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Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys.
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00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:19,829
APPLAUSE
# She's Mrs Brown
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# That's Mrs Brown
4
00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:25,670
# Oh, Mrs Brown. #
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00:00:32,110 --> 00:00:33,350
Thanks, Mammy.
6
00:00:53,030 --> 00:00:54,230
Ah, thanks, Mrs Brown.
7
00:00:58,301 --> 00:01:02,520
Still looking, love? Yeah. Nothing.
There's just no jobs going!
8
00:01:02,622 --> 00:01:07,709
And with the baby on the way,
we have to get our own place!
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00:01:07,710 --> 00:01:10,150
Something will come up.
10
00:01:12,710 --> 00:01:19,169
Hello! Well, there's a new Brown
due. Getting closer every day!
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Foot! Foot! I don't care what it is,
as long as it's a girl!
12
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,759
How do I look? I'm on a diet.
13
00:01:28,870 --> 00:01:31,269
Yes, it's called the
Cook And Kids diet.
14
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I cook toast
and the kids feckin' eat it!
15
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I'm serious, listen.
16
00:01:37,870 --> 00:01:40,309
Maria, put some bread in that
toaster!
17
00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:42,230
Oh God, no more toast for me,
Mrs Brown.
18
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See? It wouldn't be for me.
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00:01:44,910 --> 00:01:46,709
I don't feckin' eat toast.
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00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:49,389
See ya later, pussycat!
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00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:52,269
Your shoe? Where's your other shoe?
The other shoe?
22
00:01:52,270 --> 00:01:53,789
Shoo! Shoo!
23
00:01:53,790 --> 00:01:56,270
Your other... Ah, feckin' hop!
24
00:01:58,950 --> 00:02:01,629
Mammy, what would it be like to
work in a lighthouse?
25
00:02:01,630 --> 00:02:03,189
A lighthouse?
26
00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:06,430
You'd have to run around in a circle
to read your book.
27
00:02:07,790 --> 00:02:10,450
And you'd have crabs
all over your rocks!
28
00:02:10,451 --> 00:02:13,109
It would be worse than
your holiday in Malaga.
29
00:02:13,110 --> 00:02:19,749
Ah no, seriously, Mammy.
I have to get a better job.
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00:02:19,750 --> 00:02:21,509
A lighthouse?
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00:02:21,510 --> 00:02:25,110
Well you'd be lonely ...
and you could be away for weeks!
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00:02:26,270 --> 00:02:28,629
No, three days a week.
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00:02:28,630 --> 00:02:31,149
Three days a week,
in a lighthouse?
34
00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:32,909
Where's this lighthouse?
35
00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:33,950
Birmingham.
36
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,389
Show me the ad.
37
00:02:38,055 --> 00:02:41,349
"Person wanted, three days
a week for light house work."
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00:02:41,350 --> 00:02:44,910
You feckin' eejit!
No wonder you can't get a job.
39
00:02:44,911 --> 00:02:48,469
You feckin' eejit!
40
00:02:48,470 --> 00:02:52,789
Who's an eejit? Your brother!
You'll get no argument from me.
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00:02:58,110 --> 00:03:01,549
I'm allowed, it's my job.
Thanks, Mammy.
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00:03:01,550 --> 00:03:04,310
Oh, and don't count me in for dinner.
I'm meeting Mick!
43
00:03:04,311 --> 00:03:07,069
He's going on a course
for special detectives!
44
00:03:07,070 --> 00:03:08,669
And is he, Cathy? Is he special?
45
00:03:08,670 --> 00:03:09,950
He could be the one.
46
00:03:09,951 --> 00:03:12,469
I used to call
your father that, the one.
47
00:03:12,470 --> 00:03:13,469
Awww!
48
00:03:13,470 --> 00:03:14,670
One bastard.
49
00:03:17,670 --> 00:03:20,509
It would be nice if it worked
out for her, wouldn't it?
50
00:03:20,510 --> 00:03:22,909
Yeah, great! That's all we need.
51
00:03:22,910 --> 00:03:24,150
A copper in the family!
52
00:03:24,151 --> 00:03:26,469
Mammy, Did you see my blue
canvas shoes?
53
00:03:26,470 --> 00:03:29,749
Ah now, where did I leave them
after me ballet classes?
54
00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:33,149
I'd wear these,
I suppose they'll do.
55
00:03:33,150 --> 00:03:34,589
You suppose they'll do?
56
00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:37,909
When I was a child you were lucky
if you had one pair of shoes.
57
00:03:37,910 --> 00:03:39,469
Here we go.
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00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:41,789
Don't make light of it.
59
00:03:41,790 --> 00:03:44,230
I got up every morning
and walked 6 miles to school.
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00:03:44,231 --> 00:03:46,469
7 miles to the nearest shop.
61
00:03:46,470 --> 00:03:49,150
4 miles just to go to mass.
You should have moved!
62
00:03:51,150 --> 00:03:54,629
Don't be cheeky, son!
And, you ... watch the time!
