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1
00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:03,420
(male commentator on TV)
'And this looks like
it's gonna be'
2
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:05,088
'about a 38-yard field goal.'
3
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:07,298
'And Dallas better be..'
4
00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:09,634
What are you doing?
I was watching the game.
5
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:12,303
"Off Duty Cop" marathon.
6
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:13,972
I knew it.
You're a cop!
7
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,101
I'm an off-duty cop.
8
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:19,728
[jazz music]
9
00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:22,772
Oh, brother.
10
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,360
Aah! Hot coffee!
11
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,904
You know what's great
with hot coffee?
12
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,531
Coffee cake?
13
00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:34,159
No.
14
00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:35,744
Coffee kick.
15
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,498
Turn it back.
16
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,459
Unless you want a coffee kick.
17
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:45,879
You asked for it.
18
00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:47,797
'Hah!'
19
00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:50,550
[glass shatters]
20
00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:52,469
I gotta get a stunt man.
21
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:56,973
[theme music]
22
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:17,660
(male commentator on TV)
'The field goal is up,
and it's good!'
23
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:20,163
Yes! We're going
to the playoffs!
24
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:22,749
[machine drilling]
25
00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:24,876
[jackhammer whirring]
26
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,212
[saw buzzing]
27
00:01:27,295 --> 00:01:30,173
[hammer pounding]
28
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:35,094
[pounding continues]
29
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,056
What is this?
30
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:39,432
Goal post.
31
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:42,060
Well, I get to kick
a field goal at half-time
32
00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:44,020
at this weekend's playoff game.
33
00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:46,981
If I make it,
I get a million dollars.
34
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:50,235
Forget the million dollars,
you get to go to the game?
35
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:52,529
I don't care about football!
36
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:55,573
All's I cares about
is making that field goal.
37
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:56,866
Now step aside
38
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,244
'cause I got to get
to practicin'.
39
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:07,377
Uh, you do realize that if you
actually make a field goal
40
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,337
it'll go right through
my window.
41
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:15,802
Well, then you better get
the window repairman on the line
42
00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:19,138
'cause I'm about to
bust some glass.
43
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,187
You want me to go ahead
and get that window repairman
44
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:27,397
on the line?
45
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:32,235
[instrumental music]
46
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:33,820
I have some exciting news.
47
00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:35,947
- You finally got a girlfriend.
- Ah, no, I--
48
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:38,116
Okay, hot plates,
hot plates coming in.
49
00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:39,409
Fettuccine Alfredo
50
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,077
a personal pan pizza
51
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,745
and the meatball sub.
52
00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:46,916
Hey, Speedy, Porky finally
got a girlfriend.
53
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,835
Ooh! Good for you, Pinky.
54
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:51,588
I thought you're gonna be one
of those always-lives-alone guys
55
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:53,173
'who just gets more
and more desperate'
56
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,216
'until he alienates
the few friends that he has'
57
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,509
'and then he's just alone.'
58
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,553
So what a relief for you.
59
00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,388
Now when can we meet
this new girlfriend?
60
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:03,391
Ugh. I don't have
a girlfriend.
61
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,102
Well, stay in the game, Pinky.
62
00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:08,354
But maybe you should think
about growing a beard.
63
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,607
You got so much...face.
64
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,777
That was your exciting news
65
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,571
that you don't have
a girlfriend?
66
00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:19,240
No.
I got us playoff tickets.
67
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,451
What?
How did you get tickets?
68
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,411
They've been sold out for weeks!
69
00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:25,288
My uncle works
in the league office.
70
00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:28,249
Porky, I can't believe
we're going to the playoffs!
71
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,543
I'm picking up the tickets
this afternoon.
72
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:34,714
You know, I've never said
this before, but thangu.
73
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,425
You mean, "thank you".
74
00:03:37,508 --> 00:03:38,718
Is that how it's pronounced?
75
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:42,013
Well, then, thank you.
