All language subtitles for Being.Erica.S01E11.720p.x265-ZMNT

Control.

You might call it
a life long obsession.

Within a year of birth,
we're already throwing fits,

trying to control everything
and anything

that touches our lives.

Who's the cutest dude ever?

It's Max.

He's four weeks.

By now, he should've put on
at least three pounds;

He's only put on
two and a half.

Oh, that's just
a half a pound though.

Look at him, he's fine.

Our addiction to control
starts early,

and it doesn't end there.

The terrible twos,

the teenage years.

Our whole lives are a constant
battle between what we want

and what stands in our way.

Breastfeeding doesn't
just happen, you know?

I mean, so what if I'm not
feeding him right?

What if he's like...

what if he's starving?

Hey, look at me.
You're doing a great job.

Yeah.

I'm tired, you know?

Max sleeps all day

and then at night
he just wants to...

feed, like, every hour.

Jude, sit. Sit.

Look, you need a break,
seriously.

Um, Katie,
she's coming into town

for the author's festival
on Saturday.

Why don't you come?

You know, get Anthony to be
on little Max detail.

Can I give you a tentative yes?

Of course.

Oh my God,
do not look behind you.

Oh. What's going...

Oh, hey, Judith,

Oh, you got Max out.
Great.

Hello.

Erica? What are you
doing down...

Oh!

Yeah.

Hi. Max just dropped
his little teething ring.

Teething?
Ah. Already.

Growing boy.
Right.

Well, I better get
my caffeine fix in me

before battling a classroom
full of nine-year-olds.

See you around.

River Rock's annual
festival of authors

is one of this city's
primo events, so...

how is this very important day
shaping up?

Brent?

Well, we'll kick things off
with a dose of caffeine,

thanks to "the history
of coffee."

Wake me up
before you go-go.

Mm.
And then Katie Atkins

will give us a sneak peek
from her first book,

"The None."

"The None?"
hm, what's that again?

Oh right, it's only my favorite

new self-help title
of the year.

And we have great,

great things planned
for this, Julianne,

trust me.

Impress me.

Otherwise this little "foray"

into the world
of junior editor?

More like a detour.

I would not wanna be
in your shoes and...

and not just because
you're wearing

cheap Patrick Cox
knock-offs.

That's funny.
Listen, I know

that the stakes are high,

but I have got great big plans.

Okay, start off
by having Katie read

the first two chapters
of the book.

Hello, she only has
two chapters.

And then I thought

we could stage
a conversation between,

you know, Katie and a friend,

over wine;

Bring "The None" to life.

Two words: Kim Cattrall.

The actress?
Yes!

We hire her to play the friend.

Uh, you know that's one way
that we could do it

for sure, but I was, um...

I was thinking of something
just a little more real.

Real?

Real, yes.
Authentic.

Getting an everyday woman,
bringing her on-stage.

It's about selling
the dream, Erica.

Selling the dream.

I know, but there's
a difference

between the dream
and a fantasy.

And that's the whole point
of the book.

It's just to cut through
all that Hollywood,

happily-ever-after,
Cinderella crap.

Interesting,
but real people can't act,

real people can't stick
to a script.

So if you want my help,
I think we should...

actually, Julianne put me
in charge of the title,

So, I'm launching it
the way I want to.

Hmm. Well then,
good luck with that.

B-B-Brent.
No-no-no-no-no.

No, really,
you make a really mean latte,

so, I'm sure you're totally
qualified to launch a book.

On your own.

Control.

It's a dangerous obsession.

Take it too far...

and you could risk losing it
altogether.

d it's clearer inside of me d

d who I will always be d

d open me up to my heart d

d feels like I'm seeing
in the dark d

d waking me up to my heart d

d to do it all over
again and again d

d until the end d

d the sum of my dreams d

d and everything
I ever wanted to be d

So, just ignore the camera

and tell us anything
you want to about love.

I mean, I have a lot
to offer a guy.

Mm-hmm.

At least I think I do.

Maybe I don't.

The last guy I dated

dumped me for some skinny chick
from his rock climbing club.

If there's a God,

that dick
and his anorexic bitch

will both plummet
to their deaths.

Give me a tight bod,

a heartbeat, and nipple clamps,

and I'm a happy girl.

Oh, well...

when you're in your 20's
and you break up with a guy,

you think,
"pfft! Whatever.

No biggie,
I'll just move on."

And then you hit 30,

and you're lucky if "the one"
is even a one night stand.

