Original subtitles

Pierrot! Here, take this. Don't tell your dad.

No, Mom. Really, l don't need it.

- Are you getting up or going to bed? - l'm leaving.

So this time it's for real, huh?

- Are you sure? - l wanted to leave you the moped.

- Dad could probably use it. - Fuck Dad.

- And Mom didn't say anything? - Mom?

You should go see her.

With Serge in the army and me in Paris...

Don't forget to write.

l'll have her visit for a few days when l find a job.

- Do you want anything to eat? - No, l'm all right.

There's coffee if you want some.

- You seem happy. - l haven't slept for two days.

l'll take the animals out, and then we'll go to the station.

Go ahead, ma'am. l'd rather take the other one.

This is fine. l'll get out here.

Rue du Faubourg Poissoniere, please.

Excuse me.

l found your shawl.

And l would've forgotten my lotion.

Ms. Evelyne Lebord? Hi. Do you recognize me?

Pierre Lacaze. Pierrot.

We met in Lourdes this summer. l was an orderly.

Yes, maybe.

You said that if l ever came to Paris, l could drop by and see you.

ls this a bad time?

Well, no. lt's just that we're in a bit of a hurry.

- Are you on holiday? - No, l plan to stay in Paris.

Oh, okay.

l'm really sorry, but l can't even offer you a drink.

l have to take my mother for a walk.

We're going out to get some sun. Here, Mom.

l really should buy a more practical chair.

- Could you open the door, please? - Of course.

Thank you.

What a saga!

l think l'll need your help again. Turn her. Yes, like that.

Excuse me, Mom.

We're stuck. That's all we needed. Shit.

There.

The concierge usually helps me. She's paralyzed. A real martyr.

- Completely? - No, no. Just her legs.

Mom! She could've at least pushed the button herself.

Pardon me, but l wanted to ask you something.

l thought maybe... You never know... With you being a nurse and all,

do you think there might be work for me at your hospital?

Work. Well, you don't find work like that. lt takes time, a degree...

l got this certificate in Lourdes after my internship.

Oh, God. Could you help her out, please?

You little rascals!

lt's those brats on the second floor.

They think it's fun to harass a poor cripple.

You would think they had nothing better to do.

Bless you.

Pardon me. l love birds.

l would invite you over for a cup of tea, but you must find us very boring.

You just want to have fun at your age. l can understand that.

No, it's not that. But l should get going. l have to find a hotel.

Why, yes. Of course.

- Goodbye, then. - Goodbye.

No, don't touch her! She hates it.

Pierre, will you let me know how you're doing?

Don't worry about me. l'll get by.

- How? - l don't know. l'll place an ad.

An ad? l don't think that will work.

l hate to be discouraging, but they're not hiring at the hospital.

- Not even for a server? - Server. That's a little...

A server, or something else. l can do whatever. l'm not scared.

- What time is it? - 9:24.

- Shall l wake you at 5:00? - Yes. Don't you ever sleep?

l'm studying. There's no time to waste.

- Why is it called a turtle? - Because it's so slow, as you can see.

- Are you having fun? - l'd never seen a turtle before.

- l'm showing the new guy how it works. - l see.

- Are you an electronics expert now? - Don't piss me off, Mireille.

She doesn't joke around much, does she?

l don't let her. l put her in her place. She likes it, too.

- Here's a napkin for the crumbs. - Thank you.

Here. l've never seen you with a book before. Can l see?

''An Actor's Guide. How to Become an Actor and Succeed in the Arts.''

l bought it at the supermarket where l get my sandwiches.

l see.

l hate winter in this country. Aren't you cold in that jacket?

l'm used to the cold. l'm from the Pyrenees.

- Why didn't you stay there? - Because it sucks. There was no future,

- especially if you want to be an actor. - An actor, huh?

Every guy with a nice face wants to be an actor. lt's a disease.

- l know some. They're all unemployed. - Really? You know some?

- l'd like to talk to them. - Talk? Yeah, they talk.

But they don't do shit. You never see them around.

Hey, Pierre!

- Nice moped! - Yes. lt was a Christmas gift.

- What are you doing tonight? - Nothing.

Hop on. You can't be alone on Christmas eve.

- lt's okay. Don't worry about it. - Come on, let's go.

The privilege of music is being able to make it.

All real musicians know that.

To use sounds to express the silence of the world.

Fascinating, isn't it?

l'm not so sure that everyone finds it so fascinating.

We shouldn't hold it against him, but all the man cares about is music.

l sympathize, Said.

Romain doesn't like me getting along with Said. lt makes him sick.

He could never hold onto anyone, and yet he lectures others.

People don't change.

- Have you known each other a long time? - Pierre, since before you were born.

We've been divorced five times.

Dimitri, don't bore the kid with your homo stories.

lt's my life, and l'm not ashamed of it. Do you think l'm being a homo?

l don't know. l'm not familiar with all that.

l saw La Cage aux Folles in Lourdes.

