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1
00:00:04,172 --> 00:00:05,306
Oh, I knew it.
2
00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:07,841
There's no extra foam
in my latte.
3
00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:08,876
You ask for extra foam,
4
00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:11,045
you might as well
be asking for a
piggyback ride,
5
00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:12,946
you know what I mean?
6
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,949
Charlie?
Charlie?
7
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,619
Oh! Of course.
8
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:22,356
Man's got a heat-seeking missile
in his pants.
9
00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:23,691
Is it too much to ask
10
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,093
that when we go out
for a cup of coffee
11
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,794
you at least stay
within earshot
12
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:30,431
so I'm not talking
to myself like
a crazy person?
13
00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:33,067
And again,
I'm talking to myself
like a crazy person.
14
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,603
( hushed ):
Look!
15
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:39,173
Yes, I see.
16
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,009
Girl pretty.
Charlie like.
17
00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,545
No, girl magnificent.
18
00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:46,814
Charlie buy her Lexus.
19
00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,218
Okay, I thought
we were going
20
00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:51,419
to be hanging out
together,
21
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,020
but obviously,
your neurotic need
22
00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:54,455
for meaningless sex
is more important
23
00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:56,257
than spending time
with your only brother,
24
00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:58,459
who despite everything,
continues to love you,
25
00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:00,628
and is, by the way,
your best hope
26
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,231
for a viable kidney
transplant.
27
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,369
You can get yourself
home, right?
28
00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:12,306
What, what makes
you think
29
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:13,574
that she's
even available?
30
00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:15,276
Maybe she's married.
Maybe she's gay.
31
00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:16,510
Maybe she's a guy.
32
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:21,282
Hey, I don't see a ring,
a girlfriend or a bulge.
33
00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:22,516
Now if you'll excuse me,
34
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,586
it's time to do that voodoo
that I do do so well.
35
00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:29,323
Hi.
36
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,126
I'm Charlie.
37
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:34,128
Don't care.
38
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:35,229
And you are?
39
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,565
Not interested.
40
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:40,000
How do you know?
41
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:43,304
I know.
42
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:46,807
Okay, then.
43
00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:52,746
What, you think it's over?
44
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:53,781
'Cause it's not over.
45
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,216
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
46
00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:56,450
I guess I was misled
47
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:59,453
by her complete and utter
indifference to you.
48
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,089
Yeah, well, watch and learn.
49
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,591
So...
50
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,559
Go away.
51
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:10,298
How about now?
Is it over now?
52
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:13,534
It's not an exact science.
53
00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:18,472
Look, if you knew me at all
and shut me down,
54
00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:19,773
that would be
one thing,
55
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,075
but to be dismissed
on a simple hello,
56
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,444
that's a tough pill
to swallow.
57
00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:26,647
Would you rather
I give it to you
58
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,115
in a suppository?
59
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:29,683
Well, to be
perfectly honest...
60
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,585
Good-bye.
61
00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:35,723
Hey, hey,
did you hear that?
62
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:36,957
What?
63
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:42,129
It's a, it's a fat lady
and she's... singing.
64
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:43,731
You'd give up right now,
wouldn't you?
65
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:47,668
Charlie, Elvis
has left the building.
66
00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:50,504
Giving up
is a little moot
at this point.
67
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:53,106
Yeah, well, that attitude
is why you sleep alone
68
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:57,611
with a copy of Monster Boobs
magazine under your pillow.
69
00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:00,914
Stay out of my room.
70
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:04,385
* Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men... *
71
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:07,955
* Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men... *
72
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:11,492
Men, men, men, men, manly men *
73
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:13,327
* Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ohh, ooh-ooh
74
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:16,430
* Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men *
75
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:20,167
* Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men. *
76
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:23,304
* Men.
77
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:31,445
"Waverly Dance Studio,
3737 Waverly Street."
78
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:32,546
Got it.
79
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:36,817
"Westwood Academy of Dance,
14001 Pico Boulevard."
80
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,185
What's going on?
81
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:39,720
I'm mapping out
all the dance studios
82
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,622
in a five-mile radius
of the coffee shop.
83
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:42,590
Why?
84
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,492
I can't stop
thinking about
that girl I met.
85
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,426
I have to find her.
86
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:46,527
Hmm, it's a shame
87
00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:48,996
you can't let your penis
sniff a piece
88
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:49,863
of her clothing.
89
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:52,300
Look, I know her name: Mia.
90
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:53,867
It was written
on her coffee cup.
91
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,168
I know she's a dancer.
