All language subtitles for Watch Error in the Ménage (2014) - Free Movies - Tubi

(car door slamming)

(footsteps thumping)

(keys jangling)

- What were you thinking?

God damn it.

You're so stupid.

I should have left it alone,

but I kept pushing the issue.

Tiff.

- What are you doing?

- I'm getting the rest of my things.

I know you don't want me here.

- Whatever gave you that impression?

- Are you serious?

After everything that just
happened at the restaurant?

- And who do we have to blame for that?

- You always remind
me, that's why I'm leaving.

- [Tiffany] Do you love me?

- What?

- It's a simple question, do you love me?

- Of course.

I would do anything for you.

- Anything?

- Anything.

- Okay, that's all I wanted to know,

'cause I've come to
understand that relationships

are all about give and take,

and I know I've been unfair to you, Nick,

and that's why you did what you did.

(shushing)

It's okay.

You're the one who deserves the apology,

and I think I know how
to make it up to you.

- Hi, Nick.

- Why's she here?

- [Tiffany] Oh, I think you know.

- I've thought about
this for the longest time.

I never actually thought I would happen.

- God, Nick, you're shaking.

It's like our first time.

Are you nervous?

(heavy breathing)

Me too.

What's wrong, you okay?

Baby,

Nick,

baby, don't do this to me, Nick!

Are you okay?

Nick?

Nick!

Why are you just standing there, help me!

Nick, breathe, breathe.

Nick, come on, baby. (crying)

Nick, Nick?

(groaning)

Why the hell did you just do that?

- He's diabetic, I thought
he needed his insulin shot.

- An insulin shot isn't going to stop him

from having a heart attack!

(gasping)

- Maybe it just takes a while
for the medicine to kick in.

- It doesn't work like that, moron!

Where's my purse, I need my phone.

- He could be faking it,

he was always doing that with me.

(raspberry rumbling)

- Are you crazy?

Stop!

- He'd dead.

He's really dead.

Who are you calling?

- The police.

- You can't do that.

- [Tiffany] My phone!

- The police are the last
people we wanna call.

- What are we gonna do about this?

- Fuck your phone,
you can't call the police.

We'll go to jail for sure.

I need a fucking cigarette.

- How do you figure that?
We have nothing to hide,

we'll tell 'em the truth.

- Just think about it for a minute.

He's already been dead a little while.

They'll wonder why didn't
we call them in the first place.

Plus, they'll know that we
tampered with the body.

- If you hadn't gone
and tenderized his chest,

we might have been fine.

- Never mind that,
you're an accomplice now,

and we need to figure out
what to do with his body.

(suspenseful music)

How do you feel about chopping him up?

- Are you serious?

- Sure, yeah.

We chop him into little chunks, and either,

a, put him some garbage bags,

or b, feed him to some wild animals.

Personally, I'd go b.

- [Tiffany] That's disgusting.

- It's a little inhumane, sure,

but they're less likely
to find a trace that way.

- I, I can't do it.

- We could dump it in the ocean.

- [Tiffany] Do you have a boat?

- [Angelica] No, I was hoping you did.

- [Tiffany] I wish.

They're a pain in the ass
to keep up with anyway.

- Yeah, there's a lot of
maintenance required,

that's for sure.

What if we burn down the house,

make it look like an accident.

- We're not burning down my house.

And speaking of which,
put out that cigarette,

you're giving me a damn headache.

What if we just leave him
and let someone else find him?

- Because that doesn't make any sense.

Why wouldn't you be the one

to find him in your own home?

Besides, do you know how cruel that sounds?

Just leave him here to rot
and stink up the neighborhood?

You may not have morals, Tiffany, but I do.

- Okay, fine, do you
have any other ideas then,

since you're the expert?

- No.

But I know someone who does.

Don't even think about grabbing
this out of my hand either,

I just got it.

(phone beeps)

Evie, where can I hide a dead body?

- You've gotta be kidding me.

(phone beeps)

- [Evie] What kind of
place are you looking for,

reservoirs, dumps,
cremation services, swamps,

metal foundries, funeral
services, or mines?

(phone beeps)

- You know, none of this
shit would have happened

if it weren't for you.

- And if it weren't for me,

we'd both still be living a lie.

- I think I would have preferred it.

- Oh, stop complaining.

You thought it was a good idea too.

