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1
00:00:28,180 --> 00:00:29,940
Jen, have a listen to this?
2
00:00:29,940 --> 00:00:31,840
Moss, have you
seen the newsletter?
3
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:33,819
Does this sound mysterious?
4
00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:41,219
Yeah, yeah, it's quite mysterious.
5
00:00:41,220 --> 00:00:43,859
I was hoping for ruddy mysterious.
6
00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:46,019
It's fairly mysterious.
7
00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:50,019
Compiling a playlist for a
role-playing game I'm hosting.
8
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,979
Important to get the right atmos.
9
00:00:51,980 --> 00:00:53,979
I don't know what
you're talking about.
10
00:00:53,980 --> 00:00:56,019
Kind of a Dungeons
and Dragons thing.
11
00:00:56,020 --> 00:00:57,979
Ew, is this something
to do with sex?
12
00:00:57,980 --> 00:00:59,499
Ha! Far from it, Jen.
13
00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:02,699
No, you see, in role-playing,
one person is a dungeon master,
14
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:04,099
or game master, or keeper.
15
00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:05,539
He or she controls the world
16
00:01:05,540 --> 00:01:08,179
and tells the players
what they're experiencing,
17
00:01:08,180 --> 00:01:09,939
whether battling a coal monster,
18
00:01:09,940 --> 00:01:13,259
or kicking back in a smelly old
tavern with some roguish elves.
19
00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:14,419
Played over a few hours,
20
00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:17,459
it uses dice rolls to determine
the outcome of events.
21
00:01:17,460 --> 00:01:20,099
Unlike most board games
you might be familiar with,
22
00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:22,419
role-playing games often
use a 20-sided dice.
23
00:01:22,420 --> 00:01:23,299
- Moss?
- Yeah.
24
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,339
I want to stop listening to this.
25
00:01:24,340 --> 00:01:26,859
I completely understand.
26
00:01:26,860 --> 00:01:30,659
So, in the world
we actually live in,
27
00:01:30,660 --> 00:01:34,579
a post has opened up
for Entertainments Manager.
28
00:01:34,580 --> 00:01:38,579
I could do that. That sounds great.
Better than whatever this job is.
29
00:01:38,740 --> 00:01:41,259
Entertainments Manager.
30
00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:43,859
It's not for you, Jen.
31
00:01:43,860 --> 00:01:45,939
What? Organizing cultural events
32
00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:48,699
and visiting business partners,
that is so me.
33
00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:52,579
It's not though.
It's really not for you.
34
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,339
Oh, what am I talking to you for?
Where's Roy?
35
00:01:54,340 --> 00:01:55,459
Not in yet.
36
00:01:55,460 --> 00:01:57,979
Is he still moping about
after that girl?
37
00:01:57,980 --> 00:02:00,979
Worse than ever.
Thank God he can't play guitar.
38
00:02:00,980 --> 00:02:02,419
Have you seen the pictures?
39
00:02:02,420 --> 00:02:04,579
Pictures? There's more than one?
40
00:02:04,580 --> 00:02:05,939
Yeah, there's a buttload.
41
00:02:05,940 --> 00:02:08,899
And she's Photoshopped
out of all of them.
42
00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:12,899
Yeah, it's like someone
broke up with Stalin.
43
00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:20,939
It's such a shame.
44
00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:24,939
I've never seen him happier
than the last few months. And now...
45
00:02:25,380 --> 00:02:26,339
Oh, hi, Roy!
46
00:02:26,340 --> 00:02:27,899
Hi, Roy.
47
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:30,019
It's okay, you're obviously
talking about me.
48
00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:30,859
No, no...
49
00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,539
It's fine.
50
00:02:32,540 --> 00:02:35,499
I realise I haven't been the
easiest person to be around
51
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:36,579
the last few weeks.
52
00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:39,899
But I really feel like I've
turned the corner now. I really do.
53
00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:42,419
So if we can all just
carry on as normal...
54
00:02:42,420 --> 00:02:45,299
My God, oh, my God!
55
00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:47,659
I feel like I've come out
the other side of it now.
56
00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:50,819
So, everything's going to be OK
from here on in...
57
00:02:50,820 --> 00:02:52,739
My heart hurts!
58
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:56,699
You do seem better than yesterday.
59
00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:59,639
But Roy, you've got
to snap out of this.
