deposit back anyway.

Now we've got a dog.

- l don't want a dog.

(quirky music)

- [Hannah] Hey, Chuckie.

- [Matt] What's up, bro?

- Bicycle.

- Look who came to visit.

-Yeah.

Pfft.

(laughing)

- Oh hey man.

Where's the little, Eleanor?

- Oh, she's got a couple conferences.

Road trip.

- Man, l love you but it's kind of not a lot

of space in there right now.

-Yeah.

- The place is not really baby proof either.

lt's actually really, really unsafe for a child.

-You know,

studies showthat most men don't like their wives

and most wives don't like their babies.

Food for thought.

(plucky acoustic music)

- Thank you.

l'll trade ya.

Oops..

Alright.

- [Delivery Man] Thank you.

- [Charlie] Hey, honey.

- [Hannah] Hi.

- [Charlie] What is this?

- This

l believe

is

dishes.

- No, you have to put these away.

You can't let Bruce see it, just.

Just, whoa.

- [Hannah] l'll put 'em away in the kitchen.

- [Charlie] Just put 'em back in.

- [Hannah] Okay.

(plucky acoustic music)

- Dishes.

- lt wasn't,

it wasn't my--

- l'm gonna put them in the kitchen

and start to put them away.

Nope, l got it. -You got it?

Okay.

That just,

honey, don't show everybody the guns.

Um, here, let mejust, here, l got this.

Alright.

- lt's heavy, right?

lt's not just me.

- No.

- [Hannah] Alright.

- Go ahead.

- Can you unpack?

Oh.

- [Charlie] Are you serious?

- [Bruce] Woo.

- Hey.

l didn't ask last time, but why?

Why do you do that?

- lt freezes the bacteria so my clothes don't smell.

-You still have to wash them sometimes, man.

- [Bruce] Nonsense.

- That's awesome.

- Can you help me?

What are you doing?

Don't do that.

Don't do that.

- [Matt] Keep it open.

(plucky acoustic music)

- l'm just gonna unpack these.

(plucky acoustic music)

- [Hannah] Good night everyone.

(dog barking) (baby crying)

-Where are you going?

- l forgot something at the coffee shop.

(baby crying) (plucky acoustic music)

- Golfing with Bruce the First in the morning, you down?

- Hell yeah.

- Good, good.

- Hey, so you haven't said anything about my lady.

- l'm a minimalist, Charles, you know this.

- Right, but it's a pretty big deal

that l have a girl here.

-Yes, but l do not believe in marriage.

Only divorce.

- Right, but what does either thing

have to do with being a minimalist?

-You see it matters not how one comes to own

next to nothing, only that one gets there.

Hot Soup, Tyler Chen.

-And that's it.

Dude, but l married my best friend.

Like isn't that what people want to do with their lives?

-You did not marry your best friend.

lt's impossible that every married person

is married to their best friend.

Case in point, l am your best friend, not her.

Besides, have you looked at your bird's book collection?

She has all the Bukowskis man.

-All of 'em.

Yeah, l love that about her.

- Not a good thing.

You should know better than to get involved

with a girl who's too into Bukowski.

- Hey guys.

- Oh, hey.

- Hey, where's Barry?

- Built her a crib.

(baby babbling)

- Oh.

- Hey, um, Chuckie.

Wanna come talk to me in the bedroom for a second?

- Right now?.

Okay.

- Don't, don't. - Sorry.

- Don't. - l'm sorry.

- 'Cause we're in the middle.

- [Charlie] l know, but, sorry.

- [Hannah] Sorry, Bruce.

- [Charlie] Wife.

l have a wife.

(deep exhale)

Alright.

l see a bow.

- Mhm.

-What?

Oh wow

- l,

l know you're a little short on cash,

so l thought l could help you out.

You could also teach me how to play guitar.

l could pay you forthat.

l've always wanted to learn.

-You'd want to give me money to?

-Yeah.

What do you think?

-Well thank you, yeah.

No, it's, really thoughtful.

- Oh, one more.

There you go.

-You got it?

Oh, cool.

(strumming)

Thank you.

-You're welcome.

Hey.

(kissing)

l love you.

You don't have to say that right now.

l just, you know, say it when you feel it.