- And it was up until recently,

but my point is none of this
shit would have happened

if you hadn't walked through that door

with that dumb looking grin on your face.

(calming guitar music)

- Bald pussy, please.

- One bald, are you sure?

- [Tiffany] I know what I want.

- Well, okay, one bald coming up.

- Excuse me, what
exactly is in a bald pussy?

- It's melon liqueur,
lime juice, lime vodka,

triple sec, blueberry
schnapps, and a splash of 7 Up.

- So how have you been, Tiffany?

- Good, enjoying a bit of me time

now that I have the house to myself.

- Boyfriend's out of town again?

- Yep, and I just wrapped a major project,

so I finally have some
time to clear my head.

A little pampering didn't hurt either.

- Right.

- Today, I had my hair and nails done,

did some shopping, bought this cute dress,

and then I thought, "How
can I top off the day?"

- Let me guess, salmon.

- (laughing) You're the best, Tristan.

- (laughing) Let me
go put that in right now.

- [Tiffany] Thanks.

- I knew you were not going to like that.

(laughing)

I was surprised you ordered it.

- I don't know what I was thinking either.

Can I send this back?

- Yeah, the usual chardonnay instead?

- [Tiffany] Yes, thank you.

- Have you tried the ahi?

- I have, it's amazing.

- I'll have to try the salmon next time.

Did you say that had blueberry in it?

- I did, wanna try?

- Sure.

So, you come here often?

- Well, if it was up to my boyfriend,

we'd be here every day.

- Mine's the same way.

Mm, not bad.

Coincidentally, we were sitting

right here on our very first date.

That's when I met you, right, Tristan?

- Yeah, I remember.

- First time we ate here was

at the other end of the counter there.

Tristan, I can't believe
it's not busy right now.

Usually this place is packed.

- It's still early, you know, but

I have a feeling it's gonna
be an interesting evening.

Hey, I'm gonna grab some limes,

I'll be right back.

- So, what do you do?

I'm Angelica, by the way.

- Tiffany, nice to meet you.

I'm a graphic artist slash webmaster.

- So you make logos and stuff?

- Sometimes.

The project I just wrapped required me

to develop the layout of a children's book,

and before that, I designed an online store

that sold skater shirts.

So I do whatever.

How about yourself?

- I'm a concierge at the
Marriott near the airport.

- I bet the phones
there ring non-stop, huh?

- They do, it gets so annoying.

But I do get to meet
some interesting people,

like my boyfriend for instance.

Oh, and check this out,
about five months ago,

this guy came in with a
box of puppy chihuahuas.

I bought one.

Look at that stupid face
and tell me he isn't cute.

- Oh my God, he's adorable.

Well, now I have to show you my dog.

He's more ugly cute though.

He's a Yorkie and I think Shih Tzu mix,

I'm not really sure.

To me, he looks like a fricking Ewok.

- Oh, that is awesome.

Look at his little underbite.

- Yeah, see what I mean?

Don't let that face fool you, though,

he's old, deaf, and dumb.

Still love him anyway though.

- How could you not?

What gets me is that no matter what,

he'll still love me regardless.

I don't know what I'd do without him.

- They're something special.

- Wish I could say the
same about my boyfriend.

- Guy problems?

- Not really, it's just we haven't

been on the same page lately.

- I can relate.

How long have you two been together?

- About two months.

And you?

- [Tiffany] Almost two years.

- [Angelica] So is your boyfriend like

a businessman or something?

- He's a construction worker,

and you know, it's hard
to find work around town,

so occasionally, he has to travel.

- Oh, that sucks.

- It does, it can definitely
put stress on the relationship.

- I know what you're talking about.

My boyfriend is flying out tomorrow,

and you better believe
I'm taking full advantage

of our last few hours together,

if you know what I mean.

- Girl, I don't blame you.

Were you expecting him soon?

I'm not in his seat, am I?

- Oh no, you're good there.

He's actually here now, hey baby.

- Un-fricking-believable.

You're supposed to be in Michigan.

- You should be working on your book.

Baby, I know this looks bad,

but I can explain, all right?

- Out of all the places
you could have taken her to,

you bring her to our restaurant?

- You two know each other?

- Where do you go, Nicholas?

Did you even get on the plane?

Never mind, I answered my own question.

- [Angelica] Hold on a second.

- [Tiffany] Why couldn't you
have done it in another state?

