Original subtitles

This is a CalVista presentation.

It's simply just incredible, unforgettable.

If you know what I mean, it's a beautiful world.

A living energy.

Let the world go by.

Turn out the home.

Turn off the telephone.

Tell nobody home.

It's simply just incredible.

Unforgettable, if you know what I mean. It's a beautiful world.

And even in a whole dream.

We can

take it slow.

It's simply just incredible.

Stephen, did you know I put in about 100 hours this week alone on that Ashbury

case? Poor baby.

Yes, what could be worse than being a lawyer?

Being a lawyer's wife.

It takes a strong person to bend the law.

Bending is one thing, but what about keeping it straight?

Oh, haven't I been straight with you, darling?

Straight, but not in my direction.

You hot shot lawyers never pay attention to your wives. It's just work, work,

work. What do you mean? I took you to the fights on Friday.

Never even had to leave the house.

Look, here we all are, having a wonderful dinner, like we do every

night. You girls should appreciate the attention.

Oh, we do, we do. Yes, masters.

You know, you girls don't realize that you were lucky to marry three hard

-working bastards like us.

Yes, you're working, but not working to get hard.

Stephen, are you going to let your wife talk to me like that?

Beverly, would you please keep a civil tongue in my mouth?

What's funny about that?

When you're doing it, Darlene, it's not fun.

Doing what?

Never mind.

Why are you dumb?

Michael, what was the verdict in the Asbury case?

A hung jury.

You mean they were all men?

Beverly, must your mind always be on sex?

Yes. Well, here's to Beverly.

Here's to sex.

Long may it wait. In our direction.

Why are you girls always so horny?

We're married to workaholics.

We're living in a dream world.

You give us affection on your own terms when you have time.

Well, would you like us all to quit our jobs? Would that make you happy, Beth?

Of course not. Now you're jumping from the sublime to the ridiculous.

Yes, let's not run counterpoint to reality.

Well, what do you suggest, Gail? Living in a fantasy?

We do it all the time.

We have to go to the bathroom.

What do you mean, we?

Us wives. Come on, girls.

Why do you suppose they always go to the john in a group?

Lesbians.

They're probably back there talking about law again.

You don't think they'd be talking about us?

Oh, yeah, they're probably calling us lesbians.

I haven't had a really good fucking so long.

Tired or not, Stephen's going to give it to me tonight. I think he's kind of

cute. I wouldn't mind a taste of that.

Hey, private property.

That's not what his secretary says.

What? I'm just kidding.

Sandy, I'm surprised to hear you talk like that. He's my husband. Sorry, it's

the wine. Just a harmless little fantasy.

Well, don't use my husband for your fantasy.

Okay, I'll use Gail's. Sure, use Carl. I've worn him out.

That stuff never wears out. You can use it over and over.

Or you could just have a fantasy.

Carl,

did you know that sneezing in public is against the law in Nebraska?

No, I wasn't aware of that.

Are we in Nebraska?

No. I think we should get back. The boys might miss us.

Yeah, starving for our love.

I think you mean dinner.

Come on, Sandy, let's go.

I have to tinkle, but please give my respects.

Your what?

See you at the table.

Steve, have you heard any more about that Liberace case?

It may not go to court.

Oh, here come the girl.

Hello?

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, fuck you, baby.

Oh, my

pussy is

so wet.

Oh, fuck me.

Oh, I want it so bad.

she was unhappy with the waiter here she's trying to get some extra service

Did you know that in San Francisco, it's against the law to spit on your

laundry? No.

No, I wasn't. But in Marblehead, Massachusetts, it's against the law to

the streets on Sunday.

In Detroit, you're not allowed to fall asleep in the bathtub.

In one town in Illinois, it's against the law for a 200 -pound woman to wear

shorts while riding a horse.

Well, in Wichita, it's against the law to carry a concealed bean snapper.

In Oxford, Ohio, it's against the law for a woman to undress in front of a

photograph of a man.

In Iowa.

Cedar Rapids, I believe.

It's against the law to kiss a stranger.

Yeah, well, to take a bath in Boston, you must have a doctor's written

prescription. You can't show a film with a price fighter in it in Kansas.

