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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:50,569 Now I am the richest person in the world. 2 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:54,471 I am the richest person in the world. 3 00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:59,968 Now I am the richest person in the world. 4 00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:04,374 I am the richest person in the world. I am... 5 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,853 Mi capit�n, not another ship in sight. 6 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,818 Yes, King Carlos should be very pleased. 7 00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:16,760 Tell me, who is more important to please... 8 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:20,389 the King of Spain or God? 9 00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:23,101 Well, God, of course. 10 00:03:23,169 --> 00:03:26,730 And who is God's personal representative in this vicinity? 11 00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:30,237 Well, you are, Your Blessed Rectitude. 12 00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:32,977 Well, God wants to keep all of it. 13 00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:35,436 But... 14 00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:39,641 And anybody who dares "buts" God's personal representative... 15 00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,779 will soon find his head pierced and his neck stretched... 16 00:03:42,855 --> 00:03:45,881 and will go on to meet God very quickly! 17 00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:49,086 Which is more than anybody could reasonably hope for... 18 00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,130 Your Holy Ruthlessness. 19 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:55,827 Instead, you may bang your head on the floor until forgiven. 20 00:05:15,381 --> 00:05:17,975 Congratulations, Captain Yellowbeard. 21 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:23,353 - I'm glad my plan was a success. - Your plan, my gold. 22 00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:27,124 Hands off my treasure, Bosun Moon! 23 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:30,353 I said hands off! 24 00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:34,256 Do I have to do everything myself? 25 00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:35,718 Come now, don't slow down. 26 00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:37,786 - Step over him. - Move it. 27 00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:41,095 - Step out of the way. - We've got another one here now. 28 00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:44,166 Over here. 29 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,569 Bloody hell, another one. Bloody witches. 30 00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:49,938 Corpses, corpses, all day long. Never stops. 31 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:54,971 You know, Gilbert, being a prisoner's not what it was when I came in here. 32 00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:57,213 Here we go. 33 00:06:58,184 --> 00:07:01,153 Whimpering poncies. They get a leg broken and they faint. 34 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:04,155 A few fingernails pulled out, they start crying. 35 00:07:04,223 --> 00:07:06,157 When they stretched me on a rack for a couple of years... 36 00:07:06,225 --> 00:07:09,058 I didn't go around dying all over the place. 37 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:15,264 Pathetic. Taking the easy way out like that. 38 00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:16,699 How do you mean exactly? 39 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:19,704 Dying. He'd only been in 15 years. 40 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:23,970 You won't catch me dying. They'll have to kill me before I die. 41 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,443 Many a man has tried, Captain Yellowbeard. 42 00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:30,782 And soon you will be at large again. 43 00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:33,512 With a hand-picked crew of the hardest buccaneers... 44 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:36,453 that have ever stained the seven seas with Spanish blood. 45 00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:40,083 It was most unjust I thought, locking you up for... 46 00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,217 merely doing your duty. 47 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,856 Twenty years for killing 5,000 dagos and frogs. 48 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:49,299 Betrayed by me right-hand man, that bastard Moon. 49 00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:52,226 But he never found out where you hid the treasure, did he? 50 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,273 No! Nor will he ever. 51 00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:58,366 Where did you hide the treasure, actually? 52 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,742 You won't catch me with those trick questions. 53 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,583 What really pisses me off, is... 54 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,712 - What is it now? - You've got a visitor. 55 00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:11,789 I expect that'll be the Queen with my pardon. 56 00:08:25,705 --> 00:08:29,232 - Hello, sugar drawers. - What, you again? 57 00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:32,776 Again? I haven't seen you for 15 years. 58 00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:34,606 What is it this time? 59 00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:37,647 Well, what with you being let out next week... 60 00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:42,819 I thought it was my duty as a wife to bring you up to date on a few things. 61 00:08:43,122 --> 00:08:46,956 Now, do you remember just before you were arrested we were having a cuddle? 62 00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:50,518 - I was raping you, if that's what you mean. - All right. 63 00:08:50,963 --> 00:08:54,797 - Sort of half cuddle, half rape. - Get on with it, woman! 64 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:59,968 Well, I haven't told you this before, because I wanted him to be brought up... 65 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:02,371 like a gentleman and not a pirate. 66 00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,537 Who are you talking about? 67 00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:08,877 - The fruit of your loins, sugar drawers. - Are you mad, woman? 68 00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:12,406 I haven't got fruit in my loins. Lice, yes, and proud of them! 69 00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:15,818 It means that we have spawned a son. 70 00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:17,082 Done what? 71 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,717 You have just become the father... 72 00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:23,727 of a 20-year-old bouncing boy called Dan. 73 00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:27,626 A son. Takes after me, does he? 74 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,390 Well... 75 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:33,165 By the time I was 20, I'd killed 500 men. 76 00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:36,831 Well, he's not quite so extroverted as you, but he's... 77 00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,876 - A thief? - No. 78 00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:41,277 - A rapist? - No. 79 00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:44,839 - Bloody hell. I give up. What is he then? - He's a gardener. 80 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:49,854 A gardener? A Yellowbeard gardening? I'll see about that when I'm out. 81 00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:53,887 - What is it now? - Time's up, sir. 82 00:09:55,861 --> 00:09:58,557 So your son's a gardener, eh? 83 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:11,008 - There you are, Mr. Pew. - I said a double. 84 00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:15,673 - Did you? - I know a double when I hears one. When! 85 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,019 Dan's coming. 86 00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:26,520 Reading as usual. 87 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,624 There you are, Dan. 88 00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:40,535 - Got a moment? - I'm reading something. 89 00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:42,106 Read, read. 90 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,534 Read, read, read. 91 00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:49,044 There's more important things in life than reading, Son. 92 00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:51,813 Keep an ear on the bar, would you, Mr. Pew? 93 00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:52,908 Right. 94 00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:55,415 If there's one thing I've learned in life... 95 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,048 it's that learning things never taught me nothing. 96 00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:00,957 - And books is the worst. - All right, Mother. 97 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:05,360 Last time I read a book, I was raped. 98 00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:10,157 - So let that be a lesson to you. - What do you want? 99 00:11:11,103 --> 00:11:13,003 Well, it's about your father. 100 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:15,971 What about him? 101 00:11:17,209 --> 00:11:19,234 Well, when I said he was dead... 102 00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:23,646 - I was only trying to cushion the blow. - What blow? 103 00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:25,444 He's alive. 104 00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:29,948 He's alive and imprisoned as a pirate. 105 00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:31,988 A pirate? 106 00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:37,422 - Like Yellowbeard? - Very much like Yellowbeard, yes. 107 00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:39,623 In fact, he is Yellowbeard. 