Original subtitles

This programme contains strong language

RADIO: '..the leaders of the three main Westminster political parties

'take part in Britain's first ever prime ministerial TV debate.

'Yes, imagine, it's the biggest job interview in politics.

'lt's not just that there's never been an election TV debate before,

'these men have never debated before,

'unless you count the weekly slanging match across...'

OK, move slightly closer in. Gesture around a bit. -

Erm, hello, I'm Gordon Brown...

and so on and so on. Scottish, Scottish, Scottish.

'No Prime Minister has done what Gordon Brown will do here tonight,

'facing his opponents...'

Erm, hello? Something about this, something about that.

David Cameron. Cameron, Cameron. Posh, posh, posh.

'David Cameron knows this debate could make or break his chance

'to be Prime Minister.'

Someone else, someone else, someone else.

No idea, no idea, no idea.

'No Lib Dem leader has ever had this kind of exposure and opportunity,

'so it has to be a nerve-racking night for him, too.'

More smoke.

Nick, come on. Shall we go over and say "Hi" or something?

Look, there's Mandelson.

No wonder he's called The Prince of Darkness.

So this is the Prime Minister's stand, stage left, as agreed,

because of... So that he can... Don't be so squeamish,

because of his gammy eye, yes.

Hello. Hi, how are you? Prime Minister.

All right, be calm, relax.

Why did we agree to this?

I believe in creating...

I hate it. It's just a popularity contest.

It is ridiculous. Personality over policies.

All right? You have the experience, the moral centre,

all he has is Brylcreem and a smile.

Oh, by the way, don't forget to smile.

Hello, Gordon. Good to see you.

You'll understand if I don't wish you too much good luck.

BROWN CHUCKLES

David. Gordon. Nick.

Excuse me, sorry. so we need to draw lots.

Ah. If someone would like to choose.

Gordon, after you. No, no, you first.

No, no. No, please, I insist. Mr Clegg?

Right.

Number one. So you'll be speaking first.

Who's next?

'Quite a coup when you think about it.'

The first ever party leader to speak in the first ever debate.

We should use this, then, right? Isn't it, I don't know,

an opportunity to tell. people how we can change things?

OK, well, we've got some pretty good stuff in the speech already.

'This is your 15-minute call. All technicians on the floor. 15 minutes, please.'

Right, so, as per... Start with

"I believe in creating a fair society. A society in which..."

I want to change my opening remarks.

If I'm going to be the first to say something...

..I should bloody well say something, shouldn't I?

'Stand by, camera two. Five, four, three, two, one.'

Over the past 50 years, there have been numerous attempts

to get the Leaders of the three biggest political parties

to debate with each other during an election.

Tonight, history in the making,

as we are joined by the Leader of the Liberal Democrats, Nick Clegg.

APPLAUSE

I believe the way things are is not the way things have to be.

Now you're going to be told tonight, by these two,

that the only choice you can make is between two old parties

who've been running things for years.

I'm here to persuade you that there is an alternative.

I think we have a fantastic opportunity

to do things differently for once.

'The fight for who becomes our next Prime Minister

'has just been blown wide open.

'We are talking the political equivalent

'of that volcanic eruption.

CLEGG: 'We can create the fair society, the fair country we all want.

'A fair tax system.'

Better schools. An economy no longer held hostage by greedy bankers.

'The words keep ringing in my ear

'of both the other two leaders saying,

"We agree with Nick."

Decent, open politics.

'Those are the changes I believe in.'

"'Clegg's star rises in great TV showdown."'

"Clegg nearly as popular as Churchill."

Or it might be Obama or Gandhi.

'It's almost a feeling of hysteria!

So, don't let anyone tell you that the only choice is old politics.

'For Nick Clegg, the road to Downing Street has never seemed so clear.'

"More popular than Churchill."

Piss off, don't be daft.

Latest poll puts us first - 32%.

It won't last, though, you watch. So what?

Even if it goes down by, like, ten,

it still gives us more seats than we've ever had before. Hi, Miriam.

Hi, David. Well, then they're actually going to have to start listening to us then, aren't they?

Three-party politics at last.

Enough of our own MPs to finally make a difference.

Listen, we get nearly as many...

Fuck it, more than Labour.

Then? The Opposition.

I could get behind two-party politics then.

Oh, yeah, no. Well, then it works fine.

'Welcome to election night here on the BBC.

'It began as a two-horse race,

'it ended with three starters at the line.

'And in four minutes' time, when we have our exit poll,

'we'll have the first indication of who's the winner,

'if indeed there is a clear winner. Whether David Cameron

'becomes the first Tory Prime Minister in 13 years...'

Where is he? Bed.

Can't blame him, he's exhausted.

Mr Osborne, do you expect to be Chancellor by the morning?

Ah, the night is young. The night is young.

'In a moment, as Big Ben strikes ten...

'we'll be able to give the result of our exit poll.'

The exit poll's in.

Nick?

BIG BEN CHIMES Ten o'clock.

'And this is what we're saying. It's going to be a hung parliament

'with the Conservatives on 307,'

short of the 326 they'd need for an overall majority.

Oh, shit.

'255 seats for Labour.'

Wow!

'And the shock of the night, I think, at this early stage

'is the Liberal Democrats on 59 seats.'

We've gone down!

'The Liberal Democrats, despite all that noise and fury, have actually dropped.'

'Labour will still be a very strong fighting force after this.

'The Conservatives, and possibly the Liberals, have got...'

Yes! Bloody knew it. Tie, where's my tie?