I don't know,
if it's this hard at 33,

what's gonna happen
when I'm 40?

This is what keeps me up
at night,

in my bed,

Alone.

Oh, Andrea, thank you.

Thank you, we'll be making
our decision shortly.

Well, it was good to meet you.

You as well.
Absolutely. Bye.

Well, I think we found
our girl.

Me too.
I loved that girl

with the rock-climbing
boyfriend;

She was righteous.

Meeri, she was terrifying.

I meant...
I mean, I meant Andrea.

Andrea? I guess.

Oh, you don't like her?

She seemed kinda...
pathetic.

Pathetic? No, I think that
she was just being honest.

Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.

Ah, I mean, what do I know?

Hey, listen, I'm interested
in your opinion, okay?

I'm not one of those
crazy bosses, like...

like Julianne?

Uh, all of the admin assistants
are terrified of her.

Listen, I have a really
big job for you, okay?

I want you to be in charge
of finding the table

and the chairs
for the girl launch.

Me? Really?

Yeah. Make the re-enactment
like a place that, you know,

you and your girlfriends,
you'd like to hang out at.

I know.
I won't disappoint.

A lot riding on this.

Oh, she's fantastic.

I mean, did you send
the right picture?

Meeri, the re-enactment,
it needs to...

you know, sell Katie
and the concept of the book.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, okay. Wood, yes.
Exactly. Perfect.

Uh-huh.

Thank you.

Okay, see you tomorrow, bye.

Erica, I know you're up,

I can hear you through my wall.

Hey.
Hi.

I guess, you're, um...

here to talk about
this morning?

This morning...
the last two weeks.

Look, Ethan, I told you,
that I need time.

You also said
this would be temporary.

That we'd go back
to being friends.

This is temporary.

I'm just insanely busy
with work right now.

I see that.
Any way I can help?

No, it's late.

I'll nap tomorrow
during recess.

Sorry.

Look, I know you need time,
I hear you.

But for the record,

I-I hate this.

Anyway, don't stay up
too late, okay?

Hey, look,

Um, it's my first big
book launch this Saturday,

if you wanna come?

You...

I'm gonna be busy,
I'm gonna be running around

like a chicken
with his head cut off,

but Jude should be there

and, you know,
Katie, of course.

You know, it's Claire's
weekend to visit.

Oh.

Uh, well, you know,
invite her too.

Really?
Yeah.

You're sure?

Great.
Well, we'll see you there.

Okay.
That's great.

Meeri,
everything looks perfect.

Except for, you know,

I did ask for lilies,
not hydrangeas.

Ooh, sturdy table,

comfy chairs.

Pour me a glass of wine, Katie,

and I'll bearing my heart
and soul to you.

One glass of wine
coming right up.

So, we have everything
under control.

And you're gonna love
the "real girl" we hired.

She's amazing.

Yeah. Ooh, thanks.
Mmm.

Oh, wow, memories of Communion.

Meeri, it's like I told you
the other day, all right?

we're aiming for something
really special here,

and there is nothing special

about a cheap bottle
of screw-top wine.

It's fine.
The audience won't know.

Yeah, but Julianne will.
Okay, so go.

Okay, don't spend less
than $30.

Make sure to keep a receipt.

Well, look at you,
Ms. Taskmaster.

Only because Meeri's
turning me into one.

It's like I have to hold
her hand

for every tiny decision.

There he is!

Judith,
he is absolutely adorable.

Yeah,
he'd be even more adorable

if he'd stop screaming
for five minutes.

Oh, can I hold him?

Maybe I can help.

Uh, wow, I thought that Anthony
was gonna watch over Max?

He was...
and then work called.

Wow! That's quite the set
of lungs you got on you.

No, Brian's shaving habits
are not perfect,

but I'm not perfect either...

So true.

...And I'm the one for him.

Be nice.

Hey, sorry we're late.

We had to park all the way
over on Harbord Street.

Oh no, that's fine.
Katie just started.

Such a big dream of yours
finally coming true.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

...Is not that she's unrealistic, no.

She's been led astray.

She's trying so hard
to find "the one"

that all that she's left with
is "The None."

And that is the end
of the first chapter

from my new and first book.

Woo-hoo.

Looks like you have
a probable hit

on your hands.

Now I would like
to introduce to you...

Oh, she's great,
you're gonna love her.

... Andrea Traub.

Hi.

Andrea and I are gonna have
a little session here,

a little girl talk.

Well, here's the thing...

oh, by the way, Katie,
I love your column.

