Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

Let's see what's for breakfast.

Hmm.

What have we here?

Yuck.

Does he have to put carrots in everything?

What are you doing?

Aah-h!

Eh, that wasn't an over-reaction.

[theme music]

You know that pie was for tonight's dinner party.

What dinner party?

- You kidding? - What?

Uh, the dinner party we're having

so you can apologize to all of our neighbors.

What do I have to apologize for?

How about for what you did on the 4th of July?

Happy 4th of July.

swoosh

boom

boom

Hey, freedom isn't free.

And for what you did on Easter.

Happy Easter!

Aah.

I don't know what the big deal was.

They were cage-free eggs.

And for what you did on Columbus Day.

Happy Columbus Day!

[rats squeaking]

Wha-a-t?

The rats represented the Nina

the Pinta and the Santa Maria.

If they didn't get it, that's their problem.

Besides, what do you care if the neighbors hate me?

I care because this is my house.

And one of these days, one of the neighbors

is gonna file a lawsuit against me for something that you did.

Relax.

It's not like I'm gonna live here forever.

If you're so worried about getting sued, I'll apologize.

But come on, have a little faith in our neighbors.

slurp

Aah, the suburbs.

Fostering the illusion of success since 1950.

slurp

My newspaper? It's been stolen.

crash

Daffy. Daffy.

click

bash

bash

bash

bash

What are we doing this for?

I don't know.

Let's see.

I came out here to get my newspaper.

It wasn't there and then I realized..

Someone stole my newspaper.

crash

bash

What are you so upset about?

I've never even seen you read the paper.

I don't read it. I do what normal people do with it.

Day by day, slowly build a paper mache parade float.

What parade are you in?

I'm not in a parade. I am the parade.

What did your parents do to you?

Bugsy old pal, there is a thief among us.

You just told me to have faith in our neighbors

and now you're insinuating that one of them stole your paper?

I'm not insinuating anything.

I'm simply implying in an unscrupulous and cowardly way

that one of our neighbors is a thief.

You're crazy.

- Am I? - Yes.

- Am I? - Yes.

- Am I? - Yes.

Daffy, no one stole your newspaper.

Where're you going?

I'm letting everyone know what time the dinner party is.

Oh, I-I'll come with you.

Daffy, you're not gonna accuse the neighbors.

No. I just wanna get some fresh air.

What did you think?

I was gonna start throwing accusations around?

Pfft, silly you.

Give me a little more credit than that.

[knocks on door]

Oh, oh-ho-ho, hello.

Knock off the pleasantries, grandma.

I know you stole my newspaper.

I-I'd ask you to forgive my friend.

But we'll be doing a lot of that at the dinner party tonight

which by the way, is at 8 o'clock.

See you then.

I know you stole my newspaper.

Your shoe shaper?

My newspaper.

What is a shoe shaper?

[dog barking]

[knocks on door]

What do you want, rabbit?

Just wanted to remind you about tonight's dinner party.

You mean, let's all forget about the horrible things

Daffy Duck has done party?

Yeah, I'll be there, once I get a better offer.

I've got an offer for you.

Give me back my paper.

Yosemite Sam's a lot of things.

A liar, a cheat, a false witness, a sore loser

a bad friend, a shady businessman

'a blamer, a flimflammer'

a hornswoggler, I'm cheap and I steals things.

But I am no thief.

Now, good day, sirs.

- What time's dinner? - 8 o'clock sharp.

Go home.

Fine.

Now.

I'm going.

What?

I want to watch you go home.

[laughs]

You have some serious trust issues.

You should get help, man.

[crows cawing]

Oh, uh, were you about to, uh, go somewhere?

What? You mean the broom? No.

I'm cleanin' my house.

I drive a minivan.

I'm sneaking around a witch's house alone

looking for a newspaper.

What am I doing?

[wolf howling]

Take a deep breath.

[crows cawing]

It's just a house.

A normal everyday witch's house.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

[screams]

So, I'll see you at 8:00?

I'm making carrot pie.

Pie?

Don't you mean carrot cake?

