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1
00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:05,222
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Is that the banner
2
00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:06,832
Mom put up for me
when I came home?
3
00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:08,182
Yes, it is.
4
00:00:08,225 --> 00:00:09,531
Can you see
where we changed it?
5
00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:12,142
No.
6
00:00:12,186 --> 00:00:14,188
It's a marvel of engineering.
7
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:16,320
God bless America.
8
00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:19,758
So, did the Academy hassle you
for taking a couple days off?
9
00:00:19,802 --> 00:00:22,109
No. I told my C.O.
that Mom was having another kid,
10
00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:26,026
so if anyone asks, Jen is
a newborn, and Dad is Asian.
11
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:29,290
I can't believe Dad agreed
12
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,248
to let a foreign exchange
student live here.
13
00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:32,902
He hates guests.
14
00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:34,338
No, he doesn't.
He loves them.
15
00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:36,645
Every time I talk about
eventually moving out,
16
00:00:36,688 --> 00:00:40,257
he always says
he's "counting the days."
17
00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:41,954
All right, let's go.
18
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:44,087
I just got a text from your mom.
She's on her way.
19
00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:46,307
Not real good with the emojis,
unless she's actually
20
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:51,181
bringing a unicorn, an eggplant
and three little turds.
21
00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:53,705
Hey, are you gonna be able to
get through the next six months
22
00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:55,272
with a stranger living
in this house?
23
00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:59,233
Yeah, it's like a horror movie--
It Came from Abroad.
24
00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:00,538
Relax. I'm gonna be fine.
25
00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:02,105
Those two girls'll be talking
to each other.
26
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:04,107
That means I don't have to talk
to either one of them.
27
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:07,371
No, I-I think you two
are gonna get super close,
28
00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:09,156
and you're gonna be heartbroken
when she's gone.
29
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:11,114
Just like me, right, Mr. B?
30
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:14,378
Yeah. Counting the days, Kyle.
31
00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:18,165
-Oh. Hey, babe.
-Guess who I have with me?
32
00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:21,385
-[laughing]: Hey. Hi.
-I hope it's Jen.
We made a sign.
33
00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,126
Hello, everyone.
34
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,954
-Hi, Jen.
It's good to see you again.
-MIKE: Hi, Jen.
35
00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:27,261
'Ello, 'ello, 'ello.
36
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:31,047
Hong Kong is British, right?
37
00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:35,007
♪
38
00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,753
Morning, Jen.
39
00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:43,407
-Good morning, Mr. Baxter.
-[laughs]
40
00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:45,453
[groans]
41
00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:55,550
Wow, the coffee looks a lot
like tea.
42
00:01:55,593 --> 00:01:58,161
I'm sorry.
I couldn't find a kettle.
43
00:01:58,205 --> 00:02:01,556
Yeah, I hide the kettle
so no one will make tea.
44
00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:04,863
You're up early.
45
00:02:04,907 --> 00:02:07,301
The early bird.
That's an expression.
46
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:10,434
I know.
It means I get to eat the worm.
47
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:13,089
I've learned a lot
of American expressions.
48
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,309
Don't count your chickens,
a bird in the hand,
49
00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:17,267
all your eggs in one basket.
50
00:02:17,311 --> 00:02:19,530
You people learn a lot
of lessons from birds.
51
00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:23,230
You should see us flip them
while we're in traffic.
52
00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:28,409
So, you got the paper.
53
00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:30,367
-Yes, reading the paper helps me
with my English.
-Good.
54
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:33,457
If I see a word I want
to use more, I circle it.
55
00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:35,590
Hey. Oh, look at that.
56
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:38,245
You circled "boundaries."
Have you looked that up?
57
00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:42,031
[stammers]
58
00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:54,478
All right. Let's see
what's in the news today.
59
00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:57,351
The stock market's up, voters in
Ohio approved a new racetrack,
60
00:02:57,394 --> 00:03:00,354
and one of the bachelorettes
is back in rehab.
61
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:04,358
Saved me a little bit of time,
didn't you?
62
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:06,447
If you'd just finish
the crossword puzzle,
63
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,666
I won't have anything to...
Look it. You've done that.
64
00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:11,016
You finished
the crossword puzzle.
65
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:13,149
Oh, no.
I'm upsetting your routine.
66
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,325
I hope you don't also
do the sudoku.
