All language subtitles for House - [5x18] - Here Kitty

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

You have a patient
waiting. See?

I'm waiting for a follow-up.

If you're talking
about Mr. Casdin,

he has a deceased
sticker on his file,

as do all the other
follow-ups you have
scheduled for today.

Whoops!

I had colds all winter.

I've been in this room
a while, but it's
spring now, right?

I feel run down,
like maybe something
big is coming on.

Run down?
Come on, give me
something. Sore throat?

No.
Runny nose?

No. I know it
sounds weird,
I'm a nurse,

but could you
run maybe a CBC
or a thyroid...

(GASPING)

Dr. Cuddy,
need a consult!

Until she
stops seizing,

may as well go back
to my office and get
my diagnosis on.

CUDDY: She's
urinating on herself.

She's having a seizure.
If she hadn't peed...

It's green.

Interesting.

Thirty-five-year-old woman.

Head of nursing
in an old-age home.

Neurological
symptoms and "P"?

(CHUCKLING)
Oh, green pee.
I get it. Nice.

THIRTEEN: Neuro is
also written in green.

Does that mean she
has green neurological
symptoms as well?

From now on, I'm
gonna use two colors.
Green indicates irony.

Pseudomonas infection.

She'd have
a fever. Toxins?

Why are we
taking this case?

Welcome, Your Lordship,
we were just preparing
your morning briefing.

Sorry I'm late,

and, yes, green pee
does meet the only
diagnostic requirement

you care about.
It's interesting.

But is it worth
us taking this case?

"Us" aren't taking anything.
I'm taking. You're accepting.

Okay, I accept. She has
adult-onset epilepsy,

and she really likes
those St. Patrick's Day beers.

Go check out the house
and the office for
toxins and infections.

Her neuro exam
was normal, no
subsequent seizures.

It's not life threatening.
It's not important.

Luckily, neither are you.

You okay?
Fine.

You and House
this morning?

The way you
were arguing?

(SIGHING) Airing
disagreements doesn't
qualify as arguing.

Come on, man,
I'm just trying to
help. We're friends.

There are 400
Japanese teenagers

you were playing
Halo with last night

you're better
friends with.

Your avatar should
ask their avatars
how they're doing.

I consider you
a good friend

even if we don't
hang that much
outside of work.

I wasn't arguing with him.

You kind of were.

Fine, I was.
And you know what?

I was right.

You got conned.
Methylthioninium chloride.

Notable side effect,
green urine.

She's a nurse,
she knows the dosage,

knows how to
fake a seizure.

She pees pea soup
and gets the warm attention
of doctors all week long.

She's a Munchausen,
and you're her mark.

So your insight
is based on

discovering an
anti-Alzheimer's drug
at an old-age home.

No good reason it'd be
sitting on her desk.

You ever tried to pee
on yourself in public?
It's not easy.

Sorry, I rushed
the Jewish frat,
we peed in private.

For good reason.
I can spot
a fake seizure,

which means
this was real,
which means

her problem is phenol.

Carbolic acid?

Yeah, maybe she
accidentally inhaled some

at a gout treatment
facility, circa 1890.

It's still in some
antiseptic throat sprays.

She's been chugging
it all winter
for her colds.

Phenol explains the
seizure and the urine.

She'd have to drink
five bottles a day.

Which is why I'm sure
you won't have trouble

discovering the evidence
of it when you
search her house. Bye.

And you can start her
on charcoal hemoperfusion
for the phenol poisoning.

Seriously?

Oh, you were lying
about the throat spray.

That does make more sense.

So why are you
wasting Taub's time?

Because I don't
want him to know that
I'm wasting my time

disproving his fake
seizure theory. Zip!

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

NEIL: Chris?

Chris Taub, right?

Neil Zane.

I was two years under you at
Collegiate High, remember?

Sure.

So you are some big
doctor here now?

I'm a doctor. You?

I was speaking
at an econ course
over at the university.

I tripped and banged my leg.

I have some time.
Come with me.

Hi. Tests back?

Head CT was negative.

What about a thyroid uptake
or abdominal ultrasound?

