All language subtitles for A Ticklish Affair (1963)

Love is a tricky matter, you can never be
certain of love.

Just when you feel on top of the world,
you're sure to face a setback.

Love is wonderful, love is magnificent,
like a trip to Disneyland.

Love is a gamble, and it rarely happens
the same way twice.

One day your future is clear, you're
ready for a thrilling ride.

The next day you want to forget, you're
looking for a place to hide.

But that's life, that's war, it's the
same old story everywhere.

You must handle love with care, because
love is a tricky matter.

S.O.S.

I'll inform the captain.

Red, this is Signals.

We are receiving an S.O.S. from a point
on shore.

Yes, sir.

Background information.

Looks like an S.O.S. from over there on
shore, sir.

Stand by for instructions.

Yes, sir.

Captain Parks, we are receiving a message
from somewhere on shore.

Definitely a distress signal. Very
persistent.

You've already been alerted, Lieutenant,
several times.

Take over my phone.

Still coming through steadily, sir, but
they don't answer our message.

The launch is ready, sir.

Call the shore patrol, have them meet us
at the dock with the jeep, and two men,

have them come armed.

Aye, sir.

Val Harris, come with me.

Yes.

You two men go around the side.

Come with me. Give me the gun.

Help that woman. Check upstairs.

I mean, what? Fix the sink?

What check upstairs? What's the idea?

Hey, what's the idea of that? Put that
away.

This is a private home.

Madam.

Madam.

Someone's been sending a distress signal
from here.

A distress signal?

Someone's been sending an SOS.

Every ship in the bay, the entire Navy's
been alerted.

From here?

Upstairs.

What's going on, Hal?

What's the Navy doing here?

You do have a blinker light here, don't
you?

A blinker?

Then who's been sending that message?

Me and Harrigan.

Harrigan and I.

That's right, Harrigan and I.

We've been playing sinking battleships.

Oh, he's too little.

He couldn't send an SOS.

Must be that Harrigan.

Get him.

No, wait.

You won't find him.

Why not?

Come on, baby.

Harrigan's his imaginary friend.

What is Harrigan?

His imaginary friend.

Anyway, he's gone out to the barn.

Oh.

What a silly car.

Oh, I wouldn't say so.

Now he can send Morse code.

Who came?

Sorry, it took us three weeks to teach
him.

Took him four.

Four weeks? Really?

All that time.

Their Uncle Si sent him a blinker light.

Right. He's always sending them something
strange.

He wanted them to learn Morse code, but I
didn't know they'd learn so quickly.

Especially this one.

Oh, I'm Commander Whedon from Halsey
Field.

Amy Martin.

How are you?

My boys, Luke.

Luke?

Hi.

Alex.

Hi.

And Grover.

Hey, Grover.

Hi.

I'm terribly sorry to have caused you so
much trouble.

Oh, no trouble. Really. Believe me.

Look, sir, it's a real model DCX 12-inch
signaling searchlight.

You're not going to take it away, are you?

Please, sir?

Ah, gee!

You've been waiting outside. I'll be out
in a few minutes.

Four weeks to learn the Morse code?

Took me seven.

We're not going to take the blinker away,
but I think his father ought to have a

serious talk about sending false alarms.

His father is dead. He was lost at sea.

He was a commander, too.

But you could bail Grover out if you want
to.

Luke?

I don't think a balling house was needed.

Perhaps a small discussion?

It's all right with me.

Okay.

On the plus side, you were good to own up
so promptly.

That was fine.

But not so fine as to cry wolf.

Ever hear that story?

Grover, I told you that many times.

But maybe he tells it differently.

The point is, the Navy's rescue system
would break down if people sent SOSs for

nothing.

Get the point?

You mean you don't play Morse code
anymore?

Not SOS Morse code.

We can't have you confusing the whole
United States Navy.

Can we?

That's right.

Don't worry, Commander.

You'll never get another SOS from this
house unless something is really wrong.

You mean the whole Navy got his message?

Hello?

Oh, hi, Tandy.

Well, all the Navy that's...

Yes, as a matter of fact, we have had a
little excitement around here.

It seems that we...

Oh!

What happened? What'd they do?

Did they shoot off guns or anything?

No, no.

When we get a message like that, we
usually...

That was my sister-in-law.

She saw you drive up and she was worried.

My goodness, why didn't somebody tell me
my face was such a mess?

I didn't notice.

I did.

Thanks a lot, pal. Excuse me. I'll be
right back.

So go on, Commander.

Oh, well, when we receive a message like
the one over here sent, we...

What's wrong with this, anyway?

Nothing. It's only a breach. Something
awful.

Yeah, it sure does.

Oh?

Well, the whole search and rescue
department go...

Hand me that wrench, will you?

Go into action.

Messages are relayed all over.

Oh, I see where the trouble is.

What's keeping him so long?

I thought he said he'd only be a minute.

You notice the legs?

No, I'm blind.

Did I notice the legs?

Funny, when I was a kid, my mother didn't
look like that.

Look.

Hey.

I noticed, I noticed.

Hi, Stan.

Oh, hi, Stan.

Come on in.

Hi, Stan.

Come on, Stan.

Come on, Stan.

No, no, that doesn't.

I can't thank you enough, Commander.

Hey, Mom.

Good toilet.

Go over.

Hey, I'm trying, too.

I can't let you wear...

I might I might glorify.

Ted, is something wrong?

