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1
00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:52,820
It is time.
2
00:00:54,570 --> 00:01:00,620
They've reached the second crucial
turning point in their destiny.
3
00:01:00,790 --> 00:01:05,290
Their message is about to
reach millions.
4
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:09,210
But... we will change all that.
5
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:14,010
When our mission is successful...
6
00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:18,340
...no longer will the world
be dominated...
7
00:01:18,510 --> 00:01:23,810
...by the legacy of these two fools!
8
00:01:24,020 --> 00:01:27,230
No longer will we hear this:
9
00:01:27,940 --> 00:01:29,940
We will stop them now!
10
00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:33,110
Brothers and sisters...
11
00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,530
...are we ready?
12
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:11,500
- Greetings, my excellent pupils.
- Station.
13
00:03:11,710 --> 00:03:15,920
Let's continue our study of the
physics of acoustical reverberation.
14
00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:19,670
Meet today's most non-bogus
guest speakers.
15
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,880
Say hello to Thomas Edison.
16
00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:23,760
Hello there.
17
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,140
To help us on the musical side:
18
00:03:26,430 --> 00:03:28,270
Johann Sebastian Bach.
19
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,560
And Sir James Martin
of Faith No More...
20
00:03:35,230 --> 00:03:39,820
...founder of the Faith No More
Spiritual and Theological Center.
21
00:03:41,070 --> 00:03:45,410
- Station!
- Station!
22
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:48,580
And a special treat
from the 23rd century:
23
00:03:48,830 --> 00:03:50,540
Miss Ria Paschelle.
24
00:03:55,330 --> 00:03:57,800
Miss Paschelle is
the inventor of the...
25
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,590
...statiophonicoxygeneticamp-
lifiagraphiphonideliverberator.
26
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,720
Hard to imagine the world
without them, isn't it?
27
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:10,220
Remember, this Friday, Ben Franklin
and Aretha Franklin will be here.
28
00:04:10,390 --> 00:04:15,440
Saturday is the field trip
to Babylonia. And very important:
29
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:21,030
Do not do your homework without
wearing headphones...
30
00:05:18,210 --> 00:05:21,170
De Nomolos. My old teacher.
31
00:05:21,670 --> 00:05:26,260
Rufus.
My favorite pupil.
32
00:05:27,050 --> 00:05:29,050
- I thought you were...
- Dead?
33
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,140
No.
34
00:05:32,010 --> 00:05:33,980
Just in preparation.
35
00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:40,940
I worked within the system
until I could stand it no longer.
36
00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:42,980
And soon...
37
00:05:43,230 --> 00:05:49,200
...soon the system
will never have existed.
38
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,080
- You won't get away with it.
- Time will tell.
39
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:54,830
Time has told.
40
00:05:55,080 --> 00:06:00,840
I'll go back and change that,
with the aid of my secret weapons!
41
00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,680
How's it going, dudes?
42
00:06:26,860 --> 00:06:31,160
Friends, friends, friends.
These are automatons.
43
00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:35,580
Replicas only.
Furnished with my agenda.
44
00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:38,540
Now, what is your mission?
45
00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:43,840
- First, we totally kill Bill and Ted.
- Then we take over their lives.
46
00:06:44,050 --> 00:06:46,340
Then we utterly destroy them.
47
00:06:46,550 --> 00:06:51,470
At the Battle of the Bands, we give
their speech except totally different.
48
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:55,640
And thus a new future is born.
A great future.
49
00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:58,310
Don't tell us.
You programmed us.
50
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:01,230
- He's totally a robot!
- So are you!
51
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,360
We're total metal heads!
52
00:07:04,610 --> 00:07:06,070
Shut up.
53
00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:11,200
Now.
54
00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,450
- What is the fuel?
- Fear!
55
00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:17,330
- What is the engine?
- Discipline!
56
00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:19,830
- What is the ideal?
- Order!
57
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,170
And how do we achieve it?
58
00:07:31,380 --> 00:07:33,010
Death to Bill and Ted!
59
00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:39,060
Catch you later, evil dude.
60
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:24,100
I am Bill S. Preston...
61
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:25,980
...Esquire!
62
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:32,320
This is Ted "Theodore" Logan!
63
00:08:34,950 --> 00:08:37,200
On drums and keyboards...
64
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:41,040
...celebrating their fifth year
in the 20th century...
65
00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:44,290
...the princesses
from medieval England.
66
00:08:44,710 --> 00:08:47,210
Joanna and Elizabeth.
67
00:08:48,630 --> 00:08:49,880
And we are...
68
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,340
...Wyld Stallyns.
69
00:08:57,930 --> 00:09:01,310
You tell me you're
the greatest band, but you stink.
70
00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:05,390
We don't understand it either.
71
00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,190
You can't sing.
72
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:12,070
- The girls can play. But you guys?
- Girls mature faster than guys.
73
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,780
Plus, they started
in the 15th century.
74
00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:16,280
What do you mean?
75
00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:19,830
- They're from medieval England.
- Ted, shut up.
76
00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,120
Medieval England, Iowa.
77
00:09:22,330 --> 00:09:26,750
The Battle of the Bands is
the biggest event in the area.
78
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,710
We're talking
about a $25,000 first prize...
79
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:34,340
...a two-year record deal and exposure
to people in the business.
80
00:09:34,590 --> 00:09:40,430
We're even live on Channel 12. If you
were me, would you put you guys on?
81
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:41,810
No way.
82
00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:46,890
Since you work for Pretzels 'N' Cheese,
I'll give you a shot.
83
00:09:47,060 --> 00:09:48,730
Excellent!
84
00:09:50,770 --> 00:09:56,150
But last. Midnight.
By that time, everyone will be gone.
85
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,910
That's all right.
We're used to that.
86
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:02,540
We cleaned out Ted's brother's
junior high dance.
87
00:10:02,740 --> 00:10:06,210
They turned on "La Bamba"
while he was playing his solo.
88
00:10:06,410 --> 00:10:08,210
Shut up, Ted!
89
00:10:08,460 --> 00:10:12,500
Guys, do yourself a favor.
Prepare a little.
90
00:10:12,670 --> 00:10:15,720
Work on your act.
Think of something.
91
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:19,260
Don't worry.
We won't let you down.
92
00:10:23,930 --> 00:10:28,020
- Dude, we gotta win.
- Then we could propose to the ladies.
93
00:10:29,190 --> 00:10:32,900
We can't raise a family on the
money from Pretzels 'N' Cheese.
94
00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:37,240
I'll tell Missy we're on our way.
95
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,740
Should be a most resplendent
birthday party.
96
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:45,370
- Shall we, ladies?
- Great, sure.
97
00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:09,390
So you have something
else to celebrate tonight.
98
00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:12,440
We got into the Battle of the Bands.
99
00:11:14,860 --> 00:11:18,190
If we win, I'll totally
pay you back your money.
100
00:11:18,610 --> 00:11:20,450
What if you don't win?
101
00:11:22,450 --> 00:11:26,790
Well, uh, I guess...
102
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:34,670
- Maybe sell more blood.
- Think about selling the instruments.
103
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,760
Of course, we've always got
a spot for you.
104
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:43,510
Remember my friend, Colonel Oats
from the Alaskan Military School?
105
00:11:48,810 --> 00:11:50,480
- "How's it going?"
- Yeah.