60
00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:00,479
I know, I know.
61
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,859
Some things just don't work out.
62
00:03:02,860 --> 00:03:05,979
I know you're not used to being
in a long-term relationship.
63
00:03:05,980 --> 00:03:08,619
It's really rare for me.
64
00:03:08,620 --> 00:03:10,699
It's so rare.
65
00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:14,219
But take it from me,
most of them just don't work out.
66
00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:16,259
She's right, Roy.
67
00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:18,019
And how would you know?
68
00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:19,979
I do all right.
69
00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:21,299
When?
70
00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:24,339
Well, if you must know,
I met a girl on holiday.
71
00:03:24,340 --> 00:03:26,859
They're always on holiday,
aren't they, Moss?
72
00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:30,579
Oh, shut up, Dumpo,
the elephant who got dumped!
73
00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:31,499
Hey, hey!
74
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:32,299
Well...
75
00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:35,339
No, it's okay. I'm all right.
76
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:36,819
I mean, I'm still a bit...
77
00:03:36,820 --> 00:03:39,099
She never said goodbye,
so I just kind of...
78
00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:43,099
It still just hurts just a little
bit whenever I think about her.
79
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:47,099
So. I guess all I have to do is just
never think about her. Simples!
80
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:53,099
Oh, she used to love that ad.
81
00:03:58,180 --> 00:04:00,779
It's not for you, Jen.
82
00:04:00,780 --> 00:04:02,619
What, why not?
83
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:05,539
Entertainments Manager?
Do you know what that involves?
84
00:04:05,540 --> 00:04:08,219
From what I can gather
it's organizing cultural events
85
00:04:08,220 --> 00:04:09,859
for out-of-town business partners.
86
00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:11,619
That's right. Yes, yes.
87
00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:13,459
It's not for you.
88
00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:16,899
It won't interfere with my duties
in the IT department.
89
00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:20,899
And I love culture. I've seen
We Will Rock You four times.
90
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:24,739
Eurgh...
91
00:04:24,740 --> 00:04:26,379
Well, Jen, I'd love to help you,
92
00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:29,259
but traditionally the role
of Entertainments Manager
93
00:04:29,260 --> 00:04:30,779
has always been held by a man.
94
00:04:30,780 --> 00:04:33,659
Mr. Reynholm,
I don't need to remind you
95
00:04:33,660 --> 00:04:36,259
of the report
that denounced Reynholm Industries
96
00:04:36,260 --> 00:04:38,619
as an institutionally sexist
organization.
97
00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:42,619
Now, you hold on a minute,
sugar tits!
98
00:04:43,740 --> 00:04:46,219
Everyone saw through that report.
99
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,459
I even got that award
off those feminists.
100
00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:52,459
The one shaped like
the ice-cream fellow.
101
00:04:53,020 --> 00:04:57,019
That's a Shithead Of The Year award.
102
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:02,579
It actually says it on the base,
"Shithead Of The Year."
103
00:05:02,580 --> 00:05:06,579
Did you not read the base?
104
00:05:25,820 --> 00:05:26,859
Oh, God!
105
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:30,659
Women, eh?
106
00:05:30,660 --> 00:05:32,539
What are they? Who knows?
107
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:33,699
Don't do this.
108
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:37,699
Can't live with them,
can't find them...sometimes.
109
00:05:39,260 --> 00:05:41,299
What's going on
in their little heads?
110
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:45,299
Don't ask me, I'm not a flippin'
women psychiatrist.
111
00:05:46,140 --> 00:05:50,639
But I have learned one or two things
from conversations with my mother.
112
00:05:50,940 --> 00:05:53,339
No, no, Moss, please,
113
00:05:53,340 --> 00:05:55,979
don't go any further,
just stop right there.
114
00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:59,739
You're no good at this kind of thing,
Moss, you'll just make it worse.
115
00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:02,299
Sorry, it's just
I've never seen you like this.
116
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:03,939
I know. But I'll be fine.
117
00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:06,459
I will. It's just...
You can't help with this.
118
00:06:06,460 --> 00:06:07,619
You just can't.
119
00:06:07,620 --> 00:06:10,059
I've got it. I've got the job.
120
00:06:10,060 --> 00:06:10,779
What?
121
00:06:10,780 --> 00:06:14,339
Douglas gave me the job
so I'd stop talking.
