Original subtitles

okay and what a beautiful morning it is

in downtown l.a and kim you're here with

the traffic but before we do

here's the big question for our

listeners fifth caller will get free

tickets to the katy perry concert

here's the question what color dress was

kim kardashian wearing at last night's

award show

fifth caller wins i'd like to win them

myself

well anyway kim do you have the traffic

on hand

yes i do bill and isn't the weather

looking sunny and fantastic for this

time of year

there is rush hour traffic on the 101

south and

there does seem to be a fender bender

but everything seems to go

yeah but what does nike offer

you're the best sports agent in the

world

yeah i'm headed to the airport right

uh-huh as we speak

[Music]

hello hello

joe okay i i hear you now

do what turn all right i'm gonna radio

now

good morning everyone we have breaking

news from downtown la

we have several unconfirmed reports that

several hundred people have vanished

yes that's right have vanished

throughout the city match to all known

locations

again very little is known at this

moment

again we interrupt this program with

this breaking news story

the city is in something of a panic

right now we're getting news that

massive traffic jams are everywhere

the unimaginable has happened hundreds

perhaps thousands of people have

disappeared

from the face of the earth

what's going on i don't know i just

heard on the news tons of people

disappeared

that's what i heard too

this is ridiculous all four lanes are

back but they're like emergency vehicles

oiling

they're seeing like millions have

disappeared across the world

i can't breathe look at all these stupid

cars no one's going anywhere

the rapture happened the rapture what is

that

you don't want to know lady you don't

want to know

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are you afraid sorry are

you afraid no

why do you ask the bible you're reading

it

i always read it what's the point

it was written

it's all fabrication

this

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stop

so

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foreign

hey

yes

ready

in palermo

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is

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can't believe it bro first round of the

chargers yeah yeah

that was the last round so uh

how much was that contract man i wasn't

much

yeah dude what you gonna do with all the

money

i don't know man i figured i'd give me a

nice little spread

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cars

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hold on hold on what are you doing

didn't you read the selling

we ain't selling anything how did you

get in here all right relax

relax all right the door was open and no

i didn't read the sign

the door was closed it was open

just put the bread on the counter

brother the counter back away come on

five five five five there it is you

don't know who i am i i play for the

chargers

i don't like baseball

the first angel sounded and hell and

fire

followed mingled with blood and they

were thrown to the earth

and a third of the trees were burned up

and all why are you tripping off of this

i mean you said god was a loving god

right yeah

he's a loving god and he's also a god of

judgment

he can't let evil persist it's gonna

come to an end

a resolution

when he comes and takes us up

then it's gonna be the end

don't be deceived

i'll take my chances

[Music]

rochelle greenspan rochelle

i know a rochelle pathetic

professor wiseman rochelle

hi i've been thinking about this thesis

and

i'm sorry i just can't do it i'm gonna

have to drop out of class

how disappointing you were one of the

top students in philosophy

what's come over you i had an experience

and it made me a believer

so what does your football star husband

have to say about that he's not too

happy about it

i imagine so wow

can you prove god exists

yes i can well

then that will be your thesis

thank you professor

all right michelle let's see if he got

some good stuff for me

oh

all right come on

a bible of all the suitcases

i have to get another christians

ridiculous

tuesday may 19th

i'm stranded on an island

somewhere in the southern pacific

plane went down suddenly

i am the only survivor

wait a minute what happened to that

woman sitting next to me are you afraid

sorry are you

afraid no

why do you ask the bible you're reading

it

that doesn't make any sense really

well then tell me do you believe that

julius caesar existed

of course from the cockpit again where

we're asking everything okay

what's going on i'm not sure sir

i don't know i'm gonna go check with the

pilot everyone needs to have their seat

belt faster than just trying to stay

calm sir i need your seat up in the

upright position

where is she everyone needs i have no

idea was just here

where did she go i don't know she was

right here

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that's not possible

oh no please no

this cannot be happening no

uh

maria

no

that

is

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me

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foreign

hey

is

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foreign

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videos

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foreign

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ah

oh

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is

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foreign

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foreign

foreign

the next station is

so

like

oh

foreign

no

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we're conducting a survey of all men

between the ages of 18 and 25.