63
00:03:54,630 --> 00:03:58,950
Toast! Give me that feckin' toast,
give me that!
64
00:04:05,190 --> 00:04:06,790
Get out! Get out!
65
00:04:09,630 --> 00:04:12,789
Are you making toast there, Mammy?
What am I, the Toast Master?
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00:04:12,790 --> 00:04:15,070
I'm not going to be making
toast for every Tom,
67
00:04:15,071 --> 00:04:17,349
Dick and Harry that
walks into this house!
68
00:04:17,350 --> 00:04:21,470
Morning, Mammy.
Good morning, Trevor son! Toast?
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00:04:22,710 --> 00:04:24,110
Yeah, I'd love some!
70
00:04:28,710 --> 00:04:30,229
Right, I'm off.
71
00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:34,350
Be careful, son ...
it's a jungle out there!
72
00:04:38,350 --> 00:04:41,549
Trevor, you should go up
and visit Father Quinn,
73
00:04:41,550 --> 00:04:44,149
you haven't seen him
since you got home.
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00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:47,749
Mammy... And, I've done all your
washing. It's folded up nicely just
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00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,069
right beside your bed.
76
00:04:49,070 --> 00:04:51,470
And you should get
yourself into town, get
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00:04:51,471 --> 00:04:53,869
yourself a decent pair
of feckin' shoes!
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00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:55,590
I have to go back to the mission.
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00:04:56,870 --> 00:04:57,910
I know.
80
00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:00,909
When?
81
00:05:00,910 --> 00:05:02,829
This week. South Sudan.
82
00:05:02,830 --> 00:05:03,910
Not South Sudan!
83
00:05:03,911 --> 00:05:05,629
Do you know where that is?
84
00:05:05,630 --> 00:05:07,389
No.
85
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:10,909
Mammy, it was great to be home, but you
always knew it would be a short visit.
86
00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:14,629
Well, we'll give you a good feckin'
send off! No, you won't.
87
00:05:14,630 --> 00:05:18,669
Not like the last time,
no big party, no brass band,
88
00:05:18,670 --> 00:05:21,269
no big deal, and no tears!
89
00:05:21,270 --> 00:05:23,990
Jacko has an erection!
90
00:05:32,310 --> 00:05:35,950
An erection? Just like that?
91
00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:39,789
Just like that!
92
00:05:39,790 --> 00:05:44,590
He's lying there in the hospital,
his bed like a tent!
93
00:05:46,230 --> 00:05:49,829
Apparently it's a side effect of the
medication he's on for his heart.
94
00:05:49,830 --> 00:05:52,710
You must have got a shock!
I thought he was dead.
95
00:05:53,990 --> 00:05:55,990
I thought it was rigor mortis!
96
00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:02,589
Do you ever miss it, Agnes?
Miss what?
97
00:06:02,590 --> 00:06:04,710
You know. It.
The humpy-humpy thing?
98
00:06:06,270 --> 00:06:07,309
No.
99
00:06:07,310 --> 00:06:09,110
Not even a little bit?
Not even a teensy weensy bit.
100
00:06:09,111 --> 00:06:10,909
What's to feckin' miss?
101
00:06:10,910 --> 00:06:14,509
The smell of Guinness and chips
being breathed all over you?
102
00:06:14,510 --> 00:06:17,150
His chin like feckin' sandpaper?
103
00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:21,610
Taking advantage of me
whenever he liked ...
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00:06:21,611 --> 00:06:24,189
he'd come in and dive
on me, "AHHHHHH!
105
00:06:24,190 --> 00:06:29,710
"Take off me feckin' tights!"
106
00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:38,270
And all I could do was lie there and
try and keep me place in the book.
107
00:06:40,350 --> 00:06:43,389
The answer is no, Winnie.
I don't miss it one little bit!
108
00:06:43,390 --> 00:06:45,069
Ah, Agnes, you're gas!
109
00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:47,229
Here, I'm going to go.
110
00:06:47,230 --> 00:06:53,269
I might pop down to the hospital and
see if Jacko's any better.
111
00:06:53,270 --> 00:06:54,749
Or any bigger!
112
00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:58,629
Speaking of balls,
bingo at eight o'clock!
113
00:06:58,630 --> 00:07:00,349
See you, love!
See you later!
114
00:07:00,350 --> 00:07:03,269
Hello, Mrs McGoogan. Hello, son.
How are you, Mrs McGoogan?
115
00:07:03,270 --> 00:07:10,949
Look what the cat dragged in.
What the cat dragged! Ah, feck off!
116
00:07:10,950 --> 00:07:13,029
Just home for a quick cuppa!
117
00:07:13,030 --> 00:07:16,110
Well here, help yourselves.
I have to get Grandad
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00:07:16,111 --> 00:07:19,189
ready for sports day for
the old folks' home.
119
00:07:19,190 --> 00:07:21,910
He's entered in the long spit!
120
00:07:26,550 --> 00:07:29,310
I'm telling you, Dermot,
it's foolproof.