67
00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:16,892
Not today.
68
00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:20,156
Morning.
69
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,376
Vanessa! Yay!
70
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:23,899
Oh, hi.
71
00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:26,162
[laughing]:
Okay.
72
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,643
Oh, my goodness, so,
you're also a morning person.
73
00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:30,514
My, it's a small world.
74
00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:32,560
And a small kitchen.
75
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:37,521
Hey, the mail came.
76
00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,393
It came yesterday, too, Kyle.
77
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:41,438
That's what mail does.
78
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:43,135
You know, Mr. Alzate sent away
79
00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:45,355
to this company
to find out his ancestry.
80
00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:49,446
Hey, wouldn't it be cool if in a
previous life he was Cleopatra?
81
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:52,623
That's not how it works.
82
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:55,670
And-and he already knows
who his ancestors are.
83
00:03:55,713 --> 00:03:58,499
He tells me twice a day
that they're from
84
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:01,110
[imitating Ed]: "the great
Basque region of Spain."
85
00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:04,505
Hey, Kyle. Kyle, did it come?
86
00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:07,508
Uh, let's see.
Mr. B, Mr. B. Nah.
87
00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:09,988
It doesn't look like it's here,
Mr. Alzate. Uh, maybe tomorrow.
88
00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:11,990
Oh, damn it.
89
00:04:12,034 --> 00:04:14,079
You know who has
the best mail service?
90
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:16,517
The great Basque region
of Spain.
91
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,562
Isn't that where
your people are from, Ed?
92
00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:23,132
Oh, yes, yes, yes,
and another little-known fact--
93
00:04:23,175 --> 00:04:25,569
the Basque invented soup.
94
00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:28,224
Oddly enough, a bisque.
95
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,532
Hey, uh, why is it so important
for you to get this report
96
00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:33,534
if you already know
what it's gonna say?
97
00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:34,752
Because I want to be certain.
98
00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:36,319
You don't know who you truly are
99
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,234
unless you know
where you come from.
100
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,671
-Yeah, he's right.
-[chuckles]
101
00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:43,370
For years, I thought
my father was an arsonist.
102
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,372
Mm-hmm.
103
00:04:45,415 --> 00:04:48,375
And then, my mom explained to me
that he was actually a bigamist.
104
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:51,595
-Talk about relief.
-[laughs]
105
00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:53,380
Hey, hey.
Hey, look here.
106
00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:54,990
On this website,
they have an example
107
00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:56,470
of one of their DNA reports.
108
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,123
You know,
with a little photoshopping,
109
00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:00,561
we could get this to say
whatever we want
110
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:02,127
about where Ed comes from.
111
00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:03,390
Why would we do that?
112
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:06,044
Well, it'd be fun
to see Ed find out
113
00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:08,743
he isn't as Basque
as he thinks he is.
114
00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:13,704
MIKE:
This is great.
115
00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:15,706
Broncos on TV, you and I
116
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:18,318
drinking, cursing,
no women around.
117
00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:24,062
Want me to pull your finger
for old times' sake?
118
00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:28,415
Only if we're trailing
in the fourth quarter.
119
00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:32,593
Ah, it's always so nice to see
you guys having fun together.
120
00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:33,811
We're not having fun.
121
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,465
Sitting here
on this couch together
122
00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:37,249
guarantees a Broncos victory.
123
00:05:37,293 --> 00:05:39,382
Well, I thought it'd be nice
if you asked Jen
124
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,428
to watch the game with you.
125
00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:43,299
I was, I was just about to.
126
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,520
Are you sure?
I don't really know much
127
00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:47,782
about American football.
128
00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:49,436
Well, that's just
about to change.
129
00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:50,741
Uh, sit down.
130
00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:53,048
Careful where you sit.
He's superstitious.
131
00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:54,963
I'm not that superstitious.
Sit down.
132
00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:57,400
-Okay.
-Uh, no, no.
Don't, don't, don't.
133
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:03,058
All right, well, I am off to
teach osmosis to a fifth grader.
134
00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:04,581
I just hope he absorbs it.
135
00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:06,670
Ah! That wasn't a bad pun.
136
00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:08,019
That was pretty funny, actually.
137
00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:09,760
Uh, no. No, that wasn't a pun.
138
00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:12,372
He's not smart.
139
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:16,071
Okay, still first quarter.
