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1
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,744
Does that work for you guys?
Was the accent good?
2
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:47,379
No? I'm not doing it again.
3
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,548
And what the hell
are we looking at here?
4
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:52,117
Is this
an alien abduction movie?
5
00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:53,786
Change this.
6
00:00:53,788 --> 00:00:58,290
But ruling them
isn't enough for this king.
7
00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:01,193
What's this now? A dark room
full of pot smokers.
8
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:04,563
This is how we're starting
the movie? Change!
9
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,232
Our story begins here
10
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:11,470
in this Wild Westerworld.
11
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,440
What the fuck is this?!
12
00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:18,343
You know what? Forget it.
Just start this shit.
13
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,282
KING: Peasants
of Wild Westerworld,
14
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:26,785
welcome to the sporting event
of the weekend.
15
00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:35,627
[cheering]
16
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:41,166
It's Aeneas!
It's A-E-N-E-A-S.
17
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:43,302
Aeneas.
18
00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:46,538
Shit. I think
I'm going to go and, um...
19
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:50,109
I think I'm going to go to the
tent and have my cock sucked.
20
00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:52,678
[farts]
Oh, fuck. I think I just...
21
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,380
- I just farted.
- Up we go.
22
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:58,617
- This smells awful.
- I think I just shat my pants.
23
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,220
[mumbling]
24
00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:03,655
Gonna get myself cleaned up.
25
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:06,725
Fuck off!
Master of Secrets, let's go.
26
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:11,296
- [squish]
- KING: No!
27
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:14,533
What is this "Anus" shit?
28
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:18,871
His name is Aeneas!
A-E-N-E-A-S.
29
00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:22,174
You fucking peasants
are so fucking uneducated.
30
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,610
"Anus."
Put the fucking signs away!
31
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:32,484
Hello, girls.
32
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:49,568
[King Barbo laughs]
33
00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:52,571
My name is Anus!
34
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:55,674
A-N-U-S!
35
00:02:55,676 --> 00:03:00,846
[screams]
36
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:09,388
♪♪
37
00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:27,666
I said wine!
Give me some wine now!
38
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:31,670
Don't fucking spill it on me,
you fucking idiot!
39
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:34,773
[gasping]
40
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:44,650
Yes?
41
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:46,985
- My lord.
- Yes?
42
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,987
I have seen him.
43
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,392
Who have you seen?
44
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,927
The one who predicts
our future.
45
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,963
The one who makes us envious.
46
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,465
The one who paints pictures
of life and death
47
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:04,069
with one fell swoop
of a tweet.
48
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,382
You brought me here
for this?
49
00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:19,951
I swear he was out here.
50
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:22,554
This is boring.
51
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:23,822
Boring.
52
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,425
Oh!
53
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:28,460
There!
54
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:42,341
Wow! Oh, my, he came back!
55
00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:43,909
Man, it's such an honor.
56
00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:46,345
Uh, it's like cool, man.
57
00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:47,946
Wow!
58
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:50,949
- I've seen your future.
- Yeah, I mean, look at that!
59
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,951
It's so bright,
I gotta wear shades.
60
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,720
You know what I'm sayin'?
61
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:56,955
Unless you quit the violence
around here,
62
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,758
all you motherfuckers
are gonna die.
63
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,460
Now, I'm telling you.
64
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:04,496
You wanna be in any more books
or TV shows,
65
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,498
y'all better stop
killing each other.
66
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:18,510
And it shall be decreed thus.
67
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:21,680
No longer shall we live
in a land where the defenseless
68
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:25,016
fall prey to vicious predators
and sexual deviants.
69
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:29,588
Let us restore the peace which
our ancestors once enjoyed.
70
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,456
Excuse me, my lord,
71
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:34,860
but there has never been peace
in Wild Westerworld.
72
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:37,562
- No?
- No, my lord.
73
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:41,032
Okay, um,
let it thus be decreed
74
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:43,435
that it is time
to come out of the Dark Ages,
75
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:46,905
into a new age
of everlasting peace.
76
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:50,409
And that is why I want you
to join us here
77
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:53,145
at Kingshire tomorrow,
sundown,
78
00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:55,680
for Purgefest 3000.
79
00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:57,149
Sounds good, doesn't it?
80
00:06:57,151 --> 00:07:01,787
I'm sorry, my lord,
but did you say "purge?"
81
00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:04,656
Yes! Yes, you impotent
cocksucker.
82
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,158
Yes, I did.
83
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,160
But isn't a purge
where you violently remove
84
00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:09,895
a group of people?
85
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:12,597
No, no, no. It's more like
a bar mitzvah with music
86
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,199
and just a few whores.
87
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:16,101
Make sure they're big tits.
I like the big tits.
88
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,702
You know that.
89
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:19,504
After you've sent out
the invites,
90
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:22,641
and everyone comes
to the party,
91
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:26,878
and we've ushered them
all into the hall,
92
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:31,450
I want you to make sure
that the doors to the hall
93
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:34,052
are locked from the outside.
94
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,927
And then I want you
to make sure
95
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:46,965
that we have plenty
of dragonfire because...
96
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:52,537
I'm going
to burn everyone alive.
97
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:59,644
[video game beeping]
98
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:15,494
[applause]
99
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:16,995
Thank you, thank you.
100
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:20,966
No, really, really, thank you.
It was nothing.
101
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:23,802
Now it's your turn,
baby brother.
102
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,270
[beeping]
103
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:28,006
Brendan, what are you doing?
It's your turn.
104
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,075
Hold on, hold on.
I almost got Miraxus.
105
00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:31,877
Oh.
106
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,211
Flew away.
107
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:35,780
Hodog.
108
00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:38,984
Our father, Lord Deadard
Stork, is watching,
109
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,219
and so is our
mother, Lady Stork,
110
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,621
and your ginger sister, Sansia,
111
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:46,925
and the Polish baker,
the Puerto Rican gardener,
112
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:50,795
the carpenter,
and a guy named Carlos.
113
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:52,597
Hey!
114
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,880
[crowd laughing]
115
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:14,819
Okay, okay, which one of you
was a marksman at 10?
116
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,755
I see.
117
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,891
Well, keep practicing, Brendan.
You'll get there soon enough.
118
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,694
I don't want to pressure you
or anything,
119
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,296
but you're embarrassing
our entire house.
120
00:09:24,298 --> 00:09:26,765
Try to at least hit something
near the target this time.
121
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:27,966
Just shoot.
122
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,802
Ah! Ow, ow, ow!
123
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:33,872
I'm all right.
I'm okay, I'm fine, it's okay.
124
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,248
So what's happening?
125
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,716
It's stuck.
126
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:47,052
Oh, well.
We did our best, did we?
127
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:49,821
That's all they can ask for.
128
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:52,724
Look! It's him!
129
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:55,026
My God, he's handsome.
130
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,261
Excuse me.
131
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,930
What's up,
you horny bitches!
132
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,865
Can I get an autograph?
133
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,936
Nothing's up, really.
134
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,305
We're just talking about
going to get some cheeses.
135
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:09,307
- Right, guys?
- Yeah, yeah.
136
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:12,944
What about the wall?
137
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,646
The gate is stuck,
Commander Doe.
138
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:17,215
Well, we'll do this
the old-fashioned way.
139
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,119
Get some help here,
brothers.
140
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,687
- Yes, Commander Doe.
- Yes! Yes!
141
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:23,788
Pull!
142
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,091
Pull!
143
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:28,360
Harder! Harder!
144
00:10:28,362 --> 00:10:30,762
Ham, Ham.
145
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,098
Why are you grabbing
my nipples?
146
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:37,268
Uh, I saw
the other guys helping,
147
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:39,104
so I thought I'd join in.
148
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:41,740
How does that help the gate
come down?
149
00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:44,876
Yes? Well, indeed.
Yeah, good point.
150
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:47,812
Uh, my deepest apologies.
It won't happen again.
151
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,247
It's stuck.
152
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:52,684
Men, this is what you get
153
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:55,186
when you let
Lord Trumpet the Orange
154
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:59,090
build the wall
with the outsiders' money.
155
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,861
Men, get the torches!
156
00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:04,929
There's someone coming.
157
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,033
Hello, everybody!
158
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:11,770
It's me,
Lord Trumpet of Orange,
159
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:15,073
and I want to give you
an update on my ratings.
160
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,441
They're incredible.
161
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:19,044
They're amazing.
They're tremendous.
162
00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:20,278
Talk about the wall, sir.
163
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,813
Shut up, Miller.
164
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:25,717
This amazing wall,
which I installed
165
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,852
and was paid
for by the brown people,
166
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:31,222
who, by the way,
did not vote for me.
167
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,058
Very stupid.
It's sad, frankly.
168
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,859
No brown people, sir.
169
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:38,763
This wall was built
with the finest wood
170
00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:42,267
in all of Wild Westerworld.
171
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:46,738
And as you can see,
it's huge.
172
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,740
Just like my penis.
173
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:54,179
[Denise moaning]
My stars!
174
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:58,149
You are like a stallion
of Valdar!
175
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:05,757
Ohh! Ride me!
176
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:09,427
Ride me to the end of the world,
you beast!
177
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:14,232
[speaking Spanish]
178
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:18,036
Denise, my skanky,
slutty sister, there you are.
179
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:21,172
Look what just arrived
from Kingshire.
180
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:27,879
It looks like
an invitation to a party.
181
00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:33,017
When they write
the history of my reign,
182
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:35,120
it will start today.
183
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:37,088
[roars]
184
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,892
How exciting.
What day is it?
185
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:43,795
February 31st! Now we shall
travel to Kingshire at once
186
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:47,398
and deliver a special surprise
to our friend, the king.
187
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,368
- I thought you hated the king.
- Of course I hate him.
188
00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:51,236
He's flatulating
all over my throne.
189
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:54,372
But if you hate him, then why
will you give him a surprise?
190
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:57,242
Never mind. Pack your things
and bring the savage with you!
191
00:12:57,244 --> 00:13:00,011
[moaning]
192
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,846
Ohh!
193
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,887
Good evening.
194
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:11,923
We're going to a party
in Kingshire.
195
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,158
Are there snacks?
196
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,993
More snacks
than you can imagine.
197
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,427
Can I come?
198
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:19,264
Of course you can come!
You're the surprise!
199
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:21,399
Wait. I'm not popping out
of a cake again.
200
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:24,035
We're going to give him
our dragon?
201
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,971
No, no, not exactly.
202
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,540
We shall hide Piff
inside a pie,
203
00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:30,442
and the king will cut it,
and then Piff will pop out
204
00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:32,143
and eat the king
in front of everyone,
205
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,913
and I will be the new ruler
of Wild Westerworld.
206
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,414
Did you just say,
"Eat the king?"
207
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,483
Yes, I did.
Do you have a problem with that?
208
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,351
Well, I'm actually
a pescatarian,
209
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:44,222
so I don't eat any living
creature apart from fish
210
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,891
because they deserve it,
because they're dickheads.
211
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:49,527
Then just chew his head off
and spit it out.
212
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,329
What do I care?
As long as he dies.
213
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,832
Can I choke him out?
I'm not very good around blood.
214
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,166
Yes, I just need him dead.
215
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:58,303
Hold on,
I've got a better idea.
216
00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:00,405
What about Killer here?
217
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:01,573
Uh, no.
218
00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:03,875
You will do the killing.
219
00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:05,343
Well, I've already
named him Killer,
220
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,612
so it just seems appropriate
that he should kill.
221
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,314
I said no.
You will kill him.
222
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:11,482
Fine, I'll kill him.
223
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:14,419
He'll be dead to you,
just like you're dead to me.
224
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:17,589
Meet me by the pile of horseshit
when he's done with you.
225
00:14:17,591 --> 00:14:20,058
Which one?
226
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:23,361
[moaning]
227
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:27,899
Diego, my moon and my stars,
228
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,968
can you go harder?
229
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:35,039
Harder! Harder like you're
taking me to the moon!
230
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:38,243
[speaking Spanish]
231
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:40,945
Yes! Yes!
232
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,382
♪ Oh ♪
233
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,317
♪ Oh ♪
234
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:47,418
♪ Oh ♪
235
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:52,123
♪ Oh ♪
236
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,925
♪ Oh ♪
237
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:55,894
♪ Oh ♪
238
00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:56,995
♪ She likes ♪
239
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,663
♪ Boys ♪
240
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:00,899
♪ Parties ♪
241
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:02,200
♪ Style ♪
242
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:03,234
♪ Fame ♪
243
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,469
♪ She likes ♪
244
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,037
♪ Glamor ♪
245
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,939
♪ Runway ♪
246
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,241
♪ Style ♪
247
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,276
♪ Fame ♪
248
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:12,577
♪ She likes gossip ♪
249
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,379
♪ Oh ♪
250
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:16,114
♪ Oh ♪
251
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:17,116
♪ Oh ♪
252
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,084
♪ She likes gossip ♪
253
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,986
♪ Oh ♪
254
00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:23,955
♪ Oh ♪
255
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:25,990
♪ Oh ♪
256
00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:27,492
♪ She likes gossip ♪
257
00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:29,093
♪ Oh ♪
258
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,195
[owl screeching]
259
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:33,131
[screams]
260
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,198
[gasps]
261
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,934
Oh, my God!
262
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:39,237
It's got like an invitation.
It's a party!
263
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:42,674
Clearly that's for me.
This is my pool.
264
00:15:42,676 --> 00:15:44,008
Yeah, but...
265
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,987
[gasps]
266
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,388
Thank you!
267
00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:00,224
Phone, Sebastian,
give me my phone.
268
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:01,526
Thank you.
269
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,466
Oh, my God! Me too!
270
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:12,337
Pack your things
because we're going to a party!
271
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,540
Oh, well, this says
it's like,
272
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:19,077
"Genocide,
but without the Jews.
273
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:22,013
And bring your own whores."
274
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,581
Oh, my God, you're right.
275
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:26,050
We could be the whores!
[laughs]
276
00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:29,153
Oh, my God,
we're gonna be so famous!
277
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,055
Come on, Sebastian!
278
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:32,223
[vomits]
279
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:35,193
Why?
280
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:38,029
Because it's Purgefest.
281
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:40,098
Duh.
[vomits]
282
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,604
Oh, no! Oh, no!
I told you guys.
283
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,206
I told you we shouldn't
have come here.
