Original subtitles

Ah, good man.

We need an extra hand.

Actually, no, I'm here to see C .C. Lawsley.

But, um, what is going on?

The most important two days in Great Slaughter's calendar, that's what.

No, no, no, not yellow.

I need red, white and blue for the Queen. Yeah, OK.

The Queen is coming.

She's over there.

Her throne's not ready yet.

Your Majesty!

You're right on time.

Preparations are almost complete, but we could still use some help.

For what exactly?

The Great Slaughter Scarecrow Festival, of course.

Right. It makes sense. Where am I here for you, by the way? Good of you to step

in as official police liaison. Wonderful!

Great to have you on board.

Sir, if I may have a moment of your time.

It's a nightmare, isn't it?

I hate how the scarecrows just stare at you.

It gives me the eebie -jeebies.

Yeah. It's like that one.

What is that one even meant to be?

Morning, Sarge.

Good of you to volunteer.

It didn't exactly happen like that.

I'm just here to watch this year.

Wouldn't miss it for the world.

Me neither.

I thought you said that... It's all so fun, really, isn't it?

Of course, it could be the last year it's on, depending how the vote goes.

Vote? See if it's going to come back or not.

After what happened last year, half the village wanted it banned.

That was all blown out of proportion, Norm.

Tell that to Mr Carter.

He's still got the scar.

Maybe it's all for a good cause.

What about the farmer's youth charity?

After tomorrow, they might need to find another way to fundraise.

Sergeant Livingstone, we're starting.

Might need your own crowd control.

Don't tell me you support this nonsense.

It turns the whole village into a public house.

I'm not complaining.

Please tell me we can count on your vote to free us from this straw -filled

stranglehold.

Well, um, well, no. Actually, I think it's rather wonderful what people can

create with straw and a bit of imagination.

And I can't say no to a cash prize.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to this, the annual Great Slaughter

Scarecrow Festival.

all in support of the Farmers Youth Charity. Now, we have a wonderful

weekend ahead of us, helping this great cause, and I'm sure you'll all agree,

bringing much joy to the whole village.

Tomfoolery, more like.

Now, you will find scarecrows scattered all around the village, each themed with

different categories.

The individual winners will then go on to compete for the grand prize at the

closing ceremony tomorrow, and then the overall winner will go home with a cash

prize of... seven pounds.

Seven? It was ten last year.

Yes. Now, after last year's events, I

think it prudent that I should remind you... or that, well, any instances of

scarecrow sabotage will result in instant disqualification. We will

also not tolerate any fighting, kicking, punching, or biting.

With all that said, it gives me great pleasure to announce this festival well

and truly underway.

The Red Sea.

A strong start, sisters.

I thought we'd cracked it this time.

Doesn't Moses bear a striking resemblance to Joseph from last year,

the decode of many colours?

All right, keep your voice down.

Everything all right?

My scarecrow's head. Won't you stay on straight?

It's more sure.

One who takes some of our leftovers.

Oh, sorry.

Hay fever.

Thanks for this.

Very generous of you.

Helping out the competition.

Charlie Sanderson.

Competition.

Sergeant Livingston, you're a man of good sense.

Surely you can help us put an end to all this.

You've got no need to swear, Tom.

They steal his straw, you know.

Can we count on your vote?

Well, I wouldn't think it would be quite appropriate for me to say while I'm

working in official capacity.

Of course.

Fine effort, Martin.

Get back!

Took me hours to get his cigar at the right jaunty angle.

Martin's won the last six years in a row.

I heard your head's fallen off.

Again. I'm fixing it. And who's running the shop while you're faffing about

here?

You all right?

Oh, I slipped off a ladder doing inventory at the shop.

You work at Sanderson's, don't you?

Oh, you came in the other weekend. Yeah, you remember.

Not too many customers these days.

I'm his godfather. I help him run the shop for my sins.

Oh,

thanks for your help.

Excuse me.

Oh, God.

What now?

Sandra, you're an angel.

