Original subtitles

- Two peas in a pod. Cut from the same cloth.

Birds of a feather. I could go on.

All I mean to say is, what makes your best friend your best friend

is all the things you do together, right?

But if your BFF gets a new thing that isn't your thing,

are you still two peas in a pod?

Or two unrelated vegetables in an unappetizing salad?

- Thank you all so much for coming out

on this glorious day.

- If aliens arrive in Collinsville, they're going to find a town

more obsessed with giant produce than renewable energy.

- Yeah, that would be a real pickle, wouldn't it?

- I hope you're all excited

about our annual pickle festival, where Oscar the Cucumber will be measured

and Collinsville will finally make it into the record books.

- Mayor Flaherty sure is relishing this opportunity. - Please stop.

- But Amy, this is a really big dill! (laughing)

- Holly! Holly!

We're famous!

"The Calico's new Open Mic Night breathes life into café."

- And raises enough money to keep it open. - For now.

- Grandma, this is great! - What would you say

to you and I singing a duet at the next Open Mic?

- I've actually been writing something that could work.

- Perfect! Come by after school

and we can start practicing? - Wild horses couldn't drag me away.

- Oh, shoot! I gotta go get the cookies out of the oven.

See you later, sweetheart!

- Hey, I'm gonna show you my new song

and I need you to be honest with me. I'm stuck on the pre-chorus.

- I actually can't hang tonight.

I have cheerleading tryouts.

- Ha, ha, ha!

Wait... actually?

But you're not a cheerleader. Cheerleaders are vapid

and pretty and popular and-- - So I'm not pretty or popular?

- Obviously I think you're a raven-haired goddess.

- Anyway, I've already been to the first round

and it wasn't like that. - You already tried out?!

Why didn't you tell me?

- The reaction you're currently having might have something to do with it.

Anyway, Piper and I liked it.

- You tried out with Piper?

(sighing) I mean,

yeah, that's great. - I'll still be able to help you with the Open Mic.

I'll set up the evite at home tonight, OK?

(cell phone buzzing) Oh!

Gotta run! Piper and I have to practice.

- Let it serve as a reminder: nothing is forever.

Let one thing be a constant in our lives now and forever:

COLLINSVILLE! (cheers and applause) Thank you. Thank you so much.

- ♪♪♪♪ You and me run to a different beat ♪♪

♪♪ We are brave, lead the way, lead the way ♪♪

♪♪ Be the you inside and watch the world take flight ♪♪

♪♪ We are brave, lead the way, lead the way ♪♪

♪♪ Be the change ♪♪

♪♪ Be the change ♪♪

♪♪ Gotta be the change ♪♪♪♪

- What's a better rhyme for "tonight"?

"Burning bright" or "morning light?"

- How about "flea bite?" (chuckling)

- Guys, settle. Lyla's gonna be here soon.

- (both): Ooh, Lyla!

- Thanks for waiting, babe. - Yah, thanks for waiting, babe.

- Mmm. Butter tarts.

- These are for the cheer squad bake sale. Buy one after school.

- I can't. I told Chase and Warren I'd hang out with them.

- So you can go take your "missionimpossibull selfies?"

- The dumb viral challenge where people take pics with the bull?

- I think you mean the hilarious viral challenge!

- You're gonna do it 'cause your idiot teammates are doing it?

- You're totally ride-or-die with your cheerleading friends.

- That's loyalty to my girls. You're following the herd.

- Potato potah-to.

- Wait, but you have friends who aren't cheerleaders, right?

- No. No, not really.

Basically everyone who matters to me is a cheerleader... or the star of a football team.

- Barf, guys.

(school bell ringing)

- I swear, Lyla would climb inside Robbie's mouth

if she could.

- Besides being physically impossible, that sounds very unpleasant.

- It is my most sincere and solemn vow to you, Amy Abbasi,

that I will never get that mushy over a boy.

- Mind if I sit with you guys? - Of course not.

There's lots of room.

- The only other seat is with Tyler Flaherty.

I heard he burned down a barn then disappeared for a year.

Where did he go? - Ask Holly. She is his wife. - Ex-wife.

We got married in first grade, but I divorced him a day later

after he told everyone I peed my pants.

