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1
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'Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys!'
2
00:00:16,990 --> 00:00:20,269
# She's Mrs Brown
3
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,909
# That's Mrs Brown
4
00:00:22,910 --> 00:00:26,070
# Our Mrs Brown. #
5
00:00:28,190 --> 00:00:30,510
KNOCK AT DOOR
Door!
6
00:00:31,670 --> 00:00:33,189
KNOCKING CONTINUES
7
00:00:33,190 --> 00:00:34,550
Door!
8
00:00:36,110 --> 00:00:37,709
KNOCKING PERSISTS
9
00:00:37,710 --> 00:00:39,469
The door!
10
00:00:39,470 --> 00:00:41,469
Is that where it is, Grandad?
11
00:00:41,470 --> 00:00:45,070
Thanks very much!
Me very own feckin' sat-nav!
12
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:48,549
KNOCK AT DOOR
13
00:00:48,550 --> 00:00:50,910
You better be a buckin' woodpecker!
14
00:00:51,910 --> 00:00:53,988
Oh. Thank you.
15
00:00:54,790 --> 00:00:58,589
Ah, that's nice.
Someone's getting flowers.
16
00:00:58,590 --> 00:01:01,590
Are they for me? No, Grandad.
It's a bouquet, not a wreath!
17
00:01:05,550 --> 00:01:10,109
"To the most beautiful woman
in the world." They're for me!
18
00:01:10,110 --> 00:01:14,429
"To my wife,
just because I love you." Aw!
19
00:01:14,430 --> 00:01:16,909
That'll brighten Maria's day.
20
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,749
It's nice to see Dermot
doing things like that.
21
00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:23,709
Especially so close to the birth
of the twins. Just weeks to go.
22
00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:26,469
Morning. Look! Flowers!
23
00:01:26,470 --> 00:01:29,029
Yes, for you!
They're beautiful. But why?
24
00:01:29,030 --> 00:01:32,669
Just because. That's romance, Maria.
25
00:01:32,670 --> 00:01:34,789
And that's the Brown way.
26
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,200
I haven't got time to
put them in a vase.
27
00:01:36,201 --> 00:01:37,610
I'll look after them.
28
00:01:37,611 --> 00:01:40,430
Thanks, Mrs Brown.
Ah, they're so lovely!
29
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:47,469
Dermot. His father wasn't
like that. You must be joking.
30
00:01:47,470 --> 00:01:51,190
The only time I saw Redser in the
same room as flowers was his funeral!
31
00:01:52,830 --> 00:01:55,990
No, Dermot's a romantic.
He gets that from me.
32
00:01:57,630 --> 00:02:00,589
It's that time of year
and love is in the air.
33
00:02:00,590 --> 00:02:02,869
I hate you! I hate you!
34
00:02:02,870 --> 00:02:05,050
You can sit down!
I don't want to sit down!
35
00:02:05,051 --> 00:02:07,229
Suit yourself!
Don't you worry. I will!
36
00:02:07,230 --> 00:02:10,230
Like you always do...
I've had a good teacher!
37
00:02:15,070 --> 00:02:18,589
That one's mine. And that one.
And I think this is mine.
38
00:02:18,590 --> 00:02:21,469
You can think again.
That's buckin' mine.
39
00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:25,050
There should be another
one with this.
40
00:02:25,051 --> 00:02:28,629
It's a double album. Where is it?
I ate it! Ooh-hoo-hoo!
41
00:02:34,990 --> 00:02:37,229
Mammy, did you hear that?!
42
00:02:37,230 --> 00:02:40,950
I know. Come here. Ssh, now, now.
I know.
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00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:45,070
Me, a bastard!
44
00:02:46,110 --> 00:02:48,189
Technically you're not!
45
00:02:48,190 --> 00:02:51,309
Technically?! Oh!
46
00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:53,149
Rory!
47
00:02:53,150 --> 00:02:54,709
Granny!
48
00:02:54,710 --> 00:02:56,789
Bono!
49
00:02:56,790 --> 00:02:59,229
Oh, me little man,
let me look at you.
50
00:02:59,230 --> 00:03:02,509
Ooh, now, what's all this?
I'm a Indian, Granny!
51
00:03:02,510 --> 00:03:04,790
An Indian!
Here, little Indian, go in and play
52
00:03:04,791 --> 00:03:07,069
with your grandad.
I'll be in to you in a minute.
53
00:03:07,070 --> 00:03:10,269
Thanks for keeping an eye on him.
I won't be long at the dentist.
54
00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:13,469
No problem. I love having him
around. He brightens up the place.
55
00:03:13,470 --> 00:03:15,590
And you're going to be
longer at the dentist
56
00:03:15,591 --> 00:03:17,710
than you think with
those buck teeth!
57
00:03:19,310 --> 00:03:21,229
Hello, Ma. Hello, son!
58
00:03:21,230 --> 00:03:24,389
Oh, what beautiful flowers.
Flowers? Who got them?
59
00:03:24,390 --> 00:03:27,789
Maria. They came this morning.
Actually... Maria was delighted!
60
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,589
Was she? Yes.