140
00:06:16,114 --> 00:06:17,638
We're playing the Chargers.
141
00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:19,117
White helmet
with the little lightning bolt.
142
00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:20,684
We don't like them.
143
00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:23,034
All right, you got any
questions, just fire 'em out.
144
00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:24,645
Let's watch a little, huh?
145
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:26,342
Why do they wear
their face masks?
146
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,518
Is that so
they don't bite each other?
147
00:06:28,562 --> 00:06:30,433
I...
148
00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:33,262
I-I don't know.
149
00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:36,700
They use their hands much more
than they use their feet.
150
00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:38,485
Why isn't it called handball?
151
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:42,271
Uh, I-I don't know.
152
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:45,622
Punt.
153
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,450
Okay, go, go, go, go.
154
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:48,712
[grunts softly]
155
00:06:48,756 --> 00:06:50,758
-Fair catch.
-Fair catch.
156
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,589
Mr. Baxter,
does it help your team
157
00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:58,069
when you wear their blouses?
158
00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:03,466
They're actually...
they're called jerseys.
159
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,686
You know what?
We should just watch the game
160
00:07:05,729 --> 00:07:08,384
and then, ask the questions at
the end or something like that.
161
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,473
Oh, there's a commercial.
I got a ball in the yard.
162
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:11,866
-You want to go kick it around?
-No, no, no, no!
163
00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:13,737
-Yes!
-If you leave,
164
00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:15,130
you take the mojo with ya.
165
00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:17,393
Sorry, Dad.
Got to be a good host.
166
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,134
Well, I hope we're not trailing
in the fourth quarter.
167
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:21,571
I can't pull my own finger.
168
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,752
Mike, can we talk?
169
00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:31,668
Or you still not over
your little disappointment?
170
00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:34,062
Listen, a little disappointment
would be the doctor saying,
171
00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:35,846
-"You're going
to have another girl."
-Oh.
172
00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:38,196
This is a big thing.
173
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,111
The Broncos lost.
174
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:41,939
So how is that my fault?
175
00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:44,159
Because you made Jen
watch the game with us.
176
00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:45,769
Then she and Eve took off,
177
00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:47,728
went outside,
took the mojo with them.
178
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,294
The Broncos end up
losing the game.
179
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:51,732
-It's science.
-Oh.
180
00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:53,734
Well, I'm sorry.
181
00:07:53,777 --> 00:07:55,431
I just want you two
to get along.
182
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,998
-Why is that so important?
-[sighs]
183
00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:59,217
Because, honey, Jen is gonna
be here for six months.
184
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:01,437
I want her to feel
like this is her home,
185
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,960
and-and not feel like
186
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:05,136
she's got to tiptoe
around the master of the house.
187
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:06,660
"Master of the house."
188
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:08,749
How come we don't use that term
more often?
189
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:11,534
Come on. This is supposed to be
a great experience for her.
190
00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:13,144
I'm not asking you
to be her best friend.
191
00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:15,407
-You just have to be nice.
-Go with me on this.
192
00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,758
How about if I'm absent?
193
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:21,762
'Cause if you think about it,
that would be nice.
194
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:23,981
You're going to find something
you two have in common,
195
00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:25,461
and you're gonna bond.
196
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,115
I'm a middle-aged man
from Colorado.
197
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:29,117
She's a teenager from Hong Kong.
198
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:32,555
The only thing on
that Venn diagram are egg rolls.
199
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:35,427
[scoffs] Well, keep-keep
trying things, okay?
200
00:08:35,471 --> 00:08:37,560
Why-why don't you take Jen
to Outdoor Man?
201
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:39,170
It's everything you love
under one roof.
202
00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:41,346
Your solution to not getting
along with her at home
203
00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:42,826
is take her to work with me?
204
00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:49,964
He hasn't come out yet?
205
00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:52,444
You gave him that fake report,
like, two hours ago.
206
00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:54,142
Yeah. I don't know.
207
00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:56,710
I still don't know if we should
be messing with a person's DNA.
208
00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:59,060
You know, we're not scientists.
209
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:01,584
It's just a joke, Kyle.
210
00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,151
It still says he's Basque.
211
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:06,502
I just added a little French,
a little Russian...
212
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,983
and a whole lot of black.
213
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:12,508
[both laugh quietly]
214
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:15,729
ED:
Chuck! Chuck, get in here!