Sure. How about I flash
some lights in front
of your face first?

You want me to have
another seizure?

We're gonna have to
give up the room

unless we can
confirm a problem.

Okay.

(CONVULSING)

(SIGHING) Damn it!

Oh, God.
Please forgive me.
I'm so sorry.

What are you worried about?
You'll have maybe
a night in jail for fraud.

I have to go tell one of
my employees he was right.

I'm not a Munchausen.
I'm gonna die
unless you help me.

You'll have to come up
with something more original.

A cat predicted my death.

Cats make
terrible doctors.

Oh, no, wait,
that's women.
You're screwed.

How'd you slip?

I've had this
dizziness problem
for a while now.

You get checked
for labyrinthitis?

On antibiotics for
a week. No difference.

Lie down a sec.
Whoa, whoa, I'm dizzy.

(EXHALES)
That's normal.

So what are you teaching?

Entrepreneurship.

I'm a CEO.
OstTech Industries.
We make medical devices.

All right.
You can sit up.

So, did that tell you
anything? Did I...

Oh, my God.

You just cured me.

I figured you had
a tiny calcium deposit
in your inner ear.

I just shifted it around.

I've seen three
doctors for this.

I'm buying
you dinner.
Forget it.

Come on. I'm also
an investor in a club,
we'll make it a night out.

Well, I'm married, boring.

I know some
married people
who aren't boring.

A few years back,
I was one of them.

Good luck, Neil.

If you're gonna kill me
and rape me, please
do it in that order.

This is the cat. Debbie.
Have you heard of her?

Debbie? Sorry, but
without a last name...

She was on the news.
We found her as a kitten.

She lives in the nursing home.

She only sleeps
next to people when
they're about to die.

Ten patients
in the last year.

And then yesterday,
she did it to me while
I was sitting on my couch.

Please. The whole staff,
the doctors even,
we all know this is real.

Can you come back later?

I have some business
I'm conducting with
the Prince of Nigeria.

Just watch this video.
It'll prove I'm not lying.

Dr. House,
I am begging you.

(GASPING FOR BREATH)

Chest.

Quick, before she
goes without attention
for eight seconds.

House.

She's faking.
The cat told me.
Listen.

(GASPING)

Soft breath sounds.
Means it's bronchospasm.

You can't fake that.

MAN ON TV: Debbie the cat
spends most of her time
just prowling the halls,

the queen of
her own private world.
HOUSE: I gotta say,

I don't think the
changes they've made

to American Idol
really work for me.

When Debbie climbs
on a patient's bed
and goes to sleep,

we call the loved ones
and tell them to come in.

You wanna treat her?
She's a nut job.

Don't we all
have quirks?

Aren't those
eccentricities
what make us human?

It's like Debbie's
here on Earth to bring
people to the other side.

MAN: The doctors
that we spoke to
also agree that the cat...

Nut jobs get sick, too.

So you think this
cat story is nonsense,

and you admit
she faked her
earlier symptoms,

but you still think
she's actually sick now?

Well, anything would
sound ridiculous if you
said it in that voice.

Confirm she's faking
or I'm gonna have to
kick her out.

There's that voice again.

I'll give you 24 hours.

Consecutive?

What are you doing?

No, Mr. Bond,
I expect you to die.
Bronchospasm. Go.

Bronchitis.
No cough, no fever,

and Blofeld didn't
smoke a cigar.

He might have.
Dude had a lair,
means he was rich.

Rich people enjoy
a good stogie, sometimes
send them as gifts.

Hey, Taub,
did that sound like

I was awkwardly
trying to segue
into making a point?

Yes.

Emphysema.
FOREMAN: Lungs
were clean on the CT.

Dogs can be trained
to predict diabetic
comas, epileptic seizures,

they can smell cancer.
It is possible there's
something to this cat.

It's more possible
it was just a coincidence.

Ten million nursing homes,
hundred million pet cats,

one of them was bound
to pick a few winners.

THIRTEEN: Debbie
was able to predict
there was something wrong

with the patient
before you were.
Is that a coincidence, too?

Maybe the cat didn't
predict anything, it might
have caused the deaths.