121
00:07:29,311 --> 00:07:32,069
The house is full of gear
and there's nobody there.
122
00:07:32,070 --> 00:07:33,989
Nobody? They own a circus
123
00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:36,829
and they pack up every winter
and go away until Easter.
124
00:07:36,830 --> 00:07:40,509
Circus people, Dermo. You know what
they're like for jewellery.
125
00:07:40,510 --> 00:07:42,029
Maria wouldn't like this.
126
00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:44,150
Don't bring her.
127
00:07:47,430 --> 00:07:50,269
All right.
Ah, fantastic!
128
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,670
But they have cameras.
129
00:07:53,790 --> 00:07:57,069
Leave it to me.
I'll get another costume from work!
130
00:07:57,070 --> 00:07:59,229
Ah, Dermo ... just like the old days!
131
00:07:59,230 --> 00:08:02,429
You and me like prowling cats,
132
00:08:02,430 --> 00:08:04,710
silent and invisible.
133
00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:09,509
CRASHING
134
00:08:09,510 --> 00:08:12,430
Ahhhhh! I'm OK!
135
00:08:21,550 --> 00:08:23,310
Buster, you look great! Come in!
136
00:08:27,950 --> 00:08:30,029
I think me ma's gone to the bingo!
137
00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:31,229
Who's that?
138
00:08:31,230 --> 00:08:32,630
Nobody!
139
00:08:33,870 --> 00:08:36,270
Hide! It's me, Mammy.
140
00:08:40,310 --> 00:08:43,150
Hello, son. Nice pyjamas.
141
00:08:44,510 --> 00:08:46,190
Grandad, I'm off to the bingo.
142
00:08:47,150 --> 00:08:52,629
Grandad ... it's over! It's over!
143
00:08:52,630 --> 00:08:56,070
Look, I know you are
disappointed with
144
00:08:56,071 --> 00:08:59,510
second place, but there's
always next year.
145
00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:02,630
If you're still here!
146
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:08,029
Dermot, I'm off!
Good luck at the bingo!
147
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:10,170
We have to make this quick.
148
00:09:10,171 --> 00:09:12,310
I need to be back before
Maria finishes her shift.
149
00:09:14,190 --> 00:09:15,950
Come on, let's go.
150
00:09:19,190 --> 00:09:21,149
What are you giggling about?
151
00:09:21,150 --> 00:09:25,429
You today, keeping
your place in the book!
152
00:09:25,430 --> 00:09:26,469
It's true!
153
00:09:26,470 --> 00:09:28,549
But making love, Agnes!
154
00:09:28,550 --> 00:09:32,869
Love, my arse! Making more worries,
making shitty nappies.
155
00:09:32,870 --> 00:09:37,509
Makin' HIM happy!
And you! Making you happy, too!
156
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:40,429
Ah, Jesus, Agnes, you can't tell me
you've never enjoyed it.
157
00:09:40,430 --> 00:09:44,989
Winnie, are you on drugs?
Enjoy what?
158
00:09:44,990 --> 00:09:47,510
You know, the organism.
159
00:09:59,270 --> 00:10:04,189
I never done one. I nearly did,
once. Not with him.
160
00:10:04,190 --> 00:10:07,470
Mary Murphy
told me to get a cucumber.
161
00:10:10,430 --> 00:10:13,229
I went down to the vegetable shop
to get it. The man said,
162
00:10:13,230 --> 00:10:15,290
"Will I slice it?
" I said, "Excuse me,
163
00:10:15,291 --> 00:10:17,350
it's a fanny not a
feckin' parking meter!"
164
00:10:25,230 --> 00:10:26,550
I don't think they exist!
165
00:10:26,551 --> 00:10:31,030
Oh, they do, Agnes, I swear it!
I done two.
166
00:10:32,070 --> 00:10:33,429
When?
167
00:10:33,430 --> 00:10:36,269
Well, one two weeks
after your Redser's funeral.
168
00:10:36,270 --> 00:10:38,549
BOTH: Lord rest him!
169
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:41,110
On a Friday.
And one the following August.
170
00:10:43,630 --> 00:10:45,189
And what were they like?
171
00:10:45,190 --> 00:10:47,830
Massive! Brilliant!
172
00:10:48,990 --> 00:10:51,189
Be specific, describe it!
173
00:10:51,190 --> 00:10:54,549
Well, at first, I didn't know what
was goin' on.
174
00:10:54,550 --> 00:10:58,050
He was floppin' up and
down like a dying whale,
175
00:10:58,051 --> 00:11:01,549
flip flop, flip flop, flip
flop, flip flop! Winnie!
176
00:11:01,550 --> 00:11:05,390
I know that bit, get to the part
where you feckin' harpoon him.
177
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:15,789
Well, there's me thinkin' to meself,
"Jesus, if this fella doesn't..."
178
00:11:15,790 --> 00:11:17,269
Yes. I know.
179
00:11:17,270 --> 00:11:18,669
"..I'll fall asleep."
