Original subtitles

- In grade 2, we had a substitute teacher that said

the Sun revolved around the Earth.

We all know it's the other way around, right?

Well, I didn't want the rest of my class

to commit this to memory, so I corrected him.

And instead of applauding my moxie, the teacher sent me

to the office for disrupting the class.

Was I wrong to speak the truth?

Guess I'm still trying to figure out when you should

stand up for your beliefs or, in this case,

well-proven scientific fact,

and when you should just stay in your seat.

♪♪♪♪♪♪ - Hi! Only two weeks

until the bicentennial, and town council has been

hard at work crafting the perfect way to celebrate

the occasion. And after much discussion,

we came up with...

Follow.

Ta-daaah! Yeah?

We are looking for volunteers to help paint a mural

that reflects the unity

of our community. - Wow!

Town council sure did draw a blank.

(Holly laughing)

- Should we stand somewhere else?

- Over there looks good. - Come on, guys, that was funny!

- Was it? - Amy would have liked it.

- Then go share it. She's right there.

- (woman): And it may be a design...

- I can't. - They're in a fight.

- Well, you better fix things fast. You don't want to get replaced.

- That would never happen. Amy and I are soulmates,

meant to be together.

Like PB and jam.

- I used to love PB and J; now, I prefer honey.

- What are you trying to say?

- Sometimes, tastes change.

- (woman): Bring everything you have to the occasion...

(indistinct conversation) (chuckles)

♪♪♪♪♪♪

- ♪♪♪♪ You and me run to a different beat ♪♪

♪♪ We are brave, lead the way, lead the way ♪♪

♪♪ Be the you inside and watch the world take flight ♪♪

♪♪ We are brave, lead the way, lead the way ♪♪

♪♪ Be the change ♪♪

♪♪ Be the change ♪♪

♪♪ Gotta be the change ♪♪♪♪

- Adversarial. - Hostile.

- (Robbie): Yes! - I can't believe it! Amy took

Piper to our special place. - Someone's covetous.

- Jealous. - Yes!

- Am not!

I just don't get what Piper has that I don't.

- Easy. She's droll. - Fun.

No. Funny. - I'm both of those things!

- And blithe. - Carefree.

- Yes! That's it, baby! - I'm that too!

I could be if I tried.

It's just hard when you feel so...

- Despondent? - Sad!

- Yes! - You're gonna ace the SATs.

- If you want her back, you just need to show her all the jollity

she's missing without you.

- You mean, make her covetous?

- Exactly. - And then she'll just

come back? Have you tested this theory before?

- Oh yes. (Holly chuckling)

- I'm lost. - I know, babe.

And if you don't mind, I'd like to keep it that way.

(chuckling) ♪♪♪♪♪♪

- So where is this super fun thing you wanted me to do today?

- I volunteered us to help paint the mural.

- Yeah, I'm not a joiner.

- Real cool, Jughead.

Come on! We're gonna have so much fun together!

In fact, I think today is a day we are going to remember

forever, so we should probably take a picture

just to capture how much fun we are already having. OK.

(photo click)

Come on, you gotta work with me here!

- I know you're using me to make Amy jealous.

- No! I would never stoop

to such stupendously low levels.

Yeah, OK, fine. Yes, I am. Are you mad?

- Yeah, but only because you didn't tell me first.

- Does that mean you'll help?

- Yeah.

Look, your plan is about to get way more complicated.

We can't pretend to have the best time ever;

we have to do it IRL.

- Hey. - Hi.

- Ohhh...

- Attention! Attention, please.

Thank you all so much

for volunteering your time today.

Now is the moment you've all been waiting for:

the grand reveal of our mural design

created by our favourite big-city transplant.

- Namaste. - OK. Without further ado...

- Woo! - (girl): Oh...

- Take it away, Russell. - OK.

So to start, we'll have to slap on a few base layers of paint.

Then we'll project my design onto the wall,

and each of you will be assigned a little section to paint.

Any questions?

- Why are we painting a stupid pickle?

- Great question. So who's ready to paint?

- I just don't see why this town is so obsessed with pickles. Everywhere you go, it's

pickle this and pickle that. What's so great about pickles?

- They're kind of important to this town's economy.

- Of course, you'd think that. - I just don't think that,

it's a fact! - OK. Heated debate, I like it.

Let's get started! - I think pickles are boring.