106
00:11:50,690 --> 00:11:52,520
Splendidly.
107
00:11:53,940 --> 00:11:55,190
Remember...
108
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,030
...it's not too late for you, Ted.
109
00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:06,080
For either of you.
110
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,250
For all four of you.
111
00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:19,090
Fresh fudge.
112
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,760
Hi, Oatsie.
113
00:12:23,630 --> 00:12:24,930
Darling.
114
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,390
- Hi, guys.
- Hi, Missy.
115
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,310
Hey, Missy.
I mean, Mom.
116
00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:39,730
I can't believe Missy
divorced your dad...
117
00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:41,570
...and married mine.
118
00:12:42,530 --> 00:12:44,110
Shut up, Ted.
119
00:12:49,580 --> 00:12:52,580
- Your dad looks bad.
- I know.
120
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:55,710
What's next?
121
00:12:55,960 --> 00:13:00,840
- Maybe she'll marry you.
- Then you'll be your own stepdad.
122
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:10,180
You probably noticed we haven't
given you our gifts yet.
123
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,100
That's because...
124
00:13:17,810 --> 00:13:20,820
That's because we wanted to say...
125
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,450
Excuse us, dude.
126
00:13:40,130 --> 00:13:41,750
I wrote this myself.
127
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:44,050
I wrote this last night.
128
00:13:49,180 --> 00:13:50,180
"Elizabeth..."
129
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,390
"Joanna...
130
00:13:53,140 --> 00:13:56,640
...as I wander through this dark
and Ionely forest of life..."
131
00:13:56,810 --> 00:13:59,190
"...surrounded by various beasts..."
132
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,480
"...bears, vipers, squirrels..."
133
00:14:02,650 --> 00:14:05,190
"Not to mention barnacles
and algae..."
134
00:14:06,030 --> 00:14:09,450
"...man-of-wars, starfish,
blowfish, catfish..."
135
00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:11,870
Oh, no, that's freshwater.
136
00:14:12,870 --> 00:14:17,040
The point is, I know we promised you
a better life than this.
137
00:14:18,460 --> 00:14:23,380
What I mean to say is, I realize
when we took you out of England...
138
00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:27,010
...we said the future held
some really good stuff.
139
00:14:27,220 --> 00:14:30,390
Although stuff hasn't
worked out how we thought...
140
00:14:31,050 --> 00:14:34,020
...it will, we hope.
141
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,060
The day after tomorrow,
if things work out...
142
00:14:38,770 --> 00:14:40,900
What this is about is...
143
00:14:48,910 --> 00:14:50,620
- Will you...?
- Marry us?
144
00:14:57,540 --> 00:14:59,370
- Theodore...
- I'd love to.
145
00:15:40,750 --> 00:15:45,460
- Aim for the cat, dude!
- I'm trying, Evil Ted! I'm trying!
146
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:52,010
Aw, just missed!
147
00:16:02,230 --> 00:16:06,440
- Not bad.
- Yeah, let's make it bad.
148
00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:19,080
We're here, dude.
149
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,460
Is Rufus with you?
150
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:23,790
One second.
151
00:16:35,430 --> 00:16:39,390
Looks like we lost him in the
circuits of time, duder.
152
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,980
Good.
Then he's gone forever.
153
00:16:43,140 --> 00:16:46,560
Our first act of business:
154
00:16:46,730 --> 00:16:49,980
Destroy that ridiculous,
insipid band!
155
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:52,490
You got it, dude!
156
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:54,660
Get to work.
157
00:16:56,660 --> 00:16:57,620
Now!
158
00:16:57,830 --> 00:16:59,540
Study these books well.
159
00:16:59,660 --> 00:17:02,290
When my mission is completed...
160
00:17:02,540 --> 00:17:05,250
...this will be the new history.
161
00:17:06,710 --> 00:17:08,210
What a shithead.
162
00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:15,260
- Bye!
- Bye!
163
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:17,930
Drive safe!
164
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:20,430
- Dude.
- What?
165
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,140
After we're married,
will the girls stay with us?
166
00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:27,230
Yeah, our girlfriends are
most chaste.
167
00:17:27,650 --> 00:17:31,480
- At least they're not dating our dads.
- Good point, dude.
168
00:17:36,740 --> 00:17:39,370
- Hello?
- This is Joanna.
169
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:42,580
Joanna! How'd you call so fast?
170
00:17:42,830 --> 00:17:44,910
It's not important. This is:
171
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:49,420
Elizabeth and I have decided
we're quitting Wyld Stallyns.
172
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:50,590
What?
173
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:51,920
- Yes!
- Why?
174
00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:55,090
You're losers and
we don't want to see you again.
175
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:56,260
No way!
176
00:17:56,470 --> 00:18:02,470
We're going to the desert to be alone.
It's over. Goodbye.
177
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:14,190
- I totally fooled them.
- Yeah, they're completely brilliant.
178
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:15,450
Not!
179
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:19,450
- Let's start phase two.
- Station.
180
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,350
An incredible fortune in stones.
181
00:18:51,940 --> 00:18:54,900
Yet I'd trade them all
for a hand phaser.
182
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,530
Or a good solid club.
183
00:18:59,450 --> 00:19:02,910
Maybe we should've proposed
to them sooner.
184
00:19:04,870 --> 00:19:06,870
How could we, Ted?
185
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,620
We could barely afford
our own apartment.
186
00:19:10,290 --> 00:19:14,130
This is most non-non-heinous.
187
00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:17,840
- What are we gonna do?
- We gotta find them.
188
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,300
Talk to them.
189
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:21,220
But how?
190
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,990
Who could that be?
191
00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:52,630
How's it going, Bill and Ted?
192
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,420
Ted, it's us again.
193
00:19:56,170 --> 00:19:59,300
- How's it going, Bill?
- Not bad, Bill. And you?
194
00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:00,510
Bad.
195
00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:06,600
We came to help in your most
unfortunate situation.
196
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:15,610
How?
197
00:20:15,820 --> 00:20:17,860
Come with us. We'll show you.
198
00:20:20,070 --> 00:20:21,490
Excuse us.
199
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:28,240
- I got a weird feeling here.
- Why?
200
00:20:28,790 --> 00:20:30,080
I don't know.
201
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,960
How do we know they're really us?
202
00:20:38,380 --> 00:20:40,340
We've been through this before.
203
00:20:40,510 --> 00:20:43,300
Without the intervention
of our future selves...
204
00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:47,390
...would we have passed history?
Or met the babes?
205
00:20:48,010 --> 00:20:51,520
Or had a most excellent adventure
through time?
206
00:20:56,110 --> 00:21:00,530
Ted, if you're really me,
how many fingers am I gonna hold up?
207
00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:01,740
Three.
208
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,950
You're right!
209
00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:09,660
Let's go, guys.
We'll drive.
210
00:21:15,710 --> 00:21:17,170
- Ted.
- What?
211
00:21:17,420 --> 00:21:22,220
I think we're about to embark
on an unprecedented expedition.
212
00:21:24,260 --> 00:21:25,760
- Dude.
- What?
213
00:21:27,180 --> 00:21:30,140
I got a full-on robot chubby.
214
00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:32,520
Later, Evil Ted.
215
00:21:33,020 --> 00:21:34,270
Later.
216
00:21:48,910 --> 00:21:50,200
I'm cold.