76
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:45,058
There's no two people
I'd rather go with.
77
00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:48,102
[chomping]
78
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,607
[dramatic music]
79
00:03:55,234 --> 00:03:58,196
[rapid heartbeat]
80
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:06,704
My friendship with Porky
is over.
81
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,499
- What?
- He ate my French fries!
82
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:10,625
What French fries?
83
00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:13,002
The ones that came
with my sandwich!
84
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,046
He probably thought
they were for the table.
85
00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:16,589
They were not for the table.
86
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:17,632
They were my fries.
87
00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:19,133
They came with my sandwich.
88
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,511
You want fries? Order fries.
89
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:24,514
But you do not take
someone else's fries.
90
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,849
That is a garbage move!
91
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:30,186
Porky is a piece of garbage.
92
00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:32,438
Don't you think you're being
a little dramatic?
93
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,983
I am not being dramatic!
94
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:38,861
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to walk myself home.
95
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:42,532
That's right, walk home through
this unsavory neighborhood
96
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:46,703
where I'll surely be sat upon
by ruffians and miscreants
97
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:50,123
street hustlers
and road monkeys.
98
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,417
None of whom, by the by
99
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:55,586
come close to being
the kind of garbage
100
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:58,381
that is Porky Pig.
101
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:00,008
Now good day, sir.
102
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,725
[siren wailing]
103
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:09,976
Bugs?
104
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:13,062
[instrumental music]
105
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:17,567
[horn honking]
106
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,079
Hey, I fixed your window.
107
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,040
'That'll be a $170.'
108
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:35,043
Bill me.
I'm about to be a millionaire.
109
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,427
Hyah!
110
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,223
[tires screech]
111
00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:52,977
Uh-oh.
112
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,773
[upbeat music]
113
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:00,568
[dog snarls]
114
00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:02,111
[Sam screaming]
115
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,531
(Sam)
'Down, boy! Down!
Whoa! Nice doggy, ow!'
116
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:08,284
[screaming]
117
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:09,994
'Down, boy! Down!'
118
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,207
[door opens]
119
00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:20,338
Don't you know
when someone's being dramatic?
120
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,299
[telephone rings]
121
00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:25,927
- It's Porky.
- Hide your French fries.
122
00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:26,969
Hey, Pork.
123
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,471
I just picked up the tickets.
124
00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:30,973
'Our seats are even
better than I thought.'
125
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,058
Oh, that's great.
126
00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:33,810
Daffy, Porky got the tickets.
127
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:38,940
Tell that piece of garbage that
he can keep his garbage tickets.
128
00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:40,942
- What did he say?
- He didn't say anything.
129
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:43,319
- It was nothing.
- It was not nothing!
130
00:06:43,402 --> 00:06:45,071
'I definitely said something.'
131
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,781
What's wrong with Daffy?
132
00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:48,658
I guess you ate
some of his fries.
133
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,076
What?
134
00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:52,745
Daffy's mad at you because
you ate some of his fries.
135
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,122
I thought they were
for the table.
136
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,873
He thought they were
for the table.
137
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:58,126
They were not
for the table!
138
00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,878
Relax, he just got us
playoff tickets.
139
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:03,798
- Let me talk to him.
- He wants to talk to you.
140
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,133
I'm not talking to him.
141
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,676
I'm not talking to you!
142
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:07,927
You ate my fries!
143
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,179
I thought they were
for the table!
144
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,098
Did you pay for those fries?
145
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:15,059
Because if you didn't,
then you don't get any fries!
146
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,603
Uh, I did pay for the fries.
147
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:18,980
I bought everybody lunch.
148
00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:22,567
Oh! So you think that
if you pay for a meal
149
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,735
then you get to eat
everyone's food.
150
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:27,446
Well, remind me to never pay
for anyone's meal.
151
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,949
You never pay
for anyone's meal.
152
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:32,493
That's because I have class.
153
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,872
But none of this matters
because I am not talking to you!