- Well, so is scurvy, which pickles cure by the way. NPR.

- Look. If you don't want to do the mural, don't do the mural.

- I wanna do the mural. I think we need a different design. - Like what?

- What about...

a unicorn? (Amy chuckling)

- What does a unicorn have to do with this town?

- They're cool, unique,

one of a kind, special.

- Sure, I guess, but-- - Aren't we all those things too?

- You can't, just out of nowhere, replace the pickle,

which we've relied on our entire lives. - Everyone who'd rather paint

a unicorn instead of a pickle, raise your hand.

♪♪♪♪♪♪

- ♪♪ Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ♪♪

♪♪ Ooh oooooh ♪♪

- Ooh, that's a cute unicorn design!

- I like the first one better. - We need to stop this insanity.

Sure, unicorns are magical

and mystical and totally in the zeitgeist right now,

but what do they have to do with Collinsville?

What should I do? Rat them out?

No, I've learned that nobody likes a tattletale.

Protest? Can you assure me that innocent people

won't lose their jobs? And don't you dare say

just to paint another mural and hope other people like it better.

That's what got me in hot water with Amy in the first place.

(Holly sighing)

- Oh, I'm sorry. Is it my turn to talk now?

(Holly scoffing)

I just think you should let it go.

- Good one, Elsa.

Seriously?! - So you paint a unicorn

instead of a pickle; what's the worst that can happen?

- Your mom freaks out.

- And then everyone will realize it was Piper's fault

and they should have listened to you in the first place.

Hey, you wanna show Amy you can have fun without her?

Let's have fun! It's a win-win, and you don't even have

to lift a finger. - Well...

I may have to lift one finger.

♪♪♪♪♪♪

(laughing)

- You've made a grave mistake, Ms. Hobby.

- No! Haha!

- SATs are next week. - Mm-hmm.

- Why aren't you crammin'? - Because I'm a feminist, Dad.

- You're gonna have to break that one down for me, son.

- OK, you've read the headlines, right?

Getting into a good college is more competitive than ever.

- Yeah, that's what they say.

- So, instead of forcing you to remortgage the farm

so I can go to some third-rate community college

that won't guarantee me a job when I graduate,

I am going to say no.

- To college? - I am just looking out for you.

- So what does this have to do with feminism?

- Oh, yeah, right. OK,

so Lyla is a straight-A student and will ace her SATs,

so I'm just gonna follow her around wherever she goes

and when she graduates, let her support me.

You know, like Mom supports you.

- Your mom and I are a team.

- Oh yeah, don't worry. That's what Lyla and I will say too.

- So just to be clear,

your future plans are

to mooch off your girlfriend?

Don't you think that's a little bit risky?

- Lyla's smart, sweet,

easy on the eyes. I can't do much better.

- Oh. Could she? (Robbie chuckling)

It sounds like you got a bulletproof plan there.

- Pretty great, huh? Thank you, Gloria Steinem.

- Ah, well, if you're certain

that this is the best plan...

...better lock it down.

- Great-grandma's engagement ring?

You want me to propose to Lyla?

- Oh, let's just consider it

an investment in the future.

♪♪♪♪♪♪

- Wow! Great work, kids! Very enchanting, yes!

- (woman): What on earth is going on here?!

- Oh, the people spoke, I had to listen.

- Who is responsible for this?

- I am. I think pickles are stupid.

- Stupid?!

- We have to do something about this.

- (Piper): Yeah, stupid.

(Holly laughing forcefully)

- You find this funny, Ms. Hobby?

- Hilarious! In fact, I don't know how Piper's

keeping a straight face. This was all just a big prank.

- No, it wasn't! - You're right. It was

more than a prank. It was a way for us to practice

our skills before beginning our work on our...

pièce de résistance. Right, Tyler? - Yeah, we had

to start a layer before we started painting

the mural anyhow, so why not get some practice in?

- Yes, that is accurate. (clearing his throat)

- Well...

I always say, "Practice makes perfect,"

so paint me a pickle.

- (Holly): Yes, Ma'am! - OK, everyone,

let's get to work. We got a lot of painting to do.

Great save, H.H. That woman is... terrifying.

- You're welcome by the way. - For what?!

- Look, I'm sorry your mom lost her job,

but you can't keep blaming me.

I don't work at the company. - Holly! Leave her alone.