- Children always tell the truth. - l may be crazy,

but it's a question of honor. And if there's only one left, it'll be me.

l'm very traditional in that regard.

l like to cross dress and take to it in the ass.

There you have it, Pierre. Now you know who you are dealing with.

Would you like some more?

All right, so you did your schtick. Are you happy now?

What are you reproaching me for? For being honest?

Fuck your honesty. All you talk about is yourself.

You're not curious about others.

You have a guest and you haven't even noticed that he's lost.

Leave Pierre alone. He's uncomfortable because you're flirting with him. Right?

Flirting. l hate that word.

You're both so obnoxious. Every time they see each other, they fight.

And they see each other all the time. l won't even start...

Pardon me, but you saw for yourself that he was the one attacking me.

- An angel just passed over us. - Yes, it was good timing.

- lt was you, the Christmas angel. - Me? An angel? That's all we need.

True angels never know they're angels.

What you said about music and silence makes me think of Pierre.

Only music can express silence,

and people too, but you don't want to see it.

l don't want to see it because it doesn't exist.

People are the opposite of silence,

even when they're not saying anything.

- lt's really late. You want to go back? - Shit, l fell asleep.

That was rude of me. Where are they?

- Romaine will take you home. - No, no.

l don't want... l don't want that.

Don't be an idiot. He's not going to jump you.

l told him you wanted to be an actor.

He works in television. He knows people.

No, don't play that game.

What game? l thought l was doing you a favor.

Tonight was dreadful. Comfort is truly awful.

Said fell for it.

Dimitri really should find him a less lousy job.

Why? l have the same job.

Something less trying, l should say. lt's a good thing you were there.

l was there by accident. l have nothing to do with all that.

lt doesn't interest me.

Oh, yeah? What does interest you then?

What l want to become.

That's all l thought about at your age too.

And it was the only thing l was afraid of.

lt's Christmas. Don't you miss your family?

No, l don't give a fuck about my family. l never think about them.

You're right. lndifference to the past is the strength of youth.

Then you get older and you become reattached to everything from the past.

To people, to things. lt's awful. lt's sad.

What's gotten into you?

l'll walk back. What you do with guys has nothing to do with me.

l don't know what you want, what your little game is all about.

lt pisses me off.

All right, l'll try to make myself clear.

- l just want to get to know you. - Get to know me?

l don't want to know you.

l'm not asking you for anything.

l'll give you my address anyway. You never know, you may change your mind.

There was a guy on the subway this morning.

He was old and was spitting and coughing.

Everybody was looking the other way, so he pick-pocketed the guy next to him.

lt all happened so fast. The guy was really precise.

l didn't know what to do. What would you have done?

l would've made him give the money back.

l thought about it,

but the more l looked at him and the other guy,

the less l knew who was the bad guy and who was the good guy. Know what l mean?

- So what did you do in the end? - l looked away, too.

- Good evening. - Good evening, l have a reservation.

Yes, of course, Ms. Lebord. Follow me, please.

Thank you, l know the way.

- Could you help me? - Of course.

Just take the fork, it's really simple.

- ls it hard working in the kitchen? - No, it's fine.

lt was nice of you to take me out. l'm a little embarrassed.

The main thing is that it doesn't diminish your appetite.

You smoke a lot for someone of your age.

l've been smoking since l was 14. Two packs a day.

And your parents never said anything?

They always let me do what l want, you know.

They let you come to Paris by yourself?

l didn't ask for their permission. l'm an adult.

You're brave.

l am a Gascon, after all, like d'Artagnan.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Thank you.

That's fine.

Thank you, thank you.

- Do you always wear hats? - Yes, it's my passion.

We all need one in our lives, right? Do you have one?

A passion? l don't know. l don't think so.

You're right. A passion is kind of like a sickness.

- l'm sick about hats. - l'm not sick about anything.

We're all sick, Pierre. That's life. Only the dead don't suffer.

That's not true. l'm not dead, and l'm not suffering.

On the contrary, l'm really enjoying this. lt's delicious.

Don't mind me. l'm a little sinister.

Let's toast, Pierre. To your health.

Alcohol is terrible.

Especially since l'm not used to it.

Do l look completely destroyed?

No, you can't tell with the make-up.

- l'll have one glass at your place. - Pardon me,

but l'm not that kind of woman. And haven't we had enough to drink?

Okay, then. Goodbye.

No, no. Come this way.

Where are you taking me?

lt's not Byzance or anything, but at least you won't have to pay for a hotel.

lf it'll help you out. l don't mind, l never set foot in here.

There are cupboards, too. lf you decide to take advantage of them.

- You're the one looking at... - l can't accept.

Oh, that's hot! At least it's heated.

Please Pierre, don't be that way. Does it suit you or not?

- lt suits me if l pay you every month. - Honestly, Pierre, you're offending me.

Why are you doing all this for me?

Excuse me, but that doesn't concern you.

Tell me honestly, how old do you think l am?

l don't know. Forty-five, like my mom.

l'll get going. l suppose you have to get up early.