Oh...
Love it.

Vino! May I?

Okay, here's the thing.

I'm young, I'm hot,

and I make a six figure income.

And yet you sleep alone.

Which is the plight
of so many women.

Sharing my bed?
Technically, not the problem.

Ah hell,

I share my bed, two,
three times a week.

It's just it's...

It's never with the same guy.

Oh, unless, do twins count?

Uh... twins?

Yeah, two for the price of one.

Oh my God,

I met the most gorgeous
set of Armenian twins

at the Drake last weekend.

Friday night it was Armen,

Saturday night it was Arsen.

Quiet, hey, Max.

Max, honey,
now is not the time, okay?

... and then Armen.

Wow, who chose the horn dog?

And Sunday was supposed
to be a threesome,

but I think that woulda
been weird, right?

Maybe you should get her
off the stage, you know?

I've put on my share of events

for tourism Quebec.

Okay, thank you, Claire.
You know what?

I'm just gonna waltz up
on stage and do that

'cause no one will notice
a thing.

It's a great idea.
It's great.

I'm gonna go get a coffee.

I'll wait for you outside.

Claire...

Good one.

Listen,
I'll be right back, okay?

Shh-shh-shh.

Hey, Ethan! Ethan!

She's just trying to help!

I know. So, why couldn't
you just be nice to her?

I mean, you say you
wanna be friends.

You know,
I do wanna be friends,

but I also told you
that I need time.

Then why did you
invite me here today?

Because you were
guilting me out.

Guilting you out?

I just want everything
to be like it was.

That is the point, Ethan,
it can't be, okay?

It can't.
And you-you just...

I what, Erica?

You just, you know,
you coast along

and you refuse
to deal with anything.

What I can't deal with is this.

No, you know what?
Hey!

You wanted to talk?
This is me talking.

This is me saying what
I've wanted to say to you

since you gave Claire
a second chance.

Because I don't get it.

I mean, she cheated on you
and then she dumped you.

And the second she expresses

the tiniest little bit
of doubt,

there you are, and you're
right back at her feet.

We were married for ten years.

Oh, don't give me that.

You know, if you were still
so in love with her,

then why did we kiss?

Huh?
Why are you still in Toronto

when you should be in Montreal

working on your marriage?

You're just...
You are terrified,

you are terrified
of making a decision,

of committing to anything,

and that is why you and I
are at the impasse

that we're at.

And I am tired of it,

I am tired of you
holding our past

for emotional ransom.

Dr. Tom?

Over here.

The lotus position.

Also known as padmasana.

Yoga prepares the body
for meditation

which allows us
to observe our thoughts,

So that we're not
controlled by them.

Also lights a fire
under your kundalini.

Pardon me?

Please, sit.

The goal here is to harmonize
the mind with the body.

To keep the focus...

here.

You know, as opposed
to everything going on

up here.

You should give it a go
sometime,

it might do you some good.

So...

Well, everything is a disaster.

I mean, the launch...

and Ethan.

I mean, my God,
after what I just said,

I don't think that he's ever
gonna forgive me,

but you know what?
Everything that I said,

it was the truth.

He just...
he didn't wanna hear it.

He didn't wanna believe it.

So, what did he say in return?

Wha... Ethan, speak?
Please.

He's become this
emotionally paralyzed thing.

I mean, a few weeks ago
I told him that I loved him

and now, I would...

I would rather hang out
with Claire.

Well, you know,

all friendships do go through
their rough patches.

Mm-mm.
No, this is more than that.

It just,
it feels like the foundations

have been ripped out
of our friendship.

I should have never
kissed Ethan.

Hmm.

Ah.

Well, go ahead then.
And do what?

Well, add it to the list then.

Kissing Ethan.

I can do that?

I mean...
I can just add that?

"He who controls the present,
controls the past."

"He who controls the past,
controls the future."

George Orwell.

Okay.

Kissing... Ethan.

Done.
So, tell me.

Okay, um...
it was a few months ago.

As you know,
it was my high school reunion

And I brought Ethan
as my date.

More like fake boyfriend.

Uh, but that night

he did everything
that a boyfriend should.

He was just
so incredibly caring.

loving, actually.

And I don't know if it was
that I was vulnerable,

or that he was too,
but...

I kissed him.

And at the time it felt like
the most natural thing

in the world.

I kissed him and nothing
has been the same since.

It destroyed our friendship.

If I could go back,
I would not kiss Ethan.