It won't take a moment.

That's my auntie, Sandra.

What? Well, not my auntie, auntie, but my mum's best friend.

Do you know, she was the one who convinced me to become a WPC in the

place.

Everyone else said it was a silly idea, but she always told me never to give up.

Well, we owe her money, thanks.

What are you doing?

Just lending a hand.

That is an egregious breaking of the rules. No outside help. It's collusion.

Oh, have a heart.

He hasn't got one.

Sour grapes, Clementine.

I must insist.

I think we'll allow it this time.

So, what have we here? Ah, yes.

For our fairy tale category, Rapunzel in her tower, waiting for her knight in

shining armour to whisk... her away from her life of drudgery, I presume.

I'm sorry.

I'm just having a bad day.

Moving swiftly on.

Scarecrow, you've entered.

You've finally convinced me.

How could you?

My own sister?

I've been telling her to enter for years.

She's so talented.

It's breakfast at Tiffany's.

You know, I love that scene where they're looking for the cat at the end.

I'm sorry, you big softy.

Does she do any other poses?

What are you doing?

Please. It's just the prize money.

Martin,

time to settle up. I'm just collecting entry fees.

I've already paid.

No record of any payment. Check again.

Ah, here we are.

My mistake.

I'll deal with you later.

We'll kick off with the award for best Bible story. This was a really tough

decision, but the winner is...

Alas, sisters of St.

Vincent. How dare I?

Five times in a row.

I'm the first and only one in the cutting room.

No one goes up against the nuns.

Good morning.

You do know they're full of straw, right?

Hello.

I've got to see this Churchill everyone's banging on about.

Martin is our main competition now.

worry.

That's a terrible Churchill.

I heard there was an incident.

A murder, I think we can safely say, from the obvious cause of death.

A tiki eye to the eyes and face, bruising around the neck, all hallmark

Strangulation. but we're shouting distance from half the village. Surely

heard a cry for help.

Well, note the straw stuffed in his mouth.

Taking care of that problem.

Ooh, there's something sticky.

And no one in the other displays reported seeing or hearing anything out

ordinary. I'm afraid this rather dashes our hopes of potential fingerprints.

I can check for incriminating fibres.

Not much to go on in the meantime.

Well, leaving us rather clutching at straws.

Come on, now.

Don't be corny. Oh, very good.

Now, what do we have here?

That's Winston Churchill.

Martin Stoker.

Why is it all scrunched up?

Maybe you weren't happy with it.

Unlikely, given he was the bookie's favourite.

Mrs. Clann did report seeing him doing finishing touches to a scarecrow at

around 10 a .m. When everyone else is at the first judging ceremony.

Let's find out who else wasn't at that ceremony.

If I might have your attention, please.

I am afraid that Martin Hubbard has been found dead.

And tragically...

It would appear to be murder.

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

We'll cancel the Morris dancers, of course.

Yes, of course.

Sir, do you think it's appropriate if we continue with this at all?

No, no, no.

I'm sure Martin would have wanted us to go ahead.

I think he'd prefer to still be breathing.

Besides, his death blows his whole competition wide open.

Oh, Sandra, I'm so sorry about your brother.

I can't believe he's gone.

And the last time we spoke, we argued about this.

Stupid competition.

I'll have to drop out now.

Are you sure?

Jess wouldn't be right.

I saw the killer.

What? After Sister Reginald went to fetch help, I heard footsteps behind me,

when I turned around, there was a scarecrow.

So who did you see?

A scarecrow.

A scarecrow.

It must have come alive and killed Martin.

That's what I saw.

Wait, did you see anything else? Now then, who ordered the carrot cake?

Perhaps Martin's house will have something more substantial to go on.

That sends quite the

message.

With the last straw for someone.

Oh, very good.

Hmm. Looks like a sharp blade's been used on his shirts.

Kitchen scissors, perhaps.

And in quite a frenzy, judging by the jagged cuts.

But they fail to consider our old friend Leucard.