- Thank-- - Thank you's fine.

(chuckling)

-You know, sir, Hannah's the first girl l ever loved.

And now she's back in my life.

Which l think says something about her.

- Or not much but all the girls you've

gotten to know since.

- No, no, no, no we used to stand for something.

Nice shot.

We rebelled against the establishment.

-You know, you kids had to invent things to rebel against

'cause you had too much time on your hands.

-And the baton continues to be passed, gramps.

Kids today will never understand what we had to go through

just to watch porn.

- Ooo, the dark ages.

- My grandparents married because life was

too unbearable to go it alone.

This notion of love and marriage came from the Renaissance

back when artists had time and money to sit around

and jerk off and write songs and paint.

-Ah, history is so cool.

- [Grandpa] Yeah well you kids are fuckin' it up.

- [Bruce] Boom goes the dynamite.

- But, the marijuana has gotten better,

l'll give you kids that.

- Thank you. - Oh yeah.

Yep, you're welcome there, Bruce the First.

Do you have any?

Like right now?.

- [Grandpa] Am l holding?

No.

- That was really nice hanging out with Bruce the First,

thanks for the invite.

- BTF, love him.

-Yeah.

- How long ago did his wife pass?

- The first lady? -Yeah.

- Eight years.

- They were awesome together, huh?

- Oh, shit.

Man, they loved the crap out of each other.

She was pretty hot, too.

You know, for also being my grandma, yeah.

- That's your grandma you're speaking of.

- l know, objectively, though.

lt's been alright since she's been gone, but,

not quite the same.

- l don't know man, sometimes it seems nice

to have a little alone time, you know?

- l don't think when you're that old.

l don't know, we used to do a really good job

of growing old together.

l don't know what we're gonna do now.

-Well, you--

Oh shit, sweet.

Hannah?

Hannah? - ln here!

- Hey honey.

Oh man, l wish you wouldn't eat in the bed because

we might get roaches.

- Okay.

- How was your day?

- Good, l actually, l found out that one of my friends

from college lives here now, so l'm gonna

see hertomorrow.

-And somebody's all set up in LA now.

- [Hannah] Oh yeah.

- l got you something.

(gasping)

What?

Best husband in the world award.

l hope you like it.

- Oh, you're so nice.

- No, no, whatever.

- What did you get me?

-Yoga pants.

You always were lounging around in your sweat pants

so l figured these feel snugger

and a little cuter and, you know.

Yoga pants.

- Thanks.

(kissing)

- l love you.

(laughing)

lt's an amazing day, huh?

Great day.

- l cannot believe you're here.

How's David?

- We're not really.

- Got ya.

You can totally keep that towel set l got you.

- Thanks.

That's generous.

Um, yeah, l'm actually, l'm married to someone

l went to high school with.

l recently remarried.

- Oh, sweet..

You married someone your own age?

-Yeah, why?

- This is LA, it's just, that's unusual.

Just a little bit.

- lt's just really, really hard to keep up

unless you're married to someone who's at least

15 years older than you.

-Why?

- Because you look terrible in pictures.

- lt lasts forever.

-Well, you do know about the arm thing, though, right?

- [Hannah] What arm thing?

-Yeah, well the, the arm thing.

-Are you not doing that in photos?

- No, is that?

- lt's really easy to pick up.

- Thank you.

Ugh.

l didn't know l was doing it wrong.

- But we gotta work on those 11's.

- What's an 11?

- [Friend] That furrow.

- Oh, my forehead?

- No, don't!

Don't touch yourface.

- Oh my god, why am l not supposed to touch my face?

- Never too early to start on that neck.

- Never, never.

- So there's something wrong with my neck?

- No, just the same thing that's wrong

with everyone's neck.

- Well, you know, l'm just to the kind of girl

who does Botox.

- Why not?

- [Hannah] My husband would hate it.

- Oh.

l doubt that.

- No, really, he's,

he did get me yoga pants.

- Oh, exactly.

He's basically asking you to try harder.

-Wow.

- But honey.

Look, don't worry about it.

lf he can't handle you at your worst--

- [All] He doesn't deserve you at your best.

- l can't cheers to that.

l'm sorry, did you quote Marilyn Monroe?

-Yeah.