180
00:11:18,670 --> 00:11:21,709
If you were awake to start with!
181
00:11:21,710 --> 00:11:27,269
Then suddenly, oh, I had this
feeling. A wave came over me.
182
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:28,430
Tsunami?
183
00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:34,389
It was like getting ten early
numbers at the bingo, Agnes.
184
00:11:34,390 --> 00:11:37,189
And you just knew something
good was coming!
185
00:11:37,190 --> 00:11:39,270
Ten early numbers!
186
00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:47,390
A shiver ran down me body, me hips
started jerking all on their own.
187
00:11:49,150 --> 00:11:55,269
Oh, I closed me eyes ...
it was like an explosion.
188
00:11:55,270 --> 00:11:59,270
I could see colours bursting in me
mind like fireworks.
189
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:06,349
And without me telling it to,
190
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:09,950
me voice gave out a little
yelp, "Arghhhh!"
191
00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:14,590
It's OK, it's OK! It's OK!
192
00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:19,549
Winnie! You frightened the
shite out of me!
193
00:12:19,550 --> 00:12:21,150
Sorry.
194
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:26,950
He just stopped and said,
"Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."
195
00:12:28,150 --> 00:12:30,709
Oh, I could hardly speak.
196
00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:35,549
"Oh, keep going!"
You know, I kinda whispered.
197
00:12:35,550 --> 00:12:38,490
But he just rolled over
and said, "You're all
198
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:41,429
right, love, I wasn't
in the mood anyway."
199
00:12:41,430 --> 00:12:42,949
He was asleep in seconds.
200
00:12:42,950 --> 00:12:44,109
Gone!
201
00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:47,589
I just lay there, Agnes.
202
00:12:47,590 --> 00:12:51,269
And I don't know why,
but I started to cry.
203
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:56,150
Now, I wasn't sad or nothing.
I just cried.
204
00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:02,150
Well that's it, love.
What do you think?
205
00:13:04,630 --> 00:13:07,149
Was that the first one or
the second one?
206
00:13:07,150 --> 00:13:10,470
Both. They were the same, only on
the second one I didn't cry.
207
00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:13,549
Did you tell him about them?
208
00:13:13,550 --> 00:13:15,589
Jesus, Agnes, I couldn't tell him.
209
00:13:15,590 --> 00:13:17,910
I'd been faking them
the last 30 years!
210
00:13:20,870 --> 00:13:23,790
Me too! I used to just go...
211
00:13:26,950 --> 00:13:28,150
What did you do?
212
00:13:28,151 --> 00:13:29,830
"Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!"
213
00:13:33,390 --> 00:13:35,669
Here, I need a fag after that!
214
00:13:35,670 --> 00:13:38,309
Winnie! What?
How long did they last?
215
00:13:38,310 --> 00:13:41,509
Seconds. Over in a flash.
216
00:13:41,510 --> 00:13:44,829
If they're that quick, I could have
had loads of them and just not know!
217
00:13:44,830 --> 00:13:47,770
Don't you kid yourself,
Agnes Brown.
218
00:13:47,771 --> 00:13:50,710
If you'd had one you'd know it for sure.
Believe you me!
219
00:13:51,950 --> 00:13:55,470
Oooh! Oh, yes!
220
00:13:59,310 --> 00:14:03,589
Well, thank you, Redser Brown.
Leaving me with six orphans
221
00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:06,430
and not one fuckin' organism
to show for it.
222
00:14:10,030 --> 00:14:15,349
I just can't, that's it.
I'm sorry, Professor.
223
00:14:15,350 --> 00:14:18,190
I can do anything else,
but I can't do this!
224
00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:21,470
Can't do what, Cathy?
225
00:14:21,471 --> 00:14:24,069
It's just a project for college.
It's nothing.
226
00:14:24,070 --> 00:14:26,629
I'm not doing it anyway,
so it doesn't matter.
227
00:14:26,630 --> 00:14:30,109
What kind of project?
Don't give up so easy!
228
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:32,549
Oh, a family group session!
229
00:14:32,550 --> 00:14:35,829
What's the problem? You've the
family right here under the roof.
230
00:14:35,830 --> 00:14:37,870
We're getting together
tomorrow for Trevor's
231
00:14:37,871 --> 00:14:39,909
send off, it's the
perfect opportunity.
232
00:14:39,910 --> 00:14:43,109
I'll tell everybody half-past seven.
233
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:46,509
What a lovely way to send Trevor
off but with a family group night!
234
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,789
But, Mammy, I know
everybody too well.
235
00:14:48,790 --> 00:14:50,429
I'll have nothing to work with!
236
00:14:50,430 --> 00:14:52,950
Of course you will. Goodnight, love!
237
00:14:54,790 --> 00:14:56,710
Who's that?
238
00:14:58,070 --> 00:15:01,189
Shhhh! Is everyone in bed?
239
00:15:01,190 --> 00:15:02,269
Yes.
240
00:15:02,270 --> 00:15:04,589
Come on, Buster. Take your time.