61
00:03:29,590 --> 00:03:32,709
Is it an anniversary or something?
No. Just because.
62
00:03:32,710 --> 00:03:35,749
Och, that's so romantic. Isn't it?
63
00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:38,029
Yeah. Very romantic.
64
00:03:38,030 --> 00:03:42,349
I wish you'd do something like that
for me. You're not romantic at all.
65
00:03:42,350 --> 00:03:44,910
He used to be...
before he married you!
66
00:03:46,030 --> 00:03:48,149
Ma!
I'm just saying, you know.
67
00:03:48,150 --> 00:03:50,829
You get married,
you forget things, you get so busy.
68
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:53,429
He forgets to get flowers,
she forgets to work out.
69
00:03:53,430 --> 00:03:56,869
Saggy arse, pimples popping out,
teeth going bad,
70
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:59,549
wrinkles popping up everywhere,
you know...
71
00:03:59,550 --> 00:04:04,149
Now, now, don't be so hard on yourself.
I'm sure Mr Brown loved you anyway!
72
00:04:04,150 --> 00:04:07,110
Right, we'd better go.
Won't be long.
73
00:04:08,230 --> 00:04:09,910
Take your feckin' time!
74
00:04:11,030 --> 00:04:13,030
I haven't got feckin' wrinkles.
75
00:04:14,910 --> 00:04:17,709
Ha-ha-ha, Bono!
76
00:04:17,710 --> 00:04:19,790
What are you doing?
77
00:04:24,110 --> 00:04:26,829
Now, Bono, if you're going to
do that to Grandad,
78
00:04:26,830 --> 00:04:29,310
take the rubber tip off.
79
00:04:31,190 --> 00:04:34,989
Is he your grandad? No, he's not
my grandad, he's my husband's daddy.
80
00:04:34,990 --> 00:04:36,749
But I call him Grandad.
81
00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:38,430
Among other things...
82
00:04:39,910 --> 00:04:42,909
And I'm your daddy's mammy,
so you call me...
83
00:04:42,910 --> 00:04:46,429
Granny! That's right.
And Daddy calls me...
84
00:04:46,430 --> 00:04:48,909
Mammy! Yes!
And your mammy calls me...
85
00:04:48,910 --> 00:04:51,630
An auld cow. An auld co...
86
00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:56,670
Does she, now?
87
00:05:02,150 --> 00:05:04,429
SHE LAUGHS
88
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,589
"Pyschic wanted.
89
00:05:06,590 --> 00:05:08,550
"You know where to apply."
90
00:05:12,030 --> 00:05:15,549
I'm ordering meself a pizza, Mammy.
Will I order you something?
91
00:05:15,550 --> 00:05:18,909
Give me the menu. It's in Italian.
Will I just pick something for ya?
92
00:05:18,910 --> 00:05:23,630
I'm well capable of ordering
for myself in any feckin' language!
93
00:05:25,310 --> 00:05:28,150
Hello? I'd like to order
a delivery, please.
94
00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:33,110
Mammy? I'm only after getting it!
Give me a feckin' second!
95
00:05:34,150 --> 00:05:35,950
Yes, 92 James Larkin Court.
96
00:05:37,030 --> 00:05:42,949
Brown. Er, a medium thin-crust
Hawaiian, please. Yeah, and, erm...
97
00:05:42,950 --> 00:05:45,629
I'll have the pageone!
98
00:05:45,630 --> 00:05:47,990
And a lasagne, please.
99
00:05:49,310 --> 00:05:50,949
Thanks.
100
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:54,149
Excuse me. I said a pageone!
101
00:05:54,150 --> 00:05:56,710
That's "page one".
102
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,669
Howya, Cathy.
103
00:06:05,670 --> 00:06:07,730
You still having that
dream where I'm covered
104
00:06:07,731 --> 00:06:09,790
in oil and you're
sliding up and down me?
105
00:06:11,110 --> 00:06:14,670
I've never had a dream about you.
Ah! That was my dream.
106
00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:18,789
Is Dermot here? No.
107
00:06:18,790 --> 00:06:22,389
I'll call later. If you see him, will
you say I got that thing organised?
108
00:06:22,390 --> 00:06:24,669
What thing? I have a friend...
109
00:06:24,670 --> 00:06:26,909
We don't need to know.
Good night, Buster!
110
00:06:26,910 --> 00:06:28,309
I'll see yous.
111
00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:30,909
SHE SIGHS
112
00:06:30,910 --> 00:06:34,109
What's up? I wish Rory and Dino
would stop fighting so much.
113
00:06:34,110 --> 00:06:37,149
I don't think they understand
how much it upsets other people.
114
00:06:37,150 --> 00:06:41,710
You could learn a lesson from that
yourself. I beg your pardon?
115
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,909
Sorry, will you give that
to your son?
116
00:06:45,910 --> 00:06:48,270
I love you, Cathy. Piss off!
117
00:06:51,430 --> 00:06:54,189
What do you mean,
I could learn a lesson?
118
00:06:54,190 --> 00:06:56,490
I don't think you realise
how much you not
119
00:06:56,491 --> 00:06:58,790
getting on with Mrs
Nicholson upsets Maria.