'Why is the Labour vote that high?'

And what happened to the Lib Dems?

Look, it's fine. We're the largest party, as expected.

'Not large enough.'

I'm getting everyone on the line.

Well, please explain it to me. It can't be right, right?

We can't be about to lose seats.

'Those who said Gordon Brown was a spent force

'may have spoken too soon.'

'Fuck!'

Fucking told you.

People say they're sick of the same old politics,

but every time you give them a chance to change,

it's...better the devil you know.

Anybody would think they don't really want change.

'David Cameron, just arrived at the count in Witney.'

My duty to the country, coming out of this election,

is to play my part...

'in Britain having a strong, stable and principled Government!

PHONE RINGS

Hello? Hang on a minute.

'..to far-reaching reforms to our political system...'

He's talking to Clegg.

'..about which there is a growing consensus in our country.'

Political reform. Christ, he doesn't think he's out of it, does he? Where's Coulson?

David? Don't be weirded out, it's the Governor of California.

Mr Schwarzenegger.

Thank you. Erm, I must be honest with you,

I'm not quite Prime Minister yet.

May need to get some others on side first.

Our system can be a little complicated,

oldest parliamentary democracy and all that.

Oh, I... I wish I could terminate the whole thing.

Yup, will do. Bye-bye.

'Sadiq Aman Khan, the Labour Party candidate. 22,038.'

Yes, I heard what I said.

'That is a commanding result for Sadiq Khan.'

'He's increased his vote by 4,000...'

Oh, this isn't going to plan.

'..which in the London climate is amazing.'

Shit!

'Can David Cameron pave the way to Number 10?

'Well, we're just taxiing down the runway now.

'The Prime Minister did come down the plane to speak to us

'and I have to say he was pretty upbeat.

'Reasons to hope, grounds for fear for David Cameron tonight.'

Thank you, everyone, thank you.

'lt's Millbank, on the north bank of the Thames,

'the irony only being that it used to be Labour Towers.'

Most of the results are in.

'What if Gordon Brown tried to cling on? It's still possible to get things done,

'but the only thing certain would be a great deal of uncertainty.'

'We're able now to go back to Sheffield,

'where Nick Clegg is still waiting the result of his count.'

'And here's his problem.

'The Lib Dems increased their share of the votes overall,

'but, because of the way the voting system works,

'they have actually lost seats in the House.

'You can understand their frustration.'

Yeah. Well, I'm sorry again, Lembit.

Yeah. Excuse me, will you?

Hello?

Paul, erm, yes, I'm... I am so sorry.

'This is the exit result from...'

Nick.

Sorry, Paddy.

'I know what you're feeling.'

I've felt it myself many times.

Our best chance ever. Sorry.

Why on earth are you sorry?

'I feel so stupid.'

Buying into all that...hype.

None of it was real..

'Listen, Nick,'

it was a fantastic campaign.

And it's shit that it wasn't reflected in the number of seats.

'But that's why we campaign for reform.'

'Remember,'

it's a hung Parliament, Nick.

'Yeah, OK.' Our voice can still be heard.

Yeah. You're right.

'It's decision time for the party leaders. We now find ourselves in

'uncharted political territory. This morning, all eyes will be on them

'to see what their next steps will be.'

KNOCK ON DOOR George? George.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Hmm, what's wrong with your hair?

Despite everything being in our favour...

..I still couldn't do it.

There's still something that scares people.

Mind you, those old loyalists on the right, they scare me, so...

We could always get a momentum going before the dust settles

and form a minority now.

But you don't think we should? No. Ah, good.

Neither do I.

So...let's tum this into an opportunity.

If we ally with the Lib Dems, we'll be forced to move the party centre.

Making us more electable for 2015.

What, by them taking the credit for the fuzzy warm stuff

and us the blame for the cuts? Hmm, brilliant(!)

Or, this way...

we can share the blame.

If anything, they get more of it.

People expect us to be ruthless.

They'll be seen as traitors.

We need the Shadow Cabinet.

Good morning.

How are you feeling, please, david?

REPORTERS CLAMOUR

Paddy.

Mmm? Uh...David.

I'm worried about Nick, he's in a bad place.

Sheffield?

I mean emotionally.

He's in one of those dark moods he gets in.

Not surprised.

I can't think of a more tortuous situation for the electorate

to have put us in.

Not giving Labour enough for us to easily go with them,

not giving the Tories enough to toddle off on their own.

But what about going with the Tories?

It would be complete heresy. They'd string us up.

So, Cameron...

Cameron will claim that it's his right to govern.

So we have to offer a strong alternative...

a coalition with the Liberals.

Alternative?

There's...

Well, they, they don't add up, do they?

Labour and the Lib Dems won't make over 50% of the House.

Peter, you've been all over the airwaves talking us up.

Yeah, as a way of going out on a high, not clinging on to power.

With all their extra money - double what we had -

they still only got 53% of the popular vote.

That's nearly 70% who voted against them.

We have a moral duty to begin talks with Clegg.

Harriet.

There are risks, yes, of course.

But I couldn't, in my heart of hearts, go back to my constituents

and say there was a chance to stop the Tories and I didn't take it.

All right.

But let's be discreet.

Whoa, whoa, hold on. It's not that simple, is it?

There's, um, "the rules.”

'There's a reason why they call him God...

'and it's not just cos of his initials.'

Good morning, sir.

Gus O'Donnell. Cabinet Secretary.

D-Day, everyone. Right.

His helpful guide to negotiation.