241
00:15:04,590 --> 00:15:05,830
Where have you been?
242
00:15:05,831 --> 00:15:07,869
In Emergency at the hospital!
243
00:15:07,870 --> 00:15:09,749
Oh, God. What happened?
244
00:15:09,750 --> 00:15:10,989
Long story.
245
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:13,670
Come on, Buster, one step at a time.
246
00:15:15,990 --> 00:15:18,589
We had a run-in with
a real live lion!
247
00:15:18,590 --> 00:15:21,109
You had a run-in with a lion,
dressed as a zebra?
248
00:15:21,110 --> 00:15:23,229
Their favourite food!
249
00:15:23,230 --> 00:15:26,350
The lion wasn't hungry.
He was horny!
250
00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:49,950
Nothing to work with?
You must be feckin' joking.
251
00:15:53,830 --> 00:15:55,510
You can sit in with us if you like.
252
00:15:55,511 --> 00:15:58,389
BOTH: No thanks, Mrs Brown.
253
00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:01,989
I suppose not,
you're not really family.
254
00:16:01,990 --> 00:16:03,869
Are we starting or what?
255
00:16:03,870 --> 00:16:05,989
Dermot's not here yet.
256
00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:07,430
Can't we start without him?
257
00:16:07,431 --> 00:16:09,430
It's Cathy's night, I'd leave it to
her! OK.
258
00:16:09,431 --> 00:16:13,749
Now, what Cathy's going to do first
is explain to everybody
259
00:16:13,750 --> 00:16:16,149
exactly what's going on.
260
00:16:16,150 --> 00:16:17,709
Cathy Brown!
261
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,429
You don't have to introduce me.
262
00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:21,430
Cathy Brown!
263
00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:27,589
OK, the basic structure of any
normal family...
264
00:16:27,590 --> 00:16:29,390
Or ours.
265
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,110
Cathy Brown.
266
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:39,469
The basic structure is identical
for every family, human or animal.
267
00:16:39,470 --> 00:16:42,589
Animals! Ha! I do animals!
Wait till you see it.
268
00:16:42,590 --> 00:16:44,030
SHE CLUCKS
269
00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:48,829
Watch this! What's that?
270
00:16:48,830 --> 00:16:49,869
A chicken?
271
00:16:49,870 --> 00:16:53,629
Yes! Well done, son!
Will I do a pig?
272
00:16:53,630 --> 00:16:56,430
Yes. "Is that feckin' car taxed?"
273
00:17:01,630 --> 00:17:05,490
This structure is called
the hierarchy structure.
274
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:09,349
The father at the top
of the hierarchy.
275
00:17:09,350 --> 00:17:11,270
LAUGHS
276
00:17:13,190 --> 00:17:15,470
Cathy Brown!
277
00:17:16,590 --> 00:17:20,069
The father at the top and the
youngest child at the bottom.
278
00:17:20,070 --> 00:17:22,190
And no matter what age
they are, once the
279
00:17:22,191 --> 00:17:24,309
family gathers in a
group situation,
280
00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:29,189
everybody unconsciously reverts to
their place within that structure.
281
00:17:29,190 --> 00:17:32,189
I'd like to use this session to
confirm that theory.
282
00:17:32,190 --> 00:17:38,709
So this is a family group talk, you just
say whatever you like. All right? Mammy?
283
00:17:38,710 --> 00:17:40,910
Mammy fuckin' bored now.
284
00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:46,869
OK. We'll start with you, Mark.
285
00:17:46,870 --> 00:17:49,629
What? Why me?
286
00:17:49,630 --> 00:17:53,629
Well, we have to start somewhere,
and in the absence of a father
287
00:17:53,630 --> 00:17:55,589
you're the eldest.
288
00:17:55,590 --> 00:18:00,030
All right ... my name is Mark Brown
and I'm an alcoholic.
289
00:18:05,430 --> 00:18:08,949
Look, if you're not going to take
this serious then there's no point.
290
00:18:08,950 --> 00:18:11,310
I think being an alcoholic
is feckin' serious!
291
00:18:12,870 --> 00:18:14,829
He's not an alcoholic, Mammy.
292
00:18:14,830 --> 00:18:17,030
Jesus Christ, Cathy ... you're
so... And it's not funny!
293
00:18:20,270 --> 00:18:22,669
You're so quick to judge.
294
00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:25,029
He's not, Mammy! Are you, Mark?
No!
295
00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:26,990
There!
296
00:18:28,830 --> 00:18:32,229
So, Mark. How was your day today?
297
00:18:32,230 --> 00:18:33,869
Grand.
298
00:18:33,870 --> 00:18:34,990
Oh, for God's sake!
299
00:18:34,991 --> 00:18:36,390
Were you drinking, son?
300
00:18:38,270 --> 00:18:41,869
He is not an alcoholic, Mammy.
301
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:45,030
Only an alcoholic denies
he's an alcoholic!
302
00:18:47,550 --> 00:18:51,149
Look, what I'm trying to do here is
just make small talk.
