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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,666 --> 00:00:07,519 So I was thinking this weekend, 2 00:00:07,544 --> 00:00:10,079 we go to Zippieri's for dinner and then go hit that 3 00:00:10,104 --> 00:00:12,618 new indoor free-fall skydiving place. 4 00:00:12,643 --> 00:00:15,105 I'd love to see how you'd deal with all that flipping around 5 00:00:15,130 --> 00:00:18,190 after a fresh plate of spaghetti Bolognese, old man. 6 00:00:19,479 --> 00:00:21,998 OK, her I understand, but you? 7 00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:23,545 It's a brand new world, kid. 8 00:00:23,570 --> 00:00:26,344 I'm actually dating from the privacy of my own home. 9 00:00:26,369 --> 00:00:28,589 Wow. I'm in free fall already. 10 00:00:28,614 --> 00:00:32,880 It's called December Date, and it's for people of a particular vintage. 11 00:00:32,963 --> 00:00:35,234 You're not virtual dating too, are you? 12 00:00:35,259 --> 00:00:38,041 - My generation doesn't date. - I like the sounds of that. 13 00:00:38,066 --> 00:00:40,333 We hang out independently in groups of guys and girls. 14 00:00:40,399 --> 00:00:42,466 And then, through the magic of social media, 15 00:00:42,491 --> 00:00:44,144 we "accidentally" meet up in packs. 16 00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:45,654 Let's go, kiddo. 17 00:00:48,936 --> 00:00:50,738 - Bye, Dad. - Have a good day, honey. 18 00:00:50,763 --> 00:00:54,044 Hey. On my estimation, it's been about a half century 19 00:00:54,069 --> 00:00:55,949 since you went on a first date with Mom. 20 00:00:55,974 --> 00:00:59,528 So word to the wise, Dad: slow and steady wins the race. 21 00:00:59,553 --> 00:01:01,167 Yeah. 22 00:01:01,749 --> 00:01:03,330 Let's hope. 23 00:01:08,338 --> 00:01:11,054 My Dad's on a dating website, Jules is running 24 00:01:11,079 --> 00:01:13,802 with a teen wolf pack. Did spring come early this year? 25 00:01:13,827 --> 00:01:16,803 It's a lonely world out there. Everyone wants a cuddle buddy. 26 00:01:16,828 --> 00:01:18,654 I guess you've got that covered, 27 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:22,518 Miss Say-it-With-Leather 2016. How is your mystery man, anyway? 28 00:01:22,543 --> 00:01:25,650 Have you figured out why you're so obsessed with who's dating whom? 29 00:01:25,675 --> 00:01:27,430 I get the sense you're about to tell me. 30 00:01:27,463 --> 00:01:31,248 Maybe... you're in a slump? 31 00:01:31,580 --> 00:01:34,967 Nothing like laughter to brighten my day. Thank you. 32 00:01:34,992 --> 00:01:37,085 Happens to everyone now and then, you know. 33 00:01:37,242 --> 00:01:40,284 How long has it been? What's a dry spell for Matt Shade? 34 00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:43,108 Can we keep the investigation focused on our client? 35 00:01:43,134 --> 00:01:45,115 She's not just a client; Vanessa's a friend. 36 00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:48,260 Yeah, I know. I looked her up. Big-time architect. Very impressive. 37 00:01:48,285 --> 00:01:50,156 She's completely a self-made woman. 38 00:01:50,182 --> 00:01:52,007 I helped with her divorce case last year. 39 00:01:52,032 --> 00:01:53,969 Found proof her husband was cheating on her. 40 00:01:53,994 --> 00:01:56,595 - So why's she calling now? - That's what's strange. 41 00:01:56,620 --> 00:01:58,780 She didn't sound like herself at all on the phone. 42 00:01:59,288 --> 00:02:01,938 All she would say was to come quickly. 43 00:02:01,963 --> 00:02:04,481 I'll call the police and have you charged with theft! 44 00:02:04,929 --> 00:02:07,981 Please, stop it. OK, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 45 00:02:08,006 --> 00:02:10,133 Look, there's been a mistake. Let me make some calls 46 00:02:10,158 --> 00:02:12,510 and get this straightened out. Please! 47 00:02:12,535 --> 00:02:14,763 You can't just take it! Please, my God. 48 00:02:14,788 --> 00:02:17,811 - Vanessa, what's going on? - They stole it. 49 00:02:17,926 --> 00:02:20,027 They stole my whole life. 50 00:02:22,284 --> 00:02:23,654 Identity theft? 51 00:02:23,679 --> 00:02:26,779 Apparently it was a two-phase plan. They got a hold 52 00:02:26,804 --> 00:02:29,905 of my passwords somehow and set up phantom credit cards 53 00:02:29,930 --> 00:02:32,731 in my name. Made a few small purchases 54 00:02:32,756 --> 00:02:34,756 to see if I'd catch on. You didn't. 55 00:02:34,781 --> 00:02:37,497 No. Once they learned they were in the clear, 56 00:02:37,522 --> 00:02:40,481 they set up multiple lines of credit against my house 57 00:02:40,546 --> 00:02:43,750 and made huge withdrawals. That's when the bank called. 58 00:02:43,775 --> 00:02:46,121 Aren't the banks insured against things like this? 59 00:02:46,153 --> 00:02:48,040 That's only if your credit cards are stolen. 60 00:02:48,065 --> 00:02:50,147 The thieves stole my passwords. 61 00:02:50,172 --> 00:02:52,137 So the banks can't prove you didn't do it all yourself. 62 00:02:52,162 --> 00:02:55,428 No. They're saying I'm on the hook for seven figures. 63 00:02:55,453 --> 00:02:58,041 - What am I gonna do? - Everything's going to be OK. 64 00:02:58,066 --> 00:03:00,500 Trust me, I've been there before. 65 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,199 My ex-manager cleaned me out. 66 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:06,409 Did you talk to the police? 67 00:03:06,434 --> 00:03:07,847 They say they don't have the resources 68 00:03:07,872 --> 00:03:10,814 for this kind of crime. They did tell me that most of the money 69 00:03:10,839 --> 00:03:12,645 was used to purchase rare coins. 70 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,785 That's a hell of a way to pad your coin collection. 71 00:03:14,809 --> 00:03:18,077 The thief flew to Miami, New York, Colorado to buy them. 72 00:03:18,305 --> 00:03:20,697 First class. I've seen it before. 73 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:23,092 The biggest obstacle that scammers face is converting 74 00:03:23,117 --> 00:03:26,266 credit to cash, so they buy high-value items to resell. 75 00:03:26,487 --> 00:03:29,355 - Coins don't attract attention. - You toss a million dollar coin 76 00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:31,744 in the tray at airport security and nobody looks twice. 77 00:03:31,769 --> 00:03:34,471 What about your routine? Anything changed there? 78 00:03:34,496 --> 00:03:37,590 I work 80 hours a week. There's no room for change. 79 00:03:37,615 --> 00:03:39,434 Anyone new in your life recently? 80 00:03:39,459 --> 00:03:42,638 You know how it is, Angie. Running your own business, there's no time. 81 00:03:42,663 --> 00:03:44,952 We're going to find out who did this. OK? 82 00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:48,621 Thank you. Just excuse me for a sec. 83 00:03:51,241 --> 00:03:53,717 I've worked high-level identity theft cases before. 84 00:03:53,742 --> 00:03:56,130 - It's brutal. - You mentioned an ex husband. 85 00:03:56,155 --> 00:03:58,927 - You think this is personal? - Let's start with him, 86 00:03:58,951 --> 00:04:00,939 check for proof of lavish spending lately. 87 00:04:00,965 --> 00:04:03,021 - Follow the money trail. - And hope. 88 00:04:38,827 --> 00:04:41,494 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 89 00:04:44,767 --> 00:04:47,989 So why am I the one going through her ex-husband's trash? 90 00:04:48,013 --> 00:04:50,213 Your first dumpster dive! It's a time-honoured tradition. 