- Well, don't you think that's part of the problem?

Like, maybe if she, like, had a man who didn't

put up with her pill popping, she'd still be alive?

- No.

That's a rose colored glasses kind of a thought.

(chuckling)

- Honey, what happened?

What happened?

- l got Botox.

-You got Botox? -Yeah.

- Um.

- My face is ruined.

- No, it's not bad.

Ruined is a really strong word.

Youjust can't laugh.

Or smile.

But you haven't been much of that anyways, so.

Hey.

Hey, where's Barry?

Uh.

Were you guys smoking weed in here?

(laughing)

- [Hannah] Just a little bit.

-You guys.

You hot boxed the living room with a baby in it?

- No, no, no, l pulled her outside.

l'm sorry.

-Alright, cool, that's, that's what it takes

to make you smile.

That's great.

That's rich.

- [Hannah] l'm not laughing at you.

- lt's okay.

- lt was medicinal.

The Botox--

-Yeah, yeah, l got it.

Just gonna be in my room, alright?

(heavy breathing)

That's it.

(hitting)

We're gonna get really adult up in here.

Who's excited?

Me!

l am.

Okay?

Let me break this down.

There's currently four and a half people living here,

and the place is a fucking mess.

So, sweetheart.

Would you like

trash duty,

Sunday or Monday?

Hm?

Monday or Sunday?

- Chuckie, l'm your wife, l'm not room mate.

You can't put me on like some chores list.

- Seriously?

Because so far, l can't tell the difference.

(upbeat music)

Monday it is.

Congratulations.

You've got trash and dish duty on Mondays.

You my friend, are gonna check into a hotel.

Tonight.

And you're gonna stop smoking weed around your child,

do you understand me?

Ooo, and that.

That piece of richness right here.

Sorry, honey.

Sorry.

You're gonna find a new place for this

that isn't my living room, please.

-What, where?

- l don't know.

l haven't actually seen you use it, ever.

- The seat is broken.

- Fix it.

Alright, fix something.

Please.

-Where are you going?

- [Charlie] To the grocery store.

- For what?

- l don't know.

-Am l taking out the trash?

(slow music)

- Hey man. - 'Sup?

-What'd you do today?

- Honestly, l had a pretty big day.

Big.

Big day.

How about you?

-You know.

Bruce, where's the Hannah lady?

ls she around?

- She went to the coffee shop around the corner.

-Alright. -Yep.

You both have been secretly using their bathroom to shit,

you know, since she moved in.

Maybe next time don't get married until you're comfortable

enough with each other to share a toilet.

-Alright.

Where's Matt?

Did he leave?

- Got a hotel room.

Want some cereal?

- No, l'm good.

Got it.

Excuse me.

- That's really nice.

- Cereal?

- [Hannah] No thanks, Bruce.

(slow music)

- [Charlie] Hey.

- Hey buddy.

You can't sleep here.

No sleeping in the car.

- l live here.

- l don't care, move it on.

Go back home.

(slow music)

- Good ladies, now my warrior goddesses.

Let's get into our warrior pose.

Step our left foot out.

Get that good, strong arms going, great.

- Hi, Charlie.

- Oh hey, Adrienne.

Hi.

Looks good.

Do you wanna

you wanna hang out?

Not like that.

No, like, just normal people do.

Can we do that?

Just go somewhere?

-Are you scared to go home?

- No.

Um,

can wejust talk somewhere?

- [Bruce] Hey sorry, l just gotta go to the piss.

- Oh yeah.

Hey, Bruce?

You're a licensed minister, right?

- County wide.

- Can l tell you something that l can't

tell Charlie yet?

- l take my duties as a minister very seriously

and follow them to the letter of the law.

Please, what's on your mind, child?

- Okay.

So, the thing that Charlie doesn't know about me

is l used to be married.

- l'm pretty sure he's still gonna find you attractive.

Not as much.

But enough.

l gotta pee.

(slow music)

-What's the difference between like a wedding invitation,

and a phone bill?

-You said you wanna talk, Charlie, so out with it.

Out with it.

- Uh, what do l wanna talk about?

Um...

l'm just...

Can l use your bathroom?

- l really liked you.

- Bullshit.