303
00:18:51,150 --> 00:18:54,189
Small talk.
Yeah, to sort of relax everybody.
304
00:18:54,190 --> 00:18:55,870
Chill. Cool, baby, chill!
305
00:18:57,750 --> 00:19:01,709
We can talk about things that
might be worrying us.
306
00:19:01,710 --> 00:19:03,030
Exactly!
307
00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:08,709
No, you don't have to
raise your hand.
308
00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:12,189
If you feel like speaking you just
speak. Go on, Rory.
309
00:19:12,190 --> 00:19:15,069
Dino has a verruca.
310
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:18,509
Rory, what the
hell are you talking about?
311
00:19:18,510 --> 00:19:21,869
No, wait, Mark. Has he, Rory?
312
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:23,789
That's very interesting.
313
00:19:23,790 --> 00:19:26,670
I'm on the edge of me buckin' seat!
314
00:19:27,790 --> 00:19:30,430
I can't wait for Verruca 2!
315
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:35,909
It's not the verruca
that's interesting, Mammy,
316
00:19:35,910 --> 00:19:38,149
it's the fact that Rory said it.
317
00:19:38,150 --> 00:19:40,430
I feckin' heard him.
318
00:19:42,110 --> 00:19:44,510
I am not buckin' deaf!
319
00:19:50,070 --> 00:19:51,390
Cathy Brown.
320
00:19:56,510 --> 00:20:00,309
Why did you pick that particular
thing to start with, Rory?
321
00:20:00,310 --> 00:20:01,989
Because you told me to speak.
322
00:20:01,990 --> 00:20:03,709
Good answer, son!
323
00:20:03,710 --> 00:20:09,109
Yes, but why Dino's verruca?
Does it bother you? Erm...
324
00:20:09,110 --> 00:20:11,590
Answer the fuckin' question!
325
00:20:11,591 --> 00:20:14,069
It's a simple question!
Answer the question!
326
00:20:14,070 --> 00:20:16,730
You give me 30 seconds ...
I'll get you an answer.
327
00:20:16,731 --> 00:20:19,389
Trevor, get me the hose
off the washing machine!
328
00:20:19,390 --> 00:20:21,470
Mammy!
329
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,430
I'm just doing good cop, bad cop.
330
00:20:26,990 --> 00:20:29,709
You're going down, perp! No deals.
331
00:20:29,710 --> 00:20:33,829
15 to life! CSI Miami!
332
00:20:33,830 --> 00:20:37,150
There's no need for any of that,
Mammy, so stop it!
333
00:20:40,710 --> 00:20:44,370
You see, the interesting
thing here is that
334
00:20:44,371 --> 00:20:48,029
a verruca is a niggling thing.
Niggling.
335
00:20:48,030 --> 00:20:52,029
Something that doesn't bother you
for a long time. Ah, years, yeah.
336
00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:54,469
And then suddenly gets very sore.
337
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:57,349
Yes! Throbbing! Throbbing!
338
00:20:57,350 --> 00:20:58,750
Was Dino throbbing?
339
00:21:03,230 --> 00:21:05,710
Rory, is there
something niggling at you?
340
00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:08,309
Cathy could be right, love!
341
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:10,829
Take off your shoe ...
I'll have a look.
342
00:21:10,830 --> 00:21:15,589
No, Mammy, I mean something bigger
than a verruca! Like a bunion?
343
00:21:15,590 --> 00:21:17,669
Oh, for Christ's sake.
344
00:21:17,670 --> 00:21:20,429
Sorry I'm late!
345
00:21:20,430 --> 00:21:23,230
It's all right, son,
you missed feck all!
346
00:21:24,830 --> 00:21:26,869
Cathy Brown.
347
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:29,349
You people just don't get it, do you?
348
00:21:29,350 --> 00:21:32,189
ALL: No.
349
00:21:32,190 --> 00:21:33,829
All right, here's an exercise!
350
00:21:33,830 --> 00:21:37,229
Come on, all of you
do this. Come on!
351
00:21:37,230 --> 00:21:39,429
# Hallelujah! #
352
00:21:39,430 --> 00:21:44,709
All right, now I want everybody to
reach into your past!
353
00:21:44,710 --> 00:21:47,389
Reach into the past.
354
00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:51,429
Cathy, if we're reaching into the
past why are we going forward?
355
00:21:51,430 --> 00:21:54,149
Because I said so and I know what I'm
doing ... OK. Reach!
356
00:21:54,150 --> 00:21:56,909
Rory, your past is not
that long. Get back!
357
00:21:56,910 --> 00:22:01,469
Reach in. Cathy, I am
reaching into the bag of my life.
358
00:22:01,470 --> 00:22:04,629
Well done! I am rummaging through
the sack of my memories.
359
00:22:04,630 --> 00:22:07,429
That's it. Jeez, I didn't know that
was there! Oh, no!
360
00:22:07,430 --> 00:22:09,909
You wouldn't believe what's
in here!
361
00:22:09,910 --> 00:22:11,509
Mammy, concentrate, will you!