120
00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:04,749
Here, what's in the envelope?
Two tickets for a weekend in Venice.
121
00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:08,749
God! Dermot's gone romance mad!
Hasn't he?
122
00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:12,589
Here, I've to pick me dress up
from the cleaners.
123
00:07:12,590 --> 00:07:15,670
Hiya, Rory. You feeling any better?
124
00:07:18,870 --> 00:07:20,869
HE SIGHS
125
00:07:20,870 --> 00:07:23,070
I got to go.
Mammy, when the pizza comes, just
126
00:07:23,071 --> 00:07:25,270
put it in the oven.
I won't be long. All right.
127
00:07:27,390 --> 00:07:30,509
Dermot's taking Maria
off to Venice for the weekend.
128
00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:33,630
Going to be going up and down
in their gonorrhoea.
129
00:07:42,550 --> 00:07:44,550
I think you mean "gorgonzola".
130
00:07:45,550 --> 00:07:48,070
You're right. Gorgonzola.
131
00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:54,230
It's in the gorgonzola.
It's the gonorrhoea that rows it.
132
00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:08,870
Rory, why are you so sad?
133
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:28,029
Rory, I wish there was something
I could do to make things better.
134
00:08:28,030 --> 00:08:30,590
There's nothing. It's over!
135
00:08:31,590 --> 00:08:34,029
I know... I could beat him up!
136
00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:37,269
What?! No! I'm only joking.
137
00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:40,629
But you didn't want anything to
happen to him all the same, did you?
138
00:08:40,630 --> 00:08:43,109
See. You care. It's not over.
139
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:44,669
KNOCK AT DOOR
140
00:08:44,670 --> 00:08:46,270
It's open!
141
00:08:47,270 --> 00:08:50,349
Hey, Mrs Brown.
Hello, Barbara. Sit down.
142
00:08:50,350 --> 00:08:54,190
How are you, Rory? I just dropped
over to see how you are. Not there...
143
00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:00,029
He's not great, Barbara.
He's not great at all.
144
00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:04,709
I don't blame you. That Dino is
a bitchy diva at times. Wha'?
145
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,109
DOORBELL RINGS
There's the Italian food.
146
00:09:07,110 --> 00:09:09,349
I don't know how
I haven't killed him before.
147
00:09:09,350 --> 00:09:12,949
He treats me like dirt sometimes.
Shouts at me like I'm a trainee.
148
00:09:12,950 --> 00:09:15,830
Well... you are a trainee!
149
00:09:17,550 --> 00:09:20,069
Hello, Dino! Hello, Mrs Brown.
150
00:09:20,070 --> 00:09:22,870
I just called round to see
if I left my white jacket here.
151
00:09:24,590 --> 00:09:26,309
Here, son.
152
00:09:26,310 --> 00:09:28,749
Dino... how are you?
153
00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:32,149
How am I? How am I?
154
00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:34,110
I haven't slept for two days.
155
00:09:34,111 --> 00:09:36,069
I've a blinding headache,
bags under my eyes
156
00:09:36,070 --> 00:09:39,750
and last night I just curled up in
the corner and I cried like a baby.
157
00:09:41,390 --> 00:09:43,430
I'm sorry I fuckin' asked now!
158
00:09:45,590 --> 00:09:47,109
Dino...
159
00:09:47,110 --> 00:09:49,870
Look, son, I know
I didn't take to you at first.
160
00:09:50,870 --> 00:09:54,550
And I don't pretend to know too much
about Los Homos...
161
00:09:56,670 --> 00:09:58,709
But I love my son.
162
00:09:58,710 --> 00:10:01,469
And all I ever wanted
was for Rory to be happy.
163
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:06,150
And I have to say, I've never seen Rory
as happy as he is when he's with you.
164
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,350
HE MOUTHS
165
00:10:10,390 --> 00:10:12,070
SHE MOUTHS
166
00:10:14,270 --> 00:10:15,669
Dino...
167
00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:17,590
why don't you come in, son?
168
00:10:18,990 --> 00:10:20,989
Rory's in the kitchen.
169
00:10:20,990 --> 00:10:23,610
He says he cares for you
but anyone'll tell you
170
00:10:23,611 --> 00:10:26,229
he's always talking about
you behind your back.
171
00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:31,069
And who would HE be, Barbara?
The cat's mother?
172
00:10:31,070 --> 00:10:32,589
Hey, Dino!
173
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,030
I was just saying that the boss
doesn't realise how good Rory...
174
00:10:35,031 --> 00:10:37,469
Yous both are, wasn't I Rory?
175
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:41,069
No, you weren't! You were
back-biting about the man I love!
176
00:10:41,070 --> 00:10:43,709
I better go, so. Yes, you better.
177
00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:46,509
Be in early in the morning,
Barbara.
178
00:10:46,510 --> 00:10:48,990
I've a new sweeping brush
for you to try out.
179
00:10:51,710 --> 00:10:55,309
Were you defending my honour?
Bit late for that.
180
00:10:55,310 --> 00:10:58,069
Oh, Rory! Ah, Dino!