No, it's just that I saw the Navy come
barreling up here, and then on the phone you

sounded as though the dam had broken.

I'll explain all that later.

This is Commander Whedon, my sister-in-
law, Tandy Bart.

How do you do?

Fine.

It was all my fault, Aunt Tandy.

Oh, yeah?

And I'm never going to do it again.

Either will the hairpin, because I'll bob
him.

Fine.

Well, man, I guess it's time I shove off.

Thanks again.

My pleasure.

You want us to walk you to your car?

If it isn't going to take you out of your
way.

I'm going.

A joke, stupid.

Jeez.

Well?

Come on, Amy, don't make me drag it out
of you.

What happened?

Grover sent an SOS.

Oh, is that all?

Could you please get him to send one for
me?

I don't have any sink problems, but if
the Navy is that obliging and that well

stocked...

Now, Tandy, don't start.

Don't start?

Do you expect me to ignore anything as
beautiful as that?

Beautiful?

You've been in dry dock too long, my dear.
Take my word, that is beautiful. What

was even more beautiful is the way he
looked at you. Oh, you and your imagination.

I told you Grover was fooling with the
blinker light, and the commander came over

to investigate. He was awfully nice about
it and awfully good with the children.

That's great. That means he comes from a
very large family or he has one of his own.

He hasn't. How do you know? I think I
asked him. Why did you do that? Oh, that's

great. That's a step in the right
direction. Anyway, silly. Oh, come on now, Amy.

Dad and I are becoming very concerned
about you. That's not exactly news. Okay, so

I'm interfering in-law, and so is Dad,
but we just want you to be happy, honey. I

am happy, Tandy. I'm very content with
the way things are. Well, I'm not. Listen,

did the commander ask you for a date? Of
course, he didn't ask me for a date. He

was here on business. Grover, with that
blinker light, had the whole navy in it.

Isn't it? Anyway, he's not my type. Even
if he worries me. Oh, that's that. If it

gets broken, we'll call you again. There,
there. Did you see the way he waved at

you? The way he waved? Well, of course.
Tell me he's not interested. Oh, Tandy.

Come on, Amy. If you'd only listened to
me, everything would be all right. Oh, I do

listen to you, Tandy. I listen to every
word you say with a completely closed mind.

You do? You do!

Is this the tallest commander reading?
Yes, Grover. Yes, he was. That's what I

figured.

Harrigan likes commander reading. Does he?
Him and fat Harrigan stuff. Boy, have we

got a nut in the thing. No.

If you and Alex didn't shut him out so,
he wouldn't need Harrigan.

Oh, Mom, sure.

It's all right, Mom.

Harrigan's my aunt.

I don't know.

I might prefer Harrigan to you two
monsters myself.

In you go.

Good night, baby.

Oh, Mom.

Grover.

He can fly a plane, too.

Who, Harrigan?

Commander Whedon.

Oh.

Good night, Mom.

Man, he sure is a really keen guy.

Yeah.

What about you, Mom?

Didn't you like him too?

Of course.

I liked him too.

Sure.

Even I could see that.

I need some more on this side.

Big deal.

Who doesn't?

Give it to me.

Look what you did.

Me, yeah.

All right, who's responsible for this?

Not me.

I'm just stirring and stirring.

You're making a mistake, Mom.

I wouldn't trust him with that.

He's doing a good job.

What a beautiful day.

Wouldn't you boys like to go outside and
play?

Oh, I appreciate you wanting to help, and
I know that most mothers have to force

their kids to help.

I guess you're just lucky, huh?

Yeah.

I guess I am.

Okay, fellas, let's see if we can find
something for you two to do.

I know.

Move my dressing table away from the wall.

Okay.

Where'd you want it moved to, Mom?

Anywhere around here, just so it's out of
the way.

You take that and I'll take this.

Wait a minute, fellas, you have to clear
it first.

No!

Oh, no.

Don't worry, Bob.

I saved it.

Oh.

I told you you were making a mistake.

Oh, baby, it's all over you.

Answer the phone, Luke.

Here, Mom.

Oh, no.

Oh.

Oh, now it's all over me.

You can get a sort of a jinx and me.

Get me some turpentine.

Sure.

It's going to take gallons of this stuff.

You're a pretty fair jinx yourself.

Varnish.

All anxious to see what Uncle Si has sent,
but we have to finish here first. You

don't really mind waiting, do you? Luke?
No, Mom. Alex? No, Mom. Grover?

Hi.

Hi.

Thank you.

It's my pleasure.

Thanks again.

Sure good thing you came along.

Yeah, I don't know what we'd have done.

Mom isn't great in emergencies.

Really?

That's not true.

How are you guys?

Fine.

How's Harrigan?

He's...

Thank you, Commander Whedon.

We're going to the freight office.

Our uncle sent us something.

It's in a crate.

A really big crate.

Yeah, it's really big.

If the crate's that big, maybe I can help,
huh?

Sure.

And maybe you should leave.

Mom's still shaken up.

I'm not.

He's crowded.

Yeah.

Okay, is that alright with you?

I don't really have anything to add.

But if you did…

It's fine, I suppose.

Alright.

Hornets, you're blue all over, aren't you?

The loudest horn I've ever heard.

Why are you spitting on your face?

So then, he invited me to dinner.

Aha! I've found it.

Here you are.

Put it on nice and thick.

All the better to flutter with, my dear.

I have no intention of fluttering.