No, tomorrow l get up at 7:00. l don't know how to thank you.

Let's kiss goodbye.

No, l don't want that. Stop, Pierre!

My God, l feel awful. l shouldn't have had so much to drink.

- Oh, l feel terrible. - Sit down.

lt's nothing. Sit down, relax. lt'll pass.

No, l'm spinning.

You can go back to the hotel. Move in tomorrow if you like.

The light is hurting my eyes. Turn it off.

l can't leave you like this.

- l can sleep right here. - You mean, sleep here?

As friends, then? Promise me, because if my mom sees me like this, it's all over.

What are you doing, Pierre? Don't take advantage.

Don't talk, it'll wear you out.

''l'm very happy because l'm starting a new life.

''l'm taking drama classes and am studying great authors.

''The job at the hospital takes up a lot of my time,

''and l'm wondering if l'll have to quit

''to pursue my acting career.

''l hope

''that you are in good

''shape.'' No.

''...in good health.''

Pierre! Come quick!

ls she dead?

Please don't speak that way. She's my mother.

She fell, and l'm sure she did it on purpose. Help me, l'll give her a shot.

lt's better if you pick her up under the arms.

She can't stand the fact that you're sleeping here. lt's driving her crazy.

Mothers make you pay for having brought you into the world.

My grandmother was that way, too, so we closed her up in the attic.

We never saw her, we just heard her shouting.

lt's different out in the country.

- Do you still need my help? - No, l'm fine. Thanks.

You have to understand. l'm sick of feeling guilty,

l'm not a little girl anymore.

Do you hear me?

Do you hear me?

l'm so lucky to have you. l feel good when l'm with you.

- Where's that? - Jakarta, with my father.

He was a military attache.

- Did you live there a long time? - Thirty years.

l was a spoiled child for 30 years. An egotistical princess.

l didn't see anything around me. l think l hated the entire world.

We came to France after my father died.

Paris was like the North Pole for me. l shivered from the cold.

l was calcium-deficient.

l'm late, l've gotten two warnings already.

- You're always in a hurry. - l don't start at 9:00 like you.

You ask questions and then you don't listen. Oh, well, it's not a big deal.

No, not through the dining room. lt's better if she doesn't see you.

Pierre!

- What time do you think you'll be home? - l have a class tonight, it ends late.

Don't wait up. l'll sleep up there.

All right, as you wish.

Mom?

''l hope you're in good health and that it was a good winter.

''l also hope that Father doesn't make you get up at dawn

''to help the clerk carry the meat.

''And above all, l hope the pipes didn't freeze like last year.

''From your son, who is thinking of you and sends you a big hug. Pierrot.''

What does it mean to be an actor?

lt means turning your body into an artistic tool.

Mr. Lacaze, could you please tell us why you're always late?

- Because of the hospital where l work. - Everybody works.

Come to the stage so we can see you. You've been hiding for a month.

What're you waiting for?

lf you don't want to come up here, then acting's not for you.

No, remain standing. Leave your hands free.

Have you finally prepared a scene?

No, l'd prefer to wait a little longer.

What would you like to perform?

l don't know. Something easy to start with.

lf you go for easy, you're not out of the woods yet.

You can do Hamlet's monologue. Does that mean anything to you?

- ''To be, or not to be?'' - Yes, of course. For next Thursday.

No, l'll give you two weeks. You'll need it.

Okay, let's resume. Pascal and Florence, let's go.

The last performance was lousy because you were afraid of the unknown.

Can you write down for me what she said, what l have to learn?

''Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

''The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

''Or to take arms against a sea of troubles

''and by opposing end them?

''To die: to sleep; No more; and, by a sleep

''to say we end the heart-ache and the...''

Mireille's looking all over for you. Watch out.

Pierre! Pierre, wake up!

l can't do this anymore. l didn't sleep a wink last night.

l can't understand this stupid book.

- What book? - My text.

l'm not interrupting, am l?

He's sick. He should go home.

We didn't call you. Get back to the kitchen.

All right, all right. We're not in prison here.

- ls it true that you're sick? - Yes, l don't know what it is.

And where do you feel sick?

My head. And my teeth, too.

l think it's this one.

All right, l'll take you to the stomatologist.

How strange. lt doesn't hurt anymore.

- Honestly, it went away. - lt'll come back.

When it comes to your health, you have to be really careful.

- What will they do to me? - They'll examine you.

And if they don't find anything?

Well, Pierre, that would be bad, very bad for you.

Because if you're not working, and on top of that, you're making things up,

you don't have much of a career with us.

Let's not be pessimistic. You look very tired.

l'm sure they'll find something serious. Have faith.

- What are you going to do? - l don't know. l'll manage.

Anyway, it's a good thing. l was sick of the hospital.

You idiot, you should've kept up the lie. They couldn't fire you.

l hope they give me unemployment,

because with my theater class, l'm broke.

That might not work. You shouldn't have told them you didn't give a shit.

- Drop it. - You know her?

No. l know her pimp, and that's sufficient.