284
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:50,641
No! We're going to die!
285
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:53,311
Gods, help us!
[screaming]
286
00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:57,081
Where are you going?
You fucking cowards!
287
00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:59,650
HAM: Johnny, do something!
288
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:00,785
Do the hair!
289
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,353
Yeah!
290
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,723
The dance magic!
Yeah, do it, Johnny!
291
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:11,029
♪♪ [disco]
292
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:19,704
♪♪ [continues]
293
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,774
Shake your hair, bitch!
Do it!
294
00:17:28,782 --> 00:17:30,815
Oh, that's hot!
That's hot!
295
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:32,617
Oh, yeah, yeah!
Go for all of them.
296
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,185
All of them!
297
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,357
Wow!
298
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,426
Fuck me!
299
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:49,367
Do it, Johnny! Do...
300
00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:51,235
[whooshing]
301
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,404
Holy mother of...
302
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,673
Holy shit!
303
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:04,482
Uncle Tony, Lord of Iron!
304
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:07,518
Holy shit!
How did you do that?
305
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,520
Screw my suit.
You guys going to Purgefest?
306
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:12,190
Ah, my family wouldn't
want me there. I'm a bastard.
307
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,491
Your family
won't want you there?
308
00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:15,793
I'm your family!
You know what you need?
309
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,228
You need some makeup.
310
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:19,130
Make yourself pretty
on the inside.
311
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:20,698
- Does that work?
- Does it work?
312
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,233
How do you think
I met your mother?
313
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:23,601
- You know my mother?
- Of course!
314
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,269
- I'm your uncle.
- Who is she?
315
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,839
Listen, go to Purgefest,
you'll meet your mother.
316
00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:29,874
Can't go right now.
I gotta go to Segovia.
317
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:33,744
I got a hot widow in a castle,
and she's waiting for me.
318
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:35,546
But you guys,
I'll see you at Purgefest?
319
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,715
- All right, good.
- Later, guys.
320
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,350
- So cool.
- [whoosh]
321
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:41,452
Everyone has a weird uncle.
322
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,488
- [pop]
- Sorry, Father.
323
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:45,823
I was aiming for the target,
but he was in the way.
324
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,358
It's okay, boy.
325
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:51,329
Lord Stork, Lady Stork.
326
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,164
The guardsmen have returned
from the hillside.
327
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,866
They captured the deserter
from the wall.
328
00:18:54,868 --> 00:18:57,235
Tell the men
to saddle the horses.
329
00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:59,804
- Brendan, you come with me.
- Are you sure, Deadard?
330
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:03,541
Don't you think he's too young
to see such things?
331
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,776
He won't be a child forever,
my dear.
332
00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:07,478
This will be
a good lesson for him.
333
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,213
Come on, Brendan.
334
00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:13,751
I will teach you
how to deal with the deserters.
335
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,686
I got peanuts!
336
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:16,721
Beer!
337
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,689
Toy heads for the kids!
338
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:21,659
Peanuts! Peanuts!
339
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,828
Is there anything you'd like
to say in your defense
340
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,696
before I deliver your sentence?
341
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:28,833
Yeah. I know I hopped the wall,
but I'm not a goddamn deserter.
342
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,302
I know I shouldn't have ran,
but I saw what I saw,
343
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:32,804
so I went as fast
as me legs could carry.
344
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:34,739
You might think I deserve
to die like a dog.
345
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:36,441
People won't hear the truth.
Made a cat eat all your ears.
346
00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:39,911
And the devil ate the cat,
and that's all.
347
00:19:39,913 --> 00:19:42,380
Does anyone understand
what this man said?
348
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:43,581
No.
349
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,717
Very well.
Off with his head.
350
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:47,852
Yay!
351
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,258
Fucking gobshite.
352
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:56,461
[low audio] In the name of
Walter of the House of Falafel...
353
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:57,962
DIRECTOR: Cut!
Cut, cut, cut, cut!
354
00:19:57,964 --> 00:20:00,565
We can't hear you!
Where's the boom guy?
355
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:06,270
- Is he union?
- No!
356
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:08,940
Yay! I'm free!
357
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:13,244
In the name of Walter
of the House of Falafel,
358
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:17,915
I, Deadard, son of Fendrial,
husband of Lady Stork,
359
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:22,353
lover of Athena, Catrina,
Seraphina, and Salvador,
360
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:24,822
father of Macauley McCulkin,
361
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,658
Boped, Ariana, Celsia...
362
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,527
Oh, just do it already!
363
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:30,962
Who said that?
364
00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:32,663
Father. Sorry, I just...
365
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,932
I can't stand
the sight of real blood.
366
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:36,634
This is the old way, boy.
367
00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:39,737
The man who passes the sentence
must deliver the blow.
368
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,806
Now, put that game down.
Come here.
369
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:42,940
I'll chop his head off.
370
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:46,777
Hodog.
371
00:20:49,315 --> 00:20:52,316
You may go.
My boy will hold him down.
372
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:54,719
Now hold him. Hold still.
373
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:56,487
Steady.
374
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:03,961
I told you to stay steady!
375
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:08,466
Here comes Lady Stork.
Don't say a word.
376
00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:10,868
Oh, hello, my dear.
What brings you here?
377
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:12,303
Where's Brendan?
378
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:13,704
He had a small accident,
379
00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:15,873
but it's nothing
the maester can't fix.
380
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:20,444
We just received an invitation
to Kingshire for Purgefest 3000.
381
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:21,946
What is that?
382
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:25,016
A party to purge all violence
from the kingdoms.
383
00:21:25,018 --> 00:21:26,817
That is wonderful!
384
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:28,786
I think that
you should go alone.
385
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,454
Our enemies will be there,
386
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:32,556
and it may be dangerous
for the children.
387
00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:34,859
- What say you?
- Father!
388
00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:37,628
Prince Jizzy will be there,
and I must meet him.
389
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,831
He's the love of my life.
I'm going to marry him.
390
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:42,833
I want to lie naked
in his bed
391
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:45,636
while he drizzles hot honey
all over my body.
392
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,071
Now, now, don't get upset.
393
00:21:47,073 --> 00:21:50,308
There's no safer place
in the entire realm
394
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:52,009
than Kingshire, my dear.
395
00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:54,979
I'm certain that nothing bad
will happen to us.
396
00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:57,848
My children, pack your bags.
397
00:21:57,850 --> 00:21:59,850
We're going to the capital!
398
00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:09,894
♪♪ [fanfare]
399
00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:17,001
♪♪ [hip-hop]
400
00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:21,005
[clapping]
401
00:22:23,576 --> 00:22:24,642
- [spits]
- [clang]
402
00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:29,947
And now the benevolent,
403
00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:31,682
the magnificent,
404
00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:34,685
and the extremely dignified
405
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,721
Prince Jizzy!
406
00:22:36,723 --> 00:22:38,923
[singular clapping]
407
00:22:38,925 --> 00:22:40,524
CURSEY: That's my boy!
408
00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:49,100
♪ Ladies, ladies
All the sexy ladies ♪
409
00:22:49,102 --> 00:22:52,603
♪ Longing for a prince
like me ♪
410
00:22:52,605 --> 00:22:55,873
♪ Some of them
be cherry red ♪
411
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:58,576
♪ Some be lewd
and some be shrewd ♪
412
00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:02,546
♪ All longing
for a prince like me ♪
413
00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:04,749
Mongrel,
you're in the wrong key!
414
00:23:04,751 --> 00:23:08,419
I believe it is the right one,
Your Grace.
415
00:23:08,421 --> 00:23:10,488
What did you say?
416
00:23:10,490 --> 00:23:12,456
That you are right,
Your Grace.
417
00:23:12,458 --> 00:23:15,426
I believe the only right key
418
00:23:15,428 --> 00:23:18,396
is the one that will open
the door to this shithole,
419
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:22,133
so we can all get out before
this penis starts singing again.
420
00:23:22,135 --> 00:23:23,934
What did you call me?
421
00:23:23,936 --> 00:23:28,072
Your Mostly Honorable...
422
00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:31,075
Prince Jizzy, of course.
423
00:23:31,077 --> 00:23:33,010
That's what I thought.
424
00:23:34,614 --> 00:23:36,113
Mongrel, kill him!
425
00:23:44,824 --> 00:23:46,157
Mommy!
426
00:23:46,159 --> 00:23:49,160
Ha! That's it!
Run to mommy, ya bitch.
427
00:23:49,162 --> 00:23:51,762
Mongrel,
go play something for me.
428
00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:54,165
Go!
[laughs]
429
00:23:54,167 --> 00:23:55,766
Mommy!
430
00:23:58,204 --> 00:24:02,640
♪♪ [hard rock]
431
00:24:04,544 --> 00:24:07,545
I like my boy strong.
432
00:24:09,682 --> 00:24:11,749
Ooh!
433
00:24:11,751 --> 00:24:12,850
Yes!
434
00:24:16,122 --> 00:24:17,955
[no audible dialogue]
435
00:24:26,766 --> 00:24:29,567
Now, good boy.
436
00:24:37,844 --> 00:24:40,110
Did you get your invitation
to Purgefest?
437
00:24:40,112 --> 00:24:42,780
I got it.
It's a good plan.
438
00:24:42,782 --> 00:24:44,548
What are you talking about?
439
00:24:44,550 --> 00:24:46,884
It's the stupidest idea
I've ever heard.
440
00:24:46,886 --> 00:24:51,055
Just another one of my husband's
stupid, bloody ideas
441
00:24:51,057 --> 00:24:52,823
that drunk bastard...
442
00:24:52,825 --> 00:24:54,258
What?
443
00:24:54,260 --> 00:24:56,861
It's a brilliant opportunity
to kill him.
444
00:24:56,863 --> 00:24:58,863
What did you say?
445
00:24:58,865 --> 00:25:03,767
I said Purgefest
is an excellent opportunity
446
00:25:03,769 --> 00:25:06,003
to kill your husband.
447
00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:10,207
You're not just
a beautiful face, are you?
448
00:25:10,209 --> 00:25:13,010
You've got stuff going on
up there.
449
00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:17,915
I love it
when you talk dirty to me.
450
00:25:17,917 --> 00:25:19,917
After the king is dead,
451
00:25:19,919 --> 00:25:22,953
our son will take the throne.
452
00:25:22,955 --> 00:25:24,622
- Jizzy?
- Jizzy.
453
00:25:24,624 --> 00:25:26,190
- Jizzy.
- Jizzy.
454
00:25:26,192 --> 00:25:28,292
- Jizzy?
- Jizzy.
455
00:25:28,294 --> 00:25:29,727
Jizzy!
456
00:25:30,796 --> 00:25:31,829
Jizzy!
457
00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:35,232
Ohh!
458
00:25:40,239 --> 00:25:41,872
Mother?
459
00:25:46,979 --> 00:25:49,246
Hello, s-s-s...
Nephew.
460
00:25:52,685 --> 00:25:54,785
I heard someone in this
direction calling my name.
461
00:25:54,787 --> 00:25:56,654
Oh?
462
00:25:56,656 --> 00:25:59,590
Oh, honey, you must be
hearing things.
463
00:25:59,592 --> 00:26:02,092
Why don't you go run along
and play with yourself?
464
00:26:02,094 --> 00:26:04,094
I'm not finished
with your uncle.
465
00:26:04,096 --> 00:26:05,263
Can I go shoot peasants
with my crossbow?
466
00:26:05,264 --> 00:26:07,831
No, honey, not today.
467
00:26:07,833 --> 00:26:09,833
I just can't be bothered
with any maimed bumpkins
468
00:26:09,835 --> 00:26:12,870
whining with their retched
families at the castle gates.
469
00:26:12,872 --> 00:26:14,772
- Please, Mother!
- Not today!
470
00:26:15,975 --> 00:26:17,775
Sorry. I'm sorry.
471
00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:18,943
I'm sorry.
472
00:26:22,949 --> 00:26:24,114
What's this?
473
00:26:25,952 --> 00:26:27,952
- Is this a toy from the future?
- [laser shots]
474
00:26:27,954 --> 00:26:31,322
Oh, dear, oh, dear.
Give your uncle his hand back!
475
00:26:31,324 --> 00:26:32,890
Give your uncle
his hand back now!
476
00:26:32,892 --> 00:26:35,092
No way!
It's too much fun!
477
00:26:35,094 --> 00:26:36,093
No!
478
00:26:36,095 --> 00:26:37,828
You know what?
479
00:26:37,830 --> 00:26:38,996
Darling.
480
00:26:40,967 --> 00:26:42,299
I changed my mind.
481
00:26:42,301 --> 00:26:46,070
You can go shoot
the peasants now, darling.
482
00:26:46,072 --> 00:26:47,805
Thank you, Mother.
483
00:27:05,124 --> 00:27:07,157
♪♪ [fanfare]
484
00:27:07,159 --> 00:27:09,093
Hello, everybody.
485
00:27:09,095 --> 00:27:14,698
Have you noticed the beautiful
white swans behind me?
486
00:27:14,700 --> 00:27:18,369
They remind me
of my favorite type of people:
487
00:27:18,371 --> 00:27:20,137
Graceful and white.
488
00:27:20,139 --> 00:27:22,039
Very, very white.
489
00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:24,174
Inclusivity, sir.
490
00:27:24,176 --> 00:27:26,877
They are so beautiful,
491
00:27:26,879 --> 00:27:31,215
and they love me for
bringing them into this world,
492
00:27:31,217 --> 00:27:35,919
almost as much as my beautiful
Russian mail-order bride.
493
00:27:35,921 --> 00:27:38,322
And you know what the
best part about the swans is?
494
00:27:38,324 --> 00:27:41,358
They're just as racist as I am.
495
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:42,926
Non-racist, sir.
496
00:27:42,928 --> 00:27:46,030
Non-racist as I am.
497
00:27:59,879 --> 00:28:02,379
It's so beautiful out here.
498
00:28:02,381 --> 00:28:04,815
I wonder who planted
all these trees.
499
00:28:04,817 --> 00:28:07,785
Must've spent a fortune
in gardeners.
500
00:28:10,089 --> 00:28:12,923
Hey, where are you going,
you asswipe?
501
00:28:12,925 --> 00:28:15,793
Come back here!
I'll sue you.
502
00:28:15,795 --> 00:28:18,729
- Where'd he go?