Luke, have you found my sweater?

Not yet.

This must be Mom's black sweater.

What's wrong with it?

Luke, you tell me.

Oh, I see. A button is missing.

I bet you thought we'd never notice.

Come on, Luke!

Grover, what are you doing underneath
there?

I'm looking for Mom's shoes.

Down there?

They have to be hiding somewhere.

They're hiding in the plastic shoe box.

See? What did I tell you?

I got you, pal.

Hey, don't use it me up, sure.

Luke, I'm telling you, I can't hold any...

Oh, jeez, thanks.

There's your shoes, Mom.

Thank you.

What a way to have to get dressed.

Oh, boy.

Grover.

Don't you get lost. Hey, that's a
marvelous idea. Why don't you all get lost? Huh,

fellas? Let's go downstairs and make like
a reception committee. Huh, come on

fellas, we're being invited, actually.
Okay, man with the green hat, out! You, out,

out, boy. I thought he'd never leave here.
Black sweater coming up. Oh, thank

goodness. Do you have my other earring?
Yeah, your bracelet too.

Here, here's the bracelet. You know, Amy,
I'm really kind of excited about this. I

mean, after all, you haven't had a date
in positive ages. Oh, I'm sorry. This could

mean a whole new lease on life for you.
I'm not in the market for a whole new lease

on life, only dinner. Listen, can I give
you a little advice? No, definitely not.

I'm not asking to marry the guy. All I
want you to do is think about marriage. I

mean, if not for yourself, you owe it to
the boys. They need a male influence. They

have enough of a male influence with
their grandfather and my brother.

As a matter of fact, too much for my
brother.

But that's not really what I meant.

It's Italy.

I wonder why he sent them weather
balloons and helium.

Well, now, you stop that.

You stop trying to change the subject.

Candy, the subject hasn't come up.

How do you know?

What's that?

It's him.

He's here. He's here. What did I do with
the other shoe?

Where's the other shoe?

Oh, now, listen.

Be very nice to the commander.

And if the subject does come up, he won't
be another Navy man.

Remember me?

I've had the Navy up to here.

No, as a matter of fact, up to here.

How do I look?

Everything alright?

You look great, honey.

And when we finally got the crate open,
it was filled with balloons.

Balloons?

Yeah, weather balloons.

And a big, whatchamacallit, a helium tank.

Hmm.

What are you supposed to do with the
helium?

We don't know yet.

What do you think?

Well, in the Navy, we use the balloons to
measure air currents and get weather

information.

You see, we fill the balloons with gas,
and we let them...

There we go.

There we go.

Thank you.

You've met my sister-in-law, Tandy.

How are you?

Hello, Commander.

You know what, Commander?

You inflate the balloons and forget it.

Shall we go?

Good night, boys.

Good night, Mom.

Good night, Mom.

Good night, Mom.

I'll be good boys.

Okay.

Have a good time.

Right on.

See you.

Bye.

Bye.

I don't see how Mom's going to have any
fun.

See him alone?

She'll try, honey.

I know she'll try.

But that was several years ago.

Then...

So go on.

That's all there is.

After Dave was lost at sea, I brought the
kids back here.

My father-in-law gave us the house.

Here we are.

Tough break.

What?

You know, you're a remarkably well-
adjusted young…

And pretty, too.

The lady blushes, too.

On occasion, I swoon.

Oh, and honest to goodness, real old-
fashioned girl.

Not too old-fashioned, I hope.

No.

It's just that I don't believe in
starting anything I can't finish.

Oh, I haven't heard that one since I was
in high school.

Probably wouldn't be hearing it now if
you didn't have that uniform on.

Oh, who's to be offended?

The United States Navy or me?

No, it's just that I've had the Navy all
my life.

Not just being a Navy wife, a Navy brat,
too.

My brother and I couldn't keep track of
all the different places we lived in.

It's funny, though.

It doesn't seem to bother him.

He's still traveling all over the world.

But I made up my mind.

I determined this was no longer the life
for me. Then I met Dame. He was in the

Navy. Never again, ever again. That's
strange. I remember asking… Oh, no, I wasn't

implying that. Why? What? I only meant
there was no future in it. No future, I mean.

There's no point to… no point in what?

There was no point in hand-holding, oh
sure.

I must have had you figured all wrong.
I'm sorry. I had no idea you had marriage on

your mind.

On my mind?

But I must warn you, I must be honest
with you. I'm not the marrying kind.

But I didn't mean that.

No, no, no. Even if I were, the one thing
I wouldn't want is a built-in family. No,

no.

That's one project I'd like to do on my
own.

Or like to do on my own.

That's what I was saying. I don't want to
get married.

Oh, well, then we have nothing to worry
about. We're perfectly safe with each other.

Safe?

Mm-hmm. Sure, safe. Shall we, uh, dance?

Love is a ticklish affair. You never can
be sure of love.

Just when you're walking on air, you're
bound to feel a downward shock.

Love is great, just like a trip to
Disneyland.

Love is a roll of the dice and seldom
feels the same.

We had dinner, danced, and talked.

What about everything else?

Mostly about each other.

I knew you wouldn't have any fun.

You're wrong.

All in all, it was lovely.

It's comfortable, relaxed, and safe.

Safe?

Did I say safe?

If that's for me, Mom, that's concerning.

Oh, Don, what's wrong?

That's a very good question.

Uncle Si!

How are you?

Hello, Wayne.