108 00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:55,004 No, thank you, sir. 109 00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:07,689 Commander Clement, Royal Navy. 110 00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,367 Welcome, Commander Clement. 111 00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:27,936 Her Majesty's temporary throne room... 112 00:12:28,013 --> 00:12:32,143 - is in the huge withdrawing room. - Thank you, Lady Lambourn. 113 00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:42,619 Lambourn, stop that man pissing on the hedge. 114 00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:44,758 It's imported! 115 00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:49,395 You, come here! You, stop that at once! 116 00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:52,096 That comes special, all the way from Egypt! 117 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:08,844 Next... 118 00:13:10,022 --> 00:13:13,048 the head of Her Majesty's Secret Service. 119 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,525 Not to be read out loud. 120 00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:21,390 Excuse me. Joking apart. 121 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:26,066 Royal Navy Commander Clement. 122 00:13:46,725 --> 00:13:49,819 The fat one on the throne is the Queen. 123 00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:55,463 She's not very well today, so I should kneel upwind of her. 124 00:13:56,802 --> 00:14:00,465 And the thin one is Lady Churchill. She's the brains of the outfit. 125 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:11,574 - State your business. - Your Majesty, we in the Naval Department... 126 00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:15,780 while being keenly aware of recent spirals in Defense expenditure... 127 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,722 - humbly submit... - Are you the Prime Minister? 128 00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:22,927 Secret Service. 129 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,289 Charades! 130 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:32,068 - You're a beekeeper. - That'll do for her. 131 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,130 - Will it? - What do you want? 132 00:14:36,141 --> 00:14:39,201 The pirate Yellowbeard is due to be released in two days... 133 00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:42,406 and despite years of unpleasantness, he's still told us nothing... 134 00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:44,108 of the treasure he's hidden. 135 00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:47,084 However, I have a detailed plan here. 136 00:14:47,152 --> 00:14:51,088 I doubt if she could manage more than the label on a gin bottle. 137 00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:52,757 Just tell us. 138 00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:57,258 Well, milady, we'd like you to increase his sentence, so he's bound to escape... 139 00:14:57,329 --> 00:15:01,857 and make straight for the treasure. I shall need a fast ship to follow him. 140 00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:05,995 A sensible request, I think, Your Majesty. 141 00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:13,211 The beekeeper would like this signed. 142 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:14,974 Certainly. 143 00:15:20,152 --> 00:15:23,485 - Come on, move it, you ratbag! - Get in there! 144 00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:28,787 - Mr. Yellowbeard. - Captain to you, you scum. 145 00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:33,025 Quite. Sorry, "Captain" Yellowbeard. 146 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,927 Yes. Twenty years ago today, you were sentenced to jail. 147 00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:41,495 Yes, and now I'm due to be released. 148 00:15:41,573 --> 00:15:43,837 Yes. Or rather no. 149 00:15:44,343 --> 00:15:46,174 You see, 20 years ago... 150 00:15:46,245 --> 00:15:50,079 no one was expected to live in jail for 20 years. 151 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:54,480 Filthy, horrendous conditions that existed then, and, indeed... 152 00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:56,648 still exist today. 153 00:15:56,722 --> 00:16:00,385 So the judge who sentenced you had no idea you would survive. 154 00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:03,723 Therefore, Her Majesty has graciously agreed... 155 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:07,527 to increase your sentence a further 140 years. Case dismissed. 156 00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:09,700 I've got him! 157 00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:11,693 Sorry. 158 00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,634 - Get off of me! - What are you doing? 159 00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:22,573 Stop him! Stop him! 160 00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:27,444 Get over there where you belong! 161 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:33,113 - Went well with the Commander then, did it? - No. 162 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:38,186 So I can take it you won't be leaving us just yet, as it were. 163 00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:40,629 They broke their solemn word. 164 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,730 There's governments for you. 165 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:47,138 I expect they wanted to know about the treasure. 166 00:16:47,206 --> 00:16:50,107 Yes, and that's something they'll never know. 167 00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:53,439 Well, until you tell them about the treasure... 168 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:57,949 the only way you're gonna get out of here is feet first. 169 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:02,010 - Open the gate! - Must be an awful strain... 170 00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:05,282 being the only man in the world knowing where it's hidden. 171 00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:09,852 Why don't you share the burden with a friend? 172 00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:14,626 Gilbert. 173 00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:17,263 Mr. Moon? 174 00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:22,232 - Is that you? - Get a move on, Gilbert. 175 00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:27,877 Coming, Captain. Here I come. 176 00:17:47,866 --> 00:17:49,629 Move, you scum. 177 00:17:58,277 --> 00:18:01,212 - Yellowbeard. - Who was that stink? 178 00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:15,917 I do wish it didn't have to be such a rush every time. 179 00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:17,018 What? 180 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:22,089 I haven't got time for that now! 181 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:25,898 Well, it's been 20 years since we had a little cuddle... 182 00:18:25,971 --> 00:18:30,101 and what do you do? Come in here and give me a kiss? 183 00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:34,578 No. You rush in and hack a hole in the wall. 184 00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:37,911 - Where's the map? - What map? 185 00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:41,845 If you say you don't know where it is... 186 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:45,151 I'll nail your tits to the table! 187 00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:49,126 Oh, dear! 188 00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,357 I know where it is. 189 00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:53,297 It's burnt. 190 00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:55,864 You burnt my map? 191 00:18:55,934 --> 00:19:00,132 - But only after I copied it. - Where's the copy? 192 00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:04,039 - When little Dan came along... - Who's Dan? 193 00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:07,674 My and probably your son! 194 00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:11,416 When little Dan was two minutes old... 195 00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:14,045 I tattooed it on his head. 196 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:18,153 - Does he know about this? - No. Nor nobody else, neither. 197 00:19:18,223 --> 00:19:21,488 That's why I kept him in the cupboard for three years. 198 00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:24,695 That may be why he's a bit odd... 199 00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:28,096 with all these books and reading and stuff like that. 200 00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:31,498 - Where is he now? - Lambourn Hall. 201 00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:34,668 Right. I'll go up there and cut his head off. 202 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:37,265 Where's my pirating outfit? 203 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:41,937 Royal Navy here. 204 00:19:46,652 --> 00:19:49,644 Where's Yellowbeard? 205 00:19:49,721 --> 00:19:51,188 Yellowbeard! 206 00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:56,060 Where is Yellowbeard? 207 00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:58,027 He's... 208 00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:00,620 He's... 209 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,427 He's... 210 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,026 He's... 211 00:20:06,838 --> 00:20:07,827 He's... 212 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,466 - gone! - Gone! 213 00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:15,039 Well... 214 00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:18,310 if he's gone, you must have seen him. 215 00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:20,743 No. 216 00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:22,684 Who's the pretty boy? 217 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:30,789 Shut up! 218 00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:40,170 And what's this? 219 00:20:41,139 --> 00:20:45,041 That's Lord Lambourn's waistcoat. He's such a kind man. 220 00:20:45,110 --> 00:20:49,046 He thinks of everybody. He left those here in case you escaped... 221 00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:53,551 - and needed a change of clothing. - I'm sure I killed the last one I raped. 222 00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:55,280 It can't have been you. 223 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:59,281 The after-play was a bit on the rough side... 224 00:20:59,358 --> 00:21:01,349 but not fatal, dear. 225 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:05,958 What's this Dan, or whatever you call him, look like? 226 00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:08,864 He looks a little bit like Lord Lambourn, actually. 