- I can't believe he did that.
503
00:28:18,731 --> 00:28:20,397
Let's get out.
504
00:28:20,399 --> 00:28:22,032
Okay. Let's check it.
505
00:28:22,034 --> 00:28:23,100
Whoa!
506
00:28:23,102 --> 00:28:24,802
Okay, I'm fine.
507
00:28:24,804 --> 00:28:26,336
Okay.
508
00:28:27,473 --> 00:28:29,339
Where did he go?
509
00:28:31,811 --> 00:28:33,911
- Oh, no. Your tit's hanging out
- Oh, yeah.
510
00:28:33,913 --> 00:28:36,480
Uh, put it away for once.
511
00:28:36,482 --> 00:28:37,915
No one can see.
512
00:28:37,917 --> 00:28:40,417
Yeah, that's true.
513
00:28:40,419 --> 00:28:42,753
- What are we gonna do?
- I don't know.
514
00:28:46,859 --> 00:28:49,126
You've got to be
kidding me right now.
515
00:28:49,128 --> 00:28:51,962
When you meet your gods,
516
00:28:51,964 --> 00:28:56,900
tell them Shaggy,
son of Scooby,
517
00:28:56,902 --> 00:28:59,770
from the Rock, Paper,
Scissor clan sent you.
518
00:28:59,772 --> 00:29:02,206
Please don't kill me.
519
00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:05,743
♪♪ [chorus]
520
00:29:05,745 --> 00:29:07,911
And...
[clears throat]
521
00:29:07,913 --> 00:29:10,280
Tell me...
522
00:29:10,282 --> 00:29:13,050
where do women of your physique
come from?
523
00:29:13,052 --> 00:29:15,819
The hills of Beverly.
524
00:29:15,821 --> 00:29:18,122
Do they all have
the same curves as you?
525
00:29:18,124 --> 00:29:22,392
Most do, yes,
if they can afford it.
526
00:29:22,394 --> 00:29:25,195
I think we may
have to visit someday!
527
00:29:25,197 --> 00:29:26,497
[laughs]
528
00:29:26,499 --> 00:29:28,031
After we kill you.
529
00:29:28,033 --> 00:29:29,533
What?
[gasps]
530
00:29:29,535 --> 00:29:30,968
[laughs]
531
00:29:35,908 --> 00:29:37,441
[laughs]
532
00:29:42,314 --> 00:29:43,847
- Get out!
- Just do it.
533
00:29:43,849 --> 00:29:45,983
Okay, okay.
[clears throat]
534
00:29:45,985 --> 00:29:50,554
Mr. Shaggy, my name is Clueless
of House Kardushian.
535
00:29:51,924 --> 00:29:54,158
[grunts]
536
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,960
Tell me, Clueless,
how would you like to die?
537
00:30:00,833 --> 00:30:04,434
Choking on a gallon of
mint chocolate chip ice cream
538
00:30:04,436 --> 00:30:06,036
in my Jacuzzi,
539
00:30:06,038 --> 00:30:08,405
while having sex with you.
540
00:30:08,407 --> 00:30:10,207
[laughs]
541
00:30:10,209 --> 00:30:12,810
The fat one's
got a sense of humor!
542
00:30:12,812 --> 00:30:15,078
Take her as a slave
and kill the other one.
543
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,347
- What?
- What?
544
00:30:17,349 --> 00:30:19,349
Who are you calling fat,
bitch!
545
00:30:20,352 --> 00:30:21,885
Oh, yeah!
546
00:30:21,887 --> 00:30:23,320
Oh, she's feisty.
547
00:30:23,322 --> 00:30:26,223
Give me back my hammer
or the family dies.
548
00:30:26,225 --> 00:30:28,392
Hang on a second!
549
00:30:28,394 --> 00:30:31,261
How many followers
do you have?
550
00:30:36,569 --> 00:30:40,370
I have five followers.
551
00:30:40,372 --> 00:30:44,308
How do you expect me
to take you seriously
552
00:30:44,310 --> 00:30:47,211
if you only have
five followers?
553
00:30:47,213 --> 00:30:48,846
How many do you have?
554
00:30:48,848 --> 00:30:50,347
Thousands.
555
00:30:51,383 --> 00:30:52,916
Where are they?
556
00:30:52,918 --> 00:30:55,552
They're in here.
557
00:30:55,554 --> 00:30:58,155
And when I make my sex tape,
558
00:30:58,157 --> 00:31:04,127
I'll have millions
and millions of followers.
559
00:31:04,129 --> 00:31:05,295
Well, join the club!
560
00:31:05,297 --> 00:31:07,097
Everyone does that
around here.
561
00:31:07,099 --> 00:31:08,365
Really?
562
00:31:08,367 --> 00:31:10,968
Oh, yeah!
Practically all the time.
563
00:31:10,970 --> 00:31:12,536
Yeah!
[grunts]
564
00:31:12,538 --> 00:31:16,473
How am I supposed
to get famous now?
565
00:31:27,353 --> 00:31:29,353
Somebody say famous?
566
00:31:31,624 --> 00:31:33,290
Me.
567
00:31:33,292 --> 00:31:34,658
Me famous?
568
00:31:34,660 --> 00:31:37,895
[whispering] I can make
all you bitches famous.
569
00:31:37,897 --> 00:31:40,597
[gasps]
[screaming]
570
00:31:40,599 --> 00:31:42,966
- Can we take a selfie?
- Oh, my God, yeah!
571
00:31:42,968 --> 00:31:44,468
Okay, duck face.
572
00:31:44,470 --> 00:31:46,603
Famous!
573
00:31:48,474 --> 00:31:50,407
Your Majesty.
574
00:31:54,914 --> 00:31:56,346
- [twang]
- [yelps]
575
00:32:00,185 --> 00:32:02,552
Shut up!
I'm... I'm hunting.
576
00:32:02,554 --> 00:32:04,421
- My apologizes, my lord.
- Yes!
577
00:32:04,423 --> 00:32:07,157
You've done it again,
Your Majesty.
578
00:32:07,159 --> 00:32:08,392
First shot.
579
00:32:08,394 --> 00:32:11,295
Very good.
Take that beast
580
00:32:11,297 --> 00:32:14,932
and give it to the cook
for tonight's feast.
581
00:32:16,235 --> 00:32:18,468
The event is just
hours away, my lord.
582
00:32:18,470 --> 00:32:19,536
Yes.
583
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:22,572
The, um...
584
00:32:22,574 --> 00:32:24,474
Yes, spit it out.
585
00:32:24,476 --> 00:32:29,212
The dragonfire
has disappeared.
586
00:32:29,214 --> 00:32:32,115
Dragonfire has disappeared?
How does the dragonfire...
587
00:32:32,117 --> 00:32:37,254
How does the dragonfire
disappear?
588
00:32:37,256 --> 00:32:40,490
I'm afraid I do not know,
my lord.
589
00:32:40,492 --> 00:32:43,060
I'm going to explain
one thing to you.
590
00:32:43,062 --> 00:32:45,195
You're gonna get rid of
all those people tonight.
591
00:32:45,197 --> 00:32:46,630
I don't care how you do it.
592
00:32:46,632 --> 00:32:49,032
You throw them off
the castle wall.
593
00:32:49,034 --> 00:32:51,201
You drown them in the moat.
594
00:32:51,203 --> 00:32:55,138
Feed them to the little beasties
of the fucking forest.
595
00:32:55,140 --> 00:32:58,175
Use your imagination,
will ya, man?
596
00:32:58,177 --> 00:33:00,177
I'll think of something.
597
00:33:00,179 --> 00:33:02,446
Hold my wine.
598
00:33:02,448 --> 00:33:06,049
Ah, come here,
you little bastard.
599
00:33:06,051 --> 00:33:08,018
- [whoosh]
- [groans]
600
00:33:17,296 --> 00:33:20,297
Any more bad news
for the king today?
601
00:33:20,299 --> 00:33:24,001
Lord Deadard Stork and
his family are about to arrive.
602
00:33:24,003 --> 00:33:27,137
Would you like to greet him?
603
00:33:27,139 --> 00:33:29,706
Well, yes,
of course I'd like to greet
604
00:33:29,708 --> 00:33:33,610
my dear long-lost friend.
605
00:33:33,612 --> 00:33:38,482
I mean, why didn't you bring
that up in the first place?
606
00:33:38,484 --> 00:33:41,118
Do you wanna tell me,
you fucking...
607
00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:54,664
The king is like
a feather in the air.
608
00:33:54,666 --> 00:33:57,601
He goes whichever way
the wind blows.
609
00:33:57,603 --> 00:34:02,506
And right now
Deadard is blowing him hard.
610
00:34:10,215 --> 00:34:12,549
[tapping]
611
00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:19,790
Oh, that's lovely.
612
00:34:19,792 --> 00:34:22,225
Good work. Yes.
613
00:34:33,138 --> 00:34:35,372
[grunts]
Ah, there we go.
614
00:34:42,147 --> 00:34:44,514
Lord Trumpet's wall.
615
00:34:44,516 --> 00:34:47,751
Journal entry number one.
616
00:34:47,753 --> 00:34:52,656
It's cold as shit out here
in the middle of nowhere
617
00:34:52,658 --> 00:34:56,259
as we look for nothing
for no reason whatsoever.
618
00:34:58,430 --> 00:35:01,198
The story of my life.
619
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,400
A bastard life.
620
00:35:03,402 --> 00:35:04,734
I'm bored.
621
00:35:04,736 --> 00:35:06,736
We can be on our way
to Purgefest right now.
622
00:35:06,738 --> 00:35:08,805
No one wants
two more bastards.
623
00:35:08,807 --> 00:35:10,474
Oh, come on.
624
00:35:10,476 --> 00:35:12,642
Half of the people
in this kingdom are bastards,
625
00:35:12,644 --> 00:35:15,312
and the other half
are just inbred morons.
626
00:35:15,314 --> 00:35:18,348
Besides, there will be women,
627
00:35:18,350 --> 00:35:21,685
entertainment, chesses.
628
00:35:21,687 --> 00:35:24,154
Hmm? All the essentials.
629
00:35:26,525 --> 00:35:31,194
♪ I'm a bastard child ♪
630
00:35:31,196 --> 00:35:33,797
♪ Living on a wall ♪
631
00:35:33,799 --> 00:35:37,734
♪ With 40 celibate men ♪
632
00:35:37,736 --> 00:35:41,438
Uh, wait.
I didn't want to scare you,
633
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:44,474
but I received a note
from an owl earlier
634
00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:47,577
that said the Storks
might be in danger.
635
00:35:47,579 --> 00:35:50,680
When did you see an owl?
636
00:35:50,682 --> 00:35:53,917
Uh, it-it was when I...
637
00:35:53,919 --> 00:35:57,220
When I went to the bathroom.
638
00:35:57,222 --> 00:35:59,689
I've been with you all day.
Who sent it?
639
00:35:59,691 --> 00:36:01,925
It was anonymous.
640
00:36:01,927 --> 00:36:05,595
I've never heard of him.
Where is it?
641
00:36:05,597 --> 00:36:07,898
I-I burned it.
642
00:36:07,900 --> 00:36:09,733
Why would you
burn the message?
643
00:36:09,735 --> 00:36:11,869
Because I was afraid it would
get into the wrong hands.
644
00:36:11,870 --> 00:36:13,637
Look, we can
discuss this forever,
645
00:36:13,639 --> 00:36:15,572
but the point is
we don't have much time.
646
00:36:15,574 --> 00:36:18,642
If we don't head out now,
your family might be killed.
647
00:36:18,644 --> 00:36:20,343
My family doesn't
want to see me.
648
00:36:20,345 --> 00:36:22,812
Oh, bloody hell.
Are you going to sit here
649
00:36:22,814 --> 00:36:24,548
moping all day
about not having a mother?
650
00:36:24,550 --> 00:36:27,684
Or are you going to get up
and do something?
651
00:36:31,356 --> 00:36:33,823
Let's go to Purgefest
right now!
652
00:36:35,727 --> 00:36:38,295
Both of us.
Let's do it.
653
00:36:38,297 --> 00:36:40,197
Yes, you're right.
654
00:36:44,236 --> 00:36:45,969
- Pack your bags.
- Yes.
655
00:36:45,971 --> 00:36:48,305
- Get your best dress.
- Yes!
656
00:36:48,307 --> 00:36:50,307
I'll get the car.
We're going to Purgefest!
657
00:36:50,309 --> 00:36:53,343
Yes!
Yes, let's do it, Johnny!
658
00:37:02,821 --> 00:37:05,722
Don't tell me you're playing
that stupid game again.
659
00:37:05,724 --> 00:37:07,557
It's not stupid.
I like it.
660
00:37:07,559 --> 00:37:10,760
Promise me you won't play
with it while were in Kingshire.
661
00:37:10,762 --> 00:37:11,895
Promise.
662
00:37:11,897 --> 00:37:13,930
Hodog, no playing.
663
00:37:13,932 --> 00:37:14,932
Hodog, Hodog.
664
00:37:31,583 --> 00:37:33,250
Your Grace.
665
00:37:36,488 --> 00:37:37,954
You look old.
666
00:37:40,759 --> 00:37:42,359
And you're so fat,
667
00:37:42,361 --> 00:37:44,728
the last time
they took out the catapult,
668
00:37:44,730 --> 00:37:46,997
they thought
you were the boulder.
669
00:37:55,674 --> 00:37:57,941
[chuckling]
670
00:37:57,943 --> 00:38:00,443
Just like the old days!
671
00:38:04,316 --> 00:38:07,317
- Your Grace.
- Hello, darling.
672
00:38:07,319 --> 00:38:11,488
Tight as a fist,
as always, hmm?
673
00:38:11,490 --> 00:38:13,556
And where are
the little ones?
674
00:38:13,558 --> 00:38:15,959
Ooh!
675
00:38:15,961 --> 00:38:19,529
Not so little anymore,
are ya, Little Bobby?
676
00:38:19,531 --> 00:38:22,465
Tortured any defenseless
little puppies lately?
677
00:38:22,467 --> 00:38:25,035
[laughing]
678
00:38:25,037 --> 00:38:28,905
Oh! You must be
the tomboy, hmm?
679
00:38:28,907 --> 00:38:31,641
Ohh! Hmm?