Road-tested every possible scenario to within an inch of its life.

So, it's Scenario 4. "Failure to form a government.”

Our worst case scenario. We couldn't see how the Tories would agree

to voting reform and the Lib Dems

couldn't join the coalition without it. So, reality check.

If the markets open on Monday and we don't have a government

they'll begin selling our debt.

Well, let's get back to Number 10, then - before they lock us out.

So, in the shortest possible time British politics is going to have to

grow up and do something it hasn't done in peace time

in over 70 years - work together.

PHONE RINGS

Hello, Peter.

Gus, we're coming in. You're what?

Gordon's almost at the gates, we're following him.

'Peter, just wait a minute. This is the seat of Government.

'You are not officially the Government any more.'

You cannot use Downing Street for party purposes.

Gordon's still Prime Minister. Technically. He...

Not technically. Actually. Right, right...fine.

The sitting PM can enter through the front. I can't stress how confusing

it would be to his party aides to do the same.

Come to the Cabinet Office.

Fucking civil servants. We're going to have to break in.

Toodle-oo.

REPORTERS CLAMOUR

Where have they gone?

Didn't think we'd see the old place again.

COMPUTER BEEPS

Can't log on to my account.

Me neither.

Ah, yes, urn...

Well, we've, um, we've deleted you.

It's a new term, new Government. Not yet. Bloody hell!

Well, as you're no longer technically... Oh, come on.

What are we fannying about at? Let's bowl up to Number 10 -

"Keys, please. You lot, piss off!"

All right, all right.' 'I agree. Pat's right.'

Something happened last night, OK?

People want something different.

'Ken Clarke here and I concur. Do you hear me?'

Oh, shit the bed.

This, you're not going to take the party with you.

You think they want to get into bed with the Lib Dems

and start hugging whatever Lib Dems like to hug - trees?

Europeans. Exactly.

We couldn't be further apart on energy, crime, schools.

That's not completely true.

We went through their manifesto, a small team of us,

to see if there were overlaps and there are.

You've been planning this?

MALE REPORTER: 'All eyes on Mr Clegg right now and what decision

'he will make, but we are being told that he will sit down and think

'long and hard about who he wants to jump into bed with. And even when

'he's made that decision, it then has to be put to the party.

'This becomes quite a convoluted process...'

We'll be... We'll be making a statement shortly. Thank you.

REPORTERS CLAMOUR

Imagine what it would be like if we'd actually won seats.

Have Cameron or Brown said anything yet?

Crazy as it sounds, I think they might actually be waiting for us.

We... We need to use this then, right?

If we can get real reform on the agenda,

we'd never have to find ourselves in this position ever again.

The question is, assuming they're willing...

who with?

Tories won't touch reform with a barge pole.

Labour might not have the numbers to deliver it.

We're between a rock and a... sodding hard place.

GPS: 'In 100 yards turn right.'

Look, let's just say it, you and me now, while we have the chance.

Will our lot ever agree to do a deal with the Tories?

It'll be difficult.

Maybe impossible.

What's more difficult than Gordon Brown?

We need to step up.

Put ourselves in the game.

BROWN: We need to get on to them straightaway.

We can't be too keen. It's like flirting.

Desperate isn't sexy when you're flirting.

There's just no way the Liberals will go with the Tories.

Whatever they've said, it goes against every principle they hold.

I'll text Vince and Menzies. Er, text?

OK, look, can we just try to, um...

You should be approaching other parties through...formal channels.

Gordon, I know it sounds petty but, please,

you need you to call them the Liberal Democrats, not the Liberals.

Oh, for the love...! You know what I mean.

I know, but it pisses them off. At least try to get their name right.

FEMALE REPORTER: 'The man everyone wants to speak to this morning...'

Clegg's arriving back.

'..he hasn't said whether he would support Conservatives or Labour...'

REPORTERS CLAMOUR

Er, thank you for coming in such small numbers

'to, um, Cowley Street this morning.

'Last night was a disappointment for the Liberal Democrats.

'even though more people voted for us than ever before, even though

we had higher proportion of the vote than ever before,

'we have returned to Parliament with fewer MPs than before.

'As I've always said, whichever party gets'

the most votes, and the most seats,

if not an absolute majority, has the first right to seek to govern

'by reaching out to other parties.

'And it seems this morning, that it's the Conservative Party that has

'more votes and more seats, though not an absolute majority.

'But I repeat again my assurance'

that whatever happens in the coming hours and days and weeks,

I will continue to argue for the extensive real reforms

that we need to fix our broken electoral system.

Thank you very, very much.

REPORTERS CLAMOUR

That was a clear offer.

He wants to work with us. So...

ELECTRONIC VOICE: 'Lift going down.'

..what then?

Let's go for it.

Right. 'Ground floor.'

Let the games begin.

PHONE BEEPS

Text from Cameron's side.

They're making a speech at 2.30 and, I quote,

'We may find it interesting.” Right, well...

Yeah, well, just hold on.

I know you said what you had to say out there but let's not forget

our natural ally is Labour.

We're a centre-left party.

Yes, I hear that but, um, do the numbers work?

lt's the only option our members will accept.

And you've got to get it past them.

Yes, you're right.

Um, we need to make sure we keep everyone onside.

PHONE BEEPS

Text from Danny Alexander.

He says not to take that to heart, they still want to talk to us.

Shit! Cameron's about to speak.

Good afternoon, everybody.

Britain voted for change yesterday.

'But it also voted for a new politics.