154
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:38,040
[telephone beeping]
155
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:41,043
How do you hang this up?
Tell him goodbye.
156
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,712
No, I'm not talking to him.
157
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,463
Tell him
I didn't say goodbye.
158
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,675
Porky, don't listen to Daffy.
159
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,552
All that matters
is you got the tickets
160
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,053
and we're all going
to the game.
161
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,097
'So what if you ate
a few of his fries?'
162
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:56,225
His fries?
You're on Daffy's side?
163
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,561
No, I'm not on anybody's side.
164
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:01,689
You know what?
Forget about the tickets.
165
00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:03,399
No one's going to the game!
166
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,610
[glass shatters]
167
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:20,750
[grunting]
168
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:21,876
[dog growling]
169
00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:25,046
(Sam)
'Aw, not again! Aah!'
170
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:31,594
What are you doing?
171
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:33,012
What does it look like
I'm doing?
172
00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:35,640
I'm putting the garbage
in the garbage can.
173
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,561
Those are pictures of me.
174
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,396
Well, you only had
two photos of Porky
175
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,481
but by then it was too late.
176
00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:44,774
I was on a roll.
177
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,109
Daffy, you've gotta
apologize to Porky.
178
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:50,488
Why? Because he's done so much
for me over the years?
179
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:53,115
Because he's shown himself
to be a generous person
180
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,118
of tremendous character
and integrity
181
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,162
and it's petty of me
to hold a grudge
182
00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:01,916
over a tiny, harmless
misunderstanding?
183
00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:04,001
No, because I wanna
go to the game.
184
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,878
Well, you can forget
about the game
185
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,797
because I'm not apologizing.
186
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,134
He thought they were
for the table!
187
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,221
Oh! So now you're taking
his side?
188
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:18,099
I'm not taking his side.
I'm not taking your side.
189
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,518
There are no sides.
It's French fries!
190
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:24,355
This isn't about French fries!
This is about morals!
191
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:25,690
You don't have morals!
192
00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:29,443
Well, then I guess
it's about French fries!
193
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:30,695
[slams door]
194
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,364
That's my room.
195
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,615
[glass shatters]
196
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:36,993
Your room, your problem.
197
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,624
Wow. Thank you.
198
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,334
Don't thank me.
Thank Daffy.
199
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,795
- It's from him.
- Really?
200
00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:50,047
He feels terrible about
what happened.
201
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,174
But how come he didn't
bring it over?
202
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,760
He was too ashamed.
He couldn't face you.
203
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,178
But he wrote you a card.
204
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,972
Here, read it.
205
00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:01,017
"Dear Porky, I'm so sorry."
206
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,977
"You were right, I was wrong."
207
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:05,604
"The French fries were
for the table."
208
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,441
"Dear Daffy, I'm so sorry."
209
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:10,901
"You were right.
I was wrong."
210
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:12,862
"They were your French fries."
211
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,780
"I hope we can put
this all behind us."
212
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:17,366
"Go to the game,
and be friends again
213
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,367
at the game."
214
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,870
"In friendship, Daffy Duck."
215
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:22,997
"In friendship, Porky Pig."
216
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,373
So what do you say?
217
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:28,044
Can we let bygones be bygones
and all go to the game?
218
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,545
Of course we can.
219
00:10:29,628 --> 00:10:32,381
I mean, just look at this
incredible gift basket.
220
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,424
I guess we can.
221
00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:34,467
But you've got to admit
222
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:35,968
that's a lame gift basket.
223
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,141
Twenty two, 23, 24.
224
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:44,018
There's only 25 people
in front of us.
225
00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,728
We're almost inside!
226
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,271
Playoffs!
227
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:50,608
Daffy, I'm really glad
we settled things.
228
00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:53,569
Well, it took a big man
to admit they were wrong.
229
00:10:53,652 --> 00:10:55,446
I couldn't agree more.
230
00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:57,031
Great.
