Original subtitles

Our story began at the Yaksah Mountain

A Fairy Enchantress stirred up trouble.

A wizard appeared in time. . .

and put a stop to it.

But the Enchantress was wild.

She was a crazed romantic.

Then the Wizard pulled out her sword,

and subdued the monster.

It was a turbulent time.

The Enchantress didn't give up.

Emperor Qi didn't know better,

and freed the monster one night.

Hence setting off a love triangle.

Emperor Qi goes on a hunting trip.

He's a lousy archer,

and a poor horseman.

Because of his poor leadership,

the army is lost in the forest.

The emperor's life is in peril!

Quit cursing me!

Any more nonsense and I'll behead you!

Don't, Your Majesty!

Only dictators kill off his loyal subjects!

- Go away! - Please, Your Majesty...

We're almost home.

We're going in circles.

We're lost.

Whose idea was this?

Your Majesty shouldn't play with crickets everyday.

Where are we now?

Why is there a sword here?

Maybe you shouldn't touch it.

Why can't I?

- Go ahead then. - You said it.

Stop!

How dare you wander into the Yaksah Mountain?

Ghosts!

- Protect His Majesty! - Yes!

I can't see...

I'm going blind!

Don't pull it!

Why?

Let go!

See what you did?

You helped me!

You freed the Fairy Enchantress!

There's no such a thing!

What about the fog?

Natural phenomenon.

So what if I freed the monster?

She'll transform into a human and cause trouble.

What's the big deal?

I don't know. That's how the legend goes.

Also, whoever frees the monster shall be killed.

I didn't do it alone. You helped me!

Prime Minister! General!

Why stop me?

You can't kill him.

That's Emperor Qi, your predestined husband.

He's Emperor Qi?

Yes, I overheard it during the fight.

Your Majesty. . .

Who's that scary-looking girl?

She is Wu Yen,

the bandit leader of the Yaksah Mountain!

She studied literature and martial arts,

and excels in military strategy.

She's also a great hostess.

Too bad she's ugly.

She has nice features,

But what's with the colors?

What a shame.

You can wipe the colors off, Your Majesty!

I touched her by accident.

They're just paint!

Your Majesty.

I want to make her my wife.

Aren't you rushing it?

I've made up my mind.

The emperor waits outside!

Why visit me at such late hours?

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

I'll get to the point.

I want you to be my wife.

Whatever you want, just say it.

You're straightforward.

I'll be frank as well.

I'm destined to marry you.

If you're indeed Emperor Qi,

I'll marry you right away.

- That easy? - Are you really Emperor Qi?

Of course.

I can take you to the palace,

and show you the imperial seal.

No need.

Before my master died, he told me to ask you 3 questions.

If your answers correspond to what's in the bag,

then you're my husband.

I'm well versed in literature.

- Ask away. - Okay

What are the three bonds?

Three bonds. . .

That's easy.

- What is it? - King & vassals.

Which King?

No, you and me...

No hints!

I studied this when I was a kid.

It's on the tip of my tongue...

It's. . .

What?

I don't know.

Don't know?

It's okay. There are two more.

What are the five constant virtues?

I know this one... Five constant virtues...

No hints!

I don't need your hints!

I'll teach you guys, the answer is. . .

What?

I forfeit.

Forfeit?

Here's the last one, don't blow it.

Hope it's an easy one.

What are the six arts?

What?

Still don't know?

Give me another chance, sis.

Why didn't you study?

You blew a great marriage!

Chief. Wait...

He got them!

Wu Yen, the answers Emperor Qi gives are:

I don't know, forfeit ,

and give me another chance, sis.

That's because he's an ignorant,

and unlearned emperor.

I got the answers!

I am ignorant and unlearned!

Good thing I didn't listen to you guys.

You almost cost me the marriage.

Morons!

- Thank God. - Your Majesty is blessed...

Laziness is what did it.

I cut school when I was 5,

skipped martial arts training at 8,

and missed military practice at 1 0.

I read the Four Books when I was 5,

learned martial arts of every sect at 8,

and led an army to battle at 1 0.

It turned out everything I learned,

was to make up for what you don't have.

The master's prediction came true.

Let's get married then.

Wait, I have another question.

Another?

What is it?

You must give me an answer.

All right. . .

Why would you marry an ugly girl like me?

Virtue is what counts.

Appearance is superficial.

I appreciate inner beauty.

I find your words comforting.

Tell you the truth, I'm actually a beauty.

Don't kid me, I won't mind.

I'm not kidding.

I'm not lying. I'm quite beautiful!

Really? All the better!

You don't believe me?

Wipe the paint off for me.

Sure.

Am I good-looking?

There's no doubt.

What?

- What is it? - Is it contagious?

What's wrong with my face?

Quit trying.

You can't wipe off my love spell.

Not unless you marry me.

Who are you?

I'm the Fairy Enchantress.

You and the emperor saved me.

I have feelings for you two.

But I like you more, sweetheart.

What do you say?

That's absurd!

You made me ugly, and ruined my marriage.

If you don't like me, I have another choice.

I'll turn into a woman and seduce the emperor.

I can be anything I want.

Think carefully.

Leave my husband alone!

Your Majesty.

You left without saying goodbye.

Isn't that rude?

You marry that ugly girl if you want.

Virtue is what matters.

Someone this good is hard to come by.

An ignorant girl is desirable.

A sexy one is even better.

Help!

- Someone's calling for help. - Help!

Mind our own business.

Your Majesty,

A real man would lend a helping hand.

A woman stranded here alone at night?

Has to be a monster.

Help...

A sexy voice. Doesn't hurt to look.

She's hot.

Miss, are you okay?

I got lost.

I was so afraid.

Then an ugly girl showed up,

and said that I'm a Fairy Enchantress.

She came after me with a sword.

I fell down trying to get away,

and sprained my foot.

I think I'll perish here.

No you won't...

How can a real man not lend a helping hand?

I'm coming down!

Not so fast, mister.

Why?

I just made a vow.

Whoever rescues me tonight,

I will marry.

If you don't want that, maybe you should leave,

and let me perish here.

I can't do that.

That easy?

Something's wrong.

It's spooky.

Superstitious!

I'm not someone that asks for rewards,

or takes advantage of people.

After giving very careful consideration,

I've decided to help you.

Are you the emperor?

You don't despise me?

Aren't you rushing it, Your Majesty?

I've made up my mind.

Are you all right?

It still hurts a little.

She's a monster, Your Majesty!

- It's that ugly girl! - Stop!

She's not human.

- Fairy Enchantress, right? - Yes!

The mole. She did this to me.

Look carefully, she's really a man.

She turned into a woman to seduce you.

That's absurd. . .

Our country abides to scientific principles.

Who'll believe in your nonsense?

Don't waste time with this ugly girl.

Let's go back and get married.

Let go of my husband!

Heavy fog!

How odd.

Came out of nowhere

What are you looking for, Your Majesty?

My sweetheart disappeared.

Sweetheart!

Sweetheart. . .

You can't beat me, sweetheart.

Marry me.

Die!

Think you can become the empress?

Come to the palace if you have what it takes.

- Your Majesty. . . - Come. . .

- Don't, Your Majesty. . . - Go away!

- No, Your Majesty. . . - Leave me alone!

No, Your Majesty. . .

Monster!

Sex before marriage is against tradition.

Old fashioned!

Your Majesty should rest after a long journey.

Imbeciles!

Your Majesty should pay respect to ancestors.

