All language subtitles for Frasier. S05E08. Desperately. Seeking. Closure. 1080p. BluRay. Remux. DTS-HD. MA2. 0. H. 264-BTN

Half-caf latte, please.

- Half-caf latte!
- Half-caf latte!

Half-caf latte!

I rather like this new system.
It's lively.

It's more efficient.
What can I get for you?

I'll have a double short,
low-fat, no-foam latte.

Double short, low-fat, no-foam latte!

Double short, nonfat, low-foam latte!

- Double short, nonfat, no-foam latte!
- Excuse me. Uh--

There was a problem
in the chain of command.

The middle person reversed part of it.

She said a double short,
nonfat, low-foam latte.

Double short, nonfat, low-foam latte!

- Double short, nonfat, low-foam latte!
- Double short, nonfat, no-foam latte!

No, you did it again.
That's not what I want.

- You can just tell her yourself.
- All right.

I'll have a double short,
low-fat, no-foam latte.

- Double short, low-fat, no-foam latte!
- Double short, low-fat, no-foam latte!

- Nutmeg?
- Nutmeg?

- Nutmeg?
- No, thanks.

It inflames my stomach lining.

- Inflames his stomach lining!
- Inflames his stomach lining!

- Inflames his stomach lining!
- Stop that.

Hello, Niles.

- Welcome back.
- Well, thank you.

I trust you and Samantha
had a pleasant weekend?

Oh, God, it was fabulous.

We stayed at this gorgeous cabin
just outside Aspen,

took a chopper every morning
to the top of the mountain.

Oh, I just didn't want it to end.

That would explain why you're
still wearing that ridiculous jacket

in an overheated café.

Oh, well, in Aspen
we all wear them indoors.

The funniest thing happened
at the lodge last night.

Jack Nicholson and Tom Brokaw discovered
they were wearing exactly the same jacket,

so they staged a mock fight.

Suddenly Donna Karan flew between them
pretending to referee.

I laughed so hard I nearly spilled
my toddy on someone named Poof Daddy.

Can I get anything else for you?

Just a dustpan and broom
to sweep up some of these names.

Cappuccino, please.

Oh, by the way, Niles,
did we have plans for tonight?

- Yes, why?
- Well, I'm afraid I have to cancel.

It's my one-month anniversary with Sam.

I'd like to take her to L'Escalier
for dinner.

I understand.
One month is quite a milestone.

Thanks for the reminder.
I need to change my water filter.

Oh, damn. They put nutmeg on this.

Speaking of Meg,
Meg Ryan told me a delightful story

about the practical joke
Tony Hopkins played on Jodie

at the wrap party for Lambs.

My stomach lining
is not going to get a break today, is it?

- I'm so sorry I was late.
- Oh, no, that's all right.

I took the liberty of ordering us
the "Taste of Monaco" dinner.

Oh, good choice.

Well, as I recall,
that's what you ordered on our first date.

Of course, it wasn't food
you were craving that night.

You whisked me away back to my place
before the crab cakes could even arrive.

There's no better way
to celebrate an anniversary

than with an historical reenactment.

I've got my costume on underneath.

Actually, I'm really looking forward
to those crab cakes.

Great. Well, yes, I suppose
we should try the food here once.

But be sure to leave some room.

You're bound to find a little Frasier mint
on your pillow when we get home.

By the way,
thanks again for this weekend.

You're welcome.

It's funny, I think
it was a real turning point for us.

Well, for me.

See, I was so relaxed.

In the beginning of relationships,
usually I'm very tentative.

I just have this dark fear
that I'm about to be cut loose.

- Frasier?
- Oh, I know, I know.

I'm just being so insecure.
It's nice to know I'm on solid ground.

- Um, Frasier...
- I'm standing on quicksand, aren't I?

God, I didn't want to talk
about this until later.

Oh, God.

Oh, it's just not working out
between the two of us.

No, it's not you. It's me.

I just don't feel the same way
about us anymore.

But things were going so well.

What happened?

Oh, nothing happened.

But we've had a wonderful time together,
Frasier. It's just run its course.

I'm sorry.

Well... I'm sorry too.

I hope we can still be friends.

Oh, yes, yes, I'd like that too.

Well, you know,
seeing as how we're friends and all,

I suppose there's no reason
we shouldn't stay

and enjoy what's sure
to be a splendid meal.

- Absolutely.
- Great. Okay.

- Your first course.
- Ah. Thank you. Mmm.

Ah.

Oh, tell me,
how many more courses are there?

Six, sir.

Could you bring those all at once?

- Good Lord.
- What?

Look at this headline.

"Martin Crane dead." Whoa!

You don't need much coffee after that.

Gee, 58. Poor guy. Hardly had a life.

- Handsome fellow, though.
- Yeah.

Multimillionaire.

Decorated war hero.