There's traces of something there.

Looks like metal refilings.

I need to take a creepy look back at the lab.

Sister, look at that.

Oh, yes.

Well spotted.

We've narrowed our list of suspects for those who went to the first prize

ceremony. They all claimed that they were keeping an eye on their display.

This is the last thing the festival needs after last year.

What exactly happened last year?

Someone accused the Great Florida WI of sabotage and then everything kicked off.

Before you knew it, there were limbs flying everywhere.

Scarecrow limbs, we should clarify.

Do you think Martin's death could have something to do with the festival?

He was the frontrunner.

Well, we certainly can't rule anything out.

Well, here's one thing we do know.

This mystery substance we found on the straw in Martin's mouth is insoluble in

water. Gas chromatography confirms it's petroleum jelly.

The foggiest idea why that would be there.

Lubrication isn't exactly efficacious when it comes to strangulation.

And here's another enigma.

I've checked the handwriting against other samples in Martin's house.

And they aren't a match.

Meaning? Meaning someone else drew them.

Could someone have helped him with his scarecrow?

But that's against the rules.

I'll need handwriting samples from our suspects to see if one of them drew them

instead. Oh, and one more thing.

Note the contusions on his knuckles.

Martin was in a fight recently.

Martin and Charlie weren't getting on this morning, and Charlie had some kind

injury. But Martin's Charlie's godfather.

They're like family.

Palsy didn't seem too friendly earlier.

The judges and I will now confirm, and in a few moments we will announce the

prize for our next category, Best Celebrity.

Can we have a word?

Martin loves this category.

I can't believe he's not here.

We'd like to talk about your injury.

You said it was an accident at work.

Martin had bruising on his knuckles.

Want to tell us what really happened?

Um... Look, it was nothing, really.

It was just an argument.

Fair enough to come to blows.

I had a few ideas about how to expand the business.

Martin wouldn't listen.

Why not?

He said we weren't in any place to be taking risks.

He called me a half -wit.

And that caused a fight?

My mum never went to school.

People called her stupid all her life, even though she opened a shop.

So how did Martin end up getting involved in the business?

My mum died.

I was all on my own. I was only ten.

And Martin stepped up to help.

He's my legal guardian.

The shop was in a bad way. He saved me, really.

But he wouldn't let you make any decisions about your own family

No, but I'm only 18.

I can't inherit until I'm 21.

That must be frustrating.

I wouldn't even have a shop to worry about if it wasn't for him.

I owe him everything.

And the prize for best celebrity goes to... Alan Yellow!

For the Queen!

What a nonsense!

Her Majesty the Queen is not a seductress.

That way is the man of the hour.

Well, here he is. Ferry for the bugle, Alan.

Not now.

The Queen is sabotage.

Look, she looks fine.

Her corgis are gone.

This is high treason. I turn my back for a moment and this happens.

What if Dottie's claims were right?

What claims? She saw a scarecrow fleeing the scene of the murder. What?

Norman, if you could just clear the scene for me.

Now. Right. Look, I'll ask around and I'll see what I can find out.

I found a handwriting match among our suspects.

I know who drew Martin's designs.

I'm afraid it was Sandra.

There has to be an explanation.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

Was this about a killer scarecrow? I don't believe any of that, Norm.

So they're happy you thought it was? It's just nonsense.

Were you and Martin working together to win the competition?

Of course not.

I didn't need his help.

But he needed yours.

I was the one behind Martin's displays. I designed them and I made them.

So why did you decide to enter the competition this year?

Well, did you know that I was once offered an apprenticeship in London to

row?

Well, I was all set to move away until Martin convinced me that I... I wouldn't

cut it.

But you're so talented.

Well,

I couldn't give up on my dream, you see, of owning my own dressmaking shop.

It might not be Savile Row, but it was something of my own.

And watching Martin win every year with my designs, I just wondered if I could

do it.

And Martin didn't like that?

He liked the idea of winning too much.

Can't we both enter? No.