227 00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:12,628 But a bit more like you. Much more like you, in fact. 228 00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:19,576 Yellowbeard. A tall, rough man with a big yellow beard. 229 00:21:35,827 --> 00:21:37,658 That's our agent, sir. 230 00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:41,889 Did you see... 231 00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:48,433 - He's blind, you stupid sod! - I may be blind... 232 00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:50,873 but I have acute hearing. 233 00:21:50,942 --> 00:21:53,934 I'm not interested in your jewelry, cloth eyes. I'm trying to conduct... 234 00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:55,445 Yellowbeard... 235 00:21:56,214 --> 00:21:58,808 - was here. - How do you know it was him? 236 00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:00,613 Because he sounded... 237 00:22:00,852 --> 00:22:02,877 about 47... 238 00:22:03,522 --> 00:22:08,391 and his clothing gave off the unmistakable fibrous crackling sound... 239 00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:10,621 - of the 80% hessian... - Which way did he go? 240 00:22:10,696 --> 00:22:13,790 ...whilst the deafening rustling of his beard... 241 00:22:13,865 --> 00:22:18,234 - indicated a length of not... - Which way did he go? 242 00:22:25,577 --> 00:22:27,841 - Upstairs. - Come on! 243 00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:38,221 - Where's Yellowbeard? - He's in prison, isn't he? 244 00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:41,748 Your husband escaped this evening. We know he came straight here. 245 00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:45,957 Come to think of it, somebody did come in here a while back... 246 00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:49,933 - but I don't think it was my husband. - These are his clothes. 247 00:22:50,302 --> 00:22:54,796 Wait a minute. Somebody did pop in and rape me. 248 00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:58,138 - These must be his clothes. - That's Yellowbeard, all right. 249 00:22:58,977 --> 00:23:01,275 Prison has reformed him. 250 00:23:01,346 --> 00:23:04,611 He never bothered to take his clothes off in the old days. 251 00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:07,743 - Where did he go? - I've no idea. 252 00:23:07,819 --> 00:23:10,947 Right, Mansell. Bring those clothes. We'll need a scent. 253 00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:13,918 - For the dogs. - Right. 254 00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:29,370 Yellowbeard? 255 00:23:35,847 --> 00:23:38,372 - Evening, Gilbert. - Now look here, Pew. 256 00:23:38,450 --> 00:23:41,613 - I'm all ears. - Those two gentlemen that just left... 257 00:23:41,686 --> 00:23:43,916 you didn't tell them everything you heard, did you, shipmate? 258 00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:45,251 What gentlemen? 259 00:23:45,323 --> 00:23:47,382 I didn't hear you mention much about a map. 260 00:23:47,459 --> 00:23:50,223 - What map? - Yellowbeard's map. 261 00:23:50,662 --> 00:23:55,258 The one that any pirate worth his parrot would give both his wooden legs for. 262 00:23:55,333 --> 00:23:58,530 You're drunk, Gilbert. Your mind's wandering. 263 00:23:58,603 --> 00:24:01,504 My hands will be wandering towards your throat, Pew... 264 00:24:01,573 --> 00:24:04,007 if you don't tell me what it is you overheard. 265 00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:07,010 So you can pass the information on to Mr. Moon... 266 00:24:07,078 --> 00:24:11,242 so he can find the treasure? Over my dead body. 267 00:24:11,316 --> 00:24:13,716 Very well, if those are your conditions. 268 00:24:13,885 --> 00:24:16,649 I was hoping we might see this eye to eye. 269 00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:22,017 I'm afraid you've forced my hand. 270 00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:25,594 Listen up, my hearties! Listen. 271 00:24:25,664 --> 00:24:28,997 This dear old blind man here... 272 00:24:30,068 --> 00:24:34,664 is a government agent! It is true. I saw him talking to those two. 273 00:24:34,739 --> 00:24:35,899 It is a lie! 274 00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:40,903 I only told him one thing... 275 00:24:41,913 --> 00:24:44,006 about a treasure! 276 00:24:44,950 --> 00:24:46,781 - Treasure? - Bolt that door. 277 00:24:46,852 --> 00:24:49,412 - Bolt that door, lads. - Draw them curtains. 278 00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:52,013 - Draw them curtains! - Put them other lights out. 279 00:24:52,090 --> 00:24:54,354 Put them other lights out, lads! 280 00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:11,772 - Where's Yellowbeard? - Mr. Moon, sir. 281 00:25:11,977 --> 00:25:15,777 I was following him, and then I thought I was being followed... 282 00:25:15,947 --> 00:25:18,745 - if you follow me. - Who'd follow you? 283 00:25:18,817 --> 00:25:20,944 Some stupid blind man. 284 00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:25,088 Well, we've got to follow Yellowbeard, and make sure no one else is following him. 285 00:25:25,156 --> 00:25:26,521 Do you follow me? 286 00:25:28,393 --> 00:25:30,293 What's going on in there? 287 00:25:47,979 --> 00:25:52,143 Evening. Sounded as though there was a bit of a squabble. 288 00:25:52,784 --> 00:25:54,046 Squabble? 289 00:25:54,519 --> 00:25:56,487 - They're all dead. - AII? 290 00:25:56,922 --> 00:25:59,220 Must have been more of a tiff then. 291 00:26:01,293 --> 00:26:03,056 Squabble, tiff. 292 00:26:06,197 --> 00:26:08,290 Mr. Moon! 293 00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:22,506 I imagine being in the Navy, you must know quite a lot about the sea and what's in it. 294 00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:25,482 - A trifle. - A trifle? 295 00:26:25,550 --> 00:26:29,680 Yes, I once had a rum trifle, but I only drink when I'm working. 296 00:26:30,021 --> 00:26:31,852 - Indeed. - There you are, Lambourn. 297 00:26:31,923 --> 00:26:35,484 I was wanting your advice on a matter of etiquetty. 298 00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:38,586 Now, does one curtsey before saying adieu... 299 00:26:38,697 --> 00:26:42,360 or does one go down while speaking? 300 00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:44,698 Oh, dear. That's tricky. 301 00:26:46,671 --> 00:26:50,198 Excuse me, Admiral. I must just have a word with this gentleman. 302 00:26:50,875 --> 00:26:54,038 I shan't be a moment. Oh, I say. 303 00:26:54,112 --> 00:26:57,809 Who was that chap who just seized hold of my wife? Do you know him? 304 00:26:58,416 --> 00:26:59,974 Steady. Steady. 305 00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:05,056 He seems to have taken quite a shine to Lady L. 306 00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:07,288 Yes. 307 00:27:08,159 --> 00:27:11,822 Not many people do, you know. But when they do, they do. 308 00:27:13,898 --> 00:27:16,059 And when she does, she does. 309 00:27:20,872 --> 00:27:22,806 - Is your name Dan? - Yes. 310 00:27:22,874 --> 00:27:25,934 - I need your head, my lad. - You're my father. 311 00:27:26,011 --> 00:27:28,070 So your mother says, but that's no reason to believe it. 312 00:27:28,146 --> 00:27:31,081 - Never trust a woman or a government. - Well, pleased to meet you. 313 00:27:31,149 --> 00:27:34,175 I haven't got time for idle chitchat! I need your head. 314 00:27:34,252 --> 00:27:35,651 Well, that makes a change. 315 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,154 Mother seems to disapprove of me using it at all. 316 00:27:38,223 --> 00:27:40,589 You're not gonna use it. You're gonna lose it, lad. 317 00:27:40,659 --> 00:27:43,457 I'm gonna use it. Right. Put your neck over there. 318 00:27:43,528 --> 00:27:46,691 - It'll be cleaner that way. - You want to cut my head off? 319 00:27:46,931 --> 00:27:49,058 - What for? - I don't want to lug your body... 320 00:27:49,134 --> 00:27:53,264 halfway around the world, do I? Your head's got a map on it that I need. 321 00:27:54,305 --> 00:27:57,604 Well, you don't need to kill me for it. Look, why don't you copy it? 322 00:27:57,676 --> 00:28:00,873 What? And have two maps? Bugger off! 323 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,108 Look, if you cut my head off, it'll start to putrefy. 324 00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:08,277 - Do what? - Putrefy! Go rotten! 325 00:28:08,353 --> 00:28:11,481 Yeah, it would ooze a lot. Heads do. But I can live with that. 326 00:28:11,556 --> 00:28:14,719 No, stop! Look! I could help you, Dad. 327 00:28:14,793 --> 00:28:15,782 Everyone will be following you... 328 00:28:15,860 --> 00:28:18,124 - and if they catch you, they'll have the map. - Bugger them! 329 00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:21,097 I'll eat it first. Won't be the first head I've eaten. 330 00:28:21,166 --> 00:28:22,633 But then you'll have lost it forever. 331 00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:25,067 Look. Wouldn't it be better to leave it where it's safe? 332 00:28:25,136 --> 00:28:26,660 What? And take you along? 333 00:28:26,738 --> 00:28:29,605 You're not pirate material! You wouldn't fit in. 334 00:28:30,842 --> 00:28:34,209 Hello, Dan. Been doing some gardening? 335 00:28:34,879 --> 00:28:37,609 - I don't believe we've been introduced. - All right, Dan. 336 00:28:37,682 --> 00:28:40,810 If you're my son, prove it. Kill this stupid old bugger. 337 00:28:40,885 --> 00:28:43,854 - Now hold your horses. - I can't kill him. He brought me up... 338 00:28:43,922 --> 00:28:45,184 just like a father. 339 00:28:45,256 --> 00:28:48,419 You mean he's beaten you and kicked you and smashed you in the teeth? 340 00:28:48,493 --> 00:28:49,482 - Yes. - No! 341 00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:52,189 - No. - He's been kind and gentle. 342 00:28:52,263 --> 00:28:55,460 - What kind of father is that? Kill him! - No! 343 00:28:55,533 --> 00:28:58,661 - All right. I'll do it. - No, don't! 344 00:28:58,737 --> 00:29:00,432 Look, he could be useful. 345 00:29:00,505 --> 00:29:04,601 Yes, I could be useful. I could, I could, I could. What could I do? 346 00:29:07,312 --> 00:29:09,507 - They followed you here. - I'll kill them all! 347 00:29:09,581 --> 00:29:11,674 - No, quick hide in here. - All right. 348 00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:15,208 But I'll kill anyone that gets in the way of me killing anyone. 