Superstitious!

This marriage is improper...

Where's sweetheart?

She disappeared again.

Monster, trying to seduce my descendant?

Who are you?

Listen carefully.

I'm Emperor Qi's great. . . grandfather,

the country's founding father, Ancestor Huan.

It's great. . . grandfather-in-law.

Shut up!

You're not fit to be my daughter-in-law.

Monster!

Stop calling me that.

I call you great. . . grandfather-in-law

out of respect,

kiddo!

How dare you!

Prepare to die!

The Ying Yang Trap!

The Spirit-Vanquishing Lock!

The Valiant Sword!

Attack!

It failed!

You're just a trainee fairy.

Scared me.

Practice some more, kiddo.

Monster. . . I can't see. . .

I'm doomed. . .

Don't go!

Sweetheart!

Sweet. . .

What are you doing here?

Come...

This is new to me.

What's there to be afraid of?

It's not like I'll eat you.

Come... Hurry. . .

Don't mess with my descendant!

Help!

The Guardians. . .

Help!

Little Huan.

What happened to you?

A Fairy Enchantress seduced Emperor Qi.

How dare her cause trouble on my turf!

She's asking for it.

Wait. . .

Let me see.

We're in trouble.

The Enchantress has 3000 years of practice.

We're no match for her.

It's useless.

So my country is doomed?

Not so.

An ugly girl will rise to the occasion,

and save the country.

A savior?

Stomachache?

Ate something bad.

Go then, I'll wait here.

But I have a job to do.

Then. . . we'll fight slower.

Thank you!

1 1 , 1 2, 1 3. . .

The General rarely fought this long.

A new record!

This girl is nice, write that down.

Too bad she's stubborn.

If the emperor could marry her...

What's all the noise in the middle of the night?

Can I have some privacy?

It's you again, ugly!

Told you not to bother me again.

What do you want?

I want to be the empress!

Think of something else!

I want to be the empress!

Give her 1 million gold and get rid her.

The night is still young.

Whatever you say.

Give her 1 million gold.

I want to be the empress!

You just don't give up...

Give her a mountain then.

I can't wait any longer.

I can't wait. . .

Give her a mountain. . .

I want to be the empress!

Is that all you can say?

Think I'll listen to you?

You promised!

That's a lie.

You said it.

I heard you with my own ears. . .

Fine...

Whatever I said before,

I take it back.

That's wrong, Your Majesty.

An emperor should always keep his words. . .

Go away!

Emperor Qi acts contrary to his words. . .

Stop writing!

He's cold hearted, would dump girls in an instant. Your Majesty!

Sweetheart. . .

I want to be the empress too!

You begged me to be the empress...

when we were doing it.

You promised...

Whatever makes you happy.

Both girls shall be the empresses.

One takes the East Palace, the other the West Palace.

I want the East.

I want the East!

Stop arguing.

Let's settle this the traditional way.

Whoever brings the ball to the emperor,

will take the East Palace.

Foul! Foul!

Don't boo her.

Stop your cheer!

Foul! Foul!

Intentional Foul!

Your majesty!

- Good. . . - Run! Come on!

What are you doing?

Taking the necessary action.

It's not right.

I'm doing you a favor.

This ugly girl will go on hassling Your Majesty.

Think about it.

Don't, Your Majesty!

More!

Isn't this too harsh?

Your Majesty committed murder!

One shouldn't beat a person when he's already down.

Why can't I?

She broke into the palace.

Emperor Qi is ruthless.

- He's inhuman. - Stop Writing!

Quiet!

Go find help!

Hurry. . .

Sweetheart. . .

Monster!

Marry me, I'll get you out!

Never!

You will die here!

I promise you,

I'll love you whole-heartedly no matter what happens.

Marry me!

Never!

If you die, the emperor and I will be together.

Marry me!

Never!

Where are you? Don't scare me.

Won't you give up?

Why are you this stubborn?

I'll perform CPR on you.

Get away from me!

Sweetheart. . .

Oh no!

Why is she dead, not the other?

Murder in the palace.

The girls fought for the emperor's affection.

Death in the Imperial Garden!

Behead her!

Wait!

Your Majesty attempted murder first.

Please be lenient!

Imprison her, life sentence!

Is she that special?

Think I'll fall for you, ugly?

You have nothing on us attractive people.

Damn Enchantress!

I heard you. Miss me?

You're alive!

I have eternal life.

Layman's kung-fu can't kill me.

Make me pretty again!

Just marry me!

Die!

Don't like the playboy type?

How about the mature type?

The teen idol type?

You can't kill me...

Listen...

Calm down...

Fine...

I'm off! You're too stubborn.

What's wrong with you?

Don't think I won't attack because you look old.

Who are you?

I'm your great... grandfather-in-law.

You're my great. . . granddaughter-in-law.

Great... granddaughter-in-law?

Doesn't go that far back.

Just 5 generations.

I'm Emperor Qi's ancestor,

the country's founding father, Ancestor Huan.

Are you a ghost?

I'm a fairy.

You know magic?

Anything is within my power.

Do something about the Fairy Enchantress.

She seduced Emperor Qi.

I'm working on it.

That's why I came to you.

Me?

My friends told me,

An ugly girl will save my country...

Sorry...

It's okay. . .

You can make me pretty again.

I don't think so.

Aren't you a fairy?

I'm still a trainee.

Try it. How else can I stop the monster?

Let me check the spell book.

Hurry.

Here we go.

Am I pretty?

Not yet... Wait.

Did it work?

Sorry...One more time.

So?

Still doesn't work.

I'll go find my friends.

They have more practice.

What did you turn me into?

I got it.

Wu Yen's cursed with the love spell.

When she's in love, she becomes ugly.

She has feelings for the emperor,

that's why the mole appears.

To break the spell,

she has to leave the emperor,

to never love him again.

But we need her to save the country.

Lie to her.

That's not right.

You have better ideas?

So?

You're cursed with the love spell.

When you're in love, you become ugly.

You love the emperor.

that's why the mole is there.

To break the spell,

You'll have to...

Say it.

You'll have to...

What?

Love the emperor whole-heartedly,

and make him love you the same way.

Then all trouble will go away.

I knew it.

What a lie. . .

What's wrong?

Nothing. . .

Sometimes I feel the emperor is not worth it.

He has no conscience.

He threw rocks into the well,

and imprisoned me for no reason.

He can't tell right from wrong,

and indulges himself with women.

Sometimes I wish he were dead!

Don't think like that...

That's not how the emperor is.

He's cursed by the Enchantress.

The truth is,

The emperor loves his family,

and treats his friends with loyalty.

He'll do anything for them.

He's also a devoted lover.

A true romantic!

He's that good?

Yes. . .

How do I make him love me?

Look at the way I am.

What a bunch of lies. . .

Damn...

I got it!

I'll help the emperor!

I'll give everything I have,

and do my best unconditionally.

Is that it?

Absolutely!

Sweetheart. . .

Your death took away my happiness.

This never-ending sorrow,

will always remain inside me.

To commemorate your existence,

I've decided never to marry anyone!

Your Majesty.

Quiet!

Give her a proper burial.

What's her name?

Don't know, forgot to ask her.

Who is it?

Come out at once!

Who could be here this late?

Come out at once!

Forgive me, Your Majesty.

I'm a new servant in the palace.

You look like my sweetheart.

Why were you crying?

I was moved.

Your Majesty had so much affection for the girl.

I envy her.