215
00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:17,644
Wait. Did he sound mad to you?
216
00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:21,735
Really mad, but the Russians are
a hot-tempered people.
217
00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:26,522
Hey, Ed.
218
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,308
My brother!
219
00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:34,225
Oh. Uh, what's happening?
220
00:09:34,269 --> 00:09:35,792
I have great, great news.
221
00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:38,142
I want to share it
with one of my people.
222
00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:43,844
Chuck, I'm black.
223
00:09:43,887 --> 00:09:46,498
Wow. Ed, that DNA report...
224
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:48,065
Has changed my life.
225
00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:49,763
Look at this.
226
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,678
I'm 37 and a half percent
West African.
227
00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:53,636
-Uh-huh.
-All right?
228
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,899
-My people were traced
to what is now Nigeria.
-Ah.
229
00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:58,293
Uh, uh, where are
your people from, Chuck?
230
00:09:58,336 --> 00:10:02,340
St. Louis. Ed,
231
00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:05,996
don't you find it a little hard
to believe that you're black?
232
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,782
No, no,
th-this answers everything. No.
233
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:11,785
See, my-my father always seemed
like he was keeping a secret,
234
00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:15,527
but now that I know what it was,
I finally feel close to him.
235
00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:17,878
This... this is a blessing.
236
00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:19,444
Oh, God.
237
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:22,273
Hey, Kyle? Kyle?
238
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,449
Kyle, would you...?
Uh, oh! Okay.
239
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:26,277
-Just stay close, Kyle. Come on.
-Yes, sir.
240
00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:27,714
Ed just found out he's black,
241
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,629
and his whole childhood
suddenly makes sense.
242
00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:33,676
-Mr. Alzate's black?
-Yeah.
243
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,374
That doesn't seem possible.
244
00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:38,333
For too long
the white man has tried
245
00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:39,900
to tell us what's possible.
Right, Chuck?
246
00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:41,945
Yeah, man.
247
00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:43,643
It's really held you back.
248
00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:47,255
Listen, I-I-I got
to get back to work.
249
00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:48,909
No, no, no, no, just-just...
[chuckles]
250
00:10:48,952 --> 00:10:50,911
You're sticking close to me.
No, no.
251
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:53,914
You have to enlighten me
on everything about our culture.
252
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:56,394
-Our culture?
-Yeah, sit down. How we eat.
253
00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:58,832
-Oh.
-How we dance, how we love.
254
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:02,749
Uh, I am not showing you
how we love, Ed.
255
00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:04,751
We'll start with our history,
all right?
256
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:07,754
Kyle, go find us
a copy of Roots.
257
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:08,972
Roots.
258
00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:11,061
That's nine and a half hours!
259
00:11:11,105 --> 00:11:14,195
Oh, we've been through worse,
my brother!
260
00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:19,940
We got hunting, fishing,
rock climbing over here.
261
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:22,159
It's ski season now,
so got ski masks.
262
00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:24,205
Very popular
with the bank robbers.
263
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:26,163
Oh, dear.
264
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:27,599
I'm kidding.
265
00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:28,862
It's a joke.
266
00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:30,994
But you do have a lot
of crime in America, right?
267
00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:33,388
We're number one.
268
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:36,304
Um... hey, hey, like boats?
269
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:37,871
We'll go see the boats.
They're, uh, beautiful.
270
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:39,960
It's a whole area, um--
271
00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:41,396
What am I saying?
You're from Hong Kong.
272
00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:42,745
You're a huge seaport.
273
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,791
You're, like, lousy with boats.
274
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:47,794
Yes, but I still get excited
seeing new ones.
275
00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:49,796
I think you're just being polite
with me.
276
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:51,798
No, not at all.
277
00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:54,452
That would be
the polite thing to say.
278
00:11:54,496 --> 00:11:56,324
Uh, let's take a different tack.
279
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:58,195
What are your interests?
We have a huge store.
280
00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,980
There's got to be something
in here that'd be cool for you.
281
00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:01,329
I really like origami.
282
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:03,157
We don't have that.
283
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,116
Oh, hey, Kris,
come here a minute.
284
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,031
-Hi.
-Jen, I'd like you
to meet Kristin,
285
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:08,771
my eldest daughter.
286
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:10,338
She runs the restaurant here.