We got the balloons and helium.

Yeah, what are they for?

The walk on the moon, what did you think?

Hey, I've got a monkey on my back.

I have a few things to say to you about
the stuff you've been sending the kids.

How long can you stay, Si?

Well, I figured I'd let the airlines
struggle along without me for a couple of

weeks, although I don't know what they're
going to do without their best pilot.

They're liable to go out of business.

True, true.

You know, it's not easy being an
indispensable man.

Boys, would you help your indispensable
uncle get off the ground?

Okay, there you are.

Nice to see you, fellas.

Hey, is Harrigan still around?

Good.

Then you two take this.

How are we going to get to the room?

Atta boy.

Oopsy-daisy.

Ah, it's good to be back.

Hi, Anne.

The kids look marvelous.

So do you.

Who did you spend the nice, relaxed, safe
evening with?

Eavesdropping again?

Certainly.

How else am I going to get my information?

Your usual source, Tandy.

Why don't you save time and trouble and
give it to me directly?

I had dinner last night with a commander
from Halsey Field.

Yeah?

Oh, yeah.

That's all there was to it.

Sorry to disappoint you.

Oh, don't worry about me.

Did you disappoint him?

Like some people, Commander Whedon
doesn't have a one-track mind.

I thought you said he was in the Navy.

Oh, funny boy.

Funny girl.

Do you ever wonder why you run like a
thief at the slightest mention of sex?

I do not.

Don't you, then?

Amy, that's impossible.

What?

You can't spend your whole life avoiding
involvement.

Why not?

Did they pass a new law?

Just try to make things easier on
yourself.

Stop promoting the goods.

From my own brother.

I can't believe what I'm hearing.

You, of all people, becoming a…

rude person.

Not that I don't enjoy a good laugh
sometimes.

I have a great sense of humor.

But I can't say the same for the Pentagon,
or I'd sound like a fool.

Do you not understand, Captain?

Are you asking me to believe that a six-
year-old boy sent an SOS that alerted an

aircraft carrier, a cruiser, and a
destroyer—not to mention our esteemed commander?

He wasn't alone, sir.

He had help from an imaginary friend.

That explains everything.

Okay, you've signed the report.

You sent it to Washington.

Cute little fellow.

Nice family.

Navy widow with three children.

Live over there.

Val, bring the binoculars.

See it?

No, I don't.

Very nice.

Do I?

Just sight that church in the foreground
and raise your glasses a little.

Got it? White House?

I think so. Sort of a barn next to it?

That's it.

Really very nice.

The widow, you say?

Who's the guy?

Guy? Guy.

Let me have another look.

She looks like a very nice woman.

Okay, a small demonstration. Now, this is
you, you, and you. These are the weather

balloons, fellas. This is how you're
gonna walk when you walk on the moon, when

you're really going to the moon someday.
Your whole generation will… what we're

gonna do is practice walking on the moon
now, so when you do get up there, you

won't be dizzy. Gee, wait a minute. You
mean you're gonna tie balloons to them and

let them go floating over the landscape?
What's to prevent them from floating away?

I know, we'll always be heavier than the
lift of the balloons. Smart boy! I wonder

where he gets it from? Certainly not his
mother. All right, so I'm dense, but it

sounds dangerous. Oh, I'm sorry, fellas,
but this time your uncle's too far out.

Now look, aim… you know I wouldn't
suggest it if there were any risk to it. Look,

I'll be holding them all along with this
long guide rope, and as a further safety

measure, I'll give them a knife to cut
the line that have punctured the balloons

should that become necessary for them to
come down, which it never will be.

No.

Oh, uh, I forgot to mention the most
important point.

It's going to be highly educational.

How?

Now he's got her.

How?

Well, uh...

Well, we'll have to study the weather and
learn how gas behaves and do an awful lot

of mathematics.

Are you sure these balloons are strong
enough?

United States weather balloons, honey.

They don't make them any stronger.

Seeing how it's all that educational.

I suppose you could try it. Okay, we'll
start on the figuring right now. Gee,

thanks, Mom. Let's go. Okay, yeah, come
on. You can come moonwalking with me and

Harrigan, Mom. Oh, that's very generous
of you, Grover, but uh, wouldn't Harrigan

mind? It was his idea. It was. Sometimes
he gets tired just being around me. Why do

you stand around doing nothing? I've got
nothing to do.

Fellas, there's one thing I can't stand,
that's a goof-off. Now come on, you've got

to check out the weather conditions. I do.
Yeah, now get on the ball now and get

over there and read that barometer.

Yeah, later, fellas, okay?

Whedon's the name.

Shelley.

I, uh, happened to be in the neighborhood,
thought I'd drop in to see the children.

Hiya, fellas.

Would you like to see Amy too?

Amy?

I didn't realize she had company.

Me?

I'm hardly what you would call company.

No, Amy and I go way back. Way back.
We've known each other for years.

Is that so?

Yeah. And funny thing about that, years
don't seem to make any difference.

Our relationship never changes. Doubt it
if it ever will. You know what I mean?

Strange. I don't seem to recall her
mentioning your name.

Well, funny thing about it, I don't
remember her mentioning yours. You must be new

around here.

Anything wrong?

Say, you're not the jealous type, Martin.

I am not.

Good. Neither am I.

Always manage to catch me at my worst.

Confidentially, that's not a worst. You
ought to see her in the morning.