217
00:21:52,700 --> 00:21:55,460
Hey! Can we have some heat back here?
218
00:21:55,670 --> 00:21:57,170
Shut up, Bill.
219
00:21:59,460 --> 00:22:01,670
That other you's a real jerk.
220
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:07,720
I'll be more considerate to myself
when I become him.
221
00:22:07,930 --> 00:22:09,970
He said, shut your holes!
222
00:22:12,890 --> 00:22:15,020
I got a very bad feeling.
223
00:22:49,090 --> 00:22:50,220
Out.
224
00:22:57,730 --> 00:23:01,190
So where are Joanna and Elizabeth?
225
00:23:01,650 --> 00:23:03,150
They're not here.
226
00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:07,570
We lied. Here's the truth,
we're gonna kill you now.
227
00:23:08,780 --> 00:23:10,700
- No way!
- Yes way, Ted.
228
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:15,500
- We're programmed to do it.
- And we want to do it too.
229
00:23:16,250 --> 00:23:18,160
You dick, Bill!
230
00:23:22,420 --> 00:23:26,380
- You're metal, dude!
- I know. Check it out.
231
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:37,730
Let's go.
232
00:23:38,430 --> 00:23:39,940
Bogus.
233
00:24:16,140 --> 00:24:17,600
We gotta do something.
234
00:24:18,220 --> 00:24:21,770
Dudes, even though
you're doing this...
235
00:24:22,020 --> 00:24:25,400
...we, we...
236
00:24:25,610 --> 00:24:27,110
We love you.
237
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:29,070
We love you.
238
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:32,740
Fags!
239
00:24:37,870 --> 00:24:41,080
Catch you later, Bill and Ted!
240
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,730
Yes! I totally loogied on that
good dead me!
241
00:25:04,230 --> 00:25:07,820
- We're fully, full-on evil robots.
- Yeah!
242
00:25:12,780 --> 00:25:15,490
- You wanna take the van?
- No, it's beat.
243
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:19,370
There's a Porsche.
244
00:25:21,370 --> 00:25:22,500
Let's bag it.
245
00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:25,830
Station.
246
00:26:04,330 --> 00:26:05,330
Bill...
247
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,250
...what happened?
248
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:10,880
Ted...
249
00:26:12,260 --> 00:26:14,260
...we're dead, dude.
250
00:26:17,470 --> 00:26:21,260
- No way.
- Yes way.
251
00:26:21,430 --> 00:26:22,850
Look.
252
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,320
Now what?
253
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:36,530
Who's that?
254
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,750
Who are you?
255
00:26:49,460 --> 00:26:50,460
Ted...
256
00:26:51,590 --> 00:26:54,210
...it's the Grim Reaper, dude.
257
00:26:57,010 --> 00:26:58,760
How's it hanging, Death?
258
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,390
You will come with me.
259
00:27:05,390 --> 00:27:08,640
We can't.
We gotta get back to the babes.
260
00:27:08,810 --> 00:27:11,310
Ted, we can't. We're dead, dude.
261
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:15,110
We gotta stop these evil "usses."
We gotta try.
262
00:27:17,070 --> 00:27:20,240
Excuse us, dude,
but is there any way back?
263
00:27:22,660 --> 00:27:25,700
You may challenge me to a contest.
264
00:27:26,250 --> 00:27:27,910
But if you lose...
265
00:27:28,710 --> 00:27:31,670
...you will remain here
in the afterlife...
266
00:27:32,170 --> 00:27:33,630
...forever.
267
00:27:38,300 --> 00:27:40,430
What if we win?
268
00:27:41,470 --> 00:27:45,140
No one has ever won.
269
00:27:46,390 --> 00:27:49,940
- Dude, we gotta ditch this guy.
- Definitely.
270
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:51,600
But how?
271
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,820
Melvin.
272
00:28:00,150 --> 00:28:02,660
Excuse us, dude...
273
00:28:02,820 --> 00:28:05,450
...but your shoes are untied.
274
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,170
I can't believe
we just melvined Death.
275
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,430
Let's hope he doesn't
catch up with us.
276
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,140
No way!
277
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:11,770
This isn't funny.
278
00:29:11,980 --> 00:29:13,480
Way to go, Joanna!
279
00:29:13,730 --> 00:29:16,400
I don't understand
what's come over you two.
280
00:29:16,610 --> 00:29:20,530
You see, we used to be puss-weeds,
but now we're metal.
281
00:29:20,740 --> 00:29:23,070
So get over here and put out!
282
00:29:24,740 --> 00:29:27,910
You can forget
about us playing tonight.
283
00:29:28,790 --> 00:29:29,790
Fine.
284
00:29:35,500 --> 00:29:37,790
Then I guess that's that.
285
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,010
Yeah, see you.
286
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,690
Catch you later, babes!
287
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,410
Ted, I have an idea.
288
00:30:08,620 --> 00:30:11,490
Tonight after we make
De Nomolos' speech...
289
00:30:12,250 --> 00:30:14,250
...let's waste them.
290
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:19,210
Station. Meanwhile, let's trash
this lame rathole.
291
00:30:19,420 --> 00:30:20,880
Stellar, Evil Ted!
292
00:30:27,470 --> 00:30:32,100
- Ted, we have got to stop them.
- Yeah. But how?
293
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:37,850
I hope this works.
294
00:30:37,980 --> 00:30:41,440
It worked in The Exorcist.
I and III!
295
00:30:46,570 --> 00:30:51,780
You'll move downtown so DeLoach
can take her maternity leave.
296
00:30:51,950 --> 00:30:55,250
Also, anyone interested
in moonlighting...
297
00:30:55,460 --> 00:30:58,920
...we're stepping up security
for the Battle of the Bands.
298
00:30:59,130 --> 00:31:02,380
I hear your son's band is playing.
299
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:09,220
Thanks for reminding me, sergeant.
Also, Scott Frank...
300
00:31:09,510 --> 00:31:13,890
- So, how do we do this?
- I don't know.
301
00:31:15,350 --> 00:31:17,390
Why don't you try something?
302
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:19,730
Okay.
303
00:31:37,290 --> 00:31:39,420
Okay, dudes.
304
00:31:40,420 --> 00:31:42,420
I mean, fellow policemen...
305
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,630
...my son, Ted "Theodore" Logan...
306
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,470
...and his friend
Bill Preston, Esquire...
307
00:31:48,670 --> 00:31:53,140
...have been murdered and replaced
by evil robots from the future.
308
00:31:53,300 --> 00:31:55,060
You totally did it, dude!
309
00:31:55,180 --> 00:31:57,140
I totally possessed my dad.
310
00:32:02,270 --> 00:32:03,440
Okay.
311
00:32:04,190 --> 00:32:09,280
You have to arrest these robots
so they don't ruin everything for us.
312
00:32:09,530 --> 00:32:12,030
I mean, my son and Bill.
313
00:32:12,620 --> 00:32:16,910
And, most importantly,
they don't hurt the babes.
314
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:19,540
The princesses.
315
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,170
This isn't working.
316
00:32:23,380 --> 00:32:26,000
- Back me up, dude.
- You got it, dude.
317
00:32:38,100 --> 00:32:40,770
I totally believe you, dude.
318
00:32:43,350 --> 00:32:46,770
- Doughnuts!
- Excellent!