I'd better swear out a warrant for Rocky.

Ah, you can't ride a camel down the main highways of Nevada.

In Hawaii, it's against the law to insert pennies in your ear.

You can't set fire to a mule in Maine.

In Michigan, a husband and wife must live together or go to prison.

Hey, I remember this one.

It's against the law to drive more than 2 ,000 sheep down Hollywood Boulevard.

Bad. And I love sheep.

Did you know that it was against the law to blow your nose in public?

In Waterville, Maine.

In Michigan.

A woman's hair is the private property of her husband.

Well, in Chicago, you cannot drink standing up.

Legally, that is. Well, gentlemen, it seems as though we're in the right

position for a little vino.

Yeah. Yes, to San Francisco, where it's illegal to buy a glass of milk.

Or peel an orange in your hotel room.

Oh, welcome back.

Are you ready to order, dear?

Meat.

I'll have a vegetable plate.

Well, let's get that waiter in here.

Damn. What's the matter, dear?

I think I lost my contact lens.

Oh, let me help you find it.

No, that's all right.

It's probably under the table.

I'll find it.

The red snapper looks good.

Yeah, it does.

I like calamari. Not the calamari, baby.

Finding anything, Beth?

Oh, definitely. I can't wait.

The only problem is Gail wants to come and you know my affinity for hookers.

Seems like she's been down there for a long time.

Yeah, as well.

I wonder if they have any salmon.

I don't know what the catch of the day is.

You

know,

Sandy, Michael tells me that before you were married, you had quite an interest

in motorcycling.

You know, it seems kind of strange to me that a young girl could have such a

passion for motorcycles.

Isn't it true that it wasn't only motorcycles you were interested?

It was also bikers?

Isn't it also true that you lived among the hell's angels?

Michael, you promised you wouldn't tell.

And is it also not true that you have taken several spills on motorcycles?

In fact, in February 1970, you took an incredible spill getting a...

tremendous scar on your left shoulder, subsequently trying to hide it with a

tattoo. How could you do this to me? Is that true, that you go down on bikes

quite often?

I like motorcycles.

Answer the question.

I have a real weakness for tailpipes.

Must have exhausted you.

Did you find it, dear?

Meat. I thought you wanted the vegetable plate.

Oh, yes, dear. That's right.

I have a smudge.

Maybe I'll have a Chateaubriand.

Darling, that's Chateaubriand.

Ah, then just give me a steak.

Rare. So, Stephen, how are you doing on the game showcase?

I'm defending the producers.

The case looks very strong.

This contestant claims that he was coached. Given the answers ahead of

that never happens.

These game shows are on the up and up.

And now, from Hollywood, California, the nation's favorite game show on the up

and up. And now, from our studio audience, come on down, Dale...

You ought to be because it's all on the up and up. Now, you know the rules. You

have to guess which one is your husband.

Is the blindfold in place?

Yes. Can I use my hands?

Well, you may use your hands and your mouth.

Ready? Go.

Because you came so fast.

Oh. You win, Gail.

What do we win?

A round -trip ticket to Baltimore.

All expenses paid.

You must leave on Monday between 7 and 9 a .m. You must return Thursday on the

Red Eye Special.

You and your guests will be staying at the fabulous Motel 6 near the freeway.

And all meals complimentary of Denny's. From coast to coast, your restaurants

for the most. And that's not all. A $25 gift certificate from Kmart.

And a year's supply of goldfish food. All to you, Gail, for being on the Up

Up.

I love you, darling.

I love you, darling.

But you've got to order.

You can't just sit there in a brown study.

Oh, yeah.

Food. Yeah, let's eat.

Good idea, Sandy, my love.

Oh, kisses, kisses.

How about salad?

Meat. Some meat.

Meat.

It was great being with everybody tonight, wasn't it, Bev?

I like being alone better.

I mean, it was just really good being with all our old friends.

What about them?

Huh?

They don't appreciate my sense of humor.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe you're right.

What are you, uh... What are you doing dressed like a vampire?

Because, darling, I love to suck.

Oh, really?

Why, Bev, you never told me that you were kinky.

Hey, Beth.

I want to lick your pussy.

Vaporov.

Thank you.