680
00:38:31,643 --> 00:38:35,045
[laughing]
681
00:38:35,047 --> 00:38:36,613
Hello in there!
682
00:38:38,784 --> 00:38:40,450
Ohh!
683
00:38:40,452 --> 00:38:42,452
Oh, it's the pretty
little girly one.
684
00:38:42,454 --> 00:38:44,888
She loves to play with
the little dollies, does she?
685
00:38:44,890 --> 00:38:47,524
The little dollies! Ohh!
686
00:38:50,996 --> 00:38:54,464
Ah! And what have we here?
We have the athletic little one.
687
00:38:54,466 --> 00:38:56,833
Up and down.
Show us those legs.
688
00:39:00,706 --> 00:39:02,539
I like pussy.
689
00:39:02,541 --> 00:39:03,606
Hodog.
690
00:39:03,608 --> 00:39:04,941
Oh.
691
00:39:04,943 --> 00:39:06,676
- Pussy.
- Hodog.
692
00:39:06,678 --> 00:39:07,977
- Pussy.
- Hodog.
693
00:39:07,979 --> 00:39:09,012
- Pussy.
- Hodog.
694
00:39:09,014 --> 00:39:10,080
Mm.
695
00:39:12,918 --> 00:39:15,118
Welcome to Kingshire.
696
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,387
Mi casa, su casa.
697
00:39:17,389 --> 00:39:20,757
Meet the family.
Come here!
698
00:39:20,759 --> 00:39:22,025
This is Cursey, my wife.
699
00:39:23,829 --> 00:39:25,061
[kiss]
700
00:39:27,799 --> 00:39:28,965
And Johnny.
701
00:39:28,967 --> 00:39:31,134
"Bang Bang Johnny"
we call him.
702
00:39:31,136 --> 00:39:34,604
Because he likes to bang
anything that fucking moves.
703
00:39:34,606 --> 00:39:38,675
And Jizzy, my boy.
I'm so fucking proud of him.
704
00:39:38,677 --> 00:39:40,977
Great shot with that thing.
705
00:39:40,979 --> 00:39:42,846
I think he looks just like you.
706
00:39:42,848 --> 00:39:43,980
He does, does he?
707
00:39:43,982 --> 00:39:45,582
Tell me about this Purgefest.
708
00:39:45,584 --> 00:39:47,917
Why this big party
all of the sudden?
709
00:39:47,919 --> 00:39:49,786
You've never done anything
like this before.
710
00:39:49,788 --> 00:39:51,488
Well, excuse us.
711
00:39:51,490 --> 00:39:53,156
We've got a little talk.
Come on.
712
00:39:56,094 --> 00:40:00,029
You're the best friend I have
in the whole wide world,
713
00:40:00,031 --> 00:40:01,831
so I'm gonna be honest with you.
714
00:40:01,833 --> 00:40:03,166
This isn't a party.
715
00:40:03,168 --> 00:40:05,468
I'm gonna just
kill the competition
716
00:40:05,470 --> 00:40:06,936
before it kills me, right?
717
00:40:06,938 --> 00:40:09,706
You're becoming paranoid.
718
00:40:09,708 --> 00:40:11,441
Everyone loves you.
719
00:40:11,443 --> 00:40:13,977
Me? I'd give my left testicle
for you!
720
00:40:13,979 --> 00:40:15,845
That's 'cause you're a moron.
721
00:40:15,847 --> 00:40:17,714
Call me what you will.
722
00:40:17,716 --> 00:40:20,917
But I still believe
in the old ways:
723
00:40:20,919 --> 00:40:26,055
Loyalty, honesty,
character, and integrity.
724
00:40:29,961 --> 00:40:31,961
Okay, I'll go get a snack.
725
00:40:36,868 --> 00:40:38,835
While I figure out
726
00:40:38,837 --> 00:40:43,940
how to murder
every single one of them.
727
00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:51,448
That's the most disgusting thing
I've ever seen.
728
00:40:51,450 --> 00:40:53,750
At least use a fork and knife,
you pig.
729
00:40:53,752 --> 00:40:56,719
And what's taking you so long?
I'd like to keep moving.
730
00:40:56,721 --> 00:41:00,690
[speaking Spanish]
731
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:05,695
You are an embarrassment
to me and our entire family.
732
00:41:05,697 --> 00:41:06,996
When I rule the Eight Kingdoms,
733
00:41:06,998 --> 00:41:08,765
I will have
to educate you properly.
734
00:41:08,767 --> 00:41:11,167
You can't just be
on a rocking horse
735
00:41:11,169 --> 00:41:12,969
with that beast of yours
736
00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:15,705
and dining on horse parts
with your bare hands!
737
00:41:15,707 --> 00:41:19,509
[speaking Spanish]
738
00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:23,079
We're about to produce
739
00:41:23,081 --> 00:41:25,615
the greatest dynasty
the world has ever known.
740
00:41:25,617 --> 00:41:27,250
We are dragons!
741
00:41:27,252 --> 00:41:29,552
Well, I'm a dragon.
I don't know what you are.
742
00:41:29,554 --> 00:41:33,756
- Actually, I'm the dragon.
- How dare you correct me!
743
00:41:33,758 --> 00:41:35,925
You say I'm the dragon.
You say I'm the dragon!
744
00:41:35,927 --> 00:41:37,727
- You're the drag...
- Say I'm the dragon!
745
00:41:37,729 --> 00:41:40,497
- You're the dragon.
- And don't you forget it.
746
00:41:40,499 --> 00:41:41,764
And by the way...
747
00:41:41,766 --> 00:41:43,566
Aaahh!
748
00:41:43,568 --> 00:41:45,768
That's what a real dragon
sounds like.
749
00:41:45,770 --> 00:41:48,838
Take it easy.
Diego's going to get mad.
750
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,174
- [shitting]
- So what if he gets mad?
751
00:41:51,176 --> 00:41:53,209
The imbecile doesn't even
speak the common tongue.
752
00:41:53,211 --> 00:41:55,278
He's getting pissed.
753
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,780
He may not speak it,
but he understands it.
754
00:41:57,782 --> 00:41:59,983
I want to go! Now!
755
00:41:59,985 --> 00:42:03,052
I want the crown I deserve!
756
00:42:03,054 --> 00:42:06,189
[speaking Spanish]
757
00:42:09,628 --> 00:42:10,960
Okay, what did he say?
758
00:42:10,962 --> 00:42:13,196
He said he'll give you
your crown.
759
00:42:13,198 --> 00:42:16,766
No! What?
Denise, what's happening?
760
00:42:16,768 --> 00:42:18,535
What is he doing
with that bucket?
761
00:42:18,537 --> 00:42:20,537
No, you keep that
away from me.
762
00:42:20,539 --> 00:42:22,238
I am the king!
763
00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:24,774
A crown for a king!
764
00:42:24,776 --> 00:42:26,009
No!
765
00:42:45,230 --> 00:42:46,930
- I think he's dead.
- Sí.
766
00:42:53,038 --> 00:42:56,172
- You want some of this?
- Yes, please, thank you.
767
00:42:56,174 --> 00:42:58,341
Mmm! Yum, yum, yum, yum.
768
00:42:59,744 --> 00:43:02,178
[gibberish]
769
00:43:17,829 --> 00:43:22,065
I have stolen
all the dragonfire
770
00:43:22,067 --> 00:43:24,634
and hidden it
in the basement.
771
00:43:24,636 --> 00:43:26,002
Yes.
772
00:43:26,004 --> 00:43:30,173
When all the families
sit down for the feast,
773
00:43:30,175 --> 00:43:31,941
I will burn them,
774
00:43:31,943 --> 00:43:36,746
and you and I will be
the new rulers of the kingdom!
775
00:43:36,748 --> 00:43:39,248
Yes! I got you,
you nasty little devil.
776
00:43:39,250 --> 00:43:41,250
Now, wait till I tell
all of my friends about you.
777
00:43:41,252 --> 00:43:43,386
They won't believe it.
778
00:43:43,388 --> 00:43:44,787
Get him!
779
00:43:46,157 --> 00:43:48,625
Quite the little pervert,
aren't you?
780
00:43:48,627 --> 00:43:49,959
What's happening?
What's going on?
781
00:43:49,961 --> 00:43:51,894
I was just up here
having some fun.
782
00:43:51,896 --> 00:43:54,864
Having some fun?
Is that what you call it?
783
00:43:54,866 --> 00:43:56,232
I was playing with my dragon.
784
00:43:56,234 --> 00:43:57,967
Clobbering the creature, yes?
785
00:43:57,969 --> 00:44:00,803
- Popping the beast.
- Chasing the serpent?
786
00:44:00,805 --> 00:44:03,006
Tickling the lizard?
We get it.
787
00:44:03,008 --> 00:44:06,075
What are you doing?
You're going to kill him.
788
00:44:06,077 --> 00:44:07,276
I'm saving our asses.
789
00:44:10,682 --> 00:44:13,282
The kid is just playing
Dragon Bone.
790
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:16,419
Right.
791
00:44:20,291 --> 00:44:22,291
Can I have
my Dragon Bone back, please?
792
00:44:22,293 --> 00:44:23,960
This does nothing but
numb your brain
793
00:44:23,962 --> 00:44:25,228
and get you in trouble.
794
00:44:25,230 --> 00:44:27,330
No! My Dragon Bone!
795
00:44:27,332 --> 00:44:28,332
[game shatters]
796
00:44:31,770 --> 00:44:33,036
It's okay.
797
00:44:33,038 --> 00:44:36,205
The game... still works.
798
00:44:37,442 --> 00:44:40,343
He's still alive.
799
00:44:40,345 --> 00:44:41,944
It's a miracle.
800
00:44:51,389 --> 00:44:54,724
I saw the best joust match
the other day.
801
00:44:54,726 --> 00:44:57,060
Anus stuck the tip of his lance
into the other guy's neck.
802
00:44:57,062 --> 00:44:59,195
There was blood
gushing everywhere.
803
00:44:59,197 --> 00:45:00,730
It was pretty fun.
804
00:45:00,732 --> 00:45:01,831
Sounds interesting.
805
00:45:04,302 --> 00:45:06,069
No, I don't.
806
00:45:06,071 --> 00:45:07,071
Do it.
807
00:45:09,407 --> 00:45:11,040
Okay!
808
00:45:18,783 --> 00:45:21,884
[coughing]
809
00:45:21,886 --> 00:45:23,352
[coughing continues]
810
00:45:42,974 --> 00:45:44,974
What is it, my sweet lady?
811
00:45:44,976 --> 00:45:46,442
Does Mongrel bother you?
812
00:45:48,213 --> 00:45:51,347
Away with you, Mongrel!
You're scaring my lady!
813
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:57,987
There. Now it's just
the two of us.
814
00:45:57,989 --> 00:46:00,790
So...
815
00:46:00,792 --> 00:46:02,458
what do you like to do
for fun?
816
00:46:02,460 --> 00:46:07,330
I sew, cook,
masturbate, clean.
817
00:46:07,332 --> 00:46:09,932
Twice a day
in that order.
818
00:46:09,934 --> 00:46:12,935
A traditional woman.
I like that.
819
00:46:12,937 --> 00:46:15,938
I'm not into these woman
who want to work
820
00:46:15,940 --> 00:46:19,842
or fight or talk.
821
00:46:22,247 --> 00:46:24,213
Take that, fatty!
822
00:46:25,216 --> 00:46:27,183
You'll never defeat me!
823
00:46:27,185 --> 00:46:28,252
Don't worry, milady,
I've got this!
824
00:46:28,253 --> 00:46:29,552
Why should I be worried?
825
00:46:29,554 --> 00:46:31,020
- You're safe with me.
- From what?
826
00:46:31,022 --> 00:46:32,922
Surrender your weapon,
fat boy!
827
00:46:32,924 --> 00:46:34,490
Let go of my girl's sister,
828
00:46:34,492 --> 00:46:36,826
or I'll slice you in half
like a loaf of bread.
829
00:46:36,828 --> 00:46:38,060
Hey, man, relax.
830
00:46:38,062 --> 00:46:41,330
I'm not a man.
I'm your prince.
831
00:46:41,332 --> 00:46:44,233
Dude, seriously.
Stop messing around.
832
00:46:44,235 --> 00:46:46,135
We're actors on a movie.
833
00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:48,004
Don't move.
I saw it with my own eyes.
834
00:46:48,006 --> 00:46:49,372
You attacked her
with your sword.
835
00:46:49,374 --> 00:46:51,841
No, he didn't.
He's my friend
836
00:46:51,843 --> 00:46:53,276
This?
837
00:46:53,278 --> 00:46:55,378
It's just a stick.
Do you want it?
838
00:46:55,380 --> 00:46:56,846
En garde!
839
00:46:56,848 --> 00:46:59,816
- Don't, Jizzy!
- Quiet, my lady.
840
00:46:59,818 --> 00:47:02,285
No one can defeat me
in combat.
841
00:47:04,255 --> 00:47:06,823
Now fight me like a man!
842
00:47:06,825 --> 00:47:07,957
- [crack]
- Ohh!
843
00:47:07,959 --> 00:47:12,428
[chuckling]
844
00:47:12,430 --> 00:47:14,430
How dare you
hit your prince.
845
00:47:14,432 --> 00:47:17,466
You aren't a prince.
846
00:47:17,468 --> 00:47:19,335
- You're a penis.
- What did she call me?
847
00:47:19,337 --> 00:47:23,072
She called you
a prince, sir.
848
00:47:23,074 --> 00:47:26,976
You're nothing but
a little penis.
849
00:47:26,978 --> 00:47:31,280
A walking, talking penis.
850
00:47:31,282 --> 00:47:34,150
Admit it to everybody here that
you are nothing but a penis.
851
00:47:34,152 --> 00:47:35,585
Never.
852
00:47:35,587 --> 00:47:36,619
Say it!
853
00:47:36,621 --> 00:47:38,487
No!
854
00:47:38,489 --> 00:47:40,389
No! Ow! Ow! Ow!
855
00:47:40,391 --> 00:47:43,159
Mommy! Ow! Mommy!
856
00:47:48,867 --> 00:47:50,533
Why don't people like me?
857
00:47:50,535 --> 00:47:53,336
They're jealous of you, sir.
858
00:47:53,338 --> 00:47:55,504
Am I good-looking?
859
00:47:55,506 --> 00:47:57,974
[clears throat]
Yeah. Yeah, you are.