319
00:32:46,900 --> 00:32:48,610
Savory cruller.
320
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:52,740
- I got really hungry being dead.
- Yeah!
321
00:32:54,700 --> 00:32:57,160
I don't think they believe us.
322
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,040
We have to find someone who will.
323
00:33:01,910 --> 00:33:04,580
Catch you later, cop dudes!
324
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,930
Ted, we can't go like this.
325
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:27,570
Thanks, Dad.
326
00:33:29,570 --> 00:33:33,280
- Good morning.
- Sergeant.
327
00:33:38,660 --> 00:33:39,870
Gandhi.
328
00:33:41,700 --> 00:33:43,500
Anne Boleyn.
329
00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:46,000
Aristotle.
330
00:33:46,710 --> 00:33:49,590
President Chester A. Arthur.
331
00:33:51,050 --> 00:33:52,840
Clark Gable.
332
00:33:53,550 --> 00:33:55,180
Charlemagne.
333
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:58,600
And I would like to contact Ty Cobb.
334
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,940
- Has this séance stuff ever worked?
- No.
335
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,780
But it will today, dude.
336
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,450
O great spirits
from the netherworld...
337
00:34:22,580 --> 00:34:26,540
...leave your celestial
abode and speak upon us...
338
00:34:26,750 --> 00:34:29,960
...with your life lessons.
339
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,020
I feel the spirits have arrived!
340
00:34:43,140 --> 00:34:45,060
How's it going...
341
00:34:45,310 --> 00:34:48,190
...New Age dudes?
342
00:34:48,900 --> 00:34:51,900
Spirits, can you hear me?
343
00:34:54,990 --> 00:34:57,240
And we can see down your...
344
00:34:57,490 --> 00:35:00,320
It's your mom, dude!
345
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:05,330
You're right! Move over, dude.
346
00:35:06,540 --> 00:35:09,750
Spirits, what have you to say to us?
347
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:14,630
The princesses are in trouble.
348
00:35:15,670 --> 00:35:19,260
Ted and his most
excellent friend Bill...
349
00:35:19,470 --> 00:35:21,220
...were killed!
350
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:26,350
- Listen to us.
- Beware!
351
00:35:30,940 --> 00:35:33,320
O evil spirits from Hell...
352
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,690
...I send you back into the darkness!
353
00:35:40,030 --> 00:35:44,490
- What's she doing?
- I don't know, but it's not good.
354
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:49,620
No way!
355
00:36:46,140 --> 00:36:48,980
This is a totally deep hole.
356
00:36:52,230 --> 00:36:55,400
- Now what?
- I don't know.
357
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:13,710
- You wanna play 20 Questions?
- Okay. I got one.
358
00:37:14,170 --> 00:37:15,670
Are you a mineral?
359
00:37:18,340 --> 00:37:20,130
Are you a tank?
360
00:37:21,550 --> 00:37:22,800
Good one!
361
00:37:26,890 --> 00:37:30,060
- Not bad!
- Can we do it again?
362
00:37:31,020 --> 00:37:35,440
I'm working as hard as I can!
363
00:37:35,690 --> 00:37:37,650
No way!
364
00:37:41,690 --> 00:37:45,660
This is not what I expected
this place to look like.
365
00:37:45,950 --> 00:37:49,740
We got totally lied to
by our album covers, man.
366
00:38:02,470 --> 00:38:04,010
Who's that?
367
00:38:04,430 --> 00:38:07,800
Ted, who do you think it is, dude?
368
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:14,640
How do we get his attention?
369
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,270
Sign of the devil, dude!
370
00:38:17,900 --> 00:38:21,780
- Hey, Devil dude!
- Down here!
371
00:38:21,900 --> 00:38:24,200
Down here, dude!
372
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:27,200
Two little guys!
373
00:38:27,410 --> 00:38:29,450
Big dude! Down here!
374
00:38:42,170 --> 00:38:44,050
I kind of like this.
375
00:38:46,130 --> 00:38:47,840
Excellent!
376
00:38:49,850 --> 00:38:51,760
Let's get out of here.
377
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:01,900
Ted, if I die, you can have
my Megadeth collection.
378
00:39:02,070 --> 00:39:04,530
But, dude, we're already dead!
379
00:39:05,780 --> 00:39:09,910
- Well, then they're yours, dude.
- Whoa! Thanks, dude.
380
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:32,850
How's it going, Beelzebub?
381
00:39:34,890 --> 00:39:37,270
Okay. Can we go now?
382
00:39:38,020 --> 00:39:40,520
You may go.
383
00:39:44,570 --> 00:39:46,070
Thanks, dude!
384
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:51,070
You know, you got a bad rap,
but you're actually an okay dude!
385
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:08,220
- Where are we?
- I don't know.
386
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:12,850
Maybe we should try
one of these tunnels.
387
00:40:20,730 --> 00:40:23,360
- Where are we?
- I don't know.
388
00:40:24,150 --> 00:40:26,820
Maybe we should try
one of these doors.
389
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:34,200
After you, dude.
390
00:40:42,210 --> 00:40:43,960
Now where are we?
391
00:40:47,260 --> 00:40:48,340
Who's that?
392
00:40:53,140 --> 00:40:54,430
It's Colonel Oats!
393
00:40:55,140 --> 00:40:56,760
No way!
394
00:40:57,100 --> 00:40:58,810
Gentlemen!
395
00:41:00,770 --> 00:41:03,520
Welcome to Hell.
396
00:41:03,770 --> 00:41:06,270
- No way.
- What?!
397
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,070
No way, sir?
398
00:41:08,230 --> 00:41:10,070
You two...
399
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,740
...will do whatever
I tell you to do...
400
00:41:14,990 --> 00:41:17,870
...from now on.
401
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,460
Is that clear?
402
00:41:21,540 --> 00:41:24,830
- Yes, sir, dude!
- What?!
403
00:41:25,420 --> 00:41:28,340
- Yes, dude, sir!
- What?!
404
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:30,760
Yes, sir, sir dude!
405
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:33,760
Get down and give me...
406
00:41:33,970 --> 00:41:36,140
...infinity.
407
00:41:39,350 --> 00:41:43,640
Stupid, pathetic,
craven little cretins.
408
00:41:44,770 --> 00:41:50,110
- I can't possibly do infinity pushups!
- Pitiful little morons.
409
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:53,030
- Maybe we can do girls' style.
- Jokers!
410
00:41:53,240 --> 00:41:57,660
You petty, base, bully,
bullock, bugger billies.
411
00:41:57,870 --> 00:42:01,620
You're not strong! You're silky boys!
412
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:06,330
Silk comes from the butts
of Chinese worms.
413
00:42:06,460 --> 00:42:11,760
- We gotta get out of here.
- I'll eat you up like butter cakes.
414
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:14,380
Get back here!
415
00:42:18,220 --> 00:42:19,890
- Dude.
- What?
416
00:42:20,140 --> 00:42:22,850
I think we're in
our own personal hell.
417
00:42:23,060 --> 00:42:27,190
- Let's split up.
- That way he can't get us so bad.
418
00:42:47,580 --> 00:42:49,540
What happened?
419
00:43:16,490 --> 00:43:18,280
Bogus!
420
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:50,350
Granny S. Preston, Esquire.
421
00:43:50,610 --> 00:43:52,070
No way.