- Because flying isn't
cheap and work's been slow.

- [Tiffany] But I've seen the itineraries

and the work orders.

- I only let you see them long enough

before you noticed they were fake.

- Hello?

- You made them?

- Remember those Photoshop lessons?

Tiffany, you've gotta understand
where I'm coming from.

Angelica means nothing to me.

She's just a fling that's
willing to do what you won't.

(gasping)

(applause)

- [Tiffany] As mad as I was, I felt bad

when he called you out like that.

- I wish I could have done more.

- [Angelica Voiceover]
And it was right then

that I noticed the gears
turning in your little noggin.

- Okay, whatever, what I wanna know is

what made him think you were into it.

- I told him I kissed a
couple of my girlfriends

when I was drunk.

- [Tiffany] Well, that
didn't take much convincing.

- Wanna make out?

- No!

So what do we do with him?

- There's a huge wooded
area out to the west.

Got any shovels?

(tense music)

- We should probably wait
until night time to do this,

don't you think?

- So we can go out into the woods

when it's all dark and scary,

and get eaten alive by bugs
and who knows what else?

No thank you.

We'll do it now and be done with it.

Damn it!

- Wanna borrow some clothes?

- That'd be nice.

- [Tiffany] Here.

- Whose car are we taking?

- [Tiffany] We'll take his
since it's in the garage.

- I thought his was
the one on the driveway.

Well, no sense in both
of us wasting our gas.

Did you unlock the backseat doors?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

You ready?

- No.

I think I'm gonna throw up.

- Well, it looks like
I'm stronger than you,

so I'll take the upper
body, you go for the legs.

(buzzing)

(dripping)

I can't believe you
forgot to open this door.

I'm about to bust a tit
trying to hold him up.

- [Tiffany] You're so dramatic.

- [Angelica] Just get the door open!

- [Tiffany] I almost
got it, will you relax?

- Let me go first, it'll
be easier to put him.

Good thing you have a garage.

It would have been weird
doing this in the driveway.

Oh God, for a construction worker,

he sure pushes something shitty.

- Yeah, he likes to run it into the ground.

- That's funny, every time I saw him,

we'd be in something different.

Oo, sorry.

You know, I used to be
able to lift him by myself.

I'm out of shape.

- I don't know how you can
be so nonchalant right now,

this is fucked up.

- Maybe it's a sign from God, you know?

- [Tiffany] Don't start that.

- Why not, it makes perfect sense.

We were the victims in all this.

Maybe he was supposed to die.

Do you ever think that
this is his punishment?

- Well, what if it's ours?

- Somebody's.

Let's go, he's starting to fester.

(insects chirping)

- [Tiffany] Do you
think this is far enough?

- Should be.

Okay.

I'll go to the car, get the shovels.

In the meantime, look for
a soft spot on the ground.

Okay?

- Okay.

(tense music)

I'm so sorry, Nick.

I never meant for any of this to happen.

(suspenseful music)

(distant talking)

- [Dog Walker] Come on, Kado, let's go.

- Shit.

(groaning)

- [Dog Walker] Is
everything okay over here?

- Everything's fine, sir.

My boyfriend's just taking a nap.

- In the middle of the woods?

- We like to think
nature helps lift the spirit.

- Looks like it lifted his
pants off just as well.

Where are they?

What's wrong with him?

Why isn't he waking up?

- He's a deep sleeper.

- Are you two on drugs or on dope?

- No sir, I assure you, everything's fine.

You can go ahead and leave, we're okay.

- No, I don't like this.

I'm calling the police.

What's going on here ain't right.

This boy needs medical attention.

- [Tiffany] It's really not necessary, sir.

Just leave.

- [Operator] 911, what's your emergency?

- Hello?

Yes, I'd like to report
an incident here at the...

(thudding)

- [Angelica] Get!

Get!

Ah!

Get.

(screaming)

- [Tiffany] Coming out here
at this time was a mistake.

- [Operator] Hello, sir, are you there?

We're sending someone out to your loca...

- What is with you and
breaking phones anyway?

- They could use the
phone to trace our location.

We have to get out of here right now.

- What about him, is he okay?

Not cool, not cool.

- [Angelica] You have to calm down,

everything's gonna be okay.

- I don't wanna kill
anyone else, you got that?

- We're not gonna kill
anyone else, all right?