92
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,004
She was wearing
those leg-warmer thingies
93
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,238
and reading a dance magazine.
94
00:03:58,306 --> 00:03:59,907
Just 'cause you're
reading a dance magazine
95
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:00,974
doesn't make you a dancer.
96
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,411
Why not? You're a monster boob.
97
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:08,282
Will you both stay out
of my room?!
98
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,418
I'll tell you
something.
99
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:12,052
Why do you want
to go to all this trouble
100
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:15,188
to track down a girl
who showed less than
no interest in you?
101
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:19,159
A girl who seemed actually
repulsed by your very being.
102
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:23,230
A girl whose skin visibly
crawled at your mere proximity.
103
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:25,699
Yeah, but did you see her butt?
104
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,102
It was like a ripe
little peach.
105
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:33,206
That's your answer?
Her ass reminded you of fruit?
106
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,108
Berta, explain it to him.
107
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:36,577
Well, a lot
of the times
108
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,846
a peach will have
a subtle cleft in it
109
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:41,014
that is visually reminiscent
of a woman's...
110
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:44,352
Thanks, thanks.
I got it.
111
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,119
Alan, do you know
why Sir Edmund Hillary
112
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,488
wanted to scale
Mount Everest?
113
00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:51,425
Because it reminded him
of a big pointy melon?
114
00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:53,361
That's part of the reason.
115
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:56,597
But the main reason was
he wanted to do it
116
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:58,432
because everyone thought
it was impossible.
117
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,501
No, I'm missing
the connection here.
118
00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:02,803
If a girl like Mia
were easy to climb,
119
00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:05,373
her head would be covered
with flags.
120
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,007
So you're looking
for a challenge.
121
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,075
Exactly.
122
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,944
No one takes a picture of the
fish that jumps on your boat.
123
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:14,515
I'm confused.
Is she a mountain or a fish?
124
00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:17,518
Doesn't matter. Either way,
I'm going to scale her.
125
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,523
And you, why do you enable
this behavior?
126
00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:25,793
Why? I'll tell you why.
127
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:28,095
Because your brother
is the embodiment
128
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,431
of the can-do,
roll-up-your-sleep spirit
129
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:31,999
that made this country great.
130
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,468
He never gets discouraged;
he goes after what he wants;
131
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,770
and he doesn't know the meaning
of the word quit.
132
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,440
And if the day should come
when any man,
133
00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:41,108
no matter how humble,
can't go out there
134
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,677
and soil the loins
of some hot little dancer
135
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:46,980
well, I don't want
to live in that America.
136
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:53,387
* O, beautiful,
for spacious skies *
137
00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:57,357
* For amber waves of grain...
138
00:05:57,425 --> 00:06:00,360
Demi plie, grand plie.
139
00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:01,595
Okay, very good.
140
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:06,266
Now reverse,
demi plie, demi plie,
141
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:07,401
grand plie.
142
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:09,236
Oh, leave me alone.
143
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:10,504
Keep going.
144
00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:11,939
Hey, you're a teacher.
145
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,674
Hey, you're a stalker.
146
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:16,243
No, no, I was just passing
by and happened
147
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:17,310
to look in the window.
148
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,446
What's the map for?
149
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:19,947
Oh, this.
150
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,649
Well, I had to go
to eight other dance studios
151
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,083
before I found
the right window.
152
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,588
Okay, I suppose that could
be interpreted as stalking,
153
00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:29,523
but it could
just as easily be seen
154
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,559
as sincerity,
persistence, enthusiasm.
155
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,027
Mental illness.
156
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:34,895
Oh, come on.
157
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,430
I'm clearly smitten.
Throw me a bone.
158
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:37,698
Charlie...
You remembered my name.
159
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,332
That's got to mean something.
160
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,367
Yeah, I wrote it down
161
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:42,135
in case I needed
to call the cops.
162
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,705
Charlie, I don't have time
for dating right now.
163
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,640
I'm completely
focused on my work.
164
00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:48,241
Okay, let's talk about work.
165
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:50,410
I've always wanted
to learn to dance.
Can you teach me?
166
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:51,645
I only teach
children.
167
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:54,715
You don't have a class
full of large, slow kids
168
00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,884
I could be part of?
169
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:01,455
All right,
how about this?
170
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,557
My nephew loves
to dance.
171
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:07,360
A gifted little boy.
Moves like a gazelle.
172
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,629
How old is he?
173
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:10,731
I don't know.
11, 12.
174
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:12,365
It's hard to say.