91 00:04:50,238 --> 00:04:53,346 - Ugh. Is this really necessary? - Trust me. Everyone throws out 92 00:04:53,371 --> 00:04:55,788 their secrets with the trash. There's two dozen units 93 00:04:55,813 --> 00:04:58,091 in this building. We're never going to find anything. 94 00:04:58,116 --> 00:05:00,116 Oh, it's disgusting! 95 00:05:00,141 --> 00:05:02,708 OK, well, you can get out now, anyway. 96 00:05:04,058 --> 00:05:05,393 You sure? 97 00:05:05,418 --> 00:05:07,746 Yeah. I found this in the third bag you threw over. 98 00:05:07,771 --> 00:05:09,970 - Why didn't you tell me? - I wanted to be 99 00:05:09,995 --> 00:05:13,097 absolutely sure. 100 00:05:13,927 --> 00:05:16,607 It's a car detailing receipt 101 00:05:16,632 --> 00:05:19,134 made out to a Dean Barnwell. 102 00:05:19,159 --> 00:05:20,625 2016 Porsche Panamera. 103 00:05:20,650 --> 00:05:24,476 You mean like that one? 104 00:05:24,501 --> 00:05:27,437 Oh, my God, it's him. 105 00:05:27,462 --> 00:05:29,643 We need to hide! If he sees me, he'll get suspicious. 106 00:05:29,668 --> 00:05:31,564 He doesn't know me. 107 00:05:32,183 --> 00:05:34,350 Karma is a fickle mistress. 108 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:37,439 Shut up and give me a boost. 109 00:05:37,576 --> 00:05:40,067 - Watch out for the... - Ew! 110 00:05:53,173 --> 00:05:55,355 - What's all this? - You know, the raccoons 111 00:05:55,380 --> 00:05:58,199 get bigger every year. You might wanna get a new parking spot. 112 00:05:58,223 --> 00:06:01,247 Hey, that's a sweet ride. You get a chance to open her up yet? 113 00:06:01,272 --> 00:06:05,525 Uh, its top speed's 285, but I chicken out around 240. 114 00:06:05,551 --> 00:06:09,412 Yeah, I got a'69 911T myself. My ex-wife would freak out 115 00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:11,047 if she ever caught me in anything like this. 116 00:06:11,072 --> 00:06:13,783 - Luckily mine doesn't know. - How'd you manage that? 117 00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:16,577 My ex was all over me. Even hired a private detective 118 00:06:16,602 --> 00:06:18,602 - to follow me around. - Mine too. 119 00:06:18,627 --> 00:06:22,153 And like a dumbass, she caught me cheating. Ruined my life. 120 00:06:22,178 --> 00:06:24,679 Wow. Well, things can't be that bad. 121 00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:28,673 I lease it. I can barely keep up the payments. 122 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:30,538 Well, see you. 123 00:06:30,563 --> 00:06:32,023 Do you ever think about trying to get back together 124 00:06:32,048 --> 00:06:33,603 with her? Your ex? 125 00:06:33,631 --> 00:06:37,318 Sure, but she's back out there already. 126 00:06:37,528 --> 00:06:40,064 She's apparently been dating again, with a vengeance. 127 00:06:40,089 --> 00:06:43,347 Wasted no time. Take it easy. 128 00:06:43,372 --> 00:06:45,612 Hey, you too. 129 00:06:51,709 --> 00:06:54,405 There's nothing in your ex-husband's financial records 130 00:06:54,430 --> 00:06:56,715 that indicates he had anything to do with this. 131 00:06:56,740 --> 00:06:59,575 In fact, he's pretty much broke. 132 00:06:59,601 --> 00:07:01,954 He did say you were seeing people again. Is that true? 133 00:07:01,979 --> 00:07:04,924 - About a thousand creditors. - So you haven't been dating? 134 00:07:04,949 --> 00:07:06,767 I wish. 135 00:07:07,599 --> 00:07:09,721 A friend and I did go 136 00:07:09,746 --> 00:07:11,820 on a speed-dating event about four months ago. 137 00:07:11,845 --> 00:07:13,810 - Where was that? - The company was called 138 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:16,234 Constellations. I'm sorry, I totally forgot. 139 00:07:16,259 --> 00:07:18,526 But I didn't go out on any dates after that. 140 00:07:18,551 --> 00:07:21,148 Speed-dating still works the way I think it does, right? 141 00:07:21,173 --> 00:07:22,904 A bunch of guys sit across from you 142 00:07:22,929 --> 00:07:25,131 - for a couple of minutes each? - Ask you as many personal 143 00:07:25,156 --> 00:07:27,433 questions as they can, as fast as they can? 144 00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:31,160 Oh, my God. You think I set myself up? 145 00:07:31,185 --> 00:07:34,583 Just give us a ballpark. How many guys are we talking about? 146 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:38,251 Welcome to Constellations. 147 00:07:38,276 --> 00:07:40,133 My name is Enrique Villanova. 148 00:07:40,158 --> 00:07:43,125 I want to congratulate you on making the first step 149 00:07:43,150 --> 00:07:45,251 toward a happier, more fulfilled life. 150 00:07:47,686 --> 00:07:50,580 Well, Vanessa picked a popular dating company. 151 00:07:50,605 --> 00:07:53,190 So a lot of guys then. 152 00:07:53,216 --> 00:07:55,355 If our thief is swimming in these waters... 153 00:07:55,380 --> 00:07:57,647 I think we're diving in. 154 00:08:01,020 --> 00:08:05,116 So how honest should we be on this speed-dating questionnaire? 155 00:08:05,141 --> 00:08:07,082 - Honest-ish. - It's kinda genius, 156 00:08:07,107 --> 00:08:09,768 using speed-dating. You grill someone for two minutes, 157 00:08:09,793 --> 00:08:11,835 - it comes off as interest. - Meanwhile, you're learning 158 00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:14,572 all the common passwords: first pet, favourite movie, 159 00:08:14,597 --> 00:08:16,790 even mother's maiden name. What are you putting down 160 00:08:16,815 --> 00:08:18,721 - as a profession? - Urban planner. 161 00:08:18,746 --> 00:08:19,857 It's close to architect. 162 00:08:19,882 --> 00:08:22,386 I'm trying to emulate Vanessa's profile as much as possible. 163 00:08:22,411 --> 00:08:24,201 - Smart. - What about you? 164 00:08:24,227 --> 00:08:26,445 Owner of a sports memorabilia company. 165 00:08:26,470 --> 00:08:28,267 Not the sexiest... 166 00:08:28,292 --> 00:08:31,160 Hey, I could put down pet food taster and I'd still be catnip. 167 00:08:31,185 --> 00:08:32,907 So you are using this to break your slump. 168 00:08:32,932 --> 00:08:34,408 Nothing here to break, sister. 169 00:08:34,433 --> 00:08:37,108 And I'm starting to wonder if that "stride of pride" of yours 170 00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:38,021 was all front. 171 00:08:38,046 --> 00:08:40,859 Oh... You still frustrated that you don't know who it is? 172 00:08:40,884 --> 00:08:43,217 People in slumps are frustrated. Ergo, 173 00:08:43,242 --> 00:08:45,804 - I'm not frustrated at all. - OK. 174 00:08:45,836 --> 00:08:47,764 Favourite music... 175 00:08:48,008 --> 00:08:50,253 Remember, this is a vulnerable step for people. 176 00:08:50,278 --> 00:08:52,846 So I'd go with something empathetic, like... 177 00:08:53,172 --> 00:08:54,482 Sarah McLachlan. 178 00:08:54,507 --> 00:08:58,956 Sarah McLachlan... 179 00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:10,315 Hey, honey! What's the rush? 180 00:09:10,340 --> 00:09:13,907 I've got to get dressed. I got a date tonight with 20 women. 181 00:09:14,832 --> 00:09:16,842 OK. 182 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:21,596 What's going on? I just teed one up for you. You let it go. 183 00:09:21,621 --> 00:09:24,989 - I was wrong. - Wow, that's a first. 184 00:09:25,014 --> 00:09:27,548 Apparently, my generation does go on dates. 185 00:09:28,387 --> 00:09:31,360 - Liam just asked me out. - On a date. 186 00:09:31,385 --> 00:09:33,640 I don't even know what "on a date" means. Do I have to act 187 00:09:33,665 --> 00:09:35,731 differently? Do I have to worry about what I'm wearing? 