860
00:47:57,976 --> 00:47:59,208
You hesitated for a bit there.
861
00:47:59,210 --> 00:48:01,510
No, no, I didn't.
862
00:48:01,512 --> 00:48:04,080
- Look, you did it again.
- No.
863
00:48:04,082 --> 00:48:06,082
You... You're doing...
864
00:48:06,084 --> 00:48:07,283
Oh, all right, all right.
865
00:48:08,586 --> 00:48:10,253
All right, fuck you!
866
00:48:10,255 --> 00:48:12,221
You think you're ever
gonna be king, my boy?
867
00:48:12,223 --> 00:48:13,589
You've got another thing coming.
868
00:48:13,591 --> 00:48:15,191
You're always gonna be
a little prince
869
00:48:15,193 --> 00:48:16,959
who's got a little dick.
870
00:48:16,961 --> 00:48:19,629
This is the biggest dick
you're ever gonna see, my boy.
871
00:48:19,631 --> 00:48:21,564
In this water,
this reflection,
872
00:48:21,566 --> 00:48:24,100
is the only dick
you're ever gonna have.
873
00:48:28,072 --> 00:48:31,340
So are you guys coming with us
to Purgefest or what?
874
00:48:31,342 --> 00:48:33,075
I don't know.
875
00:48:33,077 --> 00:48:35,177
I don't know if that place
is our scene, really.
876
00:48:40,051 --> 00:48:42,585
Who is that?
877
00:48:44,289 --> 00:48:46,055
The fat one?
878
00:48:46,057 --> 00:48:49,125
No, the one with the hair.
879
00:48:49,127 --> 00:48:51,127
He's so hot.
880
00:48:59,237 --> 00:49:02,405
You two need to leave!
881
00:49:02,407 --> 00:49:05,374
There is no place for you
in here.
882
00:49:05,376 --> 00:49:09,378
Now leave before
I smash you with my hammer!
883
00:49:09,380 --> 00:49:11,647
Oh, uh, I see.
884
00:49:11,649 --> 00:49:14,951
Well, I think I saw another inn
a few steps from here.
885
00:49:14,953 --> 00:49:18,454
Maybe we should go to that one,
shouldn't we?
886
00:49:18,456 --> 00:49:19,956
Yeah.
887
00:49:23,261 --> 00:49:25,328
Why should we leave?
888
00:49:25,330 --> 00:49:27,997
We have the same right
to be here as any of you.
889
00:49:27,999 --> 00:49:29,398
Is that so?
890
00:49:30,702 --> 00:49:32,601
Men!
891
00:49:34,706 --> 00:49:38,074
On the bar. On the bar!
892
00:49:46,250 --> 00:49:50,653
The maester says
it's a miracle he's still alive.
893
00:49:50,655 --> 00:49:53,022
Help. Help!
894
00:49:53,024 --> 00:49:56,492
Our boy is strong.
He will survive. You'll see.
895
00:49:56,494 --> 00:49:59,261
I think someone pushed him
out of that tower, Deadard.
896
00:49:59,263 --> 00:50:01,397
I think he saw something
he shouldn't have seen,
897
00:50:01,399 --> 00:50:02,999
and they tried
to murder him.
898
00:50:03,001 --> 00:50:05,501
[laughs] Come on!
Who would do such a thing?
899
00:50:05,503 --> 00:50:07,236
Johnny and Cursey!
900
00:50:07,238 --> 00:50:09,672
I don't know!
The Boltons, the Freys,
901
00:50:09,674 --> 00:50:11,007
the High Pigeon.
902
00:50:11,009 --> 00:50:12,208
Could've been anyone.
903
00:50:12,210 --> 00:50:13,576
Maybe even Elay, my sister.
904
00:50:13,578 --> 00:50:15,544
That's outrageous!
905
00:50:15,546 --> 00:50:18,514
Those are all the nice families
you're talking about.
906
00:50:18,516 --> 00:50:21,150
Elay, my sister,
would never hurt a child.
907
00:50:21,152 --> 00:50:22,351
Hodog.
908
00:50:26,557 --> 00:50:29,358
We have to watch our backs,
Deadard.
909
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:32,395
You never know who would
stab us in the back.
910
00:50:32,397 --> 00:50:34,030
I think you need to rest.
911
00:50:34,032 --> 00:50:36,132
You're becoming paranoid
like the rest of them.
912
00:50:36,134 --> 00:50:38,300
Wait, wait, wait!
Where you going?
913
00:50:38,302 --> 00:50:42,304
I'm going to get
to the bottom of this!
914
00:50:49,514 --> 00:50:54,617
Lord Stork, the king would like
to talk to you in private.
915
00:50:54,619 --> 00:50:58,220
Yes, of course.
I'll be there.
916
00:51:03,161 --> 00:51:05,161
What's happening?
What's happening?
917
00:51:07,665 --> 00:51:09,265
- [stab]
- [groans]
918
00:51:10,468 --> 00:51:12,535
Ham!
919
00:51:12,537 --> 00:51:15,071
You A-hole!
920
00:51:15,073 --> 00:51:16,539
I'm sorry!
921
00:51:18,109 --> 00:51:20,576
Next! Step right up,
step right up!
922
00:51:20,578 --> 00:51:22,578
Who wants to kill
a bastard?
923
00:51:26,317 --> 00:51:28,784
Here, mate.
I'll take those two.
924
00:51:30,421 --> 00:51:32,421
[groans]
You bastard.
925
00:51:33,624 --> 00:51:36,225
[groans]
Come on.
926
00:51:36,227 --> 00:51:37,827
I wasn't any good, was I?
927
00:51:37,829 --> 00:51:39,328
I wasn't any good.
928
00:51:39,330 --> 00:51:42,531
I want to fuck!
929
00:51:42,533 --> 00:51:44,366
Hello.
[laughs]
930
00:51:44,368 --> 00:51:47,336
Having a wonderful time here.
931
00:51:47,338 --> 00:51:49,605
Oh, God, I miss your sister.
932
00:51:49,607 --> 00:51:52,641
You know, the old days,
they were beautiful.
933
00:51:52,643 --> 00:51:55,878
Your sister was a real goer.
She was such a partier,
934
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:58,147
with the little tits
and that ass of hers.
935
00:51:58,149 --> 00:52:00,749
Ah, she was wonderful.
She reminds me of you.
936
00:52:00,751 --> 00:52:03,552
How do you keep your stomach
flat like that?
937
00:52:03,554 --> 00:52:05,821
I have to get on a diet.
938
00:52:05,823 --> 00:52:08,591
I mean, I'm good in bed,
but I'm not like your sister.
939
00:52:08,593 --> 00:52:11,227
She could take 45 people
in one go.
940
00:52:11,229 --> 00:52:14,563
One time I saw her with a
camel with it all in her mouth.
941
00:52:14,565 --> 00:52:18,300
It was quite beautiful
in some horrific kind of way.
942
00:52:18,302 --> 00:52:21,637
Anyway, do you wanna have
a little shot with this one?
943
00:52:21,639 --> 00:52:25,374
Wanna have a little shot?
[grunts]
944
00:52:25,376 --> 00:52:29,845
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
How can I help you, my lord?
945
00:52:29,847 --> 00:52:31,514
What I...
946
00:52:31,516 --> 00:52:33,649
Oh, I do need a favor
from you.
947
00:52:33,651 --> 00:52:35,651
Whatever it is,
you can count on me, my lord.
948
00:52:35,653 --> 00:52:37,219
You're like my brother.
949
00:52:37,221 --> 00:52:39,822
Yes, all right.
Don't interrupt the king.
950
00:52:39,824 --> 00:52:41,757
Now, you know
that I am surrounded
951
00:52:41,759 --> 00:52:44,927
by a bunch of moneygrubbing
ass-licking,
952
00:52:44,929 --> 00:52:48,797
scummy little piggy, alcoholic
people in this kingdom,
953
00:52:48,799 --> 00:52:53,369
and somebody is going to try
and kill me tonight, okay?
954
00:52:53,371 --> 00:52:56,238
Listen, listen,
we already discussed this.
955
00:52:56,240 --> 00:52:57,640
Don't you...
956
00:52:57,642 --> 00:52:59,441
Don't fear the ungrounded.
957
00:52:59,443 --> 00:53:02,545
No one would dare
harm a king.
958
00:53:02,547 --> 00:53:06,582
Okay, well, I happen
to disagree with you,
959
00:53:06,584 --> 00:53:11,287
and therefore I'm going to
command you to protect the realm
960
00:53:11,289 --> 00:53:13,689
for my little
jizzy-wizzy boy,
961
00:53:13,691 --> 00:53:15,891
so he can come and take
all of the things
962
00:53:15,893 --> 00:53:18,727
and have it all, okay?
963
00:53:18,729 --> 00:53:21,564
You can count on me, my lord.
I'll be there.
964
00:53:21,566 --> 00:53:24,233
Okay, thank you.
All right, go on now.
965
00:53:24,235 --> 00:53:28,204
You want to have a little shot?
'Cause I'm gonna go again.
966
00:53:29,707 --> 00:53:31,607
Come here.
967
00:53:31,609 --> 00:53:33,542
Mmm.
968
00:53:56,867 --> 00:53:59,902
That column won't hit back,
you know.
969
00:53:59,904 --> 00:54:01,237
Who are you?
970
00:54:01,239 --> 00:54:04,640
I am a master dancer,
971
00:54:04,642 --> 00:54:06,942
lover,
972
00:54:06,944 --> 00:54:11,380
and the best swordsman
you have ever seen!
973
00:54:12,917 --> 00:54:15,684
My name is Zorrio Furrel.
974
00:54:20,424 --> 00:54:22,891
Oh, the grip is a bit slippery.
Excuse me.
975
00:54:22,893 --> 00:54:24,426
What are you doing here?
976
00:54:24,428 --> 00:54:25,628
Chasing rats!
977
00:54:25,630 --> 00:54:27,563
- Part of your training?
- No.
978
00:54:27,565 --> 00:54:31,600
The rodent situation
in Kingshire is out of hand.
979
00:54:31,602 --> 00:54:32,901
Sword.
980
00:54:32,903 --> 00:54:36,005
Here. Catch this sword.
981
00:54:36,007 --> 00:54:39,575
Looks like your reflexes
could use some practice.
982
00:54:39,577 --> 00:54:41,410
Pick up your weapon.
983
00:54:43,347 --> 00:54:46,849
That is not the way, boy!
984
00:54:46,851 --> 00:54:48,017
I'm a girl.
985
00:54:48,019 --> 00:54:50,719
That cannot be true.
Anyway...
986
00:54:50,721 --> 00:54:54,056
this is how you
pick up a sword.
987
00:54:55,293 --> 00:54:56,358
[grunts]
988
00:54:58,529 --> 00:54:59,928
[chuckles]
989
00:55:00,931 --> 00:55:02,031
Ugh!
990
00:55:02,033 --> 00:55:04,800
Ooh! Ooh!
991
00:55:04,802 --> 00:55:08,070
I am just showing you
how not to do it. Ah!
992
00:55:08,072 --> 00:55:13,042
Wouldn't want to knock
yourself in the giggle berries.
993
00:55:13,044 --> 00:55:16,445
I don't have giggle berries.
I'm a girl!
994
00:55:24,555 --> 00:55:27,823
Oh, the sword is all
badly balanced.
995
00:55:27,825 --> 00:55:29,558
Last time.
996
00:55:32,663 --> 00:55:35,364
That is how you do it!
997
00:55:35,366 --> 00:55:38,834
Now get into
the fighting position.
998
00:55:41,038 --> 00:55:43,672
That is not
the fighting position.
999
00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:45,774
Turn to me side-faced!
1000
00:55:45,776 --> 00:55:47,409
Sideways.
1001
00:55:47,411 --> 00:55:49,912
Yes, that is what I said:
Side-faced.
1002
00:55:49,914 --> 00:55:53,415
I have been the first swordsman
of the Bravados for 20 years.
1003
00:55:53,417 --> 00:55:55,384
You must listen to me, boy!
1004
00:55:55,386 --> 00:55:56,785
I'm a girl!
1005
00:55:56,787 --> 00:55:58,121
No way.
Where are your boobies then?
1006
00:55:58,122 --> 00:56:00,422
- I'm like ten!
- Very well then.
1007
00:56:00,424 --> 00:56:02,424
Turn side-faced!
1008
00:56:04,362 --> 00:56:08,130
Good. Now try to strike me.
1009
00:56:08,132 --> 00:56:10,132
Ooh! Ooh, you...
1010
00:56:10,134 --> 00:56:12,101
I wasn't expecting that.
1011
00:56:12,103 --> 00:56:13,469
I'm sorry.
1012
00:56:13,471 --> 00:56:14,737
You knocked the wind
out of me.
1013
00:56:14,739 --> 00:56:16,939
Let me help you up.
1014
00:56:16,941 --> 00:56:21,043
You have to wait for me
to say go, okay?
1015
00:56:22,413 --> 00:56:23,479
Go.
1016
00:56:23,481 --> 00:56:25,781
Not above the shoulders!
1017
00:56:25,783 --> 00:56:27,583
Don't have the proper gear
for that!
1018
00:56:27,585 --> 00:56:30,519
You're only supposed to hit me
in this section here.
1019
00:56:30,521 --> 00:56:34,990
Follow me.
I will teach you to Fandango!
1020
00:56:34,992 --> 00:56:38,861
And then perhaps you will become
a great swordsman like me.
1021
00:56:38,863 --> 00:56:41,563
♪♪ [Spanish guitar]
1022
00:56:46,537 --> 00:56:47,770
Fandango!
1023
00:56:52,176 --> 00:56:54,476
Yeah! There! Olé!
1024
00:56:54,478 --> 00:56:55,644
Olé!
1025
00:57:00,117 --> 00:57:04,420
Ariana, what in the name of
the Old Guard are you doing?
1026
00:57:04,422 --> 00:57:06,555
Zorrio was teaching me
to Fandango.
1027
00:57:06,557 --> 00:57:09,525
Zorrio Furrel at your service.
1028
00:57:09,527 --> 00:57:11,660
We must go.
Purgefest is about to begin.
1029
00:57:11,662 --> 00:57:12,861
Yes, Father.
1030
00:57:12,863 --> 00:57:14,563
Keep practicing
and you will go far.