You gave her something special.

Do you want it?

Yes.

You know what something special is?

Yes.

Let's go try that!

How about the funeral?

Forget it.

She's dead, what's the use?

What's your name?

Yinchun.

Great name!

Can anyone be more desperate?

Come on.

It's nice to see the emperor cheered up.

Hurry. . .

Anything to report to me?

An envoy from Yen wishes to see Your Majesty.

The emperor offers a tangerine tree.

He wishes your country a prosperous year.

Interesting...

His Majesty is too kind.

I'll give 1 00 thousand gold in return.

Your Majesty should think again.

That's an embarrassing number.

1 million gold is more like it.

That pot of junk is worthless!

Knucklehead!

Your Majesty.

This plant is the latest agricultural miracle.

It grows on a banana tree,

but tastes like durian.

You serious?

Try it.

Let's try it.

How does it taste?

Don't forget this is a gift from our emperor.

Wonderful!

Amazing!

Why don't you try it?

I hate durian.

It tastes just like bananas.

Right, Your Majesty?

Yes, I want more.

What durian?

It tastes awful, knucklehead!

Are you saying that I'm lying?

The emperor will get upset.

No...

I'll give you 1 million gold.

Your Majesty is most generous!

We'll also offer you the Heaven Sword.

Give us two cities in return.

You knucklehead!

rusty sword is worthless!

How dare you!

Stop calling me knucklehead!

You're upset? Knucklehead. . .

Sweetheart. . .

I can see the sword is special.

But we have plenty of those here.

Every guard carries one. . .

Let me!

Ouch!

I'm falling. . .

It broke!

You all right?

Which foot?

Your Majesty must accept the gift now.

Don't let him have it.

Bullies like him. . .

should be stopped at all costs.

We may not have a big army.

But we should fight even if it means national doom.

National doom?

Besides the two cities,

I demand two slaps.

What?

I want to slap this girl silly!

Your Majesty!

That's too much!

Whatever you do,

don't insult my woman!

Think you can stop me?

You don't have any master swordsmen.

Master swordsmen?

I'll find someone to fight that croissant-head!

Croissant-head?

You?

My loyal subjects.

Open up!

I've decided to pardon you.

Here's a chance for you to repent.

You're free if you beat the Yen swordsman.

You need me?

Aren't you going to thank me?

You need me?

Stay here if you want.

Lock the door for me.

Wait!

I'm cutting you a break.

It's not like I need you.

I'm just being kind.

Here's your second chance.

You need me?

Stop acting like that.

I can behead you anytime!

You need me?

Fine. . . I need you.

I've always been unfortunate.

Got ripped off every year.

Giving away land is nothing.

What matters is I lost face.

I'm an emperor. A real man!

Help me.

We must teach them a lesson! Yes!

Wait. . .

I'm just a layman.

They won't respect me.

This is a critical time.

You should stand up for your country.

But geographically speaking,

I live closer to Yen.

A true warrior always helps the poor.

I'm just a bandit.

That's not who I am.

I'll make you an official.

I could care less.

What do you want?

You know.

Marry her.

Make her the empress.

The East Palace Empress!

Fine...

I'll marry you if you win.

You'll be the new empress.

Do you mean it?

A promise is a promise.

You'll be my witness.

Sure!

I already wrote it down.

Make sure you add only if she wins.

Don't worry.

I'll definitely win.

Are you the croissant-head?

Who are you?

I'm the East Palace Empress,

Wu Yen!

You're not the empress yet.

Don't get excited.

Okay?

Fine, you fight him then.

Why not?

Stop arguing...

Sweetheart. . .

Behave...

I heard you brought something precious.

What is it?

Heaven Sword!

2 feet long, 4 inches wide.

It's made out of special bronze.

Will cut through anything.

A perfect companion to take to battles.

That's it?

Wait here.

Flying Broom!

5 feet long, 5 inches wide.

The broom's head is 1 foot long, 1 inch wide.

It's made out of rotten wood.

Perfect for sweeping up garbage

like you.

How dare you!

Think I'm scared?

Let's fight.

Sure.

Why am I sitting here?

Move!

Didn't expect you to be this good.

Told you so.

This is a gift for your emperor.

Thinks. . .

Give us two cities in return.

You don't want to?

No...

A gift for the emperor. Two cities.

A gift for the emperor. Two cities!

This is great!

We won back everything we lost.

Tell your emperor,

you can't bully us around.

I'll crush you with one finger.

Go home!

Go! Go...

Wait, knucklehead!

You may go now.

How dare you to insult Yen.

See you in battle in 3 days.

What did he say?

I probably slapped him too hard.

See you in battle!

My loyal subjects. . .

What should we do?

- Don't go. - We're doomed...

What's wrong with you?

You evil thing!

You got us into trouble.

I just slapped him a few times.

You knocked the guy out!

I knocked out the swordsman.

But you slapped the envoy.

The envoy stands for the emperor.

Insulting him is like insulting the emperor.

Your Majesty!

I didn't know...

I'm just a girl.

I don't blame you.

Your Majesty can't be lenient!

She should be beheaded!

I'm only 1 6.

I don't want to die this young.

You won't have to. . .

Emperor Qi is seduced by Yinchun.

His poor judgement disappoints everyone.

The country faces its impending doom.

I learned new tricks to serve you.

I'll show you.

Let's go!

Yinchun should still be punished.

Lock her up!

I hate you, Your Majesty!

Sweetheart. . .

Imbecile!

General, we'll lead the army!

Understood!

This is a crucial battle.

"I hold Heaven Sword in my hand."

"Lives perish in the battlefield."

"But I'll fight my way out."

"Then peace shall take hold."

"The enemy is fierce."

"We pray for unity in our homeland."

"Qi is invincible when people come together."

"We'll put up a tough defense."

"The emperor's heart is with someone else."

"I'll put my affection aside for now."

"First I'll win the war."

"Then I'll put on my wedding gown."

"When the bloodshed is over,"

"I'll finally fulfill my destiny."

"Let's see how the story unfolds..."

Prime Minister.

We should worship the deities,

to pray for their protection against the invasion.

Yes, Your Majesty.

I hereby take an oath.

I'll be a diligent and loving emperor.

I hope the deities can give me a chance,

and bring my people a miracle.

A letter from Yinchun.

How dare her

to write to me!

Forget it!

A letter from Wu Yen.

How sweet...

She wrote from the front line,

reminding me to put on an extra blanket.

What more can I ask for?

"Wu Yen goes to battle for the emperor."

"Will her devotion go in vain?"

"Winter frost can be punishing,"

"Where's His Majesty?"

I have to work harder for her sake.

Wake up!

We have more to go over.

- Wake up! - Another letter from Yinchun.

Forget it!

Get up!

I should write to Wu Yen.

Dear Wu Yen...

"A letter from the emperor means everything."

"Every word brings Wu Yen comfort."

"The war doesn't diminish her love."

"But winning his heart is the toughest battle."

Your Majesty. . .

Wake up!

You have papers to approve.

You have books to read.

Leave me alone.

Scout report.

Did Wu Yen win another battle?

Your Majesty,

Yen surrendered and retreated its army.

It's over?

Yes.

We should celebrate.

How about a big party?

Your Majesty.

You should pay respect to the deities.

Later.

You should continue studying.

Later.

A letter from Wu Yen.

Later.

A letter from Yinchun.

That evil thing. . .

Let's see what she wrote.

Erotic poetry...

She has no shame!