for what military duty you're to report

to tent camp a

tomorrow morning why what's this for

we're recruiting all men for the

conflicts both abroad and at home

i don't understand are you sure you got

the right guy it's emergency orders

ratified by congress you'll find out

when you get to camp tomorrow

sir but stop asking questions

show the sergeant some respect i'm not

going anywhere

is that right get on your knees

now corporal

hey say the word wait wait

we'll be coming back tomorrow i suggest

you be ready

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i miss my wife the fun-loving

cheerleader

what happened to you

a leaf bug what

a leaf bug i was sitting on a bench back

in march

in the park and i saw this little bug

and he had the shape of a leaf

i mean suddenly everything just started

to make sense to me at that point

i saw a guy with this huge sense of

humor

the only defense mechanism of this

little bug was the fact

that he looked like a leaf and he had

the shape of a leaf

i mean can you imagine that how can

something like that

come out of nothing

i mean come on haven't you ever just

stopped to think about things like that

now

excuse me miss i'm trying to get a plane

ticket out of here

my credit card doesn't work but i have

some cash unfortunately

all of the flights are completely sold

out sold out

come on what about mexico city

guam peru tokyo look the last flight

sold out

nine hours ago i'm just packing up

they're shutting down

lax tomorrow sir do you watch the news

oh

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foreign

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foreign

so

pika

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foreign

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rika rika

you don't know

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i'm

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so

so

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thank you

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i'm out in the middle of nowhere

a plane crash last night

i'm so scared please help me lord

well so much for your prayer lady

that's where it got you

[Applause]

is it irrational to believe in god

i believe it is mary

you disagree with me why i just believe

in god

ed i don't believe in god sir

good man you know what ticks me off

stupid declarative sentences don't give

me

a declarative sentence unless you can

prove it

now rochelle continue why do you believe

in god

faith it's the only way i've seen

answers to my prayers

answers to your prayers

something funny bill it just sounds so

stupid

it's not stupid people can believe in

prayer

even if they're wrong continue

rochelle i remember standing at the

ocean

and i said lord speak for your servant

is listening

and right at that exact moment there was

this loud thunder

and the sky turned all red

i mean that was one self-authenticating

experience

i mean if we base the proof of god

on that criteria alone it proves god

exists

how absurd why is it

that you are the only one who's had this

sensory experience

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ah

oh you piece of junk

this cannot be happening

but you don't understand if i get an f

in this course i won't graduate

correct but my grandma put all our life

savings into this tuition

that's not my problem is it what about

your rich husband the pro football

player

he wants a divorce

[Music]

well you get half no i don't

i let him keep it all

last

a

um

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my

[Applause]

so

bill the situation is deteriorating by

the day

chaos is raining in the cities around

the world right now people are wondering

where their missing friends and

relatives are

look i gotta get out of the country any

ticket will do

what do you mean all sold out everywhere

it's getting out of control in l.a

demonstrations were held outside staples

center where a curfew is now in effect

no one can go out after 5 pm

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hey guys look this hey hey hey what's up