- I heard he was in juvie. - I can hear you guys,

just so you know. And you totally did pee your pants.

- And that's a secret that should've been protected

by the sanctity of marriage! (laughing)

- Welcome back, everyone! Sorry to break up the party,

but it's two students to a desk. Holly, could you join Mr. Flaherty, please?

- But I was here first-- - Holly!

No arguments. I promise you'll have lots of petty injustices

to rail against this year.

- Do you think they're going to make us do herkies?

- You know, if you rotate your ankle an extra 5 to 10 degrees,

you get at least an extra two inches of height.

- Amy! You're a genius!

- Feels crappy to get ditched, huh?

- That's not what's happening.

- You know, you could always just become a cheerleader.

- And you could just... - Shut up? Disappear? Hug a cactus?

- I stand by our decision to separate.

How was that one? Better? - Not at all.

What? Mom and Dad always say honesty is the best policy.

- No, it was totally better.

Just add this next part and you're golden. Watch. (music stops)

- Why haven't you answered my texts?

I thought you were gonna come over to The Calico and practice after school.

- OK, I meant to text you, but I decided to try out for cheerleading.

I didn't think you'd mind. - Cheerleading? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard

and I've been to a lot of experimental jazz concerts.

- Uh-oh. - What's wrong with cheerleading?

- Cheerleading's not for girls like you, Holly. It's for girls like--

I just never thought you would be interested

in being decoration for male athletic accomplishment.

- The team has won a million championships!

I wanna be part of something great. - She also wants to make sure

Amy doesn't ditch her for Piper, leaving her alone forever. - That's not true!

Cheerleaders are loyal and totally ride-or-die, right, Lyla?!

- I'm gonna stay out of this one.

- Well, if it's really how you feel, that's all right, I'll just sing my duet with Heather.

You know Jolene, right, Heather?

- Thanks a lot.

- Do you mind teaching me that, um, flippy thing?

- It's really difficult, but I'll teach you. - OK.

- Surprised Lyla let you out for the night. - Gimme a break.

- Dude, you were MIA all summer.

- Did you hear that? Is someone coming? - Hurry up, bro!

- Alright. Let's do this.

I'm just gonna...

OK!

- Alright, alright.

(bull grunting)

- Watch out, watch out! - Let's go.

- Go on, I made him all nice and mad for you.

- Hurry up. We've gotta leave before someone sees us.

(loud grunt) - Hello?

- Let's go, let's go, let's go! - Who's out there?

♪♪♪♪♪♪

- So that was the routine we did for state finals last year.

When I first started, I could barely do that last move, but after six months of practicing,

I got it. - Six months? She's joking, right?

- Nope. The team practices five days a week, all through the year.

- Everyone, let's break into groups of three and try that pyramid.

- C'mon. We got this. - Right.

- Think about how much fun the two of us are gonna have if we make the team!

(giggling)

♪♪♪♪♪♪

- As long as you and Holly maintain a stable base,

we're good. Right, Holly? - Yeah.

Got it.

- Oh!

- What was that? - I'm sorry.

I have... weak knees.

- Great work, everyone!

We'll be making our decisions soon!

- See you later! Fingers crossed!

- You sabotaged us on purpose.

- I'm trying to save you! Look, if you wanna get involved,

why not join the Marine Biology Club? We can help save otters!

- There is no Marine Biology Club, Holly. I want to cheer!

- Why? So that you can become a professional cheerleader

and marry a football player with a bunch of concussions who will divorce you and leave you

in a McMansion with a bunch of kids? - Yes.

That is exactly what I'm aiming for by joining our middle school cheer team.

- We used to laugh at people like them, Amy! What happened to you?

Right, you met Piper.

- If you think it's so stupid, why did you try out? I didn't ask you to.

- You don't want me to cheer with you?

- No. I don't.

Where are you going? My dad's driving you home today.

- I'll walk.

- I mean, green fields and fresh air... Wisconsin is just

so predictable. We should go to Chicago this summer. - Mm-hmm.

- Are you ignoring me so you can look at pictures of that bull?

- Come on, don't you think they're at least a little funny? - No?