188 00:09:35,756 --> 00:09:37,705 I'm sure I'll worry enough for the both of us. 189 00:09:37,730 --> 00:09:39,875 - Where's this date happening? - He wants to take me 190 00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:42,234 to Symphony Star Trek at the planetarium. 191 00:09:42,259 --> 00:09:45,027 No, no. The planetarium is out. 192 00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,843 Planetariums are for making out. No one looks at the stars! 193 00:09:47,868 --> 00:09:50,878 Well, not looking is a given. We're going for the music. 194 00:09:50,903 --> 00:09:54,027 No. Honey, this is moving way too fast for me. 195 00:09:54,574 --> 00:09:56,655 You know, Dad, I could have used some real advice here. 196 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,977 But I'm glad we got your feelings on the subject straightened out. 197 00:10:00,002 --> 00:10:02,465 Honey, honey, honey. Look, I'm sorry. 198 00:10:02,490 --> 00:10:06,404 It's just... I'm used to being the Liam in this situation. 199 00:10:07,849 --> 00:10:09,784 When is this date happening? 200 00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:12,208 You can't tail us! 201 00:10:18,737 --> 00:10:21,338 How can we guarantee the thief's going to be here? 202 00:10:21,363 --> 00:10:23,863 We can't, but it's the only speed-dating event this month. 203 00:10:23,888 --> 00:10:25,989 Ooh, I'll take one of those. 204 00:10:26,014 --> 00:10:29,086 It may be speed-dating, but they know how to do it up right. 205 00:10:29,111 --> 00:10:30,387 Yep. 206 00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:35,184 Did you pick up that eating technique at finishing school? 207 00:10:35,424 --> 00:10:37,266 I missed dinner. 208 00:10:38,284 --> 00:10:40,450 Is there something on my face? 209 00:10:42,533 --> 00:10:45,794 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome. 210 00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:49,321 Before you take your seats, let's review the rules. 211 00:10:49,346 --> 00:10:52,719 You'll have two minutes to connect with each person 212 00:10:52,744 --> 00:10:54,967 before the bell rings and you move on. 213 00:10:55,037 --> 00:10:57,200 - So what's your plan? - I'm gonna trick our thief 214 00:10:57,225 --> 00:10:59,614 - into overplaying his hand. - How will you know 215 00:10:59,639 --> 00:11:01,909 - when someone's a suspect? - Identity thieves, 216 00:11:01,934 --> 00:11:04,205 they feed on the minutia of your life and schedule. 217 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:07,183 If someone's overly interested in my personal trivia, 218 00:11:07,207 --> 00:11:09,124 I'll get a second date request from them. 219 00:11:09,150 --> 00:11:11,580 - Just like that? - Candy from a baby. 220 00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:14,949 You can "ping" anyone you wish via our app. 221 00:11:14,973 --> 00:11:18,766 The ping comes with our patented emoji, requesting a date. 222 00:11:18,791 --> 00:11:21,400 My advice to you all: be open, 223 00:11:21,425 --> 00:11:22,919 and love will find you. 224 00:11:22,944 --> 00:11:25,412 Now please take your seats. 225 00:11:25,891 --> 00:11:28,631 Meanwhile, I'm looking for victims of identity theft. 226 00:11:28,656 --> 00:11:31,011 Meaning I have to find a way to ask these ladies 227 00:11:31,036 --> 00:11:33,194 about their financial history without looking like a creep. 228 00:11:33,219 --> 00:11:36,751 Which should be a cinch. Unless you're in a slump? 229 00:11:39,128 --> 00:11:41,153 20 bucks says I get more dates off of this than you. 230 00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:43,169 I don't want your money. 231 00:11:43,194 --> 00:11:44,984 - 50? - Done. 232 00:11:50,567 --> 00:11:53,840 Ladies and gentlemen, time to get speed-dating! 233 00:11:53,865 --> 00:11:56,535 How about this? Instead of leading with our strengths, 234 00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:59,321 we could do something completely crazy. 235 00:11:59,346 --> 00:12:02,436 Like, um... arm-wrestle? 236 00:12:02,461 --> 00:12:05,804 Or we could talk about the worst thing that's ever happened to us. 237 00:12:05,829 --> 00:12:08,551 I'll go first. My manager stole all my money. 238 00:12:08,576 --> 00:12:11,436 - All of it? - Every last dime. 239 00:12:12,716 --> 00:12:15,222 So what's the money issue? I'd love to help with it, 240 00:12:15,247 --> 00:12:18,192 or with anything at all. I'm debating taking my company 241 00:12:18,217 --> 00:12:21,304 public, but I'm not sure I want the oversight. Call me crazy... 242 00:12:21,329 --> 00:12:22,779 You're crazy. 243 00:12:22,936 --> 00:12:25,359 I mean, you asked me to call you that, right? I don't actually 244 00:12:25,384 --> 00:12:27,448 mean you're crazy. I think you're amazing. 245 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:31,394 I'm blowing this. I am blowing this, aren't I? Oh, crap. 246 00:12:31,419 --> 00:12:33,070 - Your turn. - OK. 247 00:12:33,095 --> 00:12:36,546 - My dad shot my dog. - That's terrible. 248 00:12:36,571 --> 00:12:38,051 For eating his hoagie. 249 00:12:39,021 --> 00:12:41,688 Bang. 250 00:12:41,713 --> 00:12:44,138 Ping me? 251 00:12:44,590 --> 00:12:46,964 How much money did your manager take? 252 00:12:46,989 --> 00:12:50,357 I lost everything. Anything like that ever happen to you? 253 00:12:50,382 --> 00:12:53,352 Ugh. If I lost everything, I'd be a complete mess. 254 00:12:53,422 --> 00:12:55,921 Surprisingly, it's not the end of the world. 255 00:12:55,946 --> 00:12:57,748 Way to put on a brave face. 256 00:12:57,773 --> 00:13:00,031 A cute, brave face. 257 00:13:00,056 --> 00:13:02,340 I don't think it's wrong talking about money on a date. 258 00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:05,034 My CFO is worried about security, but I guess that's... 259 00:13:05,059 --> 00:13:06,772 How much money are we talking about? 260 00:13:06,797 --> 00:13:09,363 A very healthy sum. Why? 261 00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:12,342 I've got a Kickstarter campaign for a zombie repellent. 262 00:13:12,366 --> 00:13:14,023 Cool. 263 00:13:14,049 --> 00:13:16,392 Do you want to know why all your money was stolen 264 00:13:16,417 --> 00:13:18,634 - by your ex-manager? - You bet I do. 265 00:13:18,658 --> 00:13:21,024 It's because you haven't given yourself over to him. 266 00:13:21,049 --> 00:13:23,950 - Completely. - Him... 267 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,471 - Satan? - And you know what else? 268 00:13:26,496 --> 00:13:28,933 People think believing in the occult means you can't 269 00:13:28,958 --> 00:13:31,357 have a fun social life. Not true. 270 00:13:31,381 --> 00:13:33,629 He will strip away false desire 271 00:13:33,654 --> 00:13:36,124 and satisfy only the needs that matter. 272 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:40,176 Well, I don't know much about pagan rituals, 273 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,816 but I like what I've heard. 274 00:13:43,842 --> 00:13:45,707 I mean, I don't usually like to talk about my financials... 275 00:13:45,732 --> 00:13:48,787 Wow. Beautiful, smart, savvy and funny? 276 00:13:48,811 --> 00:13:51,612 You're the whole package. And I know packages. 277 00:13:51,637 --> 00:13:54,141 As a lawyer, I mean. 278 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:57,204 Corporate lawyer. Bay Street lawyer. 