422
00:44:02,410 --> 00:44:03,450
Theodore!
423
00:44:05,580 --> 00:44:07,500
You made your brother cry.
424
00:44:08,250 --> 00:44:09,670
How about...
425
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:11,710
...a kiss...
426
00:44:12,250 --> 00:44:16,840
...for your dear old granny, Bill?
427
00:44:23,720 --> 00:44:25,140
Come along.
428
00:44:32,940 --> 00:44:35,820
You stole Deacon's Easter basket.
429
00:44:36,030 --> 00:44:39,530
No way. This was 10 years ago!
430
00:44:48,370 --> 00:44:49,410
Come here!
431
00:44:54,170 --> 00:44:58,050
That was non, non, non...
Non-heinous!
432
00:44:58,260 --> 00:44:59,550
Choose...
433
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:01,010
...your...
434
00:45:01,260 --> 00:45:03,340
...eternity.
435
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:10,060
Choose your own, you fag!
436
00:45:18,820 --> 00:45:23,700
You ugly, red source of all evil!
437
00:45:30,660 --> 00:45:33,370
Hello, girls.
438
00:45:43,010 --> 00:45:44,180
- Dude.
- What?
439
00:45:44,260 --> 00:45:46,470
- Hell sucks!
- Definitely!
440
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:51,430
- You no-nosed salamanders!
- Deac's Easter basket!
441
00:45:55,100 --> 00:45:56,440
Come to Oatsie!
442
00:46:00,860 --> 00:46:03,030
I want one right on the lips!
443
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:09,620
- There's only one way out!
- Right. We gotta play the Reaper!
444
00:46:16,330 --> 00:46:18,880
Choose your game.
445
00:46:19,380 --> 00:46:21,630
But if you lose...
446
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:24,550
...you will stay here in Hell...
447
00:46:25,380 --> 00:46:27,140
...forever.
448
00:46:43,950 --> 00:46:46,280
D-1.
449
00:46:50,910 --> 00:46:51,910
Miss.
450
00:47:01,130 --> 00:47:02,460
B...
451
00:47:02,710 --> 00:47:03,840
...3.
452
00:47:05,300 --> 00:47:07,010
Miss.
453
00:47:08,720 --> 00:47:11,390
C-6.
454
00:47:15,770 --> 00:47:16,980
Hit.
455
00:47:20,860 --> 00:47:23,610
- Dude...
- I know.
456
00:47:30,410 --> 00:47:32,790
J-7.
457
00:47:33,830 --> 00:47:35,960
J-7...
458
00:47:37,500 --> 00:47:38,500
Hit.
459
00:47:40,330 --> 00:47:44,340
A hit. You have sunk my battleship.
460
00:47:45,050 --> 00:47:46,050
Excellent!
461
00:47:48,510 --> 00:47:51,680
- I knew he put it in the J's.
- Good thinking.
462
00:47:51,890 --> 00:47:53,850
You must play me again.
463
00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:58,520
- What?!
- Best two out of three.
464
00:47:58,730 --> 00:47:59,980
No way!
465
00:48:03,860 --> 00:48:05,740
Yes way.
466
00:48:14,330 --> 00:48:16,450
- What's he doing?
- I don't know.
467
00:48:27,130 --> 00:48:29,260
I believe...
468
00:48:29,470 --> 00:48:33,600
...Col. Mustard did it
in the study with the candlestick.
469
00:48:41,900 --> 00:48:45,150
Sorry, Death. You lose.
It was Professor Plum.
470
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:49,320
- I said "Plum."
- No way. You said "Mustard!"
471
00:48:49,530 --> 00:48:50,910
Can we go back now?
472
00:48:53,240 --> 00:48:54,910
Best three out of five.
473
00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:58,330
I don't believe this guy.
474
00:49:10,300 --> 00:49:12,760
- Best of seven?
- Damn right!
475
00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:19,680
Right hand, green.
476
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,610
Left hand, red.
477
00:49:30,950 --> 00:49:33,110
Right foot, green.
478
00:49:33,740 --> 00:49:35,200
Right foot...
479
00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:02,770
Well?
480
00:50:07,900 --> 00:50:09,360
I will...
481
00:50:11,240 --> 00:50:12,780
...take you back.
482
00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:24,790
- You played very well.
- Especially with your heavy robes.
483
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:26,830
Don't patronize me.
484
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:31,300
Whatever. You got a lot
to learn about sportsmanship.
485
00:50:32,420 --> 00:50:33,930
This way.
486
00:50:35,010 --> 00:50:36,930
Now we can save the babes.
487
00:50:37,140 --> 00:50:41,140
But, Bill, how will we fight
those other usses?
488
00:50:41,350 --> 00:50:45,440
They're totally stronger than us.
And way smarter.
489
00:50:45,650 --> 00:50:48,560
Plus, they already killed us once.
490
00:50:50,070 --> 00:50:51,860
One minute, duder!
491
00:50:52,240 --> 00:50:57,490
If we were good human usses and we had
to fight two evil robot usses...
492
00:50:57,700 --> 00:51:01,290
...what would we do?
- Make good robot usses?
493
00:51:01,490 --> 00:51:04,000
Good thinking, dude!
494
00:51:04,330 --> 00:51:05,420
Excuse us.
495
00:51:05,750 --> 00:51:08,460
- Excuse me, Death?
- Oh, now what?
496
00:51:08,630 --> 00:51:11,920
Could you take us to someone
who could help us?
497
00:51:12,130 --> 00:51:15,550
You have beaten me.
I am at your command.
498
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:17,050
Cool!
499
00:51:17,220 --> 00:51:18,930
This way.
500
00:51:20,430 --> 00:51:22,180
- Ted.
- What?
501
00:51:22,390 --> 00:51:24,430
Don't fear the Reaper.
502
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:27,480
I heard that.
503
00:51:39,950 --> 00:51:42,830
This is most atypical.
504
00:52:07,310 --> 00:52:08,980
Welcome to Heaven.
505
00:52:11,230 --> 00:52:13,190
I'm sure I'll enjoy it.
506
00:52:13,860 --> 00:52:15,150
Thank you.
507
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:18,530
Through there.
508
00:52:18,740 --> 00:52:20,410
Welcome to Heaven.
509
00:52:21,620 --> 00:52:23,660
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
510
00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:29,540
"Only the most serene and enlightened
souls shall gain audience."
511
00:52:29,750 --> 00:52:31,830
Dude, we're in big trouble.
512
00:52:34,300 --> 00:52:36,340
I think I have an idea.
513
00:52:45,310 --> 00:52:47,020
Wise dudes.
514
00:52:47,310 --> 00:52:49,390
Can we ask you a question?
515
00:52:49,980 --> 00:52:51,770
Right this way, please.
516
00:53:02,570 --> 00:53:06,160
We're in Heaven,
and we just mugged three people.
517
00:53:06,370 --> 00:53:09,660
We better leave
before we ruin it for everybody.
518
00:53:12,630 --> 00:53:14,460
Come on, Death.
519
00:53:15,380 --> 00:53:17,340
You look great, dude.
520
00:53:18,630 --> 00:53:20,260
You think so?
521
00:53:25,220 --> 00:53:26,760
You do.
522
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:31,310
Shut up.
523
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:34,940
- Come on, dude.
- It's not funny.
524
00:53:35,690 --> 00:53:38,110
I can't believe I'm doing this.