He's got a big head.
175
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,268
Frankly, I'd love
to have a boy
in the class.
176
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:16,403
It's hard to get
males that age
177
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:17,805
excited about ballet.
178
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:22,843
Really? 'Cause Jake is just
"ballet" this and "ballet" that.
179
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:24,612
Yeah, I'm sure.
180
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:25,946
Tell you what.
181
00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:27,748
Why don't you bring
him by tomorrow?
182
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:30,751
Great. Maybe afterward,
you and I...
183
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:31,852
Charlie, listen carefully.
184
00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:34,688
You and I?
Never gonna happen.
185
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:37,457
Understood.
See you tomorrow.
186
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:41,829
Charlie to base camp.
187
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,030
( mimics radio static )
188
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,464
I'm beginning my ascent.
189
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,769
* Men.
190
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,470
How do you liking
the pizza
191
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:53,340
your old Uncle Charlie
bought especially for
his little buddy?
192
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:54,441
It's good.
193
00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:55,876
Well, save room.
I've got a half gallon
194
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,778
of that double fudge brownie
ice cream you like.
195
00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:00,013
I don't know.
I'm pretty stuffed.
196
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:00,781
You sure?
197
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:04,151
Maybe after I poop.
198
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,053
What are you doing?
199
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,320
We're eating dinner.
200
00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:08,856
You had dinner an hour ago.
201
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,691
Well, then he won't need
breakfast.
202
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,760
I'm on a roll.
203
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:16,797
You had enough
to eat.
204
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:19,567
Hey, Jake, you know what I like
to do after a nice big meal?
205
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:20,433
What?
206
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,735
Learn to dance.
207
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:26,940
Charlie?
Yeah?
208
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:27,875
Private word.
209
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,010
Sure.
210
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:34,081
What's up?
211
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,215
Shame on you.
212
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:36,850
Is that it?
213
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,886
You found that girl
and now you have
214
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:41,221
some kind of depraved plan
to use my son as bait.
215
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,356
Yeah, so?
It's not like
you pay his rent.
216
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,192
Why shouldn't he pitch in?
217
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,894
I will not allow it.
218
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,063
Oh, come on.
It's just a couple
of ballet lessons.
219
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,999
Ballet? Him?
220
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:55,636
I think he has
a quiet grace
about him.
221
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,271
He doesn't have
to be good at it.
222
00:08:58,338 --> 00:08:59,573
He just has to show up.
223
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:00,641
One lesson.
I'm begging you.
224
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:01,942
You know what?
225
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:04,077
It really doesn't matter
what I say.
226
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,979
You will never convince him
to take ballet.
227
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,281
But if I can,
will you stay out of it?
228
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,149
I guess.
229
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,785
Great. Hey, Jake...
230
00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:16,323
Okay, that might have been
bad parenting.
231
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,291
I've got a surprise
for you.
232
00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:20,060
Not more food, is it?
233
00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:21,962
I'm starting to feel
a little dizzy.
234
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,330
No, you're going
to get to do something
235
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,464
that I'll bet
no other boy
236
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:25,999
in your class
has ever done.
237
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:30,237
If it's sex, Mitchell Fineman
already saw his cousin naked.
238
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:33,106
No, this is better
than sex.
What?
239
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,643
How would he know?
240
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,444
You're going to learn
to dance ballet.
241
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,647
Want to bet?
242
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:44,084
Okay, let me put it
this way.
243
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,353
How much money will
I have to give you
244
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,520
to take ballet lessons?
245
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,190
How about ten dollars?
246
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,592
Wait. Hold on. Hold on.
247
00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,767
I want a thousand dollars.
248
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:04,404
That's really
not ethical.
249
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:08,041
Oh, yeah. I'm the one
on shaky moral ground.
250
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,578
Okay, I'll give you $500.
251
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:13,113
Split the difference.
252
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,982
$250.
Done.
253
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:19,252
* Men.
254
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,160
Come on. Let's go.
255
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,562
I changed my mind.
256
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,498
You took my money.
257
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,400
I'll give it back.
258
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,835
Jake, we're here.
259
00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,536
You may as well
give it a try.
260
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:37,838
Yeah. Give it a try.
261
00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:40,307
Who knows? You might like it.
262
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,683
I will never forgive you
for this.
263
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:53,320
* Men.
264
00:10:57,557 --> 00:11:00,660
You didn't tell me
I'd be the only boy here.
265
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,763
So? The odds are
on your side.