This is the one thing I like.

And you're ruining it.

Oh, please don't be like that.

It's just the prize money.

Oh, yes, for this ridiculous shop of yours.

But what do you know about running a business?

And who are you going to turn to when it all fails, eh?

I always say, stick to what you know.

I just wanted to try.

And you didn't care about betraying me in the process.

Oh, please. Well, I've got friends at the council, people who owe me a favour.

I'll make sure they reject any application you submit.

Even if you win, you won't get your shop.

And that was the last time we spoke.

And now he's gone.

How could I possibly stay in the competition?

Don't you owe it to yourself to try?

Never give up on your dreams. That's what you always told me.

Not young and brave like you, Peggy.

Be careful.

Don't mind me.

They're about to announce best sporting legend.

I think I've a good chance against Muhammad Ali.

Not something you can say every day.

What are you up to?

Those shiny particles on Martin's shirt with traces of gold paint.

So I'm taking samples.

We've already done the Queen's crown, Rapunzel's hair and Audrey Hepburn's

earrings. I know his head's a bit wobbly, but everyone loves Bobby.

All finished.

Ah, just in time.

Ah, now you are talking.

Well, congratulations to you.

Best sporting legend.

I can't believe it.

Your mum would be so proud.

Martin said I didn't stand a chance.

Well, Martin wasn't always right.

Cheers.

I'm sorry about your brother.

Thank you.

I know what he meant to you as well.

I don't know how I'd manage the shop without him.

He was telling me about some of your ideas.

Home delivery service and a loyalty scheme. I thought they were very clever.

Just stick to what I know.

That's what Martin always said.

Do you know, your mum didn't let anything hold her back.

No? If you don't try...

Speaking of which...

There's something I need to do.

Would you excuse me, please, Charlie?

Excuse me, Hector.

I'd, er... I'd like to re -enter the competition.

You can't do that.

I will have to confer with the other judges.

Sandra, what category were you in? I was Audrey Hepburn for Best Celebrity.

Oh, has already been judged.

Well, all right, then I'll make a new scarecrow.

Which categories are still open?

Well, just local heroes tomorrow.

Local heroes it is.

This is an outrage.

Now, now, Alan, your help organising this festival is invaluable, but please

remember you are a competitor.

Not a judge.

What's going on?

Oh, nothing to worry about.

He's letting Sandra re -enter after she voluntarily withdrew.

How gallant. And how you're fiddling about with the rules, are you? As if the

festival itself isn't bad enough.

What do you mean, bad enough?

Why does everyone have to fight?

Somebody help me!

Well, Nurse, what's the matter?

They killed Scarecrow!

What? He was alive!

Trust me. Here we go.

They're everywhere!

This festival's reduced us to... People keep telling me this festival's meant to

be bringing you all together, but it seems to be doing the opposite.

Are they me?

You're not saying it is, Bessie. Help me have a knee!

Come on, Bess! Come on!

What are you doing?

What are you doing now?

What are you doing?

Wait!

Stop that!

Sister Reginald.

Never seen anything like it.

Sorry to have to threaten half of them with disqualification.

Well, that would rather put a dampener on festivities.

Oh, did you hear?

My Auntie Sandra's only gone and re -entered. Oh, bravo.

I have no idea if we'll choose the local here, eh?

Don't like anything goes on round here.

Well, in 1947, Sister Heatherner, previously of St. Vincent's, single

defended a mission against Venezuelan revolutionaries, though she is quite a

niche prospect.

Aha! You found a match.

Note the thickness of the undercoat and the top coat of glitter.

We've struck gold.

See, it's Derrick Crow, is it?

So why did you cut up Martin's shirt?

That's quite the act of passion.

I loved him.

You were Rapunzel and he was your knight in shiny armour.

I thought he was.

He ended it.

Just like that.

I was ready to start a new life with him, but he didn't care.

So you wanted to hurt him back?

Kill him.

I just wanted to send a message.

I snuck into his house last night and I saw his shirt.