We should've
listened to Ted Nugent.

Yeah. It could be
cat scratch fever,
or visceral larva migrans.

Maybe it didn't kill everyone
at the nursing home,

but it may be killing Morgan.

The worms hop from the cat
to the cat lady's lungs.
I could buy that.

Those cigars were for me.

HOUSE: Hey, that reminds me.

Why is some fancy
CEO sending you
a box of Cuban cigars?

Is it related to
your money worries?

What money worries?

Extrapolating from
the fact that he's been
skipping his morning muffin,

I'd say that he lost
almost all his money
in the market last year.

I'm on a diet.

I'm also extrapolating
from the online portfolio
you forgot to log off,

but it's mostly
the muffins.

Scope her for
worms in the lungs.

We could help out in there.

Yeah, it takes
at least four people

to look inside
a crazy woman's lungs
for imaginary worms.

So, you're in
a good mood again.

Do you need another
speech about what
a great friend I am?

I'm telling my wife
we don't need to downsize,

but maybe we do.

You really lost
all that money?

I don't care about the money,
I just feel bad for Rachel.

She married a guy
in one situation,
ended up with another.

That's hard on anyone.
Thanks,

makes me feel
much better, hearing
my wife's a gold digger.

No, I just
meant she married

this master-of-the-universe
successful surgeon,

and now he's basically
a flunky for this
mad scientist,

who saves lives,
so that's good.

There are no worms
in the lungs.

What else could
cause bronchospasm?

Severe acid reflux.

No esophagitis,
it's not reflux.

Why are you
pushing a crash cart?

Because patients
sometimes crash, and
they haven't yet invented

a crash tractor
for me to drive wildly
around the hallways.

Why are we in the
coma patients' room?

(MEOWS)

You actually think
the cat is going to
predict someone's death?

No. I know the cat
is not going to
predict anyone's death.

And then I will have
scientifically disproved...

You didn't keep
this patient
despite the cat,

you kept this patient
because of the cat.

You're scared there's
something to it.

If I could prove
the non-existence
of an omniscient God

who lovingly guides us
to the other side, I would.

Cat version
will have to do.

Are you scared?

Cats' brains are
always in alpha mode.

The few scientific
tests that have seemed to
confirm psychic phenomena,

that's where it takes place.

Please tell me that
you were kidding, so
I won't have to fire you.

I was kidding.

We still have
a human patient, right?

Airborne
allergens possible?
Skin test was negative.

FOREMAN: Lungs
may be more sensitive.

Or House
just screwed up.

If you misinterpreted
the breath sounds
as soft instead of loud,

it's laryngospasm
instead of bronchospasm.

Which she can
get from a simple
panic attack,

which she was having.

I also heard the lung
sounds, too, Taub.
You saying I screwed up?

"Screwed up" is maybe
too harsh, but yes.

THIRTEEN: Don't you
wanna check their charts?

Of course not,
this is a double-blind.

I don't want to even
subconsciously signal to
Teddy which one's the sickest.

Her name's Debbie.

Are those welts
on that guy's arm?

Were they here
when we got here?

He has a severe
cat allergy.

That never happened.

Look at Debbie.

Good news, Mr. Limpert.

When you don't
die tonight,

you will finally
have done something
good for the world,

as opposed to your
life as a fireman.

Foreman's airborne
allergen theory
makes the most sense.

Do a methacholine
challenge on Catgirl
to check it out.

I told you to
get rid of Death Cat.

You see a cat?
I see a litter box.

This is a disability,
Dr. Cuddy.

I can't make it
to the men's room...
You pee on the mice, too?

Well, now, you see,
the mice actually prove
that I don't have a cat.

Are these...

Are these the
genetically modified
lab mice from oncology?

Genetically modified
for tastiness.

Get rid of the cat,
and get rid
of your patient.

My team is doing
a methacholine challenge.

Your team just completed
a methacholine challenge,

which came up negative.

Who told you about
the test? Taub?

I'll never say. But yes.

Her airway's clamped
down. I heard it.

We kick her
onto the streets,
it could happen again.

Wish there was
a "lawsuit cat,"
it could warn you.