[screams frantically]

[engine starts]

crash

[tire squeals]

bang

bang

[alarm blaring]

Mm, mm-mm, that duck's apology list is gettin' long.

So, after all that, I still don't know which neighbor

stole my newspaper.

Interesting.

I have one question.

[stutters] Why don't you just get another paper?

It's the principle.

I hold myself to an extremely high moral standard.

I treat people and their things with respect

and I place the virtue of trust above all else.

[stutters] No, you don't.

Well, I expect it from others.

Come on, you're the only one who can help me

solve the mystery.

Don't tell Bugs, but you're my smartest friend.

[stutters] Mystery, huh?

You know, the key to a good mystery is the ending.

And, nine out of ten mystery novels

end the same way.

With a semi-flattering photo of the author?

[stutters] They end with all the suspects gathered under one roof

in what they think is an innocent dinner party?

I-isn't that an elaborate trap?

Wait, we're having a dinner party

for the neighbors tonight.

That's perfect.

Yeah, at tonight's dinner party, I can invite everyone to another

dinner party where I could spring my elaborate trap.

Huh.

Or you could just spring your elaborate trap

at tonight's dinner party.

Great idea.

I'm glad I thought of it.

Hmm, maybe I'm my smartest friend.

[Tasmanian Devil grunting]

♪ Oh there's a rumble in the backyard ♪

♪ It's a shakin' twistin' clown ♪

♪ Seems someone's pet is getting way upset ♪

♪ Oh there's something awful loud ♪

♪ He just swallowed up his doghouse ♪

♪ Knocked a barbecue into space ♪

♪ Then he sucked up Bugs' swimming pool ♪

♪ And spit out a tidal wave ♪

♪ Tasmanian Meltdown comin' ♪

♪ Tasmanian Meltdown comin' ♪

♪ Well you better start runnin' ♪

♪ When the ground starts hummin' ♪

♪ There's a meltdown comin' ♪

♪ I don't know what sets him off ♪

I don't know.

♪ Is he upset about a girl? ♪

No.

♪ It's anyone's guess ♪

♪ 'Cause he's not the best communicator in the world ♪

Don't judge me.

♪ We'd love to get him to settle down ♪

♪ But he just scratched through the wall ♪

♪ He got the police chasing after him ♪

♪ 'Cause he's headed for the mall ♪

♪ Tasmanian Meltdown comin' ♪

♪ It's like a hurricane comin' ♪♪

Oo-ha-ha-ha.

Pfft.

[dog barking in distance]

I can't believe I have to make another pie.

What're you doing?

You're supposed to be getting ready

for the dinner party.

Oh, I'm ready for the dinner party, alright.

What does that mean?

- Nothing. - Did you set the table?

Oh, I've set more than the table.

- What does that mean? - Nothing.

Did you keep the table simple?

It shouldn't look too elaborate.

Oh, ho-ho-ho, the table's not going to be the thing

that's elaborate.

[snickering]

- What's wrong with you? - Nothing.

[doorbell rings]

Welcome, suspects.

I mean, neighbors.

[maniacal laughter]

I guess no one's ever heard of maniacal laughter.

I guess no one's ever heard of bringin' a gift either.

I just wanna thank everybody for coming to Daffy's apology party.

I hope that after tonight, we can all agree

to let bygones be bygones.

ding

Ooh, and I've got a carrot pie in the oven.

So, save room.

Carrot pie?

Oh, I hope it's okay that I brought my son.

It's so hard to get a sitter these days.

Please let there be other women coming to this thing.

(Daffy on speaker) 'Greetings, everybody.'

'As neighbors you think you know each other well.'

'But what you don't know is that one of you..'

...is a thief.

[dramatic music]

Oh, it's one of those fun, mystery dinner parties.

Let us begin.

Everyone pick up your plates.

Uh, scary voice, my son doesn't have a plate.

(Daffy) 'Hold on.'

Here.

Thank you.

Where's the bathroom?

Just hold it.

(Daffy) 'Now, under your plate, you'll find a number.'

Ain't no numbers on these things.

(Daffy) 'What!'