362
00:22:11,510 --> 00:22:13,629
I am! OK.
363
00:22:13,630 --> 00:22:18,189
Now, I want you to find that
something that holds you back.
364
00:22:18,190 --> 00:22:20,549
Yank it out! Shake it at the world
365
00:22:20,550 --> 00:22:23,590
and say,
"Fuck off and leave me alone!"
366
00:22:26,190 --> 00:22:30,029
I'm cured. I am cured!
367
00:22:30,030 --> 00:22:31,830
Mammy, sit down!
368
00:22:36,310 --> 00:22:37,909
Cathy Brown.
369
00:22:37,910 --> 00:22:41,389
Mammy, the reason I want you to
reach into your past...
370
00:22:41,390 --> 00:22:43,909
Me bag.
..is so that you can understand...
371
00:22:43,910 --> 00:22:47,389
Understand...the way you feel...
The way you feel.
372
00:22:47,390 --> 00:22:49,869
Today! Today!
373
00:22:49,870 --> 00:22:52,590
What is she buckin' talking about?
374
00:22:54,950 --> 00:22:58,590
All right, I'll give
you an example.
375
00:22:58,591 --> 00:23:02,229
Mark, when I was nine you
tore my communion dress.
376
00:23:02,230 --> 00:23:05,829
Ahh, not the fuckin'
communion dress!
377
00:23:05,830 --> 00:23:08,370
You bring this up at
every family gathering,
378
00:23:08,371 --> 00:23:10,909
you ruined your father's
funeral with this!
379
00:23:10,910 --> 00:23:13,670
And everyone was having
such a good time.
380
00:23:15,430 --> 00:23:17,830
You know, I remember your father's
last words.
381
00:23:18,870 --> 00:23:20,070
"Ah, fuck. It's a bus"
382
00:23:32,350 --> 00:23:34,269
Cathy Brown!
383
00:23:34,270 --> 00:23:39,149
Mark,
that dress was important to me.
384
00:23:39,150 --> 00:23:41,509
OK, but I was only 12!
385
00:23:41,510 --> 00:23:43,069
Well, I hated you for that.
386
00:23:43,070 --> 00:23:45,109
Fair enough. I forgive you.
387
00:23:45,110 --> 00:23:47,709
Good boy.
You forgive me for what?
388
00:23:47,710 --> 00:23:50,629
You said you hated me.
I forgive you.
389
00:23:50,630 --> 00:23:53,589
He has a heart of gold! But you're
the one who's in the wrong!
390
00:23:53,590 --> 00:23:57,869
Excuse me! Now, excuse me! He
forgives you and he's in the wrong?
391
00:23:57,870 --> 00:24:01,229
What kind of jumped up feckin'
cycle-ology is this?
392
00:24:01,230 --> 00:24:04,869
You walk in here ...
you accuse him of being an alcoholic
393
00:24:04,870 --> 00:24:08,109
and then you won't accept his
forgiveness over one little tear?
394
00:24:08,110 --> 00:24:11,150
And you don't even attack
Rory for wearing the feckin' dress!
395
00:24:15,310 --> 00:24:17,749
Look it... it's all his fault!
396
00:24:17,750 --> 00:24:19,709
I'm not even sure it is a verruca!
397
00:24:19,710 --> 00:24:23,349
Rory! Shut up about
the feckin' verruca!
398
00:24:23,350 --> 00:24:25,469
Don't speak to my son like that.
399
00:24:25,470 --> 00:24:29,589
Ah, Mammy, shut up! And don't you
speak to your mother like that!
400
00:24:29,590 --> 00:24:33,589
This is a waste of time,
you know, forget it. Just forget it!
401
00:24:33,590 --> 00:24:34,709
DOORBELL RINGS
402
00:24:34,710 --> 00:24:35,950
Trevor, get that door!
403
00:24:35,951 --> 00:24:38,390
I'm glad my husband is not
alive to see this, to
404
00:24:38,391 --> 00:24:40,829
see his beautiful wife
being treated like this.
405
00:24:40,830 --> 00:24:44,749
Mammy, your husband didn't die.
He's just hiding on you!
406
00:24:44,750 --> 00:24:47,069
You're supposed to
be in control of this.
407
00:24:47,070 --> 00:24:49,349
I wouldn't put
you in control of cattle!
408
00:24:49,350 --> 00:24:52,429
Well, it's not my fault
my family are idiots!
409
00:24:52,430 --> 00:24:54,830
Well it's not my fault you
haven't got a penis!
410
00:24:59,110 --> 00:25:00,509
She hasn't ... has she?
411
00:25:00,510 --> 00:25:01,989
Eurgh!
412
00:25:01,990 --> 00:25:06,309
Oh, hiya, Mick, what a surprise!
Give me a minute, I'll get my coat.
413
00:25:06,310 --> 00:25:08,109
No, Cathy. I'm on duty!
414
00:25:08,110 --> 00:25:09,350
And who is she?