Pornographic prose. . .

This is unbearable!

I have to teach her a lesson!

Your Majesty. . .

Don't stop me!

I have to teach her a lesson!

Won't give up seducing me?

She crossed the line!

You're embarrassing me. . .

What's this?

How about this?

How obscene. . .

And this?

Let her out...

Your Majesty.

Go away!

Your Majesty.

What is it?

It better be something important.

Wu Yen has returned.

She's outside of the palace.

Wu Yen!

- Wu Yen! - Your Majesty!

You must be tired. . .

You look more tired.

While you were away saving the country,

I worked hard in the palace.

How about the lipstick marks?

Here!

It's all over your face!

You're entitled to awards.

You want money or a promotion?

Just say it!

I only want one thing.

I want you to keep your word,

and marry me.

Sure...

Let's talk later.

Anything else you want?

I only want one thing.

But you made a great contribution.

I can make you a general.

I only want one thing!

Stop saying that.

Think I don't have the power?

Trying to put it off?

No.

Trying to delay it?

Not true.

Then let's get married.

Fine, we'll pick a date.

Bring me the calendar.

Your Majesty.

Not good...

Bat date. . .

A bad omen!

This one is okay. . .

But that's grandma's Memorial Day.

Nothing is available for the next 3 years.

We have to do this later.

I'm not lying.

Ask Historian if you don't believe me.

He's an honest man.

The emperor is right.

But today is a great day to get married!

No.

You can't rush my wedding.

We've already prepared everything.

It's all ready.

Surprise!

We need to make a general announcement,

and see if anyone objects.

We already did that.

Everyone congratulated Your Majesty.

I object!

See?

Your Majesty.

Why do you object?

You are ugly and mean.

You don't know how to serve him.

Most important of all... I love you.

Who let you out?

Your Majesty did!

Right after you left.

No, just now.

I'll be frank.

When you were away,

we fooled around every night.

His Majesty said he doesn't like you.

Shut up!

Go on and hurt me. . .

You'll only break his heart.

Go on...

You want to be with him?

Marry me instead.

Sweetheart!

- Your Majesty. - Your Majesty.

I know what you'll say,

that I shouldn't let her out.

Your Majesty.

I know what you'll say,

that I should keep my word.

Your Majesty!

Fine...

Wedding tonight!

I'll also issue a general pardon.

Your Majesty!

It's not like I want this.

Where's your dignity?

Is he worth it?

Why marry him?

See you at the banquet tonight.

Great... grandfather-in-law!

Come out!

What's the matter? That hurts.

Do you have the spell book on you?

Yes.

Hurry. . .

What's the rush?

You're my great. . . granddaughter-in-law.

I want to be pretty for one night.

Come on.

I failed last time.

It won't work.

No.

Tonight is my big night.

I want to be pretty!

Told you it won't work.

The emperor is coming soon.

I want to be pretty!

Fine...

I'll give it a try.

Quick.

Okay!

No way!

I don't want to fly!

I want to be pretty!

I know...

Where are you?

Over here.

Why are you here?

I want to be pretty, not tiny.

Let me write it down first.

That's how you make someone tiny.

Okay!

Where are you now?

I want to be pretty, not invisible

I'm already doing my best.

The mole is gone.

But I have a mustache!

Told you it won't work.

What should I do?

Shave it.

Now you're pretty!

But my voice will ruin it.

Don't worry, use falsetto.

Let's try it.

Your Majesty.

No, softer.

Your Majesty. . .

Your Majesty!

That's it...

Very sexy. Congratulations...

Wait!

- Turn your face over. - Why?

Just don't look!

What's wrong?

No big deal. . .

Just don't let him get too close.

You can't tell when the light's off.

It's my wedding night!

My spell book.

I'll go get help.

A pecker?

Take this and she'll be fine.

It breaks the spell?

No pecker,

but she'll still be ugly.

No, I want to be pretty.

Wait. . .

Pretty AND no pecker?

Got it.

Drink this and she'll be fine.

Pretty for one night?

That's right.

There's a side effect.

She'll be fat in her next life.

Fat in my next life?

You'll gain on a lot of weight.

Then I won't eat.

It won't work.

Then I'll lose weight.

Still won't work.

Maybe you shouldn't take this.

- Sweetheart. - Your Majesty.

Time's up.

We should go.

No...

- Your Majesty. - Sweetheart...

I have more toys.

This is Mahjong.

The deities...

No, the laymen love this.

It's catching on everywhere.

I want to try.

It gets me in touch with my people.

How do you play?

Probably like this.

Like this?

This is fun...

Childish!

Your Majesty.

Here's the instructions...

So that's how you play it.

Let's play together.

You lost!

- Pay up... - This is fun. . .

I won. . .

Wait. . . A ruff!

- This is fun. . . - Pay up...

Tiles in my sleeve?

It says in the instructions.

Hiding tiles in sleeves is cheating.

Offenders shall receive blows to their hands!

This is fun...

That's it.

You didn't say the line.

Your Majesty should go.

No, you have to act mean and say,

Kiddo, I dare you to come to my joint again.

Time's up.

I still have dominos and playing cards.

- Sweetheart... - Enough!

Let go!

Your Majesty!

Dominos sounds fun.

Don't make it difficult for me.

How about playing cards?

We have to do this.

Just a few more rounds.

His Majesty should face reality.

It's easy to take a wrong step.

No way out!

Hurry. Let's get this over with.

What did you say?

Hurry. Let's get this over with.

Say it again?

Hurry. Let's get this over with.

Are you upset?

Yes!

- Then leave. - As you wish.

Didn't expect to leave here alive.

- Go back to Yinchun! - Of course.

- Imbecile! - Ugly girl!

What a unique knot!

Looks like a butterfly!

Beautiful flowers.

They float too!

The mirror is facing the wrong direction.

It's not right.

This is better. Look at my wife.

How charming.

Even when she's angry.

She's still the prettiest.

Womanizer!

Isn't that women love?

Not me.

Don't deny it.

Come.

Does that hurt?

Yes. . .

But it feels good.

Very refreshing. . .

Give me a kiss, honey.

This is what love is:

Intimacy. . .

Passionate affection!

The love we share...

will never die!

Just one kiss. . .

Go to hell!

If I can have a pretty girl...

Go to hell!

I'll rest in peace!

Don't kiss her, imbecile!

Don't let him kiss you, ugly girl!

I'm heart-broken. . .

My man is spending the night with that girl.

I'm heart-broken.

My girl is spending the night with that guy!

I can't stand it anymore!

Hold there!

Great... grandfather-in-law!

Shut up!

Wu Yen is my great. . . granddaughter-in-law.

Leave her alone!

You can't stop me.

The Spirit Eliminator!

The Righteous Sword!

Attack!

Failed again!

Same result.

You didn't practice!

Go away!

The Ultimate Destruction Bomb!

Even with 3000 years of practice,

you'll still face ultimate destruction.

What if it fails again?

Then I'm in trouble.

I'll face ultimate destruction.

Which do you think is likely. . .

you facing ultimate destruction,

or me getting hit by the bomb,

and facing ultimate destruction?

Most likely it'll be me.

I may be wiped out.

Then why don't you give up?

I'll do everything. . .

for Wu Yen's happiness!

An opportunity wasted!

I'm a lost cause!

Where is it. . .

Monster. . .

I'm doomed. . .

- Your Majesty. . . - Put it behind you. . .

Just pretend it was a nightmare.