279 00:13:57,229 --> 00:13:59,943 - So you're a lawyer. - Either that or medical school. 280 00:14:06,228 --> 00:14:08,418 Why are you calling me? 281 00:14:08,443 --> 00:14:10,148 My date recognized me. 282 00:14:10,173 --> 00:14:12,894 She thinks all pro hockey players are players... 283 00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:15,804 which makes sense, because we are. How's it going? 284 00:14:15,829 --> 00:14:18,390 It's not going anywhere because I'm talking to you! 285 00:14:18,415 --> 00:14:22,117 Well, have at it. Oh, FYI, I'm crushing it. 286 00:14:22,142 --> 00:14:24,414 Hanging up now. I'm crushing it too. 287 00:14:24,439 --> 00:14:27,538 - Sorry. - No problem. Jeremy. 288 00:14:27,563 --> 00:14:30,212 Angie. So what do you do for a living? 289 00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:33,104 Oh, I own an ad agency. 290 00:14:33,129 --> 00:14:34,883 It's mostly web-based. 291 00:14:34,909 --> 00:14:36,829 But talking about our jobs is just so boring. 292 00:14:36,853 --> 00:14:39,161 Ad agency. You must be 293 00:14:39,187 --> 00:14:41,909 terrifically visual and very organized. 294 00:14:41,934 --> 00:14:43,752 - I guess. - Probably really great 295 00:14:43,777 --> 00:14:47,909 - at managing money. I'm hopeless. - I'm worse, trust me. 296 00:14:48,285 --> 00:14:51,786 Did you grow up in Toronto? 297 00:14:52,009 --> 00:14:53,763 What can that teach you about me? 298 00:14:54,145 --> 00:14:56,494 I only have two minutes. Less. 299 00:14:56,518 --> 00:15:00,216 - OK, yeah. I grew up here. Downtown. - Cool. High school? 300 00:15:00,241 --> 00:15:02,630 - Jarvis. - Favourite subject? 301 00:15:02,655 --> 00:15:04,529 - English. - Pet? 302 00:15:04,554 --> 00:15:06,823 Like... first pet? 303 00:15:07,391 --> 00:15:09,439 A cat. Mittens. 304 00:15:09,464 --> 00:15:12,331 No way! I had a cat named Mittens. 305 00:15:12,356 --> 00:15:14,753 What a crazy coincidence. 306 00:15:14,778 --> 00:15:18,674 This is so much better than talking about money, isn't it? 307 00:15:18,699 --> 00:15:21,293 You're so right. Can I tell you a secret? 308 00:15:21,318 --> 00:15:24,550 I think it's so boring when people wait until the third date before they... 309 00:15:28,749 --> 00:15:32,458 - Right. Forgot about this. - Is this where we act like 310 00:15:32,483 --> 00:15:33,349 we're really into each other? 311 00:15:33,374 --> 00:15:35,029 So we make other people jealous. Good idea. 312 00:15:35,054 --> 00:15:39,150 - OK. You go first. - OK. Your ex-manager. 313 00:15:39,175 --> 00:15:43,093 - What exactly happened there? - We'd need more 314 00:15:43,118 --> 00:15:45,157 than two minutes to get through that story. 315 00:15:45,182 --> 00:15:48,364 - Fine. Gimme the spiel. - The spiel? 316 00:15:48,396 --> 00:15:50,959 What would Matt Shade's closing arguments be 317 00:15:50,985 --> 00:15:53,020 if this were a real date? 318 00:15:54,515 --> 00:15:56,848 I know we've just met, 319 00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:59,569 and I know I'm only getting 10 percent, 320 00:16:00,385 --> 00:16:02,931 but that 10 percent in my corner? 321 00:16:02,956 --> 00:16:05,391 There's nothing I couldn't do. 322 00:16:05,525 --> 00:16:08,149 And there's nothing I wouldn't do 323 00:16:08,174 --> 00:16:10,941 to earn just five percent more. 324 00:16:13,590 --> 00:16:17,814 And that is why I'm crushing it. 325 00:16:19,487 --> 00:16:22,929 Oh! Got another one. 326 00:16:22,954 --> 00:16:24,746 Can you call me? 327 00:16:24,772 --> 00:16:26,830 I think my phone is busted. It's OK if you didn't get 328 00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:29,605 any date requests. Women are tough nuts to crack. 329 00:16:29,630 --> 00:16:32,803 Did you sandbag me with that whole Sarah McLachlan thing? 330 00:16:32,829 --> 00:16:35,537 What immense pleasure would I get from that? 331 00:16:35,634 --> 00:16:37,767 And they haven't seen our profiles yet. 332 00:16:37,792 --> 00:16:40,664 Or are you right? Am I in a slump? 333 00:16:40,689 --> 00:16:43,380 Oh, come on. I was just kidding. 334 00:16:43,531 --> 00:16:45,498 It's really starting to pile up. 335 00:16:45,523 --> 00:16:47,258 Let's go grab Vanessa and see if she recognizes 336 00:16:47,283 --> 00:16:49,555 - any of these guys. - You go ahead. 337 00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:51,156 I'm going to take a little detour. 338 00:16:51,181 --> 00:16:54,231 Self-help book? Good for you, Shade. 339 00:16:54,422 --> 00:16:56,233 It's for my daughter. 340 00:16:56,258 --> 00:16:58,425 I know it is. 341 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:00,197 I'll put it on vibrate. 342 00:17:02,461 --> 00:17:04,458 That's not helping. 343 00:17:12,805 --> 00:17:15,685 Teenagers. They are the ultimate challenge. 344 00:17:15,710 --> 00:17:17,481 Yeah. 345 00:17:17,766 --> 00:17:19,694 Sign language? 346 00:17:20,084 --> 00:17:22,293 My teenage nephew is deaf 347 00:17:22,318 --> 00:17:24,944 and I'm pretty sure he's swearing at me in sign, 348 00:17:24,969 --> 00:17:28,704 so I hope to blow his mind with this. 349 00:17:28,729 --> 00:17:31,623 - That looks dangerous. - Trust me, it is. 350 00:17:32,786 --> 00:17:35,387 So, your teenager? A daughter. 351 00:17:35,412 --> 00:17:38,540 14. Actually, she's legally blind. 352 00:17:38,565 --> 00:17:40,235 Brave girl, I imagine. 353 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,826 Sometimes I worry too brave for her own good. 354 00:17:42,851 --> 00:17:44,927 That can only happen when children feel secure 355 00:17:44,952 --> 00:17:46,523 in their home life. 356 00:17:46,548 --> 00:17:50,135 That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me in a while. 357 00:17:56,806 --> 00:17:59,295 Sorry, I normally make it a rule 358 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:03,161 to not just stand and stare at people like an idiot. 359 00:18:03,592 --> 00:18:05,763 It's OK. I normally make it a rule 360 00:18:05,788 --> 00:18:08,360 not to interrupt people in bookstores 361 00:18:08,385 --> 00:18:10,385 when they are reading. 362 00:18:10,797 --> 00:18:15,102 But sometimes it's fun to break your rules, no? 363 00:18:15,669 --> 00:18:17,223 Matt. 364 00:18:17,248 --> 00:18:19,362 Sylvie. 365 00:18:20,537 --> 00:18:22,887 Good luck with your daughter, Matt. 366 00:18:24,373 --> 00:18:28,294 Sylvie? Would you be interested in getting together 367 00:18:28,319 --> 00:18:31,169 over coffee and discussing more about teenagers... 368 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:34,246 or any other subject you want? 369 00:18:36,134 --> 00:18:38,833 - Lady's choice? - Definitely. 370 00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:51,906 Don't lose the bookmark. 371 00:18:56,862 --> 00:18:59,779 And... ping! 372 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:03,722 Recognize any of these people? 373 00:19:05,192 --> 00:19:07,744 I remember this guy from my speed-dating event. 374 00:19:07,769 --> 00:19:09,998 Ken Barnes. He's a doctor. 375 00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:12,484 He told me he was a lawyer. 376 00:19:12,509 --> 00:19:14,937 Add him to the suspect list. 377 00:19:14,996 --> 00:19:16,804 I honestly think the worst part of this 378 00:19:16,829 --> 00:19:18,604 is never being able to trust anyone again. 379 00:19:18,629 --> 00:19:22,074 Angie doesn't trust anyone already, so that's the only part for her. 380 00:19:22,099 --> 00:19:24,153 One of life's little efficiencies. 