349 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,312 We'll take him to Dr. Gilpin's. He always knows what to do. 350 00:29:18,389 --> 00:29:21,358 - And then kill everybody! - Whatever you like, Dad. 351 00:29:21,593 --> 00:29:25,495 Dad? Him? You mean to say I'm not your father? 352 00:29:25,563 --> 00:29:29,192 No. Mother says he is, but you're still my father to me. 353 00:29:29,267 --> 00:29:33,260 - I'm still my father to you, Son. - Look, you brought me up. 354 00:29:33,338 --> 00:29:35,499 You're my father. I don't even know him. 355 00:29:35,573 --> 00:29:38,667 - Lambourn! - I'll come with you, Son. 356 00:29:39,210 --> 00:29:42,873 - This Dr. Gilpin, is he your father? - No, he's your closest friend. 357 00:29:42,981 --> 00:29:44,915 I look forward to meeting him. 358 00:29:45,150 --> 00:29:48,517 Twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five... 359 00:29:58,062 --> 00:29:59,222 Lady Lambourn. 360 00:30:01,099 --> 00:30:04,330 - Well, he's not even married to her. - I think he's blind. 361 00:30:06,104 --> 00:30:07,901 Under her command, so to speak. 362 00:30:10,375 --> 00:30:12,935 Now, see here, if you go with him, you'll be criminals. 363 00:30:13,611 --> 00:30:16,102 You'll never be able to return to England. 364 00:30:16,848 --> 00:30:20,375 But if the government gets the treasure... 365 00:30:20,885 --> 00:30:24,981 they'll only waste it. Warmongering in Europe. 366 00:30:28,693 --> 00:30:29,990 There we are. 367 00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:35,360 - That looks nothing like me! - Well, that's the whole idea. 368 00:30:37,101 --> 00:30:41,265 I've got to go with him, my father, to get the treasure. 369 00:30:41,339 --> 00:30:44,467 - I've got the map of the island. - Could be very dangerous. 370 00:30:44,542 --> 00:30:46,169 It'll be dangerous. Do the boy good... 371 00:30:46,244 --> 00:30:49,042 to get a bit of senseless violence into his life. 372 00:30:49,147 --> 00:30:51,138 Will you come with us, too, Doctor? 373 00:30:51,216 --> 00:30:54,549 Why, think of all the new plants and medicines you could discover. 374 00:30:54,619 --> 00:30:56,018 Yeah. What's this? 375 00:30:56,888 --> 00:31:00,619 Stop! That's a precious extract from a rare tropical tree. 376 00:31:00,825 --> 00:31:03,419 One drop of it paralyzes a man instantly. 377 00:31:09,300 --> 00:31:11,291 Perhaps it wears off instantly. 378 00:31:12,170 --> 00:31:13,501 No. No. 379 00:31:14,339 --> 00:31:17,399 Possibly ineffective when taken through the mouth. 380 00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:20,807 Well, of course, if we really were... 381 00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:23,848 going on a botanical expedition... 382 00:31:24,249 --> 00:31:25,341 - They're here. - Kill! 383 00:31:25,416 --> 00:31:27,680 - There's no need to. - We must find a name for you. 384 00:31:27,752 --> 00:31:30,619 - Professor... - Professor Flask. 385 00:31:30,688 --> 00:31:32,349 - Professor Death! - Professor Chair. 386 00:31:32,423 --> 00:31:34,050 - Professor Rape! - Professor Clock. 387 00:31:34,125 --> 00:31:36,116 What about Professor Anthrax? 388 00:31:36,194 --> 00:31:38,321 - Yes. - Anthrax. 389 00:31:39,564 --> 00:31:42,055 Bugger off, you evil git! 390 00:31:42,367 --> 00:31:46,633 Evening, Doctor. I was just saying good day to Mr. Pew. 391 00:31:47,205 --> 00:31:50,538 Lord Lambourn. And Dan. 392 00:31:51,209 --> 00:31:55,168 - And? - Yeah, this is Professor Anthrax. 393 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:59,576 - That's Yellowbeard. - I'm in disguise, you stupid tart! 394 00:32:02,020 --> 00:32:04,750 - You've met your father then. - Yes. 395 00:32:04,889 --> 00:32:06,789 We've got some exciting news. 396 00:32:07,258 --> 00:32:10,591 - You're all going after the treasure! - Treasure? No. 397 00:32:10,895 --> 00:32:12,886 - No. - Botanical... 398 00:32:12,964 --> 00:32:14,522 Killing plants! 399 00:32:15,433 --> 00:32:16,991 - Chasing butterflies. - No. 400 00:32:17,068 --> 00:32:19,298 Well, I'm entitled to my share. 401 00:32:19,637 --> 00:32:23,664 What with all the lying and cheating and tattooing that I've done over the years. 402 00:32:23,741 --> 00:32:28,201 - Don't worry, Mother. You'll get your share. - I don't ask for much. 403 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:33,080 I'd just like to see a few of my little dreams come true. 404 00:32:34,319 --> 00:32:38,619 I've always wanted to buy Denmark and be richer than the Queen. 405 00:32:38,690 --> 00:32:41,921 Yes, and if you do your job covering up for us, Mother... 406 00:32:41,993 --> 00:32:44,359 - that will all come true. - And by the way... 407 00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:47,830 why did you tell me that I was his father? 408 00:32:48,333 --> 00:32:49,664 I didn't. 409 00:32:50,068 --> 00:32:53,595 You were so sure he was, I didn't have the heart to tell you. 410 00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:55,568 I think... 411 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,131 we'd better sail for Jamaica at once. 412 00:32:58,209 --> 00:32:59,972 We'll find a ship... 413 00:33:00,912 --> 00:33:02,436 at Portsmouth. 414 00:33:15,159 --> 00:33:18,253 I was only taking what's my due to cover expenses. 415 00:33:18,329 --> 00:33:20,797 You should see the mess they made. 416 00:33:20,932 --> 00:33:23,196 - What happened? - Plague. 417 00:33:24,168 --> 00:33:25,601 Plague? 418 00:33:25,670 --> 00:33:28,104 All sudden like. 419 00:33:28,172 --> 00:33:29,935 Lucky I was out. 420 00:33:30,575 --> 00:33:33,942 - That man's got a sword in him. - He fell on it. 421 00:33:35,179 --> 00:33:38,671 - Has Yellowbeard been here? - He's dead, too. 422 00:33:39,017 --> 00:33:42,145 And Lord Lambourn and Dr. Gilpin. 423 00:33:42,987 --> 00:33:44,386 And my son. 424 00:33:44,455 --> 00:33:46,719 My son, Dan! 425 00:33:47,158 --> 00:33:50,093 All gone, all dead. 426 00:33:50,628 --> 00:33:53,654 - Oh, my! - Oh, hell. 427 00:33:53,731 --> 00:33:55,858 If they're all dead, what are you gonna tell the Queen, sir? 428 00:33:55,933 --> 00:33:58,959 I mean, we're supposed to follow them to the treasure. 429 00:34:05,943 --> 00:34:10,209 - Halt! In the name of the law! - All right! I'm not deaf! 430 00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:16,452 All right, Pew, what have you heard? 431 00:34:23,828 --> 00:34:26,626 Little did Yellowbeard surmise... 432 00:34:26,697 --> 00:34:30,861 as he presented himself to his prospective traveling companions... 433 00:34:30,935 --> 00:34:34,666 that the details of the engagements were being overheard... 434 00:34:34,739 --> 00:34:37,503 by a tall blind man of impressive bearing... 435 00:34:37,575 --> 00:34:39,600 - aquiline features... - Cut the purple prose, Pew. 436 00:34:39,677 --> 00:34:43,010 Just give us the facts. Where's Yellowbeard gone? 437 00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:50,012 - Portsmouth. - With whom? 438 00:34:50,088 --> 00:34:51,749 Three people. 439 00:34:53,591 --> 00:34:54,990 Lambourn. 440 00:34:56,794 --> 00:34:57,988 Dan. 441 00:35:00,098 --> 00:35:01,725 Dr. Gilpin. 442 00:35:02,500 --> 00:35:05,298 Right, Mansell. We shall be needing that frigate. 443 00:35:09,307 --> 00:35:12,140 Come on, Mansell. We'll be needing Mrs. Beard. 444 00:35:12,443 --> 00:35:16,345 I think a month or two at sea will loosen Mrs. Beard's tongue. 445 00:35:16,848 --> 00:35:18,645 Is she going away, too, sir? 446 00:35:43,541 --> 00:35:44,838 That'll do him. 447 00:35:54,519 --> 00:35:57,215 How's that for a squabble, Pew? 448 00:36:06,197 --> 00:36:07,926 Here! Stop! Thief! 449 00:36:12,303 --> 00:36:13,895 Fresh flowers! 450 00:36:14,805 --> 00:36:16,534 Get your lucky heather! 451 00:36:17,808 --> 00:36:19,776 Yoo-hoo, fresh flowers, sir? 452 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:23,469 Yes. 453 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:30,177 Fresh heather! Fresh flowers! 454 00:36:38,663 --> 00:36:42,360 I've always been fascinated by the sea. It's so big. 455 00:36:42,433 --> 00:36:44,264 It has the little... 456 00:37:08,092 --> 00:37:10,754 It's the mouth of the river port, isn't it? 457 00:37:25,109 --> 00:37:26,770 Oh, my God! 458 00:37:30,181 --> 00:37:31,170 Come on. 459 00:37:36,654 --> 00:37:39,589 Harden your knives here. Sharpen your knives. 460 00:37:39,657 --> 00:37:42,023 Can I have three farthings for a lump of shit, please? 461 00:37:42,093 --> 00:37:43,082 I beg your pardon? 462 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:45,651 I said can I have three farthings for a lump of shit? 463 00:37:45,730 --> 00:37:46,958 No. 464 00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:50,727 Society's to blame. 465 00:37:53,337 --> 00:37:56,431 Harden your knives here. Sharpen your knives. 466 00:37:57,575 --> 00:37:59,270 Excuse me a moment. 467 00:38:00,044 --> 00:38:03,639 Look out! Press gang! Get out! Press gang. 468 00:38:05,049 --> 00:38:07,381 - Get him. Come on. - Catch him over there. 469 00:38:07,718 --> 00:38:09,049 Come on, get him! 470 00:38:11,489 --> 00:38:13,423 - That's the stuff. - Press gang? 471 00:38:13,591 --> 00:38:17,357 Yes, they persuade drunks and vagrants to become sailors. 472 00:38:17,895 --> 00:38:21,228 - What happens when they sober up? - They're at sea. 473 00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:24,325 Okay, get that one in there! Shove him in good, please. 474 00:38:24,902 --> 00:38:28,235 All right, good. He was a bit thin. Those ones over there, they look good. 475 00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:33,102 I say. 476 00:38:34,478 --> 00:38:37,106 I'll give you three farthings, young lady. 477 00:38:38,416 --> 00:38:40,941 There we are. Oopsy daisy. 478 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,546 A good big one will always beat a rotten little one. 479 00:38:50,728 --> 00:38:54,425 What's going on, hey? What do you think you're doing? 480 00:38:57,568 --> 00:38:59,798 Just borrowing your jacket, Bosun. 481 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:16,051 I say, sir. I just saw two naval gentlemen going the other way. 482 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:20,022 Where's Yellowbeard? Professor Anthrax. 483 00:39:20,091 --> 00:39:23,583 He can't be far. He'll find us. He needs that map. 484 00:39:23,661 --> 00:39:26,289 Well, I hope he finds us before they find him. 485 00:39:26,397 --> 00:39:28,490 And it's not long before we sail. 486 00:39:29,100 --> 00:39:32,729 Now, we know it's an island close to Jamaica, and we've got the map of it. 487 00:39:32,803 --> 00:39:37,069 But without him to tell us which island, we might as well go home. 488 00:39:39,610 --> 00:39:44,070 Now, I'm sure some of you gentlemen would like to volunteer... 489 00:39:44,248 --> 00:39:48,810 for a well-paid, well-fed adventure holiday... 