266
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:06,433
The odds for what? I'm 11.
267
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:07,801
I want to go home.
268
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,402
I thought
we had a deal.
269
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:12,372
Charlie, you can't make him stay
if he doesn't want to.
270
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,041
I love you, Dad.
271
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:17,711
All right,
let's get started.
272
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:20,313
Whoa. Who's that?
273
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:21,381
Your teacher.
274
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,649
Come on, let's go.
275
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:23,884
Hang on, Dad.
276
00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,986
Maybe I should
give this a chance.
277
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,055
Hi. I'm Jake.
278
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,690
Hi, Jake.
It's nice to meet you.
279
00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:32,592
Yeah.
280
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:35,528
You uncle tells me
you like ballet.
281
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:37,831
Yeah.
282
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,767
Okay. How about you line up
with the girls
283
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,234
and we'll get started.
284
00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:43,103
Yeah.
285
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:46,306
How about that?
He's got a crush.
286
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,776
It's like watching
a dog chase a car.
287
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,811
He'll never catch it,
288
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:54,081
and even if he did,
he couldn't drive it.
289
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:57,184
He's still doing
better than you.
290
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,855
Everyone, I'd like you
to meet our new student, Jake.
291
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:03,290
GIRLS:
Hi, Jake.
292
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:05,826
Yeah. Hi.
293
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,862
Okay, let's start
in first position.
294
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,063
Jake, do you know
first position?
295
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:13,901
Is that like
missionary position?
296
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:20,941
One... and two...
297
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:24,211
and three... and four.
298
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:30,851
I will never
forgive you for this.
299
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,619
He's having
a great time.
300
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:35,923
( under breath ):
The clueless
knucklehead.
301
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,058
Okay, very nice, class.
302
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,828
Yeah, good hustle, everybody.
303
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,295
You're much better, Jake.
304
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:45,098
That's 'cause I have
a good teacher.
305
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:46,399
Thank you.
306
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,101
All right, that's it
for this week.
307
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,670
And remember, life is a dance.
Live it gracefully.
308
00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:52,239
That's my motto.
309
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:58,879
Well, that settles it,
310
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:01,614
I want to be a ballet dancer
when I grow up.
311
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:02,983
Really?
312
00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:04,451
There's a load off my mind.
313
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,286
It's not as easy
as it looks, you know.
314
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:07,154
It's pretty hard.
315
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:10,090
It's pretty hard to watch.
316
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,959
Thanks.
317
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:16,029
Did you see how far Mia
could put her leg over her head?
318
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:19,066
I did notice that, yes.
319
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,667
So what do you think?
320
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:22,035
Fred Astaire
or Fred Flintstone?
321
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,671
He's got a lot of enthusiasm.
322
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:25,805
Yeah, he gets that from me.
323
00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,474
I thought you were
his uncle.
324
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:30,310
Well, that's the whole
nature-nurture debate, isn't it?
325
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:31,244
So, listen, Mia...
326
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,046
I'm not going out
with you, Charlie.
327
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:35,582
I know that.
You made it very clear.
328
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,318
My question was,
is there any more
we can do to help Jake?
329
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:40,921
Extra classes,
private tutoring,
330
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:43,290
the three of us in Cabo
for a long weekend?
331
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,692
If he comes
to class regularly
332
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:48,328
I think you'll be amazed
at his progress.
333
00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,931
Good. I'd hate
to think he's peaked.
334
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,532
In fact, we're having
a recital next month,
335
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:55,903
and with a lot of work and a
little luck we can include him.
336
00:13:58,605 --> 00:13:59,839
Charlie to base camp.
337
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,241
( imitates radio static )
338
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:04,111
Pretty cold up here.
Visibility zero.
339
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,981
( orchestra playing waltz )
340
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:15,522
( orchestra playing waltz )
341
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,536
( classical music playing )
342
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:39,612
( classical music playing )
343
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:11,111
*
344
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:22,655
*
345
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:04,564
*
346
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:22,949
I hope you like this.
347
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,118
It's an impertinent
little Cabernet
348
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,853
with oaky overtones
349
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,921
and just a hint
of a floral finish.
350
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,923
Wow, you really
know your wine.
351
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,893
No, I just read it
off the box.
352
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,362
So, what's the plan,
353
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,197
get me drunk and
take advantage of me?
354
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:39,732
Oh, good, you've
done this before.
355
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:46,273
I had a very nice
time tonight.
356
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:49,742
Was it worth all the trouble
I put you through?
357
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,244
You tell me.