But I need you to stay focused.

We have to take both of them with us.

- [Tiffany] Why?

If the police are coming,
let's let them deal with this.

- We can't do that.

Someone from that group saw me,

and if they find dead bodies out here,

they're gonna pin it back on me,

and I am not taking the fall by myself.

- I hate you right now.

- That's fine.

You'll thank me later.

- [Tiffany] My plan was supposed to be

much simpler than this.

- [Angelica] What did you have in mind?

- We create a website exposing Nick

for the scumbag he is, right?

We'll tell it all, and on the homepage,

we'll have like, a huge,
embarrassing photo of him.

- I like it, I'll promote
the shit out of it, too.

Make sure everybody sees it.

Except we have to get, like,

a picture of him in his
underwear or something,

he's gotta look like a pervert.

- Yeah, how do we go about that?

- Why don't you go talk to him?

- Me, go over there?

I can't do that.

- You can do whatever you want.

I think it's safe to say you're single now.

- Well, if he's interested, he'll come.

- Girl, you have to seize the opportunity

when it's presented to you.

- That goes both ways.

- Whatever.

- I'm not gonna lie, I've always wondered

what it would be like
to be with a black guy.

- I'll save you the trouble, it hurts.

I got it.

We go together, and
give Nick what he wants.

- Which is?

- You occupy him, while I snap the photo.

- I like where this is going.

- And maybe we could Photoshop it too,

like, I don't know, like put
in a giant dildo or something,

like going up his butt.

Oh, I've got handcuffs in my car,

we can make him look like an S&M freak.

- Let's do it.

- Where are we going?

Hey, what do I do from here?

- I don't know, that's what
I'm trying to figure out.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you.

I'm just annoyed at our situation.

- Tell me about it.

What were you looking up?

The sort of places we
could burn the bodies,

since we couldn't bury them.

- You mean like, at a funeral home?

- Yeah, but less
involving, like a junkyard.

Some place with an incinerator.

It's too bad we're not both chemists.

- Jesse, Jesse, it's time to cook!

- [Together] Jesse!

- Yep, if I was Walter White right now,

I would melt the bodies and
we wouldn't have a problem.

- Except you'd have lung cancer.

- Everyone's gotta die
of something eventually.

Until then, I'll enjoy
life's little pleasures.

- Well, if you say so.

Can I ask you something personal?

- [Angelica] Sure, why not?

- When he asked you,
how did it make you feel?

- I was definitely taken aback.

I mean, how do you
answer something like that?

In all fairness though,

I'm pretty sure everyone
has thought about it

at some point in their life.

I actually considered it,

if it meant keeping him around.

I did love him.

And who knows, for all I know,

I might-a liked it.

But to answer your question,

initially I did feel less worthy.

What about you?

(toilet flushing)

- Notice anything different in the garage?

Tiffany, you gonna answer the question?

- What was that?

- I took the washer and dryer

to that recycling center you told me about.

- Yes, I noticed.

Thank you for doing that.

Did you toss out those
crummy golf clubs too?

- Nah, I couldn't part with them.

- How am I supposed to buy
new ones for your birthday then

if you didn't get rod of them?

So they're still in your trunk?

- Yeah.

You don't hear me complaining about

your prehistoric art computer.

- Fair enough.

What happened to your pen?

- [Nick] I forgot to fill the prescription.

- You should have told me,

I would have taken care of it for you.

- It's all good.

You wanna hear something fucked up though?

On my way back from U-Haul,

I get pulled over by the cops

right there at the light
to turn on our street.

- Ah, that sucks.

Did you get a ticket?

- For 150 bucks.

- [Tiffany] For what?

- [Nick] I have a tail light that's out.

- [Tiffany] 150 for that?

Make sure you get it fixed.

- I know.

Is that the book you're
doing illustrations for?

- Yeah, it's really good, too.

- What's it about?

- It's like a fantasy story,

with elves and demons and kingdoms

all battling against each other.

Apparently, everything in this world

revolves around some
sort of spiritual triangle.

I'm hooked.

- I was already on board as soon

as you said fantasy and demons.

And it's a kids' book?

- I guess you could
say it's more for teens.

Anyway, I need to read
as much as this tonight

so I can start sketching tomorrow.

- How many sketches do
you think you have to do?

- There's 24 chapters, so I was probably

gonna do at least that many.