'It did not vote for party political bickering,

'grandstanding and point scoring.

'Our country's problems are too serious.

'They are too urgent for that.

'So we must all rise Ito this occasion.

'We must show Leadership!

Nick Clegg has said

'that because the Conservative Party won the most votes,

'and the most seats in this election, we should have the chance'

to form a government. And I thank him for that.

So I want to make a big,

open and comprehensive offer to the Liberal Democrats.

'I want us to work together...' Good God! what the fuck is he doing?!

Jesus Christ! '..our deep social problems...'

He's bottled it. He admitted he didn't win. Lost all authority.

'Let me explain.' No, no.

I think he may have just done something brilliant.

He's trying to be the voice of change.

'..of course, there are policy disagreements between us,

'many of which were highlighted in those television debates...'

Worst thing is to be left with...

'We win the most votes for the first time in 13 years

'and that wet blanket hasn't got the balls to go it alone!'

Yeah, yeah... We'd better not offer them anything on electoral reform.

Of course not, look, this is a game-changer. Get on board.

PHONE DISCONNECTS

Game-changer. Everything's a game-changer these days!

The new logo's a game-changer.

My left ball's a fucking game-changer!

DIAL TONE

Remember, it's him who has everything to lose, not you.

So make sure we set the agenda, right?

'Hello?'

David, it's...it's Nick. Hi, Nick.

Thank you for the sentiment in your speech this morning.

I hope you feel that was reciprocated in what

I said this afternoon! Er, absolutely, yes. Thank you.'

We... We wanted to float the idea of starting straight away.

'Tonight.'

Oh, um... We thought perhaps both sides would be

'reasonably exhausted. Most of our lot haven't slept in days.'

We think it's important to show the world that we mean business.

Let's do it.

Good.

The three venues we're offering are here at the Cabinet Office,

Admiralty House, on The Mall, and a room in Portcullis House.

'We're first to pick?'

'In that case, Cabinet Office, please. Oh, and, er, it might be

useful to offer the Lib Dems some face-to-face briefings

about the state of the finances, all that. Right. Focus their minds.

'Good? Bye-bye.'

Er, I'm going to need copies of this.

Most expensive paper we have, nice cover, embossed, the whole shebang.

Can you get a deal today? Can you get a deal today?

I was taught, in any game of poker, you play the man, not the cards.

REPORTERS CLAMOUR

Laws. He's basically a Tory, anyway.

Almost got him to cross the floor once. Easy-peasy Lib Dem squeezy.

REPORTERS CLAMOUR

Danny Alexander. Scottish.

Shit. Oxford grad. Oh, better.

Huhne. Leadership candidate.

Some marital difficulties, apparently.

Who's Stunell? No idea. Party man, grass roots.

They won't be doing this with us, will they?

Hague. Yorkshire. Bald.

I think we know who William Hague is.

Letwin. Not to be underestimated.

Look, I know everyone probably expects us to be led by the nose

in all this, so, yes, we have to stick to our guns, but...

Course we have to stick to our guns.

Exactly. But l still think there's an opportunity here

to bring in a more mature, European style of politics.

Flexible and open. So, highlight the policy cross-overs.

For what it's worth, I mean, that's all. But make sure you do.

Well, we've got plenty to work with.

Good Lord, the last time I saw that it was a sheet of A4...

You have been preparing for this, haven't you?

OK, I think we've got everything.

We'll be in touch as soon as we have something.

Paddy...

we're not going to throw the baby out with the bath water. All right?

You... You have to trust us.

After you.

This way, gentlemen. Thank you, William.

Welcome, gentlemen.

I and my team are here to support you in any way that you need.

And, er, to which end, I'd like to offer some in-depth briefings

from the Bank of England and the Treasury

so that you're aware how important it is that, one way or another...

a decision is reached. Oh, I, um...

I don't think we want to feel like we're getting bounced into something

under pressure. Well, I'll, er... I'll just set these down here

in case you wish to peruse.

And, er, I'll be here to take minutes.

Will these minutes be made public after?

Freedom of information, you know.

I wonder if it would be best if we were, um, left alone, if so.

I agree. Probably best.

Well, just to say, er, without meaning to hurry you

at an unfair pace,

every day without an outcome will lead to greater uncertainty.

The world is watching, gentlemen.

And it's waiting.

DIAL TONE

Gordon. 'Hi, Paddy.'

I think I can get Nick to talk to you at the same time.

'Well, I'm pleased to hear it. lt's only right.'

Well, you know us older lot, we've got past form with you guys.

But I have to warn you, the younger ones...

Well, they're not quite as ideologically constrained,

shall we say. But leave it with me.

Oh, look, Paddy, I have to be straight with you.

The prospect of not having to work with Brown...

it is sort of a relief.

Just have a chat.

'Listen to what he's got to say.'

Try not to talk down to him.

And, for the love of God, it's the Liberal Democrats.

Oh, and, er, smile.

Nick. Hello, Gordon.

'Congratulations on the campaign. You presented yourself very well.'

But look, Nick, I appreciate that you're speaking to the Conservatives

but I think this presents us with a historic opportunity

for a centre-left progressive coalition.

Sounds like he's reading this.

"Look, whatever the Tories are offering, you know we can beat it.'

The difference is we believe it.

I hear you, Gordon, but how do we convince the public that the second

and third party... Look, Nick... ..has a mandate?

We have more than... We have more than half the vote between us.

That's more than half the country who voted against Tory cuts. Now...

I think our two teams should meet soon.

Just so you know what your options are from both sides, yes?