Hi. l have a client for you and your buddy.

No, thanks.

l have a deal for you. All you have to do is fuck in front of the guy.

He won't touch, he'll watch. 800 francs for you, 200 for me. What do you say?

Leave me alone, l'm not a whore.

What's up, have you lost your touch? Faggot.

Stop him, you idiot!

- Said, stop! Fucking stop! - Stop!

You, get lost! Go!

- l didn't know you were violent. - l could've killed him.

l have to watch out.

- Who is that guy? - l met him when l got to Paris.

He's part rat, part pimp. He introduced me to some guys.

That's how l met Dimitri.

- l could never sleep with guys. - Whatever it takes to earn some cash...

What did you do with them? Did you touch them?

No, it wasn't like that. l'm not queer. They touched me, just my cock.

l closed my eyes and thought about something else.

l don't like talking about it anymore. l'm going to marry, have kids.

You see?

He's always asking about you. He calls you ''the wild child.''

''The wild child''? ''The Christmas angel''? What next?

He's a nice guy. He could help you.

l don't want to prostitute myself. There's nothing worse for a man.

''Nothing worse''? l did it. When you have nothing else to sell...

lt's easy to be all high and mighty. That's what l find despicable.

- You didn't come. - lt's okay.

l've never felt such pleasure before.

- Have you been with many men? - l don't like men.

Their presence, their smell, the hair... Especially the hair. lt's gross.

But with you, it's different. lt's an obsession.

Once, when l was 10 years old, l saw a man on the beach in his swimming trunks.

Huge spiders were sleeping on his chest.

l started screaming, and l was told that they were hairs.

- Do you mind that l told you that? - No.

Hey, do you know what this means?

''The thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to.''

l was wrong to insist. l shouldn't have come up here.

l'll leave you to your book.

Can l open the curtains?

l know you're eager to see me leave, but even so...

No, take your time. Why don't you want me to see you naked?

We know each other now. There.

What's wrong?

- Are you crying? - No, it's nothing.

l knew l shouldn't... l knew it from the start. l knew it.

- What's gotten into you? - You don't love me.

Sometimes l get the impression that you're so distant from me.

- lt would be awful if that were true. - No, that's not true.

''When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

''Must give us...'' ''Must give us pause. There's the...'' ''There's the respect...''

''There's the...'' ''There's the respect That makes...''

Until you find

a new job. Evelyne

Everyone out of the waiting room.

Quickly, please!

Go on, it's that way.

''The pangs of dispriz'd love, the law's delay,

''The insolence of office,

''and the spurns That patient merit of the unworthy takes,

''When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin?

''Who would fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life,

''But that the dread of something after death,

''The undiscover'd country from whose bourn,

''No traveler returns, puzzles he will,

''And makes us rather bear those ills we have

''Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus...''

- What's going on, Lacaze? - l don't know any more.

l don't know any more of the text. l knew it last night, though.

What's going on? ls it really that funny?

Does anyone know the rest?

''Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,

''And thus the native hue of resolution

''ls sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought.''

All right.

And you, Lacaze, how would you define Hamlet?

- l don't know. - And you Lemala?

l think he's a great phony. Melancholy made him that way.

He's a great melancholic, like Kierkegaard, Dostoyevsky...

All right, okay.

What do you think of that, Lacaze?

l don't understand any of it.

l feel sick to my stomach.

Sir! The fee, please.

l'm a fucking idiot. Why am l an idiot?

Good evening.

- How much? - Fuck off. l'm not here for that.

- Why are you here then? - l said fuck off. l won't say it again.

Hi. What's your name?

My name is Romain, and l charge 1,000.

1,000 francs? You're pushing it. You know the going rate here is 300.

- What do you do for 1,000 francs? - Nothing. l don't touch.

- l jerk off, that's it. - 1,000 francs to masturbate?

- You don't work too hard, do you? - Take it or leave it.

Romain!

-Look at that, it's the Christmas angel. -l'm broke and l don't know where to go.

Everyone has problems, and no one gives a damn about the problems of others.

lf you're looking for pity, it's not going to work.

l'm not looking for anything. l'm fed up.

l don't get it. l thought you didn't like guys.

l don't give a fuck about guys. l want money, and now.

lt's either that or something else.

l can't do it. l'm good for nothing.

With women, it's complicated. At least it's clear with men.

How's that? No pleasure, no feeling. Just money.

That's right. Just money. Give and take. That way l won't owe anything to anyone.

l get the feeling you'll have to change your mind.

l'm doing a show in Seville.

l'll take you with me if you like. l'm leaving soon.

l won't sleep with you. Not in Seville, not in Honolulu, not in the North Pole.

Don't worry. l don't need you for that.

FRENCH ECONOMY

Are you sleeping?

No.

Can l have the book? l can't sleep.

Here.

lt's about the Europe of tomorrow. The economic war.

lt's a little dry.

Why don't you undress?

You look ridiculous.

Like a frightened virgin.

You need to understand once and for all.

l'm not courting you.

l'm not in love with you.

l hate love.