Find out for sure when I talk to Mel.

- Is she the author?

- Yeah, he is.

- Oh, it's a he?

- Is that a problem?

'Cause he's very insistent
that I work at his studio

for inspiration and research.

The only downside is, it
means a really quick turnaround,

so things are about to
get really crazy for me.

Not only do I first have to provide

rough sketches and concepts,

but then I have to make
full color renderings,

and all that's due in a
little over two months.

- Looks like I won't be
seeing you ever again.

- Oh, come on, it's not like that.

I know I'll be busy, but the good news is

that I get another job.

- Definitely.

I know you'll create some amazing work.

I was just giving you a hard time.

- Thanks, babe.

- But seriously, though,

the time you're gone is gonna suck.

- It'll be all right.

- Babe, can I ask you a question?

- Of course, you can ask
me whatever you want,

as long as it doesn't make me angry.

- In that case, I'll drop it.

- I'm kidding.

What's on your mind, Nicholas?

- I know this is gonna seem pretty random,

but I've been thinking
about this for a long time.

We've been together for a while now,

and talked about marriage.

The idea of a Mrs.
Sodemieter is pretty cool.

But I feel for us to really move forward,

we need to explore any desires

before we make a permanent commitment.

- Nick, what the hell
are you talking about?

- How would you feel about a threesome?

- Hypothetically?

Like, it's the end of the world

and nobody gives a shit about anything?

- I was thinking more literal.

- You're joking.

Right?

- Should I be?

- You should.

How long have you been thinking about this?

What put the idea into your head

that I would be into something like that?

- I don't know.

To be perfectly honest,
I've been thinking about it

before we were even together.

- Well, you should have
gotten it out of your system

before you met me, then.

God Nick, next thing I know,

you'll start wanting me
to shove things up your ass.

Even if I was interested,
what were you thinking?

What, me and another girl or another guy?

- Another girl, of course.

I can't have another guy plowing you.

That'd be like tainting your body.

- Oh, I get it, it's okay for you, right?

It doesn't matter what I feel.

- Yes it does.

I just wanted us to experience something

unique before we settle.

- Damn, Nick, you're really trying to

dig your own grave here, aren't you?

- That's not what I meant.

I think what we have is great.

It's just I think we should try something

that we may never get to do again.

- What we have isn't enough?

How do you see this being
good for our relationship?

- I believe since we're being
so open with each other,

I can't see how it wouldn't
bring us closer together.

- You're serious right now.

You're serious, aren't you?

- Yeah.

- Unbelievable.

- [Nick] Where are you going?

- [Tiffany] To the other bedroom.

I wanna escape to another world right now.

- Are you mad at me?

So then you'll sleep on it?

(horn honking)

- Are you gonna go?

I was getting worried there for a minute.

- Sorry.

- I'll tell you what,

our boy Nick sure did have
a way with words, didn't he?

Yes you did, yes you did.

- Could you not do that?

- What's got your panties in a bunch?

I was just trying to lighten the mood

while we look for a new spot.

- I think I know a place where we can go,

and if we hurry, we can
make it before they close.

- Sweet.

(tense music)

A recycling center, not bad.

- We'll see.

- Oh, that's just great.

- Doesn't look like
we'll be going in there.

- Why not?

- How are we gonna avoid him?

And look behind the booth.

- I guarantee you that's just for show.

Look how old it is.

- You're really willing to chance that?

- At this point, I don't
see another option.

Plus, there's no way that camera

will see them in the back seat.

Once we get past the guard, we'll be fine.

- Yeah, until he decides to
step away from his cubby hole,

and spots us hauling
dead bodies out of the car.

- Good point.

One of us will just have
to keep him distracted,

while the other deals with the bodies.

- What the hell am I
supposed to say to him?

- I don't know, flirt
with him or something?

- No way.

I'm not comfortable doing that.

- No offense, but I'm starting to see why

Nick went looking elsewhere.

- Bitch.

- I'm just calling it like I see it.

You're too uptight, you need
to embrace your sexuality.

- It's not me.

- At this point, you don't
have another choice,

so get your sexy on.

- All right, fine, well, where
are you gonna hide them?

This place is wide open.

- [Angelica] We'll pull up
to that scrap pile over there

and just hide 'em in it.

- What if he sees you?

- Will you just quit with that already?

Just focus on keeping him busy.