Your Majesty.

Stop calling me.

I don't feel good.

How unfortunate.

My life has become a tragedy.

I need an exorcism to dispel the curse.

You should've been considerate.

Stay away from me if you're ugly.

This can cause permanent trauma.

What if I become impotent?

I'm dead!

Liar! You never loved me!

How can I love someone this ugly?

Did you cast a spell on me last night?

I'm too good for you.

Imbecile!

Ugly girl!

I'll kill you!

Don't call me names! Imbecile!

You're doing it!

You're the ugliest thing that ever existed!

Shut up, or I'll kill you!

How dare you!

I can feel the bruise.

I may go blind.

Where's the doctor?

I also need psychological counseling.

Your Majesty. . .

Why hold the competition at night?

Your never get up in the morning.

Leave me alone! Ugly. . .

What was that?

Nothing.

What?

I can't say it.

Can't say what?

Nothing.

What can't Your Majesty say?

I'm free to say anything.

I dare you.

- Prime Minister. - Your Majesty.

Let's get it started.

The Warrior Championship now begins!

Competitors are split into 3 pairs.

The rounds are: hand combat, weaponry,

and military strategy.

Wait.

I don't want to be here all night.

Why not a brawl?

Last man standing is the winner.

Hurry!

That was fast.

Come, I'll grant you a title.

Yes!

Your Majesty!

Let me see you.

Yes!

Prime Minister.

Give him some gold and tell him to retire.

I, Tsi, am a patriot.

My wish is to serve the country.

Please make me the general!

You're too scary-looking.

How can you be the general?

Get out of my sight!

I don't want to see you again!

I, Tsi, am a patriot.

My wish is to serve the country.

Please make me the general!

I've never seen any general this ugly.

Want to scare me to death?

How can I take you to dinner parties?

I'll become a laughing stock.

It'll be a national embarrassment!

I, Tsi, am a patriot.

My wish is to serve the country.

Please make me the general!

Stop saying that!

You ugly people just don't give up.

I got it...

Your Majesty is forbidden to say: She's ugly!

You shouldn't direct your anger towards Wu Yen. . .

onto other people.

I'm not!

He's an embarrassment.

I should throw him into prison!

Whatever goes on between you and Wu Yen,

settle it somewhere else.

Don't make others pay.

I just despise him.

I'll not only imprison him,

but also seize his property!

Your Majesty!

Only dictators abuse the law for themselves.

I'll slap you. . .

Shut up!

Your Majesty can do anything he wants.

- He can have Tsi beheaded. - Please say something, Your Highness.

Right, I can have him beheaded.

So?

Your Majesty.

If you want history to remember you as an imbecile,

then behead Tsi.

If you think I'm ugly,

don't come to my palace anymore.

Congratulations, Your Majesty!

Never have to see that ugly girl again!

What's the punishment?

Told you we shouldn't do this at night.

See what happened?

- Lock him up. . . - Yes!

Are you lonely?

Don't hit me!

It hurts your hand,

and it's tiring to resurrect myself.

We've wasted enough time.

Do you know I'm upset?

What about me?

I was heart-broken on your wedding night.

Then you teased me the next day.

How's the emperor treating you?

If it weren't for you,

he'd treat me better!

But I showed you who he really is.

She's having an affair.

Let her be.

Don't spread it out.

Sure, we have restraint.

- Your Majesty! - Go

Come...

I'm not in the mood.

- What's wrong? - I've been cheated on!

Rumors are flying,

that Wu Yen is seeing someone.

How could she!

Are you jealous?

I lost face!

What should I do?

Behead her!

Not so fast.

Throw her out of the palace!

Then hurry.

We need proof.

Let's spy on her secretly.

But I'm the emperor,

people always follow me around.

How do I go secretly?

What are you doing?

They're heavy.

- A little exaggeration makes a good disguise. Come.

Together.

I'll be the lookout, go.

Why come again?

I came to say goodbye.

Goodbye?

I just want all of us to be happy.

So I've decided to leave.

Are you serious?

It's because I love you too much.

Sorry.

Where are you going?

Home, Snow Mountain.

That slut!

It's cold there.

It's nothing compared to how I feel inside.

I'll spend the rest of my life...

alone in a complete whiteout.

The only consolation I have. . .

is wishing you from afar...

everlasting joy and happiness.

Why are you doing this?

I don't ask for anything.

But before I leave,

can I have a hug?

It's the final wish. . .

of this poor lonely soul.

A secret lover?

I got you!

Adulteress!

Perfect timing...

You're both dead. Hold there!

I'll kill you!

Goodbye, sweetheart.

Whenever you want a date,

I'll be here anytime.

Slut!

Who are you?

I'm the emperor.

This time I'll succeed!

Prepare to die!

You think I'm having an affair?

I have proof.

It's fortunate she told me to spy on you.

Yinchun again?

Come with me!

Stop dragging me!

Should be the other way around.

I caught you with another man!

Help!

Hold there!

Don't stop me!

I'll kill this evil concubine first!

Her? Be my guest!

Don't!

Miss.

- Miss... - How dare you, Tsi?

Give it up!

- Back off! - Calm down!

Go ahead.

The palace has plenty of these women.

We've never seen her before anyway.

Take it easy. . . Mr. Tsi.

We can talk. Don't hurt the emperor.

The emperor?

The emperor's concubine!

The North Palace Empress!

What do you want?

Where is Emperor Qi?

You can't touch him as long as I'm here.

Let her go.

Tsi is a patriot.

That imbecile destroyed my life.

I don't care if we'll die together,

I've sworn to take his life!

Mister, I admire your courage.

Why talk about death?

As long as there's life, there's hope.

Where's that imbecile?

It's useless to kill one emperor.

Don't waste your life.

Let's overthrow the dynasty together someday.

It'll be good for the country.

You're his concubine.

Why should I believe you?

It's a long story.

I was forced to marry him.

That imbecile found me attractive.

He kidnapped me,

and killed my family.

What a tragedy.

When I saw you at the Warrior Championship,

I knew I was in love.

But I'm ugly. . .

I think you're the best-looking.

Let's go together!

This jade hairpin will give you money for the uprising.

Take it.

Just go!

You're not involved.

No!

I can't leave you behind!

Go!

Wrong guy!

I'll be back, sweetheart!

I'll take you with me!

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

Guards, handcuff her!

What for?

She's guilty of adultery,

and attempted murder.

Where's your proof?

His Majesty saw it himself.

What's your defense?

I was setup.

Throw her out of the palace.

But Wu Yen saved the emperor.

According to the law,

Any empress guilty of adultery shall be beheaded.

I hope Your Majesty really saw it.

Actually... I'm not sure.

Your Majesty.

I know what to do.

So it's only a hunch.

That doesn't support the murder charge.

It's accidental manslaughter at best.

That's a prison sentence.

Lock her up then.

Your Majesty!

Hush!

It didn't work!

Your Highness...

I know the way.

The Seven Nations Games now begins!

Emperor Qi of the host nation will speak.

Applause please!

Qi will win for sure!

You call those athletes?

I think they're cute.

That's the best Qi can offer?

No wonder they look like retards.

Just look at the emperor himself,

What a loser.

Qi will lose for sure!

- Are you all right? - Did that hurt?

I wish Wu Yen was here.

She'll teach them a lesson!

My beloved...

My beloved!

Open up. . .

My beloved!

What a day.

Everyone's at the Seven Nations Games.

Too bad you're not here.