Most people think love can save all. lt's a stupid superstition.

Love serves one purpose only, and that's to destroy.

Here, look. Proof of love.

You wanted to kill yourself?

No, someone wanted to kill me.

For love, of course.

Dimitri did this to me when we were very young.

The scandal of the neighborhood.

l don't give a damn about love.

You're right, it's boring.

What would you do

if you had money?

l wouldn't work a lousy job, as you once called it.

l would be respected. Everyone else could just fuck off.

Don't drink that water!

lt's hot as hell.

lt's like being in Africa.

Here, help yourself to whatever you like.

- Oh, yeah? - lf you're thirsty.

Oh, they're here already.

- How's that? - They flew.

l hate flying.

The ordeal begins.

- How was your trip? - Not bad.

Let me introduce you to my friend Pierrot.

Here's my book. lt's very useful, you'll see.

Excuse me, l'll be going now.

Duty calls.

- How's it going? - Very well. Everyone's ready,

and we're waiting for you, as usual.

Pierre!

Pierre, the keys.

Hey,

l'm sorry, but l have to stay with the group. l'm trapped.

Here, take this. You'll need it.

We'll meet at 3:00 for lunch, all right?

Try not to get bored.

Limitations.

Everybody likes to speak in their own name,

to say pure and simple things,

to speak from intensity,

from experience, experimentation.

But to say something in one's own name is very strange.

Romain is very sorry, but he had to attend an official lunch.

- What's your name? - Margarita.

- You're not French? - l am French.

My name is Marguerite, like the flowers. And l just adapted to here.

Romain told me you were a bit wild.

That doesn't scare me. On the contrary, communication is my specialty.

l did group therapy before getting into the media.

Show me your hand.

Show me your hand. Are you shy?

You're a Taurus, aren't you? You're a fighter,

- and yet, you're sentimental. - Unlikely.

l'm not sentimental at all.

l'd like a ticket for the next plane to Paris.

This is all the money l have.

ls it enough?

How are you, Pierre?

- l'm happy to see you. - l'm doing all right.

Come in.

So you were in the neighborhood?

- Do you want some coffee? - Yes, l do.

- You want some sugar? - No, thanks.

- Do you have a room? - Yes, the same one.

lt's on the ground floor, no one wants it.

l'll clean up a little around here.

Why are you always inside?

lt's nothing. l have the flu.

Your son never goes to school?

He can't stand his peers.

lt's a question of level.

He prefers to take correspondence classes.

You smoke too much.

Would you like some herbal tea?

No. What's he going to do later in life?

President of the Republic. He has ideas about democracy.

You don't have 100 francs?

You don't have 100 francs?

You don't have 100 francs?

Fuck, that doesn't work.

Do you have 100 francs, please?

l need 100 francs for...

- What are you doing here? - l've been looking for you everywhere.

l'm in Paris for the day. We're doing drills in Versailles.

l thought l'd come and say hello.

Yes, of course.

Wait for me in the courtyard, l'll be right there.

Okay.

Pardon me, but l can't let you into that room because l don't know you.

- Are you sick? - No, l was resting. Why?

The lady told me that you haven't been feeling well for a week.

How'd you know l was here?

l had your old address.

l thought, ''Well, you never know.''

Since you don't live with Ms. Lebord anymore...

- Did you see Evelyne? - Yes.

l introduced myself. l told her l was your brother.

She was very nice. She offered me whisky.

What did she say?

She said that her mother died,

that you made her happy

and that it fulfilled her life.

ls she a little crazy?

All women are crazy.

You're the one who makes them crazy, Pierrot.

You'll see when you start wreaking havoc like me.

Will you show me around town?

Hi. Two tickets, please.

Shit, l forgot my cash.

Do you like the army?

Yes, l do.

l'd like to stay in the army,

but l have to work at the store. Father asked me to.

You're not afraid of becoming like him?

Why? He's not unhappy.

That's because he's so narrow-minded.

You always exaggerate.

l hope you age better than he did.

You know me,

l'm not like you.

l'm not ambitious. l just want a comfortable life, that's it.

You should just off yourself, then. lt's the best way.

- Are you an idiot or something? - l'm joking.

You seem strange.

l'm cold, aren't you?

You coming?

l'm worried about being late. The train leaves at 6:00.

l don't want to miss it. They don't mess around at the barracks.

- Are there always this many people? - No, it's quiet at night.

- What do you do at night? - l go out, l see people.

You have to know people to be an actor.

l don't want to act anymore. Depending on other people sucks.

You never liked being bossed around.

Shit, you're gonna have a rough time in the service.

Do you always walk around in your uniform?

Of course. lt looks cool, and the girls like it.

l saw Mom for Christmas.

She was worried.

You should write her more often.

What's wrong?

lt's nothing.

l just have to eat something, that's all.

Can you lend me some money?

Yes, of course.

Damn. lt's not like the ham back home.

Did you see Guy for Christmas?

The jerk didn't want to celebrate with us.