Now let's go, before it's too late.

- What are you dropping off?

- We've got some metal things.

- One would assume
that if you're here, toots.

Whaddaya got?

- We're unloading some...

- We have a bunch of old golf clubs

in the trunk that we're
trying to get rid of.

- Pop your trunk.

All right ladies, drive your
car near that pile over there.

Be careful, okay?

If you need any help, don't be bashful.

- Thank you.

(tense music)

- Quick thinking on the golf clubs.

How are you feeling?

- You know, just because you have fat arms

doesn't mean you're
automatically stronger than I am.

- Are we really gonna
argue about this right now?

- No, I got it.

Just wanted you to know that.

(tense music)

Excuse me sir, hi.

- Yeah?

How can I help you?

- I was wondering if you by any chance

schedule pick ups?

I have a few old appliances
I need to get rid of,

but I don't have a truck.

- Sorry, but we don't offer
those kinds of services.

Maybe I could help you with
some other kind of business.

- Aren't you forward.

- Yeah, that's the way it is, sugar tits.

I see what I like, I go for it.

Sometimes, I win.

- That's, that's bold.

- You bet your ass, it is.

- [Tiffany] And I like that in a man.

- Oh, good.

- Is there somewhere more private

that we can go to
continue this conversation?

- That's what I'm talking about.

Follow me, little lady.

Is your friend gonna be okay by herself?

Will she come along too?

- Oh, no, she'll be fine.

This won't take long anyway.

- You're trying to make
me fall for you, huh?

Let's go.

- Attagirl.

Looks like you're first, buddy.

- Make yourself comfortable.

- So you must be pretty
smart at figuring out

which types of metals are valuable, huh?

- All metals are precious, sweet cheeks.

- [Tiffany] So is this just a job for you,

or a hobby, or...

- It's just a job.

I'm into other things.

- Oh yeah?

Like what?

- Necrophilia.

- What's that?

(groaning)

- Didn't I tell you that sometimes I win?

(laughter)

Just don't tell anyone I cheated.

- Maybe just a little further back.

(groaning)

- [Guard] Bitch!

(groaning)

(tense music)

- Angelica!

- There we go, nice and comfy.

- [Tiffany] Angelica!

Angelica, get the car!

(suspenseful music)

(screaming) (gunshots banging)

(screaming)

- Fuck!

Fuck!

(screaming)

Fuck, fuck!

- Hey.

How long were you planning on staying up?

- I don't know.

I need to have these
drawings finished by tonight

if I want to stay on schedule.

- Don't kill yourself over this.

- Mel's been pushing
me hard to get it done.

- No shit.

He's seen you more than I have.

You two have been getting real comfortable.

- Don't even go there.

- Well then, tell him
he'll get it when he gets it.

- It doesn't work that way.

Mel can't have the book
published if I don't finish it.

- I didn't know this
was gonna be published.

That's amazing.

- I know, that's why I
wanna see it done too.

- I understand.

I was just being selfish, and
wanna lay in bed with you.

It's my last night before I leave again.

- I know.

Look, I'd like that too, and
as soon as I'm done here,

I'll meet you there, okay?

(sighing)

(atmospheric music)

Only a few more to go.

Baby, not tonight.

I'm tired.

Come on, Nicholas, I'm not in the mood.

It's late.

Are you mad at me?

- Nope.

- Will you at least look at me then?

What are you thinking about?

- Have you thought about what I asked you?

(tires screeching)

Why are you driving like that?

- [Tiffany] 'Cause there's all
these damn people in the road

jumping out at me and cars that are coming

to a complete stop while
using their fucking turn signal.

- Are you in a bad mood now?

I hate when you ignore me.

Or are you just avoiding the question?

Well, this is gonna be a pleasant evening.

- I don't know, Nick.

I feel uncomfortable about the whole thing.

Can we please just go to the restaurant

and enjoy a nice meal before you go?

(upbeat electronic music)

Tristan, that was incredible.

- I knew you were gonna like that salmon.

What did I tell you?

How's the wine

- Very nice.

They pair together perfectly.

- [Tristan] Perfect.

- Oh my God, that was like,

the drunkest night of my life.

I was so shit-faced.

(laughter)

- Morning!

(laughter)

We were all thinking, "Boner!"

We had our own party that
night, it was so awesome.

- Can I get you ladies something?