181
00:10:58,070 --> 00:11:00,550
Oh, Jaysus!
182
00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:07,109
Let's start again. A new beginning.
We'll go on a date!
183
00:11:07,110 --> 00:11:08,269
DOORBELL RINGS
184
00:11:08,270 --> 00:11:11,149
There's that feckin'
Italian food now!
185
00:11:11,150 --> 00:11:13,730
I've a friend.
He owns an indoor horse-riding school.
186
00:11:13,731 --> 00:11:16,309
I'll pick you up
Thursday, seven o'clock.
187
00:11:16,310 --> 00:11:20,150
But I was never on a horse before. Ach!
Neither have I! It'll be an adventure!
188
00:11:23,270 --> 00:11:26,230
He seemed happy.
We're going on a date!
189
00:11:31,670 --> 00:11:34,270
See how relieved you are now
they're not fighting? Yes.
190
00:11:34,271 --> 00:11:36,870
Wouldn't it be nice if
Maria could feel that way?
191
00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:41,629
Ring Mrs Nicholson.
I don't think so.
192
00:11:41,630 --> 00:11:44,390
I've dialled the number.
Speak to her!
193
00:11:48,990 --> 00:11:50,429
Hello, Hidley?
194
00:11:50,430 --> 00:11:52,750
Yes, how do do do?
195
00:11:54,390 --> 00:11:55,670
It's Agnes.
196
00:11:56,670 --> 00:11:58,429
Agnes Brown.
197
00:11:58,430 --> 00:12:00,830
How many fuckin' Agneses
do you know?
198
00:12:01,870 --> 00:12:03,389
Mammy!
199
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:04,710
Sorry.
200
00:12:05,910 --> 00:12:08,909
No. Look, Hillary,
I was just thinking.
201
00:12:08,910 --> 00:12:11,869
You know, we're going to have twins
in the family.
202
00:12:11,870 --> 00:12:15,430
You're going to be one granny,
I'm going to be their real granny...
203
00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:20,830
I just thought, you know...
I'd like to take you to dinner.
204
00:12:22,190 --> 00:12:24,429
No, no, not here.
205
00:12:24,430 --> 00:12:26,829
I'll take you out.
206
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,870
We'll go somewhere nice.
207
00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:34,629
We come here all the time.
208
00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:36,230
That's nice.
209
00:12:43,390 --> 00:12:45,949
Would you like some ketchup?
No, thank you.
210
00:12:45,950 --> 00:12:49,750
Here. Put them in your bag,
say nothing.
211
00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:55,029
You'll have a drink, will you?
I have a sherry.
212
00:12:55,030 --> 00:12:58,589
No, you'd have a DRINK, though. Mr
Foley, two pints of cider, please!
213
00:12:58,590 --> 00:13:02,469
You're very lucky to have
your husband at home, Mrs Nicholson.
214
00:13:02,470 --> 00:13:05,709
Yes, I suppose.
Mine's in hospital most of the time.
215
00:13:05,710 --> 00:13:09,149
Oh, I'm so sorry. Thanks, Mr Foley.
216
00:13:09,150 --> 00:13:10,830
Do you be gettin' it regular, now?
217
00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:13,870
Winnie!
218
00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:17,670
That's not the kind of question
you ask.
219
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:26,950
Getting what?
The bonky-bonky thing!
220
00:13:29,870 --> 00:13:33,630
Where can one powder one's nose?
On one's face.
221
00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:38,950
Oh, the toilet? It's back there.
222
00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:44,390
BOTH: She's not getting it.
No, she's not.
223
00:13:45,430 --> 00:13:48,909
So, how's Sharon?
She's taking cookery lessons now.
224
00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:51,390
That's no harm.
Do you remember she tried to make
225
00:13:51,391 --> 00:13:53,870
French toast and caught her
tongue in the toaster?
226
00:13:57,990 --> 00:14:03,029
She made a carrot cake last night.
A carrot cake? How did it turn out?
227
00:14:03,030 --> 00:14:05,510
She didn't grate the carrots.
228
00:14:08,310 --> 00:14:11,469
What she feckin' needs is a man!
You're right, Agnes.
229
00:14:11,470 --> 00:14:13,590
Especially her being a virgin.
230
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,830
Yeah!
231
00:14:19,870 --> 00:14:22,669
Amazing time, losing your virginity.
232
00:14:22,670 --> 00:14:26,469
Oh, it is! I remember it,
I remember mine. Oh, now!
233
00:14:26,470 --> 00:14:28,910
I was sitting there,
me mother and father
234
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:31,349
downstairs looking
across from me.
235
00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:33,270
I gave him a nudge, I said,
"Shall we sneak upstairs?
236
00:14:33,271 --> 00:14:35,189
" So we sneaked upstairs.
237
00:14:35,190 --> 00:14:36,590
Well, we... Hrrrr!
238
00:14:37,830 --> 00:14:40,229
Oh, it was such fun,
and when we finished
239
00:14:40,230 --> 00:14:42,230
everybody on the bus just clapped!
240
00:14:49,830 --> 00:14:53,029
I remember mine. Oh?
241
00:14:53,030 --> 00:14:56,829
Pictures first,
then home for a quiet drink.