Listen, Adrienne, when somebody's most attractive

quality to you is in that they just happen

to be unavailable, then you know you're a grown up.

You know?.

- Said the newlywed sitting in my kitchen.

- Touche.

l can leave.

- Bathroom's down the hall to the left.

-Which hall?

(chuckling)

(exhaling)

(phone ringing) (slow music)

Oh.

Hi, nothing.

No, l wasn't doing--

Shut up.

No, that's awesome.

Yeah.

Okay, thank you.

Hannah?

- [Hannah] Charlie?

- Hey.

- Hi, look.

- [Charlie] Oh wow.

- Right?

- [Charlie] Yeah, it's back.

- Remove it all.

- [Charlie] You look great.

- Thank you.

- Did you get the tickets?

-Yup.

- Oh yeah? - Mhm.

-And where is this venue, madam?

- San Diego.

(groaning) - Don't make that face.

Adventure.

(tape deck rattling)

(upbeat punk music)

(chattering)

- [Charlie] Yeah.

- 'Sup?

-What's up guys?

(muted punk music)

-Are you guys looking for your kid or something?

(muted punk music)

-When did music become just for young people?

- l don't know, l guess adults don't have

anything to rebel against.

- Bullshit.

This is the time where we should start rebelling.

l demand-- (hitting)

Oh, sorry.

- People change.

- No, they don't.

- Okay, well, when we were growing up,

the lead singer of the band Against Me!

was a boy and now she's named Laura Jane Grace.

That's three lady names, so.

- My point exactly.

She was always a girl, shejust finally

made the outside match the inside.

Boom.

Points for me. - Okay, you got me.

- l don't think people change.

l really don't.

l just think that they become more of

what they've always been.

You were always cute.

Acutie patootie.

l do miss your pink highlights, though.

Oh, and that time you shaved your head.

(chuckling)

l got an idea.

-What?

- [Charlie] Just you wait.

(humming)

Okay.

(slow acoustic music)

- Oh, l love this song.

-Would you join me, for a little shakey me shaka?

-Why yes, sir.

? Humming to himself as he is

? Thinking of his latest debts

? Juggling some numbered thoughts

? Wondering what might come next

? He swears he won't ever stop

? Unless he wants what he surely does not

? Oh, Jim, John, Jackie and Suzy Q

? They mind their manners but so do you

? While we breathe all of these words that make no sense

? Working in an upscale place

? She is thinking of her son's demise

? On his epitaph a doctor's bill

? She puts off for anothertime

? And swears she won't ever stop

? Unless she wants what she surely does not

? Oh, Jim, John, Jackie and Suzy Q

? They mind their manners but so do you

? While we breathe all of these words that make no sense

? Not gonna see till my singing does me wrong

? Not gonna hear till the fires have burned on

? Not gonna know

? Not gonna know

? Not gonna knowtill the feeling does me wrong

(upbeat music)

- Let me just, here.

Just go here.

Ow, what are you doing?

- Oh, sorry, sorry.

- Ow, what are you doing?

My shoulder.

- l was just trying to get in--

Do you wannajust go upstairs?

- Like, alright, yeah, let's do it.

Um, can you?

Can you get the door?

Oh hell yeah.

- [Bruce] No.

Hey.

- [Charlie] Good evening.

- [Woman] Hi.

- Uh, Gabriela, that's Charles and Hannah.

Charlie, Hannah, that's Gabriela.

- [Charlie] Hi.

- Sorry dude, she's couch surfing and l live on a couch,

so you knowthis is-

- [Charlie] How's your day going to far, guys?

Oh, l'm sorry, am l in your personal space?

l'm sorry?

- Uh, the only bathroom's back here.

Oh boy, hold it, hold it.

- [Charlie] Yeah, we'll just start it without you guys.

lt's okay.

(laughing)

- [Bruce] What's gotten into you two?

lt's weird.

- [Charlie] We'rejust happy.

-We're just happy.

- [Bruce] Alright.

Alright.

- Out with you.

- [Gabriela] To my couch.

- [Charlie] Out with both of you.

- [Bruce] Yeah, let's go.

- Bye, guys.

- Hang on, l gotta go to the bathroom.

- Oh yeah.

Fuck, l need this.