287
00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:11,992
Jen, finally.
288
00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:14,211
Mom won't stop talking
about you.
289
00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:15,909
I mean,
she loves talking in general,
290
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:18,650
but she really lovestalking
about you.
291
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:21,044
[chuckles] How, uh,
how's my old room treating you?
292
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:23,133
Oh, that's your room?
It's awesome.
293
00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:24,918
Good, good.
Later, I'll, uh, show you
294
00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:27,398
the best way to...
[quietly]: sneak out the window.
295
00:12:27,442 --> 00:12:28,835
-[chuckling]
-After that,
296
00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:31,054
you can introduce her
to your son Boyd,
297
00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:34,057
the result
of sneaking out the window.
298
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:35,711
He's kidding. It...
299
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,713
It's funny 'cause it's true.
300
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:38,975
[chuckles]
301
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:41,673
It is so cool
you manage this place.
302
00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:43,458
My auntie runs a noodle shop
in Hong Kong.
303
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:44,851
I practically grew up there.
304
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,504
Oh, well,
the lunch rush is almost over.
305
00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:47,723
Do you want to tour the kitchen?
306
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,507
Yes, that would be awesome.
307
00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:52,075
Mr. Baxter, may I please
be excused to join Kristin?
308
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:54,861
Sure, I think you and I
have had enough fun.
309
00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:57,167
Oh, that was another joke.
310
00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:58,952
[forced laugh]
311
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:02,477
Uh, do you want something
to eat first?
312
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,871
We have coconut shrimp
in the buffet.
313
00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:06,437
-I love coconut shrimp.
-[chuckles]
314
00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:07,961
-[squeals]
-[laughs]
315
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:10,746
-I hate coconut shrimp.
-Oh,
316
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:11,834
I know that look.
317
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:13,053
It's the same one you had
318
00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:15,272
when Mom told you to try
and bond with Ryan.
319
00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:16,883
This is unbelievable.
320
00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:19,102
She gets along
with every human she runs into.
321
00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:21,539
But she can't get over
being polite to me.
322
00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:23,541
Well, you just have to find
something to do with her
323
00:13:23,585 --> 00:13:25,108
that makes her so comfortable
324
00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:28,242
she forgets that you
make her uncomfortable.
325
00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:30,070
What time do you want her back?
326
00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:32,072
I'm thinking, um...
327
00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:33,334
June.
328
00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:43,910
And then you fold that corner
to there
329
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:46,129
and that triangle to there
330
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:47,478
and...
331
00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:48,697
origami.
332
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:50,307
Boop.
333
00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:54,877
More like bore-igami.
334
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:58,054
I can't believe they killed
a tree for this stuff.
335
00:13:58,098 --> 00:14:00,013
Hey, you want
to learn origami or not?
336
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:03,538
Oh, God, no, I do not want to.
I'm doing this for your mom.
337
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:06,323
I'm just doing this so that Jen
will feel more at home here.
338
00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:10,153
It'd be easier
to get rid of your mom.
339
00:14:10,197 --> 00:14:13,026
-Ah.
-What?
340
00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:14,810
I just think it's funny that
you think sharing an interest
341
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,551
with her is the key
to getting along.
342
00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:18,248
I feel at home here,
343
00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:20,250
and you're not interested
in anything I care about.
344
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:23,253
I care about a lot of stuff
you're interested in.
345
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:24,994
Why didn't you come
to my first beauty pageant?
346
00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:31,392
You-you were
in a beauty pageant?
347
00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:33,089
Yeah, second place.
348
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:35,962
Completely rigged.
349
00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:37,746
Look, it doesn't matter
if you're interested.
350
00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:39,095
We love hanging out
with each other.
351
00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:40,096
That's 'cause I'm your dad,
352
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:43,143
and, by law,
I'm required to do that.
353
00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:46,755
And I have grown to appreciate
your hurtful sense of humor.
354
00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:47,974
Because I think you know
that mockery
355
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:51,629
is the sincerest form
of flattery.
356
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,631
No.
357
00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:56,983
You're just not comfortable when
you have to be nice to people.
358
00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:58,723
Maybe that's your problem
with Jen.
359
00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:01,726
I think you might
have just nailed it.
360
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,728
Thank you.
361
00:15:03,772 --> 00:15:07,036
Hey, wait, is that more
of your hurtful humor?