It's a great loss.

Why don't you join us?

Lost everything?

Winning is not important.

Friendship comes first.

Lost everything?

You gained weight.

Probably sat here for too long.

Go out and exercise.

Lost everything?

Yes. . .

It's not pretty!

Help me, my beloved.

I'm accused of adultery and attempted murder.

I'm a criminal.

That was a joke. I pardon you...

I'm free to go?

Yes, you are.

I have a sore neck and an aching back.

I need a massage.

Prime Minister!

Yes, Your Majesty!

You let other people touch me?

I'll do it. . .

Half-hearted effort.

Forget it.

Fine...

That hurts! Trying to kill me?

Fine...

Better now?

Comfortable?

I'll massage your legs too.

Get down.

Get down?

What for?

Carry me.

Why?

Do you want me to win?

I can walk out of here myself.

But I need to save energy in order to win.

I'll carry you...

Let's go.

Are you comfortable?

Hold on to me.

Is it too bumpy?

I wish you'd be nice to me...

not because you need a favor.

I'm nice to you all the time.

Representing Qi, Wu Yen.

My beloved.

Don't! Don't blow kisses!

Your Highness...

Our first medal ever!

She must've taken illegal drugs!

Sign her up for every event.

Representing Qi, Wu Yen!

Here!

Your Highness!

Representing Qi, Wu Yen!

Here!

Your Highness!

Go for it!

Representing Qi. . . . It's her again!

Me again.

Your Highness!

Representing Qi. . . . Still her!

Your Highness!

Representing Qi. . . . Forget it!

It's your turn!

Try your best!

Push it!

I'm tired.

I can't go on.

Don't think that way!

Do it for the country, for honor...

For me!

Do it for me...

I don't believe this!

You morons.

How can you let a woman win?

You...

Every single one of you...

Imbecile! Imbecile. . .

Don't think we won't slap you silly!

- My beloved! - Your Majesty.

You must be tired.

No, I'm not.

I made my country proud!

Help...

Help. . . Your Majesty.

What's wrong?

They were going to slap me silly.

That's too much!

How dare you touch my girl!

You want trouble?

Shut up, or we'll kick your ass!

We won't stop until we slap this big mouth silly!

Hold it!

Anyone who hurts my girl will have to leave!

Sticking up for her?

Why can't I?

I declare war on you!

Go ahead! Think I'm scared?

I also declare war on you!

Go ahead! Think I'm scared?

All six of us declare war on you!

Go ahead! Think I'm scared?

It's 1 vs. 6! Your Majesty is brave!

Of course.

Latest report, Your Majesty.

The Six Nations joint force is near the border.

An invasion is imminent.

They're already here?

Your Majesty can finally conquer the world!

How. . . many men?

At least 500 thousand!

That's nothing.

Wait.

My loyal subjects. . .

Don't go!

My loyal subjects. . .

Any... suggestions?

Tell me.

Say something!

Your Majesty.

Let me help you.

Good...

You're in charge.

This is a critical moment.

Everyone has to fight.

General, bring 5000 men to the border.

You'll be the first wave.

Understood.

Prime Minister, you'll command the army.

Leave tomorrow morning.

Understood!

Historian, Advisor.

You'll be military strategists.

Yes! Your Highness!

Bring His Majesty's armor.

Yes!

And His Majesty's battle flag.

Yes!

What for?

Your Majesty is courageous.

You're willing to fight 6 nations for Yinchun.

Everyone has to do his part.

- Lead the army yourself! - I. . .

Your Majesty is leading the army!

How brave of you.

I'm proud of you too.

Will you accompany me?

I have to stay here. . .

to protect your sweetheart.

Go. You can leave in peace.

Your Majesty.

How much does it weigh.

A hole! Is it reliable?

Hard to say.

Depends on your luck.

Time to get going!

May Your Majesty return in triumph!

This way please!

Your Majesty!

Here! Here...

Calling me?

What is it?

I just want to take one last look at you.

I may not get the chance after today.

You want to leave here?

Wrong.

It's Your Majesty who won't return.

The enemy outnumbers you.

Does that mean I'll die?

I'm not ready for that.

I'll teach you 3 life-saving techniques.

They'll keep you alive for a while.

Look.

Block! Block! Block!

Do that again?

It's too difficult for you. . .

Just remember one thing!

A quick death is the best way to go.

What was that?

Your Majesty.

War is inhuman.

Sometimes a wound you sustain is so painful...

that you wish you were dead.

When necessary, you should...

I don't want to die. Help me!

Why don't you go?

Your Majesty!

Shut up! Sweet... You evil!

It's all your fault.

You dragged the country into war.

I'm wrong, my beloved.

I grant you full power to run things.

Do you mean that?

Yes.

So I have full power to punish Yinchun?

Um. . .

I won't live with you in charge.

Don't grant her the power.

Your Majesty.

You're in charge. . .

Gentlemen,

How should Yinchun be punished?

I only said a few wrong things.

She should be beheaded.

But I'm only 1 6!

Those under 1 8 years of age,

shall have their limbs. . .cut off...

and stuffed into a wine jar!

I'm sorry.

I'll never do it again.

Those who repent shall go into exile,

to work as comfort woman!

Comfort woman?

Can you reduce the sentence?

You want to be in charge?

No, you are.

Here's my verdict.

She...

Help, Your Majesty!

Guards.... Lock her up.

Lock her up. . .

Help. . . Your Majesty!

Help!!!

We should go, gentlemen.

Let's grab a bite first.

Fine...

Have it your way!

Hope you die in battle.

But win the war first.

Your Majesty.

Forgot something?

What is it?

After I leave today,

I probably won't see you again.

Take good care of yourself.

This is not good...

This is not good!

There's no one left in the palace!

According to the scout report,

we've lost every battle.

What should I do?

Isn't Wu Yen capable of anything?

She's probably dead by now.

Are you worried?

Just confused.

Meet with the 6 emperors.

Negotiate with them.

They won't talk to me.

Find an excuse.

Like what?

Come...

What's this?

Mahjong. It's the latest craze.

You don't bite it.

How do you play?

It's very simple.

Here we go...

You two will team up...

A bad hand.

Throw out a tile.

Hurry.

I can't find any.

Did we win?

You won?

Which combination?

How many folds is that?

You didn't win.... You broke the rules.

Right, you broke the rules.

This is our first time.

We didn't know.

Put your tiles back up. . .

Throw one out. . .

Which one?

I win!

A flush?

Pay up...

You can't do that. . .

You have to wait.

Only after the first round.

Broke the rules again.

Pay up...

Give us another chance...

Fine, put your tiles back up. . .

We won!

The Four Blessings?

You can't do that!

You can't keep the tile.

Only if you throw one out.

Right...

Put the tiles back up. . .

So I didn't win?

Throw out one.

Which one?

This one.

I win!

What you had was nothing.

Look what I have.

It has three of a kind.

It's got everything.

You can't beat this...

The Fundamental Points...

A slam, pay up.

A slam Fundamental Points?

How much is that worth?

It's got everything.

What do you think?

Must worth a lot of money.

What a great hand.

A Natural Winning!

I win!

What are you doing?

Eating peanuts.

Your turn.

I win!

What is it?

I've got everything.

A slam Fundamental Points

I win!

What are you doing?

Having a smoke.

A slam Fundamental Points!

Four Blessings?

You can't do that.

I win!

A slam Fundamental Points

This is strange.

Only three of a kind.