Everyone agrees.
231
00:10:57,114 --> 00:11:00,409
Took a big man, there's no need
to talk about it anymore
232
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:04,830
because we're only 16, 17, 18
people away from the big game!
233
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,457
That was a really nice
gift basket.
234
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:09,668
You know, the thing about gift
baskets is they're so much nicer
235
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:10,920
when you don't talk about them.
236
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,546
I don't know about
really nice.
237
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,465
I mean, once you take off
the ribbons and the bows
238
00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:16,967
and all the straw, it's just
a couple of scented candles
239
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,052
and some weird fruit.
240
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:20,137
Whatever it is, it's over
241
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,056
it's done, we've moved on
242
00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:25,559
and we're nine, ten,
11 people away.
243
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:29,230
So let's just silently
bide our time.
244
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:31,357
Well, regardless,
it's the thought that counts.
245
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,609
- I agree.
- So, thank you.
246
00:11:33,692 --> 00:11:35,403
- For what?
- The gift basket.
247
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:38,280
- What gift basket?
- We're two people away.
248
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,366
Let's talk about this
when we get inside.
249
00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:41,617
The one you gave me.
250
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,452
You gave me a gift basket.
251
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,956
But why would I give you
a gift basket?
252
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:49,625
- Just give him your ticket.
- For eating my fries.
253
00:11:49,708 --> 00:11:50,876
You're holding up the line.
254
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,628
I thought they were
for the table.
255
00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:54,296
They came with my sandwich.
256
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,632
So you didn't get me
a gift basket?
257
00:11:56,715 --> 00:11:58,843
No! You got me a gift basket.
258
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:01,137
I didn't give you
any gift basket.
259
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:02,430
I got the gift baskets!
260
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:04,390
I don't care about
the French fries!
261
00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:05,975
I just wanna go to the game!
262
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:10,271
Well, no one's going
to the game!
263
00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:13,065
No!
264
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:16,402
I wouldn't wanna go to a game
with a piece of garbage, anyway!
265
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,155
Here's my ticket.
266
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:21,657
Kind of a long story.
267
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,951
'They had a fight.'
268
00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:25,327
French fries.
269
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:37,339
♪ When the snow flurries swirl ♪
270
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:41,969
♪ And we're all filled
with cheer ♪
271
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:46,098
♪ It's time to celebrate ♪
272
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:50,478
♪ My favorite holiday
of the year ♪
273
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:53,564
You know which one
I'm talking about
274
00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:55,024
Presidents' Day!
275
00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:57,318
♪ It's Presidents' Day ♪
276
00:12:57,401 --> 00:13:00,613
♪ It's time to reflect
on this wonderful man ♪
277
00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:02,531
♪ That we elect ♪
278
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,576
♪ Abraham Lincoln
and George Washington ♪
279
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:08,537
♪ Thomas Jefferson
and Alec Baldwin ♪
280
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,665
♪ Celebrate Oscar De La Hoya ♪
281
00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:13,083
♪ He fought off the British ♪
282
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:14,960
♪ So they would not annoy ya ♪
283
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,253
♪ Raise the flag ♪
284
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:17,922
♪ The stars and stripes ♪
285
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:21,133
♪ Our 41st President
Wesley Snipes ♪
286
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,928
♪ Charles Nelson Reilly
won the war ♪
287
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:27,640
♪ With the help of his mighty
Vice President Thor ♪
288
00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:30,434
♪ We were in trouble
at the Battle of Manila ♪
289
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:35,481
♪ But lucky for us
we had President Godzilla ♪
290
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,191
Thanks, President Godzilla
291
00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:41,028
♪ My country 'tis of thee ♪
292
00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:45,074
♪ Sweet land of Mr. T ♪
293
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:48,869
♪ And Mrs. T ♪
294
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:52,915
♪ They did so much for us ♪
295
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:56,752
♪ Like President Spartacus ♪
296
00:13:56,835 --> 00:14:00,881
♪ Who chopped down a forest ♪
297
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:05,803
♪ So we can have
softer toilet paper ♪
298
00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,304
Okay, this is really soft.