381 00:19:24,178 --> 00:19:27,407 - So how do we get this guy? - He'll slip up eventually. 382 00:19:27,432 --> 00:19:29,865 - They always do. - Here's another one 383 00:19:29,890 --> 00:19:32,944 of your pings. Look where he's been in the last month. 384 00:19:32,969 --> 00:19:35,336 Miami, New York, Colorado. 385 00:19:35,361 --> 00:19:38,528 The same cities the ID thief bought the rare coins. 386 00:19:38,951 --> 00:19:41,461 Jeremy Cairns. 387 00:19:41,779 --> 00:19:43,946 Rosedale address. Nice digs. 388 00:19:43,971 --> 00:19:45,971 Do you recognize him? 389 00:19:46,466 --> 00:19:49,299 - Maybe... - So Jeremy Cairns thinks 390 00:19:49,324 --> 00:19:51,288 you're an easy mark. What's our next move? 391 00:19:51,313 --> 00:19:53,459 You look into doctor slash lawyer Ken. 392 00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:55,025 And... 393 00:19:55,282 --> 00:19:57,883 I've got a date with an identity thief. 394 00:20:00,946 --> 00:20:04,238 I understand you need me to be a different kind of parent 395 00:20:04,263 --> 00:20:05,807 in different situations. 396 00:20:05,833 --> 00:20:08,394 Sometimes you need me to be a confidant. 397 00:20:08,419 --> 00:20:11,518 And other times, you need me to be a... 398 00:20:12,881 --> 00:20:14,663 Uh... 399 00:20:15,857 --> 00:20:18,175 Other... 400 00:20:21,047 --> 00:20:25,620 "Cheerleader." Other times you need me to be a cheerleader. 401 00:20:29,621 --> 00:20:32,902 Hey. I still think I should be out there with you in the field. 402 00:20:32,927 --> 00:20:35,823 We're looking for an identity thief, not a serial killer. 403 00:20:35,848 --> 00:20:38,192 I've got this. We could put a wire on you 404 00:20:38,218 --> 00:20:40,000 and I could follow behind, listening. 405 00:20:40,221 --> 00:20:43,132 Does this scenario involve you helping me put on a wire? 406 00:20:43,157 --> 00:20:45,658 - It's hard to do solo. - [Stick with the plan.] 407 00:20:45,683 --> 00:20:48,473 Stake out Ken so you can figure out what he really does for a living. 408 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:52,435 OK. You call if you need backup. Or help with a zipper. 409 00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:58,615 Hey! How do I look? 410 00:20:58,731 --> 00:21:00,199 What, are you going to a funeral? 411 00:21:00,224 --> 00:21:02,791 Get the door. 412 00:21:07,587 --> 00:21:09,904 - Liam. - Hi, sir. 413 00:21:09,929 --> 00:21:12,411 - Well, come on in. - Thank you. 414 00:21:13,757 --> 00:21:17,371 So. Graduating from study buddy, huh? 415 00:21:17,404 --> 00:21:19,554 - Ha, yeah. - Hey, Liam. Tell me about 416 00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:22,499 - your mother. Three things. - My mom? 417 00:21:22,525 --> 00:21:24,208 - Yeah. - Um... 418 00:21:24,233 --> 00:21:26,467 She's really smart. She works at a research council 419 00:21:26,492 --> 00:21:29,283 as an epidemiologist. Oh, she has, like, 420 00:21:29,308 --> 00:21:32,309 over 200 books and she says she's going to get rid of them 421 00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:35,668 - but never does. Uh... - That's enough. The kid's fine. 422 00:21:37,083 --> 00:21:38,932 How does this look? 423 00:21:39,661 --> 00:21:41,439 You're going on a date. 424 00:21:41,464 --> 00:21:45,175 Yeah, well, us December Daters can't waste any time, you know? 425 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:49,062 - But seriously, is this OK? - Yeah, you're rockin' it, Dad. 426 00:21:49,087 --> 00:21:51,254 Just don't mention the Illuminati. 427 00:21:51,286 --> 00:21:53,161 Those no-good bastards. See you! 428 00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:54,465 See you! 429 00:21:55,918 --> 00:21:58,577 Liam, what you said about your mom was nice. 430 00:21:58,602 --> 00:22:00,160 Means you respect her. 431 00:22:00,198 --> 00:22:02,770 My dad thinks that it means you respect all women. 432 00:22:02,795 --> 00:22:05,128 I do, sir. I really do. 433 00:22:05,153 --> 00:22:09,086 Uh-huh. Look, Liam, I've been you. 434 00:22:09,586 --> 00:22:12,846 So I don't want to be the Dad that threatens the boy 435 00:22:12,871 --> 00:22:15,646 who comes over, courting his daughter. I don't want to be 436 00:22:15,671 --> 00:22:17,804 the Dad who goes into vivid detail 437 00:22:17,829 --> 00:22:20,329 about what'll happen to the boy if his daughter gets hurt 438 00:22:20,354 --> 00:22:22,788 in any way, on any level. 439 00:22:23,631 --> 00:22:25,731 But I will be that Dad. 440 00:22:25,756 --> 00:22:28,307 I'll be that Dad all day long if I have to be. 441 00:22:28,332 --> 00:22:31,233 - Hey, Liam. - Hey. 442 00:22:31,258 --> 00:22:33,079 Hey, honey. 443 00:22:34,159 --> 00:22:36,221 Liam... 444 00:22:36,246 --> 00:22:39,537 - Would you give us a second? - Uh... uh... 445 00:22:39,570 --> 00:22:41,599 - It's kinda cold out here, sir... - Yeah, just a minute. 446 00:22:43,336 --> 00:22:47,538 Look, honey. I know you need me to be a different parent 447 00:22:47,563 --> 00:22:49,580 - in different situations. - OK... 448 00:22:49,605 --> 00:22:53,455 Sometimes you need me to be a confidant. And other times, 449 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,210 you need me to be a... 450 00:22:56,715 --> 00:23:00,083 - Other times, you need me to be... - Did you rehearse this or something? 451 00:23:00,108 --> 00:23:02,771 I didn't want to screw this up, honey. I read a book. 452 00:23:03,187 --> 00:23:05,230 Keep reading, Dad. 453 00:23:27,314 --> 00:23:29,788 "And sometimes all you need is love"? 454 00:23:30,203 --> 00:23:32,407 Seriously? 455 00:23:50,103 --> 00:23:51,178 Hey, you OK? 456 00:23:51,203 --> 00:23:53,416 Fine. How's it going with Ken? 457 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,839 [Well, our doctor, or is it lawyer, ] 458 00:23:55,864 --> 00:23:58,127 [lives in the crappiest building I've ever seen.] 459 00:23:58,152 --> 00:24:00,524 Oh, well... 460 00:24:00,755 --> 00:24:04,589 if he's our identity thief, then he's keeping it on the down-low. 461 00:24:04,614 --> 00:24:06,836 You got that right. Is your date over? 462 00:24:06,860 --> 00:24:09,027 No. He just went to check on our reservation. 463 00:24:09,052 --> 00:24:11,441 Uh-huh. You sure you don't need me there? 464 00:24:11,466 --> 00:24:13,238 Looks like Ken's turned in for the night. 465 00:24:13,263 --> 00:24:15,263 Aw, are you cold? 466 00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:17,047 Did someone forget to bring their sleeping bag? 467 00:24:17,072 --> 00:24:21,068 I've decided to be the P.I. who stares down the cold of a stakeout. 468 00:24:21,093 --> 00:24:23,720 Well, I'm fine here, because it's an identity thief, 469 00:24:23,745 --> 00:24:27,380 not a serial killer, remember? I'll see you tomorrow. 470 00:24:43,949 --> 00:24:47,773 They said 10 minutes. Don't know if I believe them. 471 00:24:47,798 --> 00:24:51,686 You ordered more drinks? I like your style. 472 00:24:51,711 --> 00:24:53,832 Thank you, Jeremy. 473 00:24:54,178 --> 00:24:56,870 I have a feeling that I could use your help with something. 474 00:24:56,895 --> 00:24:59,720 Sure. Anything. 475 00:24:59,887 --> 00:25:02,757 I'm thinking about re-branding. 476 00:25:02,782 --> 00:25:06,964 - Are you taking on new clients? - Yeah, new clients. 477 00:25:07,620 --> 00:25:10,850 See, the thing is I'm actually pretty booked up. 478 00:25:10,892 --> 00:25:14,128 - For, like, six months. - Are you sure? 479 00:25:14,153 --> 00:25:15,699 I'd really love to help you out, 480 00:25:15,724 --> 00:25:19,627 but learning about you seems like a better use of our time. 481 00:25:19,940 --> 00:25:21,940 So you keep saying. 