OK, well...

..let's look into that. 'Because the thing is, Nick,'

you and I, if we both lead our parties respectively

'into this new idea, we can achieve something truly magnificent.

'You and I, if we both achieve...'

Right, now there are clear policy crossovers between us.

So, here is an 11 page document

to begin with.

Oh, well, that's...prepared.

We want to make this work. So...

Perhaps we could talk about what we do agree on first.

Sound good? Yes, that sounds like ia good idea to me.

I take it that excludes Europe, then?

Right. Although it is a bridge we'll have to cross at some point.

Our key pillars are cutting the lower rate of tax.

Cutting tax? We can work with that.

A pupil premium for schools. A greener economy.

And then, of course...

voting reform.

Well, as you know, there's zero appetite for doing away with

first past the post from us.

A big offer on voting reform is going to be a red line for us. Hmm.

Is it just me or is it getting terribly hot in here?

Is that all they asked for? Why aren't they asking for more?

I don't think they've quite clocked yet that it's us who need them.

Well, let's hope it stays that way.

There is one obvious roadblock to a deal, though. Voting reform.

We can't give it and they won't budge without it.

Well, maybe they're bluffing.

Seeing how much they can squeeze out of us.

Labour will offer it to them. Well, they're not talking to Labour.

They're talking to us.

They say they want to do a deal.

Lib Dem policies becoming law.

And Cabinet posts maybe, too.

You could be up for something big. Education Maybe Home Sec.

And what...? What do they want in return?

The biggest thing.

To begin cuts this year.

Six billion. We campaigned against that. It could damage the recovery.

We campaigned against because that's the luxury of the third party,

isn't it? But now we're being offered some real responsibility.

We might have to look more...

responsibly at the finances.

Which, as we've been made aware, are not good.

It means very few of our spending policies will pass.

Tuition fees.

Well, perhaps some things are more important. If we can change

the whole democratic process so that it's fairer... 'More important?"

..then we can achieve so much more in the longer run. Paddy...

we all toed the party line on this publicly, but some of us have been

trying to change it for ages. Oh, come on, Nick. It was a key pledge!

We can never be a credible party of power with something as huge

and unaffordable as this, not the way things are.

Even if it's the right thing to do?

Is it right for those who can't afford an expensive education

to subsidise those who can? That isn't the argument and you know it.

Read the reports, Paddy. There is no money!

FEMALE REPORTER: 'As we enter a third day of negotiation

'between the political parties, with little sign of an agreement,

'this morning will see all three leaders

'present at the commemorations to mark VE Day.'

I appreciate this is delicate...

but the precedent dictates the Prime Minister lays the first wreath.

An appropriate gesture may be all three of you laying one together,

under the circumstances.

Right.

God, he's coming over.

Brown's going over.

Hell's teeth, what's he doing?

Nick, hi. Gordon.

Look, don't be nervous about these things, you'll get used to them.

But look, about our chat...

Gordon, I'm, I'm not sure now is...

Of course, but I wanted to stress, again, cross-party talks, I think,

is the best option for the count given the pressing financial...

Gordon.

David. David.

Nick.

Nick.

Gordon.

FEMALE REPORTER: 'Protestors have gathered outside a Liberal Democrat

'Party meeting today calling for reform of the electoral system...'

I've arranged to see Cameron. You lot...

..talk to Labour.

I told Brown we'd get our teams together. God, really?

It'll help keep our side onside.

Just hear them out, that's all.

Well, at least it might appease this lot. Something needs to.

How am I going to meet Cameron discreetly with that going on?

So, who's on their team?

Mandelson and Adonis, two peers of the realm no less.

Ed Miliband and Ed Balls.

Well, two Eds are better than one.

See pictures of the Lib Dems protesting?

Even their own members don't want them talking to the Tories.

Well, that would be true if they actually were their own members.

Labour Party workers - we sent them.

Jesus, Peter.

So, are we going to talk strategy, for in there?

No. We know what we're doing. We'll just wing it.

Nice to see you.

GENERAL GREETINGS

So, how would you like to proceed?

Well, I, I think we just get talking, right?

Do you have a proposal or...?

Well, our questions would be over how viable a coalition could be,

given the numbers and the, er, public mood.

Oh? What's the public mood?

The fact is our views on Europe are the same,

on the House of Lords it's the same, the deficit... Actually...

Actually we've revised our view on that. Wait. What?

We shared a platform denouncing that policy. What's changed?

We should get Vince and Alistair together later, thrash it out.

Well, we've Nick's authority to negotiate on policy now.

Here, today.

You do have that authority?

Of course.

Within reason.

'I mean, they got 59 seats.'

We're four times the size and being spoken to like the junior party.

HELICOPTER OVERHEAD

..I've said this to him before.

Nick. Everything all right? Bit of ducking and diving.

But, er, so I... I think we're through here.

After you. Right.

It's a bit like putting two pandas together in a zoo, innit?

See if they get it on.

I just thought, um, as we're all going to be working together, um...

you and I really need to get along, too, I suppose.

Yes, yes, yes, of course.

We're not from all that far away, are we? You grew up in...

Er, Chalfont St Giles. Yeah. Buckinghamshire.

And, and you were... Peasemore. Little place just down the road.

And I suppose Westminster School isn't a world apart from Eton.

Chapel at 8am, come hell or high water, all that. God, don't.

So...

Look, um, I'm sure you have people saying that, um,

politically you and I are all square pegs and round holes, but, um...