525
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:41,280
How did I end up in this situation?
526
00:54:00,970 --> 00:54:02,180
How's it going?
527
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:05,800
What is the meaning of life?
528
00:54:15,940 --> 00:54:20,030
Every rose has its thorn
529
00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:24,360
Just like every night has its dawn
530
00:54:24,530 --> 00:54:27,580
Just like every cowboy
531
00:54:27,700 --> 00:54:32,000
Sings a sad, sad song
532
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:40,170
Every rose has a thorn
533
00:54:42,590 --> 00:54:44,050
Don't I know you?
534
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:47,010
No.
535
00:55:29,180 --> 00:55:32,890
So, God, as if you didn't know...
536
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:38,100
...we're not the three wise people
you might have thought we were.
537
00:55:38,270 --> 00:55:42,650
We mugged three people and took
their clothes. Sorry.
538
00:55:42,860 --> 00:55:46,530
- I'm Bill S. Preston.
- I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan.
539
00:55:46,740 --> 00:55:51,410
Together, we are Wyld Stallyns!
540
00:55:53,240 --> 00:55:55,830
This lovely lady is the Grim Reaper.
541
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:59,330
He brought us when we
challenged him and won.
542
00:56:01,670 --> 00:56:06,760
First, congratulations on Earth!
It's a most excellent planet.
543
00:56:06,970 --> 00:56:11,850
- We enjoy it on a daily basis.
- Not to mention your other planets.
544
00:56:12,050 --> 00:56:16,020
Mars, Jupiter, Uranus.
545
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:22,110
But the point is, we died.
546
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:24,780
Most unfairly.
547
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:27,990
But we won the chance to come back.
548
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:31,990
We gotta construct something
to save the women we love.
549
00:56:32,660 --> 00:56:36,250
And there's not a lot of time.
So we were wondering...
550
00:56:36,500 --> 00:56:39,960
...could you help us
find somebody to help us?
551
00:56:40,710 --> 00:56:43,130
Station.
552
00:56:43,590 --> 00:56:46,260
We were thinking along the lines...
553
00:56:46,380 --> 00:56:49,720
...of maybe a scientist or something.
554
00:57:03,190 --> 00:57:04,610
Cool.
555
00:57:07,820 --> 00:57:09,650
Thanks, God.
556
00:57:09,950 --> 00:57:13,740
Yeah. You're a just and noble creator.
557
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:18,620
- We'll be going now.
- Keep up the good work.
558
00:57:18,830 --> 00:57:20,920
Catch you later, God.
559
00:57:31,220 --> 00:57:35,050
Sorry. They melvined me.
560
00:57:40,890 --> 00:57:43,940
All right, upside-down cake!
561
00:57:44,110 --> 00:57:46,900
- Hey, Evil Ted.
- What?
562
00:57:52,160 --> 00:57:53,950
We're out of dishes.
563
00:57:55,410 --> 00:57:57,370
Check this out.
564
00:58:00,790 --> 00:58:03,290
Not bad, E.T.
565
00:58:05,460 --> 00:58:06,710
Let me try.
566
00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:16,180
You totally didn't see the fan.
567
00:58:21,310 --> 00:58:24,520
Tell my body to get over here
and get me!
568
00:58:24,980 --> 00:58:27,900
That's all right. I'll get you.
569
00:58:29,530 --> 00:58:31,990
Got your head, dude.
570
00:58:34,740 --> 00:58:37,530
I'm totally gonna tackle you, dude.
571
00:58:40,830 --> 00:58:45,670
- Touchdown for Evil Ted!
- We're total headbangers.
572
00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:52,260
Come on. There you go.
573
00:58:58,180 --> 00:59:02,060
Stop wasting time.
Proceed with the plan now.
574
00:59:02,310 --> 00:59:04,020
Okay, dude.
575
00:59:05,020 --> 00:59:08,400
What do you say
we trash their relationships?
576
00:59:11,070 --> 00:59:12,610
I hate them.
577
00:59:12,820 --> 00:59:15,990
I hate the robot versions of them.
578
00:59:16,490 --> 00:59:18,410
You made us, dude.
579
00:59:25,500 --> 00:59:27,920
Looks like this is the place.
580
00:59:28,170 --> 00:59:31,050
Now all we gotta do
is find that scientist.
581
00:59:32,090 --> 00:59:35,680
- What kind of name is Station?
- I don't know.
582
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:38,220
Must be some kind of future guy.
583
00:59:43,890 --> 00:59:45,940
Okay, how many syllables?
584
00:59:48,100 --> 00:59:50,400
Is it a play or a song or...?
585
00:59:52,610 --> 00:59:54,070
It's something big.
586
00:59:55,700 --> 00:59:57,950
My money's on Einstein.
587
01:00:00,660 --> 01:00:02,200
That's Station?
588
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:06,410
Did you assume
the most brilliant scientist...
589
01:00:06,540 --> 01:00:10,380
...in the universe
would be from Earth?
590
01:00:11,420 --> 01:00:12,880
Yeah.
591
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:19,470
Movies?
592
01:00:20,430 --> 01:00:22,810
- Nine words.
- Good, Mr. Franklin.
593
01:00:23,010 --> 01:00:25,350
Fire? Cigarettes?
594
01:00:25,560 --> 01:00:28,190
- Clouds, clouds.
- Smoke?
595
01:00:29,270 --> 01:00:32,570
Butch and Sundance: The Early Years.
596
01:00:38,490 --> 01:00:41,820
- Death!
- Sorry.
597
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:48,160
Smokey and the Bandit III.
598
01:00:48,330 --> 01:00:51,210
Smokey is the bandit!
599
01:01:00,550 --> 01:01:03,430
Excuse us. Martians?
600
01:01:04,100 --> 01:01:07,480
First, my friend,
Bill and I congratulate you...
601
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:10,730
...on a well-played round of charades.
602
01:01:10,980 --> 01:01:13,190
You've been referred to us...
603
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:17,280
...as the most brilliant scientists
in the universe.
604
01:01:18,860 --> 01:01:21,910
Would you help us build
good robot usses...
605
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:25,990
...to save two princesses
from bad robot usses?
606
01:01:35,420 --> 01:01:37,630
Sounds good, Station.
607
01:01:41,300 --> 01:01:43,180
Let's rock, Death.
608
01:02:11,540 --> 01:02:14,330
- We're alive.
- Yeah.
609
01:02:14,460 --> 01:02:19,010
But I think a buzzard
was pecking at my head.
610
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:27,140
Dinner's over, worm-dude.
611
01:02:30,810 --> 01:02:32,640
You guys okay?
612
01:02:34,150 --> 01:02:35,980
Where's Death?
613
01:02:45,110 --> 01:02:46,490
You okay, dude?
614
01:02:50,290 --> 01:02:52,290
I'm fine.
615
01:02:59,300 --> 01:03:02,720
First, we go back to town
and clean up.
616
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:05,260
Second, we warn the princesses.
617
01:03:05,430 --> 01:03:09,350
Third, we buy stuff
to build good robot usses.
618
01:03:11,350 --> 01:03:13,060
Let's go.
619
01:03:16,100 --> 01:03:18,230
What? What?
620
01:03:33,040 --> 01:03:36,540
Here, kitty, kitty!
Here, kitty, kitty!