The one your mother gave you?

Yes.

Darling, you know they're under the pillow. Will you always leave them?

Oh, yes, right.

Carl, you know, you haven't made love to me in over two weeks. Is there anything

wrong? No, no, I'm just worried about that First Amendment case.

So what? You're not working on that.

Yeah, I know, but if you care about freedom as a citizen of the United

you care about the case.

Honey... You don't have to go into the bathroom to change. Why don't you

here in front of me?

What about brushing my teeth? No more excuses.

Look, you're going to give it to me tonight.

You're going to ram that beautiful cock into this pussy and make me scream for

mercy. What?

Look, I want you.

Stop acting so goddamn innocent.

You know, Gail, I never heard you talk this way before.

Look, Carl, I'm a law widow. You work constantly.

I sit home, I daydream. You know what I dream about?

You. Making love to me, making me come and come until I just scream, until I

can't stand it anymore.

Come here. Remember the first time we ever made love?

I don't know you felt this way, darling.

You just couldn't tell the difference.

Oh, Carl.

Carl!

Daddy!

I want you, baby.

It's been too long.

Oh, baby, you taste so good.

You gonna take it all?

No.

Lie down, darling.

Fuck me.

Oh.

Oh,

yes.

Come on, deep breath in.

Yeah.

you have to be looking at these dumb law books.

Yeah, I just have to work on that First Amendment case.

Couldn't you put it down and work on my case for a little while?

Well, I guess Sidney will just have to wait.

All right.

Fuck you.

Oh, your tongue feels so good inside of my pussy.

inside of me.

Oh.

Oh, yeah, all the way.

Oh.

Oh, God, this feels good.

Oh, your cock is so big and hard.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

I like it rough.

Yeah.

Oh.

Yep.

If you know what I mean, it's the beauty of love.

Living in a dream.

Whoever said it was you?

Living in a dream.

Falling all night long.

In the perfect dream.

It's simply just incredible, unforgettable.

If you know what I mean, it's the beauty of love.

Whoever said it wasn't wrong to live an enemy's dream?

Whoever said it wasn't wrong to live an enemy's dream?

Let me in.

What do you want?

You.

My parents are watching TV.

Is the door locked?

Yeah, of course.

You're looking at all those dirty pictures.

Don't you want the real thing?

Yeah, sure.

Open this window.

Would you watch for me?

Turn off the light.

Is this what you were doing?

Huh? Yeah.

The pictures don't feel bad, do they?

Do you know what to do with that thing?

You know, I'd really like to show you what it feels like inside of me.

Would you like that?

How much?

We learned that.

Oh, baby.

Oh, I am so horny.

Don't you have a place where your customers can go and work off their

frustration? Oh, sure.

Baby, follow me.

Follow me.

I just can't wait for them.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, your tongue feels good.

Baby, you are hot.

Oh, it looks like you have something.

That's fine with me.

Oh,

let me second.

Yeah.

Ooh.

Get up.

Get on your knees.

Oh, yeah.

Ooh.

Jesus.

Oh, shit.

Oh, wow.

Oh.

I can't believe it. Oh, God. The first time this ever happened to my soul.

Shit. I'll be back.

So long.

You're bad.

Yeah.

Oh,

this

is great, but I'd really love to get fucked.

All those things have been done.

Good. Good.

Good. Good.

Good.

Good.

Good. Good.

Good. Good.

Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good.

Good.

Good.

I'll be here.

I'm going to come on her tits.

You come on her tits, baby.

Oh, come on.

Oh, yeah. Come on.

Jerky.

Jerky. Oh, yeah.

Good baby.

Oh, God.

Keep going. I know.

Ooh.

Ooh. Ooh.

Did it come over your head? Yeah.

Oh, come on, baby.

Michael, any news in that Finkel case?

A hung jury.

Not again.

Here's to feeling good.

Here's to sex.

Long may it wait.

Hear, hear.

In my fantasy, it's simply just incredible,

unforgettable.

If you know what I mean, it's a beautiful world.

A living energy.

Let the world go by.

Baby, turn out the lights.

Turn off the telephone.

And tell them nobody's home.

It's simply just incredible, unforgettable, if you know what I mean.