I wouldn't,
I wouldn't put us in jeopardy.

well...

you know, avoiding that kiss

is not gonna undo any feelings

that you have now,

your love for him.

But that's my problem,
it's not his.

Namaste.

Oh my God!
Erica, are you okay?

Yeah. No, I'm fine.
I'm fine.

Wowzer,
it's getting really late,

so, I'm gonna go.
Um, uh...

Uh, don't forget
your ice cream,

it's gonna melt.

Uh, thanks, Ethan.

Okay, good night.
Bye.

Okay.

Hello?
Hey, Jude, it's me.

Erica.

Why are you calling me
so early?

I thought that you'd be up.

Up?

I didn't leave the reunion
'til...

It must've been, God, 2:30.

The reunion. The...

Right, last night.

Yes.

Are you okay?

Yeah, no, I'm fine.

Sorry. Uh, hey listen,
go back to sleep.

No, we gotta get brunch going.

But the brunch...

I remember that I cancelled
the brunch.

Erica, what's going on?

About 20 of your closest friends
and classmates

are about to descend
on your place.

I know, I'm just sorry,
I'm still half asleep.

But, uh, brunch is...
it's gonna be great.

Um-um, I'm gonna,
I'll see you soon, okay?

Oh God.

Oh, hey! Whoa!
Hey, let me help.

Oh, I got it.
Oh, I think I got it.

That's okay.
Okay, thanks.

Um...

So, um...

you left in a real hurry
last night.

Oh, no, you know what?
I was just...

I was just really tired and...

I had to get up early
for this brunch thing, so.

Brunch?
Jenny and Judith coming?

Jenny and Judith and a bunch
of people you don't know.

So it's kind of like
last night.

Oh.
I had fun last night.

Good, I'm glad that you did.

And thank you again.

Ah... Wow,

Bacon and French Toast
aren't gonna cook themselves,

I should get started on it.

I'll see you later, okay?

Okay, okay. Yeah.
Thank you. Bye!

What is it with "French"

in front of all
the foods we eat?

French Fries, French Toast,

French Onion Soup.
See?

Right.
Right, all right.

Anyway, back to Ethan.

Oh, come on,
there's nothing to tell.

I mean, there was like...
like a momentary

little spark between us,
but it was nothing.

Look at you,
sparking with Ethan,

sparking with Alex Berlin.

You, my dear, put me to shame.

Yeah, that is a hard choice

between the guy
that you lost it with

and the guy
that you've known forever.

Oh, come on, one night of sex.

in a canoe.
Hello?

Versus 15 years of history?

I mean that's hardly a fair fight.

Exactly.
You know Ethan, you love him...

I mean, like a friend.

Right.

Yeah, exactly, he's a friend.

He's a really good friend
and that's...

that's a friendship
that I don't wanna mess up.

Okay, but, I don't know,

you two guys just...

have just always seemed
perfect for each other.

Mm-hmm.
Well, you know what?

It's too much to risk, Jude,
believe me.

Erica, the best way
to get over a guy

is to get under one.

It's a fact.

And by under,
I mean Alex Berlin.

Oh, okay, Alex Berlin,

he thinks I'm a pathological
lying freak.

And he likes trains.

So what?
Oh my God,

if I had known back
in grade eleven

what I know now.

It would have been me
popping Alex's cherry, not you.

No, I do think that is
a great idea though.

His number's in
the alumni directory.

Yes. It's either Alex or Ethan.

You're way too pretty
to die and old maid.

Now I know it's a long shot,

but I'm just gonna call Alex
and invite him to brunch

and I'll forget to tell him
that it's here,

hosted by you, the freak.

Mm-hm.
Unreal.

There you go.
Enjoy.

There he is, you guys.
What do I do?

Go and say hello,
like a normal human.

I can't believe you called him.

Hi, Alex.

You're here.

Yeah, I am.
This is, um...

my apartment.

Oh.
Alex, please,

Look, I know that last night,
it was really unfair.

Uh, yeah,

Last night was...
bizarre.

Yeah, gee, I wonder why?

Maybe because I made up
a fake boyfriend

and then lied to you?

Yup.

Look, the reason
why did that is

because I knew that Katie Atkins
was gonna be there

and I was insecure

and I didn't want her to think
that I was this big loser

and then you just got caught up
in the middle of it.

I'm sorry.

Peace?

I promise that it's not spiked

with anything stronger
than champagne.

Mm, it's good.

Good, great.
Hey, listen, come on in.

Make yourself comfortable,
we've got lots of food.

Do you got eggs?
I love eggs.