But then I heard him arguing with someone.

Did you see who it was?

I didn't look.

I could only really hear Martin saying something about checks.

You can't... Back out now. You've cashed them.

Did you hear anything else?

Knock out the back door as quick as I could.

I know how guilty I must look, but I swear that's the truth.

Good morning.

Oh, no.

What's happened?

What does it look like?

Sorry. I'm just sorry.

Almost savage attack.

Must have been sometime last night.

First Alan, now Charlie.

Any one of us could be next.

Maybe we should pull out the competition.

Might as well.

Now that my chance at the prize money's gone.

Surely you can fix it before the grand prize ceremony.

Maybe.

Have you seen this?

Killer scarecrows blocking the streets.

Ah, Norman.

Wally by name, Wally by name. We need to call the panic.

The festival won't stand a chance at the vote later.

Surely people will know that this is all nonsense.

Hmm, this looks familiar.

From the local bank?

Yes, from Martin's fireplace.

Must have been a financial document.

Statement, perhaps.

I'm afraid the rest of the suit burnt to salvage.

Martin's account could shed some light on this.

Allow me. I've been looking for an excuse to see the death clerk again.

It's not one day the banks are closed.

Not a problem.

I've got her number.

I know what I saw.

And I'm not the only one. They walk among us.

This festival has turned the village into a madhouse.

Didn't need much help there.

Well, if you'll excuse me.

I need to make my way to the station. He's over there! He's over there! Huh?

Over there!

Over there, look!

What's over there? That's Karen Crow!

So I see.

Oh, God!

Well,

we'll make sure we keep an eye out.

I don't want to know, do I?

I thought you'd be happy to finally get a break in the case.

Okay, so what did Martin's statement say?

Several large outgoing payments to Alan Yarrow.

What's exactly all these payments for?

You didn't tell anyone, did you?

Stop worrying about your reputation and answer the question.

To buy my silence.

Go on.

Martin was embezzling from the farmer's youth charity.

No wonder he was such a fan of the festival.

I confronted him, but he...

He offered me money instead.

Why didn't you come to us?

I've got debts.

I couldn't pay no to that kind of money. I knew it was wrong, but by then it was

too late.

He had quite a hold over you.

Perhaps one you wanted to be free of.

You think I killed him?

Why would I kill Martin when he was paying me?

You're not going to tell the judges, are you?

No.

But we will need to investigate you for possible corruption.

But I'm a pillar of the community.

Really? Then start acting like one.

Wait!

Told you!

Don't do that.

Be careful.

It could be anyone.

I can't believe this. I know.

This symbol was right.

The fibres match those found on Martin's neckerchief.

This glove belongs to our killer.

What? Why is our killer attacking scarecrows?

A vendetta against the festival?

Speaking of which, we'd better fill the chief in.

Oh, while you're there, could you fetch me something? Well, someone.

Impressive work to get a scarecrow made so quickly.

Has she made a new one?

Sorry. It is your pet.

Well,

why don't you have a look yourself?

I think she's got your smile quite perfectly.

I can't believe you chose me.

First WPC in the county.

I mean, how could I have chosen anyone else?

Is that a smile I see, Vera?

Don't be ridiculous.

More petroleum jelly.

Sorry, but why do you need this?

Well, Her Majesty's here for her own protection.

And she's evidence.

Well, she's evidence that makes me want to... Bless

you, Felix.

And thank you.

Get down.

Huh?

category of the festival. Local heroes.

Now, this was a unanimous decision by myself and the other judges. So,

please, the winner is... Sandra Hubbard!

Oh, well done, Sandra. Lovely scarecrow. Beautifully done.

Now, Sandra will now join the...

finalists for the grand prize ceremony, which I will be judging shortly.

But in the meantime, please remember that the ballot boxes are now open for

votes. So please, vote wisely!

Charlie, stop!

Well done, Auntie Sandra.

Stay back!

Put the lighter down, Charlie. Look, we know you killed Martin.