He'd rather be alone at his farm with his sheep.

l wonder if he's screwing them.

lt's been 10 years since Dad told him to get married.

Dad should keep his mouth shut, because marriage...

When l used to hear him hitting Mom, l wanted to kill him.

l'll come and visit for a few days when l have some cash.

Speaking of which,

l don't understand what you do for work.

Don't worry, l'll have money very soon.

A lot of money.

Shit, my train!

''Dear Mom,

''l'm sorry l didn't write you sooner to tell you how l'm doing,

''but l was in Spain.

''lt was beautiful, and the hotel was very nice.

''l saw Serge two months ago,

''and he said you were worried.

''l want to assure you that l'm doing well

''and that l'm very happy.

''l hope that the heat isn't making your rheumatism worse.

''l also hope that you don't lose customers to the new supermarket.

''lt was suppose to open this summer,

''but l don't know how far along the construction is.

''l didn't have time to show Serge around the capital

''but l'll be better organized when you come.

''We'll go see the Chateau de Versailles

''because l've noticed that you always choose it on the post office calendar.

l forgot to tell Serge that l left the moped at Guy's place. lf he wants it,

''all he has to do is go to Papayette and get it.

''l also forgot to wish you a happy Mother's Day last Sunday.

''But in Paris you're not aware of these things.

''Your son, who is thinking of you and sends you a big hug. Pierrot.''

28 years old, looking for a slut.

Handsome guy, 20 years old, for hire.

Handsome guy, 20 years old, for hire.

The guy for hire, is that for right now?

Yes, l'm free

- Can you come here? - Yes, l'll go there.

Okay. Give me your number.

No, l don't give out my number.

Can you give me your number?

- Hi, Robin. - How are you?

- Great, and you? - Me too.

l'm out of condoms.

Here.

- 80 francs. - 80 francs? They went up again.

lt's a rip-off.

Hi. Do you come often?

Every afternoon. And you?

lt's my first time.

- This place is deserted. - lt gets busy around 4:00, 5:00.

- Shall we get a booth? - Sure.

Let me warn you, l don't kiss, l don't suck off and l don't get fucked.

But l do everything else. l charge 1,000 francs.

Aren't you cheeky!

l can go down to 800 if you like, but no less.

Why? Aren't you attracted to me?

Good-looking or not, young or old, it makes no difference to me.

Oh, well. You don't know what you're missing out on.

l'm missing out on 800 francs.

Come in!

Pierre, my TV's broken. Do you mind if l watch here?

Not at all, go ahead.

Excuse me.

You're all settled in now.

Yes, l'm getting there.

You go to war against those who think,

''l'm this'' or ''l'm that.''

You even go so far as to claim

that no queer can say with certainty,

''l'm queer.''

ln effect,

we have to think in uncertain,

improbably terms, ''l don't know what l am.''

So much research is required,

so many tests. Provided, of course, that he's not a narcissist.

The problem for man is not whether he's this or that, not at all.

Can l change the channel?

- Romain Dumas, you know him? - A little.

The guy's got balls.

He's on television and he's not afraid to come here.

- Have you done him? - No.

lt's funny. He has the same name as you.

Why do you hide every time he comes here?

- Are you scared of him or something? - Fuck off. Mind your own ass.

My ass is very well, thank you.

Have you slept with him?

Once. He pays well.

With him it's always one time.

What happened to you, Eloina?

Some asshole socked me. l kicked his bells.

Not bells, Eloina. Balls.

You should go back to the Alliance Franciase.

And simmer down a little.

That's the sixth one she's sent to the hospital.

lf they're looking for me, they'll find me.

Do you have your glasses, Romain?

Yes, here.

- Thank you, dear. - You're welcome.

Why don't you want to marry me?

He doesn't like drag queens.

What do you like, honey? Tell me everything.

Romain doesn't like anything.

Except for clients like me.

ls it true you don't fuck for pleasure?

- No, l just don't have the time. - Oh, yeah?

l have a great way to make you hard.

Are you interested? 200 francs.

- ls there any risk? - lt works every time.

How do you get a hold of it?

Rio's friends. Don't worry,

it's the real deal.

Come here. What are you trying to give him?

You don't even know the guy.

You were so nice to him...

Being nice to persons is a lot different than trusting them.

Are you crazy or what?

Wake up.

Go on, go sit down.

That Bambi is crazy.

Forget what she said to you.

You run a tight ship, don't you?

Yes, l have to. lt would be a mess otherwise.

Don't be sad, Bambi. Life is beautiful.

l'm sick and tired of it.

She's always giving me a hard time.

l'm not giving you a hard time, l'm protecting you.

Hey, what are you doing here?

Chatting?

Come on, it's a party!

The pigs!

What the hell are you doing? Hide!

Are you stupid or what?

Hey!

l suspected you were a whore.

Well, yes. Like you.

Do you want my picture?

This faggot's pissing me off.

Calm down.

My name's Pierre.

And yours?

My name is ''Drop it.''

Hey, give me your seat,

and l'll give you 100 francs.