Do we have eggs?

We got scrambled
and over-easy

and deviled and poached

and... eggs.

So, I played the French Horn
in band class, right,

and Katie used to pour
milk into it

and then the milk,
of course, would sour.

And then she would
tell everyone

that the bad smell was you.

You mean, people thought
I smelled like bad milk?

Kinda.

Ethan, hey.

Um, are you here for brunch?

Because we've got more
than enough food.

Actually, I'm here
to talk to Erica.

Erica? Wow, yeah.

Uh, you know she made
a great spread.

Why don't I make you a plate?
Great spread, so good.

Okay, what the hell
is going on?

You guys are acting
just as weird as she is.

Have I done something?

Um, Erica's actually
just right over there,

talking to Alex Berlin.

No, honestly,
Ethan and I are...

We're just friends.

I mean, he was in
on the whole thing.

Good.
Mm-hmm.

Ethan!
Erica.

Hey, when did you get here?

Just now.

Oh, I don't know that you guys
officially met last night.

Alex, this is Ethan,
Ethan, this is Alex.

So, funny, 'cause I was just...

I was just telling Alex
what amazing friends we are.

Nice to meet you.
You too.

Yeah, I mean, Ethan and I,
we met in university,

in drama class of all things,
right?

And we've just, we've been
best budderoos ever since.

The only difference between
Ethan and my girlfriends

Is that he knows how
to kill a spider

and hook up my PVR.

Right?

Nice to meet you, Alex.

You too, Ethan.

Alex, can you just
excuse me for one second?

Yeah, of course.
Be right back.

Ethan. Hey, where you going?

Home.

But...
Is everything okay?

I don't know, Erica?

You tell me, what have I done?

You haven't done anything?

Then why are you
treating me like this?

You ignore me one minute,

then we're all buddies
the next.

Hey, hey, hey.
Look, I'm not mad at you

or anything at all.
Uh...

Then why are you acting
so weird?

Last night, I was there
and I felt something

and know you did too,

And you're freaked out.
Hell, I'm freaked out.

You know what, Ethan,
I should probably...

I really should...
Erica.

You felt something, didn't you?

Ethan, even if I did, we're...

I mean, we're friends.

What does that matter?

Isn't that a good thing?

Yes.

Alex. Alex!

Oh!

Oh shit!

Oh... sshh... shit.

I kissed him again.

Who? Alex Berlin?

No, Ethan.

I'm going from upward dog
right into downward dog

and you're kind of
in the way there.

Hey, did you...
Thanks.

Did you hear what I said?

Oh yeah, you kissed Ethan.

It's not like
it's the first time.

Yeah, but it is
the first time again

and I wasn't supposed to,
but I did.

And why did I do that?
I mean, what is it?

Unavoidable?

What?

What if I was meant to go back
and not keep us apart,

but get us together?

What if I was wrong all along?

"We create our fate,
every day we live."

Henry Miller.

I wanna add another regret
to my list.

Erica.

It was the first term
of my undergrad,

and Ethan and I, we were...

we were in Drama class
together.

And because we knew each other
from residence,

he asked me to be
his scene partner.

Our first assignment,

it was the balcony scene
from "Romeo and Juliet".

I mean,
we were terrible actors,

but...

the scene,
it was incredibly romantic.

You know, reading poetry
to each other

and pretending to be lovers.

I mean, it was really hot.

But I wasn't looking
for a boyfriend

because I had just broken up
with my ex,

so, romance,

it was the last thing
on my mind.

So, I missed the obvious.

Ethan liked me.
He pursued me,

and I did everything
in my power

to keep us just friends.

But Claire, she had no doubts,
you know?

She just... she stepped right
into the vacuum, and then...

and then before I knew it
they were a couple.

And the rest is history.

And so, you wanna do what,
exactly?

I wanna go back

and become Ethan's girlfriend,

not his friend.

I wanna make up
for all those wasted years

that we could've been together.

Yeah, but you were together,
as friends.

So, you're sure
that you wanna go back

and rewrite that?

Yes. Yes.

All right, well, hey,

it's your list.

Just...

friends...

with Ethan.

My life were better ended
by their hate

than death prorogued
wanting of thy love.

Than death prorogued
wanting of thy love.

Where are we?

By whose direction foundest
thou out this place.

Right, I'm-I'm sorry,

I just, uh...
lost my train of thought.

Which means you are not
invested in the scene,

or in Shakespeare's words.

I'm sorry, Professor Thorsson.

That is all for today.