299
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:10,432
And now, let's salute
one of our greatest presidents
300
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,309
President Johnson.
301
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,270
Oh, no.
No, not that one.
302
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,230
No, no, sorry.
Not him either.
303
00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:17,690
Oh, there he is!
304
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:20,943
♪ So celebrate
our fearless leaders ♪
305
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:24,029
♪ Like Harrison Ford
and his VP Derek Jeter ♪
306
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:27,491
♪ And let's not forget
President Pacino ♪
307
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:30,703
♪ Who fought at the Alamo
with Robert De Niro ♪
308
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:33,372
♪ Celebrate
everyone's dancing ♪
309
00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:36,834
♪ For the first woman President
Scarlett Johansson ♪
310
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:40,296
♪ It's Presidents' Day
yeah yeah yeah ♪
311
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:44,133
♪ Oh yeah yeah ooh ♪♪
312
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,467
Oh, my gosh, I just sounded
313
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,761
exactly like President
Christina Aguilera.
314
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,722
[sighs]
That is so crazy.
315
00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:58,439
Somebody park this thing.
316
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,108
Excuse me. Pardon me.
317
00:15:01,191 --> 00:15:03,277
Uh, would you mind just
lifting your foot a little bit?
318
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,821
I think you're standing
on a piece of my ticket.
319
00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:08,907
Oh, nope.
Now you're standing on my hand.
320
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,159
Excuse me, coming through.
321
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:13,120
VIP. Million dollar VIP.
322
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:14,330
Sam?
323
00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:19,043
Meh, what's up, neighbor?
324
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:22,296
Out of my way!
I got a field goal to kick.
325
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:23,797
Well, good luck.
326
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,966
You're gonna need it.
327
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,510
What's that supposed to mean?
328
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:31,764
Well, if I only had one chance
to win a million dollars
329
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:33,390
I'd want luck on my side.
330
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:36,310
And you know, nothing's luckier
than a rabbit's foot.
331
00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:38,062
Ooh!
332
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,563
You'd be willing
to part with it?
333
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:42,691
No, you idiot!
Take me in there with you.
334
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:43,984
Oh, right.
335
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,203
Where do you think
you're a-going?
336
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:56,038
- Watch the game.
- Unh-uh.
337
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,540
You and them lucky feet
ain't leaving my side
338
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:01,460
till I kick that ball
through them uprights.
339
00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,462
A deal's a deal.
340
00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:04,713
[whistles]
341
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,507
[crowd cheering]
342
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:07,508
Fine.
343
00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:08,759
But after you kick the ball
344
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:10,761
I'm kicking you to the curb.
345
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:14,473
Ugh, I should have
just taken his foot.
346
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,400
(male commentator on TV)
'And Dallas better
be careful here'
347
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:26,735
'because New York's been better
than anyone in the league'
348
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,487
'at blocking field goals.'
349
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,406
Oh, hey, Pinky. Table for one?
350
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,283
I can get a girlfriend
any time I want.
351
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,827
Whoa, easy.
352
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:36,203
Why are you so defensive?
353
00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:38,539
Maybe that's why
you don't have a girlfriend.
354
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:39,998
No, it's that face.
355
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,750
Start growing a beard, man.
356
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,377
Can I just get a table?
357
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,796
Unfortunately, we don't have
any tables available.
358
00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:47,256
Packed house for the game.
359
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:49,383
If you want, there's a seat
at the counter.
360
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:54,513
[indistinct chatter]
361
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,227
Great.
362
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:04,106
Without question, I have
the worst seat in the stadium.
363
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:07,151
[panting]
364
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,031
Five minutes till halftime.
365
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,200
You know, you're missing
an incredible game.