hey buddy i think you'll be the problem

here

we're not saying to you tomorrow

you aren't trying to run are you boy i'm

just trying to get out of the country

no one's leaving the country you idiot

they're shutting down all the airports

tonight

who the heck are you a cop

cop

who are you guys we're military

contractors

that's right then you know keep in order

yeah we

the new law new law

y'all don't get it

it's happening the rapture

all the people that vanished

they believed i believe yeah i believe

this guy's

nuts i believe you're in trouble oh i'm

a believer

i think we best go out in style yeah

what is your bank account number one

changing

what is your bank account number

of the accounts work i'm not going to

see this again

what's it city page

number this guy is sitting on a personal

fortune of three million dollars

baby make money money

let me tell you you send this to my bank

account right now

and we'll let you go your account

ah let me get a piece of that man shut

up

you guys later what about me what about

you

back down back down your addiction

what do you say

none of the money is going to matter

well then it's not gonna matter if you

hit send now is it

yeah use your pinky finger the one you

dropped the ball with

come on now

there we go there we go

boys we just made the fastest three meal

possible

money money

i don't want a divorce

you've already gone through this babe

okay

i mean you're looking fine now

you're a millionaire not bad for a

cheerleader

come on i didn't marry you for your

money

i can't be with the religious zealot i

didn't sign up for that

i'm not a zealot i just love

jesus why don't you get it

your papers are on the counter

hi hi um i'm your neighbor from down the

street

what's more of you um i'm sorry um

can i come in look i'm really busy

please

please just sorry i just i need to sit

call 9-1-1 there is no 9-1-1

what's

foreign

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foreign

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foreign

keiko

mark this there will be terrible times

in the last days

people will be lovers of themselves

i don't love myself lovers of money

i don't have any money boastful

do i seem boastful i'm eating a loaf of

bread

from a bag abusive

i'm not being abusive my ex-husband was

abusive i left him

disobedient to parents i'm not you know

what he used to call me disobedient

ungrateful i love my parents unholy

i pray without love

unforgiving i'm full of love and i

forgive everybody i even forgive my

ex-husband

slanderous without self-control

i'm not eating the whole love brutal

not lovers of the good i love everything

good

treacherous i am very relaxed

lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of

god

we all thought we were christian

prove to me that god

exists isn't god's existence

a belief not a science

what's your name susan susan

don't come in here with a washed up

answer like that

ever again i don't think it was a washed

up answer

i think it's true we can prove the

existence of god

by the impossibility of the contrary the

transcendent proof

that god exists is based on the

impossibility

that without him nothing could be proven

let's say that i asked this gentleman in

the back row

to show that he can fly by

flapping his arms that would be a very

unusual

request and it would be up to me and to

him

to prove to demonstrate that he could

fly

and if he can't demonstrate it

we don't believe that he can fly

i believe he can fly whether he does or

doesn't doesn't disprove that belief

our belief in god is not based on some

magic trick

very eloquently spoken for a cheerleader

john can you prove to me that god exists

i can't very well

simon prove to me god exists

i have faith that i didn't say faith i

said

proof look around uh the planets the

trees the stars that's your proof of god

uh yeah you've just proven

your ignorance

of all the bloody

listen i'm looking for this cat named

frankie

you know why they want to find frankie

i know you're trying to escape the seven

seals judgments eh

how do you know the look on your

pathetic

face tells you oh another last person

who

thought they were christian

right hey it's gonna be real hard

escaping the us you're not the only one

who wisened up

and realizes that they should have

repented

time to face the consequences sunny boy

you're gonna die alone here

i can't wait to see the 75 pound

hailstone squishing you like a bug

hey hey wake up

you know nothing about prophecy do you

daniel 7 says behold a fourth beast

dreadful and terrible and strong

exceedingly

and it had red great

iron teeth

we're too busy watching saturday night

live to even care

too busy about voting democrats

i'm republicans too busy listening to

jon stewart versus bill o'reilly

we ignored jesus when he said

look up because your redemption

draws

[Music]

you don't recognize me

no

i wasn't tv

preaching

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can't escape i'm back here

you can't escape

[Music]

prove to me god exists

uh i have faith that i didn't say faith

i said proof

look around uh the planets the trees

stars that's your proof of god

you've just proven your ignorance

faith it's the only way i've seen

answers to my prayers

answers to your prayers

all right baby come on now

work

[Music]

in more news all of tonight's games have

been called off indefinitely

which is no surprise the world is still

in a state of panic

carol our financial expert is with us

bill

thanks dan as you know stocks continue

to plummet to no end

this is 50 times worse than the great

depression

analysts agree the dow is now closing

below

1200. and what are banks doing to

prevent the run

what right now depositors can only

what about my my savings

i want my money you idiots

wow how does the government expect

people to pay their rent and eat

they don't oh

society

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hey

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bruno

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is

[Applause]

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hey

thank you

[Applause]