122
00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:18,339
Jen's Entertainments Manager.
123
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:23,179
It's not for you, Jen.
124
00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:24,899
Why does everyone keep saying that?
125
00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:25,819
What happened to Gerry?
126
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:27,099
Massive heart attack.
127
00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:28,379
I'm not surprised.
128
00:06:28,380 --> 00:06:30,619
Why are you not surprised?
Why is it not for me?
129
00:06:30,620 --> 00:06:34,419
Gerry was the... He was the
company Fredo. You're the new Fredo.
130
00:06:34,420 --> 00:06:35,859
I don't know what
you're talking about.
131
00:06:35,860 --> 00:06:37,739
Fredo, from the Godfather.
132
00:06:37,740 --> 00:06:39,419
Who's Fredo again? Who's he in it?
133
00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:43,259
He's the brother, whose job it is to
take out-of-town businessmen and...
134
00:06:43,260 --> 00:06:46,299
Show them a good time, yeah,
that's what I have to do.
135
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:48,019
I was thinking West End show...
136
00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:50,299
No, no, Jen, I don't
think you understand.
137
00:06:50,300 --> 00:06:54,299
These men are going to expect
a lot more than a West End show.
138
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:58,259
Fredo, Jen, he was,
139
00:06:58,260 --> 00:06:59,979
he was sort of a pimp.
140
00:06:59,980 --> 00:07:00,979
Oh, shut up.
141
00:07:00,980 --> 00:07:02,139
Wasn't he, Moss?
142
00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:03,299
What?
143
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:05,699
Fredo, in the film,
he was essentially a pimp.
144
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:09,699
No, he took the ring to Mordor.
145
00:07:14,740 --> 00:07:17,339
Fredo was a pimp.
146
00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:20,019
No, no, that film was the '70s.
147
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:21,739
Things are different now.
148
00:07:21,740 --> 00:07:23,979
Businessmen are different.
149
00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:31,659
Anyway, enough about our balls.
150
00:07:32,260 --> 00:07:36,259
Gentleman, I'd like you to meet Jen.
151
00:07:41,340 --> 00:07:44,659
No, no, no, Jen's
our new Entertainments Manager.
152
00:07:44,660 --> 00:07:47,219
But she's a woman, isn't she?
153
00:07:47,220 --> 00:07:51,219
Jen, I'd like you to meet
an old friend of mine, Phil.
154
00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,139
What are you up to, Reynholm?
155
00:07:56,140 --> 00:07:57,419
Don't you worry, Phil.
156
00:07:57,420 --> 00:08:00,459
Jen may look like an old maid
holding pennies in her arse,
157
00:08:00,460 --> 00:08:02,819
but she knows the sleaziest routes
158
00:08:02,820 --> 00:08:05,539
round this old town
I like to call Londinius.
159
00:08:05,540 --> 00:08:09,539
And I'm sure she's planned something
suitably raucous for you reprobates.
160
00:08:10,220 --> 00:08:14,219
Oh, yes, yes, I have tickets for
a wonderful show in the West End.
161
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:16,259
As long as it
doesn't have subtitles.
162
00:08:16,260 --> 00:08:17,179
Subtitles, no.
163
00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:19,099
Woah, what's got subtitles?!
164
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:20,379
This thing she's bringing us to.
165
00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:21,539
Subtitles? Oh, God!
166
00:08:21,540 --> 00:08:24,499
I can't read while I'm also
trying to see things.
167
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:28,419
No, no, it's a show, it's a show.
There's no subtitles.
168
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:30,059
I hate subtitles.
169
00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:31,339
What happened to Gerry?
170
00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:32,739
His heart exploded.
171
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:35,379
Brilliant!
172
00:08:35,380 --> 00:08:36,899
No, he's quite seriously ill.
173
00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:38,339
That's classic Gerry.
174
00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:44,459
Gerry wouldn't have brought us
to something with subtitles.
175
00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:46,579
There's no subtitles, it's a show.
176
00:08:46,580 --> 00:08:49,379
Come on, Jen, what type of show?
177
00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:53,019
Well, yes, well it's very raunchy.
178
00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:55,299
Yes, I don't think
you'll be disappointed.
179
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:56,179
Women in it?
180
00:08:56,180 --> 00:08:58,499
Women in it?
Yes, it's an all-woman show.
181
00:08:58,500 --> 00:08:59,899
It's very rude.