490 00:39:49,553 --> 00:39:51,487 such as youths dream of... 491 00:39:51,555 --> 00:39:54,581 upon a modern, rat-free, leak-proof ship! 492 00:39:55,493 --> 00:39:59,429 Any volunteers just lie down on the ground with your eyes shut. 493 00:40:01,932 --> 00:40:04,093 Would you gentlemen be looking for a ship? 494 00:40:04,168 --> 00:40:05,396 - We... - Well, as a matter of fact... 495 00:40:05,469 --> 00:40:08,597 we're lucky enough already to have tickets for the... 496 00:40:21,585 --> 00:40:22,745 Load them on. 497 00:40:25,122 --> 00:40:26,714 Take them to the ship. 498 00:40:34,932 --> 00:40:38,197 - Come on, kick him out! Come on! - Oh, my God! 499 00:40:38,269 --> 00:40:40,362 He's thrown her in the water tub! 500 00:40:48,479 --> 00:40:51,209 - Take your hands off of me! - Shut up and move! 501 00:40:54,018 --> 00:40:56,509 I want these three shackled in the bilges. 502 00:40:57,354 --> 00:40:58,651 Move over! 503 00:41:00,257 --> 00:41:01,451 Come on, old man. 504 00:41:01,525 --> 00:41:05,017 There's no need. We can make our own way there. 505 00:41:07,465 --> 00:41:10,161 Sign here. I'll make your mark. 506 00:41:13,804 --> 00:41:16,705 - There's your shilling. - Thank you, sir! 507 00:41:18,909 --> 00:41:21,605 Don't do that. Don't do that ever again. 508 00:41:26,150 --> 00:41:29,984 - Get off, lad. - All right. Come on, move it. 509 00:41:30,054 --> 00:41:32,887 I never noticed that hook when he signed on. 510 00:41:33,057 --> 00:41:34,490 Nor did I, sir. 511 00:41:35,659 --> 00:41:39,755 - He's right-handed, sir. - Get rid of the others. 512 00:41:48,839 --> 00:41:50,033 Quiet! 513 00:41:59,149 --> 00:42:01,481 - Mr. Crisp. - Aye, sir! 514 00:42:02,386 --> 00:42:03,751 What is that? 515 00:42:04,288 --> 00:42:08,452 - That's my box, sir. - No, carrying your box. 516 00:42:09,527 --> 00:42:11,324 Cabin boy Smith, sir. 517 00:42:12,730 --> 00:42:16,325 - Smith has tits. - He's been a bit ill, sir. 518 00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:17,867 Get her off! 519 00:42:18,903 --> 00:42:19,892 Aye, sir. 520 00:42:23,140 --> 00:42:24,630 Wait a minute. 521 00:42:25,476 --> 00:42:26,841 What is that? 522 00:42:27,611 --> 00:42:30,910 It's a crocodile, sir. 523 00:42:31,549 --> 00:42:32,948 What's it for? 524 00:42:33,017 --> 00:42:35,884 Well, each sailor is... 525 00:42:35,953 --> 00:42:39,218 allowed, by tradition, a pet, sir. 526 00:42:39,390 --> 00:42:42,826 One pet per sailor, parrots preferred. 527 00:42:43,928 --> 00:42:48,388 Well, we like clubbed together, as it were, if you take my drift, sir. 528 00:42:48,465 --> 00:42:52,424 - That's bigger than three parrots. - Not if they're in cages, sir. 529 00:42:52,636 --> 00:42:53,967 Open it up. 530 00:42:56,073 --> 00:42:57,267 Open it up? 531 00:42:57,341 --> 00:43:00,242 Open it up! There are buttons down the side. 532 00:43:06,450 --> 00:43:10,386 The ancient superstition that a woman onboard brings bad luck... 533 00:43:10,454 --> 00:43:13,218 is now a proven scientific fact. 534 00:43:15,392 --> 00:43:17,053 Nice try, Rosie. 535 00:43:23,767 --> 00:43:27,294 Shouldn't bother, love. They're fairly strict on this one. 536 00:44:08,879 --> 00:44:10,676 Rattus vulgaris. 537 00:44:12,116 --> 00:44:14,277 - Yeah. - You know, I've been thinking. 538 00:44:14,351 --> 00:44:17,548 If we paid 300 guineas each for this cabin... 539 00:44:17,621 --> 00:44:20,112 I'm glad we didn't go for the cheaper ones. 540 00:44:20,824 --> 00:44:24,658 I'm sorry to interrupt your morning bath, gentlemen. 541 00:44:25,229 --> 00:44:27,288 On your knees! 542 00:44:27,531 --> 00:44:31,228 And crawl up here on the double! Up here on the double! 543 00:44:33,737 --> 00:44:38,333 - All hands present, Mr. Crisp, sir! - Thank you, Bosun! 544 00:44:39,376 --> 00:44:43,506 Deliver me, O Lord, from the evil man, preserve me from the violent man... 545 00:45:00,197 --> 00:45:02,358 My name is Captain Hughes. 546 00:45:03,333 --> 00:45:07,895 These are my officers, Lieutenant Martin, who is responsible for discipline... 547 00:45:08,639 --> 00:45:11,938 Lieutenant Crisp, who is responsible for discipline... 548 00:45:13,177 --> 00:45:16,203 Mr. Prostitute, who is responsible for... 549 00:45:18,182 --> 00:45:20,446 Nail that man's foot to the deck. 550 00:45:20,517 --> 00:45:21,882 - Aye, sir. - Discipline. 551 00:45:21,952 --> 00:45:25,820 No, I... It's all right. No. I was just joking. 552 00:45:25,889 --> 00:45:28,722 I was just having a... Here, hang on. Hey, wait a minute. 553 00:45:34,498 --> 00:45:37,763 Now, in fairness to all of you... 554 00:45:38,669 --> 00:45:41,365 I'm honor bound to ask this question. 555 00:45:42,706 --> 00:45:47,302 Is there anyone here who does not wish to be a member of Her Majesty's Navy? 556 00:45:49,513 --> 00:45:50,844 Me, sir. 557 00:45:57,621 --> 00:46:00,886 Is there anyone else who is reluctant to serve? 558 00:46:04,995 --> 00:46:05,984 Right. 559 00:46:06,864 --> 00:46:10,664 If, by chance, some of you may feel that the discipline on this ship... 560 00:46:10,734 --> 00:46:14,761 is a trifle on the harsh side of strict... 561 00:46:15,372 --> 00:46:19,468 let me remind you that it is our duty to seek out and destroy... 562 00:46:19,543 --> 00:46:21,135 Her Majesty's enemies... 563 00:46:21,211 --> 00:46:22,576 the foul... 564 00:46:22,646 --> 00:46:25,843 and most foreign French. 565 00:46:26,550 --> 00:46:27,778 - Here, here. - Now... 566 00:46:27,851 --> 00:46:31,617 while the rest of the world will eventually arrive at the same conclusion... 567 00:46:31,688 --> 00:46:34,282 it is our urgent task... 568 00:46:35,259 --> 00:46:38,194 to push things on a little. 569 00:46:38,729 --> 00:46:39,855 Amen. 570 00:46:43,967 --> 00:46:45,025 Next. 571 00:46:46,970 --> 00:46:50,098 Mr. Martin, Mr. Prostitute... 572 00:46:50,774 --> 00:46:52,207 luncheon duty. 573 00:47:05,055 --> 00:47:07,683 Right, Mr. Beamish, I'll see the prisoner now. 574 00:47:07,858 --> 00:47:09,018 Aye, aye, sir. 575 00:47:09,092 --> 00:47:10,753 Man the capstan. 576 00:47:18,235 --> 00:47:21,261 - Ready to talk yet, Mrs. Beard? - No! 577 00:47:21,738 --> 00:47:24,206 - Take her away, Mr. Beamish. - Aye, aye, sir. 578 00:47:24,274 --> 00:47:25,263 Down. 579 00:47:37,554 --> 00:47:40,546 Give them a taste of the lash before they've done anything. 580 00:47:40,624 --> 00:47:44,185 - Preventive punishment, that's the principle. - Yes, sir. 581 00:47:45,996 --> 00:47:48,464 That man yawned. Give him a swimming lesson. 582 00:47:48,532 --> 00:47:50,659 What, what? Hey! No. Come on, wait a minute! 583 00:47:50,734 --> 00:47:52,326 Wait a minute. No. Hey! 584 00:47:54,137 --> 00:47:55,126 Thanks. 585 00:47:56,106 --> 00:47:58,301 - Well done, sir. - Hold the line. 586 00:48:04,615 --> 00:48:05,912 Lovely day. 587 00:48:52,195 --> 00:48:54,026 No! No! 588 00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:55,064 No! 589 00:48:55,132 --> 00:48:56,326 Oh, no! 590 00:48:58,602 --> 00:49:00,194 Oh, no! 591 00:49:00,270 --> 00:49:02,568 Oh, what have we here? A laggard? 592 00:49:07,044 --> 00:49:10,605 Oh, it's so hard on a manicure, isn't it? 593 00:49:12,049 --> 00:49:13,778 Not to worry, lad. 594 00:49:13,850 --> 00:49:15,841 You'll get the hang of it. 595 00:49:24,328 --> 00:49:26,387 And third, Your Majesty... 596 00:49:27,564 --> 00:49:29,555 I'm very pleased to report... 597 00:49:30,233 --> 00:49:32,463 that after several very brave... 598 00:49:32,903 --> 00:49:35,667 and very expensive battles... 599 00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,499 the pirate Yellowbeard... 600 00:49:39,309 --> 00:49:41,800 is now well and truly... 601 00:49:42,079 --> 00:49:43,979 in our grasp. 602 00:49:48,585 --> 00:49:52,043 Sir, is that, strictly speaking, accurate, sir? 603 00:49:52,422 --> 00:49:56,449 Mansell, that's what we in the Royal Navy call a lie. 604 00:49:57,127 --> 00:49:59,425 A lie, sir? But that's treason, isn't it? 605 00:49:59,496 --> 00:50:00,986 - Be quiet. - Yes, sir. 606 00:50:01,064 --> 00:50:04,124 - Now get that off to Her Majesty right away. - Yes, sir. 607 00:50:08,038 --> 00:50:09,335 How, sir? 608 00:50:09,940 --> 00:50:11,737 By pigeon, Mansell. 609 00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:14,034 Pigeon, sir? 610 00:50:14,111 --> 00:50:17,603 Surely you didn't forget to bring the pigeon, Mansell? 611 00:50:31,194 --> 00:50:32,252 Come in. 612 00:50:37,134 --> 00:50:40,103 - I think she might be ready to talk now, sir. - Right. 613 00:50:41,805 --> 00:50:45,741 I seem to remember something about an island. 614 00:50:46,977 --> 00:50:51,676 It must have been that shark what jogged my memory. 615 00:50:52,549 --> 00:50:54,016 Jolly good, Ensign. 616 00:50:55,318 --> 00:50:57,377 - Thank you, sir. - Well done. 617 00:50:58,455 --> 00:51:00,821 Shall I meet you in the pump room, sir? 618 00:51:03,460 --> 00:51:04,984 Sit down, Mrs. Beard. 619 00:51:05,162 --> 00:51:06,959 Now, about this island. 620 00:51:08,098 --> 00:51:09,861 A little pigeon, perhaps? 621 00:51:10,634 --> 00:51:13,125 I've just ate some tuna, thank you. 622 00:51:19,476 --> 00:51:21,706 Where did I put that treasure? 623 00:51:21,978 --> 00:51:24,538 No, it's stagger. No, no, no. 624 00:51:25,549 --> 00:51:28,211 Get shot, then fall... 625 00:51:28,385 --> 00:51:30,114 then crawl, crawl... 626 00:51:30,187 --> 00:51:32,155 then stagger, stagger. 627 00:51:37,060 --> 00:51:39,585 Do you know that you have three paying passengers onboard... 628 00:51:39,663 --> 00:51:42,359 who are being treated as abominably as the rest of the crew? 629 00:51:42,432 --> 00:51:43,421 Really? 630 00:51:44,301 --> 00:51:48,328 I think once the Captain realizes who we are, we'll get an easier passage. 631 00:51:50,073 --> 00:51:51,563 Perfect. Let's go. 632 00:51:52,008 --> 00:51:55,000 Well, I can see there's only one thing you'll understand. 633 00:51:55,078 --> 00:51:57,478 And what, pray, might that be? 634 00:51:59,883 --> 00:52:02,283 Right! Let's finish it! 635 00:52:15,165 --> 00:52:18,794 - I'm so sorry, sir. - What for? 636 00:52:20,137 --> 00:52:21,729 Interrupting you, sir. 637 00:52:22,472 --> 00:52:24,497 I was only smoking a cigar. 638 00:52:25,242 --> 00:52:26,436 Yes, sir. 639 00:52:26,910 --> 00:52:31,244 I came to tell you that the son of Yellowbeard the pirate is onboard this ship. 640 00:52:31,314 --> 00:52:33,782 The son of Yellowbeard the pirate? 641 00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:38,246 Who's that? 642 00:52:40,056 --> 00:52:42,047 That was Mr. Crisp, sir. 643 00:52:42,859 --> 00:52:44,053 Mr. Crisp? 644 00:52:49,699 --> 00:52:53,396 Officers and men of The Lady Edith... 645 00:52:53,770 --> 00:52:58,264 these three people posing as pressees, are, in fact... 646 00:52:58,441 --> 00:53:00,170 foul stowaways. 647 00:53:00,577 --> 00:53:02,135 Stowaways? No! 648 00:53:02,212 --> 00:53:03,804 The perspicacity of Mr. Moon... 649 00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:08,544 has led to the discovery of a conspiracy against the Crown. 650 00:53:08,818 --> 00:53:11,719 There's no doubt in my mind that the one in the middle... 651 00:53:11,788 --> 00:53:15,224 is the son of the evil Yellowbeard. 652 00:53:15,325 --> 00:53:18,123 - Yellowbeard! - He has already dispatched... 