242
00:14:56,830 --> 00:15:01,149
I'd left the electric blanket on
so the bed was nice and cosy.
243
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:05,509
And afterwards, just lay there,
smoking me cigarette.
244
00:15:05,510 --> 00:15:09,149
God, I was in heaven! I can imagine.
245
00:15:09,150 --> 00:15:11,590
I only wish Jacko had been there!
246
00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:22,389
We were just talking...
how did you meet Jonathan?
247
00:15:22,390 --> 00:15:24,549
Well, I met him in France.
248
00:15:24,550 --> 00:15:28,909
Ooooh! Winnie went out with a
French man once, didn't you? I did.
249
00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:30,789
Really? What was his name?
250
00:15:30,790 --> 00:15:33,510
Creme de Monty!
251
00:15:34,710 --> 00:15:36,349
That's a liquor!
252
00:15:36,350 --> 00:15:38,110
BOTH: Do you know him?!
253
00:15:43,990 --> 00:15:46,149
Dermot sent Maria flowers.
254
00:15:46,150 --> 00:15:48,069
Where is she? What?
255
00:15:48,070 --> 00:15:50,589
Maria. Where did he send
the flowers to?
256
00:15:50,590 --> 00:15:51,949
Our house, home.
257
00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:55,909
But they both live there... why didn't
he bring them home and save a few bob?
258
00:15:55,910 --> 00:15:57,669
You're missing the point, Winnie.
259
00:15:57,670 --> 00:15:59,669
It's a surprise,
the romance of it all.
260
00:15:59,670 --> 00:16:01,229
Ah, right.
261
00:16:01,230 --> 00:16:04,029
Dermot's father
wasn't like that at all.
262
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:07,389
Ah, now, Agnes,
he did give you that surprise party!
263
00:16:07,390 --> 00:16:08,990
That was his funeral!
264
00:16:12,990 --> 00:16:16,190
Mr Foley! Another pint of cider
for the Queen of Sheba!
265
00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:29,189
Howya, Maria. Is Dermot here?
266
00:16:29,190 --> 00:16:31,749
No, he's still in work...
the shop's open till ten.
267
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:34,349
I'll call back later
and see him. Do you have to?
268
00:16:34,350 --> 00:16:37,709
Do you have to call at all? What?
269
00:16:37,710 --> 00:16:40,469
Every time Dermot tries to
go straight you turn up,
270
00:16:40,470 --> 00:16:42,709
and he's back being
the master burglar.
271
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,909
Oh, thanks very much,
it's no bother!
272
00:16:44,910 --> 00:16:47,710
It's not a compliment.
273
00:16:48,830 --> 00:16:50,229
Just leave us alone.
274
00:16:50,230 --> 00:16:53,629
Just go away and leave us alone!
SHE GROANS
275
00:16:53,630 --> 00:16:56,149
OK.
276
00:16:56,150 --> 00:16:58,269
AUDIENCE: Awww.
277
00:16:58,270 --> 00:17:00,189
Will you give that to Dermot?
278
00:17:00,190 --> 00:17:01,429
What is it?
279
00:17:01,430 --> 00:17:03,549
I knew yous two
were looking for a place
280
00:17:03,550 --> 00:17:06,109
and a friend of mine
just moved out of an apartment.
281
00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:08,229
The rent's cheap.
282
00:17:08,230 --> 00:17:10,229
That's the keys.
283
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,509
Buster...
284
00:17:11,510 --> 00:17:13,349
Buster, look, I'm sorry.
285
00:17:13,350 --> 00:17:16,989
Don't mind me. My hormones
are all over the place.
286
00:17:16,990 --> 00:17:19,510
Do you want me
to help you look for them?
287
00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:29,029
Howya, Dermot! Howya, Buster!
288
00:17:29,030 --> 00:17:30,269
Uuurgh!
289
00:17:30,270 --> 00:17:31,989
Are you all right, love?
290
00:17:31,990 --> 00:17:33,750
She can't find her harmonica.
291
00:17:36,190 --> 00:17:37,909
I think the babies are coming.
292
00:17:37,910 --> 00:17:40,069
Jaysus! Jaysus!
293
00:17:40,070 --> 00:17:42,109
Get the suitcase! The suitcase!
294
00:17:42,110 --> 00:17:44,309
Call the ambulance! The ambulance!
295
00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:47,869
Breathe, in and out, in and out!
296
00:17:47,870 --> 00:17:49,509
Feel any better?
297
00:17:49,510 --> 00:17:51,349
Bit dizzy, Dermot.
298
00:17:51,350 --> 00:17:53,709
Not you!
299
00:17:53,710 --> 00:17:55,269
Yes, it's easing.
300
00:17:55,270 --> 00:17:57,909
Good! Dermot, you look very pale.
301
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,149
I'm grand.
302
00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:01,229
Aaaargh!
303
00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:02,830
Oooooh...
304
00:18:05,270 --> 00:18:06,949
Eh...
305
00:18:06,950 --> 00:18:09,589
It has two bedrooms
and there's a lift that goes...
306
00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:11,109
Buster, go and get help!