Wrote a spy novel.

"Survived by his wife, Florence,
a former Miss Washington,

and two sons, Joe,
a Marine Corps colonel,

and the professional baseball player
Mickey Crane."

Nothing like starting the day off
jealous of a dead guy.

Oh, hello, all.

- Morning, Dr. Crane.
- Hi, Fras.

You were up and out early today.

Yes, well, I felt like taking a walk.

Got a lot on my mind.

Picked up some pastries.

- Well...
- Great.

Whatever it is, you'll cheer up when you
see these photos from your ski weekend.

- Oh.
- I admit, I took a peek.

I must say,
this Sam of yours is quite a catch.

She's gorgeous, smart, stylish...

We broke up last night.

Orange juice, anyone?

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Oh, it's all right.

It was a mutual decision.

Well, a little more mutual
on her part than mine.

Once she dumped me,
I jumped right on board.

Anyway, I'll be fine.

That's the spirit.
Just put it all behind you.

Exactly.

I must admit, I'm having
a little difficulty achieving closure.

See, Sam said that her feelings
changed for no reason.

I can't help thinking it might have been
something specific about me.

Now hold on.
Don't try to make this your fault.

She's probably telling the truth.

If a woman's trying to spare
your feelings, she'll give you the old

"It's not you, it's me."

- That's exactly what she said.
- Waffles, anyone?

Fras, I know you're always looking
for an explanation for everything,

but sometimes there isn't one.

Well, I know, Dad.
It's just, it's gonna just drive me crazy.

You know, until I know why it ended,

I'll just assume it was any number
of things about me.

- My self-confidence will be shattered.
- You got two choices here.

You can spend days trying
to figure it out until it drives you nuts,

or you can do the smart thing,
make a clean break,

never talk to her again,
and get on with your life.

You're right.
That's exactly what I should do.

- Thank you.
- No problem.

Sometimes you're very insightful.

I've been around the block a few times.

- So when are you gonna go talk to her?
- Right after my waffles.

Sam! Sam!

What are the chances?

You've found my thinking place.

Frasier, listen,
I'm ten minutes late for a deposition.

Oh, well, we can walk and talk.

All right.

So I'm loving
this new arrangement of ours.

I think this being-friends thing's
gonna work out great.

- Could you pick up the pace a little?
- Right, right. Uh...

- How have you been?
- I just saw you last night.

So you did.
Now that you bring up last night...

You do walk fast.

...uh, I was hoping
for a little clarification.

I told you,
this has nothing to do with you.

Yes, but it seems highly unlikely

that such a sudden change
could have nothing to do with me.

I mean, maybe it was something
that I did unintentionally.

I'm not sure-- Oh, I'm sorry. My fault.

You know, something this weekend maybe?

I know I played the piano
in the lounge a little too long,

but who knew General Schwarzkopf
was so crazy for show tunes?

All right.

There's nothing I'm not telling you.
Sometimes things just end.

Please try not to take it so personally.

- All right.
- All right. Look, I really am late.

I'll talk to you soon, okay?

Take care.

- Oh.
- What's the matter with you?

Well, that's just it.

I don't know.

Where is Frasier?

He knows we have reservations
at Bavetta's.

If you're late,
they give away your table

and make you sit in the kitchen
with the owner's mother.

What the hell did I do with that remote?

- Daph, are you sure you haven't seen it?
- Positive.

They ought to make one
with a sensor on it.

If you get more than 20 feet from the TV,
it senses it and starts beeping.

Or maybe for a deaf person,
they could make one

that has purple smoke coming out of it

like some kind of flare system
or something.

Mr. Crane, I'm begging you,
you've got to get out of the house more.

Hello, all.

Oh, Niles, what a pleasant surprise.

Just what Mama Bavetta will say
when we pull up a chair.

Oh, that's right, dinner.
I completely forgot.

I took a long walk after work.
I'm sorry, Niles.

- It must have completely slipped my mind.
- Well, Bavetta's out now.

I take it you're still consumed
with the Sam situation.

- Trying to figure out what happened.
- The relationship ended.

- But there's got to be a reason.
- See, you're fixated.

I am not fixated.

That is fixated.
Dad, what the hell are you doing?

Oh, no, this is stupid.

Maybe if I stick together
about ten chopsticks

and put a rubber tip
on the end for gripping.

- Oh, hello.
- Hi.

- Be ready in a sec.
- It's all right.

- Movie doesn't start till 8.
- Right.

I forgot you two had plans.
Come on in.

- All right.
- I was wondering--

No, I don't know why
Sam broke up with you, okay?

Just like I didn't know two hours ago.

Just like Gil and Bulldog and Miss Judy
from The Arts and Crafts Hour didn't know.

Well... never hurts to ask.

Miss Judy had some real insights before
she had to make her Popsicle-stick run.