I'm just glad you were smart enough not to take one of those dumb pics.

- I mean, I did try to get one. - ROBBIE! - But the bull tried to kill me,

so I never ended up getting the pic. Look how many likes they're getting!

I got the near-death experience but none of the cred!

I bet if I posted the exact same picture as Warren I'd get ten times more likes.

- Well, maybe you should put your money where your mouth is, big shot.

- Maybe I will. - Fine, but I'm coming with you.

- Seriously? - Yeah! If my boyfriend's gonna get

a bull selfie, it's gonna be the best one this town's ever seen!

- You're the best. - I know.

- ♪♪♪♪ Back and forth inside my mind ♪♪

♪♪ Like an old porch swing goes side to side ♪♪

♪♪ My head don't know... ♪♪

- ♪♪ Where to go ♪♪♪♪

- Crap. That's really good.

- Are you sad you didn't make the cheerleading team?

I saw you trying out, and judging by what I saw, I assumed you didn't make it.

- Wow, that's real nice, thanks.

I don't know if I made it, but I really don't care.

I don't want anyone to make the team. I don't even want there to be a team.

- There is a way of making that happen.

Sabotage.

- What happened to you?

You disappear for a year and come back some kind of supervillain?!

Also, I already tried that and it didn't work.

- Oh! OK, so who's the supervillain now?

So you heard rumors about where I was?

- Tons. All I know for sure is that your family's barn

burned down and then you literally disappeared.

- OK, here's what happened.

Last year, I was on death's door,

in a hospital,

recovering from a nearly fatal heart condition.

- Fine. Don't tell me, Beans.

- OK, don't call me that. - What, so you don't eat only green beans for lunch anymore?

- No, do you still pee your pants? - That was one time!

- Still not a great look for a cheerleader.

- I don't wanna be a cheerleader.

I just don't want Amy to ditch me.

- Life's too short for that. You gotta find your own thing. - And just lose Amy?

- Yeah, I mean, people grow apart, lose touch.

It sucks, but it happens.

And that's OK.

- Your pep talks are terrible.

- Well, they can't be worse than your handstand.

So where are you going, anyway?

- The Calico... if I don't die of exposure first.

- Well, do you want a lift?

- Yeah, sure.

- Hold on tight.

- Oh! If you kill me, Tyler Flaherty, I'll kill you.

- Throw on a filter!

Give that bull a flower crown!

- Hey, Walter.

I'm just gonna hop on for a second and snap a quick pic, OK?

- Wait, what are you doing?! - I need to take it

to the next level. - I don't think that's a good idea--

(grunting and screaming)

Robbie, get out fast! Get out!

- Go, go! - Come on, let's go!

- Lyla, watch out! The bull!

- Walter, come back! Robbie, the bull is loose!

- Why do so many people care about a large cucumber?

- People get excited about big things.

Don't they, Beans?

- I asked you to stop calling me that.

- Everyone's gotta have a thing, right? - Yeah,

except this town is terrible and it's gonna take a lot more than a giant cucumber to fix that.

- Come to the Open Mic. It's something in this town that isn't terrible.

Don't get too excited!

Thanks for not killing me! - There you are.

Good-looking ride you've got there. (chuckling)

- Can we talk? - Me first.

I'm stubborn, so apologies don't come easy, so just listen.

- Apology? But I'm the one who should be-- - Let me finish!

I'm sorry I was so negative about cheerleading.

The truth is, I was a cheerleader in high school.

- WHAT?! - There weren't many options for girls at the time. Not like now!

You can play soccer, or join the swim team, or the robotics club!

I just wished I hadn't followed the crowd.

That I had spent the time doing something else.

But everybody needs a thing, Holly, and if this is yours,

then I support you. I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have blown you off.

Cheerleading is not my thing, the Open Mic is.

And I can't wait to sing a duet with you. - Oh, thank goodness.

Heather was trying to get me to beatbox. (laughing)

- Well, I was hoping we could do my song!

I'm not finished. I'm stuck on the last line.

- Ohh! Well, you better get to it, then.

- Actually, I have to go, but I'll be back in like half an hour.

I'm kind of on an apology tour right now,

and then I'll be back. As long as I don't wrong someone else on the way.