182
00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:01,379
An all-woman show?
183
00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:02,499
And it's rude.
184
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:06,499
Eiffel Tower!
185
00:09:09,660 --> 00:09:12,259
I'm so sorry, I really
can't apologise enough.
186
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,499
I've never been so
embarrassed in my life.
187
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:18,499
That woman was in East Enders,
how dare you humiliate her?!
188
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:23,619
It's not our fault you took us
to The Vagina Monologues.
189
00:09:23,620 --> 00:09:26,179
You get there,
and it's just women talking.
190
00:09:26,180 --> 00:09:27,779
False advertising.
191
00:09:27,780 --> 00:09:29,819
Look, we're in town
for five more days,
192
00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:32,219
you better have
something proper for us to do.
193
00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:35,379
Next time you take us to something
about talking fannies,
194
00:09:35,380 --> 00:09:39,379
it better be about talking fannies.
195
00:09:44,180 --> 00:09:46,899
I know you had good reasons
for giving me this award.
196
00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:48,899
I should never have done
that interview.
197
00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:50,699
But that journalist had an agenda.
198
00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:53,339
There's more.
"Women are a kind of savage animal,
199
00:09:53,340 --> 00:09:56,819
"who men have civilized
with their insatiable sexuality."
200
00:09:56,820 --> 00:10:00,819
What don't you like about that?
201
00:10:01,220 --> 00:10:05,219
"Women are essentially no different
from radiators."
202
00:10:06,180 --> 00:10:09,539
"I like my women
like I like my toast, hot..."
203
00:10:09,540 --> 00:10:13,539
And consumable with butter.
204
00:10:13,540 --> 00:10:15,139
You don't have to remind me.
205
00:10:15,140 --> 00:10:17,779
I'm all too familiar
with my misguided words.
206
00:10:17,780 --> 00:10:21,779
Ladies, listen,
no-one can mistake me for Gok Wan.
207
00:10:22,980 --> 00:10:26,979
I've an old-fashioned mindset,
but damn it, at least I try.
208
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:30,299
And Reynholm Industries is changing,
ladies, for the better.
209
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:33,259
The glass ceiling
is now a glass floor.
210
00:10:33,260 --> 00:10:35,299
The women are floating above it,
211
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:39,299
and the men are just looking up
at them.
212
00:10:39,980 --> 00:10:43,979
So, what do you want from us?
213
00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:50,139
Oh, please take that award back
and give it to somebody else.
214
00:10:50,140 --> 00:10:53,219
Mr. Reynholm, I really need
to talk to you about something.
215
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,979
Ah, Jen, I'd like you to meet
some very special woman.
216
00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:58,699
Oh, no, no, no!
217
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,019
What?
218
00:11:00,020 --> 00:11:02,579
Mr. Reynholm, I will not
work with prostitutes.
219
00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:06,059
No, no, no, these are feminists.
220
00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:07,779
Dress it up however you like,
221
00:11:07,780 --> 00:11:09,699
they still sleep with men for money.
222
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:15,099
but I don't charge
for these potatoes.
223
00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:19,019
And I don't like women who do.
224
00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:23,019
Don't listen to her!
The bitch is crazy.
225
00:11:27,740 --> 00:11:30,179
Douglas wants me
to see out the week.
226
00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:34,139
A whole week in the
company of those idiots.
227
00:11:34,140 --> 00:11:36,339
Culture's out, restaurants are out.
228
00:11:36,340 --> 00:11:40,339
Oh, God, this is a nightmare.
229
00:11:44,940 --> 00:11:46,699
Men, eh,
230
00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:50,699
what are they like? With their
bawdy talk and rough-housing,
231
00:11:50,940 --> 00:11:54,939
and their wandering hands,
and breath in the morning.
232
00:11:56,420 --> 00:11:58,379
I'd like to see them
have the babies.
233
00:11:58,380 --> 00:12:00,779
What are you getting at, Moss?
234
00:12:00,780 --> 00:12:02,819
Well, unless I'm very much mistaken,
235
00:12:02,820 --> 00:12:06,819
this seems to be a problem for
which you need the male perspective.
236
00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:17,299
Do you know any men?
237
00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:20,299
You want a good time, right?
One that walks on the wild side
238
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:22,459
without compromising
your principles?
239
00:12:22,460 --> 00:12:24,419
Yeah, that's exactly what I want.