358
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:54,147
Ask me again in the morning.
359
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:56,916
Charlie to base camp.
360
00:16:56,983 --> 00:17:00,120
I can see the summit.
361
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:04,091
Hey.
362
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,025
Hey, Jake.
363
00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:07,794
What are you
doing up?
364
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,229
Why shouldn't I be up?
365
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:11,331
Well, isn't it
a little past your bedtime?
366
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:12,965
I don't know what
you're talking about.
367
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:16,069
I don't have a bedtime.
368
00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:17,337
Okay.
369
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:18,738
So what's going on?
370
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:19,772
Not too much.
371
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,208
Where's your dad, Jake?
372
00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:24,477
I don't know.
Why don't you go look for him?
373
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:28,948
Look, Jake, Mia and I are
kind of busy right now.
374
00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:30,750
Busy doing what?
375
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:31,751
Talking.
376
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:33,052
Okay.
377
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,355
What are we
talking about?
378
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:37,056
We're not talking
about anything.
379
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:39,025
You're going to bed.
380
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,560
Why don't we let
Mia decide.
381
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:41,528
Jake, sweetheart,
382
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:43,196
I think you
should go to bed.
383
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,297
Are you sure?
384
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,366
You don't have
to decide right now.
385
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,268
Your uncle and I would
like to spend
386
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:49,969
some alone
time together.
387
00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:51,804
Oh.
388
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,073
All right.
389
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:56,743
You want me
to tuck you in?
390
00:17:56,809 --> 00:18:01,648
I'm too old to get tucked in,
you... you ass-face!
391
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:06,853
Okay, then. Sleep tight,
little camper.
392
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,158
Kids, huh?
393
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,526
Yeah, kids.
394
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:17,330
He never called me
an ass-face before.
395
00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:19,532
I think he's a little jealous.
396
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,767
Yeah.
397
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:24,404
I remember feeling like that
when I was his age.
398
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:25,238
Really?
399
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:27,674
The cafeteria lady.
400
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:32,445
Looked like Valerie Bertinelli,
but you know, with a hairnet
401
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:36,483
and just the cutest
whisper of a mustache.
402
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:39,252
She didn't know
I was alive.
403
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,687
You poor thing.
404
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:43,356
I'm sorry, Mia, I can't...
405
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:44,724
I can't do this to him.
406
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,393
Do what to him?
407
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,861
One afternoon I saw
the cafeteria lady
408
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:52,098
holding hands with
the shop teacher
in the parking lot,
409
00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:53,600
and it just killed me.
410
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,735
Mr. Danopoli.
411
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,704
I'll never forget it.
412
00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:00,840
She was holding the hand
with the missing thumb.
413
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,377
You know what?
414
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,246
I've got to take you home.
415
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:07,480
I understand.
416
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:08,315
You do?
417
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:09,882
You love Jake.
418
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:12,118
You'd rather give up
spending the night with me
419
00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:13,620
than risk
hurting his feelings.
420
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:14,487
Right.
421
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:17,324
Although, when you spell
it out like that
422
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:19,392
it sounds incredibly stupid.
423
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:21,694
You're a very sweet man.
424
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,396
Thank you.
425
00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:33,306
I was kidding.
Let's go upstairs.
426
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:36,108
Charlie, take me home.
427
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,144
No, no, no.
Let's talk about this.
428
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:39,912
He's 11. He'll get over it.
429
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,649
I got over One-Thumb Danopoli.
430
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,459
You asleep?
431
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:57,063
You can quit faking.
I took her home.
432
00:19:57,129 --> 00:19:59,799
Really?
433
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,167
Yeah.
434
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,068
How come?
435
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:04,271
It's part of the guy code.
436
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:05,572
When two friends
like the same girl,
437
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,640
one of them has to step aside.
438
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,677
Unless she's a good sport,
439
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:13,179
in which case it's like
Saturday morning at the bakery.
440
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:16,483
That's a complicated code.
441
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,285
Don't worry about it.
442
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:21,588
Bottom line is--
I'm out of the Mia business.
443
00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:22,689
Cool.
444
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,357
Now go to sleep.
445
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:27,193
Uncle Charlie?
446
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:28,295
Yeah?
447
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:31,764
I'm sorry I called you
an ass-face.
448
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:34,200
Yeah.
449
00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:36,636
I forgot about that.
450
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:48,748
( classical music playing )
451
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,878
No woman is worth this.
452
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,350
I am so proud.
453
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,585
Our little boy
is growing up.
30943
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