I'm sorry, but if you
won't escort her out,

I'll have to get
security to do it.

You're joining me
for a goodbye smoke.

I don't smoke.

Fine, if you don't want
the seventh graders
to think you're cool.

I went through your purse.

Horoscopes,
good-luck charms.

You went to
a good college,
good nursing school,

so you weren't always
a superstitious idiot.

I'm not a superstitious...

How about four years,
that sound right?

That's when you
switched from the
family insurance plan

to the one you're on now.

I was married,
I got divorced.

Two years before that,
you got chickenpox shots,

which you only
get in adulthood
when you have a kid.

Or I should say
when you had a kid

because no kid
has come to visit you.

Which all makes me think
something bad happened.

It was my stepson, Timothy.

(COUGHS)

What happened?

He was in school.

He was having
his morning snack,
and he choked.

And the teachers saw it,
and they did everything
that they were supposed to.

He shouldn't have died.

You wanna
make it make sense.

(CRYING) What's
wrong with that?

It's meaningless
is what's wrong.

What's wrong is that
it doesn't do a thing
to bring your kid back,

or put you and
your ex together again.

(COUGHING)

Rash on your neck.

Probably not
enough for Cuddy.

(COUGHING)

Can't breathe.

Hey, Doc.

(GASPING FOR BREATH)

Breath sound soft
to you, Doc?

Hooray, you're
officially sick.

Churg-Strauss fits best.
Here's the plan.

Taub, change the litter box.

This is pathetic.

You're still punishing me
for calling you out
on the green urine lady?

Nope, this is for
ratting me out to Cuddy.

I'm not asking you
to apologize, just scoop
some poop out of a box.

Just clean it.

Let House do it.
FOREMAN: (SCOFFING)
Yeah, that'll happen.

He won't just continue
to let our room
smell like cat pee.

I'll clean it next time.

I'm out of here.

Now that you've delivered
that important lesson,
I'm gonna go test the patient.

(CAT PURRING)
Whoa!

What, you think
your bag's
going to die now?

Now you're punishing me
because you think
I'm superstitious?

What do you care?
It's not so much
about me caring, per se,

it's more about me
wondering why you're
such a credulous idiot.

Thirteen, start the
patient on steroids
for the Churg-Strauss.

Unless we have something
we need to argue about?

This is good stuff.

The best.

It's made from
the distilled sweat of

recently-laid-off
hedge fund managers.

Aren't you happy
you came out tonight?

Yeah. I wasn't actually
going to, but not the
greatest day at work.

I used to have
an office like this.

Used to?

When I was
a plastic surgeon.

But one day, I took
stock of my life and...

(SIGHING)
Oh, screw it.

I had an affair
with the daughter
of one of my partners.

They signed
a non-disclosure,
I signed a non-compete.

And the funny thing is
I wound up telling
my wife anyway.

You like your job?

Same as you,
same as everyone,
it has its ups and downs.

You're lying
to make me feel better.

Yeah. It's the best.
I'm in charge, you know.
I'm a kid with toys.

Speaking of which,
what do you think
of the prototype?

It's amazing.

You gotta make it
a half-inch smaller, though.

You serious?
I got small hands,

6.5 gloves,
like women surgeons,

which are your
fastest-growing market.

Me and the girls
would have to use
two hands to hit the switch.

Why do I bother paying
the idiots that work for me?

Put down that crap
you're drinking,

because I am breaking out
the really good stuff.

What's wrong?

I went to the bathroom.
My urine...

Green again?
It's brown.

I didn't do
anything. Honest.

HOUSE: (SINGING)
I'm just a girl
who can't say no

It is possible
she's still faking.

She didn't fake
the bronchospasm.

You think she's
faking some stuff,
but not other stuff?

Maybe she's Unchausen?

I'm just saying
the brown urine
doesn't make sense.

What?
Nothing.

THIRTEEN: We've
ruled out every possible
cause for brown urine.

No blood in the urine,
liver and kidneys fine.

Brown could be
fecal. Fistula.

We checked.

How do we know
the urine is still brown?

Had to be. Once
you've gone brown...