1031
00:57:14,565 --> 00:57:17,733
I must go to chase the rats.
1032
00:57:17,735 --> 00:57:19,435
Good luck, boy!
1033
00:57:22,873 --> 00:57:24,540
Hello, everybody!
1034
00:57:24,542 --> 00:57:27,543
It's me, Lord Trumpet,
1035
00:57:27,545 --> 00:57:30,779
here at the tremendous
Trumpet Maze.
1036
00:57:30,781 --> 00:57:33,449
Everyone loves this maze.
You know why?
1037
00:57:33,451 --> 00:57:36,118
Because only white people
can get through it
1038
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:39,588
and brown people get trapped.
1039
00:57:39,590 --> 00:57:42,791
Sir! Sir, I'm stuck!
Sir, I need help.
1040
00:57:42,793 --> 00:57:45,093
Sir!
1041
00:57:45,095 --> 00:57:47,563
Sir, I can't get out! Sir!
1042
00:57:47,565 --> 00:57:49,698
Total loser.
1043
00:57:50,835 --> 00:57:52,468
Oh, no, Johnny.
1044
00:57:53,671 --> 00:57:56,738
[gasps]
Ohh!
1045
00:57:56,740 --> 00:58:00,075
What did you do, KK?
Why'd you have to stab him?
1046
00:58:00,077 --> 00:58:02,211
- I didn't stab him.
- Yes, you did.
1047
00:58:02,213 --> 00:58:04,079
You're a murderer.
Admit it.
1048
00:58:04,081 --> 00:58:05,514
I didn't do it.
1049
00:58:05,516 --> 00:58:07,182
Okay, if you didn't,
1050
00:58:07,184 --> 00:58:08,851
then you did it!
1051
00:58:10,521 --> 00:58:12,988
I didn't do it.
I saw you do it.
1052
00:58:12,990 --> 00:58:16,091
Me? No! I would never
kill John Doe.
1053
00:58:16,093 --> 00:58:18,560
You sure about that?
1054
00:58:18,562 --> 00:58:20,596
Oh, no, I did.
1055
00:58:20,598 --> 00:58:22,798
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, I did.
1056
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:24,901
Okay, well, let's just get him
into the back room, okay?
1057
00:58:24,902 --> 00:58:25,968
Oh, yeah.
1058
00:58:27,204 --> 00:58:29,204
- Sam, come on!
- Okay, let's go.
1059
00:58:29,206 --> 00:58:30,672
Oh, God.
1060
00:58:33,143 --> 00:58:36,545
Eight hundred paces,
and we'll be in Kingshire.
1061
00:58:36,547 --> 00:58:41,283
I will be the first female ruler
of all of Wild Westerworld.
1062
00:58:41,285 --> 00:58:43,285
My destiny awaits.
1063
00:58:47,157 --> 00:58:50,592
Do you have horse heart
by any chance?
1064
00:58:50,594 --> 00:58:52,794
Horse heart?
Oh, sure.
1065
00:58:54,164 --> 00:58:57,633
- Okay.
- Can you make a sad face?
1066
00:58:57,635 --> 00:59:01,637
Okay, let's go this way.
1067
00:59:01,639 --> 00:59:03,071
Oh, no.
1068
00:59:03,073 --> 00:59:05,741
Oh, Johnny, what do we do?
What do we do?
1069
00:59:05,743 --> 00:59:08,043
His clothes, rip them off.
1070
00:59:08,045 --> 00:59:09,578
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1071
00:59:09,580 --> 00:59:11,313
Help, Kocky.
1072
00:59:11,315 --> 00:59:12,648
No chance.
1073
00:59:12,650 --> 00:59:14,149
Can you get his...
1074
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:18,587
Hello, lady-boys.
1075
00:59:18,589 --> 00:59:21,623
Oh, look who it is.
It's the Red Sorceress.
1076
00:59:21,625 --> 00:59:23,325
Perhaps she can
bring him back to life.
1077
00:59:23,327 --> 00:59:25,861
Uh, that's not
the Red Sorceress.
1078
00:59:25,863 --> 00:59:29,298
That's our stepdad,
Trans Jenner.
1079
00:59:29,300 --> 00:59:31,567
All right, I'm out.
1080
00:59:31,569 --> 00:59:33,302
What's going on?
1081
00:59:33,304 --> 00:59:35,671
That man saved us
from the bad people,
1082
00:59:35,673 --> 00:59:37,706
and now he's dead
1083
00:59:37,708 --> 00:59:40,242
Why are his clothes
coming off?
1084
00:59:40,244 --> 00:59:43,145
I just wanted to see
what he looked like naked.
1085
00:59:43,147 --> 00:59:45,314
Oh, is that what
you're looking for?
1086
00:59:45,316 --> 00:59:48,317
I can just tell you
what it looks like.
1087
00:59:48,319 --> 00:59:52,921
Oh, he's so, so warm.
1088
00:59:52,923 --> 00:59:54,990
And so, so soft.
1089
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:57,826
Leave the room.
1090
00:59:57,828 --> 01:00:00,028
I can't make any promises.
1091
01:00:00,030 --> 01:00:02,998
I need to work
my jazz fingers.
1092
01:00:07,972 --> 01:00:11,006
- Come on, Clueless.
- No, I... I'm not done!
1093
01:00:15,079 --> 01:00:19,281
[speaking Spanish]
1094
01:00:26,624 --> 01:00:27,789
[stomach rumbling]
1095
01:00:27,791 --> 01:00:29,191
Ooh!
1096
01:00:32,896 --> 01:00:34,029
[farts]
1097
01:00:46,844 --> 01:00:47,843
[farts]
1098
01:00:47,845 --> 01:00:49,711
At least light a match.
1099
01:00:49,713 --> 01:00:52,748
My sun and my stars...
1100
01:00:52,750 --> 01:00:55,851
[gasps, coughs]
1101
01:00:56,854 --> 01:01:00,255
May I borrow your ponytail?
1102
01:01:00,257 --> 01:01:03,892
My hair is falling
all over my...
1103
01:01:06,764 --> 01:01:07,896
[tears]
Aah!
1104
01:01:10,167 --> 01:01:12,701
Here.
1105
01:01:12,703 --> 01:01:14,069
Take it.
1106
01:01:17,741 --> 01:01:19,374
Burn him.
1107
01:01:19,376 --> 01:01:20,876
¿Qué?
1108
01:01:20,878 --> 01:01:23,011
Lets go conquer
the Eight Kingdoms.
1109
01:01:23,013 --> 01:01:24,112
Sorry, buddy.
1110
01:01:25,249 --> 01:01:27,716
[Diego screaming]
1111
01:01:27,718 --> 01:01:30,152
Dad, are you gonna be
much longer?
1112
01:01:30,154 --> 01:01:32,821
They just burned a man alive
in the pub.
1113
01:01:32,823 --> 01:01:35,257
I'm just doing some magic.
What do you need?
1114
01:01:35,259 --> 01:01:37,259
Just wanted to make sure
everything is okay!
1115
01:01:37,261 --> 01:01:39,895
Yes, everything is fine!
Just let me finish!
1116
01:01:39,897 --> 01:01:41,697
Okay, I will!
1117
01:01:45,335 --> 01:01:46,468
[air hissing]
1118
01:02:03,253 --> 01:02:04,786
Ugh!
1119
01:02:05,923 --> 01:02:08,023
My boy!
What has happened?
1120
01:02:08,025 --> 01:02:10,125
Who did this?
[gasps]
1121
01:02:10,127 --> 01:02:11,460
Who are you?
1122
01:02:11,462 --> 01:02:13,495
What are you doing
in my son's room?
1123
01:02:14,965 --> 01:02:16,205
- What's that up there?
- Where?
1124
01:02:17,334 --> 01:02:21,369
[laughing]
1125
01:02:21,371 --> 01:02:23,305
That's a funny place
to keep a rabbit.
1126
01:02:23,307 --> 01:02:26,408
Show your face, you coward!
Show your face!
1127
01:02:26,410 --> 01:02:28,744
[laughing]
1128
01:02:28,746 --> 01:02:30,445
- Hodog!
- Stay in bed, my boy.
1129
01:02:30,447 --> 01:02:33,982
I will catch the man
who was trying to kill you!
1130
01:02:33,984 --> 01:02:35,517
What happened to me?
1131
01:02:35,519 --> 01:02:37,119
You were dead.
1132
01:02:37,121 --> 01:02:40,255
I just blew you
back to life.
1133
01:02:40,257 --> 01:02:42,891
WOMAN: You're not gonna
put it in there, are you?
1134
01:02:42,893 --> 01:02:46,027
TROLL: Too late!
[grunting]
1135
01:02:49,032 --> 01:02:50,532
Who is that?
1136
01:02:50,534 --> 01:02:53,235
That's Summer.
Summer is coming.
1137
01:02:59,009 --> 01:03:01,343
That must be him.
1138
01:03:05,349 --> 01:03:08,183
[moaning]
1139
01:03:12,923 --> 01:03:16,191
I don't know how you manage
to do all of us at once.
1140
01:03:16,193 --> 01:03:18,894
You're a true master.
1141
01:03:18,896 --> 01:03:23,198
If I told you my secret,
I'd have to kill you both.
1142
01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:25,367
Ooh! Right.
1143
01:03:25,369 --> 01:03:27,335
So close your eyes now.
Come on.
1144
01:03:27,337 --> 01:03:30,505
Both of you, close your eyes.
That's it.
1145
01:03:39,550 --> 01:03:41,316
You can open them now!
1146
01:03:43,253 --> 01:03:45,821
Your time is up, troll!
You're coming with us!
1147
01:03:45,823 --> 01:03:46,888
Where to?
1148
01:03:46,890 --> 01:03:48,423
Grab him.
1149
01:03:48,425 --> 01:03:50,025
- [giggling]
- Excuse me.
1150
01:03:54,131 --> 01:03:56,298
- Put me down, you shit!
- Come on, troll!
1151
01:03:56,300 --> 01:04:00,468
Wait, I didn't get a chance
to punch my frequent doer card.
1152
01:04:00,470 --> 01:04:03,405
Ah, keep it
in your pants, troll.
1153
01:04:03,407 --> 01:04:04,407
Tell me brother!
1154
01:04:08,345 --> 01:04:12,047
[video game beeping]
1155
01:04:15,485 --> 01:04:17,485
Hodog. Hodog!
1156
01:04:19,089 --> 01:04:20,322
TROLL: Please, look, please!
1157
01:04:20,324 --> 01:04:23,091
Git! Come on, come on!
1158
01:04:45,916 --> 01:04:48,350
Ooh!
[chuckling]
1159
01:04:48,352 --> 01:04:50,619
Please, look, please.
1160
01:04:50,621 --> 01:04:52,420
We have to be reasonable
about this here.
1161
01:04:52,422 --> 01:04:54,022
If you explain what it is
that you want,
1162
01:04:54,024 --> 01:04:55,891
I'm sure we can sort it.
1163
01:04:55,893 --> 01:04:58,027
If I'm not at the Purgefest
in the next couple of hours,
1164
01:04:58,028 --> 01:05:00,161
all my family is gonna
come looking for me!
1165
01:05:01,498 --> 01:05:02,530
Why'd you do it?
1166
01:05:02,532 --> 01:05:04,165
Why did I do what?
1167
01:05:07,204 --> 01:05:09,271
Why did you do it?
1168
01:05:09,273 --> 01:05:11,339
If you explain to me
what it is that I did,
1169
01:05:11,341 --> 01:05:13,575
perhaps I can tell you
why I did it!
1170
01:05:13,577 --> 01:05:15,277
Ooh! Aah!
1171
01:05:21,451 --> 01:05:24,419
Ah, bloody hell.
1172
01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:28,156
I think I'm chafing
from all the walking already.
1173
01:05:28,158 --> 01:05:30,659
Oh, John,
you wouldn't happen to have
1174
01:05:30,661 --> 01:05:33,161
some of that oil
you put on your hair
1175
01:05:33,163 --> 01:05:35,163
to rub on my thighs,
would you?
1176
01:05:39,436 --> 01:05:40,702
- Oh!
- What? What is it?
1177
01:05:40,704 --> 01:05:42,237
Is the flash too bright?
1178
01:05:42,239 --> 01:05:44,272
No, no.
We need to get out of here.
1179
01:05:44,274 --> 01:05:48,076
There is no way
I'm leaving this party early.
1180
01:05:48,078 --> 01:05:50,045
Stop, stop, stop.
1181
01:05:50,047 --> 01:05:53,148
Look, I know the future,
and shit's about to pop off.
1182
01:05:53,150 --> 01:05:57,485
Quick, take a photo of me
holding the statue's tiny penis.
1183
01:05:57,487 --> 01:06:00,021
Okay, how's that?
1184
01:06:00,023 --> 01:06:02,090
Do I look like I'm holding it?
1185
01:06:02,092 --> 01:06:03,525
- Yeah, right on it.
- [click]
1186
01:06:03,527 --> 01:06:05,427
Is that small enough?
1187
01:06:05,429 --> 01:06:06,594
- Yeah.
- Okay.
1188
01:06:16,106 --> 01:06:17,172
Stop!
1189
01:06:18,241 --> 01:06:20,742
[coughing]
Guys!
1190
01:06:20,744 --> 01:06:22,110
I just farted.
1191
01:06:22,112 --> 01:06:23,979
Down. Quiet.
1192
01:06:23,981 --> 01:06:26,081
Seriously, it's like
a Dutch oven in here.
1193
01:06:26,083 --> 01:06:27,649
Ooh, grapes. Mmm!
1194
01:06:27,651 --> 01:06:30,051
Can't be discovered.
1195
01:06:30,053 --> 01:06:32,721
- More grapes, more grapes!
- Shh!
1196
01:06:32,723 --> 01:06:34,156
Where is your mother
and your brother?
1197
01:06:34,157 --> 01:06:36,458
Purgefest is about to begin.
1198
01:06:38,462 --> 01:06:41,763
♪♪ [fanfare]
1199
01:06:41,765 --> 01:06:45,633
Welcome
to Purgefest 2... 3000.
1200
01:06:45,635 --> 01:06:48,003
[cheering]
1201
01:06:48,005 --> 01:06:50,005
For as long
as I can remember,
1202
01:06:50,007 --> 01:06:52,007
my kingdom has been, uh...