366
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:18,620
[whistles]
367
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,372
[groans]
368
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,957
[grunting]
369
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,292
You're not wearing cleats?
370
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:26,795
Hah! These dudes
are my secret weapon.
371
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,465
A pointed toe makes the ball
fly through.
372
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,508
You're gonna slip.
You gotta wear cleats.
373
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:34,636
Ooh, I see what's going on.
374
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,513
You're jealous of me.
375
00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:39,349
You don't want me to win
a million dollars.
376
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:40,684
I'm not jealous of you.
377
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,561
Well, too bad for you
378
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:46,607
'cause the bootsies
is staying on the tootsies.
379
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:52,237
Come on, rabbit.
Bring your feet.
380
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,457
Finally! I'm gonna see
some action.
381
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,878
[crowd cheering]
382
00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:13,675
What's happening?
What's happening?
383
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:14,885
What happened?
384
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,428
(male announcer)
'Touchdown.'
385
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,390
Whoa!
386
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:23,894
[thud]
387
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:27,898
Should have worn cleats.
388
00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,025
Why, you razzle fra..
389
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,325
Uh, pardon me, doll
390
00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:41,453
but may I borrow
your nail file?
391
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:50,379
Oh, I'm sorry.
392
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:53,298
Is this for the table,
or is it just for you?
393
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:54,800
I'm not talking to you.
394
00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:56,134
Well, I'm not talking to you.
395
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,761
Too late.
You just talked to me.
396
00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,597
- Real mature, Daffy.
- Daffy.
397
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:03,308
- Stop copying me.
- Stop copying me.
398
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,394
- Daffy, stop it!
- Daffy, stop it!
399
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,813
- I'm serious!
- I'm serious!
400
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:09,273
- Ugh!
- Ugh!
401
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,275
(male commentator on TV)
'And it's halftime.'
402
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:13,068
'Now let's go back down
on the field'
403
00:19:13,151 --> 00:19:15,988
'as one lucky fan will get
a chance to kick a field goal'
404
00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:18,323
'for a million dollars.'
405
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:23,579
Are you wearing cowboy boots?
406
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:25,330
Cowboy cleats!
407
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:26,999
[laughs]
408
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:29,418
Come on, feet.
Lucky, lucky feet.
409
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:33,005
Alright, just kick the ball
so I can watch the second half.
410
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:51,231
[screaming]
411
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:56,570
(male commentator on TV)
'Ooh! You hate to see
that happen.'
412
00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:58,822
[Sam screaming]
413
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:03,452
Ay, he should have worn
more appropriate shoes.
414
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:04,786
Can I get you anything else?
415
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,246
I never got my side of fries.
416
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,581
What side of fries?
417
00:20:07,664 --> 00:20:09,374
The fries that come
with the meatball sub.
418
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,335
Fries don't come
with the meatball sub.
419
00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:13,545
- They did last time.
- No, they didn't.
420
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:16,048
I just gave them to you guys
compliments of the house.
421
00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:17,758
You know, for the table.
422
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,931
Well, that answers
that question.
423
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:25,599
You gonna eat that?
424
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,852
Is that Senor Bugs?
425
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:33,982
Aah! It hurts so bad!
426
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,026
'Why me?'
427
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,695
Well, someone's gotta kick it.
428
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:47,454
[intense music]
429
00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:50,916
[whistles]
430
00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:53,293
Hmm, I guess these feet
are lucky after all.
431
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:05,472
I can't believe you gave
the million dollars to cha-rity.
432
00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:07,683
- You mean "charity."
- Oh.
433
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:10,018
Is that how it's pronounced?
434
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,479
Hey, look over there.
435
00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:15,232
Porky got a girlfriend?
How?
436
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:17,818
[giggles]
437
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,872
I was right about
the beard, huh?
438
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,332
Maybe I should grow one.
439
00:21:37,587 --> 00:21:40,048
[theme music]
440
00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:06,825
That's all folks!
441
00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:09,619
[glass shatters]
29162
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