If we've ruled out
everything that can
make the urine brown,

what if it just
looked brown.

If the green dye never
left her system, what
plus green makes brown?

Purple.

Strep bovis infection
from colon cancer.

Paraneoplastic syndrome
would explain
the bronchospasm.

THIRTEEN: We scoped
her when we checked
for the fistula,

there's no tumor.

Oh, no.

I wasn't scared
by the umbrella, either.

What? Not everything's
about you, Kutner.

I realize it's stupid.
I just don't know everything,

I don't want to invite...
Great.

I thought your
superstitiousness

had to do with your
folks being killed,

but "you're stupid"
works just as well.

Why is there
a ladder here?

Whoops. Forgot that one.

Scopes don't work
as well as pillcams.
Give her one, find the tumor.

Come with me, Tiny Taub.

Sorry, I was late again.
I've got a long commute
from the poorhouse.

Knew it when I hired you.

You'd eventually
miss the money,

being the big shot
like your new CEO friend,

if that nightclub
stamp on your hand
is any indication.

Don't worry,
I'm not quitting.
I know.

A guy who signs a non-compete
instead of just telling
his wife that he cheated

doesn't have
the guts to quit.

Bad example.
I did tell her.

From guilt,
not from courage.

And bravely running
to Cuddy behind my back,

and arriving heroically
late every day.

Cowards make
lousy employees.

Well, maybe you're a coward,
maybe you're quitting.

Either way, I'm screwed.

You'll note how Faster,
Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

Has snuggled up
by coma guy over there.

More importantly,
she did yesterday as well.

And he's still breathing.

We done?

Thank you for
showing me this.

But maybe she's
just confused in
this new environment.

In 1844, a preacher
in upstate New York

added up some dates
in the Bible and
predicted Jesus' return.

His followers gave away
all their possessions

and showed up in a field.

Guess who didn't show.

So the preacher said
that he miscalculated,

and they went right
back the next month,

but with more followers.

Every time he was
irrefutably proved wrong,

it redoubled
everyone's belief.

I know I sound
just like them.

But I also know
you're wrong.

Something terrible
is gonna happen to me.

You trying to prove
to her she's not dying?

That would be dumb,
as she might be dying.

This woman lost her kid.

Why are you attacking
beliefs that give her
a little bit of comfort?

I don't care
if her superstitions
make her feel better.

I just want her
to think more clearly.
Oh.

Maybe that can make her
as happy as you are.

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

Where are we going?

Experimenting.

(CAT PURRING)

Stop it, Dr. Wilson.
It's just not cute anymore.

You already
experimented
on the coma guy.

Haven't you
proved your point?
Not to the patient,

and not to the
millions of idiots

who drooled over
that news item
about the magic cat.

Why are you so
obsessed with this?

Can't you just call
her an idiot and leave
everyone alone?

Hey, look, kids,
therapy cat.

You're a liar.
Therapy animals
are dogs, not cats.

Aren't you feisty?
This one's special.

If she likes you,
interesting stuff happens.

No. Okay. Kids,
playtime's over.

(SIGHS)

You know what,
this is a good thing.

Because either you're
starting to doubt yourself,

which is healthy, or...

I don't believe
in the legend of
Goodbye Kitty.

Or you're starting
to give a crap what
other people think,

(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Which is just another
way of saying

you give a crap
about other people.

I'd love to hear
more of your theory,
but I don't give a crap.

Also, the pillcam's back.

Polypoid. Raised edges.

Raised edges are
actually necessary,

since that's the opening
to the appendix.

How many times are we
gonna watch this?
There's no tumor.

Oh, my God,

the Death Cat is
attacking your legs,
you're gonna die.

Maybe it has something
to do with that little red dot
dancing around down there.

Oh, my God,
the death laser

is attacking your legs,
you're gonna die.

We're wasting time
looking for cancer.

She's still walking around,
she's still pretty healthy,

maybe it's something minor.

Maybe we're
not wasting time.

We wouldn't have
seen a flat lesion.

Skin cancer could
have metastasized
to the intestines.

Cool.

Check for melanomas.

Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty. Come here.

(MEOWS)
Here, kitty.