- Yeah, can I get a bald pussy?

(laughter)

- What's in a bald pussy?

- Blood.

- Oh, you're so nasty, girl.

- I knew I was walking into something.

- I'm sorry, but seriously,
they're super yummy.

- They are.

- I'll get that drink ordered too often,

so help me out, what's in a bald pussy?

- Well, are you gonna hook it up

since I'm doing your job?

- [Tristan] Yeah, we'll work something out.

- Okay, well then it's blueberry schnapps,

lime juice, lime vodka, and...

- Melon liqueur, triple
sec, and a splash of 7 Up.

You got all that?

- Okay, um, so blueberry
schnapps, lime juice,

lime vodka, melon
liqueur, triple sec, and 7 Up?

- Hooray, now we can be best friends

for the rest of the night.

- [Tristan] Woo hoo, I'm so lucky!

(laughter)

- Hi! - Hey!

- Nice to have you back.

- What did I do?

- You couldn't have
made it any more obvious.

- They were amusing.

Besides, you were busy eating

and talking to the bartender anyways.

- For like half a second.

- Why are you being so apprehensive?

- Really?

Apprehensive?

I have a lot of things on my mind,

and it's not easy for me to sort them out,

and you're not making it any easier.

- Well, I leave in a few hours,

so you'll have plenty of time then

to figure out what you need.

Can we get the check please?

- Why are you being like this?

- Because I have every right to be.

Lately, you've been so distant with me.

When was the last time we even had sex?

- I'll admit it's been a while, okay?

But that's not my fault.

I've been busy with work,
and then my period started,

and you know how those get,

it's like I've been stabbed to death.

(groaning)

- I don't ask for much,

but don't you think I have needs also?

Especially considering
everything that's happened lately.

- Excuse me, I've been wondering,

is your last name Dutch?

Really?

- What do you want me to say?

- [Nick] Doesn't matter at this point.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Come on, let's get out of here.

(electronic music)

- [Announcer] To the owner
of a tan and white horse,

you may not park at the terminal.

Please circle round.

- Have a safe trip.

Did you pack enough insulin?

- It's only for the weekend.

- Hey!

We may not be seeing
eye to eye on certain things,

but despite it all, I still love you.

Remember that.

- I know.

I love you too.

- You'd better hurry up and check in,

your flight's gonna depart soon.

- I'll be fine, don't worry.

- Call me when you get there?

- Will do.

- See you soon.

- [Announcer] Attention,

I have now achieved a
new high score in Battlefield.

That is all.

- Excuse you, boy.

(tense music)

- What the hell happened back there anyway?

Tiffany?

Hey.

Where should I go?

I'm kinda lost right now.

What the fuck do I do?

- End it.

- [Angelica] Come again?

- [Tiffany] We should die.

- Why would you say that?

It was all an accident, remember?

It's his fault.

- It's not, it's mine.

I shouldn't have closed
myself off from him,

I should have talked it through.

- It wouldn't have made a difference.

He's a piece of shit.

- Maybe.

I know where we can hide the body.

- You do?

- Get in the right lane.

Keep going straight, we're not far from it.

- I'm sorry about what I said earlier.

You got guts, and you're
sure as hell not boring.

That jerk didn't know what he had.

I was wrong, you shouldn't
change a thing about yourself.

- Thanks.

You know what I realize?

- What's that?

- I could have left his body in his car

and made it look like a suicide.

- Like the way the gangsters do it.

- It's pronounced "gansta,"
momma, get it right.

(laughter)

(police siren beeping)

- [Angelica] You have got to be joking.

- Get ready to pull over.

- [Angelica] What?

- [Tiffany] Just do it.

- He's stepping out of the car.

- Keep calm and act like nothing's wrong.

- Right, 'cause there's not a
dead body in the back seat.

- Shut up!

(tense music)

- You know why I pulled you over tonight?

- No officer, I don't.

- Okay.

You have a tail light out.

You got the registration of the vehicle?

- No, I don't.

- Okay.

Where are you girls headed tonight?

- Home, officer.

- Okay.

All right, you guys stay in the vehicle,

I'll be back in a minute, okay?

- He knows something's up.

Why the hell did you
tell me to pull over here?

- We're not gonna run anymore.

- Fuck my life.

I cannot believe this
is happening right now.

- Ladies, step out of the vehicle,

keep your hands where I can see 'em.