I was taking a shower. What's the matter?

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all.

Well, it's time I got back.

Going so soon, eh? Well, it's a real
pleasure.

Come see us again.

Needless to say, any friend of my
sister's is a friend of mine.

Especially one I can needle so good.

Yeah, you needle very well.

Glory to Wales, champ.

How are you when it comes to babysitting?

Wales, champ.

Like tonight?

Tonight.

Don't I have anything to say about this?

Of course not.

You know, she finds it almost impossible
to mind her own business.

Yeah, I know.

You can say that again.

Nobody lets me.

I will not go out with anybody unless I'm
asked.

I'm asking.

Okay.

I have to finish fixing the kids' dinner
before we leave.

What are you worried about?

I'll feed them.

Hey, Mom.

Oh, brother.

You're not hungry.

I realize it's hard for you to understand,
Cy, but the children simply do not like

sauerkraut sandwiches.

You use pumpernickel or rye?

Pumpernickel.

Me too.

It's a midnight snack.

It's the greatest.

You hear?

Get those gourmets.

Those kids have the absolute greatest.

Those kids got no taste.

Where's the commander?

Gone.

Boy, that was a fast good night.

I was going to fix us a little snack.

You want some?

Oh, absolutely not.

Have fun?

Oh, it was marvelous.

He's such a nice guy.

Great sense of humor and sensational
dancer.

Well, that's important.

Who could ask for anything more?

Exactly. Companionship, that's all I want.

Uh-huh. Him, too?

Isn't it wonderful? Him, too.

He's quite good-looking, isn't he?

Darling.

Intelligent?

You know, he's a very important man over
at Halsey Field.

Yeah, well, the last I heard, that was a
naval air station.

So?

It does have that drawback.

It doesn't matter. We understand each
other.

You know, fun. That's the keynote.

Yeah, well, always has been.

Yeah.

He's coming over here tomorrow to help
you teach the kids to walk on the moon.

You won't need any lessons.

Come on, now. No big brother routine. I
know exactly what I'm doing.

Sure.

You know, you're eating a sauerkraut
sandwich?

Of course. It's delicious.

Jump over, jump! You're not supposed to
be a kangaroo. You're supposed to be

walking off the moon. All right, that's
enough. Not for me, yeah? Well, for me, we

got a long waiting line. I can't wait on
the shady side of 39 to be ready myself.

Beat me by three laps, hi commander! Oh
yeah, ah, look who's back in town. Miss me?

I was desolate for so kids, crazy about
me! Well, you got it, you got it, Dad. This

is Commander Weaver, my father-in-law,
Captain Martin, USN. Return, Captain Martin,

if anyone cares, I'm...

Yes, so am I.

You two.

Is it your turn?

Okay, come on, astronaut.

On the way to the moon.

Let's go.

Buckle up in, men.

Way up, men.

Way up, men.

That's it.

World's champ at everything.

Only you weren't so terribly shy.

Honey, just as long as you love me the
way that I am.

Love you, Angel, I adore.

Well, I suppose I'll have to ask you to
dance.

Hey, why couldn't you have married an
only child?

Why couldn't you have been an only child?

Ah, you like that?

I like that.

I like that.

You topped me again, you doll.

They're really crazy about each other, I
think.

Who?

Cy and Tandy?

Oh, good heavens, no.

It's just a little game they play.

They've been playing it for years.

You mean they don't know?

How could you not know love doesn't
always come up and hit you smack between the

eyes? Sometimes it's downright sneaky,
believe me. I can tell she doesn't realize

it herself yet, but how can she not
realize? I don't know, I don't understand that

part myself, neither. The right it's
pretty ridiculous naturally with a ship that

size you can't make any rash decisions
and I had my men to think of you.

So, what do you think I did?

You were at full speed ahead.

Did I tell you this before?

No, sir. I guess.

Good thinking.

Quick, you mother.

Oh, wait a minute.

Oh, shh.

Isn't that cute?

He's pretending to be asleep again.

Who's pretending?

You gave me a terrible spark.

Oh, I'm sure you've been asleep for hours,
huh?

Hours.

Don't say I woke up once.

There was a call for you, Si, from the
airline.

You're to get back to Los Angeles as soon
as you can tonight.

Something about somebody being ill, and
you're supposed to replace them.

Well, I told you, honey.

The indispensable man.

Oh, Si, the kids will be so disappointed,
and so am I.

To say nothing of me, can I help you pack?

Oh, please, no hysterics. I shall return.

I'll try not to cry.

Can I give you a lift at the airport?

Hey, thanks a lot. That would be a help.

That's the deal.

Better say goodbye to the kids.

I'm sure they're still awake.

Possible.

They're very light sleepers, you know.

Oh, it's possible.

They're very light sleepers, you know.

It's coming.

uh uh uh nice try it hadn't been for him
we'd have had it made you guys know you're

not fooling anyone yeah it's just fun to
try you have to go don't you don't you get

tired of being a pilot oh on occasion
especially ones like this hey you guys do me

a favor will you okay will you say
goodbye to tiger for me sure when will you be

back you know how he is he'll want to
know yeah well i'll be back as soon as i can

hey you characters hey you can hear me
okay okay not

unless you've got somebody to help you
but i think you can arrange that you mean

the commander

not a bad guy is he i mean for a fellow
who isn't related

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Off to bed.

And there's something else I think you
should know.

We only fill our balloons about three
quarters full.