(sobbing)

- Amy's not riding.

Sorry. I try not to cry in public,

but not making the cheerleading team just got to me.

- You didn't make the team?

- Uh, no.

Is that why you're here too? Because Amy made the team and you didn't?

- Oh, um, no. It's not.

Although I can't say I'm totally shocked.

- I was really hoping cheering would be my in in this town.

I've only been here a few months and everyone's known each other since forever.

I mean, you and Amy have been besties since you were, what, three years old?

- Two, actually. - Just so you know,

I don't want to come between you two.

I was hoping we'd all make the team

so we could kick butt together. - I'm sorry.

I hope my terrible pyramid performance

didn't ruin things for you, too. - I doubt it.

Without cheering, I'm just another pretty girl

with amazing style that all the boys are in love with. I mean,

at least I could have been born with something that made me interesting, like freckles

or a lazy eye. But instead I'm like the second lead of the eighth Bring It On movie

and you watch it and you're like "what's that girl's name again?" So then you look it up online

and you still can't figure it out even though you're literally looking at my picture,

because I'm just that generic. So if I'm not a cheerleader, what am I? I guess I could just

lean into being a standard issue mean girl but that seems like a lot of work.

(laughing) I'm glad my misery is so amusing.

- No, I'm not laughing at your misery! I'm laughing because you're hilarious.

Do you remember everything you just said?

- More or less. Why?

- Because you're gonna say it all again... on stage.

Two minutes. What do you have to lose?

- I have to go pick an outfit! And practice. But mostly pick an outfit!

- Where is she going? - To practice her comedy routine.

I know, I was surprised too.

I'm sorry, Amy. For being so judgey about cheerleading.

- You don't have to understand why I like it,

but it would be nice if you supported me.

- So all that stuff you said at tryouts was true?

- For as long as we've been friends,

you've been the one on stage and I've cheered from the audience.

I want a chance to shine, too.

Thanks, Sean.

Holly, I love you and I always will,

but we've always done everything together,

and I need... my thing.

Does that make sense?

- Yeah, it does.

You need to beat to the beat of your own drum.

Oh my gosh, that's it! That's the line!

♪♪♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪ Back and forth inside my mind ♪♪

♪♪ Like an old porch swing goes side to side ♪♪

♪♪ My head don't know ♪♪

♪♪ Where to go ♪♪

♪♪ I'm trying to find where I belong ♪♪

♪♪ I feel it lies inside a song ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause my heart knows ♪♪

♪♪ Where to go ♪♪

♪♪ Like a melody ♪♪

♪♪ We all sing ♪♪

♪♪ You can say, you can say what you want to ♪♪

♪♪ You can do, you can do what you really love ♪♪

♪♪ To the beat, to the beat of your own drum ♪♪

♪♪ You can feel, you can feel how you want to ♪♪

♪♪ You can walk to the rhythm that lights you up ♪♪

♪♪ To the beat, to the beat of your own drum ♪♪

♪♪ You can say, you can say what you want to ♪♪

♪♪ You can do, you can do what you truly love ♪♪

♪♪ To the beat, to the beat of your own drum ♪♪

♪♪ You can say, you can say what you want to ♪♪

♪♪ You can do, you can do what you really love ♪♪

♪♪ To the beat, to the beat of your own drum ♪♪

♪♪ You can feel, you can feel how you want to ♪♪

♪♪ You can walk to the rhythm that lights you up ♪♪

♪♪ To the beat, to the beat of your own drum ♪♪♪♪

- Thank you, Calico! (cheers and applause)

- Piper, that was incredible.

- I guess you found my thing, Holly. Who knew it would be stand-up?

- I'd call you more of a humorist,

blending wry observations with personal stories, told in a confessional style.

- Maybe your thing is finding other people's things.

- I guess that's what an Open Mic is.

- And my thing... is cheerleading?

(laughing) - And space. And science.

And math. Yeah, your thing is a lot of things.

- And it looks like someone's thing is petty vandalism.

- Oh, my gosh. Who destroyed the cucumber?

- And for the record, I don't think vandalism

should be anyone's thing.

Closed Captioning by SETTE inc.