362
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,433
ED:
Okay, now,
363
00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:14,652
-so, we've covered soul food.
-Uh-huh.
364
00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:16,350
-And soul music, right?
-Mm.
365
00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:18,787
All right. Okay.
366
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,789
Tell me about this-this
Soul Train.
367
00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:23,009
[sighs]
368
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:25,533
Okay, y-you don't need
to know all this stuff, Ed.
369
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:28,057
There's not going to be a test.
370
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:29,406
Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay.
371
00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:30,973
Please, explain something.
372
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,757
Explain Arsenio.
373
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:34,629
-[groans]
-See, I-I just--
374
00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,152
-I-I never got him.
-Okay.
375
00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:39,242
All right,
I can't do this anymore.
376
00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:41,810
I faked the DNA results.
377
00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:44,552
This whole thing
was supposed to be a joke.
378
00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:46,119
-Excuse me?
-[scoffs]
379
00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:47,642
You were driving us crazy
380
00:15:47,685 --> 00:15:50,558
with your constant bragging
about being Basque,
381
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:54,649
and I-I just wanted
to have a little fun.
382
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,868
A little fun?
383
00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:59,654
With a man's ancestry?
384
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:02,657
With my unresolved
father issues?
385
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:04,267
I-In my defense,
386
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:06,226
I thought
you'd see right through it.
387
00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:10,795
You know, my uncle got his ear
chewed off by a billy goat.
388
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:14,234
Maybe there's a laugh
in that! Huh?
389
00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:15,191
-I'm...
-[knocking]
390
00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:16,932
Hey.
391
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,282
Hey, guys.
Uh, I'm headed home.
392
00:16:19,326 --> 00:16:21,023
I just wanted to see
how everybody's doing.
393
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:23,025
The world's turned
upside down, Kyle.
394
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:24,766
Turns out I'm not black.
395
00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:28,378
I am shocked...
396
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:31,033
that somebody would mess
with your DNA.
397
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:32,556
We're not scientists.
398
00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:35,124
You knew.
399
00:16:35,168 --> 00:16:36,038
[sighs]
400
00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:38,475
Look, I'm-I'm sorry, Mr. Alzate.
401
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:40,042
I wanted to tell you,
but you kept saying
402
00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:42,131
you were done listening
to the Man.
403
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,265
I'm sorry, too, Ed.
404
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:46,918
And if it makes you feel
any better,
405
00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:49,834
it's not easy being
a black man in Denver.
406
00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:52,185
Or anywhere.
407
00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:53,664
Well, then I guess...
408
00:16:53,708 --> 00:16:55,536
I'm back to being Basque.
409
00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:57,538
Hey, being Basque is great, sir.
410
00:16:57,581 --> 00:16:59,540
-Yeah.
-The-the history,
the traditions,
411
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,063
the soup.
412
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:03,065
Well, that's-that's true, yeah.
413
00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:05,285
There's one more good thing
about being Basque.
414
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:06,634
-CHUCK: Mm.
-Yes. [clears throat]
415
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:08,201
We can't be fooled.
416
00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:10,116
Uh-oh...
417
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:11,682
Yeah. Turns out,
418
00:17:11,726 --> 00:17:14,207
Beverly gave me
the real test results
419
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,252
before you "found" my report.
420
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:17,253
Yeah.
421
00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:19,255
I'm 82% Basque.
422
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:21,518
And 100% too smart
for you idiots.
423
00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:22,563
[Chuck laughs]
424
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:30,919
You made me watch
Madea Goes to Jail!
425
00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:32,529
[laughing]
426
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:34,705
Not cool.
427
00:17:34,749 --> 00:17:36,577
[all laugh]
428
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:40,189
That's a good one, Ed.
429
00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:41,756
Come on, Kyle.
430
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:43,497
Kyle, Kyle.
[laughs]: Just a minute.
431
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:46,239
There's just one more thing
I-I found in that report.
432
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,197
[chuckles]
I'm seven percent Norwegian.
433
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:49,546
Hey, I'm Norwegian.
434
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:50,895
Yes, I know, I know.
[chuckles]
435
00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:52,332
Come sit down,
my little brother.
436
00:17:54,377 --> 00:17:56,118
All right, now,
437
00:17:56,162 --> 00:18:00,166
Chuck, uh, Chuck,
go find us a copy of Frozen.