(PHONE RINGING)

(SIGHING)

What?
KUTNER: It's not cancer.

We found spider veins
on her back.

They weren't there
when she came in.

Spider veins means Cushing's.

Could cause an abdominal
disturbance, brown urine.

But the bronchospasm?

(SIGHS)

Cushing's myopathy.

It's uncommon, but...

Wait a second.

You didn't wake me up
to tell me a symptom
that's not killing her.

What else is going on?
I think she's dying.

I just told you,
it's Cushing's.
We treat...

I don't mean because
of the spider veins.
Mr. Limpert died.

If that's my
high school gym
teacher...

It's your coma patient.

He was stable for
a year-and-a-half,
and he just died.

The cat was right, House.

Here, puss, puss,
puss, puss, puss.

Say "puss" one more time.
It's the sixth "puss"
that really does it.

You're right. Sulking
will solve everything.

That cat sat on my lap,
and that cat knows something.

You believe it now?
Yesterday,
it was all a coincidence.

Yesterday, it was,
till I unintentionally
proved it wasn't.

Patient must have Cushing's.
We have to figure out
whether it's based in...

A cat's nose is powerful,
could smell liver
or kidney failure.

Exactly. Except that
if you'd glanced at
the nursing home files

I had faxed over
this morning,

you'd know that most
of the patients' livers
and kidneys were fine.

What else?
The MRIs aren't telling us

if the Cushing's is in
her adrenals or her brain.

So check her ACTH.

The cat's vision
is at the blue end
of the spectrum.

ACTH is 11.7.
It's too close to tell.

And we can't treat
the wrong organ,

'cause that won't
solve anything.

She could have
a cortisol storm,
could kill her.

Well, maybe,
as the senior fellow,
you could have made sure

that my doors were closed
so that I could be
concentrating on the cat

instead of looking
for the cat.

(GASPING FOR BREATH)

You all right?

Your nose.

(GRUNTS)

What'd he say?

Sounds like he said,
"Do you like cranberry juice?"

Crap.

Cheaper than fake blood.
And more cran-tastic.

Don't ever leave
my door open
like that again.

You're playing pranks
and this woman could be dying.

So have Chase do
a venous sampling
in her brain.

If he finds something,
it's there,

if he finds nothing,
it's the adrenals.

I'm not who
I used to be.

I'm scared.
It's not a way to live.

I wanna come
work for you.

(SIGHS)

Jeez, Chris,
you didn't think...

I didn't mean
to imply that I could
hire you right now.

You said you needed
guys like me.

I know, but you
don't have an MBA,

and I just hired
a Chief Medical Officer.

Then let me invest
in that laser
scalpel start-up.

I got money saved,
not a ton, but...

We put in a two-million-dollar
minimum for the first
round of financing.

Look,

I guess I could take you on,
on a smaller number,

but you have to understand

it wouldn't be
some quick payoff.

Yeah, I know.
I know it's not gonna
change my life overnight.

I just need to
start changing it.

Okay, then.
Let's start.

What exactly are you
hoping to find inside
your dead coma guy?

Catnip, chew toy...
I don't know,
that's why I'm looking.

Your patient had
a cardiac arrest during
the venous sampling.

We got her back, but
her heart's still tenuous.

That tell us anything?
She's weak,
possibly dying.

So nothing.

What about the ACTH?
Slightly elevated.

It confirms the Cushing's
is in the brain. Go.

Are you sure
that it's Cushing's?

You'd expect
central body obesity,
she's in good shape.

If it had a normal
presentation, there
wouldn't be a cat involved.

So it's the brain,

means the next question
is whether to remove her
pituitary right now...

That's not a question
for me, that's a question
for the patient.

Now present both sides,
let her decide.

All right.

I've got to stop
telling you my theories.

You always just
try to prove me wrong.

You mean the theory
about Cuddy's ass getting
bigger at the full moon?

I confirmed that one,
photo's on my blog.

Normally, you'd be up
in the patient room,

hectoring her
on what to do,

instead you're up
to your elbows in some
irrelevant dead guy,

who may or may not be
connected to a magic cat,

because you want
to prove to me
that you don't care.