Well, I hope you've clocked my efforts to make a progressive shift

in the party. Compassion.

Just and financially responsible compassion, which I don't think

is a million miles away from some of your own positions.

Well, we're a part? of diverse views.

It's important I accommodate those in any agreement.

Absolutely. And, to that end, Cabinet posts.

We were thinking of offering your lot, say, five or six.

Naturally, we'd need to find you a Department,

assuming you want a brief. And in terms of your title, though...

I think, you know, we just commit, to you,

as our Deputy Prime Minister.

Deputy Prime Minister.

Deputy PM?

I think he was trying to flatter me with a title.

And it's going to take more than that.

Miriam away? Brussels.

We need to keep it down, by the way, kids are asleep.

Well, there was no enthusiasm from the Labour lot, Nick.

Right, David?

I mean, the body language just wasn't there.

You wanna know what I'm thinking?

Yes.

Cos I think it's what I'm thinking.

Say it.

We go for it.

Fully, now, with the Tories.

I could work with Cameron, I can.

Labour are finished. Well...

there's no sign from the Tories that they'll budge on reform.

How do we force them on that?

Look...

we need to keep the Labour option in play as long as possible.

And get the best possible terms from the Tories.

You know, force their hand.

But how do we convince the Tories, Labour are a credible option for us?

No-one believes you can work with Brown.

What if their leader wasn't Brown?

Maybe it's the only way to make a real difference.

What do you mean? Brown's a dead man walking.

They'll replace him sooner or later. He lost, for Christ's sake.

So you're saying...

I'm saying if the Labour Party can't topple its own Leader...

..we might have to blood well do it for them.

ON TV: '..from his home in Scotland,

'where he has been spending the weekend with his family.'

Can't even enter through the back door any more.

'..or will talks with the Lib Dems get under way?'

PHONE RINGS

Hello? Gordon.

I'm trying my bloody best here.

But my guys say your lot didn't even want to be there.

What do you mean, body language?

I don't know. How were you sat?

What do you mean, how? My arse on the chair, two feet on the floor.

What, like slouched?

Were you sat up straight? I was sat up straight.

I was sat up straight.

I don't think history is going to be decided on posture.

Och, enough.

I'm away to see Clegg. I'll repair the damage myself.

Get out the way. Oh!

I want to avoid the press catching me with Brown personally.

Guilt by association and all that.

And let's try and make sure Brown isn't seen coming either.

How long's this been here?

Oh, longer than all of us. Churchill used it during the war.

It'll lead you all the way through to the Ministry of Defence.

Car will be waiting.

Oh, God, will it ever end?

One long fucking metaphor.

Oh.

Something touched my foot. It was my foot.

He's going to bring up me... isn't he?

As a barrier to a deal?

Look, don't...

Don't play the fool.

I've been assuming as much since the election began.

It's the one card I actually do have to play.

To save the party.

Well, whatever happens, that's up to us.

Our side.

It's up to you when you go.

Come on.

Almost there.

How do you ask a man who's been at the centre of British politics'

for my entire political life...

HE SIGHS

How do you ask him to fall on his own sword?

KNOCK ON DOOR

Nick. Thank you for meeting.

Please...

Danny, hello. How are you? Gordon. Peter.

So, look, I assure you,

we are deadly serious about making this work.

But I'm very worried about the ideological gaps

in a Liberal-Tory coalition.

But I'd be interested in what you have to say.

Well, um...

The numbers say, "Right".

But our hearts, of course, say, "Left".

Well, that's what I'm saying.

A progressive alliance has been the dream for as long as I remember.

I feel it.

It's not... It's not just opportunistic. I-I-I feel it!

I think the challenge is for any government to seem legitimate.

And I think it would be very hard to appear legitimate if...

..a Prime Minister who, in the eyes of the public,

had lost the general election...

..if he were to...

somehow still...

..still be Prime Minister.

He'd have to stay on for a period of time for calm

and to get your stuff through our party.

A new leader couldn't do that.

A clear timetable would...would be helpful.

First half of a four-year term.

I ...

I don't think that would cut it for us.

We'd be, er...

We'd be talking months.

Let us get back to you on that.

God, that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Come on, Nick. You really didn't have a choice.

Jesus, I shouldn't have asked him with others in the room.

That wasn't fair.

'We are eagerly awaiting an announcement from Mr Brown,

'but I have to say, it's difficult for us

'to anticipate what that might be.'

REPORTERS CLAMOUR

We have a parliamentary and not presidential system in this country.

I have no desire to stay in my position longer than is needed!

Shh, shh, shh. Shit, what's he doing?!

'The reason that we have a hung parliament is that no single party

'and no single leader was able to win the full support of the country.

'As leader of my party,

'I must accept that that is a judgement on me.'

Bollocks. It's a kamikaze mission.

'I therefore intend to ask the Labour Party to set in train

'the processes needed for its own leadership election.'

Well, that's it.

'As we know, the Liberal Democrats...'

The one thing stopping them from going with Labour...

it's gone.

'Mr Clegg has just informed me...'

he now wishes, also,

to take forward formal discussions with the Labour Party.

We're finished.

'I believe it is sensible...' Aren't we? lt's over.

'..and it's in the national interest to respond positively.'

'For many Lib Dems, their hearts beat closer...'

We have to make an offer on reform.

Just let's think about... I don't want to hear it.

We have no more cards left to play.

'..and the Liberal Democrats. I will take no part in that contest.

'I will back no individual candidate.

'I now intend to facilitate the discussions

'that the Liberal Democratic Party has asked for.'