- [Hannah] Um, Charlie?

- Fuck.

(deep breath)

(slow music)

- Sir!

(slow music)

Just get the multi pack.

- Oh, shit.

Dude, l am--

- Hey, happens all the time.

(upbeat music) (laughing)

- Hannah?

(blowing airthrough lips)

No milk action.

(slow plucky music)

Ah, shit.

- Don't worry, l think if you cook, she has to clean.

- Oh yeah.

Ow, ow, ow, okay.

l fail to see howthis is supposed to be a casserole.

- Oh, you know what?

We did not add the pasta shells.

But,

ah, l don't really have a way to finish that sentence.

- Hey.

- Hey.

What,

what's with the hair?

- l dyed it.

-Yeah, l can see that.

lt's cool.

-You don't like it?

- l didn't say that.

No, it's cool.

lt's very pink.

lt's nice.

-You were the one who told me that you loved

my pink hair.

- Because l did.

l do.

l like it.

-What happened to the Chuckie who used to like,

tell me l was beautiful and

write songs for me?

- Well what did you expect was gonna happen?

We werejust gonna make out in the rain all day

and listen to some Damien Rice?

-Well yeah, kinda, didn't you?

-Yeah, kinda.

- [Hannah] What are you making?

- l made you some dinner.

Ah.

Ah?

- That's nice.

-You like it?

Sit down, now please.

This is an ltalian restaurant.

Or some sort of a generic accent.

- Enjoy.

- Thank you, Bruce.

(whistling)

- Coming in hot.

Alright, let me get you some cutlery.

For my lovely lady.

- Thank you.

Beautiful.

- [Charlie] Let me get myself a knife.

- [Hannah] This is great, babe.

- Um, how about a little vino?

- Uh, sure.

- [Charlie] Great.

- Mm, yeah, totally edible.

- lt's good?

- [Hannah] Good.

- Oh sweet.

l got you the second cheapest wine because it's

splurging on my lady, you know?.

Do you like cabernet?

l think this is cabernet.

- Charlie?

Are there tomatoes in this?

-Yeah, l just put a little bit forthe flavor.

Oh shit!

Shit!

Um, okay.

Come here.

Lay down and breathe.

Don't panic, don't panic!

- Epinephrine.

- [Charlie] Where?

Where?

- ln my purse.

- Okay, okay, purse.

l got it.

Alright, it's gonna hurt, okay?

l'm gonna save you.

- Stop!

lt's not Pulp Fiction.

- [Charlie] l'm so sorry, l'm so sorry.

Are you okay?

l'm so sorry.

Okay, yeah, l'll get off.

Oh god, honey.

- [Hannah] You know, Charlie.

- [Charlie] Yeah?

- [Hannah] l don't ask much.

l just ask

that you don't try to kill me.

- l didn't try to kill you it's was in the recipe

and l saw it and l should've known better and...

- l'm going.

-Are you going to the coffee shop?

- [Hannah] No.

- Hannah, l'm sorry.

Fuck.

- [Bruce] Oy.

How'd it go?

-Yeah, l don't wanna talk about it.

- Fuck.

-Yeah, l know.

- Guys.

So, here's the thing.

Eleanor is on her way here from the airport right now.

- Perfect, she'll be just in time for leftovers.

-Why are we suddenly scared of Eleanor?

- Here's the thing.

- l kind of lied.

She didn't go to any meetings.

She kind of freaked out on me and she needed some space.

- [Charlie] Whoa, okay.

- Oh dear god.

We gotta clean this place up 'cause she cannot

see that we live in squalor.

- Oh hey.

- Let's not throw around the S-word.

- lt's like a storage unit inside here.

lf we can just sort of clean some of it up?

Come on guys.

Help.

- l'll smoke this bong.

(knocking)

l'll get it.

- Hey.

This was outside.

- Oh, perfect.

- Oh my god.

Oh my darling.

Oh, l missed you so much.

-What about me?

-Yeah.

- Hi.

lt's me, Charlie.

- Uh, this is,

a nice place.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- [Charlie] Good night guys.

- [Matt] Good night.

(birds chirping)

- Hey.

(dog panting)

Who's that really good looking dude

talking to Hannah out there?

- Oh that's her ex-husband.