1203
01:06:52,009 --> 01:06:55,377
Well, it's been known for its
sexual perversions, isn't it?
1204
01:06:55,379 --> 01:06:56,678
[cheering]
1205
01:06:56,680 --> 01:06:59,180
- And for its corruption.
- [cheering]
1206
01:06:59,182 --> 01:07:03,351
Violence, its betrayals,
and its bloodshed.
1207
01:07:03,353 --> 01:07:05,086
[cheering]
1208
01:07:05,088 --> 01:07:07,522
We're gonna put an end
to all that.
1209
01:07:07,524 --> 01:07:11,126
There's gonna be
no more raping
1210
01:07:11,128 --> 01:07:14,396
and no more killing
around here.
1211
01:07:14,398 --> 01:07:16,564
We're gonna hand in
our smartphones
1212
01:07:16,566 --> 01:07:18,500
'cause I don't want
no more pornography.
1213
01:07:18,502 --> 01:07:21,169
And were gonna hand in
all of our weapons,
1214
01:07:21,171 --> 01:07:23,104
and I mean everything.
1215
01:07:23,106 --> 01:07:25,273
I mean no more
kitchen knives,
1216
01:07:25,275 --> 01:07:27,375
no more forks,
nothing you can do nothing with.
1217
01:07:31,448 --> 01:07:34,315
Didn't they read
the invite?
1218
01:07:34,317 --> 01:07:36,518
Most of the people
in our kingdom
1219
01:07:36,520 --> 01:07:38,553
are illiterate, my lord.
1220
01:07:38,555 --> 01:07:41,489
They just heard there was
free food and a party.
1221
01:07:41,491 --> 01:07:46,327
I have the king
just where I want him.
1222
01:07:46,329 --> 01:07:49,397
Now, after just a little
manipulation
1223
01:07:49,399 --> 01:07:51,800
of Johnny Bang Bang,
1224
01:07:51,802 --> 01:07:57,539
then it's just a matter of time
before I mount the throne.
1225
01:07:57,541 --> 01:07:58,706
Enough!
1226
01:07:58,708 --> 01:08:01,609
I'm the fucking king!
[spits]
1227
01:08:01,611 --> 01:08:04,779
And I declare
that anyone participating
1228
01:08:04,781 --> 01:08:08,383
in these violent activities
1229
01:08:08,385 --> 01:08:12,187
is gonna be expelled
from the Eight Kingdoms.
1230
01:08:12,189 --> 01:08:16,157
[confused chatter]
1231
01:08:16,159 --> 01:08:17,592
What?
1232
01:08:17,594 --> 01:08:19,627
The Storks have kidnapped
my little brother.
1233
01:08:19,629 --> 01:08:21,429
I demand he be released
immediately.
1234
01:08:21,431 --> 01:08:23,865
Wait a minute. No, I mean,
you told me this morning
1235
01:08:23,867 --> 01:08:27,202
you wanted that little fella
punished, didn't you?
1236
01:08:27,204 --> 01:08:29,537
Yes. I despise him.
1237
01:08:29,539 --> 01:08:31,606
But he is still
my little brother.
1238
01:08:31,608 --> 01:08:35,810
I can't allow a Stork to kidnap
someone with my own blood.
1239
01:08:35,812 --> 01:08:40,548
If they don't return him
to us immediately,
1240
01:08:40,550 --> 01:08:42,684
you must ban them
from the Eight Kingdoms,
1241
01:08:42,686 --> 01:08:46,688
according to the declaration
you just made.
1242
01:08:46,690 --> 01:08:49,691
[video game beeping]
1243
01:08:51,361 --> 01:08:53,394
Come on,
you wretched scuzzball.
1244
01:08:53,396 --> 01:08:56,664
Gonna get you already.
Hold still!
1245
01:08:56,666 --> 01:08:57,899
Speak, troll!
1246
01:08:57,901 --> 01:09:02,270
Meet your gods as an honest man!
Confess!
1247
01:09:02,272 --> 01:09:03,838
Never! Oww!
1248
01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:06,174
All right, I confess,
I confess.
1249
01:09:06,176 --> 01:09:07,709
I choked him,
1250
01:09:07,711 --> 01:09:09,678
and I slapped him all around
the floor till he bled.
1251
01:09:09,679 --> 01:09:12,313
- I'm an evil man!
- Who are you talking about?
1252
01:09:12,315 --> 01:09:14,182
The Lord Commander
of the Southern Forces.
1253
01:09:14,184 --> 01:09:15,617
He's here!
1254
01:09:15,619 --> 01:09:17,819
In my pants.
Would you like to meet him?
1255
01:09:17,821 --> 01:09:19,754
Tell me the truth.
1256
01:09:19,756 --> 01:09:21,456
All right, all right,
I confess.
1257
01:09:21,458 --> 01:09:23,892
I'm the reason why
all the dragons are extinct.
1258
01:09:23,894 --> 01:09:26,728
I screwed them all
into their extinction.
1259
01:09:26,730 --> 01:09:29,597
I built the wall
with my wank hammer.
1260
01:09:29,599 --> 01:09:32,300
I stabbed a crazy king
with my flesh saber.
1261
01:09:32,302 --> 01:09:36,204
That's enough!
You tried to kill my son!
1262
01:09:36,206 --> 01:09:38,840
Oh, well, why would I
want to kill your son?
1263
01:09:38,842 --> 01:09:40,942
I don't know!
You tell me!
1264
01:09:40,944 --> 01:09:42,610
Ohh!
1265
01:09:44,481 --> 01:09:47,549
What, no more wax?
[laughs]
1266
01:09:54,724 --> 01:09:56,925
Yes! I got you!
1267
01:09:58,795 --> 01:10:01,963
Hodog, Hodog, Hodog.
1268
01:10:03,500 --> 01:10:04,632
Hodog!
1269
01:10:07,571 --> 01:10:09,270
Oh, shit.
1270
01:10:09,272 --> 01:10:10,438
[boom]
1271
01:10:11,875 --> 01:10:13,808
What was that?
1272
01:10:13,810 --> 01:10:16,578
The king into fireworks?
What the fuck is that?
1273
01:10:19,683 --> 01:10:24,552
Well, I guess we know...
1274
01:10:24,554 --> 01:10:28,756
what happened
to the dragonfire now.
1275
01:10:28,758 --> 01:10:31,292
You check it out.
I'll take care of the troll.
1276
01:10:31,294 --> 01:10:32,894
Yes, Mother.
1277
01:10:32,896 --> 01:10:34,729
Ohh. Ooh, ooh!
1278
01:10:34,731 --> 01:10:37,599
You're turning me on, you...
[laughs]
1279
01:10:37,601 --> 01:10:40,935
Now we will have to find
some other way to kill the king.
1280
01:10:40,937 --> 01:10:43,571
Whoever did this
must have known our plans.
1281
01:10:43,573 --> 01:10:45,306
DEADARD:
Bobb, where's your mother?
1282
01:10:45,308 --> 01:10:47,809
She has the troll. She's trying
to make him confess.
1283
01:10:47,811 --> 01:10:50,678
You must tell her to bring him
to the feast immediately,
1284
01:10:50,680 --> 01:10:53,581
or our entire family's gonna be
banned from the Eight Kingdoms!
1285
01:10:53,583 --> 01:10:55,416
Yes, Father, I shall go now.
1286
01:10:55,418 --> 01:10:57,986
This was the work
of a true genius.
1287
01:11:04,928 --> 01:11:06,694
Yes!
1288
01:11:06,696 --> 01:11:08,429
I did it!
1289
01:11:08,431 --> 01:11:09,897
I got the bone!
1290
01:11:09,899 --> 01:11:12,634
I am the dragon master!
1291
01:11:21,945 --> 01:11:24,712
- How are you guys?
- This is so much fun.
1292
01:11:24,714 --> 01:11:26,614
Commander.
1293
01:11:26,616 --> 01:11:29,317
I've come to help.
1294
01:11:29,319 --> 01:11:31,819
John, I thought
you were at the wall.
1295
01:11:31,821 --> 01:11:33,788
I heard you were
in trouble, Father.
1296
01:11:33,790 --> 01:11:35,757
Who told you
we might be in trouble?
1297
01:11:35,759 --> 01:11:36,791
My friend Ham.
1298
01:11:36,793 --> 01:11:38,726
Ham?
1299
01:11:38,728 --> 01:11:41,329
The fat guy?
1300
01:11:45,302 --> 01:11:47,502
No, just one bite.
1301
01:11:47,504 --> 01:11:49,537
No.
1302
01:11:49,539 --> 01:11:51,072
No, I'm...
1303
01:11:51,074 --> 01:11:52,573
Come on.
1304
01:11:52,575 --> 01:11:57,011
Deadard, where is the troll?
1305
01:11:57,013 --> 01:12:00,348
I know nothing about the troll.
I swear it to it!
1306
01:12:00,350 --> 01:12:01,849
He's lying. Look at him.
1307
01:12:01,851 --> 01:12:03,584
Release him at once
1308
01:12:03,586 --> 01:12:07,388
or be banished
from the kingdom, my brother.
1309
01:12:07,390 --> 01:12:09,023
Bros before ho's.
1310
01:12:09,025 --> 01:12:10,758
Here he is, Your Grace.
1311
01:12:10,760 --> 01:12:14,829
This troll
tried to murder my son.
1312
01:12:14,831 --> 01:12:16,030
That's not true!
1313
01:12:16,032 --> 01:12:18,366
- I'm innocent!
- Ugh!
1314
01:12:18,368 --> 01:12:21,636
That's a very low thing
that you did there, troll.
1315
01:12:21,638 --> 01:12:24,672
I'm gonna have to
cut you down to size.
1316
01:12:24,674 --> 01:12:26,607
Since you're in the arena,
1317
01:12:26,609 --> 01:12:30,445
I demand a trial by...
twerking.
1318
01:12:32,115 --> 01:12:36,851
[laughing]
1319
01:12:36,853 --> 01:12:40,555
[laughing continues]
1320
01:12:40,557 --> 01:12:42,123
What's twerking?
1321
01:12:42,125 --> 01:12:44,625
Allow me, Your Grace,
to defend my family's honor.
1322
01:12:44,627 --> 01:12:46,894
No, bastard.
As the firstborn,
1323
01:12:46,896 --> 01:12:48,996
I shall defend
my mother's honor.
1324
01:12:48,998 --> 01:12:51,132
The two of you, sit down.
1325
01:12:51,134 --> 01:12:54,736
I am the one who must
defend my wife's honor.
1326
01:12:54,738 --> 01:12:55,937
Hey!
1327
01:12:55,939 --> 01:12:58,740
I will twerk the troll
to death!
1328
01:12:58,742 --> 01:12:59,974
Wait a second!
1329
01:12:59,976 --> 01:13:01,642
You're four times
the size of me!
1330
01:13:01,644 --> 01:13:04,145
I demand a champion.
I have the right!
1331
01:13:04,147 --> 01:13:06,681
Well, who's your champion
going to be?
1332
01:13:08,017 --> 01:13:11,486
I name my nephew,
Jizzy Lays-my-sister.
1333
01:13:11,488 --> 01:13:12,987
Let's see him twerk!
1334
01:13:12,989 --> 01:13:14,956
I can't twerk.
I'm just... a dick.
1335
01:13:16,526 --> 01:13:18,826
Ha! About time
you admitted it.
1336
01:13:18,828 --> 01:13:19,861
Right.
1337
01:13:19,863 --> 01:13:22,997
I choose... Hodog!
1338
01:13:24,634 --> 01:13:25,767
Hodog.
1339
01:13:26,770 --> 01:13:30,571
♪♪ [hip-hop]
1340
01:13:36,112 --> 01:13:37,112
Show him, Dad!
1341
01:13:45,088 --> 01:13:46,921
- Help!
- Yep, yep.
1342
01:13:46,923 --> 01:13:47,923
Not yet.
1343
01:13:52,495 --> 01:13:54,629
I do not wish
to continue this battle.
1344
01:13:54,631 --> 01:13:58,866
I will spare Hodog's life
and let the troll live.
1345
01:13:58,868 --> 01:14:01,602
I demand nothing in return.
1346
01:14:04,207 --> 01:14:06,073
He was my friend.
1347
01:14:06,075 --> 01:14:09,076
He could've been somebody,
instead of a bum.
1348
01:14:11,181 --> 01:14:15,917
Deadard, no!
1349
01:14:19,923 --> 01:14:21,155
Die!
1350
01:14:21,157 --> 01:14:26,694
I... want... you...
to... die!
1351
01:14:31,134 --> 01:14:33,568
My own wife.
1352
01:14:33,570 --> 01:14:37,004
My own beautiful wife.
1353
01:14:37,006 --> 01:14:39,006
What happened to you?
1354
01:14:41,144 --> 01:14:44,479
Jizzy is not your son.
1355
01:14:50,620 --> 01:14:53,988
Yeah, but he really looks
just like me.
1356
01:14:53,990 --> 01:14:55,723
JIZZY: I'm king.
1357
01:14:55,725 --> 01:14:58,926
[laughs]
I'm king!
1358
01:14:58,928 --> 01:15:01,863
Yes, son, of course you're king.
You're king.
1359
01:15:07,904 --> 01:15:09,737
I'm king.
1360
01:15:09,739 --> 01:15:10,938
And you're mine.
1361
01:15:13,576 --> 01:15:15,776
Okay, guards,
kill all the Storks.
1362
01:15:15,778 --> 01:15:17,578
Kill them all!
Kill everyone!
1363
01:15:17,580 --> 01:15:19,080
Wait! Except Sansia.
1364
01:15:19,082 --> 01:15:21,582
I want to give her
a pearl necklace and a foot rub.
1365
01:15:22,919 --> 01:15:24,919
[screams]
1366
01:15:30,527 --> 01:15:32,693
That's it. Shh.
1367
01:15:50,780 --> 01:15:52,880
You want some, do ya?
Do ya?
1368
01:16:01,257 --> 01:16:04,191
That's it. Shh.
1369
01:16:08,765 --> 01:16:10,598
Hey, come here,
you little bastard!
1370
01:16:14,837 --> 01:16:17,672
Go back to the wall!
1371
01:16:19,842 --> 01:16:21,309
Die!