415
00:25:11,470 --> 00:25:14,069
He's on duty, Mammy. He's working!
416
00:25:14,070 --> 00:25:17,309
Sorry, I thought he said Judy!
Duty!
417
00:25:17,310 --> 00:25:19,269
Actually, I'm here to see Dermot.
418
00:25:19,270 --> 00:25:21,549
Dermot? For what?
419
00:25:21,550 --> 00:25:23,589
Can I speak to you in private?
420
00:25:23,590 --> 00:25:27,589
Anything you have to say to him can be
said right here ... we're all family.
421
00:25:27,590 --> 00:25:29,550
Yes, we're all family.
Well, not them two, really!
422
00:25:29,551 --> 00:25:31,509
They're not really...
423
00:25:31,510 --> 00:25:34,309
Maria, maybe I should talk to
Mick in the kitchen.
424
00:25:34,310 --> 00:25:36,469
Good idea,
everybody into the kitchen.
425
00:25:36,470 --> 00:25:41,749
No. Here. Now what is it,
Detective O'Leary?
426
00:25:41,750 --> 00:25:43,630
How did you know his name
was O'Leary?
427
00:25:43,631 --> 00:25:45,989
Because I recognise him
from the hospital.
428
00:25:45,990 --> 00:25:49,229
Oh, I've met him a couple of times,
in the children's clinic.
429
00:25:49,230 --> 00:25:53,469
She said that before ... yes.
Now what do you want here?
430
00:25:53,470 --> 00:25:57,229
Erm, I'm investigating an attempted
break-in at a warehouse in Portmarnock,
431
00:25:57,230 --> 00:25:58,630
last Friday evening. Jesus!
432
00:25:58,631 --> 00:26:01,829
Two men fitting
the description of Dermot Brown
433
00:26:01,830 --> 00:26:06,149
and one Buster Brady were
seen at the scene with a truck.
434
00:26:06,150 --> 00:26:09,069
At what time? 11:30.
435
00:26:09,070 --> 00:26:11,789
It couldn't have been my husband,
he was with me. Where?
436
00:26:11,790 --> 00:26:15,789
Here, they were here. Everyone in your
feckin' book, they were all here.
437
00:26:15,790 --> 00:26:20,309
I went to bed at about 12 o'clock.
I had to, the place was feckin' packed!
438
00:26:20,310 --> 00:26:22,650
Fellas with balaclavas
over there and fellas with
439
00:26:22,651 --> 00:26:24,989
stockings over their heads
over there, it was chaos!
440
00:26:24,990 --> 00:26:28,189
Mammy, they were here!
That's what I said!
441
00:26:28,190 --> 00:26:31,669
And would you both swear to that in
court? I would, twice.
442
00:26:31,670 --> 00:26:36,309
Dermot Brown was having
a night in with his wife,
443
00:26:36,810 --> 00:26:40,250
Detective O'Leary. Maybe you should
try doing the same yourself.
444
00:26:46,370 --> 00:26:51,530
Right, well... that's that then.
445
00:26:54,930 --> 00:26:57,730
Cathy, I can explain...
Don't!
446
00:26:59,770 --> 00:27:02,209
She's not very clear.
447
00:27:02,210 --> 00:27:03,650
Fuck off!
448
00:27:11,370 --> 00:27:16,410
"Family Group Session. What exactly
does the word family mean?
449
00:27:18,450 --> 00:27:21,329
"To take a cynical view,
450
00:27:21,330 --> 00:27:25,290
"the bonds of family can be the very
bonds that hold you back.
451
00:27:27,570 --> 00:27:32,289
"However, they are also the bonds
that support you, keep you
452
00:27:32,290 --> 00:27:38,609
"grounded, and teach you that above
everything else ... family is a place."
453
00:27:38,610 --> 00:27:42,649
"A place in your heart, a place where
no matter what troubles you encounter,
454
00:27:42,650 --> 00:27:45,250
"no matter where you
find yourself, you know
455
00:27:45,251 --> 00:27:47,850
in that place you will
always be loved."
456
00:27:49,090 --> 00:27:50,850
I read it this morning.
457
00:27:52,330 --> 00:27:53,649
I'll miss you
458
00:27:53,650 --> 00:27:55,250
I hope so.
459
00:27:56,850 --> 00:27:58,929
Goodbye, Grandad!
460
00:27:58,930 --> 00:28:01,050
Which one are you?
461
00:28:02,690 --> 00:28:04,569
The nun!
462
00:28:04,570 --> 00:28:07,169
Oh, right.
463
00:28:07,170 --> 00:28:08,192
Have a safe journey, son!
464
00:28:08,215 --> 00:28:11,012
I will, and thanks for not making
a big fuss of me leaving, Ma.
465
00:28:12,050 --> 00:28:13,809
CHEERING
466
00:28:13,810 --> 00:28:15,329
Mammy!
467
00:28:15,330 --> 00:28:18,769
MARCHING BAND PLAYS
468
00:28:18,770 --> 00:28:21,370
Well, what did you expect?
Good night!
35901
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