240
00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:26,779
Then you got it, baby!
241
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:30,779
...which is why the game needs
a 20-sided dice.
242
00:12:43,740 --> 00:12:46,379
I've not understood a
word you've just said.
243
00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:49,019
What is it?
Some sort of computer game?
244
00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:53,019
In a sense, except it uses the
most powerful processor known to man.
245
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:56,419
The human mind.
246
00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:57,739
But you're not playing.
247
00:12:57,740 --> 00:13:00,579
I'm not a player.
But I am playing.
248
00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,819
He sort of
tells us what's happening.
249
00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:07,539
I will be your guide.
250
00:13:07,540 --> 00:13:11,019
Through my words, you will
experience the land of Elfenheart.
251
00:13:11,020 --> 00:13:14,619
From the mighty mountains that
border the Goblin Wastelands.
252
00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:18,619
To the sewers that run like a spider
web through the city of Jandor.
253
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:21,379
I, gentlemen, will be your eyes.
254
00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:33,739
I will be everyone you meet,
every creature you encounter,
255
00:13:34,260 --> 00:13:37,339
every trap you spring.
256
00:13:37,340 --> 00:13:41,339
What about him? What's this business
with the face like a slapped arse?
257
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:46,419
I'm sorry, I just came out of
a long term relationship, so...
258
00:13:46,420 --> 00:13:49,339
It doesn't...
She was the greatest woman
259
00:13:49,340 --> 00:13:51,659
I've ever met and I'm never
going to see her again.
260
00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:54,459
But it's fine, I mean,
she never said goodbye.
261
00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:56,219
I'm not going
to bore you with it.
262
00:13:56,220 --> 00:13:58,379
See that you bloody don't!
263
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:00,619
I still don't understand
what this game is!
264
00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:02,339
It seems gay.
265
00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:05,539
Are dragons gay, Phil?
266
00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:07,339
Mighty warrior priests wielding
267
00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:11,339
golden staffs.
I suppose they're gay too?
268
00:14:11,740 --> 00:14:13,419
Here are your character sheets.
269
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,979
John One, you're a unicorn man.
270
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:19,979
John Two, you're a wood fairy.
271
00:14:20,180 --> 00:14:24,179
And Phil, you're the Gypsy
assassin, Esmerelda.
272
00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:26,459
I'm a woman?
273
00:14:30,780 --> 00:14:32,299
I don't think I want to be a woman.
274
00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:33,459
Just go with it.
275
00:14:33,460 --> 00:14:35,419
It will end.
276
00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:39,299
So, gentlemen, are you prepared
to open the doors to your mind
277
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:42,019
and travel to worlds
hitherto undreamed of?
278
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:53,299
Look at those fun bags.
279
00:14:53,620 --> 00:14:55,379
Everybody doing okay, yeah?
280
00:14:55,380 --> 00:14:57,699
You good for drinks?
281
00:14:57,700 --> 00:15:00,299
Loosen up.
It's a role-playing party.
282
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,899
Jen, can I have a word?
283
00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:06,179
I don't think I want
to hang with these guys.
284
00:15:06,180 --> 00:15:08,139
Oh, come on, Phil!
285
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:10,659
These guys are the best.
286
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:14,379
They're going to do things
tonight that'll blow your mind.
287
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:15,139
Really?
288
00:15:15,140 --> 00:15:17,539
Really? Look at them.
They're young, they're keen.
289
00:15:17,540 --> 00:15:19,899
And all they want to do
is show you a good time.
290
00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:23,859
So get back there before
you hurt their feelings.
291
00:15:23,860 --> 00:15:27,859
Could I steal the lovely Roy
for a sec?
292
00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:36,179
It's just him in all of these.
293
00:15:36,180 --> 00:15:39,179
Oh, thanks, Jen, that was
all getting a little bit...
294
00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:41,299
What do you think you're doing?
295
00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:42,059
What?
296
00:15:42,060 --> 00:15:44,539
What? Bringing everyone
down with your private life.
297
00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:47,219
They don't want to know about
your miserable private life.
298
00:15:47,220 --> 00:15:49,699
They're here for a good time.
Look at that face.
299
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:53,019
Who'd want to
role-play with that face?
300
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:56,419
I'm sorry Jen... I just...
I'm not feeling it tonight.