(Daffy) 'Now, one of you has a plate with the number five on it.'

'Who has the number five?'

- I do. - So do I.

(Daffy) How did that happen?

There, now you have a three.

I have a three.

Ohh.

[laughs] What a fun party.

Everyone getting along?

Oh-ho-ho. Oh, yes.

The voice is having us do lots of things.

That's nice.

I, uh, think I smell burning carrots.

Huh! My pie!

Quick, what number do you have again?

Uh, uh, five.

Okay, you two switch plates.

Now, what number do you have?

Five.

Huh.

Open your eyes, grandma.

It's clearly a three.

You're a three.

I'm a three.

Why are you three?

I have no idea.

Do you want me to be a three?

Yes, thank you.

Finally, someone is cooperating.

[inhales deeply]

Now, who has the number three?

I'm hungry. Can we eat first and then play the game?

It's not a game. It's a trap.

An elaborate trap designed to extract a confession

'from one of you dirty thieves.'

And then, we'll have an apology party, alright.

But the apologies are gonna be to me.

Now, one of you stole my newspaper. Confess.

[all gasp]

Really? You're really going there?

Yeah, I'm going there.

Where is he going?

Because if you go there, I will go there.

And you do not wanna be there when I get there.

Because when I get there, I will be so there

that you will wish you'd stayed right here.

Me? What about you?

You don't care about your neighbors.

You're just scared one of them's gonna sue you.

[nervous chuckle] You're crazy.

I'm crazy?

You're the one who made carrot pie.

I mean, carrot pie?

Ever heard of carrot cake?

That's an actual dessert, made with carrots.

And do you make it? No. You make carrot pie.

A thing no one eats.

Mmm, mmm.

Mmm, mmm. Mmm.

This party blows, I'm goin' home.

Well, I'm not goin' anywhere until I get an apology

for everything this fool has done.

I mean, turnin' a bunch of rats loose on Columbus Day.

Who does that?

The same jackanapes who darn near burned my house down.

And by the way, you don't go accusin'

your neighbors as stealin' somethin' without any evidence.

Especially somethin' as dumb as a newspaper.

I mean, come on, read the internet.

For the last time, I don't read it.

Hasn't anyone seen my parade float?

You heard the witch, uh, I mean, lady.

You owes us all an apology.

Well, say you're sorry.

Uh..

You can't say it, can you?

I can say it, uh..

Then say it.

I'm sally.

Did you just say you're Sally?

I'm saggy.

You're saggy?

I'm sarmee.

You're the worst neighbor I ever met.

And I should know.

Before I met you, I was the worst neighbor I ever met.

Yeah, it's still a close call.

You're the biggest monster in this neighborhood.

That's sayin' a lot.

He's an actual monster.

[indistinct chatter]

[whistles]

I have something to say.

I like him.

[spits]

My life is so boring.

But tonight was the most fun I've had in years.

And it's all thanks to him.

Oh-ho-ho, well, you've got to admit

our street got a lot more interesting when he moved in.

Huh, that is true.

It was certainly the most memorable

Columbus Day I ever had.

I've been meanin' to ask you.

Did the rats symbolize the colonization of the New World

by comparing the arrival of the Europeans

to a infestation of vermin?

I didn't follow any of that.

[laughs]

What? I'm serious.

I didn't understand anything you just said.

[laughs]

So, let me get this straight.

No one wants to sue me.

Sue you?

Come on now.

Have a little faith in your neighbors.

That's what I said.

Mmm.

Are we ever going to eat?

Why not?

I have something I'd like to say.

Which one of you stole my newspaper?

I'll drink to that.

[laughter]

[theme music]

meep meep

meep meep

No newspaper, huh?

Just the mail.

Bill, junk mail, weird charity.

Ho-ho-ho-ho, huh, how many renewal notices

is that stupid newspaper going to send me?

crash

Huh! No one stole my newspaper.

I forgot to renew my subscription.

bash

Ironic. Done in by his own creation.

bang

Oop, forgot to set my parking brake.

[theme music]

Is this the bathroom?

(Daffy) 'No! Go home!'