307
00:18:11,110 --> 00:18:13,349
Get help, get help...
308
00:18:13,350 --> 00:18:15,669
HELP! HELP!
309
00:18:15,670 --> 00:18:19,229
Buster, will you get someone?!
Get someone. Get someone...
310
00:18:19,230 --> 00:18:21,789
JUST GO! I'm going!
311
00:18:21,790 --> 00:18:24,510
ALL: Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go...
312
00:18:28,790 --> 00:18:30,590
ALL: Yes!
313
00:18:32,270 --> 00:18:34,189
The winner!
314
00:18:34,190 --> 00:18:36,789
Free drink for everyone!
315
00:18:36,790 --> 00:18:38,949
Mrs Brown, you have to go home.
316
00:18:38,950 --> 00:18:41,949
I'm having a good time, leave me
alone. No, you have to come now.
317
00:18:41,950 --> 00:18:44,549
Buster, I don't remember
marrying you, now piss off!
318
00:18:44,550 --> 00:18:46,869
They're coming! Who's coming?
319
00:18:46,870 --> 00:18:49,349
The babies, they're coming! Winnie!
320
00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:50,709
It's Maria's time!
321
00:18:50,710 --> 00:18:52,869
Where's Dermot? He's at your house.
322
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,950
I think he's dead!
323
00:18:56,230 --> 00:18:59,310
Winnie, come on, let's go.
You, get Hillary.
324
00:19:03,470 --> 00:19:04,909
Where was I?
325
00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:06,829
Breathe, in and out...
326
00:19:06,830 --> 00:19:08,349
Aaaargh!
327
00:19:08,350 --> 00:19:10,310
Oooh...
328
00:19:11,790 --> 00:19:14,349
Maria, how far apart are the pains?
329
00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:18,109
Oh, not too far, a few minutes.
Where's Dermot?
330
00:19:18,110 --> 00:19:20,749
He's on the floor...
he's not able for this!
331
00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:23,749
Winnie, we'd better
get things started. Right, Agnes,
332
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:26,509
I'll get hot water,
whisky, a lamp and newspapers.
333
00:19:26,510 --> 00:19:27,869
Winnie!
334
00:19:27,870 --> 00:19:30,469
I'm not feckin' John Wayne!
335
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:32,110
Just call an ambulance!
336
00:19:33,870 --> 00:19:35,709
Mammy, thank God you're here!
337
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:37,149
Just relax.
338
00:19:37,150 --> 00:19:39,069
Son, look after your wife.
339
00:19:39,070 --> 00:19:40,870
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh...
340
00:19:44,790 --> 00:19:48,069
Mother, are you all right?
I'm fine, thank you.
341
00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:50,109
Come on, I can take you!
342
00:19:50,110 --> 00:19:52,789
Aaargh!
343
00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:54,349
Ooooh...
344
00:19:54,350 --> 00:19:56,149
Oh, God, Maria, are you all right?
345
00:19:56,150 --> 00:19:58,669
She's fine, the babies are coming.
346
00:19:58,670 --> 00:20:01,070
The babies are...
THE BABIES ARE COMING! Calm down!
347
00:20:01,071 --> 00:20:02,869
THE BABIES ARE COMING! Calm down.
348
00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:04,709
THE BABIES ARE COMING!
349
00:20:04,710 --> 00:20:06,790
ECHOING THUMP
350
00:20:13,190 --> 00:20:15,350
ECHOING THUMP
351
00:20:20,990 --> 00:20:23,430
ECHOING CRACK
352
00:20:27,270 --> 00:20:30,349
Maria, come on, lie down.
353
00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:32,909
Everybody else, into the kitchen!
354
00:20:32,910 --> 00:20:34,709
Come on, love, lie down.
355
00:20:34,710 --> 00:20:36,669
Lie down, get your feet up.
356
00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:40,669
Remember your classes -
breathe in, breathe out...
357
00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:42,109
Can't see the telly!
358
00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:43,629
Piss off, you!
359
00:20:43,630 --> 00:20:45,429
Breathe in...
360
00:20:45,430 --> 00:20:47,110
I can't see the telly!
361
00:20:51,230 --> 00:20:52,670
Breathe in, breathe out...
362
00:20:52,671 --> 00:20:55,229
Oh, Dermot, good man,
look after your wife.
363
00:20:55,230 --> 00:20:57,589
What will I do?! Encourage her!
364
00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,189
Go, Maria! Go, Maria!
365
00:20:59,190 --> 00:21:01,750
Shut up, you moron! Aargh!
366
00:21:05,270 --> 00:21:07,829
Mammy, have her waters gone yet?
No, not yet!
367
00:21:07,830 --> 00:21:09,029
Uuurgh!
368
00:21:09,030 --> 00:21:11,030
WATER GUSHES
369
00:21:12,750 --> 00:21:14,509
Scratch that last message!
370
00:21:14,510 --> 00:21:16,109
Give me a towel!
371
00:21:16,110 --> 00:21:18,790
SIREN WAILS
372
00:21:20,910 --> 00:21:22,949
Oh, you're here, thank God!