- You had just as much to do with the protest as I did,

but she's not blaming you. The unicorn was a stupid idea

guaranteed to get us in trouble, which it did.

And I saved the day, and you can't even say thank you.

- Thank you, Holly, for once again reminding us

how much better you are than the rest of us.

(Holly gasping)

- You're OK with this?!

- Let's just get this mural done so we can all go home.

- Whatever!

- Sure! Just walk away! Guess that's kind of your MO.

- You're right, I should finish what I started.

- AH! (kids laughing)

- AH! - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Girls! Girls!

♪♪♪♪♪♪ PAINT FIGHT!

(screaming and laughing)

- Oh! Holly! - Amy!

- Oh no! - What is--

Pfff!

- Wham! And then I slid right into home.

- Aaah, that's great, honey!

I really wish I could have been there to cheer you on.

- It's OK, Levi hollered loud enough for the both of you.

- Must be nice to have such supportive friends.

- Has something happened today, Holly-kins,

that involved some paint? Hmm?

- Can I be excused? I don't... feel like dessert.

- Yeah. Sure thing.

- Hmm, before you go, I have something to say.

I know my decision making recently has been questionable.

- Mm-hmm.

- Thanks to the talk Dad and I had this morning,

I think I'm finally on the right track now.

These last few weeks have been really hard. I never would have gotten through them without

the love of my family. - Awww! We love you too, Robbie.

- And the support of my girlfriend.

- OK, great speech, Robbie. Who wants cake?

- Wait, Dad, there's more.

Lyla, you're the best girl a guy could have.

Will you marry me? - Uh, no, no.

I mean, you're way too young.

- Your mom is right. We're young which means

we are gonna look so hot in our wedding pictures!

Aaah! (Lyla laughing)

Yes, Robbie! Yes! A thousand times, yes!

- I get his room. - This is the happiest day of my life. Thank you so much, Dad.

- Thank you, Dad? - Yeah! He was the one that

suggested I lock Lyla down ASAP. - Oh!

- (Lyla): That is so sweet! - Uh, yeah.

- Thanks, Dad. Mind if I call you "Dad"?

Come on, Robbie. Let's go call my parents.

- Um, I think that we should...

- Mom's on a warpath.

I wonder who's going down first: Dad or Robbie.

Wanna talk?

- About how my best friend betrayed me?

How she thinks that everything I do is wrong?

No. I don't want to talk about it.

Talking hasn't solved anything. - Hey!

Captain Joshua Von Winklesnots is mine!

♪♪♪♪♪♪

- There's only one last thing to do.

Your dad said I'd find you here.

I've been trying to change

who I am for the past two months,

so that you still wanted to be friends with me.

- Holly-- - I know. Just let me get through this.

I thought we were soulmates,

friends forever,

but maybe there's no such thing.

This is all the stuff from you that I've kept over the years.

I heard what you said to Piper on my birthday -

how you think I'm a jerk, how you're not even sure

why you're still friends with me.

So I am going to stop

forcing something that obviously isn't working.

♪♪♪♪♪♪

- ♪♪ Ooooh oooooh ♪♪

♪♪ Oooooh ♪♪ - Maybe there's someone

you'd rather give it to.

- ♪♪ Oooooh ♪♪

♪♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-oooooh ♪♪

- (girl): Alright.

- OK, OK. Who painted this pistachio green?

The colour chart clearly calls for moss green!

Come on, people! Moss green!

- OK. Alright. OK.

Tap the brakes. You OK, champ?

- I just need this mural to be perfect.

And now we're down to two volunteers

and the clock is ticking and--

- OK then...

You heard the girl, let's make it mossy!

Don't worry about it. We'll paint a mural

that will make this town proud.

Or just hungry for pickles.

♪♪♪♪♪♪

What's wrong now?

- Piper was right.

- Hey, Robbie!

Wow!

Um, we... we need to talk about the wedding.

- Oh, great! Lyla has been looking for tuxes already.

Do you think I could pull this off?

- Look, you're... you're too young

to be making these choices.

- I've been picking my clothes for years.

You and Dad got married right after high school.

- I know, and we were way too young.

Look, if you don't want to go to college,

that is fine, but you need life experience.

I just... I don't want you having any regrets.

- Do you have regrets?

- Who doesn't?

- Me. I don't.