You always wanted power to change things.

This must be what it feels like to get it.

'..the continuing fight against terrorism...'

Paddy, at some point, you're going to have to just decide

if you're with me or not.

'..if they want us to continue Ito pursue the economic...'

Labour talks official. 6pm.

Good.

Getting Brown to hand in his resignation was one thing.

Now we need to make sure he stays in Number Ten

while we nail it with the Tories.

I'll show 'em bad body language.

THEY MURMUR

Thank you.

Right, well, here's an agenda. We thought we'd begin...

Actually, we wanted to quickly say something first. If that's OK?

We feel. that some of the rhetoric and general approach last time

was slightly defensive.

Without giving too much away,

the Conservatives have some serious offers on the table about policy.

PHONE BUZZES

There's a sensible plan being drawn up.

And unless we get some...

Well, I, er...

Well, I think I've made my point.

So, um...let's try again, eh?

The whole party's convened. They're waiting for you now.

We have to up our offer, Pat. But it's not true.

But we don't know that it definitely isn't true.

Chances are, they are offering electoral reform right now.

But we don't know.

MURMURING

Yes.

We won the most seats.

ALL CALL OUT

And so of course the majority of our manifesto should be implemented.

Yes, all of it. All of the manifesto.

But unless we can offer something on voting reform...

But if they win a referendum and change how MPS are elected,

it benefits the smaller party.

Precisely so. We might never be in power again.

Exactly. That's the whole bloody point of it.

Look... Listen to me.

I want to be heard on this very clearly.

OK, OK, let's park energy for now.

At least we can all agree on a referendum on AV.

It's concrete, in the bank.

We wondered about going further.

Voting reform was in both of our manifestos.

So we think there's a mandate to implement it

without a referendum.

I just don't think our guys would vote that through.

Most would fear a change in voting would cost them their seats.

But if it was in both of our manifestos...

It's a trap. They've no intention of going with us.

They just want to blame us when it fails.

Without giving too much away,

the Conservatives have some serious offers on the table...

This is slipping away.

Of course it's slipping away. This is going.

They are talking to Labour right now.

ALL CALL OUT How do you know they are?

And I have it on good authority

that Labour are offering reform

without a referendum. What?!

HUBBUB

Are you saying that you are certain

that Labour have offered reform

without a referendum?

Yes.

MURMURING

It's a funny thing, history.

Never fails to come back and bite you in the arse.

I remember '74,

The last time we were hung.

It was Mrs T, then a junior minister,

who had the foresight to say no to coalition.

It wasn't worth it, she said,

to risk our ability to ever get in again.

Of course, in the long run, she was right.

Still...

Who knows what the future holds?

All I know is,

the Leaders in this party only ever get toppled from inside.

Managed regicide...

..whenever we're betrayed.

Let's see, though, eh?

REPORTER: 'Mr Osborne, the markets are very nervous

'about how long your negotiations are taking.

'We've made our offer on voting reform to the Liberal Democrats.

'It's a good offer and it's decision time.'

How does Cameron stay so bloody tanned?

I look like I'm dying.

Brown's running out of patience.

If he walks, we lose all bargaining power.

I need a deal with the Tories, one I can sell to the party.

'And I need it today.' CLAMOUR

Right.

Shall we have a stab at trying to draw up an agreement, then?

They're going to go with the Tories, I know it. I just know it.

We should start planning to go.

You should try not to leave in the dark.

It'll look better.

RINGING TONE

PHONE RINGS

Nick, it's Gordon.

I need to know if your negotiations with us are serious.

It's time to decide. Look, I, um... I appreciate your patience.

I hear yesterday was a good meeting.

Nick, you're still talking with the Tories. You're with them now.

We're just exploring a couple of things but, look,

I want to implore you, what you did was noble

and dignified. And we want to keep... You need to decide.

If I have to go to the Palace, it has to be today.

Right. I'll be in touch as soon as...

I need to hear from you by six.

He's going. Today.

He can't!

Peter, he has a constitutional duty to wait

until someone can replace him. Well, he can't win.

On one hand, he's a squatter clinging to power, on the other,

the entire Establishment is asking him to flipping stay!

Look, David, Brown is packing his bags as we speak.

We have run out of time.

There aren't guarantees they'll keep their party line over Europe.

We've got an offer on electoral reform. We can't risk losing it.

This could trip us up down the line

and we haven't even got on to Trident yet!

David, David, David... I don't want to hear it.

Just move quicker!

PHONE RINGS

Nick, have you made a decision?

I'm sorry, I need one more hour.

I can't do it, Nick. Please.

There's a disagreement with those guys over something.

If we can't get over that, we want to seriously talk to you.

I have a plan I'd like to put to you.

One more hour.

I'm sorry, we bent over backwards on electoral reform.

Our backbenchers will not budge on concessions over Europe.

It's time.

We haven't signed anything with the Tories yet.

We said we'd call back.

PHONE RINGS

Gordon...

I need... I just need another ten minutes.

I'm sorry.

Gordon, they're using you.

Don't let it end like this. Don't let the bastards win.

Nick, I'm going. Gordon, please.

Unless you can tell me you're breaking off talks

with the Tories to go with us, I have no choice.

Another ten minutes, I swear.

Nick, you've made your decision. This has to end.

I won't...

I won't leave in the dark.

You're a good man, Nick, but I won't.

I have to go now. Gordon, please... Nick, you're a good man.

You can't leave. I... Nick, We could still go with you.