438
00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:06,041
Oh, there you are.
439
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,044
Oh, yes,
but I-I don't have to be.
440
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,177
No, no, no, you're-you're fine
where you are.
441
00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:14,745
Listen, um, do me a favor
and cut the TV off, okay?
442
00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:16,051
Thanks.
443
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,574
Listen, um...
444
00:18:17,618 --> 00:18:19,272
do you think I'm a nice guy?
445
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:21,361
Of course, Mr. Baxter.
446
00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:23,363
I'm not.
447
00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:24,799
I'm really...
448
00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:26,931
sometimes quite a jerk.
449
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:29,020
I don't know
how to respond to that.
450
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:31,371
I'm looking for things
that we have in common
451
00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:33,764
so that we're comfortable
around each other.
452
00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:35,157
Well, that doesn't seem right.
453
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:36,811
My father and I get along great,
454
00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:38,595
and we don't have anything
in common.
455
00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:41,990
Except that we both think
I'm adorable.
456
00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,209
[chuckles]
That's the kind of stuff you...
457
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:45,298
you shouldn't actually say
out loud.
458
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:48,170
So I think you should say
more stuff like that.
459
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:49,780
But wouldn't that be rude?
460
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:51,434
[sighs]
461
00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:53,219
Would you rather be polite
and uncomfortable
462
00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:55,612
or rude and comfortable?
463
00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:57,571
Can't you be polite
and comfortable?
464
00:18:57,614 --> 00:19:00,095
Eh...
465
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,359
Being polite so often
requires you to just care
466
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,361
about what other people are
doing and what they're feeling.
467
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:08,321
Being comfortable, sometimes...
468
00:19:08,364 --> 00:19:10,018
you just do what you want
469
00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:12,412
and other people
just deal with it.
470
00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:13,630
[chuckles]
471
00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:15,197
-I think I get it.
-Yeah?
472
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:17,199
So, if I wanted
to be comfortable,
473
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,201
I would say...
474
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:20,637
football sucks, soccer rules,
475
00:19:20,681 --> 00:19:23,423
and I do all my shopping online.
476
00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:25,207
Sure.
477
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:27,209
Origami's boring,
478
00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:29,559
and playing football
with your feet is stupid.
479
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:32,040
[scoffs]
480
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:36,087
And tea is for old women.
481
00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:39,090
So, from now on,
I should just act the way I want
482
00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:40,614
and not worry
about being polite?
483
00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:43,356
Yeah. Do whatever you want to do
until I say don't.
484
00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:45,184
That's the way
it works around here.
485
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:49,623
[speaking Chinese]
486
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:52,582
It's a little fast.
I didn't catch the last of that.
487
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:54,802
Something my father says.
488
00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:57,326
Roughly translated,
"I pay for that cell phone
489
00:19:57,370 --> 00:20:01,069
and the clothes on your back,
so watch it, Miss Thing."
490
00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:03,332
God, I like your dad
a lot already.
491
00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:06,292
So, just let me see
the remote here.
492
00:20:06,335 --> 00:20:08,903
-I was watching a movie.
-Don't care.
493
00:20:09,947 --> 00:20:11,384
That's not fair.
494
00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:13,516
You have a whole nother room
you can watch TV in.
495
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,083
Eh, still,
496
00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:16,606
don't care.
497
00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:18,129
Ugh!
498
00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:20,131
I feel like I'm at home.
499
00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:21,132
There we go.
500
00:20:21,176 --> 00:20:23,352
[speaks Chinese]
501
00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:37,497
Hey. Morning.
502
00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:38,585
Morning.
503
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,371
It's coffee.
504
00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:47,550
As it should be.
505
00:20:54,818 --> 00:20:57,386
[clears throat]
506
00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:08,267
[clears throat]
No.
507
00:21:12,575 --> 00:21:14,925
[sighs]
508
00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:18,320
[scoffs]
Did you read this thing about...
509
00:21:18,364 --> 00:21:20,017
[clears throat]
510
00:21:22,237 --> 00:21:23,891
Good morning, you two!
511
00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:25,284
[both clear throats]
512
00:21:26,807 --> 00:21:30,027
Huh. I knew
they'd find something in common.
513
00:21:38,949 --> 00:21:40,560
[chicken clucks]
514
00:21:40,603 --> 00:21:42,518
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
37146
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