301
00:15:56,420 --> 00:15:59,899
Then fake it, sweetheart, yeah?
302
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:03,899
We're getting good money for this.
303
00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:07,659
Don't you want to get
the deposit for a flat,
304
00:16:07,660 --> 00:16:09,699
leave those bad memories behind?
305
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:10,539
Yeah.
306
00:16:11,820 --> 00:16:13,699
I'll try harder, Jen.
307
00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:15,459
Okay.
308
00:16:15,460 --> 00:16:18,059
Good girl.
309
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:22,059
Get back there and show
those Johns a good time.
310
00:16:25,820 --> 00:16:27,899
Well, that cleaned the pipes.
311
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:31,499
I've got to thank you, Miranda,
for giving me a second chance.
312
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:34,779
Oh, don't mention it. Although you
do know I don't have the authority
313
00:16:34,780 --> 00:16:36,659
to take back the award myself?
314
00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:39,579
Oh, what?
315
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:43,579
No, we all make mistakes.
And you intrigue me.
316
00:16:43,860 --> 00:16:46,699
Something tells me there's
more to you than meets the eye.
317
00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:50,699
Do you mean the rumors
that I killed my wife?
318
00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:55,499
No. Are there rumors?
319
00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:56,539
No.
320
00:16:56,540 --> 00:17:00,539
There were rumors that there was a
rumor, but that was just bullshit.
321
00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:05,099
I didn't like the way the nominations
came from inside your company.
322
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:06,979
Inside my company?
323
00:17:06,980 --> 00:17:09,459
Yeah, one of the women from the IT
department faxed a dossier
324
00:17:09,460 --> 00:17:11,379
of your behaviour over
the last 12 months.
325
00:17:11,380 --> 00:17:15,379
One of the women in
the IT department?
326
00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:18,299
Oh, sorry, Phil.
327
00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:21,859
Heal All is probably the worst spell
you could have used. The sound of
328
00:17:21,860 --> 00:17:24,659
your low-level magic attracts the
attention of the palace guards.
329
00:17:24,660 --> 00:17:26,819
Damn it!
330
00:17:26,820 --> 00:17:28,299
One comes through the door.
331
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:29,459
Throwing knife.
332
00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:30,859
Are you sure? Quite a low damage.
333
00:17:30,860 --> 00:17:33,459
I have a plus 40%
chance of a critical.
334
00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:36,499
Remember the talking bunny that
gave me that magic bracelet?
335
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:40,499
Yeah, that bunny thing
gave him that thing.
336
00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:44,739
You're absolutely right. Roll 'em.
337
00:17:44,740 --> 00:17:47,899
Yes!
338
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,299
Direct hit.
The knife cleaves his head in twain
339
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:53,739
and some of his brains runneth
down John Two's invisibility cloak.
340
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:57,619
Eiffel Tower!
341
00:17:57,620 --> 00:17:59,979
Unfortunately, he wasn't alone.
342
00:17:59,980 --> 00:18:01,179
Dammit!
343
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:04,899
'Tis the dreaded Imperial
Guard, the cruelest of all
344
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:07,659
of Queen Elisa's troops.
At their head...
345
00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:10,759
someone you recognise.
346
00:18:12,380 --> 00:18:14,819
Well, well, well.
347
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:18,339
If it isn't the adventurers who
have been causing me all this bother.
348
00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:20,139
Lucius Santana!
349
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:22,539
The very same.
350
00:18:22,540 --> 00:18:25,779
Stand your men down, Lucius!
We have no quarrel with you!
351
00:18:25,780 --> 00:18:29,179
Quarrel? I just came to see how a
mismatched bunch of raggle taggle
352
00:18:29,180 --> 00:18:32,219
adventurers bested some of the
deadliest criminals in Crackenwood.
353
00:18:32,220 --> 00:18:34,219
That's us!
354
00:18:38,580 --> 00:18:40,939
You have my thanks.
And if you ever want to join
355
00:18:40,940 --> 00:18:43,499
the Palace Guard,
you know where I am.
356
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:46,859
The Palace Guard?
357
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:48,539
You have my sword.
358
00:18:48,540 --> 00:18:50,059
And my staff.
359
00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:52,379
And my bunny bracelet.
360
00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:56,379
And whatever it is that I have.
361
00:18:56,780 --> 00:18:58,299
The mist clears.
362
00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:02,299
You see a lone, female figure.