I'm gonna go to Duke's,
watch the game there.

Wait, everybody.
Before you're scattered,

I'd like to ask an enormous favor.

In the spirit of, well, self-improvement,
I'd like you to tell me in your own words

just what exactly about me
you find unlovable.

No, no, no. Please, please. Please.

Please, honestly,
for the sake of my future relationships.

I mean, just-- I know that
you're afraid to hurt my feelings,

but I can stand
a little constructive criticism.

Come on, please, tell me,
what do you think are my main faults?

Well, let's start
with what you're doing now.

You analyze everything to death.

Sam said it wasn't your fault,
but you keep digging around

and digging around
until you drive everybody nuts.

Okay. Dad thinks I am over analytical.

That's great. We got the ball rolling.
Who's next? Niles?

I'm not entirely sure
how useful this exercise is.

I don't care how you feel about it.
Participate.

- Pushy.
- Well, yes, if that's what it takes--

Oh, thank you.

All right, Daphne, it's your turn.
Don't be shy.

Well, if I had to choose,

I'd say you are a bit of a fussbudget.

Fussbudget!
If you don't mind the substitution,

I think maybe "demanding"
is more le mot juste.

Pretentious.

Right. Now, see, this is very good.

- Roz, you must have something.
- You're a little full of yourself.

Great. Okay. Pompous.

And you do tend to ramble on
with the callers.

A tad loquacious.

Pretentious.

- Dad, I already wrote that down.
- Underline it.

- Oh, uh, snippy.
- Snippy.

Sarcastic.

Bossy.

- Huffy.
- Vain.

- Oh, yeah.
- That's a good one.

Oh, well, how nice.

We finally found an activity
we can all enjoy together.

Why don't you just admit
what you're doing here?

This isn't some
"help me be a better person" thing.

You're trying to figure out what
you can fix so you can win Sam back.

Oh, now, Roz, that's preposterous.

Look who you're talking to.

I've been down this road so many times
they call it the Roz Expressway.

I've heard that phrase before
but in a slightly different context.

Well, all right.

Maybe there is some truth
in what you say.

I mean, after all,
Sam is really quite a catch.

Why wouldn't I want to get her back?

But you shouldn't change yourself
just to please her.

It's not healthy, and it doesn't work.

If it did,
Steve Wilson would be my husband

and not just some name
tattooed on my butt.

If you want my advice,
the best thing you can do is nothing.

Just leave her be
to think about what she's missing out on.

I totally agree. No candy. No flowers.

And whatever you do, don't call.

I don't see anything wrong with
keeping the lines of communication open.

Oh, God, you called, didn't you?

Well, maybe I left
a carefully worded message.

You never call somebody
who's broken up with you.

It makes you look desperate.

I didn't have any choice.
She wouldn't return any of my pages.

Oh, God, I've blown it, haven't I?

That depends.
What did you say on your message?

Well, nothing undignified.

Tone of voice is everything, isn't it?

Maybe I should just play them for you.

You have her access code
to her answering machine?

Luckily, I set it up with her.

I gave her a code that would be easy
to remember: my birthday.

What's so easy about May 7th?

I wouldn't know, Dad.
My birthday's in March.

Oh, that's right. The 7th.
That's Eddie's.

Okay, okay, here we go.

All right, now, listen and tell me
if you think I sound desperate.

Two quick things:
Dinner at L'Escalier is now at 8:30,

and the judge needs to see you at 9
tomorrow morning, not 10. Bye.

- I didn't get desperate. I got feminine.
- Shut up, Niles.

Ah, here, huh...

Hello, Sam. It's Frasier.
Give me a call if you get a chance. Bye.

You don't sound desperate at all.

Hi, Sam.
I forgot to mention I'll be at the office.

Call me. It's Frasier.

Well, maybe just a whiff of desperation.

Hi, I'm at the office now.

Still at the office.

I stepped out
to the coffee machine.

Thought I might have missed you.

How quickly a whiff becomes a stench.

- You know, they just get worse after that.
- There's more?

Yes, not anymore, though. There.

Messages erased.

Your messages were not
the only ones on there.

What about the one from her secretary
about the meeting with the judge?

You're right. That did sound important.

- What are you gonna do?
- I guess I could just call back

and leave a message saying
I inadvertently erased the message

while erasing a bunch
of messages I left earlier.

With her secret access code.

Right.

Oh, God, this is humiliating.

Well, Frasier,
I hate to appear unsupportive,

but I gotta get to Duke's for the game.

- And we're gonna be late for that movie.
- Oh, wait. I forgot my purse.

Ah, don't worry about it, Frasier.

You'll be fine. You'll bounce back.

You're tough.

- And resourceful.
- Resilient.

- Optimistic.
- Tenacious.

- Conceited.
- Different list, Daph.

See you all.