Your homework?

Practice, practice, practice.

I-I don't get it,

you were off book
way before I was.

I know, I'm so sorry, Ethan.

You know, I'm gonna be fine,
it was just nerves.

Right.

Hey, guys, good work.

I'm jealous.

I'm play Lady Macbeth

and she's not
a very nice woman.

at all.

Don't worry, Thorsson
was casting against type.

Could I have a word, my dear?

Uh, sure.

I'm a firm believer
in the Stanislavski System.

Have you heard of it?

Uh... No.

It's a wonderful tool.

You take the text
and make it your own.

You play out your emotions,

How you would feel as Erica,
not Juliet.

Okay, so, Stanislavski?
Mm-hmm.

That's great, you know what?
I'm gonna Google him.

Thank you.

Google?

Hey.

Hey, Claire invited us to grab
a cup of coffee at Jet Fuel.

It's in the east end,
but it's the best in the city.

Oh, you know, I would love to,

but I have to memorize
my lines, so...

Oh, well, why don't you do that

and Ethan can come with me?

You know, it really helps me
to rehearse with a partner,

Oh... Oh...
If you don't mind.

But, hey, good luck.

Break a leg tomorrow.

Yeah. Oh.
All right, Ethan.

Well, you had the first part
of the scene down,

so let's focus on the, um,
let's see here...

You know, I'm just wondering,

why you're taking
a theater class?

I mean, you don't wanna
be an actor.

Two answers:
One I can tell you,

the other, I'll only admit

if you promise not to laugh.

Okay, I promise.

Okay, it's good to have it
on my transcript

if I apply
to teachers' college,

and if, um... well,

If I wanna become
the first legitimate

white rapper instead,

I thought it could help
with my stage presence.

Okay,
I am the biggest dork ever.

No, no, I think
it's really sweet,

but you would make
a great teacher.

A teacher
is nowhere near as sexy

as international
hip-hop superstar.

Oh, yes it is.

I mean, your kids,
they're gonna adore you.

They're gonna see
how sweet and good

and caring you are.

Take it from me,
those qualities...

they're... they're very,
very sexy in a man.

Oh, uh... thanks.

Um, okay, let's just take it
from your line right here.

Um, "what satisfaction
canst thou have tonight?"

Sure.
How about over here?

Yeah, yeah. Great.

What satisfaction
canst thou have tonight?

The exchange of thy love's
faithful vow for mine.

But I gave thee mine
before thou did request it

and yet I would,
it were to give again.

Um, wouldst thou withdraw it?
For what purpose, love?

But to be frank
and give it thee again.

Um...

What?

Uh, um...

We-we weren't gonna
do a kiss.

Oh, you know, I know,

but it's only the most
romantic scene ever written,

so...

don't you think we should?

Well, it doesn't say here
anything about that,

so we probably shouldn't
deliver one, okay?

Okay.
Now let's take it from the top.

Sure. Definitely.

But soft, what light
through yonder window breaks,

it is the east
and Juliet is the sun...

So, how goes it?

Is your regret everything
you hoped for and more?

No, I think...

I think that I'm actually
scaring off Ethan.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I mean, I keep forgetting

that he's only known me
for a couple weeks, right?

I have this unfair advantage.

"there is advantage in
the wisdom won from pain."

Aeschylus.
I'm jumping the gun.

I'm expecting him
to be where I'm at,

and he probably doesn't
even know my last name.

Oh, I don't know,

I think "Strange"
is an unforgettable surname.

You want my advice?
Yes.

Why don't you just
slow it all down?

because...

Just allow things to unfold
naturally, you know?

Because if I do that,
then Claire, she swoops in

and I'm right back
at square one.

I mean, you should've
seen him today

when he was with her.

Just, like, two words
out of her mouth

and he was melting like butter.

Must be the accent.

Yeah, that and the fact
that Claire was...

Uh, Claire is really adorable,
back in '94.

Erica.
Hi.

Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt,
I didn't...

Oh, no, no. Not at all.

Remember, I want those 10 pages

on the concept
of "The Leap of Faith"

in Kierkegaard's writings,
by Monday.

Yes, professor Thomas.

So, where's Ethan?

I thought you guys
were rehearsing?

Uh, he had to go
to night class.

Oh.
Mm-hmm.

Sexy scene you two
have together, huh?

Yeah, sexy is the word,
you know?

And it doesn't hurt
acting opposite Ethan either.

Yeah. God, I can't believe
he's single.

Yeah, tell me about it.