363
00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:10,659
That's ruddy mysterious.
364
00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:16,339
Hello, Darkharden.
365
00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:18,619
Hello.
366
00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,499
Who goes there?
367
00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:24,499
It is I, Queen Elisa Eldridge of
the Elves, who cruelly jilted you
368
00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:28,939
not three moons ago.
369
00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:39,499
Don't do this.
370
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:43,499
Just go with it, Roy.
371
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:51,419
Hello, my queen.
372
00:19:51,420 --> 00:19:53,299
How are you?
373
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:56,259
I'm fine.
374
00:19:56,260 --> 00:19:58,299
You look well.
375
00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:00,699
So do you... Does she?
376
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,139
Yes, she does, actually.
377
00:20:02,140 --> 00:20:03,699
Does she?
378
00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:06,619
So, what are you up to?
379
00:20:06,620 --> 00:20:08,659
Oh, you know just...
380
00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:11,579
Just keeping busy.
381
00:20:11,580 --> 00:20:14,819
Missing you a little bit.
382
00:20:14,820 --> 00:20:16,379
Yourself?
383
00:20:16,380 --> 00:20:19,019
Usual boring pageantry.
384
00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:23,019
You know how the people of
Pippsiehollow love a parade.
385
00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:26,019
What are you doing here?
386
00:20:27,540 --> 00:20:28,579
Sorry.
387
00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:35,379
Sorry. Bear with me.
Bear with me. Bear with me.
388
00:20:40,260 --> 00:20:44,259
I sense a sadness in you.
389
00:20:50,420 --> 00:20:52,619
It's just hard.
390
00:20:52,620 --> 00:20:55,979
You know?
391
00:20:55,980 --> 00:20:59,979
I miss you.
392
00:20:59,980 --> 00:21:03,979
I can still smell you on our pillow.
393
00:21:04,940 --> 00:21:07,619
When I close my eyes,
394
00:21:07,620 --> 00:21:11,619
it's still your face I see.
395
00:21:14,420 --> 00:21:16,939
It's just hard.
396
00:21:16,940 --> 00:21:20,939
You were here
and then you were gone.
397
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,579
What do you want?
398
00:21:24,580 --> 00:21:28,579
It was not easy for me
to come here, Darkharden.
399
00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:32,899
But I had one thing
I felt I needed to say to you.
400
00:21:49,860 --> 00:21:51,359
Goodbye.
401
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:58,699
Goodbye.
402
00:22:10,900 --> 00:22:13,659
Brilliant night! Brilliant!
I can't believe
403
00:22:13,660 --> 00:22:16,939
I've never tried role-playing
games before.
404
00:22:16,940 --> 00:22:20,939
I'm going to go home and tell
the whole rugby club about it.
405
00:22:20,980 --> 00:22:23,299
Roy and Moss did not disappoint?
406
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:25,579
They did not.
I'd like to see them again.
407
00:22:25,580 --> 00:22:27,499
Thank you, Douglas.
408
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:30,939
That's one special little
lady you've got there.
409
00:22:30,940 --> 00:22:34,939
I'm glad Jerry died.
410
00:22:35,220 --> 00:22:36,339
Eiffel Tower!
411
00:22:36,340 --> 00:22:39,099
Eiffel Tower! Eiffel Tower!
412
00:22:39,100 --> 00:22:41,819
Eiffel Tower!
413
00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:45,819
Before you go, Jen,
I know it was you.
414
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,879
You broke my heart.
You broke my heart!
415
00:22:54,580 --> 00:22:57,299
That's right.
That's right!
416
00:22:57,300 --> 00:22:58,379
Shut up!
417
00:22:58,380 --> 00:22:59,939
Oh, you've cheered up.
418
00:22:59,940 --> 00:23:02,899
Oh, yeah, I'm feeling a
lot better now, Jen, thanks.
419
00:23:02,900 --> 00:23:06,899
Thanks to a certain Elfin queen.
420
00:23:09,580 --> 00:23:11,819
What happened to Fredo, in the film?
421
00:23:11,820 --> 00:23:15,819
Ah, oh...
The Godfather has him killed.
422
00:23:18,220 --> 00:23:20,059
I'm going to go home.
423
00:23:20,060 --> 00:23:21,559
I'm not feeling too good.
424
00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:36,499
Problem solved!
29717
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