Hard to believe this picture
was taken only three days ago.

Look at us, how happy I was.

Now I'll never see her again.

Aren't you overdramatizing?
You're bound to run into her now and then.

No, I was talking
about me and Lesley Stahl.

Looking at these photos,

I can't help noticing there are very few
of you and Sam together.

What are you getting at?

Well, I'm just wondering
how much you really feel for this woman.

Don't be ridiculous.
I haven't felt this way in ages.

I'm sorry. Guess I was wrong.

It's love, then.

Well, I... I don't know about love.

I mean, we've only been seeing each other
for a month.

But you could see yourself
falling in love with her.

Possibly.

- Sometime down the line.
- Yes. Yes, perhaps.

Well, no wonder you're heartbroken.

You've just lost the only woman
you could even possibly,

sometime down the line,
perhaps fall in love with.

I'm surprised the country-music people
haven't jumped all over this one.

Oh, all right,
so I don't rhapsodize about her.

No, you did rhapsodize
when she took you to Cigare Volant

and you were seated in
a secret VIP room we never knew existed.

What are you suggesting?
That I'm so shallow

I was with her for her connections?

I wouldn't put it as harshly as that,
but let's face it.

Ever since we were young, you've had
a yearning to run with the cool kids,

and it's never worked out for you.
Your one day on the football team.

The summer you bought that motorcycle.
Although, to be accurate--

It's only a moped if you pedal it,
and I never pedaled.

I just wonder if what you're mourning

isn't so much the loss of Sam
as the loss of her celebrity lifestyle.

I must admit things never did seem
quite right between us.

If it hadn't been for her friends,
I probably would've broken it off myself.

Oh, God, shame on me.

Don't punish yourself, Frasier.

At least you're deep enough
to realize you're shallow.

Yes.

- Dinner?
- Let's.

Mm. Although I've still got
to phone her about that message.

Oh, you know what?

Why don't we stop by L'Escalier
on our way to dinner?

- You can tell her in person.
- Even better.

God, Niles, I can't tell you
how helpful this has been.

How can I ever repay you?

You can start by getting me
into that VIP room at Cigare Volant.

Where is the entrance?

- Behind the cigarette machine?
- That's just a decoy.

- It's through the dry cleaner next door.
- No!

Hello, Sam.

Frasier.

I know you didn't expect
to see me tonight.

Well, no.

After all those messages,
I can't say I'm totally surprised.

God, you heard them?

I checked my machine this afternoon.

Frasier, I think we really need to talk.

No, we don't.

I promise you,

I will never call you again.

I've thought about this, and believe me,
you made the right decision.

No, no, I didn't.

Excuse me?

Yeah, please, sit down.

I was gonna call you later anyway.

You see, I think I figured out
what happened between the two of us.

I panicked.

I was starting to really care about you,

thought we might even have a future, even,
and, well, it scared me.

But the way you've pursued me,
showing up at the courthouse

and leaving all of those messages,
well, and now you're here.

Obviously you feel
just as strongly as I do.

It's funny, really,

both of us falling in love so fast

and not realizing
the other one felt the same way.

We should be laughing.

- Listen, Sam--
- No, no, no.

I'm going to tell you
what we're going to be doing this weekend.

We are taking the Concorde to London
for a party at Alec Guinness' place.

I'm not so sure-- Sir Alec Guinness?

Yes, well, I know
it's a long way to go, but--

But Stephen is going to be there,

and he's promised to play some songs
from the new one.

Look, I don't know if--
Stephen Sondheim?

Yes. You'll never guess
who'll be singing with him.

- No, no, please, don't tell me. Please.
- Frasier, what...? What is it?

You seem upset.

Sam, I can't see you anymore.

What?

Look, I think you're an incredible woman,
but I've come to a realization about us.

Well, about me.

And I just don't see any future for us.

I know it sounds strange
after the way I was pursuing you, but...

I've been in it for all the wrong reasons.

Like what?

I'm not very proud of this,

but, uh... maybe I was a little dazzled
by the circle you travel in.

So you were with me just so you could be
around some famous people?

It's not as though
I wasn't fond of you as well.

Fond of me?
Oh, well, thank you very much.

I understand that you're upset,
and I'm just gonna go.

I don't believe this. My friends.

Look, I know it's shallow, and it's
something I'm gonna have to work on.

Hi, Sam. How are you?

Lesley! Hello!

It's Frasier Crane.
We met this weekend.

- How are you? Hi.
- Hi.

What kind of sick bastard are you?

You're right.
We're just having a little bit of a spat,

but of course, I don't need to tell you,
being the ace reporter that you are.

- Oh, just get out of here right now.
- Right. Okay, fine.

If you're in town a while,
maybe we could have lunch.

- Get out!
- Oh!

What is the matter with me? Lesley?

Call me.