373
00:21:22,950 --> 00:21:25,029
Maria, the ambulance is here.
374
00:21:25,030 --> 00:21:27,349
Everything's going to be fine!
375
00:21:27,350 --> 00:21:28,990
NOT HIM! HER!
376
00:21:31,430 --> 00:21:33,910
Not her! THIS her!
377
00:21:35,950 --> 00:21:37,349
Dermot, Dermot...
378
00:21:37,350 --> 00:21:40,789
Dermot, son,
you go in the ambulance with Maria.
379
00:21:40,790 --> 00:21:43,549
For God's sake,
don't you dare faint again, go!
380
00:21:43,550 --> 00:21:45,829
She's close, five centimetres!
381
00:21:45,830 --> 00:21:48,109
Aaargh!
382
00:21:48,110 --> 00:21:51,510
She's close, five kilometres!
383
00:21:55,990 --> 00:21:58,470
REPETITIVE TAPPING
384
00:22:02,190 --> 00:22:03,790
Buster, stop it.
385
00:22:06,270 --> 00:22:07,709
Sorry.
386
00:22:07,710 --> 00:22:10,589
I'm not able
for this feckin' waiting!
387
00:22:10,590 --> 00:22:13,989
Your father was great...
he was so cool.
388
00:22:13,990 --> 00:22:15,869
I remember when I was in on Rory.
389
00:22:15,870 --> 00:22:18,589
He just came in and said,
"Any news of the baby?"
390
00:22:18,590 --> 00:22:20,750
I said, "He's two."
391
00:22:24,470 --> 00:22:26,750
PHONE RINGS
392
00:22:30,390 --> 00:22:31,990
Hello?
393
00:22:33,550 --> 00:22:36,069
Kieron? Yes, hold on, he's here.
394
00:22:36,070 --> 00:22:37,470
Kieron, it's for you.
395
00:22:48,030 --> 00:22:50,069
PHONE RINGS
396
00:22:50,070 --> 00:22:52,309
Is that your phone? No!
397
00:22:52,310 --> 00:22:54,629
Of course not...
you wouldn't be silly enough
398
00:22:54,630 --> 00:22:56,830
to leave your phone on
in a feckin' studio!
399
00:22:58,990 --> 00:23:01,030
It's OUR phone!
400
00:23:06,310 --> 00:23:07,830
Hello?
401
00:23:09,030 --> 00:23:11,870
Fuck's sake, Kieron!
402
00:23:16,790 --> 00:23:19,350
REPETITIVE TAPPING
403
00:23:20,790 --> 00:23:22,909
Stop, Buster!
404
00:23:22,910 --> 00:23:24,749
Sorry.
405
00:23:24,750 --> 00:23:28,070
PHONE RINGS
406
00:23:29,630 --> 00:23:31,989
Hello?
407
00:23:31,990 --> 00:23:33,829
Dermot!
408
00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:35,349
Yes?
409
00:23:35,350 --> 00:23:36,829
Hold on.
410
00:23:36,830 --> 00:23:39,229
The first one was born
an hour ago... it's a boy!
411
00:23:39,230 --> 00:23:41,589
Yes! Yes, love.
412
00:23:41,590 --> 00:23:46,149
The second was born ten minutes
ago... it's another boy! Twin boys!
413
00:23:46,150 --> 00:23:47,669
Yes!
414
00:23:47,670 --> 00:23:50,110
I'm still here, love, yes.
415
00:23:51,550 --> 00:23:53,030
You what?
416
00:23:55,030 --> 00:23:56,750
Well, I...
417
00:23:59,870 --> 00:24:03,029
They're expecting the third
any minute now.
418
00:24:03,030 --> 00:24:04,309
Yes!
419
00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:06,749
My God,
life doesn't get better than this!
420
00:24:06,750 --> 00:24:08,030
Well done, Mammy!
421
00:24:08,031 --> 00:24:10,150
I must bring her night
clothes in the morning.
422
00:24:10,151 --> 00:24:12,269
And I'll bring her
flowers tomorrow.
423
00:24:12,270 --> 00:24:15,549
They're not her flowers. They are...
the ones you got for Dermot.
424
00:24:15,550 --> 00:24:18,309
I didn't get them for Dermot,
I got them for Mark.
425
00:24:18,310 --> 00:24:20,189
For Mark?
426
00:24:20,190 --> 00:24:21,509
DOOR OPENS
427
00:24:21,510 --> 00:24:22,909
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
428
00:24:22,910 --> 00:24:24,990
Oh, Rory, Rory, great news!
429
00:24:28,190 --> 00:24:30,109
Rory, are you all right?
430
00:24:30,110 --> 00:24:33,549
Ah, it's me back, Mammy,
I feel like I'm two foot tall.
431
00:24:33,550 --> 00:24:35,709
Did you fall? No, Mammy.
432
00:24:35,710 --> 00:24:38,629
Me and Dino were
up in the park, riding!
433
00:24:38,630 --> 00:24:42,390
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
434
00:24:47,150 --> 00:24:50,989
Three beautiful boys,
and they're the image of me.
435
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:53,789
That'll be the trauma of the birth,
Agnes.