So, he is single?

He's not interested
in any girl? I mean...

because today, I don't know,
it felt like there was uh...

a spark between us. Really, a spark?
Well, um, are you sure?

Yeah.
Because, you know, Claire...

Ethan, he's a really
sensitive guy.

Oh, but I like sensitive men;
I'm French.

I don't think
that you're his type.

Oh yeah? What makes you think
I'm not his type?

I just do, and you're not.

I mean, you might think so,

but long-term?
I don't know.

Okay.

Well, maybe it's time I go
and find that out myself.

You know, I just...
I wouldn't do that.

Why not?

Because.

Because what?

Because, um...

Ethan...

Is gay.

What?
Mm-hmm.

And I don't wanna be the one
to gossip about it,

but just the way that he is,
you know, in our scenes,

when it comes to all
the kissing stuff in the scene.

the fact that
he's in drama class,

I mean, kind of gay.

Wow, I never would've
suspected.

I know.
I feel your pain, I do.

And you just, you know what?
Forget about him.

Go out and...
and find a nice straight guy.

Oh, come, you spirits

that tend on mortal thoughts.

Un-sex me here
and fill me from the crown

to the toe topful
of direst cruelty!

Well done.

And... who shall present next?

Erica and Ethan?

You ready?

Oh, I'm something.

As sweet repose and rest
comes to thy heart

as that within my breast!

Wilt thou leave me
so unsatisfied?

What satisfaction
canst thou have tonight?

The exchange of thy love's
faithful vow for mine.

But I gave thee mine
before thou did request it

and yet I would,
it were to give again.

Wouldst thou withdraw it?
For what purpose, love?

But to be frank
and give it thee again.

Um... Uh...

Yet... I wish for,

but the thing I have.

My bounty is as boundless
as the sea,

my love is deep;

For the more I give thee,
the more I have,

for both are infinite.

Bravo!

Congratulations
on all your performances.

There was murder,

intrigue,

love.

You should all be very proud
of yourselves.

Class dismissed.

No, it was good.
You were great.

Um... Ethan, hey.

Hey.

Uh, just now, I mean...
on stage,

not that I'm complaining at all,
but...

I mean, you said that
you weren't gonna do the kiss,

so...

Why did you do the kiss?

To prove to you...

that I, Ethan Wakefield,
am not gay.

You know, I should be
really mad at you

for spreading
that little rumor.

I, I... No-no-no, I get
it; I'm a guy in drama

and I kind of freaked out
when you kissed me.

I am so sorry, Ethan.

It's an honest mistake.

So, you don't,
I mean, you don't hate me?

I did, at first, but, um...

I owe you.
For what?

Your crazy rumor

was a definite
conversation starter

with Claire.

When I cleared everything up,

she asked me out on a date.

It's because of you.

Oh.

So, buds?

Buds.

See you soon.

No, Ethan!
Ethan, wait!

Oh, sorry.

Oh great...

Well, let me guess...

Andrea's still on stage
with Katie,

chipping away
at your promotion,

bit by naughty bit,

and Ethan is, uh...
Hey, wh-where's Ethan?

Dr. Tom, you know
where Ethan is.

Ethan is with Claire.

Oh, really?
'cause you know what?

I thought for sure

that when you went back
to change history,

that history would've changed.

History or fate?

Oh, Erica.

Now, come on, you should know
better than anyone,

at this point,

that there's no such thing
as fate.

But Ethan and Claire,

they're clearly meant
to be together

and I couldn't stop it.

Oh, "men in the game are blind

to what men looking on
see clearly."

Chinese proverb.

Okay, so fine,
I am blind.

Open my eyes.

Okay, well...

five months ago,
Ethan wanted to kiss you.

Right?

And in 1994,

Ethan wanted to be with Claire.

So...

what is the common
denominator here?

Ethan.
Yeah, Ethan.

Yeah, he's as much
a part of the equation

as you are, you know.

People a not islands.

We are not separate

or on our own.

We are in this...

together.

And so, you're actions
affect Ethan

and Ethan's actions affect you

and on, and on, and on.

So, it's not that you
couldn't change fate;

It's that you can't make
other peoples' decisions

for them.

So, what does Ethan want now?

Well, only Ethan
can tell you that.

But first thing's first,

I would go in
and ask for some help.

Because, boy, do you need it!

That's the thing!

He seemed like
a total gentleman.

Now I'm thinking to myself,

Well, this guy
could be the one.

Okay...
and then?