- Hey. Look, my point is, Robbie,

is that if you're gonna be making these huge

life-altering decisions, you have to be sure.

- Thank, Mom, but I think I'm just gonna trust Lyla on this one.

- And Lyla's parents, they would never support this insanity.

- Uh... Oh, actually, Mrs. Anderson said that we could have the wedding

in their backyard. - Really?

- Mm-hmm.

- You know, Mrs. Anderson, she would never

let Lyla get married anywhere except at their church.

- So, uh, what was that about regrets?

- No, not now, 'cause, honey,

we have a wedding to plan.

- Whatever you're pushing, I'm not interested.

- Look, you were right. The pickle was a stupid idea

and probably really upsetting for someone who's had

their whole life turned upside down by a pickle company.

But you have to admit, the unicorn was an equally bad idea.

- Thanks for the house call. - But even though

your execution was bad,

your motivation was great.

(door creaking)

This town is so much more than pickles.

We're 1200 individuals strong, each unique in our own way.

The mural should represent that.

- So what? We make 1200 different murals?

- Now, that is a great idea.

(Lyla laughing)

- Hey, guys! Sorry to interrupt,

but your father and I have been talking,

and we both agree that I have not been supportive enough

of your decision to get married.

- That's OK, Mom, I know it was a big surprise. - Which is why I wanna

throw you an engagement party. - Oh! You... you...

you don't have to do that. - No, no. See, we want to do it.

In fact, I made some invites. Lyla, what do you think?

- I don't know.

Robbie... what do you think?

- They're... they're great.

- Oh! Perfect, great! I will e-mail them out now.

Lyla, what's your mom's address again?

- It is...

Um... (Robbie talking indistinctly)

We're not getting engaged, Mrs. Hobbie. This was just a dumb hoax 'cause he's so sick

of your scare tactics to get him to study.

I'm sorry, Robbie. But if my mom saw that invite,

she'd kill me. No offence to your design skills, Mrs. Hobbie.

- None taken. - Lyla, babe? What are you doing?

- OK, this is between you and your parents.

- I'll see myself to my room. - Sit!

Talk! How is all of this

better than studying for your SATs?

- What's the point? I'm just gonna bomb them anyway.

- Robbie...

you are smart and you are talented,

and I have no doubt that you have

a bright future ahead of you.

But you need to put the work in. OK? You know,

if you put half the effort into studying

as you did in spinning those webs of lies,

you would do great.

Here. Come here, you.

Alright. Now get upstairs and hit the books. (Robbie sighing)

- A barn quilt? - Like this,

but ours will have 1200 tiles,

one for everyone in the community. - Oh, that would be big.

- Very big. World's record big. - You've confirmed this?

- Yes, Ma'am. And we even filled out the paperwork just in case you say yes.

- Largest barn quilt,

perfect backdrop for the bicentennial.

I like this. I like this a lot.

(Holly laughing) But I am a busy woman

and the bicentennial is fast approaching.

Who will take the lead? - We will!

Holly and I! - Really?

- Makes sense. - That sounds great,

in theory. We've got some trust issues.

- I'll help them, Mom. - Like I said, trust issues.

- And I'll supervise. (indistinct country song)

- OK! OK then! Project approved.

- Haha!

Hey, Piper.

I'm sorry I torpedoed your birthday.

- Same. We should schedule

a time to talk about this. - What about now?

- I'm meeting Amy in a few minutes.

- Right.

OK. Uh, just text me.

♪♪♪♪♪♪

(door chime)

(door closing)

(indistinct conversations)

- Shouldn't we be celebrating?

My mom loved your idea,

and she rarely loves ideas that aren't her own.

- I broke up with Amy last night.

And... I know it's for the best,

and that we'll be

happier in the long run.

She didn't even put up a fight.

And now I am destined to be alone forever.

- Well, you have me. - You're a boy.

No offence,

you only hang out with me because you have no one else.

- Hey! I think me and Russell are getting close,

but that might just be the paint fumes.

Point is...

I don't hang out with you because I have no one else;

I hang out with you because I want to.

- And why is that?

- Because you're amazing! ♪♪♪♪♪♪

- OK, nice talk, gotta go.

So, um...

not sure what we were talking about.

Kind of lost my train of thought.

So just be kind, kids, and good night!

(chuckling)

♪♪♪♪♪♪

Closed Captioning by SETTE inc