436
00:24:53,790 --> 00:24:55,390
It'll wear off.
437
00:24:56,430 --> 00:24:58,470
Sorry.
438
00:24:59,630 --> 00:25:01,789
Three beautiful new Brown boys!
439
00:25:01,790 --> 00:25:04,669
You won't know yourself
with babies in the house.
440
00:25:04,670 --> 00:25:06,690
I know! Mind you, they're
moving out shortly.
441
00:25:06,691 --> 00:25:08,709
I should make the most
of it while I can.
442
00:25:08,710 --> 00:25:09,829
Yeah.
443
00:25:09,830 --> 00:25:11,709
Triplets!
444
00:25:11,710 --> 00:25:13,750
What a way to end the series. Yeah.
445
00:25:15,630 --> 00:25:18,989
What? This isn't the last episode?
Yes, it is.
446
00:25:18,990 --> 00:25:21,749
But it can't be...
there's been no song!
447
00:25:21,750 --> 00:25:24,230
You're right, Winnie!
448
00:25:25,670 --> 00:25:26,710
We have a problem.
449
00:25:26,711 --> 00:25:28,549
Well, just hold on.
450
00:25:28,550 --> 00:25:30,909
First, I have a problem.
451
00:25:30,910 --> 00:25:33,749
Betty, I didn't want
to upset Maria...
452
00:25:33,750 --> 00:25:35,829
but I got those flowers for you.
453
00:25:35,830 --> 00:25:38,290
I know.
And the tickets to Venice weren't
454
00:25:38,291 --> 00:25:40,749
for Dermot and Maria
I got them for us.
455
00:25:40,750 --> 00:25:43,429
I know.
And I'm fed up with being told...
456
00:25:43,430 --> 00:25:46,469
You know?
Yes, Buster told me everything.
457
00:25:46,470 --> 00:25:47,870
The hero again.
458
00:25:48,990 --> 00:25:52,069
OK, then. Fine.
459
00:25:52,070 --> 00:25:55,949
Sorry, Ma, what's your problem?
Well, it's much bigger than yours!
460
00:25:55,950 --> 00:25:59,349
This is the last programme
in the series... we've no song!
461
00:25:59,350 --> 00:26:01,269
I'll give you a song, Ma.
462
00:26:01,270 --> 00:26:03,669
Mark, love, you can't sing.
Want to bet?
463
00:26:03,670 --> 00:26:05,749
MUSIC: Macy Gray's "I Try"
464
00:26:05,750 --> 00:26:10,189
# Games, changes and fears
465
00:26:10,190 --> 00:26:12,470
# Where do they go from here?
466
00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:15,629
# When do they stop?
467
00:26:15,630 --> 00:26:20,910
# I believe that fate
has brought us here
468
00:26:22,550 --> 00:26:26,509
# And we should be together, babe
469
00:26:26,510 --> 00:26:28,870
# But we are not
470
00:26:30,910 --> 00:26:35,390
# I play it cool
but I'm thinking of you
471
00:26:36,830 --> 00:26:40,869
# I keep my cool, but I'm feelin'
472
00:26:40,870 --> 00:26:45,069
ALL: # I try to say goodbye
and I choke
473
00:26:45,070 --> 00:26:48,589
# Try to walk away and I stumble
474
00:26:48,590 --> 00:26:51,229
# Though I try to hide it, it's clear
475
00:26:51,230 --> 00:26:55,589
# My world crumbles
when you are not near
476
00:26:55,590 --> 00:26:57,669
# Goodbye and I choke
477
00:26:57,670 --> 00:27:00,909
# Try to walk away and I stumble
478
00:27:00,910 --> 00:27:03,909
# Though I try to hide it, it's clear
479
00:27:03,910 --> 00:27:07,989
# My world crumbles
when you are not near
480
00:27:07,990 --> 00:27:10,509
# Goodbye and I choke
481
00:27:10,510 --> 00:27:13,549
# Try to walk away and I stumble
482
00:27:13,550 --> 00:27:16,349
# Though I try to hide it, it's clear
483
00:27:16,350 --> 00:27:20,350
# My world crumbles
when you are not near. #
484
00:27:26,550 --> 00:27:30,149
You see?! It always works out
the way it's supposed to.
485
00:27:30,150 --> 00:27:31,629
Good night!
486
00:27:31,630 --> 00:27:33,150
One more time!
487
00:27:35,270 --> 00:27:38,629
# I try to say goodbye and I choke
488
00:27:38,630 --> 00:27:41,709
# Try to walk away and I stumble
489
00:27:41,710 --> 00:27:45,269
# Though I try to hide it, it's clear
490
00:27:45,270 --> 00:27:48,869
# My world crumbles
when you are not near
491
00:27:48,870 --> 00:27:51,989
# Goodbye and I choke
492
00:27:51,990 --> 00:27:55,109
# Try to walk away and I stumble
493
00:27:55,110 --> 00:27:58,149
# Though I try to hide it, it's clear
494
00:27:58,150 --> 00:28:02,550
# My world crumbles
when you are not near. #
495
00:28:10,230 --> 00:28:11,910
That's nice!
36027
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