Because when balloons rise or get hot,
they expand.

For example, on a cloudy day, the
balloons come down.

And on a sunny day, they go up.

Any questions?

Yes, Grover?

Are you married?

Ergen wants to know.

You guys ready for...

I got into you boys. You know better than
this.

I deal, leaving things all over.

Hey, Mom?

Yes?

Maybe three kids are too much for one
person to handle.

I want a pick one for the lady.

Let's go.

In we go.

Get up there.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's a most unusual
and rare animal called the opaki.

Oh, copy.

Copy, that's what I said.

You will notice he is built like a
giraffe, has horns like a goat, ears like a

donkey, hooves like an ox, and is striped
like a zebra.

It still goes. What is it?

It's a horse put together by a committee.

That's a fool. That is great.

Isn't he adorable?

Oh, babe.

Take it easy now, fellas.

Don't shove.

Stop shoving.

It was a good idea to bring him to the
zoo?

Yeah.

Three, two, one, zero.

And off we go.

Off we go.

Here we go, boys.

Hey, why didn't you holler for help?

I didn't need any.

Cake and lemonade, if anybody cares.

In a minute.

You're a doll to babysit for me again
tonight.

Well, it's getting to be a regular
pastime.

I must say I am getting a little bit
tired of hearing about Key, though.

The kids?

They give me a regular rundown.

Key said this, Key said that.

Key's been here, Key's been there.

Do you know what Key did today?

They like him.

That is the understatement of the year.

Everybody does.

Including you?

Including me.

I wonder if you're aware of how much.

Of course I am.

Are you also aware that this blissful
state cannot continue forever?

Oh, Tandy, please.

All of a sudden, it's just so right.

Everything's right for me.

Well.

Let's hope you can keep it that way,
honey.

What a wonderful time.

We always have such fun together.

You're nice.

So are you.

Now, what is this, a mutual admiration
society?

Darned if it ain't.

See? We're gonna get a new father.

I've been for it all along.

It's certainly okay with arrogant.

Arrogant.

You know what?

One of these days are gonna come and get
you.

Did you get the day off?

Gentlemen, this is a red-letter day.

Parlez-vous, Francais?

Parle Italiano?

No?

Well, you'd better.

Hi, Mom!

What's going on down there?

I'll be right down.

No, no, don't move. I'll be right up.

See you later, fellas.

Oh!

Amy!

Oh, for goodness sake, your timing's
great. I'm my usual messy self.

You certainly are. What can I expect?

When a man waits as long as I have to
find the right girl, he has to overlook

certain things like curlers and the
prettiest face I've ever seen and that sunny

disposition.

All an act, right?

One of my best.

Figures. And there's something you better
know about me.

I simply cannot tolerate conversation
before my morning coffee.

Marvelous. Neither can I.

Because I like to do all the talking
myself.

That's figures.

Oh, I do love you, Amy.

And I love you.

Then, it's all subtle.

All we have to do is stand in front of
that man and say, I do.

Oh, I know this is sudden.

But the promotion was sudden. It came
through this morning.

Promotion?

You are looking at the new executive
officer of the aircraft carrier, Saratoga.

I'm going to have to leave in two weeks.

But as soon as I find us a house, you and
the kids will come over.

Come over where?

To Italy.

Italy.

I'm being transferred to the 6th Fleet.

Wait a minute, Key.

But we'll be married before I leave.

Key, I told you.

Don't you remember in the beginning?

Don't you remember in the beginning?

I told you how I felt about the Navy and
marrying me.

Oh, sure you did, but I made a few noises
about not being the marrying kind myself,

but that's all over. Things have changed.

They have to. You said you loved me.

I do.

Amy, you're not making sense.

The children, the kids... oh, they're no
problem, you know how I feel about them.

They must have a permanent home for them,
but they will have a permanent home.

We'll all be together, where in Italy?
But Italy's not... and where do we go from

there? Japan, Manila, Alaska, another
year, another move. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm

sorry, but I can't. I've had the Navy.
You seem to have survived it, but I don't

want my kids to have to survive it. I
want them to have roots. I want them to go to

the same school for more than a year. I
want them to have a place they can call

home and not just a suitcase. See, now we
know what you want. Is that what they

want? They're too young to know what they
want. Okay, please, please try and

understand.

Would it make any difference whether I
understood or not?

Would that change things?

Goodbye.

Leaving so soon, Commander?

She warned me, and she was right.

Our first date.

But I didn't reciprocate.

About her Navy past.

There's more to it than that, I think.

She's right to want a stable home for the
kids.

But truthfully, I don't think she even
realizes it herself.

She's scared.

Scared?

For herself and the boys.

Life hit them hard once, and she doesn't
want a repeat.

You can't reason with a mother protecting
her children.

They disagree.

They're unhappy.

They're so young.

They'll move on.

Well, Amy won't, I suspect.

If you buy the store, neither will they.

I don't know if I'm way downstairs.

I thought this was going to be a nice
quiet game.

A nice dog game.

Everything's dull.

Everything's stink.

Grover.

I hate to admit it, Mom, but Kooky here
has a point.

Now, Luke, you stop that.

You hear me?

You talk about us yelling.

I wish Harrigan didn't need to go
somewhere.

Anywhere.

Well, you can't.

It's not my fault that it's raining.

Nobody said it was, Mom.

Maybe you ought to lie down.

Is she going to cry again?

Big Mouth, it's the last time I ever tell
you anything.