1372
01:16:23,846 --> 01:16:27,081
[grunts]
1373
01:16:30,720 --> 01:16:31,819
[stab]
1374
01:16:34,958 --> 01:16:36,190
[stab]
1375
01:16:44,167 --> 01:16:46,033
Hodog!
1376
01:16:48,371 --> 01:16:52,740
Hodog! Hodog!
1377
01:17:05,388 --> 01:17:07,088
[laughs]
1378
01:17:07,090 --> 01:17:09,156
Who wants to see
a magic trick?
1379
01:17:11,928 --> 01:17:14,695
[screams]
I'm melting!
1380
01:17:14,697 --> 01:17:16,364
Melting!
1381
01:17:16,366 --> 01:17:18,766
Melting, melting!
1382
01:17:29,178 --> 01:17:33,748
This is Trumpet Arena,
the greatest arena in the world!
1383
01:17:33,750 --> 01:17:35,182
I own it!
1384
01:17:35,184 --> 01:17:37,385
I strongly advise you
to leave the area, sir.
1385
01:17:37,387 --> 01:17:40,087
I am so sick of you, Miller.
1386
01:17:40,089 --> 01:17:41,656
You don't know anything!
1387
01:17:41,658 --> 01:17:44,125
But I just want
to protect you, sir.
1388
01:17:44,127 --> 01:17:46,127
We could've
made America great again.
1389
01:17:46,129 --> 01:17:47,194
Idiot!
1390
01:17:47,196 --> 01:17:51,065
People of Wild Westerworld,
1391
01:17:51,067 --> 01:17:54,235
- I've done everything for you,
- Dragon Bone.
1392
01:17:54,237 --> 01:17:56,237
And all I ask in return
1393
01:17:56,239 --> 01:17:59,674
is that you capture
that woman
1394
01:17:59,676 --> 01:18:02,043
and grab her by the pussy.
1395
01:18:02,045 --> 01:18:04,812
Grab her by the pussy!
1396
01:18:13,856 --> 01:18:15,923
[stab]
1397
01:18:15,925 --> 01:18:17,358
Oh, man!
1398
01:18:29,806 --> 01:18:32,807
Well, if it isn't John Doe.
1399
01:18:32,809 --> 01:18:35,309
How's the life
of an inbred prince?
1400
01:18:35,311 --> 01:18:37,978
It's going great. How's life
in your Mexican gardener?
1401
01:18:37,980 --> 01:18:39,146
Let's go, princess.
1402
01:18:41,250 --> 01:18:43,851
[stab]
1403
01:18:43,853 --> 01:18:46,287
Hello, princess.
1404
01:18:46,289 --> 01:18:47,855
Killed another Mexican.
1405
01:18:47,857 --> 01:18:49,156
[stab]
1406
01:19:12,749 --> 01:19:15,750
I told you motherfuckers
y'all was gonna die.
1407
01:19:23,960 --> 01:19:25,459
Yippee!
1408
01:19:25,461 --> 01:19:27,461
The throne is mine!
1409
01:19:29,198 --> 01:19:33,033
The goddamn throne...
1410
01:19:33,035 --> 01:19:34,435
is mine!
1411
01:19:34,437 --> 01:19:36,103
[laughing]
1412
01:19:36,105 --> 01:19:37,772
- [slash]
- Whoa!
1413
01:19:46,182 --> 01:19:48,783
NARRATOR: Seven kingdoms.
1414
01:19:48,785 --> 01:19:51,118
Now all perished.
1415
01:19:51,120 --> 01:19:53,154
Death is certain.
1416
01:19:53,156 --> 01:19:55,923
Life is not.
1417
01:19:58,427 --> 01:20:00,361
But not in this movie.
1418
01:20:00,363 --> 01:20:02,330
You didn't think we were gonna
kill everybody, did you?
1419
01:20:02,331 --> 01:20:04,231
Come on, man,
this is Hollywood,
1420
01:20:04,233 --> 01:20:06,100
We need a sequel.
1421
01:20:14,043 --> 01:20:15,276
[gasps]
1422
01:20:15,278 --> 01:20:19,847
♪♪
1423
01:20:24,887 --> 01:20:26,287
♪ It goes lights,
camera, action ♪
1424
01:20:26,289 --> 01:20:27,988
♪ When I step into
the limelight ♪
1425
01:20:27,990 --> 01:20:30,491
♪ Easily adapted
to the high life ♪
1426
01:20:30,493 --> 01:20:32,160
♪ Dressed to impress
like it's prom night ♪
1427
01:20:32,161 --> 01:20:33,928
♪ And when you living
top shelf ♪
1428
01:20:33,930 --> 01:20:35,863
♪ You know you gotta
set the bar high ♪
1429
01:20:35,865 --> 01:20:37,531
♪ Had the same dream
since we was kids ♪
1430
01:20:37,533 --> 01:20:40,234
♪ Big chips, big cars,
and even bigger cribs ♪
1431
01:20:40,236 --> 01:20:42,870
♪ Never thought that it would
happen just the way it did ♪
1432
01:20:42,872 --> 01:20:45,339
♪ Fast forward that now
It's just the way we live ♪
1433
01:20:45,341 --> 01:20:48,008
♪ There's good food and drinks
My mood makes you think ♪
1434
01:20:48,010 --> 01:20:50,344
♪ That this life's
made for a king ♪
1435
01:20:50,346 --> 01:20:52,313
♪ The room starts
to shake so smooth ♪
1436
01:20:52,315 --> 01:20:55,015
♪ If you blink, you might
just miss the whole thing ♪
1437
01:20:55,017 --> 01:20:57,384
♪ It's just a different way
to move ♪
1438
01:20:57,386 --> 01:21:00,087
♪ Living the high life ♪
1439
01:21:00,089 --> 01:21:02,590
♪ So many different things
to do ♪
1440
01:21:02,592 --> 01:21:05,426
♪ Living the high life ♪
1441
01:21:05,428 --> 01:21:08,395
♪ There's good food and drinks
My mood makes you think ♪
1442
01:21:08,397 --> 01:21:10,431
♪ That this life's
made for a king ♪
1443
01:21:10,433 --> 01:21:12,967
♪ So many different things
to do ♪
1444
01:21:12,969 --> 01:21:16,370
♪ Living the high life ♪
1445
01:21:16,372 --> 01:21:18,539
♪ And now it's girls, girls,
girls I adore ♪
1446
01:21:18,541 --> 01:21:20,908
♪ The coupe only sit two,
but in the back I got four ♪
1447
01:21:20,910 --> 01:21:23,911
♪ Talking about this high life,
I mean as high as it go ♪
1448
01:21:23,913 --> 01:21:26,248
♪ That's kites, planes, clouds,
the bank accounts that I own ♪
1449
01:21:26,249 --> 01:21:29,416
♪ Funny thing it all started
from a pen and a poem ♪
1450
01:21:29,418 --> 01:21:31,218
Good evening.
It's Piff, the magic dragon.
1451
01:21:31,220 --> 01:21:33,254
I'm here with one of the...
1452
01:21:33,256 --> 01:21:35,890
Well, the sole funder,
actually, of this movie,
1453
01:21:35,892 --> 01:21:39,260
Mr. Donald J. Trump.
1454
01:21:39,262 --> 01:21:42,162
Yes, Donald J. Trump.
The J is for John.
1455
01:21:42,164 --> 01:21:45,099
For John?
I thought it was for Jesus.
1456
01:21:45,101 --> 01:21:46,667
So you produced
Purge of Thrones,
1457
01:21:46,669 --> 01:21:48,535
and you're
one of the characters.
1458
01:21:48,537 --> 01:21:50,671
Tell us, how did you
audition for the role?
1459
01:21:50,673 --> 01:21:52,606
Uh, good question.
1460
01:21:52,608 --> 01:21:56,143
This is the skin I shedded
like a snake,
1461
01:21:56,145 --> 01:21:57,978
at least three weeks ago.
1462
01:21:57,980 --> 01:22:00,648
We're here with two of
our lovely cast members.
1463
01:22:00,650 --> 01:22:02,316
Would you like
to introduce yourselves?
1464
01:22:02,318 --> 01:22:05,519
First of all,
I'm just lovely without "this."
1465
01:22:05,521 --> 01:22:07,655
- What's this?
- You did it.
1466
01:22:07,657 --> 01:22:11,025
Yeah, "lovely."
I was just emphasizing it.
1467
01:22:11,027 --> 01:22:12,193
You said you had
a penis voice.
1468
01:22:12,194 --> 01:22:13,394
What's your penis voice?
1469
01:22:13,396 --> 01:22:16,196
My penis voice
is a little deep.
1470
01:22:16,198 --> 01:22:18,365
How's it going, Mum?
1471
01:22:18,367 --> 01:22:20,935
Living the
Mother of Dragons dream.
1472
01:22:20,937 --> 01:22:22,636
What is that dream?
1473
01:22:22,638 --> 01:22:25,072
Uh, conquering
the Eight Kingdoms.
1474
01:22:25,074 --> 01:22:27,374
- Eight Kingdoms?
- Yeah, I think.
1475
01:22:27,376 --> 01:22:29,543
And what are these kingdoms?
1476
01:22:29,545 --> 01:22:33,213
Gosh, I don't know.
1477
01:22:33,215 --> 01:22:34,715
Does it really matter?
1478
01:22:34,717 --> 01:22:36,283
Apparently not.
1479
01:22:38,187 --> 01:22:40,187
- Do you want some?
- Yeah.
1480
01:22:44,493 --> 01:22:47,428
So tell us about
Purge of Thrones.
1481
01:22:50,499 --> 01:22:52,533
Are you gonna have
the whole thing or...
1482
01:22:52,535 --> 01:22:56,170
Yeah, I'm a growing dragon.
1483
01:22:56,172 --> 01:22:58,272
This is the castle
they've given me to reside in
1484
01:22:58,274 --> 01:23:00,140
for the rest of my life.
1485
01:23:00,142 --> 01:23:02,210
They originally thought
it was to the end of the shoot,
1486
01:23:02,211 --> 01:23:04,512
but actually I took out a word
and replaced it with "life."
1487
01:23:04,513 --> 01:23:06,981
So this is now
my genuine castle.
1488
01:23:06,983 --> 01:23:08,649
Some of it is on flames, yep.
1489
01:23:08,651 --> 01:23:11,018
We just put some of it on fire.
1490
01:23:11,020 --> 01:23:13,554
We got about 20 minutes before
that place burns to the ground,
1491
01:23:13,556 --> 01:23:16,256
and we lose yet another
English heritage site.
1492
01:23:16,258 --> 01:23:18,692
During the process,
what moments led you
1493
01:23:18,694 --> 01:23:21,762
to feel most in tune
with yourself on set?
1494
01:23:21,764 --> 01:23:23,664
- Whiskey.
- Whiskey, great.
1495
01:23:23,666 --> 01:23:25,599
- Oh, my gosh.
- You were great. Good job.
1496
01:23:25,601 --> 01:23:27,101
Thank you very much.
1497
01:23:31,273 --> 01:23:33,140
Can I get some cake?
1498
01:23:33,142 --> 01:23:35,743
What is it that you enjoy most
about Purge of Thrones?
1499
01:23:35,745 --> 01:23:39,179
Well, obviously everyone
'cause everyone's been great.
1500
01:23:39,181 --> 01:23:41,015
Most people
just say the money.
1501
01:23:41,017 --> 01:23:43,617
No, because
I'm not gonna get paid.
1502
01:23:43,619 --> 01:23:45,586
Yeah, I'm just
hanging around here.
1503
01:23:45,588 --> 01:23:48,288
Guess it's how they afford
everyone else's exorbitant fees.
1504
01:23:48,290 --> 01:23:49,723
Exactly.
1505
01:23:49,725 --> 01:23:52,659
How am I supposed to answer
serious questions
1506
01:23:52,661 --> 01:23:54,695
to a man who's
dressed like this?
1507
01:23:54,697 --> 01:23:56,664
- I'm a genuine magic dragon.
- It's just not going to work.
1508
01:23:56,665 --> 01:23:58,599
I'm directing this,
I wrote this,
1509
01:23:58,601 --> 01:24:00,401
and I'm funding this.
1510
01:24:00,403 --> 01:24:02,336
This is gonna be
the biggest film
1511
01:24:02,338 --> 01:24:04,538
in the history of film since,
what, the Titanic,
1512
01:24:04,540 --> 01:24:06,240
which is huge.
1513
01:24:06,242 --> 01:24:08,542
But this is gonna sweep
the Academy Awards next year.
1514
01:24:08,544 --> 01:24:10,044
Just sweep it.
1515
01:24:10,046 --> 01:24:13,080
We're gonna make purging
great again.
1516
01:24:13,082 --> 01:24:14,415
No one purges like me.
No one!
1517
01:24:14,417 --> 01:24:16,150
- Make purging great again?
- Yes.
1518
01:24:16,152 --> 01:24:18,185
That's what we're going for.
1519
01:24:18,187 --> 01:24:21,288
I don't think I'm getting paid
enough gold for this, guys.
1520
01:24:21,290 --> 01:24:25,325
All of this is lies.
It's a bunch of crap. It's crap.
1521
01:24:25,327 --> 01:24:28,062
These guys are losers.
They're lightweights.
1522
01:24:28,064 --> 01:24:30,364
They're nobodies.
They don't know me.
1523
01:24:30,366 --> 01:24:31,799
They don't know
how great I am.
1524
01:24:31,801 --> 01:24:35,769
All that they do is spread
disinformation about me.
1525
01:24:35,771 --> 01:24:39,840
I'm so sick of watching
this crap every single night.
1526
01:24:39,842 --> 01:24:41,308
They don't know me.
1527
01:24:41,310 --> 01:24:42,577
They don't know
how tremendous I am.
1528
01:24:42,578 --> 01:24:44,445
They don't know
how fantastic I am,
1529
01:24:44,447 --> 01:24:47,314
what a great guy I am,
what a great businessman I am.
1530
01:24:47,316 --> 01:24:49,316
This is all just fake news!
1531
01:24:49,318 --> 01:24:52,419
Every single night
is just fake news about me!
1532
01:24:52,421 --> 01:24:54,755
And I'm a really,
really nice guy,
1533
01:24:54,757 --> 01:24:57,157
and I shouldn't be
picked on like this!
1534
01:24:57,159 --> 01:24:58,425
Pence!
107262
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