653 00:53:18,461 --> 00:53:21,328 dear Mr. Crisp to the deep... 654 00:53:21,898 --> 00:53:24,799 clearly with the purpose of taking over this vessel. 655 00:53:25,936 --> 00:53:30,498 We shall deliver these traitors to the proper authorities. 656 00:53:31,408 --> 00:53:33,433 Set course for Portsmouth. 657 00:53:34,211 --> 00:53:36,372 You know what to do, Mr. Moon. 658 00:53:54,965 --> 00:53:56,159 Mutiny. 659 00:54:13,516 --> 00:54:16,815 Oh, dear, the Captain would appear to be out of sorts! 660 00:54:22,959 --> 00:54:26,895 We're gonna have to choose a new captain. Who shall it be? 661 00:54:27,330 --> 00:54:28,388 Me! 662 00:54:29,699 --> 00:54:33,032 - No. We want Dan! - Dan? 663 00:54:34,037 --> 00:54:35,334 Or the prostitute. 664 00:54:39,909 --> 00:54:41,638 Dan. 665 00:54:41,711 --> 00:54:43,406 Who? Who? Come on! 666 00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:45,914 - Dan! Dan! - Dan! 667 00:54:46,149 --> 00:54:47,548 - We want Dan! - Dan! 668 00:54:52,889 --> 00:54:54,481 It's unanimous, then. 669 00:54:55,258 --> 00:54:57,226 The ship's yours, Captain... 670 00:54:57,527 --> 00:54:59,620 to take where you will. 671 00:55:06,770 --> 00:55:08,294 That's it, that's it. 672 00:55:11,207 --> 00:55:14,665 I hope you don't mind us tying up the Captain like that, sir. 673 00:55:14,744 --> 00:55:16,211 No, not at all. 674 00:55:16,279 --> 00:55:18,679 Well, I was only following your lead. 675 00:55:18,948 --> 00:55:23,180 I mean, well, your killing Mr. Crisp was an example to us all. 676 00:55:23,687 --> 00:55:27,418 But I only hit him with a bucket, and then everything went blank. 677 00:55:27,924 --> 00:55:28,982 Oh, yeah. 678 00:55:29,159 --> 00:55:31,127 It's like that, killing. 679 00:55:33,530 --> 00:55:35,521 No hard feelings, Captain Hughes. 680 00:55:35,598 --> 00:55:38,158 Your consideration will be noted. 681 00:55:38,234 --> 00:55:41,601 Now, Bosun, set course for Madagascar. 682 00:55:45,675 --> 00:55:46,664 Yes. 683 00:55:47,644 --> 00:55:48,838 Right! 684 00:55:49,746 --> 00:55:52,010 You heard what the Captain said. 685 00:55:52,849 --> 00:55:55,716 - It's Madagascar. - Aye, aye, sir. 686 00:56:01,491 --> 00:56:03,584 Set a course for Portsmouth, Mr. Martin. 687 00:56:03,660 --> 00:56:04,786 Aye, aye, sir! 688 00:56:04,861 --> 00:56:07,193 East by northeast, Mr. Prostitute. 689 00:56:07,263 --> 00:56:08,730 Aye, aye, sir. 690 00:56:28,985 --> 00:56:33,183 All's well! 691 00:57:12,829 --> 00:57:16,993 - Ah... - S'well! 692 00:57:40,790 --> 00:57:43,850 We went 10 degrees west off course overnight. 693 00:57:44,327 --> 00:57:46,090 Did you notice that, Mr. Moon? 694 00:57:46,162 --> 00:57:47,789 Indeed I did, sir. 695 00:57:48,364 --> 00:57:51,959 Our captain didn't bump the helmsman off last night, did he? 696 00:57:52,035 --> 00:57:55,232 No. Didn't leave his cabin, Mr. Moon. 697 00:57:56,105 --> 00:57:58,630 - Did you order a change of course? - No. 698 00:58:02,512 --> 00:58:05,504 I think someone knows where the island is. 699 00:58:07,350 --> 00:58:10,012 See? They're leading us right to it. 700 00:58:16,559 --> 00:58:19,357 Come on, Mrs. Beard. We've been at this all day. 701 00:58:20,597 --> 00:58:22,861 No. No. 702 00:58:23,733 --> 00:58:25,997 That still doesn't look right. 703 00:58:26,469 --> 00:58:30,064 I don't think you're being as helpful as you promised, Mrs. Beard. 704 00:58:30,173 --> 00:58:32,004 I'm doing my best. 705 00:58:32,976 --> 00:58:35,604 Perhaps a little more shark treatment? 706 00:58:39,749 --> 00:58:42,980 Nothing in sight, sir. Absolutely nothing at all. 707 00:58:43,152 --> 00:58:44,380 Nothing, sir! 708 00:58:44,721 --> 00:58:47,087 Talk about clear horizons, this is it. 709 00:58:47,590 --> 00:58:50,684 We've been at sea for weeks without sighting anything, let alone The Edith. 710 00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:52,421 Ship ahoy! 711 00:58:56,332 --> 00:58:58,493 Look lively, lads. Look lively. 712 00:59:03,606 --> 00:59:05,870 There you are, sir. Nothing again. 713 00:59:06,309 --> 00:59:07,901 Nothing whatsoever. 714 00:59:12,782 --> 00:59:14,272 Behind you, Mansell. 715 00:59:14,350 --> 00:59:15,840 I know you are, sir. 716 00:59:16,085 --> 00:59:17,916 There's a ship behind you. 717 00:59:20,156 --> 00:59:22,351 Good lord, sir! It's The Edith! 718 00:59:22,926 --> 00:59:23,915 Sir? 719 00:59:30,300 --> 00:59:32,427 Of course it's The Edith, Mansell. 720 00:59:33,036 --> 00:59:34,196 But, sir... 721 00:59:35,505 --> 00:59:38,531 it is behind us, and we're supposed to be following it, sir. 722 00:59:38,608 --> 00:59:40,542 Well, how can we be, sir? 723 00:59:46,015 --> 00:59:48,540 - Strike the colors, Mr. Beamish. - Strike the colors, Mr. Beamish. 724 00:59:48,618 --> 00:59:50,483 - Hoist the French flag. - Hoist the French flag. 725 00:59:50,553 --> 00:59:52,418 - Hard about. - Hard about. 726 00:59:52,822 --> 00:59:54,449 They mustn't know we're after them, Mansell. 727 00:59:54,524 --> 00:59:56,583 If we can convince them we're French, they'll avoid us. 728 00:59:56,659 --> 00:59:59,787 Perhaps then we can return to following them discreetly. 729 01:00:01,698 --> 01:00:03,131 What sort of ship is it? 730 01:00:03,199 --> 01:00:04,826 Some kind of frigate. 731 01:00:06,302 --> 01:00:09,567 We wouldn't have come across it, if we had kept our course. 732 01:00:10,173 --> 01:00:11,765 No, no. We wouldn't. 733 01:00:15,144 --> 01:00:18,545 There's a flag. They're French, and they're rounding on us! 734 01:00:18,648 --> 01:00:20,206 Stand by to fire. 735 01:00:20,283 --> 01:00:21,580 Oh, dear. 736 01:00:22,085 --> 01:00:23,746 Stand by to hide. 737 01:00:26,856 --> 01:00:30,417 All right, Mansell, so we'll just sail quietly past, all right? 738 01:00:30,493 --> 01:00:31,482 Aye, aye, sir. 739 01:00:31,561 --> 01:00:34,029 Ready? Fire! 740 01:00:42,472 --> 01:00:45,100 - Are you all right, Mansell? - Yes, thank you, sir. 741 01:00:45,174 --> 01:00:46,368 Shit. 742 01:00:46,442 --> 01:00:48,137 What do the fools think they're doing? 743 01:00:48,211 --> 01:00:51,374 We outgun them. We outman them. We're much faster than they are. 744 01:00:51,447 --> 01:00:54,280 I think it might have something to do with the French flag we're flying, sir. 745 01:00:54,350 --> 01:00:58,252 All right, then to avoid suspicion, we better appear to retaliate. 746 01:00:58,321 --> 01:01:00,414 We'll fire a bit and miss a lot. 747 01:01:00,657 --> 01:01:01,646 Fire! 748 01:01:08,431 --> 01:01:10,262 Lower the guns! 749 01:01:12,035 --> 01:01:13,593 Fire! 750 01:01:16,072 --> 01:01:17,596 Raise the guns! 751 01:01:17,707 --> 01:01:20,107 Fire! 752 01:01:42,465 --> 01:01:44,399 More sail! 753 01:01:44,634 --> 01:01:45,999 More sail! 754 01:01:54,343 --> 01:01:57,176 - Clear the debris! - Clear the debris! 755 01:01:57,246 --> 01:02:00,113 - Carpenters to action! - Carpenters to action! 756 01:02:00,183 --> 01:02:02,743 Jettison some ballast, Mr. McKenzie. 757 01:02:02,885 --> 01:02:06,116 We must sail as fast as we can without our sail. 758 01:02:08,558 --> 01:02:09,855 Well done, lad! 759 01:02:09,926 --> 01:02:11,826 This calls for a celebration. 760 01:02:11,994 --> 01:02:14,019 Well done, Captain. 761 01:02:14,731 --> 01:02:15,720 Oh, yes. 762 01:02:15,998 --> 01:02:18,626 No disrespect intended, Your Lordship. 763 01:02:57,373 --> 01:03:00,740 Straight back, head up and thrust. 764 01:03:01,410 --> 01:03:02,877 Well done, Son. 765 01:03:02,945 --> 01:03:06,711 - Straight back, head up and thrust. - Captain. 766 01:03:16,592 --> 01:03:18,287 Get out, you coward. 767 01:03:25,334 --> 01:03:27,598 - Ebenezer. - Yes, Percy? 768 01:03:28,137 --> 01:03:30,867 - I've been thinking. - Oh, yes? 769 01:03:30,940 --> 01:03:33,636 Can brandy make you see things? 770 01:03:34,811 --> 01:03:38,303 - If you drink enough of it. - Oh, that explains it. 771 01:03:38,948 --> 01:03:42,850 - That island I thought I saw. - Island? 772 01:03:44,787 --> 01:03:46,778 - It is an island. - Of course. 773 01:03:46,889 --> 01:03:48,186 It's beautiful. 774 01:04:01,604 --> 01:04:04,471 - Prepare the longboat, Mr. Tarbuck. - Aye, aye, sir. 775 01:04:05,908 --> 01:04:09,173 Now, men, a group of us are going to put ashore here for provisions. 776 01:04:09,245 --> 01:04:13,011 Provisions. Oh, yes. Of course, sir. 777 01:04:16,552 --> 01:04:20,921 Could be a mirage. Looks rather like a mirage I once saw. 778 01:04:20,990 --> 01:04:22,116 If I saw it. 779 01:04:22,191 --> 01:04:24,250 Is it anything like the map on my head? 780 01:04:24,327 --> 01:04:26,386 This is the island. 781 01:05:12,708 --> 01:05:16,769 I gladly moisten your foot with my nostrils, Your Barbarity. 782 01:05:20,283 --> 01:05:23,377 I have something very nice to show you. 783 01:05:23,452 --> 01:05:24,680 Excellent. 784 01:05:39,902 --> 01:05:41,836 So, explain to me, Se�or Verdugo... 785 01:05:41,904 --> 01:05:45,465 the intricacies of this most holy instrument of confession. 786 01:05:46,242 --> 01:05:48,642 Triola, I don't think you should see this, my daughter. 787 01:05:48,711 --> 01:05:52,203 - It's only another torture machine. - I want it to be a surprise for you. 788 01:05:52,281 --> 01:05:54,841 - Later, my sweet. - All right, Daddy. 789 01:05:55,484 --> 01:05:57,918 - So, my new confessional. - Yes, of course. 790 01:05:57,987 --> 01:06:02,481 But first, Your Severity, you will notice that the instrument... 791 01:06:02,558 --> 01:06:06,289 is completely surrounded by this pool of acid... 792 01:06:06,362 --> 01:06:09,661 which will destroy anything thrown into it... 793 01:06:09,732 --> 01:06:13,133 except gold and precious stones. 794 01:06:13,302 --> 01:06:16,328 But flesh and bone and iron... 795 01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:18,737 Observe. 796 01:06:26,415 --> 01:06:27,575 Voil�! 797 01:06:30,619 --> 01:06:32,849 And it doesn't dissolve gold, you say? 798 01:06:32,922 --> 01:06:37,018 No. Not, of course. Of course not, Your Vapidity. 799 01:06:37,093 --> 01:06:41,553 Even if they have swallowed their valuables, Your Severity... 800 01:06:41,998 --> 01:06:46,332 there would be no need for those messy searches that we used to have. 801 01:06:46,402 --> 01:06:48,097 Unless we want one. 802 01:06:48,170 --> 01:06:50,434 Of course, Your Outrageousness. 803 01:06:57,680 --> 01:06:59,648 So this is my new confessional? 804 01:06:59,715 --> 01:07:03,947 Yes, it is. It works this way, Your Ferocity. If you will, please. 805 01:07:04,854 --> 01:07:06,412 The prisoner... 806 01:07:06,956 --> 01:07:08,821 is totally restrained... 807 01:07:09,091 --> 01:07:11,992 by means of this iron banding. 808 01:07:12,161 --> 01:07:13,992 Excellent. Excellent. 809 01:07:14,697 --> 01:07:18,861 But there is more to it than that, Your Blizzard of the Wrong. 810 01:07:18,968 --> 01:07:22,131 By means of these ratchets and these screws... 