Yeah!

Now listen to me, all three of you.

I don't know where you got the idea I've
been crying.

But that isn't true.

I haven't been feeling well lately.

That's...

Hey, where is everyone?

Uncle Sam!

Uncle Sam!

We haven't seen the commander.

I know all about that.

Your Aunt Tanley called me.

Please, Uncle Cy, can't you do something?

I picked up some weather charts to see
when the rain will stop so we can go balloon

hopping again.

Greetings!

Great!

Greetings to you too.

Hey, you'll get wet.

Oh, I'm glad to see you.

Three boys and two days of rain.

I hope you can stay longer.

How's everything?

Everything's fine.

It's fine.

Would you like to try that again?

What?

You haven't convinced me.

I don't know what you mean.

Now, everything isn't just fine.

From what I hear around here, everything
is all blown up.

The boys are here.

So?

So?

I don't think matters that don't concern
them should be discussed in front of them.

This is not of their concern?

Upstairs, troops.

Amy, to borrow one of Luke's more
colorful expressions, you are a nut.

One question.

You are in love with Pete.

I can't hear you.

Pete.

And he's in love with you?

Crazy about the kids.

The kids adore him.

I still can't hear you.

Oh, yes, yes.

What's wrong? Why did you reject him?

It's nothing. No problem at all.

Do you want my advice?

No, I don't need your advice.

I don't want yours, Tandy's, Gramps' or
anyone else's.

I know what I have to do.

Oh, you poor thing.

Gee, I wish I could help.

Oh, yes, please help.

Help me make the boys understand.

Even if I think you're wrong?

I know I'm right. It's best for them.

But it might be hard on me.

Okay, then.

Okay.

As long as you understand this.

Contrary to popular belief, the mothers
who make the most mistakes are usually the

ones who make the most sacrifices.

Well, fellas, that's the situation.

You understand?

I don't blame you, neither do I.

Let's pretend we do, just for your
mother's sake, okay?

Luke?

I'll try.

Atta boy.

Alex?

So will I.

Hey, can I count on you?

Hey, it's getting pretty bad.

It'll clear up.

Tell you what, if the weather's nice
tomorrow, we'll go balloon hopping, okay?

Huh?

Tomorrow.

That's when Key goes away, isn't it?

So I hear.

You promised.

I can count on you.

Oh, sure, only...

Only what?

I'm gonna have a long, long talk with
Harrigan.

Off we go!

Good night.

Good night.

If I had that many balloons, I could sail
over to Halsey Field and say goodbye to

Keith.

You're too little for this many balloons.

Well, could I go up with all his balloons
and float and make observations with the

field glasses?

Float?

Is that something new?

Uncle Si said I would float if I had all
Luke's balloons.

So I did.

Okay, come on, we'll tie you up to the
fence with a guide rope and let you go up

and take a look around.

Mrs. Martin, ma'am?

Yes.

I have a letter for you from Commander
Whedon.

He tried to call you, but your phone was
out of order.

It is?

It's for all of you. The letter, I mean.

Thank you.

Could I ask you a question, ma'am?

Yes. Yes, of course.

Don't your kids ever do anything normal?

Once in a while, if we don't keep an eye
on them.

Thank you.

Aren't you going to read it, Mom?

Is it really addressed to all of us?

Dear Martins

I'm leaving today at noon, but I can't
leave without telling you what a wonderful

experience it has been to meet and know
all of you, Harrigan included.

If I can ever do anything for you, please
don't hesitate to get in touch with me.

These days, nobody is very far away, you
know.

Is that all, Mom?

Boys, I was going to wish you all the
best.

But with a mother like yours, you already
have it.

Sincerely, Key.

Isn't that nice?

Nice.

Yes, sir, that certainly is very nice.

Hey, didn't somebody say they wanted to
go floating around here, huh?

Me? I sure do.

All right, astronaut, into your capsule.

Okay, crew, get to work.

Come on, get in, Grover.

Here, I thought you wanted the binoculars.

Ready for the countdown? Yep. Okay, how
do you feel, champ? Fine. Good. All right.

Now, I think it's breezing up a little,
but you two guys will get a chance to go up.

Now, Luke, you tie this to the fence now
securely, do you hear? Yes, sir. Make a

good knot now. Ready to go. Five. Five.
Four. Four. Three. Three. Two. Two. One.

We've got to take the proper precautions.
Okay, Grover, down your... Hey, that's

impossible. I spliced this rope myself.

Come here. Give me a hand now, you clown.

Come on, Grover.

Listen, we've got to get some help.

I'll call the police department.

No, the fire department.

The phone isn't working.

I can send an SOS.

Good. You keep signaling until we get
some help.

You hear me?

Okay.

You get the car, I'll get the rifle.

I'm going to try to shoot out some of the
balloons.

If I can.

Letter delivered, sir.

Boy, I envy you.

What I'd give to go to Italy.

I joined the Navy to see the world, and
all I've seen is San Diego.

What's wrong with that?

I was born here.

Right there.

Hey, how about that?

Those kids are sending SOS signals again.

Bunch of show-offs.

Strange.

You ask me, everything they do is strange.

Before you leave, there's one report.

I'm like, what's wrong?

Operator, get me Academy 30399.

I was out of order earlier.

Probably just another prank.

I don't think so, sir.

They said we'd never see another signal
from there unless...

Yes, operator.

Still out of order?