621
01:03:36,790 --> 01:03:38,460
There's one, dude!
622
01:03:40,340 --> 01:03:42,260
Just missed, dude.
623
01:03:43,090 --> 01:03:45,430
Dude, we're there.
624
01:03:45,590 --> 01:03:47,340
Okay. I got an idea.
625
01:04:08,740 --> 01:04:11,120
How's it going, lady humans?
626
01:04:39,850 --> 01:04:42,900
Okay, this is Builders Emporium...
627
01:04:43,110 --> 01:04:47,030
...a repository for electronics
and robot materials.
628
01:04:47,240 --> 01:04:50,700
Get what you need to make metal usses.
629
01:04:54,540 --> 01:04:58,710
- Ready for the big night?
- No! We're not going.
630
01:05:01,420 --> 01:05:04,500
I think you guys
should stop right there.
631
01:05:05,590 --> 01:05:08,010
Catch you later, future wife.
632
01:05:10,380 --> 01:05:11,970
Evil breath!
633
01:05:12,260 --> 01:05:13,300
Who are you?
634
01:05:13,470 --> 01:05:15,600
Well, you see...
635
01:05:27,690 --> 01:05:29,030
Come on.
636
01:05:30,950 --> 01:05:34,660
- Any luck?
- They're not at our place or theirs.
637
01:05:34,870 --> 01:05:39,330
I'll try your dad's.
Maybe they went to talk to Missy.
638
01:05:48,340 --> 01:05:49,800
Logan residence.
639
01:05:50,050 --> 01:05:53,390
Evil Bill S. Preston,
Esquire, speaking.
640
01:05:55,930 --> 01:05:59,350
It's them! They're back from the dead.
641
01:05:59,560 --> 01:06:01,770
We get to kill them again.
642
01:06:02,020 --> 01:06:03,230
Excellent!
643
01:06:19,120 --> 01:06:21,500
See you real soon.
644
01:06:25,380 --> 01:06:28,630
- But this time we're ready for you!
- Yeah!
645
01:06:32,260 --> 01:06:34,720
We can be ready for them too.
646
01:06:34,970 --> 01:06:38,010
Good luck getting
in the concert, losers!
647
01:06:44,690 --> 01:06:48,360
- Initiate the final plan.
- You got it, great one.
648
01:06:49,980 --> 01:06:52,450
Do not fail me.
649
01:06:53,450 --> 01:06:55,030
Metallic buffoons.
650
01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:04,250
- That other me is a dick.
- Yeah.
651
01:07:06,380 --> 01:07:09,340
I hope the Stations
know what they're doing.
652
01:07:28,820 --> 01:07:31,280
Station! What are you doing?
653
01:07:33,440 --> 01:07:37,240
Dudes! This is no time
to be playing games!
654
01:09:57,340 --> 01:09:59,340
That one's me, right?
655
01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:04,470
Not bad.
656
01:10:04,680 --> 01:10:07,270
How's it going, Good Robot Bill?
657
01:10:08,100 --> 01:10:09,980
How's it doing?
658
01:10:21,950 --> 01:10:23,780
Kate Axelrod for KJM...
659
01:10:23,990 --> 01:10:27,910
... reporting live from
the San Dimas Auditorium.
660
01:10:28,120 --> 01:10:31,250
We're rocking at
the Battle of the Bands.
661
01:10:31,460 --> 01:10:34,880
So stay tuned and hold tight
until we find out...
662
01:10:35,130 --> 01:10:38,340
... who will be your winner.
663
01:10:48,390 --> 01:10:49,810
Ready? You're up.
664
01:10:50,020 --> 01:10:51,430
Where are the girls?
665
01:10:51,600 --> 01:10:55,980
- Hanging from the rafters.
- We'll kill them at the finale.
666
01:10:56,860 --> 01:10:58,860
Good luck, gentlemen.
667
01:11:05,530 --> 01:11:07,080
Check it out.
668
01:11:09,120 --> 01:11:10,540
Not bad.
669
01:11:36,150 --> 01:11:39,440
Let's hear it for Primus!
670
01:12:17,150 --> 01:12:19,730
- Are they ready?
- Station.
671
01:12:19,940 --> 01:12:21,820
Excellent work, dude.
672
01:12:21,940 --> 01:12:26,030
- What about me? I made the wigs.
- Okay, Death.
673
01:12:26,280 --> 01:12:29,620
I helped do the shopping.
I pushed the cart.
674
01:12:29,700 --> 01:12:33,040
- Do they work like we asked?
- Station.
675
01:12:36,460 --> 01:12:39,580
You're a most excellent scientist.
676
01:12:40,250 --> 01:12:43,840
Plus, you got an excellently huge
Martian butt.
677
01:12:49,390 --> 01:12:52,930
Feel free to split
in two parts again and relax.
678
01:12:53,140 --> 01:12:57,480
Don't overlook my butt.
I work out all the time.
679
01:12:57,690 --> 01:13:00,730
And reaping burns a lot of calories.
680
01:13:05,320 --> 01:13:10,240
Ready to take on those evil usses
and save the babes?
681
01:13:11,910 --> 01:13:15,870
Fight evil usses. Save the babes.
682
01:13:16,080 --> 01:13:18,830
- Ready, Bill?
- Ready, Ted.
683
01:13:20,120 --> 01:13:21,960
Let's go get 'em.
684
01:13:22,170 --> 01:13:24,920
And now, the last band of the evening.
685
01:13:25,130 --> 01:13:27,920
Wyld Stallyns!
686
01:13:38,600 --> 01:13:40,980
How's it going, worms?
687
01:13:41,480 --> 01:13:44,190
I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire!
688
01:13:44,440 --> 01:13:47,070
And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan!
689
01:13:47,320 --> 01:13:52,030
Together, we are Wyld Stallyns!
690
01:13:53,620 --> 01:13:55,740
Hold it right there!
691
01:13:58,830 --> 01:14:01,120
We're Wyld Stallyns!
692
01:14:01,370 --> 01:14:05,210
No, dudes. We're Wyld Stallyns!
693
01:14:07,840 --> 01:14:11,930
You totally killed us,
you evil metal dickweeds!
694
01:14:12,180 --> 01:14:14,720
Yeah, and we're gonna do it again!
695
01:14:14,930 --> 01:14:18,770
Plus, we're gonna totally
kill your girlfriends.
696
01:14:26,900 --> 01:14:30,320
Don't worry, babes! We'll save you.
697
01:14:32,990 --> 01:14:36,530
Everybody, say hello
to Station's creation!
698
01:14:36,830 --> 01:14:39,790
Good Robot Bill and Ted!
699
01:14:53,260 --> 01:14:55,260
We may have met our match.
700
01:14:55,600 --> 01:14:58,640
Kudos to you, good human usses.
701
01:15:00,520 --> 01:15:04,980
- Catch you later, Bill and Ted!
- Catch you later, Bill and Ted!
702
01:15:41,350 --> 01:15:43,600
- Elizabeth!
- Theodore!
703
01:15:44,140 --> 01:15:46,980
- Joanna!
- William!
704
01:16:00,030 --> 01:16:01,830
Who is that?
705
01:16:19,430 --> 01:16:20,470
Who are you?
706
01:16:21,640 --> 01:16:23,350
Who am I?
707
01:16:30,310 --> 01:16:33,030
I am De Nomolos.