482 00:25:21,965 --> 00:25:24,689 Beautiful, smart, funny... 483 00:25:24,714 --> 00:25:27,018 Your own urban planning business? 484 00:25:28,024 --> 00:25:32,719 Let's keep the focus on the more interesting party. 485 00:25:32,981 --> 00:25:36,770 Careful. Flattery will get you everywhere. 486 00:25:43,942 --> 00:25:46,509 I never should have tried to memorize the book. 487 00:25:46,534 --> 00:25:48,748 - I realize that now. - You have a lot to learn 488 00:25:48,773 --> 00:25:51,086 - about teenage girls. - That's why I bought the book 489 00:25:51,111 --> 00:25:52,422 in the first place. 490 00:25:53,071 --> 00:25:56,436 The problem is I'm still playing with the weekend-Dad playbook. 491 00:25:56,461 --> 00:25:58,485 This fulltime thing is new to me. 492 00:25:58,510 --> 00:26:02,045 I mean, it's great, but it's tough being a rookie again. 493 00:26:02,523 --> 00:26:05,986 I just don't want to be the Dad who doesn't get it, you know? 494 00:26:06,368 --> 00:26:08,682 Have you tried telling her that? 495 00:26:08,707 --> 00:26:12,045 See, that sounds smart when you say it. 496 00:26:14,528 --> 00:26:16,823 I'd really like to take you out again. 497 00:26:16,848 --> 00:26:18,722 For a whole meal this time. 498 00:26:18,747 --> 00:26:20,817 Appetizers. Desserts. The works. 499 00:26:20,842 --> 00:26:23,261 Ooh, big spender. 500 00:26:23,286 --> 00:26:25,280 How about tomorrow night? 501 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:30,442 - What's wrong? - I'm sorry, Matt. 502 00:26:30,607 --> 00:26:33,001 I should have told you, but I... 503 00:26:33,342 --> 00:26:35,905 I leave tomorrow, for Paris. 504 00:26:36,034 --> 00:26:38,300 OK. 505 00:26:38,850 --> 00:26:40,866 That sucks. 506 00:26:41,004 --> 00:26:43,878 So close to departure, I usually wouldn't go out 507 00:26:43,903 --> 00:26:45,862 for coffee, but... 508 00:26:46,688 --> 00:26:49,993 I think it's because I felt a real connection. 509 00:26:50,115 --> 00:26:52,400 Yeah, me too. 510 00:26:56,988 --> 00:26:58,989 Do you ever feel like 511 00:26:59,158 --> 00:27:01,768 the difference between an average night 512 00:27:02,032 --> 00:27:04,564 and a night you'll never forget 513 00:27:05,279 --> 00:27:08,584 is simply making the choice to have it be so? 514 00:27:09,895 --> 00:27:12,389 It's all about attitude. 515 00:27:12,779 --> 00:27:15,150 I've seen lesser teams beat better ones 516 00:27:15,175 --> 00:27:17,488 for exactly that reason. 517 00:27:18,616 --> 00:27:21,418 So what about tonight? 518 00:27:22,079 --> 00:27:24,380 Average? 519 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,539 Or never forget? 520 00:27:29,613 --> 00:27:32,660 Dad was a carpenter, huh? 521 00:27:33,529 --> 00:27:36,065 What about your mother? What does she do? 522 00:27:36,090 --> 00:27:39,885 - She works at the racetrack. - What's her name? 523 00:27:39,909 --> 00:27:42,547 Married? Or maiden? 524 00:27:42,573 --> 00:27:44,502 The more the merrier. 525 00:27:44,527 --> 00:27:46,792 As much as I'd love to talk about my mother, 526 00:27:46,817 --> 00:27:49,110 I'd rather discuss my third date theory. 527 00:27:49,135 --> 00:27:52,045 - The theory about what a waste... - I remember. 528 00:27:52,721 --> 00:27:56,112 You wanna get out of here? Go back to your place? 529 00:27:56,137 --> 00:27:58,530 Unfortunately, my place is being painted. 530 00:27:58,555 --> 00:28:00,605 - I couldn't put you in that... - I don't mind... 531 00:28:00,630 --> 00:28:02,529 Couldn't put you. 532 00:28:03,124 --> 00:28:05,339 Unless, of course, you want to just call it a night. 533 00:28:05,364 --> 00:28:07,790 No! No, no, no. 534 00:28:07,815 --> 00:28:10,616 Um... it's fine. 535 00:28:11,186 --> 00:28:13,231 We can go back to my place. 536 00:28:13,256 --> 00:28:16,885 OK. 537 00:28:22,296 --> 00:28:24,998 I thought you lived in Rosedale? 538 00:28:25,622 --> 00:28:27,622 I moved. 539 00:28:48,869 --> 00:28:51,471 - Your place? - Five minutes away. 540 00:28:53,921 --> 00:28:56,121 Ah, I gotta get this. 541 00:28:56,146 --> 00:29:00,622 Hey. Yeah, I don't know how your date's going, but mine's... 542 00:29:00,647 --> 00:29:02,496 [Wow, this street's so quiet.] 543 00:29:02,521 --> 00:29:04,384 And deserted. 544 00:29:04,642 --> 00:29:08,242 427 Elmore Avenue. Cute. 545 00:29:08,267 --> 00:29:10,477 I didn't know you could find such a quiet, 546 00:29:10,502 --> 00:29:12,568 [quiet spot in the city.] 547 00:29:13,543 --> 00:29:16,175 - Is everything OK? - I gotta go. 548 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:17,600 - What? - I'm sorry. 549 00:29:18,628 --> 00:29:21,202 You're amazing. 550 00:29:22,180 --> 00:29:24,485 What? 551 00:29:26,618 --> 00:29:29,284 Suspend all judgment, ye who enter here. 552 00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:32,743 - Funny. - I wish I was joking. 553 00:29:56,041 --> 00:29:58,841 Don't worry, Nanna. Stand down, soldier. 554 00:29:58,867 --> 00:30:00,982 Jeremy's not our guy. 555 00:30:01,007 --> 00:30:02,905 He's another victim. 556 00:30:03,237 --> 00:30:06,169 Coffee cake? 557 00:30:08,396 --> 00:30:09,396 He's another victim. 558 00:30:09,421 --> 00:30:11,154 This sure beats peanuts. 559 00:30:11,156 --> 00:30:12,356 Yeah! 560 00:30:13,643 --> 00:30:15,586 I always thought that I was untouchable, 561 00:30:15,612 --> 00:30:18,281 and then along comes this thief in the night 562 00:30:18,306 --> 00:30:20,226 - and steals your life away. - It proves how little 563 00:30:20,251 --> 00:30:21,726 control you have. 564 00:30:21,751 --> 00:30:24,382 You know, I actually tracked down where they spent my money. 565 00:30:24,671 --> 00:30:26,621 The trail didn't go very far, though. 566 00:30:26,646 --> 00:30:30,285 - Let me guess: rare coin shops? - In Florida and Colorado. 567 00:30:30,310 --> 00:30:33,319 - They wouldn't tell me anything. - They guarantee the privacy of the purchaser. 568 00:30:33,344 --> 00:30:35,645 Even when he's spending somebody else's money. 569 00:30:35,670 --> 00:30:37,512 - He or she. - I can't believe this happened 570 00:30:37,537 --> 00:30:41,241 - because I went speed-dating. - Join the club. 571 00:30:41,265 --> 00:30:43,731 The fact that you both used the same speed-dating service 572 00:30:43,756 --> 00:30:46,363 - is the strongest lead we've got. - But neither of you went 573 00:30:46,388 --> 00:30:48,848 - on a date after the session. - Which means that 574 00:30:48,873 --> 00:30:51,246 only Constellations would have seen your questionnaires. 575 00:30:51,271 --> 00:30:55,115 Meaning we need to find out more about Enrique the love god. 576 00:30:55,725 --> 00:30:58,516 [Enrique's inside. We just have to sit here listening] 577 00:30:58,541 --> 00:31:00,855 [and see if he makes a move.] 578 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,365 - Keep the mic still! - [Yeah, yeah.] 579 00:31:03,390 --> 00:31:06,105 [How come I gotta sit on the cold, hard pavement?] 580 00:31:06,130 --> 00:31:08,790 And don't give me that "time-honoured tradition" speech 581 00:31:08,815 --> 00:31:11,521 - like at the dumpster. - Because homeless women 582 00:31:11,545 --> 00:31:14,464 garner too much attention. 583 00:31:15,086 --> 00:31:17,826 - Sh, sh. - It's Enrique. 584 00:31:17,851 --> 00:31:20,598 Listen. Our current arrangement has stagnated. 585 00:31:20,623 --> 00:31:22,427 It's time to turn things up a notch. 