It's lousy.

Bad luck!

Let's try something else.

Playing cards. It's popular abroad.

Don't trick us. We're new at this.

Great hand.

We'll go first.

A flush.

Pass.

We have a Lychee flush.

We have Almond. . .

An Almond flush. . .

We have Apple...

An Apple flush...

Pass.

We have Lychee...

8, 9, 1 0, Jack, Queen...

Flush again.

We have Apple...

8, 9, 1 0, Jack, Queen.

A flush.

What do you have?

Pass.

3 Kings!

Pay threefold.

But I have 4 twos.

Pay up...

Lost everything?

Give up your land.

Withdraw your troops.

We have another crisis. . .

What?

Tsi started a rebellion.

No way.

He sold that jade hairpin and formed an army.

They're 500 miles from the palace.

Tsi could be here anytime.

Keep me updated. . .

Yes!

Your Majesty!

Your Majesty. . .

You gave us a scare...

We heard you were ill.

Why call us back all of a sudden?

We were on a winning streak!

Say something, Your Majesty.

I'm sorry, my beloved!

What's wrong?

I can't say it...

Take whatever you like.

I want this one. . .

and this one.

I want these two.

Guards, take these away.

Hold it!

Tell us what happened.

I'm afraid you'll kill me.

Don't be afraid, Your Majesty.

Who knew we'd lost the Mahjong games?

All of the treasure is gone.

You gambled while I was away fighting?

It was meant to be a peace talk.

I'm sorry.

Forget it.

We can earn back the treasure we lost.

But there's more.

Emperor Qi, here's the treaty.

These cities are mine.

These counties are mine.

Sign the treaty.

Come!

Sign it!

I brought my seal.

His Majesty lost 1 8 cities and 6 counties.

I'm sorry, my beloved. . .

Don't be mad.

Fine, the land we lost,

we'll fight them for it!

But there's more.

Come with us, Wu Yen.

You are ours from now on.

What?

His Majesty lost you to the emperors.

You're no longer Qi's citizen.

Is that true?

I'm sorry!

How can you lose me?

I didn't know. I had a good hand...

How can you use me as a wager?

- I was going to win. . . - Shut up!

Let's go.

- Don't waste time. . . - Shut up!

- His Majesty doesn't want you. - Shut up!

- Your Highness... - Shut up!

- Forgive me! - No, Your Highness!

No...

Don't!

Hit me instead!

Don't punch his face.

Give him a break.

Prime Minister.

Yes?

What's the procedure?

What?

What's the procedure to divorce the emperor?

There's. . . no such thing.

I know there is.

There are 3 kinds.

The first, Mad As Hell.

The second, Hate You So.

The third. . .

Over And Done With.

What's the difference?

Mad As Hell means you're angry,

but not serious about the divorce.

Hate You So means you're heart-broken.

The chance for a reunion is slim.

Over And Done With means there's no affection left.

What's done can't be undone!

I choose the last one.

No, Your Highness...

There's always room for reconciliation

Don't do this, Your Highness!

The emperor knows he's wrong.

Give me face.

Gentlemen, please.

Repeat after me.

I ask you to be my witness.

I, Wu Yen, hereby divorce. . .

Emperor Qi!

I, Wu Yen, hereby divorce Emperor Qi.

Both parties are no longer involved. . .

with each other!

Both parties are no longer involved with each other.

That's it.

Applause please...

I'm no longer the empress.

If you're collecting debt...

go find her.

- Your Majesty. - Say something.

Like what?

Say I love you. It may work.

Right, say it!

Your Majesty!

My beloved! Wu Yen!

Ms. Wu. . .

Sister... Hey you...

Ugly girl!

Sorry...

Tsi's rebel forces are closing in.

What should I do?

It's always Wu Yen when all is wrong.

Yinchun when all is right..

Great. . . granddaughter-in-law.

It's gone. . .

You're pretty again.

Why did you lie to me?

You said the only way I'll be pretty...

is to love him whole-heartedly,

so he'll love me the same way.

Turned out I should've left him all along.

Sorry.

Goodbye, Ancestor Huan.

Goodbye.

How are you, sweetheart?

Where should we go?

I don't care. Your place?

Or Mine?

So long as we can be together.

Great to see you pretty again.

Put the past behind you.

I'll treat you nice.

Love me.

What is love?

Love is to give unconditionally,

to make your other half happy.

Wrong.

Love is destruction and sabotage,

to win someone over at all costs...

even if it means breaking his heart.

In the end it's over before you know it.

The chief is back. . .

Are you on vacation?

The mole is gone.

You must be having a blast!

Where's your husband?

"Seeking Husband"

Sweetheart!

Sweetheart. . .

- Sweetheart! - We have to go.

Did you see Yinchun?

Forget about her.

Tsi is almost here!

We can't hold him back.

There's no time left!

Then. . .

You guys stay behind.

Find Yinchun for me.

You have to!

You'll be held responsible if she's dead.

Get going! Hurry!

This is too much!

No wonder Wu Yen left you.

- Let's go! - Let's go!

Emperor Qi has been deserted by his men!

Your Majesty.

Tsi is almost here.

We have to go.

Be nicer to me from now on.

I came to say goodbye.

Seeing you like this makes it difficult.

What did you say?

I love Wu Yen more than anything.

I don't understand.

If you're not afraid of me,

If you can accept me, I may change my mind.

This is what I really look like.

Fairy Enchantress!

Scared?

Go way... Monster!

Don't come closer. . .

Looks like you can't accept me.

Who are you?

Your great. . . grandfather, Ancestor Huan!

A ghost!

I'll strangle you to death!

You ruined the country I built.

That's not the worst thing.

How dare you dress up as a woman?

Forget about how Wu Yen left you. . .

Forget about how Yinchun seduced you. . .

But dressing up as a woman?

Forget about how your vassals left you. . .

Forget about how Tsi became a rebel. . .

That's not the worse.

But dressed up as a woman?

Will you crawl through a pet door just to stay alive?

No, I won't.

Really?

Yes. I'm not a coward.

That's more like it.

You still have some dignity left.

What's the use?

Everyone outside wants me dead.

If you can appear out of nowhere,

can you get me out of the palace?

Get you out?

I'll be good from now on...

great... grandfather.

Close your eyes.

Abracadabra.

He's really gone.

It worked!

What have you done to me, Ancestor?

Sweetheart!

How are you?

Very well!

I was afraid I wouldn't see you.

I fought my way back for you!

You didn't have to.

I just love you too much.

After I kill Emperor Qi,

I'll marry you!

We'll throw a big party,

drink until we're wasted,

then have a passionate wedding night.

We'll have a lot of babies.

They'll look like us:

handsome and beautiful.

What a joy!

Sweetheart. . .

Sweetheart!

Guardian, take care of His Majesty for us.

Don't let others bully him.

Your Majesty, don't eat bad food. . .

Go peacefully, Your Majesty.

I'll go on recording history.

Eat more.

It's better to go with a full stomach.

My loyal subjects. . .

It's His Majesty!

He's alive.

What happened to you?

I had no choice.

Don't eat that!

Cold-hearted moron!

The food's for me anyway.

Only if you're dead.

- Prime Minister. - Leave me alone!

- Historian. - Shut up!

Advisor...

Go away!

General...

Don't treat me like this.

I know I was wrong.

Don't abandon me.

My loyal subjects. . .

Better change your act from now on.

You were such a pain!

I'll change, I promise.