No! disguising yourself as a scarecrow with an ingenious idea.

But it must have been torture on your sinuses.

You can't prove that was me. You used the age -old trick of smearing petroleum

jelly under your nose to catch pollen.

And I'm quite sure that we'd find traces on you now.

Martin was stealing from the festival.

And business wasn't good at the shop either, was it?

Was he stealing from you too?

We found bank documents in his house that he tried to destroy.

Martin never let me look at any of those.

He said I wouldn't understand what it all meant, but when we received a final

notice on the rent, I had to see what was wrong.

Instead, I realised the truth.

What do you think you're doing?

You've been stealing.

From the festival, from the shop, all this time. Very stupid.

You let me believe it was my fault.

That it was you.

You ungrateful brat.

How long have I looked after you?

Did you do this to Mum, too?

That's why she was almost bankrupt.

She blamed herself and then she... When everyone finds out...

And who would believe you?

Come in.

He made her think it was all her fault.

And she killed herself out of the shame.

I don't have a mum because of him.

So it was revenge.

I wanted justice for a mum.

But it wasn't enough.

You wanted to bring the festival down with you. The whole thing's a sham.

Martin said it was for such a good cause, but the only person he was

himself. But you're not like that, Charlie.

You care about what's right and wrong. Don't you come any closer. Look, you

that you wanted justice, but this is not the way.

Please, put the lighter down. What would your mum think?

She's gone because of Martin.

Don't you think Martin's caused enough pain and destruction?

Don't be like him. You care about the people around you.

And they care about you.

It doesn't matter.

Of course it does.

Think about what this would do to Sandra and this whole community.

Don't do it.

It's too late.

Never too late to try.

You can make things better.

I just... I just wanted to make things right.

We know.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for your patience.

whilst we resolved an urgent police matter.

You'll have heard that Charlie Sanderson has been arrested for reasons that put

our festival to shame.

That's putting it nicely.

Thank you, Vera.

Please do cast your vote for the future of our festival, because I believe, I

believe that we can turn this around.

Should you not hang up your scarecrows for good, I promise to restore this

festival to its former glory.

Well, with all that said, let's crack on with the grand prize ceremony.

And how about a round of applause for our four wonderful contestants and

finalists.

We have Clementine Bell, Sister Reginald, Alan Yarrow,

Sandra... And don't you go forgetting, you chaps, that only one of you gets to

take the grand prize home.

Anyway, after much deliberation, it gives me

enormous pleasure to present this grand prize to...

Sandra Hubbard!

Thank you.

I thought you'd have clinched it.

Well, I only really entered to impress Martin, so... Well, you impressed me.

Your Rapunzel was magnificent.

Apart from the tatty sleeve.

Nonsense. I'll need some help in the dress shop when I finally open.

You mean me?

No, but Margaret in the village is really good with a sewing needle.

Of course I mean you.

I really thought we had it in the bag.

Well, there's always next year.

Time to think big.

How about last supper? All the disciples.

Yes, well, we'll have to start stockpiling straw then, sister.

Assuming that the festival is happening next year.

Ah, got to be in it to win it.

It's going to be close.

This beer tent has addled their brains.

Well, we've counted the votes and it seems to be a tie.

Oh.

I don't know what the protocol is.

Did you vote, Sarge?

No, I was preoccupied with the killer scarecrow.

Sir, we've got another one here.

You know what to do.

Just remember to do what's best for the community.

We have a decision.

The Great Slaughter Scarecrow Festival...

you're such a fan, you can be the official liaison again next year.

Can you forgive me, Mrs. Clumb?

Well, of course I blame you for being a bad influence.

Man of the hour.

Right. This deserves another round.

Oh, yes. Make mine a shandy. I'm in the mood to celebrate.

Oh, I'm so proud of you, Annie Sandra.

Oh, finally.

I can get back to some real journalism and end up with all these silly

scarecrows.

Not that I was scared.

Oh,

get up.

Thank you.