811 01:07:22,204 --> 01:07:25,662 you can place his body in any position that you want... 812 01:07:25,741 --> 01:07:29,905 for as long as you want and do anything to it that you want. 813 01:07:30,613 --> 01:07:34,014 You can break every bone in his hand... 814 01:07:34,083 --> 01:07:36,051 one at a time. 815 01:07:36,118 --> 01:07:37,813 - And feet? - And the feet. 816 01:07:38,621 --> 01:07:39,986 I love it. 817 01:07:40,056 --> 01:07:42,024 - And the back? - And the back. 818 01:07:42,091 --> 01:07:46,050 - And slowly crush them and break them? - Oh, yes. 819 01:07:46,629 --> 01:07:49,894 It is very effective, Your Acute Horrendousness. 820 01:07:50,266 --> 01:07:53,633 People will be even more frightened of me when they hear I have this. 821 01:07:53,702 --> 01:07:57,365 Oh, yes, definitely, Your Blind Stupidity. 822 01:07:59,442 --> 01:08:01,433 Even you, Se�or Verdugo? 823 01:08:02,845 --> 01:08:04,972 Well, of course not me. 824 01:08:05,047 --> 01:08:09,177 I mean, after all, I made it. I designed it. It's my baby. 825 01:08:09,819 --> 01:08:11,810 Well, let's see if it works. 826 01:08:14,957 --> 01:08:18,620 If it does not work, I shall dispatch you with heavenly force. 827 01:08:30,906 --> 01:08:34,398 Well, we could all do with some good food and clean water. 828 01:08:34,477 --> 01:08:37,378 - Mr. Moon, prepare a hunting party. - Aye, aye, sir. 829 01:08:38,247 --> 01:08:40,147 Why don't you go ahead and forage... 830 01:08:40,216 --> 01:08:44,084 and me and a few of the lads'll stay behind and guard the boat? 831 01:08:44,587 --> 01:08:46,214 Very good, Mr. Moon. 832 01:08:56,398 --> 01:09:00,562 There's a beach like this, which ought to be on the other side of the island. 833 01:09:01,904 --> 01:09:04,771 We'll cover more ground if we separate. 834 01:09:05,608 --> 01:09:09,044 We'll have every gun on that ship ready for them when they return. 835 01:09:09,745 --> 01:09:11,269 Bosun Gilbert. 836 01:09:12,715 --> 01:09:15,616 Aye, aye, Captain Moon. 837 01:10:59,488 --> 01:11:01,149 Bloody murderers. 838 01:11:17,273 --> 01:11:18,968 Unhand me, you heathens. 839 01:11:25,648 --> 01:11:26,637 Percy... 840 01:11:26,849 --> 01:11:30,376 I think I found the tree that that paralyzing liquid comes from. 841 01:11:30,452 --> 01:11:33,444 Just stab some under the skin and... 842 01:11:34,390 --> 01:11:36,187 You do what? 843 01:11:36,792 --> 01:11:38,259 Stab some... 844 01:11:39,161 --> 01:11:40,594 Oh, that. 845 01:11:48,771 --> 01:11:50,636 They've captured Dan. 846 01:11:50,739 --> 01:11:52,434 Ebenezer, look. 847 01:11:53,008 --> 01:11:53,997 Who? 848 01:11:54,076 --> 01:11:56,567 Shall we send for reinforcements... 849 01:11:56,645 --> 01:11:58,613 or capture them now? 850 01:12:03,118 --> 01:12:04,380 Wait a minute. 851 01:12:05,220 --> 01:12:06,710 What's that? 852 01:12:13,595 --> 01:12:14,857 Good Lord. 853 01:12:15,230 --> 01:12:16,822 How did he get here? 854 01:12:16,932 --> 01:12:18,661 There's our reinforcement. 855 01:12:28,444 --> 01:12:31,641 Seems to have taken a mild dislike to the priests. 856 01:12:59,308 --> 01:13:03,005 Come on, men. Let's rescue Captain Dan. 857 01:13:03,712 --> 01:13:05,145 Not likely, mate. 858 01:13:05,214 --> 01:13:06,545 And the treasure. 859 01:13:06,615 --> 01:13:09,379 - Right you are, mate. - Be right with you. 860 01:13:11,253 --> 01:13:13,483 - No, no, I can't. Leave me alone. - Come on, come on, please. 861 01:13:13,555 --> 01:13:15,386 He'll come back. He'll kill you. You see? 862 01:13:16,225 --> 01:13:17,886 Your Assholiness. 863 01:13:22,865 --> 01:13:24,594 Greetings, Your Vehemence. 864 01:13:27,002 --> 01:13:28,264 Mission accomplished. 865 01:13:28,337 --> 01:13:30,703 By the grace of God and heavenly force... 866 01:13:30,773 --> 01:13:33,708 five heathen souls have attained eternal serenity. 867 01:13:34,743 --> 01:13:36,301 Only five? 868 01:13:37,479 --> 01:13:39,174 Was there any money? 869 01:13:39,248 --> 01:13:41,682 On the paltry side, Your Barbarity. 870 01:13:43,252 --> 01:13:46,813 So your mission was as so much fart gas. 871 01:13:47,756 --> 01:13:49,417 Oh, no, Your Offensiveness. 872 01:13:49,491 --> 01:13:52,255 The ship that they came on was after Yellowbeard's treasure. 873 01:13:52,327 --> 01:13:53,658 Yellowbeard? 874 01:13:53,729 --> 01:13:55,321 Oh, no, no. He is not here. 875 01:13:55,397 --> 01:13:57,490 Just the men who came looking for his treasure. 876 01:13:57,566 --> 01:14:00,296 This is one of their officers, Your Molestation. 877 01:14:00,969 --> 01:14:02,800 The treasure of Yellowbeard. 878 01:14:02,871 --> 01:14:04,668 Now I am the richest... 879 01:14:05,941 --> 01:14:08,239 You must find out everything he knows. 880 01:14:08,343 --> 01:14:10,174 I have just the thing. 881 01:14:26,295 --> 01:14:28,160 Oh, my head. 882 01:14:28,497 --> 01:14:31,295 And my foot and my back. 883 01:14:31,366 --> 01:14:32,799 Mon Dieu, it works. 884 01:14:32,901 --> 01:14:35,426 You may torture me, but it will avail you nothing. 885 01:14:35,504 --> 01:14:37,870 We'll see about that, sailor. 886 01:14:55,924 --> 01:15:00,588 Captain Moon, sir, they've captured Dan, and they're setting a trap for the others. 887 01:15:00,863 --> 01:15:02,160 Excellent. 888 01:15:02,564 --> 01:15:06,364 They're making it easy for us. Well done, Gilbert. 889 01:15:23,151 --> 01:15:25,051 Is it too cold for you? 890 01:15:25,754 --> 01:15:27,381 No, I'm all right. 891 01:15:28,190 --> 01:15:32,251 You must tell my father where the treasure is, or you will surely die. 892 01:15:32,461 --> 01:15:33,723 I'll tell him nothing. 893 01:15:33,795 --> 01:15:36,923 But he only wants it for the grace and glory of God. 894 01:15:36,999 --> 01:15:40,230 What kind of God is it that kills and tortures men? 895 01:15:40,302 --> 01:15:42,736 My father's only purpose is to enable heathen souls... 896 01:15:42,804 --> 01:15:46,365 to enter heaven more rapidly than they would of their own accord. 897 01:15:46,875 --> 01:15:48,399 Please tell him. 898 01:15:48,944 --> 01:15:50,741 It hurts me to see you hurt. 899 01:15:50,812 --> 01:15:54,248 It hurts me to see you be hurt by me being hurt. 900 01:15:55,584 --> 01:15:57,176 I think I love you. 901 01:15:57,252 --> 01:15:58,776 You're right, you do. 902 01:15:58,854 --> 01:16:00,412 And I love you. 903 01:16:00,889 --> 01:16:03,983 And when I am rescued, I want you to come with me. 904 01:16:04,226 --> 01:16:06,990 But to come with you would mean leaving here. 905 01:16:08,363 --> 01:16:10,923 - Are you taking the treasure? - That's right. 906 01:16:13,135 --> 01:16:15,433 Triola, you realize your father may be killed? 907 01:16:15,504 --> 01:16:18,564 Oh, Daddy won't mind. He's a bit odd about things like that. 908 01:16:18,640 --> 01:16:20,437 I must pack my things. 909 01:16:37,092 --> 01:16:39,287 Excuse me, Your Monstrosity. 910 01:16:39,795 --> 01:16:42,491 Our prisoner here must be very importante. 911 01:16:42,798 --> 01:16:46,063 There seems to be quite a little army gathering down there. 912 01:16:47,502 --> 01:16:50,403 - Could it be their leader? - No. 913 01:16:50,906 --> 01:16:53,670 But there is a man of very high rank giving orders. 914 01:16:53,742 --> 01:16:56,142 He would know where the treasure is. 915 01:16:56,278 --> 01:16:58,473 He is the one we must capture. 916 01:16:59,715 --> 01:17:02,650 That would be very difficult, O Berserk One. 917 01:17:02,718 --> 01:17:06,381 He would be the last in the attack and the first to escape. 918 01:17:06,888 --> 01:17:08,788 Typical leader for you. 919 01:17:09,825 --> 01:17:11,315 What did you say? 920 01:17:11,393 --> 01:17:14,385 I said, except for you, O Mindless Slaughterer. 921 01:17:19,434 --> 01:17:21,561 That's the answer. Yeah. 922 01:17:23,372 --> 01:17:27,604 We will lure their leader to the front by allowing their attack to succeed. 923 01:17:27,943 --> 01:17:28,932 Yes. 924 01:17:29,044 --> 01:17:33,606 We will pretend to resist and fake injury and death when they attack. 925 01:17:35,917 --> 01:17:39,250 Excuse me, why are you banging your head like that? 926 01:17:41,289 --> 01:17:43,120 - Was I? - Yes, you was. 927 01:17:43,859 --> 01:17:46,157 We all seen you, you silly man. 928 01:17:46,328 --> 01:17:47,659 Excuse me. 929 01:17:47,729 --> 01:17:52,723 Yes, and when the invaders reach the throne room, my men will rise up... 930 01:17:53,235 --> 01:17:56,762 and dispatch all with majestic heavenly force. 931 01:17:58,106 --> 01:18:00,631 Magnificent strategy, Your Arrogance. 932 01:18:00,909 --> 01:18:03,104 But it must look realistic. 933 01:18:03,311 --> 01:18:05,404 Anyone caught overacting... 934 01:18:06,014 --> 01:18:08,482 I will personally scare to death. 935 01:18:10,152 --> 01:18:12,552 - Alms for the poor. - Social parasite. 936 01:18:13,155 --> 01:18:14,247 Take the donkey. 937 01:18:14,322 --> 01:18:15,914 - My bowl. Where is my bowl? - Come on, burro! 938 01:18:19,695 --> 01:18:21,128 Hold on, men. 939 01:18:22,664 --> 01:18:23,926 This way. 940 01:18:25,233 --> 01:18:27,064 Welcome to our trap. 941 01:18:31,773 --> 01:18:33,331 Come on, Ebenezer. 942 01:18:36,111 --> 01:18:39,376 Now everyone wait for my signal. Oh, except you. 943 01:19:15,117 --> 01:19:16,744 That is pathetic! 944 01:19:21,556 --> 01:19:23,683 - What? - What about this, sir? 945 01:19:27,095 --> 01:19:29,495 Go back to your position. Go on! 946 01:19:31,900 --> 01:19:33,527 So far, so good. 947 01:19:34,903 --> 01:19:36,234 This way, men. 948 01:19:55,690 --> 01:19:57,590 Vasquez, don't overdo it. 949 01:20:01,663 --> 01:20:04,291 - Alms for the poor. - On guard. 950 01:20:06,301 --> 01:20:07,598 And you. 951 01:20:10,172 --> 01:20:11,400 Jolly good. 952 01:20:12,974 --> 01:20:14,373 Touch�. 953 01:20:25,554 --> 01:20:26,851 Good shot. 954 01:20:34,629 --> 01:20:36,256 Look at this, sir. 955 01:20:42,771 --> 01:20:44,329 This is terrible! 956 01:20:45,273 --> 01:20:48,208 I will have no more bad acting! 957 01:21:16,705 --> 01:21:18,696 - That was great. Bravo. - Cool. 958 01:21:18,773 --> 01:21:20,365 Bravo. 959 01:21:24,946 --> 01:21:26,880 What do you make of it? 960 01:21:32,187 --> 01:21:34,212 Dead. Entirely. 961 01:21:38,860 --> 01:21:40,418 Release that man. 962 01:21:41,229 --> 01:21:43,697 You have fallen for one of my least likely plans. 963 01:21:46,635 --> 01:21:49,160 Stand up, men. Come on, you guys. 964 01:21:49,237 --> 01:21:52,001 - Up. Up. - I administered a drop of this to them all... 965 01:21:52,073 --> 01:21:54,007 just as a precaution. 966 01:21:54,709 --> 01:21:58,702 Well, then, you give me no choice. I shall have to... I shall have to... 967 01:21:58,780 --> 01:22:00,008 give up completely. 968 01:22:00,081 --> 01:22:02,549 Sorry about that. Sorry, sorry, everyone. 969 01:22:02,651 --> 01:22:05,279 I'll go free your friend, then, shall I? 970 01:22:09,991 --> 01:22:13,722 I'm much too fiendish for the likes of you white-faced persons. 971 01:22:13,795 --> 01:22:16,889 Your friend, who you value so highly, is in my power. 972 01:22:16,965 --> 01:22:19,399 - Well, what sort of power? - What? 973 01:22:19,467 --> 01:22:22,402 Well, what sort of power do you have? 974 01:22:22,470 --> 01:22:24,995 My divine right to command over life and death. 