Case is over. I'm exploring
a scientific mystery.

I put up with
your obsessions,

I even encourage them,
for one reason,

they save lives.
I don't know
what you're doing now.

CHASE: Cushing's means
your body is overproducing
a hormone called cortisol.

The recommended
course of action is to
suppress it with drugs.

And that will cure it?

Just treat it.
It could come back.

The only permanent
solution is

to cut into your
brain and remove
your pituitary gland,

but surgery's dangerous.

Your heart stopped
on the table once already.

I want the surgery.

This thing is gonna kill me
if I don't kill it first.

Because of the cat?

Do you wanna tell me
what an idiot I'm being?

No.

I really believe that
there are things that
science can't understand,

that there is a role
for faith and prayer, but
it's in the waiting room,

not the OR.

(SIGHS)

There's a reason I got sick.

There's a reason
for all the bad things
that have happened to me.

I don't know what that
reason is, but I know
that if there isn't one,

if there's no greater
purpose in the world,

then it's not a world
I wanna live in.

I'll schedule
an operating room.

You're early.

I'm not staying long.
I'm quitting.

You got a new job?
No.

Well, then
you're not quitting.

I'll see you
back here tomorrow.

You're not accepting
my resignation?

Easier this way.

It avoids the whole thing
where you panic,
run back and grovel,

and I punish you,
and then take you back.

Bye.

Bring donuts.
Everyone loves
those bear claws.

Here, puss, puss,
puss, puss, puss. Puss?

(PURRS)

Mr. Taub?

I've been
waiting 15 minutes.
Where's Neil?

Neil doesn't
work here anymore.

But he's the CEO.

I'm sorry. I wish
I could help you. Sorry.

This is crazy.
I'm investing
with his company.

He doesn't have a company.

He worked here, but he
was a receptionist, a temp.

Where is he?
He's in custody.

I really am not
supposed to say
anything else.

I went to
high school with him.

That's what everyone
else thought, too.

I'm guessing you also
cured his ear problem?

Did you give him
the money yet?

No.

I was right,

and more satisfyingly,
you were wrong.

It was coincidence.

That cat was not
predicting deaths,

it was just trying
to keep warm.

Yes, dead people are
renowned for their warm glow.

They are
if they're feverish,

like three of
the patients were.

Or if they are wasting away,
like the other eight.

Wasting doesn't...
It does,

if it means someone sticks
a heating blanket on you.

(SIGHS)

Congrats. Because of your
crazy obsession with this cat

you've solved
a completely trivial mystery.

Completely trivial?

My God, it's clearly
only partially trivial.

Debbie climbed
on Morgan, too,

which means
she was overheated.

So what causes
flushing, mimics
every Cushing's symptom

except central
body obesity?

Cancer.

A corticotropin-producing
carcinoid tumor
of the intestine.

But your pillcam
didn't find anything.

Means it must be somewhere
the pillcam couldn't go.

The appendix.

Congratulations.
You probably saved her life.

You definitely
saved her needless surgery.

Yes, I did.

What's the OR
extension number?

Just curious.

Thank you.

I wouldn't come here
for thanks, that
would be ungracious.

It's more about gloating.

You were about to cut out
a piece of your brain

just to chase some
crazy superstition.

But I didn't.

You didn't didn't
do anything.
I stopped it.

And what made you do that?

Science. Logic. Reason.
Pick any three.

A cat chooses
that exact moment
to sit on your computer.

Maybe that's science
and logic and reason,

or maybe it's
something else.

You're an idiot.

I looked up the preacher
from New York State.

His followers
never faded out.

They became the
Seventh-Day Adventists.

A major religion.
That man changed
the course of history.

Because his followers
were as deluded as he was.

Maybe he just gave them
something to live for.

Feel better.

(SIGHS)

Kutner!

Cat pee on my chair?

Blood on my face?
Fake blood.

You pay for
the dry-cleaning.

Why are you
still alive?

I'm not sure.

I guess he was impressed
you stood up to him.

And got a cat
to pee on his chair.

Yeah. A cat.

See you tomorrow.
Yeah.

(PURRS)