Since when is the weather bureau doing
balloon tests from over there?

Say, those kids were fooling with
balloons when I was over there.

It's Grover.

Search and rescue immediately.

Aye, aye, sir.

I'm sorry, sir.

This could be very serious.

Search and rescue, hurry.

If it comes anywhere near it, or we'll
get him.

And if he doesn't, we'll just take off
after him.

Don't you worry, little lady.

We'll take care of everything.

All right, you men.

Raise that area, Clyde.

You're going to the top of the area.

Get this right there, man.

All right, get up to the top there.

Clyde, get you to spot that pit up there.

Man, open that up.

Let's do it out there.

Come on.

There we go, man.

There we go.

I finally got an answer to my SOS, but I
was so nervous I didn't know what it said.

Okay, all right, all right.

There he comes.

There he comes.

I'm going to shoot the balloon down.

Here, that's it.

Come on, get those people back.

Grover, now, don't move.

Don't move, just hold it there.

Okay, boy, here it go.

Grover, you move.

Stand still.

No, no, I'm going to get there.

Okay?

Come on, boy.

Okay?

All right, go with it, Blake.

Oh, bring it.

Oh, Ty's going to try and shoot him down.

Oh, no.

Don't worry, Ty had a pretty good shot.

Oh, they're dripping.

Oh, they're dripping. He's dripping.

Get back in the car, Amy.

Okay, boys.

Hold up, boys. Yeah.

I'm glad to see you and that chopper.

Let's go!

We can't get close enough.

Rotors are too dangerous.

Cup's going out now.

All right, Lieutenant Burke.

Where's he going?

He's going to follow Grover.

Keep us posted on his position until the
blimp gets here.

Blimp what blimp?

It's the only safe way to follow.

The trouble is, it's out at sea, but it's
coming in as soon as...

Portable control center standing by sir.
Where's your mother? She's in grandpa's

car trying to follow Grover. This is
Commander Whedon. I want a jeep assigned to

the boy's mother so she can follow closer.
I'll give you his position as soon as I

get it. I also want all small craft
deployed in case the boy drifts out to sea. I

want you to know the whole police force
is giving you and the navy full

jurisdiction. You can have all the
responsibility. Thanks. Give the blimp a fix on

our location. Have them pick me up here.

The latest bulletin on that small boy
floating with some balloons over San Diego is

that he apparently is headed north. We'll
bring you further details as soon as we

have them. And now, back to the Jack
Piermont show. Don't you think you ought to

have some breakfast before you drink any
more Bloody Marys? You want me to put food

on an empty stomach?

Help out the window

Hopper, are you all right?

Of course I'm all right.

What's the matter with the immediate back
there?

Yeah, please.

This Jeep is for you.

Come on, the Navy's taking over.

I just came back from the Martin place.

I thought you said the guide rope or not
broke.

Well, that's what I thought.

Well, there was no sign of anything
broken.

Are you sure?

What do you think?

He could have slipped the fastener off
himself, but if he wanted to.

Yeah, but why would he want to?

I don't know.

He's a pretty goofy kid.

Yeah, but you know something?

Not exactly all the time.

That's right.

Not exactly.

Here's Captain Hitchcock, sir.

Captain Hitchcock.

Good.

It's a quarter after 11, sir. My flight
to Italy has been canceled till tomorrow.

And key, there's an aircraft carrier and
cruiser standing by in case he drifts out

to sea.

They're prepared to make the same kind of
pickup we do for the astronauts if it's

necessary.

What's it all about, sir?

The boy's drifting out to sea in some
balloons.

That's okay, sir. I'll ask someone who
knows.

Okay, so it sounds crazy to you and crazy
to me, but I heard it with my own ears.

That's what we're doing.

Rescuing a balloon dancer?

Yeah.

We have just learned that the Martin
boy's course has changed.

He is now heading towards Point Loma, and
unless he is rescued, he may drift out to

sea and be hopelessly lost.

Ready?

Ladies and gentlemen, we are now ready to
take you to Point Loma, where we will

provide complete on-the-spot coverage.

This is Mrs. Martin's mother.

I believe we can get our cameras over
here quickly.

What did he say? Mrs. Martin, could you
make it out?

Please, please.

We had a report that he mentioned
something else, like 'ski'. Does that mean

anything to you?

Ski.

I understand the Navy commander leading
this rescue operation is named Key Whedon.

Could that be who the boy was talking
about?

Grover!

Just leave her.

I see the weather is changing.

The fog is starting to roll in.

If this continues, the blimp won't be
able to find the boy.

It's coming now.

There it is.

We are approaching the boy now.

Bring the cruiser into position, sir.

Providing rescue assistance.

Let's hope it's successful.

He has a boathook and is attempting to
snag a line.

You'll succeed next time.

That's over now.

No, it isn't. They've stopped.

Something is wrong.

What is it?

It's the balloons.

Those darn old balloons are the problem.

Yes.

Try shooting down the balloons!

Hey, Michelle.

Why did you do that?

Harry didn't intend to do something so
drastic.

I was so worried.

The boy is alright now.

Yes, I know, but I was also worried about
you.

Were you?

That's quite an interesting turn of
events.

Don't you, uh...

I think they need a permanent father more
than they need a permanent home.

Oh, King.

I certainly do.

Oh, boy!

That's life, that's war.

It's the same old story everywhere.

Goodbye, Harry.

Because love is a delicate matter.