975 01:22:25,073 --> 01:22:28,133 - That sort of power. - That sort of power, yes. 976 01:22:28,209 --> 01:22:31,645 I thought perhaps you meant mechanical energy. 977 01:22:31,746 --> 01:22:34,977 As ruler, my supremacy is absolute on this island. 978 01:22:35,483 --> 01:22:38,179 I thought this was an atoll. 979 01:22:38,253 --> 01:22:41,552 - Not at all. Not an atoll. - No, not an atoll? Oh, no. What is it, then? 980 01:22:41,623 --> 01:22:44,114 - This is an isthmus. - Isthmus. 981 01:22:44,192 --> 01:22:46,922 Silence and obey, or I shall kill your captain. 982 01:22:49,130 --> 01:22:50,461 Yellowbeard. 983 01:22:55,070 --> 01:22:56,628 Father, we thought you were dead. 984 01:22:56,705 --> 01:23:00,072 Us Yellowbeards are never more dangerous than when we're dead. 985 01:23:00,141 --> 01:23:02,371 How you getting on pirating? 986 01:23:02,811 --> 01:23:05,803 - Well... - How many men have you killed so far? 987 01:23:05,947 --> 01:23:07,972 One. Two, I think. 988 01:23:08,049 --> 01:23:11,541 You think? You'll never kill anyone if you go around thinking. 989 01:23:13,254 --> 01:23:14,482 Triola. 990 01:23:16,024 --> 01:23:17,719 I don't think you've met my father. 991 01:23:17,792 --> 01:23:21,125 Been out raping, lad? Nice work, lad. 992 01:23:21,863 --> 01:23:23,228 No, I haven't raped her. 993 01:23:23,298 --> 01:23:25,357 No, you wouldn't have, you poncey little git. 994 01:23:25,433 --> 01:23:28,368 You're not the prawn of my loins. Your mother's a bloody liar. 995 01:23:28,436 --> 01:23:29,869 That's what I liked about her. 996 01:23:29,938 --> 01:23:33,339 She couldn't be your mother. No woman ever slept with me and lived. 997 01:23:33,408 --> 01:23:35,876 - What's happened to Daddy? - I killed him. 998 01:23:36,177 --> 01:23:37,667 He's gone to heaven. 999 01:23:37,746 --> 01:23:40,943 Oh, that's nice. He sent all his friends there. 1000 01:23:41,016 --> 01:23:42,779 She's yours, is she then, Dan? 1001 01:23:42,851 --> 01:23:45,479 Let me have a bit of a prod at her first. 1002 01:23:45,553 --> 01:23:47,714 - Father! - Captain Dan! 1003 01:23:47,956 --> 01:23:49,924 Captain Dan. It's Mr... 1004 01:23:53,361 --> 01:23:55,386 - Who? - It's... 1005 01:23:56,965 --> 01:23:59,399 It's Mr. Moon. 1006 01:23:59,968 --> 01:24:02,402 Moon? That shithead Moon? 1007 01:24:02,470 --> 01:24:04,802 It's time I got rid of him. 1008 01:24:04,873 --> 01:24:07,205 Dad, stop. Look, we'll all fight Mr. Moon. 1009 01:24:07,275 --> 01:24:10,142 Oh, good. Another battle. Well done, Son. 1010 01:24:10,678 --> 01:24:11,838 Dan. 1011 01:24:17,018 --> 01:24:20,317 Come on, men. Let's go get our treasure. 1012 01:24:29,664 --> 01:24:31,097 So long, mate. 1013 01:24:31,433 --> 01:24:34,698 Don't worry. I'll spend your share. 1014 01:24:34,769 --> 01:24:39,069 - No, you won't, Mr. Moon. - It's little Captain Dan, huh? 1015 01:24:40,341 --> 01:24:41,365 Yellowbeard! 1016 01:24:41,443 --> 01:24:44,071 Moon, you bastard, what betrayed me. 1017 01:24:46,848 --> 01:24:51,148 I'm gonna make you eat both your own buttocks. 1018 01:24:54,556 --> 01:24:58,549 I've got a score to settle with you, Captain Yellowbeard. 1019 01:25:09,437 --> 01:25:10,665 Good girl. 1020 01:25:24,986 --> 01:25:27,420 Hold your throat on this sword. 1021 01:25:36,197 --> 01:25:38,097 He's all yours, lad. 1022 01:26:18,039 --> 01:26:19,529 Dan, watch out. 1023 01:26:49,270 --> 01:26:50,567 Get going! 1024 01:26:51,773 --> 01:26:54,071 Great shot, young lady. 1025 01:27:00,348 --> 01:27:01,872 Later, Triola. I must find my father. 1026 01:27:01,950 --> 01:27:05,283 You mean Yellowbeard? He went that way. 1027 01:27:08,790 --> 01:27:10,553 Well, Commander Clement... 1028 01:27:10,658 --> 01:27:14,754 I had high hopes you would consider sharing. 1029 01:27:14,862 --> 01:27:17,592 Just lead me to Yellowbeard's treasure, Mrs. Beard. 1030 01:27:17,665 --> 01:27:19,394 - That's all I want. - Right. 1031 01:27:19,901 --> 01:27:22,495 Well, as I recall... 1032 01:27:23,538 --> 01:27:25,733 it should be in that direction. 1033 01:27:25,807 --> 01:27:29,538 Let's see, that's stagger, stagger, crawl, crawl... 1034 01:27:30,612 --> 01:27:34,378 No, that's crawl, crawl. Right. 1035 01:27:37,385 --> 01:27:38,750 Crawl, sir? 1036 01:27:39,687 --> 01:27:41,086 Come on, men. 1037 01:27:41,889 --> 01:27:44,380 Right, right. 1038 01:27:47,929 --> 01:27:51,729 Stagger, stagger, right and jump. 1039 01:27:51,799 --> 01:27:53,630 - And stagger. - Jump. 1040 01:27:53,701 --> 01:27:57,694 - Stagger, stagger, jump. - Jump. Wait for me, sir. 1041 01:27:58,373 --> 01:28:01,035 It's quite good exercise this, really, isn't it? 1042 01:28:01,109 --> 01:28:04,601 Get shot, stagger, stagger, stagger... 1043 01:28:05,780 --> 01:28:07,247 roll... 1044 01:28:07,315 --> 01:28:12,150 stagger, stagger, stagger a little bit, then... 1045 01:28:13,121 --> 01:28:16,579 stagger, stagger, crawl, stagger... 1046 01:28:16,658 --> 01:28:19,354 stagger, stagger, roll... 1047 01:28:21,462 --> 01:28:23,987 and crawl, crawl, crawl... 1048 01:28:24,632 --> 01:28:27,897 - stagger, stagger, stagger... - Father, are you all right? 1049 01:28:27,969 --> 01:28:31,405 ...stagger, stagger, stagger... - Father? 1050 01:28:33,141 --> 01:28:36,110 You made me forget where I was, you stupid little sod. 1051 01:28:36,177 --> 01:28:37,610 - What were you doing? - Shut up! 1052 01:28:37,679 --> 01:28:40,375 Did I just say stagger or was it crawl? 1053 01:28:40,448 --> 01:28:42,143 - I don't know. - It was crawl. 1054 01:28:42,216 --> 01:28:45,049 But was it crawl to the right, crawl to the left... 1055 01:28:45,119 --> 01:28:49,488 or crawl, crawl, then to the right, then stagger? Or was it... 1056 01:28:49,557 --> 01:28:51,286 Oh, bugger me, you've sodded the whole thing up... 1057 01:28:51,359 --> 01:28:53,259 like the stupid little twerp that you are. 1058 01:28:53,328 --> 01:28:56,820 I was recreating what happened to me 20 years ago, man and boy. 1059 01:28:56,898 --> 01:28:58,229 Why didn't you stay with us? 1060 01:28:58,299 --> 01:29:01,097 - Because I wanted to betray you. - But why? 1061 01:29:01,202 --> 01:29:03,762 I had to. Betraying's all part of pirating. 1062 01:29:03,838 --> 01:29:06,272 If you don't know that, you're not even close to being a pirate. 1063 01:29:06,341 --> 01:29:08,832 - Prawn of my loins, my foot. - What? 1064 01:29:09,344 --> 01:29:11,278 You're either born a pirate or not. 1065 01:29:11,346 --> 01:29:15,180 It's in the blood, Dan, and it's not in your blood, or you'd have betrayed me long ago. 1066 01:29:15,249 --> 01:29:18,309 All right, I may not be a pirate, but at least I've got a brain in my head... 1067 01:29:18,386 --> 01:29:20,081 so why don't we just follow the instructions? 1068 01:29:20,154 --> 01:29:21,314 Right. 1069 01:29:26,227 --> 01:29:27,251 Right. 1070 01:29:27,628 --> 01:29:32,361 Six paces north, left at the rock, then four paces west. 1071 01:29:33,835 --> 01:29:35,427 Right, come on, lad. 1072 01:29:35,503 --> 01:29:38,870 Give us a hand. Stride, stride, stagger left... 1073 01:29:38,973 --> 01:29:41,498 stride, stride, then dig. 1074 01:29:42,510 --> 01:29:45,206 Go on, make yourself useful, lad. 1075 01:29:46,514 --> 01:29:48,778 You know, the way you was fighting back there... 1076 01:29:48,850 --> 01:29:51,318 there may be some pirate blood in you, after all. 1077 01:29:51,386 --> 01:29:54,651 Well, I did have a hand in forcing Mr. Moon into the acid. 1078 01:29:54,956 --> 01:29:59,017 With your head on my shoulders, we can wreck civilization. 1079 01:30:01,662 --> 01:30:04,358 - And stagger and jump and jump... - Keep hopping. 1080 01:30:04,432 --> 01:30:06,093 ...and stagger and stagger and jump. 1081 01:30:08,136 --> 01:30:11,697 Go on, Dan, use your dagger. 1082 01:30:16,444 --> 01:30:19,675 - Look at it all. - Hip, hip, hooray! 1083 01:30:20,348 --> 01:30:23,647 - Triola, we're rich. - Come on, Dan. 1084 01:30:25,052 --> 01:30:26,986 Congratulations, Father. 1085 01:30:28,923 --> 01:30:30,914 But I didn't... 1086 01:30:31,526 --> 01:30:34,518 - You are a Yellowbeard. - What? 1087 01:30:36,931 --> 01:30:41,061 Killing your father as I killed my father before me. 1088 01:30:42,737 --> 01:30:45,205 - Dad, the blood. - Blood. 1089 01:30:47,608 --> 01:30:49,633 That's what I like to hear. 1090 01:30:50,378 --> 01:30:52,369 You are my son. 1091 01:31:00,121 --> 01:31:02,180 Halt, in the name of the law! 1092 01:31:03,958 --> 01:31:06,984 Well done there, lad. Got him at last. 1093 01:31:07,361 --> 01:31:09,158 All right, men. Keep your guns on him. 1094 01:31:09,230 --> 01:31:13,599 Hello, Dan. Hello, lambchop. Wonderful to see you. 1095 01:31:13,835 --> 01:31:15,462 Pity about your dad. 1096 01:31:15,536 --> 01:31:19,131 On the other hand, it is the way what he said he always wanted to go. 1097 01:31:19,207 --> 01:31:20,538 Horribly. 1098 01:31:21,642 --> 01:31:24,008 Commander Clement, Royal Navy. 1099 01:31:24,879 --> 01:31:28,610 - I claim this treasure... - He claims it? 1100 01:31:28,683 --> 01:31:31,516 ...in the name of Her Majesty, Queen Anne. 1101 01:31:31,619 --> 01:31:35,180 Dan, darling, I don't think I love you anymore. 1102 01:31:35,556 --> 01:31:37,524 You're right. You don't. 1103 01:31:37,859 --> 01:31:39,326 Goodbye, Triola. 1104 01:31:39,393 --> 01:31:42,328 There's at least two more chests down there. 1105 01:31:42,530 --> 01:31:45,294 You'll be a duke now, sir. Won't you, sir? 1106 01:31:46,100 --> 01:31:48,398 Duty, Mansell. That's my reward. 1107 01:31:49,337 --> 01:31:50,599 Duke, eh? 1108 01:31:51,606 --> 01:31:55,042 You've got a lovely bottom, blue eyes. 1109 01:31:55,409 --> 01:31:57,434 - I think I love you. - What? 1110 01:31:57,712 --> 01:32:01,011 She said you've got a lovely bottom, sir, and... 1111 01:32:01,082 --> 01:32:02,913 - Shut up, Mansell. - Yes, sir. 1112 01:32:03,484 --> 01:32:06,715 - Right, Mansell, clap those people in irons. - Sir. 1113 01:32:11,125 --> 01:32:13,719 You poor dear. You must have suffered. 1114 01:32:14,061 --> 01:32:16,996 - Tell me about it. - It was simply awful. 1115 01:32:28,709 --> 01:32:31,906 Sir, I was just thinking... 1116 01:32:32,513 --> 01:32:35,141 Her Majesty can have no idea... 1117 01:32:35,216 --> 01:32:37,980 how much treasure we've got. Can she, sir? 1118 01:32:38,920 --> 01:32:40,478 No, she can't. 1119 01:32:41,455 --> 01:32:43,616 - Have one yourself. - Thank you, sir. 1120 01:32:44,125 --> 01:32:47,185 Or even where we are. 1121 01:32:48,896 --> 01:32:50,329 I say, sir. 1122 01:32:52,166 --> 01:32:56,068 Mansell, are you thinking what I think you're thinking? 1123 01:32:56,337 --> 01:32:58,703 I'll think whatever you say, sir. 1124 01:33:00,541 --> 01:33:03,066 Ever been to the Americas? 1125 01:33:07,815 --> 01:33:11,478 Us Yellowbeards are never more dangerous than when we're dead. 1126 01:33:12,486 --> 01:33:13,612 Dan. 1127 01:33:15,723 --> 01:33:17,452 I think I love you. 1128 01:33:17,758 --> 01:33:20,625 Come on, lad, there's pirating to be done. 86296