586 00:31:22,617 --> 00:31:26,530 How long before you can get here? Good. See you soon. 587 00:31:26,555 --> 00:31:29,348 - That sounds promising. - [Let's sit tight.] 588 00:31:29,373 --> 00:31:31,130 Sitting tight is all I've got. 589 00:31:31,156 --> 00:31:33,701 My ass is frozen. 590 00:31:36,924 --> 00:31:38,552 How's it going with Jules? 591 00:31:38,577 --> 00:31:40,846 [She's dating and not talking to me.] 592 00:31:40,871 --> 00:31:43,617 My dad is dating and talking way too much. 593 00:31:48,552 --> 00:31:50,087 I gotta take this. 594 00:31:50,112 --> 00:31:52,110 Stay in character! 595 00:31:52,135 --> 00:31:54,094 - Hello? - [I never had a man] 596 00:31:54,119 --> 00:31:57,687 [run away from me like that before. At least not that fast.] 597 00:31:57,712 --> 00:31:59,956 I'm sorry. It couldn't be helped. 598 00:31:59,980 --> 00:32:02,825 [Maybe we could try saying our goodbyes again in person.] 599 00:32:02,851 --> 00:32:05,888 [I wish I could. But I'm going back to Paris tonight.] 600 00:32:05,913 --> 00:32:08,336 - So miss your flight. - So romantic. 601 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,527 [It is very tempting, but I think last night] 602 00:32:10,552 --> 00:32:13,270 [may be all we have. It is a wonderful memory.] 603 00:32:13,296 --> 00:32:16,769 I bet we can amp that memory up, if you catch my drift. 604 00:32:16,794 --> 00:32:18,444 Subtle. 605 00:32:20,268 --> 00:32:24,426 I'm really sorry, but I have to go. 606 00:32:24,451 --> 00:32:26,819 Again. Be well, Sylvie. 607 00:32:26,844 --> 00:32:28,689 [Adieu, Matt.] 608 00:32:28,714 --> 00:32:32,014 - [What was that?] - Look who's coming. 609 00:32:32,039 --> 00:32:34,273 Ken Barnes. 610 00:32:39,953 --> 00:32:43,163 No. Forget it. Speed-dating is one thing, 611 00:32:43,188 --> 00:32:44,878 but going on a real date afterwards 612 00:32:44,903 --> 00:32:47,404 is completely different and you know what? It rhymes with "no." 613 00:32:47,429 --> 00:32:50,102 - I'll make it worth your while. - Ah, look at this. 614 00:32:50,127 --> 00:32:52,063 Cupid and Stupid hatch a plan. 615 00:32:52,088 --> 00:32:53,620 We're not taking applications today... 616 00:32:53,644 --> 00:32:55,658 That's not why we're here. We're representing two former 617 00:32:55,683 --> 00:32:58,577 Constellations customers who've become victims of identity theft 618 00:32:58,602 --> 00:33:01,058 after attending one of your speed-dating events. 619 00:33:01,083 --> 00:33:04,784 So you can hand over their money in full, or our next stop can be the 57th division. 620 00:33:04,809 --> 00:33:07,169 Slow down. I'm happy to offer a refund 621 00:33:07,194 --> 00:33:10,549 to any dissatisfied customer. But my business here is totally legit. 622 00:33:10,574 --> 00:33:12,678 Yeah, we can tell you're totally on the up and up. 623 00:33:12,703 --> 00:33:15,658 You and Lawyer-Doctor-Lumberjack here. 624 00:33:15,683 --> 00:33:17,550 I don't know anything about this. 625 00:33:17,575 --> 00:33:20,575 Oh, yeah? Then what's your story, hot stuff? 626 00:33:22,686 --> 00:33:24,390 I'm an actor. 627 00:33:25,447 --> 00:33:29,040 He's a ringer. Ken of the multiple identities 628 00:33:29,065 --> 00:33:31,766 and fabulous ass is a plant. 629 00:33:32,476 --> 00:33:34,024 You're gaming your own system. 630 00:33:34,049 --> 00:33:36,149 I consider it value-added, OK? 631 00:33:36,174 --> 00:33:38,498 The people that come to these events, they're vulnerable 632 00:33:38,522 --> 00:33:41,097 and fearful. Employees like Ken ensure they leave here 633 00:33:41,122 --> 00:33:43,661 feeling at least somebody finds them completely fascinating. 634 00:33:43,686 --> 00:33:45,937 "Be open. Love will find you." 635 00:33:45,962 --> 00:33:48,692 We're going to need information on every employee that works for you. 636 00:33:48,718 --> 00:33:50,581 - I can't do that. - Or I can call my friend 637 00:33:50,606 --> 00:33:54,068 over at The Star. Ask him to do a profile on Constellations, 638 00:33:54,093 --> 00:33:56,112 featuring Ken here as the kind of guy 639 00:33:56,137 --> 00:33:58,465 that women can expect to meet at one of your speed-dating events. 640 00:33:58,490 --> 00:34:00,310 How does that sound? 641 00:34:00,662 --> 00:34:02,390 I'll get you the files. 642 00:34:03,459 --> 00:34:06,727 Any employee with access to Constellations's customer files 643 00:34:06,752 --> 00:34:08,652 could have easily set up an identity theft. 644 00:34:08,677 --> 00:34:11,376 With that access, choosing the right target would be a breeze. 645 00:34:11,401 --> 00:34:14,516 They wouldn't even have to participate in the speed-dating part. 646 00:34:16,028 --> 00:34:18,672 - Are you OK? - Yeah, I am. I'm fine. 647 00:34:18,734 --> 00:34:20,767 Would you mind if we split these files 648 00:34:20,792 --> 00:34:23,421 and I worked on this from home? It's Jules. 649 00:34:23,446 --> 00:34:25,712 I missed her getting home from her date last night. 650 00:34:25,737 --> 00:34:27,642 I'd like to be there when she gets home today. 651 00:34:27,667 --> 00:34:30,563 Of course. Just meet me at the office when you're done. 652 00:34:30,588 --> 00:34:32,597 Mon petit Chou-Chou. 653 00:34:41,958 --> 00:34:44,281 - Hey. - Hello. 654 00:34:44,306 --> 00:34:47,403 - I thought we said goodbye? - We did. 655 00:34:47,538 --> 00:34:50,302 But I couldn't leave without a parting gift. 656 00:34:51,038 --> 00:34:52,955 What about your flight? 657 00:34:52,980 --> 00:34:55,357 - I pushed it. - Until when? 658 00:34:55,382 --> 00:34:56,714 Tomorrow. 659 00:34:57,417 --> 00:35:00,264 After that I guess... 660 00:35:05,725 --> 00:35:08,663 We think someone gained access to your personal computers, 661 00:35:08,688 --> 00:35:10,414 possibly through Constellations's 662 00:35:10,439 --> 00:35:12,255 - computer system. - I'm beginning to lose 663 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:15,238 - all faith in humanity. - I've lost mine completely. 664 00:35:15,263 --> 00:35:17,676 Now that would be a genuine shame. 665 00:35:17,701 --> 00:35:20,491 Let me know if any of these employee pictures look familiar. 666 00:35:20,989 --> 00:35:23,563 Now, you said after the speed-dating event 667 00:35:23,588 --> 00:35:25,488 that neither of you went out on any dates, correct? 668 00:35:25,513 --> 00:35:28,580 - I didn't get any pings. - I seriously can't believe that. 669 00:35:28,837 --> 00:35:30,957 Forget about other speed-daters. 670 00:35:30,982 --> 00:35:32,948 Did you meet anyone new around that time? 671 00:35:32,973 --> 00:35:35,784 I became friendly with a woman at my gym, Helene, 672 00:35:35,809 --> 00:35:37,992 but Cyclefit isn't a strong basis 673 00:35:38,017 --> 00:35:41,018 - for friendship, I suppose. - I met somebody too. 674 00:35:41,043 --> 00:35:44,377 Veronique. I really thought we had a connection, 675 00:35:44,402 --> 00:35:47,290 - but it fell through. - Fell through how? 676 00:35:47,315 --> 00:35:51,219 - She had to move back home, to Paris. - To Paris. 677 00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:55,304 - There! - Veronique. 678 00:35:55,329 --> 00:35:57,207 Oh, my God. Helene. 679 00:36:00,729 --> 00:36:03,031 Paris. 680 00:36:24,618 --> 00:36:26,728 Hey, what's the rush? 681 00:36:28,110 --> 00:36:30,111 I didn't want it to be awkward 682 00:36:30,136 --> 00:36:32,103 in case your daughter comes home. 683 00:36:32,128 --> 00:36:34,156 But... 684 00:36:35,033 --> 00:36:39,553 how about you relax, 685 00:36:39,578 --> 00:36:43,480 and I make us breakfast for dinner? 686 00:36:44,963 --> 00:36:47,030 I love breakfast for dinner! 