I just need another... You're a good man, Nick.

I need another ten minutes. Goodbye.

We still might be able...

HE SIGHS

There you are, Peter.

You can go and write those memoirs now, eh?

Yes.

JON SNOW: 'Gordon Brown, I am told, may be coming in or going out.

'I don't know which. I don't think going home. This is extraordinary.

'What do you thinks going on here, Gary?

'Last night the Liberal Democrats met and were told

'by their negotiating team, and by their leader...'

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Mr Cameron, it's the Cabinet Secretary.

The Queen will be asking you to form a Government.

We're sending a car to take you to the Palace.

Um, thank... Thank you.

RECEIVER CLICKS

I've...been called to the Palace.

You don't look like you've just become

the most powerful man in the country. Because I'm not.

I'm the Leader of a minority Government

that won't last the summer.

CLAMOUR

As you know, the General Election

left no party able to command a majority in the House of Commons.

I said I would do all that I could

to ensure a strong, stable and principled Government.

'Only those that have held the office of Prime Minister

'can understand the full weight of its responsibilities

'and its great capacity for good.'

I have been privileged to learn much

about the very best in human nature and a fair amount, too,

about its frailties,

including my own.

Above all, I loved the job

for its potential to make the country I love fairer.

More tolerant,

more green,

more democratic.

More prosperous and more just.

Truly a greater Britain.

'And as I leave the second most important job I could ever hold,

'I cherish even more the first -

'as a husband and a father.

'Thank you and goodbye!

APPLAUSE

MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH

All the best.

Thank you for all you do. Goodbye.

DOOR OPENS

CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK

APPLAUSE

Right, we have half an hour.

Thank you, gentlemen. Oliver.

I'll go straight there. See you at Number Ten.

Good luck with your lot. Government calls. Gentlemen.

CLAMOUR

CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK

I can't sell this to the party.

There's no clarity on Europe. It was the best we could do.

Right, it's not over! We're doing this.

Nick, I don't think you're going to convince them...

I'm all in on this, do you understand?

I've got nothing left. They're going to sign up to this if it kills me

REPORTER: 'Here is David Cameron's car pulling into Downing Street.

'We don't know yet what he said to the Queen,

'but we know she has asked him to form a Government,'

CHEERING, CAMERAS CLICK

Prime Minister, welcome to Downing Street.

HE LAUGHS

Mrs Cameron.

And that convinced me to fight

for liberal values of justice and equality.

That's why I became a Lib Dem.

That's why I became an MP.

And that's why I passionately believe

that we should say "no" to this agreement.

This could completely destroy us.

We have to think long-term.

l am thinking long-term. This party has been anti-Tory

for the last 150 years!

Listen to me. I've spent years, decades protesting.

We all have.

Here's a chance for REAL reform at last.

Yes, at the expense of other things, but it's for the greater good.

Is there any news on the Lib Dems?

Do you really want a Tory-only Government in there,

acting Tory-only policies? Slamming the poor, the environment...

Most of us have spent our lives fighting them

and you're asking us to just put all that aside? Exactly!

Look, listen to me.

I'm asking you

to grab this historic chance

to once and for all...

matter.

ALL MURMUR

Paddy, what do you think?

HUSH DESCENDS

Well, I, um...

I came here tonight to resign.

UPROAR

And walking here, I thought,

"I can't do this. I can't get into bed with them lot, I just can't."

A whole lifetime with a vision of a fair and just society

that I think runs diametrically opposite to theirs.

And then, I read this document here and listened to Nick. And...

..he has...

..he has done something that I never could,

not really, in all my years.

He's got them to take us seriously.

Yeah?

Will it be simple,

easy, clean?

Of course not, how could it be?

A chance to finally get some of the things we've been fighting for?

How could that be easy?

It's just a question of whether we are willing

to take the really very bloody rough with the smooth.

Hmm?

Nick has given us this chance.

So, now I think...

Fuck it, let's do it!

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Well done, Nick!

Well done, Paddy!

APPLAUSE CONTINUES

CLAMOUR

Our entire system is designed so this shouldn't happen.

That one party always emerges. And yet, here we are.

'So, is this how it's going to be from now on?'

Government formed behind closed doors?

If the public can't decide, yes.

REPORTERS CLAMOUR

'Perhaps the problem isn't in deciding.

'Perhaps the problem is the choice.'

Careful, Jeremy.

Impartiality, remember.

This is your room.

Thank, Gus.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Nick.

The next five years...

..it's going to be let-down, after U-turn, after...

What if people look back on this,

on me,

and they simply don't agree?

What if I made a mistake?

Nick, come on.

You got in, against the odds.

'And now we can change everything.

'As two-party politics becomes three,

'becomes four,

'we can give people a choice

'to change the way governments are chosen for ever.

'That will be your legacy.

'And who knows, the kingmaker may even survive the king.'

What? What are you smiling at?

Nothing.

HE CHUCKLES

Shall we?

Yeah.

On the morning after the night before, did you not think,

"I'm hooked up to someone for five years

"who I barely know and have barely spoken to?"

Prime Minister, if this is such a fantastic agreement

for new politics, can I ask what you would possibly

have against proportional representation?

This is a charming love-in.

But what sceptics say is that the Left of the Liberal Democrat Party

and the Right of the Tory Party are so far apart

it can just never hold together for very long.

We all thought this coalition

was a sort of accident of the election result,

but you seem to be making it sound like it's a mission.

Do you think coalitions are a good thing? A bad thing?

A necessary evil? A leap in the dark?