Your sweet talk may work on us,

but will Wu Yen buy it?

She is seeking husband!

What? But I'm here.

You are divorced!

Over And Done With!

She didn't mean it.

She still loves me.

I got it.

She regrets divorcing me.

This is her way of asking me...

to take her back.

I'm blessed with God's grace,

I'll succeed.

After a full meal,

I'll go see my beloved!

The chief arrives!

Pick me, sweetheart.

My country is the richest!

My country has a wealth of talent!

Think this is a job interview?

Forget them. Pick me.

I'm good-looking.

You didn't mention your wrinkles.

I'm a devoted lover.

He just kidnapped some village girls.

I'm kind-hearted.

I'm everybody's darling.

All I see is obesity.

Pick me, sweetheart.

I'm well-versed in literature.

Fine...

I've heard enough.

What I'm looking for. . .

is someone that loves me more than I love him.

The competition has 3 rounds:

Wealth, Heart, and Tenderness.

The competition now begins.

Hold it. . .

Wait for me...

My beloved!

My beloved...

What do you want?

I want to join the contest.

What treasure did you bring?

Treasure?

Let's see...

I'm dead broke.

I have nothing to impress you.

Go home.

You'll only get humiliated.

So what do you have?

What's this?

38 cents.

You call this a treasure?

This is all I have.

Please accept it.

This is insulting!

How did you sink this low?

We should call you Emperor Cheap!

Leave, Emperor Cheap!

Forget it, Your Majesty.

36, 37, 38. . .

38 cents, chief.

You lost anyway.

First round competition. . .

Emperor Qi lost.

The emperor learned his lesson, Your Highness!

He's out of the competition.

There are two more rounds.

2 out of 3,

I'll turn defeat into victory!

Dream on.

Are you afraid?

Fine, have it your way.

Second round, Heart.

The first time I saw you,

I was attracted by your beauty.

Although you're married,

my love for you hasn't changed.

I heard about you since I was a kid.

I want to make you my wife.

But fate wouldn't let me have it.

If you marry me,

I'll dissolve my harems,

and let my mistresses go!

I'll let you run the country!

I love you more than the throne!

I can lose 1 0 years of my life for you!

Lies...

You're all lying!

Who are you? Where did you come from?

I'm the Fairy Enchantress!

Don't try to fool my sweetheart!

You're out of line!

I mean what I say.

Fine, eat this.

This is the Honest Bun.

Whoever eats it will speak the truth.

Eat it...

Of course you won't.

You are all here because. . .

Wu Yen makes a great general.

Not true.

- Are you kidding? - Right

- Then eat it. - I'm full.

Ate already.

- Eat! - No.

Let me!

I always thought you were ugly.

I even threw you into prison.

Never cherished your affection.

I was so wrong.

I'm despicable.

You're over reacting.

The bun is from a grocery store.

I'm telling the truth.

Who knows?

Don't believe him!

Stop arguing!

I don't want this to drag on.

So here goes.

Whoever catches the ball. . .

is my future husband.

Heavy fog. . .

I got it. I won.

You're finally mine.

I tricked those guys.

I gave them a cabbage.

Look how they're fighting over it.

- Let go. . . - No. . .

Over my dead body!

Let go!

- I'll kick your ass! - Help!

- Where's Emperor Qi? - Your Majesty. . .

My beloved!

I caught it. Where are you?

- Emperor Cheap. . . - Emperor Qi. . .

I caught it. . .

I finally caught it...

My beloved. Marry. . . me.

I promise to treat you well.

I love you...

Last time when Tsi's army closed in,

what I wanted to tell you was. . .

I love you.

The mole!

I don't mind, really.

As long as we're together.

I don't care if I lose the throne.

My beloved.

I'm afraid to lose you.

Now that I have you,

I'm grateful.

I'm grateful for everything!

Our love was predestined.

We first met in the fog.

Now we're reunited in the fog.

What are you holding in your hands?

I'm sorry, Your Majesty.

Stay for the banquet if you want.

Your Majesty.

Don't scare us.

Say something.

Wash it before you eat it.

You see the mole? I'm still in love with him.

You don't mind?

I don't.

What matters is I have you.

Don't regret it!

Do you understand what love is?

No.

I still haven't figured it out.

Forget it.

Come, sweetheart.

What happened?

What's going on?

Don't tell me...

You're pregnant.

So are you.

That's why you keep changing back.

I can't marry you.

Now that I'm female,

I have to be with the emperor.

Chief...

Help...

Tsi's army seized the emperor.

Let me down!

I've looked all over for you, imbecile.

Please don't kill me.

How about I give you back the throne?

Really?

I did your job for a few days,

It's boring.

True, it's a terrible profession.

It's unbearable.

So you'll accept it?

No problem.

But bestow me the North Palace Empress.

Who?

I'll kill you if you refuse!

No...

What if the empress is dead?

I'll kill you!

What if she doesn't love you anymore?

Then what?

I'll kill you!

If. . . and I mean if...

there's no such a person,

that SHE is really a HE, then what?

I'll kill you!

My beloved!

- Your Majesty. - Sweetheart!

You came back for me.

I'm touched!

She's not as fierce as before.

She's pregnant.

How did that happen?

I'll make his sword break.

What's this?

I don't know.

I'll make his sword disappear!

What are you doing?

Sorry...

Pregnancy reduced my power.

You too?

That's the only reason I'm back!

We're outnumbered...

It's not fair!

Don't move!

This is how he treats you.

Why risk your lives for him?

He stepped on my foot.

He stepped on my stomach.

I stuck around for him!

He never changed his act.

No. . . Not true.

I'm not a coward.

You want the North Palace Empress?

Here you go!

I am she.

You liar!

I'm sorry to have misled you.

Kill me if you want.

But leave my lovers and friends alone!

Your Majesty!

I take full responsibility.

I didn't expect my first love to end this way.

What's the purpose of fighting?

Kill the traitor.

Let him go.

Thank you for the pardon!

Tsi.

Do you want to serve the country as the new general?

Of course.

I trained all my life.

My goal is to serve the country.

But Your Majesty...

Anything is okay...

Just don't look at me this way.

I need time to adjust.

Fine...

This is great.

We recovered the throne and recruited a general.

The empresses also returned.

I'm not planning on staying.

You came back for me,

it means you still care about me.

The mole is proof. Stay.

I don't want Wu Yen when all is wrong,

Yinchun when all is right.

Your Highness...

I've made up my mind.

You can't leave, daughter-in-law.

What did you do?

I tied a wedding knot on your leg.

I completed training. I'm a Matchmaker now.

Take it away.

You can't undo it.

The marriage was predestined.

I'm going.

Be nice to each other.

I want to leave!

Don't be stubborn.

What's wrong with the

way things are now?

I don't mind.

I want to leave!

Family harmony is the basis of everything.

They won't stop fighting.

I think it's nice.

How sweet.

Emperor Qi's indecisiveness...

earned him two great wives.

Wu Yen when all is wrong, Yinchun when all is right.

went on to become a legend.

A popular tale.

Okay...

Let's go to the Yaksah Mountain.

I'm not fit to travel.

I want to go!

Come on.

Stop repeating yourself.

Don't get mad. . .

I'm going. Don't follow me!

- Stay. . . - Who's following you?

It's because of the wedding knot.

I'm leaving.

- Stay. . . - Don't be mad...

Come on, Your Majesty.

Why are you always like this?

- Let go. . . - Come on...

Wait until the baby is born.