oh

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uh

okay come on please

someone pick up please

northern pacific how may i help you can

you hear me

hello yes how can i help you oh this

thing works

unbelievable listen uh this is tom

wiseman i'm stranded on a desert island

in the middle of pacific ocean

lower your voice i i'm the only

survivor of flight 345 out of auckland

new zealand

you need to send a rescue team for me

right away

are you there hello do you know how many

planes went down

too many to count are are you saying

that

all of the pilots disappeared sir

millions have disappeared

consider yourself lucky that you're on

an island what are you what are you

trying to say

it will be days possibly weeks before

they have the time to look for you

and there are no more rescue teams i'm

sorry look idiot

you just committed a crime under the new

hate crime act

for what for calling me an idiot well

you are an idiot

i will report you to the police send the

police

to this island to arrest me idiot idiot

idiot

hello

we're crying out loud

foreign

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foreign

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ah

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hey hey colin frank

come here i have an idea how long i've

been looking for you i've been

stop your whining you're not the only

person to try to get out of the country

over here i'm busy

hey where's my money

i promise i'll get you looking you are

wasting my time it's my money

look i promise i'll give it to you once

i get access to my account

you guys like a bunch of pinheads man i

mean you christians

you know it's like uh they want to prove

their dedication to christ by doing what

drum roll

leaving the country

look i promise i'll get you the money

what's that

man you're a poser

you tell me you didn't see this coming

you didn't see the world

dismantling by the second we used to

have thou shalt

not kill on the walls but they took it

down

why because they didn't want to offend

nobody now

i'm sure they'd rather have offended

kids than dead kids

and the doors they would not allow a

bible into

or the same doors they have to put metal

detectors around

so they say where's god where's god in

all this tragedy

now we're left to do what

wave a christian flag at all these

little christian outposts

saying i'm sorry jesus you know

you're the man i i i wish i would have

known uh

can i help you out can i prove myself

when all the real christians got caught

up in the rapture

i'm trying to hear this right now yeah

you and nobody else want to hear it

just give me your thinking before i

guess let me say something

i will put a hole in your heart

don't threaten me unless you want to die

today

now you back up and you go off to your

great tribulation

go on

that's right we're trying to wipe

christianity off the map

and we've succeeded give me a break

no we're not some political organization

on campus that you need to kick off all

right

we're just here evangelizing lost tribes

around i don't care

we're going to shut you down

i didn't come to argue with you okay i

mean i just wanted to let you know the

paper you filed against us is preventing

us from evangelizing anywhere

who cares they want to eat other humans

let them eat other humans

god cares

only morons believe in god

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ah

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thank goodness

[Music]

usc hello usc this is professor wiseman

is jenny there

hello is jenny there

jenny's dead she killed herself two days

ago

[Music]

that's unfortunate that doesn't sound

like her but

what about what about steve mcpherson uh

marty fry everyone's gone

the school is closed captioning not

listen available don't hang up on me i

called a little earlier

i i'm the sole survivor of flight

345 from auckland to los angeles

the plane crashed i'm on an island

somewhere

all right are you are you following me

hang on sir i need to transfer you to

civilian

wait wait cap emergency search what are

you reporting

i'm i'm the sole survivor of flight

345 from auckland and i need to

report we located where you are

you have oh that's great

um how did you know what flight i was on

that's actor billy von effie's flat

right yes yes but he's

fish food let's just move on where

am i keep your phone on we have two

people right now through rescue

coordination in guam logging you through

comsat

oh i cannot tell you how

happy i am that i finally got through

we had over 700 planes disappeared

you're the only survivor who actually

called 700

uh well what are things like

back home you don't want to know the

banks are all shut down

the lakers aren't playing rides

everywhere no food

the lakers aren't playing huh

look just just find me i'm i'm going out

of my mind out here

we located you is this tom weisman yes

we've been trying to contact you you

spoke with another operator

where am i you're on

get off the island very dangerous what

what what did you say you're on well

get off why why why why is it why is the

island dangerous trav tribe

what tribe hello

hello what an

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idiot

[Applause]

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[Applause]

oh

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see

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foreign

though

is

winter

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foreign

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song

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foreign

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sorry man

it's all about money in the end

he's right it's all about the money

foreign

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foreign

[Laughter]

foreign

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foreign

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this

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oh

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ugh

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cohen colin hey what are you doing here

did you get a ticket yet

no yeah i'm looking too so you finally

believe

huh yeah the rapture

you were right i mean what are you gonna

do the airport is closing in like a

couple hours

oh what else can i do

yeah you know i uh i think i'm just

gonna stay here

all right see you later wait wait

am i ever gonna see you again probably

not

why didn't god warn us he did

we just didn't listen but i thought you

said all christians were fake

not all christians some are real

i take my if chances rapture is

true

then i believe you can't live for christ

now honey

what makes you think you're going to be

able to die for him then

when all hell breaks this

[Music]

are you calling yes you don't remember

me

no here i have a ticket it's from my

airlines mile reward so anyone can use

it

you don't know no i'm a friend of

rachelle's we met last

at the last christmas party

yes i i remember i remember now you sure

you don't need this

that was my husband's ticket but he also

vanished so

she tried to bring me to christ and i

didn't listen

she lived to bring people to christ

sure well good luck you better leave now

here

give it to someone else i don't

understand

i'm gonna stay here

which the prince

of glory

died my

riches

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oh my

pride

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is

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and so

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oh

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oh

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be true

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foreign

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my life

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[Applause]

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oh is

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oh

[Applause]

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[Applause]

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oh

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[Applause]

is

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[Applause]

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oh

[Applause]

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[Applause]

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um

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you