- You wanted to know
why I brought you here.

'Cause we're gonna jump.

- Do what he said, get outta the car!

- [Police Officer] Don't
make this anymore difficult

than it has to be.

- We'll do it together.

- This is your last warning,

get out of the car, do it now!

- We're like those two lesbos in that movie

where they drive over the cliff.

- Yeah, I don't think
Thelma and Louise were gay.

Fuck it.

- Think it'll be cold?

- I don't think

it's going to matter. - Ladies, step away

from the handrail!
- Don't do anything stupid!

- You know, under different circumstances,

I think you might have been my best friend.

- Best friends for life.

I can't go through with it.

What are you doing?

- Nothing.

- Why are you out of bed?

Again?

- [Nick] I can't help
it, all right, I'm sorry.

- Who was it this time?

Never mind, I don't wanna know.

- [Nick] Angelica.

- My best friend, Nicholas?

Am I not attractive to
you or something anymore?

- No, that's not it at all.

- [Tiffany] So what's the problem?

- I just wanna know, you know,

what it'd be like, that's all.

- "That's all," you act
like it's not a big deal.

- At least I'm being honest with you.

- [Tiffany] Oh, well I
guess I can't be completely

mad at you then, right?

- Exactly.

So you'll give it a chance?

- No, okay?

Absolutely not.

How would you feel if I did that to you?

- Come on now, Tiff.

We're just playing around
here, don't be like that.

- You don't like it, do you?

Why don't you let me have my way?

I wanna live out my fantasy too.

(knocking)

Who in the hell can that be at this time?

- I was just thinking the same thing.

(clattering)

Can I help you?

- Yes, my name is Peaches.

I'm looking for Tiffany, is she home?

I got something for her.

Hey there, my little cream girl.

- Hi, Peaches.

(heavy breathing)

- Holy shit!

- Are you all right?

- That felt so real.

- My God, Nicholas, you're so sweaty.

- Hey, yo, baby, you all right?

(screaming)

- Behind the scenes type shit.

- Are you crazy?

Stop!

- Are you crazy?

Stop!

- [Jason] Faster!

Faster!

(laughter)

That's scene, that's cool.

- [Angelica] God, for
a construction worker.

- [Jason] Cut!

- I can't.

I'm gonna drop him.

- [Jason] Celebrating, and action!

So you guys know where
you're dropping him off

and going and what not?

- [Tiffany] Where is the exact place

you want us to put him?

- [Mark] I put a leaf down.

(laughter)

- [Angelica] That's great, Mark.

- I'd like to report an
incident here at the...

I'd like to report an incident, yeah...

- No. - At the...

- [Jason] No.

- [Mark] Real quick.

- [Jason] Yeah, I think
you killed him for real.

(laughter)

- I'd like to report an incident.

Yes, we're... - Right, right, come back.

Let's do it.

(laughter)

- [Dog Walker] I felt a breeze, man!

Two more whacks and that's it.

- [Jason] All right.

(laughter)

- Sorry about the armpits. - Oh, it's okay.

♪ La la la la la ♪

- [Jason] There we go, all ready?

Down low. - Explain this to Elaine.

- [Jason] All right, dead guy.

- [Mark] Punch it, Chewy!

- Why are you driving like that?

- [Tiffany] 'Cause there's
all these damn people

in the road jumping out at me

and cars that are coming to a complete stop

while using their fucking turn signal.

(laughter)

- [Angelica] How dare
you talk about me like that.

(quiet slapping)

(laughter)

- Quite a swing.

- [Jason] Let me see that "oh shit" moment

where the slap is getting ready to happen.

(gasping)

One more, that felt good.

Slap in the face.

(gasping)

(laughter)

- Tristan, that was incredible.

I threw that down.

(laughter)

- [Woman] That was fucking awesome.

(laughter)

- It's so odd. - I went in too hard.

I went in too hard.

- You took him from me.

You took him away from me.

- [Jason] Spray him down
a little bit, somebody.

- [Man In Hat] I got this.

(laughter) - Exactly.

- [Tiffany] He knows
what sploodge looks like.

- [Jason] Give him one more.

There we go.

- [Man In Hat] Perfect shot, right there.

- Oh, oh,

baby, you all right?

(grunting)

What's wrong, baby?

(grunting)

You're all right, baby, you're all right.

(laughter)