- Her what?

- Oh, um, it's her ex-husband.

- Um.

(slow music)

- Sorry.

-Why wouldn't you tell me this?

- l don't know.

- Does he have to be so good looking?

What does he do?

He's a...

- [Hannah] He's a doctor.

- He's a doctor, yeah.

Of course he is.

Oh god.

(slow music)

- Look, the way you live your life is just

not an option for most people.

-And why is that, Hannah?

- l don't know, l tried.

Hey, l really, really tried, okay?

(slow music)

? Fuck the world l'm hanging out with you tonight

- Oh, l'm sorry.

- No, actually.

Come in.

-Just chill in the bathroom?

- Just, l wanna talk for a second.

What are you doing here, man?

- She called me up.

Said she needed some help.

-Yeah, when?

-Yesterday.

She said there was something about you wanted to kill her?

l get it, l don't even need to know the details.

l don't even wanna knowthe details, but.

- So what happened?

- She called me up, she said she needed--

- No, just, like before.

Like you and her, what happened?

- l don't even know.

Maybe l spent too much time thinking about what she needed.

None of what she wanted.

-And what do you think she wants?

- l think she just wants a partner in crime.

l mean, literally.

- Literally.

- Um, can l?

- Oh yeah.

Just go.

Thank you.

Let's not touch. -Yeah, let's not.

Let's not touch. -Yeah, let's not.

- So have you met any cool people here?

- Not really.

Although l've never been good at making friends as an adult.

Also, all the women wanna talk about here is like

yoga and genetically modified foods.

-Well where l live, it's their babies.

And yoga.

l mean, people are all the same,

it's just what nouns they fill in on their Mad Libs.

- The baby's asleep.

- Thanks, Bruce.

Wannajoin us?

- l'm good.

- So how is your marriage?

- lt's a marriage.

They're all kind of the same, right?

- Hm.

You know, it took years for us to conceive?

But ever since l've been terrified that

it'll never be as good as it was before.

And everyone is always so focused on getting what they want.

Or they get what they want and they don't want it anymore.

- lt's all about the fantasy staying a fantasy.

-Yeah.

(slow music)

-You're gonna drive?

- Well, it's a fluid situation.

-Yeah, that's true.

-What's going on guys?

-About to take these guys to the airport.

Ready?

-Yeah, l think so.

- There she is.

- [Matt] Hey.

- [Eleanor] Hey, bye.

- [Charlie] Take care.

- [Eleanor] Take care.

- [Charlie] Beautiful baby.

-You got that?

Alright, bro.

Love you, bro.

-Ay!

- Bye guys, travel safe.

(kissing)

- l like you hair like this.

- No talking.

(kissing)

-Are you coming home with me?

- l don't know, maybe.

Maybe l wanna go to lndia and like find myself

or something.

- l think that's a great idea.

l would love to come with you.

Or not.

And you can go by yourself.

Either way, l'll pay for it.

Have you heard of The Alchemist?

- No.

Tell me.

- Hey man.

What?

(slow music)

- Get this shit away from me.

- Mr. First.

- Hey, it's Bruce the First, okay?

Hey, grandpa, how are you feelin'?

(fork breaking)

- God hates my guts.

But enough about me, how are you boys holding up?

- Charlie's wife left him.

-Yeah, we don't know if she--

- l mean, she literally left.

- ls that right?

-Yeah.

-You know boys, l married my best friend.

She was beautiful,

so that certainly helped.

- Hannah was my best friend.

We used to stay after school and tell our parents

we were watching football but neither of us

cared much about sports.

We'd just take the bus downtown and listen

to some punk bands all the time.

- Charlie.

Don't waste your years when your legs still work,

on living in the past.

l was so lucky.

l made my own luck, though, you know.

But they call it that just the same.

(slow music)

(slow music)

- Can l help you, sir?

-Yes, hi.

These are some actual plates and cutlery and other

kitchen bullshits, so, please use them around here

and thank you.

Especially forthe gentleman in room 422.

Let's class this place up a little bit, okay?

There are grown ups here.

- Sir, these are very short term stays.

422's just gonna be here until we find him a bed

in a nice home somewhere.

-422 is a person.

He has a name.

lt's Bruce the First.