687 00:36:47,055 --> 00:36:48,882 Mm, good. 688 00:36:49,104 --> 00:36:51,104 Leave it to me. 689 00:36:51,129 --> 00:36:53,803 Have a shower and... 690 00:36:55,383 --> 00:36:57,009 take your time. 691 00:36:57,034 --> 00:36:59,301 OK. 692 00:37:55,287 --> 00:37:58,164 Adieu, Matt Shade. 693 00:38:00,926 --> 00:38:05,108 - You lost? - No, I wanted to surprise you. 694 00:38:05,809 --> 00:38:08,289 I've rebooked my flight. 695 00:38:08,314 --> 00:38:10,042 Fantastic. 696 00:38:11,055 --> 00:38:12,917 So... 697 00:38:13,430 --> 00:38:16,210 Do you like it? I'm curious. 698 00:38:16,235 --> 00:38:18,793 Why would you buy me this CD? 699 00:38:19,324 --> 00:38:22,735 Well, it was playing in the bookstore when we met. 700 00:38:24,244 --> 00:38:27,103 I'm sure I saw you singing along. 701 00:38:27,128 --> 00:38:30,194 Liking Sarah McLachlan is a lie I told 702 00:38:30,219 --> 00:38:32,814 on my Constellations questionnaire, 703 00:38:32,839 --> 00:38:35,996 along with the lie I told about what I do for a living. 704 00:38:36,021 --> 00:38:38,485 I saw the pictures in your office. 705 00:38:38,510 --> 00:38:41,086 So you've lived a whole other life. 706 00:38:41,111 --> 00:38:45,534 I did, before someone stole it from me. 707 00:38:45,559 --> 00:38:47,848 Now I'm focused on my new life, 708 00:38:47,873 --> 00:38:50,739 as a private investigator who's been hired 709 00:38:50,764 --> 00:38:52,895 to catch an identity thief. 710 00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,811 And I bet if I looked in your purse right now, 711 00:38:55,836 --> 00:38:58,403 I'd find a couple of rare coins, wouldn't I? 712 00:39:02,250 --> 00:39:03,964 Matt. 713 00:39:03,989 --> 00:39:06,769 What happened upstairs, between us? 714 00:39:08,048 --> 00:39:09,908 That wasn't business. 715 00:39:09,933 --> 00:39:13,396 It felt a lot more like pleasure, I'll give you that. 716 00:39:14,123 --> 00:39:16,054 Work with me. 717 00:39:16,570 --> 00:39:20,305 We could make a lot of money together. 718 00:39:20,330 --> 00:39:22,297 A lot. 719 00:39:24,518 --> 00:39:26,934 See, here's the thing. 720 00:39:26,959 --> 00:39:29,258 I've already got a partner. 721 00:39:29,481 --> 00:39:33,549 In fact, you should meet her. 722 00:39:35,386 --> 00:39:37,387 Hi. 723 00:39:37,412 --> 00:39:41,278 Agh! It burns! 724 00:39:41,303 --> 00:39:43,971 I know. Try rubbing your eyes really hard. 725 00:39:53,932 --> 00:39:56,770 No, don't. Don't. 726 00:39:57,699 --> 00:40:00,707 So cute. 727 00:40:00,814 --> 00:40:03,048 Aw. 728 00:40:06,841 --> 00:40:11,103 - It's the pepper spray. - Yeah. Me too. 729 00:40:11,128 --> 00:40:13,128 - Ow. - Ah, ah, ah! 730 00:40:19,724 --> 00:40:22,425 Sylvie was a systems expert who did some work 731 00:40:22,450 --> 00:40:24,623 for the speed-dating company over a year ago. 732 00:40:24,648 --> 00:40:26,714 She set up a mirror site that allowed her access 733 00:40:26,739 --> 00:40:28,492 to everyone's profiles. 734 00:40:28,517 --> 00:40:30,484 The police found her rare coin collection. 735 00:40:30,509 --> 00:40:33,708 It may take some time, but you'll get your money back. 736 00:40:34,256 --> 00:40:35,799 Thank you. 737 00:40:35,824 --> 00:40:38,423 I feel like you've given me a new lease on life. 738 00:40:38,448 --> 00:40:40,878 I can echo that. 739 00:40:40,903 --> 00:40:43,082 You know, the strange thing is this really feels like 740 00:40:43,107 --> 00:40:45,051 one of those worst thing-best thing scenarios. 741 00:40:45,076 --> 00:40:48,235 - Oh, yeah? How's that? - Sometimes it's good 742 00:40:48,260 --> 00:40:51,815 to remember starting over's not the end of the world. 743 00:40:52,750 --> 00:40:54,218 Shall we? 744 00:40:54,243 --> 00:40:55,879 Yeah. 745 00:40:56,581 --> 00:40:58,388 Wow. 746 00:40:59,086 --> 00:41:02,876 We could give Constellations a run for its money. 747 00:41:19,584 --> 00:41:22,408 OK, look. 748 00:41:22,433 --> 00:41:25,221 - Honey, this is over. - What is? 749 00:41:25,246 --> 00:41:30,033 - Us not being able to talk to each other. - Yeah, I don't like it either. 750 00:41:30,058 --> 00:41:33,490 I trust you and I know you're smart. 751 00:41:33,515 --> 00:41:35,418 But these boys coming around, 752 00:41:35,443 --> 00:41:37,458 all I can see is my little girl 753 00:41:37,482 --> 00:41:39,783 and all I want to do is protect you. 754 00:41:40,022 --> 00:41:42,772 I was talking at you and not to you, 755 00:41:42,971 --> 00:41:45,957 - and I'm sorry, OK? - OK. 756 00:41:45,982 --> 00:41:49,095 Man. I have just come from the best... 757 00:41:49,651 --> 00:41:51,137 run. 758 00:41:51,162 --> 00:41:55,173 - In hard-soled shoes? - Dad, maybe you should... 759 00:41:55,281 --> 00:41:57,915 go take a shower and get cleaned up. 760 00:41:57,940 --> 00:41:59,782 From your run. 761 00:41:59,807 --> 00:42:01,840 That's a good idea. 762 00:42:05,407 --> 00:42:08,347 So that's what they mean by "walk of shame." 763 00:42:08,372 --> 00:42:11,272 Honey, I know I said that we should talk about everything, 764 00:42:11,297 --> 00:42:13,260 - but not that. Never that. - Agreed. 765 00:42:13,285 --> 00:42:15,551 - Yeah. - Yeah. Wow. 766 00:42:18,190 --> 00:42:19,773 What's with you? 767 00:42:19,798 --> 00:42:22,031 Part of Sylvie's M.O. was to make sure her victim 768 00:42:22,056 --> 00:42:24,913 didn't get any date request pings after the speed-dating event. 769 00:42:24,938 --> 00:42:27,018 - To make them feel vulnerable. - Mm-hmm. 770 00:42:27,043 --> 00:42:29,028 - Smart. - Once her mirror site 771 00:42:29,053 --> 00:42:32,216 was dismantled, my phone blew up. Ping city. 772 00:42:32,241 --> 00:42:34,895 - Are you going to answer any? - We'll see. 773 00:42:35,007 --> 00:42:38,046 So tell me, does it count as the end of a slump 774 00:42:38,071 --> 00:42:39,796 if sex was part of the con? 775 00:42:40,170 --> 00:42:42,370 Again... there was no slump. 776 00:42:42,395 --> 00:42:45,214 - You're evading the question. - A gentleman never tells. 777 00:42:45,528 --> 00:42:47,540 You know, I feel like we never really 778 00:42:47,564 --> 00:42:49,352 gave our speed date a chance. 779 00:42:49,377 --> 00:42:51,322 As the French say: c'est la vie. 780 00:42:51,348 --> 00:42:54,361 - What else do the French say? - I think you're the expert there. 781 00:42:54,385 --> 00:42:56,442 Most of the time, she was speechless. 782 00:42:56,467 --> 00:42:59,880 - Ugh, too much information. - You wanted to know. 783 00:42:59,905 --> 00:43:02,377 Speaking of which, we have time now. 784 00:43:02,578 --> 00:43:04,206 If I asked about your ex-manager, 785 00:43:04,231 --> 00:43:06,327 would you deflect with some funny line 786 00:43:06,352 --> 00:43:08,221 or tell me what really happened? 787 00:43:08,246 --> 00:43:11,968 In a nutshell? I trusted the wrong person. 788 00:43:12,149 --> 00:43:14,015 Hate when that happens. 789 00:43:14,696 --> 00:43:16,820 You know, this speed-dating thing 790 00:43:16,844 --> 00:43:19,378 reminds me of what my dad used to call the "two-minute you." 791 00:43:19,403 --> 00:43:20,419 I'm listening. 792 00:43:20,444 --> 00:43:22,471 Well, anyone can put on a show for two minutes. 793 00:43:22,687 --> 00:43:25,455 But it's someone you want to spend that third minute with... 794 00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:28,109 that's the person you're looking for. 795 00:43:29,677 --> 00:43:32,651 That's a solid theory. 796 00:43:32,676 --> 00:43:36,984 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com -62267

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