708
01:16:34,070 --> 01:16:36,030
I am their master.
709
01:16:37,610 --> 01:16:41,030
And I must see to it that you die.
710
01:16:43,750 --> 01:16:45,460
But first...
711
01:17:10,860 --> 01:17:15,940
We are now transmitting on every
channel throughout the world.
712
01:17:16,440 --> 01:17:18,320
My word!
713
01:17:22,870 --> 01:17:26,080
I want the whole universe
to behold this...
714
01:17:26,290 --> 01:17:28,960
... transfer of power.
715
01:17:30,370 --> 01:17:33,420
No longer will our future society...
716
01:17:33,630 --> 01:17:36,800
... be based on
the ideas and the music...
717
01:17:37,050 --> 01:17:39,510
... of these two fools!
718
01:17:42,100 --> 01:17:45,100
They will be based on my ideas...
719
01:17:47,060 --> 01:17:49,520
...and my ideas alone!
720
01:17:50,900 --> 01:17:53,900
How do we get out of this?
There's no time.
721
01:17:54,020 --> 01:17:57,820
We do. After we get away
from this guy...
722
01:17:57,990 --> 01:18:03,070
...we time-travel back and set up
the things we need to get him now.
723
01:18:03,240 --> 01:18:05,160
Yeah, like what?
724
01:18:05,830 --> 01:18:07,830
Like a sandbag.
725
01:18:13,710 --> 01:18:15,090
Excellent!
726
01:18:15,290 --> 01:18:17,380
Then we'll get a cage.
727
01:18:24,890 --> 01:18:26,430
My friends.
728
01:18:27,100 --> 01:18:29,560
I too can play the time game.
729
01:18:29,770 --> 01:18:33,020
If you do that,
once I have vanquished you...
730
01:18:33,270 --> 01:18:37,360
...I'll go back and set up this key.
731
01:18:47,830 --> 01:18:50,540
And another gun.
732
01:19:00,340 --> 01:19:04,220
Right. Only there's one thing
you didn't think of.
733
01:19:04,470 --> 01:19:07,640
Only the winners can go back
and set things up.
734
01:19:07,850 --> 01:19:09,850
And that's gonna be us.
735
01:19:10,060 --> 01:19:14,100
We set up the key,
and we set up the gun.
736
01:19:16,690 --> 01:19:18,650
Excuse me.
737
01:19:18,860 --> 01:19:21,820
Your shoelaces are untied.
738
01:19:28,660 --> 01:19:29,910
Melvined.
739
01:19:43,840 --> 01:19:45,430
You're under arrest.
740
01:19:45,550 --> 01:19:47,350
Way to go, Dad!
741
01:19:52,140 --> 01:19:54,020
Book him, Danno.
742
01:20:01,070 --> 01:20:02,690
Good job, Death.
743
01:20:07,950 --> 01:20:09,660
Who was that guy?
744
01:20:09,870 --> 01:20:13,000
I can answer that question.
745
01:20:13,330 --> 01:20:15,580
Ms. Wardroe, thanks for the help.
746
01:20:16,250 --> 01:20:18,330
We definitely...
747
01:20:19,040 --> 01:20:21,050
Take it off, baby!
748
01:20:29,550 --> 01:20:31,100
Rufus!
749
01:20:31,310 --> 01:20:32,600
When did you get here?
750
01:20:32,970 --> 01:20:35,180
Just in time for your audition.
751
01:20:35,520 --> 01:20:38,860
So you were Ms. Wardroe all along.
752
01:20:39,730 --> 01:20:42,730
Would anyone else have let you
in this contest?
753
01:20:46,740 --> 01:20:49,990
That was Chuck De Nomolos,
my old gym teacher.
754
01:20:50,200 --> 01:20:54,700
And, by the way, sit-up champion
of the 27th century.
755
01:20:54,870 --> 01:20:59,420
And now, gentlemen, I believe
the stage belongs to you.
756
01:20:59,580 --> 01:21:00,960
Thanks, Rufus.
757
01:21:14,100 --> 01:21:16,730
Dude, we still don't know how to play.
758
01:21:17,230 --> 01:21:19,400
Maybe we ought to get good.
759
01:21:19,650 --> 01:21:20,860
How?
760
01:21:43,130 --> 01:21:47,300
That was a fast 16 months
of intensive guitar training.
761
01:21:48,510 --> 01:21:51,720
Except for the two-week
medieval honeymoon.
762
01:21:53,680 --> 01:21:56,100
Hello, San Dimas!
763
01:21:57,430 --> 01:21:59,770
Let me introduce you
to a little friend.
764
01:22:00,060 --> 01:22:01,730
This is little Ted.
765
01:22:02,310 --> 01:22:04,690
Hello, little Ted!
766
01:22:04,900 --> 01:22:06,820
This is little Bill.
767
01:22:10,320 --> 01:22:13,490
Now for the rest of our band.
768
01:22:16,740 --> 01:22:21,500
On conga and bongos, proof that
you can't tell a book by its cover...
769
01:22:21,750 --> 01:22:24,420
...the dude who can make one word
mean anything...
770
01:22:24,670 --> 01:22:26,590
...Station!
771
01:22:31,680 --> 01:22:33,220
Our backup dancers...
772
01:22:33,430 --> 01:22:36,140
...Station's most bodacious
creations...
773
01:22:36,310 --> 01:22:39,100
...the Good Robot Usses!
774
01:22:45,480 --> 01:22:46,650
And over here...
775
01:22:46,900 --> 01:22:49,820
...our bass player,
the Duke of Spooks...
776
01:22:50,070 --> 01:22:52,780
...the Doc of Shocks,
the Man With No Tan...
777
01:22:52,990 --> 01:22:55,870
...please say hello
to Death himself...
778
01:22:56,120 --> 01:22:57,870
...the Grim Reaper!
779
01:23:05,670 --> 01:23:08,340
You might be a king
Or a little street sweeper
780
01:23:08,500 --> 01:23:11,920
But sooner or later
You dance with the Reaper
781
01:23:16,800 --> 01:23:19,390
Get down with your bad self!
782
01:23:25,980 --> 01:23:28,650
I love show business.
783
01:23:29,860 --> 01:23:31,690
Ladies and gentlemen...
784
01:23:32,320 --> 01:23:34,410
...we've been to the past.
785
01:23:34,740 --> 01:23:36,620
We've been to the future.
786
01:23:36,990 --> 01:23:39,410
We've been all around the afterlife.
787
01:23:39,990 --> 01:23:41,450
And you know...
788
01:23:43,540 --> 01:23:45,500
The best place to be...
789
01:23:48,420 --> 01:23:49,840
...is here.
790
01:23:50,840 --> 01:23:52,800
And the best time to be...
791
01:23:53,300 --> 01:23:54,760
...is now.
792
01:24:00,600 --> 01:24:03,310
And all we can say is...
793
01:24:05,270 --> 01:24:06,520
...let's rock!
794
01:24:07,730 --> 01:24:09,320
One! Two!
795
01:24:09,520 --> 01:24:12,280
One, two, three, four!
796
01:25:36,690 --> 01:25:39,490
Right good! Right good!
797
01:28:12,060 --> 01:28:14,020
You are go, Stallyn!
798
01:28:15,020 --> 01:28:17,360
Come home soon. We'll miss you.55309
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