Let's treat him like one.

- Hey honey, can you grab my medical kit?

Hannah?

(showering running)

-What's up, Benny?

Hey, girl.

Come on.

(deep exhaling)

(upbeat punk rock music)

(heavy breathing)

(upbeat punk rock music)

- Hey!

- Hey.

- Bruce moved in with Bruce the First.

He's gonna be his caretaker.

- Doesn't he need like a medical license for that?

- Oh no.

Oh, he got a certificate online.

(deep exhaling)

What do you wanna do about this thing?

- l'm gonna fix it.

The tool thing is in the--

- The bathroom.

You're really gonna fi--

Okay.

Alright, let me watch this.

You're gonna fix a bike?

-Yes, l'm going to fix the damn bike.

- Do you need a hand? - No.

You are going to see me ride this bike.

- l got this.

- [Hannah] Oh my god, yeah.

(laughing)

-What're you gonna do now, Hannah?

- l don't know. (chuckling)

l mean l have,

well l've got nojob,

l've got

no apartment.

l don't think l have a husband.

You know what l heard through the grape vine?

- [Charlie] Tell me.

- l heard this little tid bit somewhere,

can't remember where.

Where, Stan Lee, you knowthat guy?

l think he didn't have success until he was like 39 or40.

-What?

(blubbering)

Whoa.

Wow.

Well,

while you figure all this out, l happen to have

a very big apartment.

(slow acoustic music)

? So tell me dear where is it you go from you

? As you curse and peel and pose in tears

? Against the wall and across the hall

? Across the wards as we both dissolve

? l have this habit of punishing things

? That move so fast they grow out wings

? And sneak through houses as we barterfor sleep

Hi.

- Hi.

- [Charlie] Come with me.

-What, what?

- [Charlie] Just come with me.

l wanna show you something.

- [Hannah] Okay.

? And l wish l had you in my lungs

? l'd blow you and block the sun

? And save everyone from the brilliant light we've won

Where are we going?

? And our bodies got so much clearer

? With dirty blood and 30 last calls

? So fill it up, spin forever down the walls

? l throw it upjust to watch it fall

Are we allowed to be here?

- No.

Come on!

(slow acoustic music)

Come on!

(slow acoustic music)

(screaming)

- [Hannah] lt's cold!

- l fuckin' told you!

(cop car beeping)

(slow acoustic music)

? Do you know what l think about you

? Do you know what l feel is true

? Do you know what l think about her

? l know she thinks about me, l'm sure

? l don't know why it's so, but it's true

? l don't know why it's so, but it's true

? So you know what l think about you

? Do you know what you want me to do

? When you see me staring at you

? Do you know what l want you to do

? l don't know why it's so, but it's true

? l don't know why it's so, but it's true

? l don't know why it's so, but it's true

? l don't know why it's so, but it's true

? l don't want to have sex with you

? l want to be yourfriend

? l want to be with you

? l want you to marry me

? So you know what l think about you

? Do you knowthat my speed is you

? l know l want you to be my wife

? lt's you and me for the rest of your life

? Do you know

? Do you know

? Do you know

? Do you know

? Do you know what l think about you

- [Man] Yeah, we're still rolling.

Let's do it once more.

? Do you know what l think about you

? Do you know what l feel is true

? Do you know what l think about her

? She thinks about me, l'm sure

? l don't know why it's so, but it's true

? l don't know why it's so, but it's true

? So you know what l think about you

? Do you know what you want me to do

? When you see me staring at you

? Do you know what l want you to do

? l don't know why it's so, but it's true

? l don't know why it's so, but it's true

? l don't know why it's so, but it's true

? l don't know why it's so, but it's true

? l don't want to have sex with you

? l want to be yourfriend

? l want to be with you

? l want you to marry me

? So you know what l think about you

? Do you know what you want me to do

? l know l want you to be my wife

? lt's you and me for the rest of your life

? Do you know what l think about you

? Do you know what l think about you

(cheering)

(upbeat punk rock music)

? Nice to see ya, it's been a while

? What took you so long to come around

? Hearts are broken every day

? ls that what's brought ya back my way

? Don't want to hear you're sorry

? Brand new old love

? Brand new old love, any day

? Brand new old love