- l'd like to speak with you. - Go ahead.

- l need to get out of here. - Calm down.

l need to get out of here. l have to piss!

You'll piss tomorrow.

But l can't wait!

l can't wait!

Tell them to open the door for me. l can't hold it any longer.

Let her out, you assholes!

Let her out!

Here, l bought this for you.

lt was all l could find.

l don't know much about those things.

Why did they keep you for so long?

They're always fucking with me.

They want to know who l work for.

l have to get changed.

l know some of the showers in the neighborhood.

l'm going with you.

Why did you want to come here?

Because no one will hassle us here.

lt's quiet.

Have you been here already with clients?

Yes,

but it was at night.

The guy l saw you with at the bowling alley...

He's my pimp.

Why are you talking about that?

Do you work for him?

l work for him, l live for him

and l care for him.

What do you want to know?

- You like him? - lt's not cool, is it?

l just want to know what you see in him.

l see everything in him. He's handsome. He's completely crazy.

He's not afraid of anything.

Taking it in the mouth beats condoms, don't you think?

Are you ever serious?

l like to laugh.

That's all you can do when times are tough.

- Why do you say that times are tough? - l say it just like that.

Why did you choose this profession?

And you?

For the money.

l almost became a singer.

l was in a group. There was a contest...

Where was this?

ln Nice.

- Have you been to Nice? - No.

l've never been to the seaside.

lt's awesome there.

We made it to the semi-finals

and were entitled to one recording.

There were some complications with the record company.

lt turns out they were only interested in the musicians.

They got signed for a single, and l was left out in the cold.

The song wasn't bad, though.

You want me to sing it for you?

When she remembers

When she looks back

On a little girl with baby teeth

Surrounded by her toys

On a warm mother and a big father

Deep down inside, she regrets

Having always gone around in circles

in the lamplight like a butterfly

Sophie from Nantes Dreary loves

Without desire

Men in a hurry in hotels at night

Hotels of troubles

This sleep is more naked than naked

Not surprised By yet another escape

Going around in another circle

in the lamplight like a butterfly

Even if one day in the future in the future

A boy gets into her head Flirting

ls that of any importance?

Does that make any sense?

When you've gone in too many circles

ln the lamplight like a butterfly

When you've gone in too many circles

ln the lamplight like a butterfly

There it is.

What do you want to do now?

Why,

do you want to sleep with me?

Do you want to or not?

Of course l do.

This is my first time seeing the forest in the daytime.

- And you? - Me, too.

Hi. ls room 22 free?

- For you, anything. - Thanks.

Let's go.

l don't understand.

l don't understand what's wrong with me.

lt's not a big deal.

Are you sure you like girls?

l don't want to hear that shit.

l'm a whore, like you.

Do you like your clients?

Well, it's the same for me.

lt's not worth getting pissed off about.

l should get going.

What time is it?

Excuse me.

Are you meeting your pimp?

Shit. He must be wondering what l'm up to.

Do you often fuck people who aren't your clients?

No, this is the first time.

Really?

lt's the first time?

Yes, why?

- Do you swear? - Yes.

Tell me again.

What are you doing?

- Hi. - Romain!

- She paid already. - Really?

- She didn't say anything to you? - No.

See you later.

Do you plan on staying here all night?

Listen, we have to talk.

- l can't, l'm working. - Why did you take off?

You don't get it.

You shouldn't stay here.

Haven't l seen you before?

Me? That would surprise me.

What's the problem?

- ls he a fake? - No, it's nothing.

l want to spend the night with her.

And l'll do whatever it takes.

She refuses,

so l insist.

How about 4,000. That's good, isn't it?

No, l won't do anything for this guy.

And why won't you do anything with this guy?

l don't know. l don't trust him.

l think he's a sicko.

Come on, let's go back.

Can l come up?

l'm sorry.

For Spain, l mean.

You're forgiven.

lt was a long time ago.

Here.

l'm returning this to you.

Come in.

l have a little vodka left. Want some?

Did you hear the news?

Your friend Said left Dimitri.

lt's crazy how much you've changed.

Oh, yeah?

Changed how?

For the better or for the worse?

For the better and for the worse.

You are much more handsome.

You don't have the same look.

So l'm not a Christmas angel anymore?

Yes.

Well, it's a mix.

You like mixes, don't you?

You're such a whore.

l am a whore.

That's my job now.

That's what l ended up doing.

ls it true?

Was that the only way you could earn a living?

Let's just say,

it was the only way

l could feel free.

Do you enjoy doing it?

Yes, of course.

l'm happy.

Can't you tell?

Happiness is not something you put on display.

That reminds me of something.

Come here.

lt's about self-sacrifice.

lt's in Nietzsche.

l'm not sure where l left it.

Here it is.

Listen.

''There is no noble pleasure

''that cannot be reduced to prostitution.''

Do you find that reassuring?

l don't need to be reassured.

''God is the greatest prostitute.'' But that's not your field.