And then he gets me back
to his place,

and dude pulls out
a feather duster,

tells me he's into something

called "domestic discipline."

So... kinky,

but whatever,
I'm open-minded.

So, I get up on his armchair,

like he tell me too.
Like this.

Oh...

I'm up here like this,

and he gets me to dust the wall
behind it.

So, I'm dusting away,
la-la-la-la-la,

and then he starts
smacking my ass.

I'm dusting...

and he smacks
while I'm dusting...

and he's smacking away.

Classy.

... my ass!

Brent... Talk to the hand because
the Brent isn't listening.

I need your help, Brent.
I really do.

I tried to help you,
you pushed me away.

So why should I help you now?

Because I thought that
I could do it all.

Because I was so determined
to make today perfect

that I just got lost
in the details,

and I refused to respect
anyone else's opinion

other than my own?

And...?

And I was a total,
insane, control freak.

Bingo.

All right,
I will work my magic,

but on one condition:

You do everything
I tell you to,

No questions asked.

I promise.
Good.

All right, now,
let's get up on stage.

Isn't that weird?

If this book is your life
than...

let's hear it.

'kay.
Whoa.

That domestic discipline thing,

is there a website?

The life of a single girl,
huh, Katie?

Oh.

And on that charming note:
Scene.

What you just witnessed
is every man's nightmare.

An over-sexed,

slightly desperate young woman,

Excuse me?

Willing to suffer date
after soul-crushing date,

Just to find the one.

She is a victim of every single
30-something dating book

that's ever been written,

until now.

Because "The None"
is none of that.

The "The None"
is something new,

Something ground-breaking,

Something...

Erica Strange.

Who do you think you are?

Your destiny.
You free tonight?

No.

Maybe I could be.
Hmm...

Well, I hope you enjoyed
our little pre-show.

But Erica, here,

Is actually the inspiration
for my new book.

An incredible woman
who deserves an incredible man,

but who has so far been
unlucky in love.

Not that I haven't had
my fair share

of opportunities though.

Why do you think
you're still single?

You know what?
It's this...

rabid desire, you know,
to find "the one."

It-it sounds like
it's about the guy,

but really,
it's about the girl.

How do you mean?

Well, it's the expectations
we have, you know?

It cuts the male right out
of the equation

because any good relationship,

it's about both people.

You mean, you've spent
so many years

going after what you want,

that you forgot that half
of the relationship

is actually
in somebody else's hands.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

'cause any true relationship,

it's never just about yourself.

So... So, if you can stop
looking at it like that

and put aside your desire
to find the perfect man,

you might just find the man
that's perfect for you.

Uh, thanks, Katie.

Okay, those go in the records room

and if it's locked,
Brent has the key.

Okay.
Look, I'm sorry if I...

Oh, Meeri,
don't apologize for anything.

You did a great job today.
Really.

So thank you.

okay.

Look down.

Look down.

Oh my God.

No guff.

It wasn't too long ago
that you were just a...

a poorly-dressed girl,
past her prime,

with a penchant
for flip-flops.

It's amazing what
a few months can do.

Is this for real?
Are you serious?

I may be tough,
but I'm not unfair.

You proved yourself today.

Thank you.

Uh, but I mean,
I had a lot of help.

Brent, of course,
was invaluable,

and Meeri, she's...

It was a team effort,
blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.

You were the one in charge,

so enjoy it.

Oh, we're gonna need
to find a new Erica;

One who actually knows
how to brew a latte.

Definitely.

High-five.

Thank you.

There comes a day

when we suddenly realize
that the control we seek

will forever remain
just outside our grasp.

For some,
it's a terrifying discovery.

While for others,

it's strangely liberating.

If the only person
I can control is me,

that means I'm off the hook
for the other six billion souls

making their way
in this crazy world.

Thank you.
Mm-hmm.

Coming.

Hey.
Hey.

What happened to knocking
on my wall?

Can I come in?

Where's Claire?
Montreal.

Can I come in?

What you said to me,
I-I didn't like it, Erica.

Well, I didn't like saying it.

But you did and...

and you weren't wrong.

I was paralyzed, in a way.

Claire held all the cards
and...

when she wanted me back, I...

Yeah, you went, I know.

But I didn't, not really.

Because you were right.

If I really wanted her,

I'd be in Montreal.

I wouldn't be here...

With you.

d every little thing I do d

d trickles down
and lands on you d

d when I see your face
so bright d

d makes me wanna do... d

What took you so long?!

d every little thing I... d

d every little thing d