''Love may arise from a generous sentiment, the taste for prostitution,

''but soon it becomes corrupted by the taste for ownership.''

Save your breath, l don't understand any of it.

lf you want to sleep with me, that's fine with me.

For a fee,

is that it?

l don't want to. You were never my type.

What do you want, then? You said you wanted to get to know me.

l don't know.

l get the feeling it's too late.

- l would've liked to have helped you. - Help me?

l see how it is.

You would've hired me as your assistant.

Like the one l saw in Spain. At your feet.

You're not capable of trust.

You're talking about trust.

- Why did you come see me? - l don't know.

l wanted to talk to someone.

Talk about what?

l met a girl.

She has a pimp.

l don't know what to do.

Listen.

Listen, Pierre.

You need to experience something else, something besides being on the game.

l can find you work.

l assure you. l'll take care of it.

But you have to stop hanging out with that scum.

You're talking to me about scum? l thought you liked it.

What are you doing?

l'm saying this for your own good!

For my own good? Stop you sound like my dad.

- Where are you going? - l'm leaving.

Wait. l thought you wanted to talk to me.

No, it turns out l have nothing to say to you.

Sorry for bothering you. Bye.

- Hi, Romain. - Hi, Bambi.

Hi, Eloina.

My lady's been worried about you.

l think she has a soft spot for you.

l didn't know you were into girls.

By the way, how's your bowling buddy doing?

What do you lovebirds have to say?

You're not very chatty, are you?

We shouldn't see each other anymore, Pierre.

l'll see you again if l want to. He won't stop me.

Stop, Pierre.

Hey, no need to get upset.

l want to get out now.

What's wrong? You're not having a good time?

You want me to put on some music?

Spend my life with you

Little girl l want to spend my life in your arms

Little girl l want to spend my life with you

One day, we'll get old

And we'll love each other even more

Our love will grow greater

And more beautiful And will be even stronger than death

Little girl l want to spend my life with you

Little girl l want to spend my life with you

Why aren't you singing?

...l want to spend my life with you

l told you to sing.

...l want to spend my life with you

Little girl l want...

Lift up your skirt.

...in the kitchens.

l got sick of it so l left.

l struggled for a while and then l figured something out.

We always figure something out, right?

- Why did you enlist? - To get it over with.

l had to serve at some point, right? Like everyone else.

So l took the bull by the horns

and decided to do it. After an accident.

- What kind of accident? - A girl.

l met a girl in Paris who lived with a man.

One day he decided to punish me. So one night he came by with two guys

and nabbed me. They beat me up and then they started to rape me in front of her.

l tried to find them.

l looked for them for two months. Honestly, l was ready to kill them.

l didn't have any leads and l didn't know how to do it,

so l never saw them again.

- You didn't press charges? - No.

l prefer to solve my own problems.

ln any case, if they turn up some day, it'll be an ugly 15 minutes.

And why did you decide to come here?

To learn how to jump. To jump into the world.

Especially in the night, when you can't see anything and it's completely black.

lt must do something, right?

You'll never be a part of society.

You don't have any balls. You're garbage.

You poor shit. You should have never been born.

l don't like people spying on me, Rase, Mottes. l don't like it.

- l'm not spying on you, l swear. - What're you doing here, then?

l'm also here because it's quiet.

The first time l saw you, l hid. l heard you talking to yourself.

l didn't say a word to anyone. l kept my mouth shut.

Oh, yeah? So you've already seen me?

And what did you hear, Rase-Mottes? Go ahead,

tell me, so l can have a laugh.

l don't know, l didn't really understand. You kept insulting yourself,

calling yourself every name in the book. lt's none of my business.

l come here every night. l do exercises.

You should try it. You always let everyone drag you in the mud.

lt's a better way of hardening yourself than the military bullshit.

l'll show you how it's done. You stand here like this

and say the worst things while looking at yourself. Say what hurts the most.

lnsults are not what hurts me the most.

They don't do anything to me anymore.

They mean nothing to me, l assure you.

l remember all those things they said to me at home,

''You'll be happy, dearest son.

Nothing will ever happen to you, we'll always be here.''

Thinking of that bullshit makes me feel so awful

that l have to come here to hide.

- They let you leave just like that? - Yes.

l just have to be back at 8:00 am for roll call.

lt wasn't like that in my day.

- When's your next leave? - May 1st, we get three days.

l don't want to insist, but you really should go see Mom.

lt would make her really happy.

- She isn't sick or anything, is she? - No,

but time is starting to drag on for her. lt's normal.

Yes, it's been at least a year and a half now.

Did you make the trip just to tell me that?

Speaking of a trip,

Mont-de-Marsan isn't far from Lourdes.

lt's not like Paris.

How was Paris, anyway?

lt was hell. The army pales in comparison.

What will you do after the service?

- l'll go back to Paris. - Really? l thought...

lt was my first time. l wasn't ready.

Next time it'll be a different story, trust me.

l talked to Mom a lot about Paris.

- l was sure you hated it. - No.

l don't hate it. Quite the opposite.