Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:29,000
Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,419
And every other day, I
take a short helicopter ride
3
00:00:34,420 --> 00:00:36,299
to Heston Blumenthal's restaurant.
4
00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:38,019
Last night,
5
00:00:38,020 --> 00:00:41,139
I ate a chocolate radio that
still worked in my stomach,
6
00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:44,459
and a flat chicken that was
actually a glass of water.
7
00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:46,059
Even the menu was edible.
8
00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:48,259
They said it wasn't, but I ate it.
9
00:00:48,260 --> 00:00:50,979
Sounds like you're
living the life of Riley.
10
00:00:50,980 --> 00:00:54,979
Well, I actually knew Riley,
and yes, there are similarities.
11
00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:59,219
And yet, there is some sadness in
your life. Tell me about Victoria.
12
00:01:00,100 --> 00:01:03,379
You'll have to forgive me,
there's been quite a few Victorias.
13
00:01:03,380 --> 00:01:04,659
Your wife?
14
00:01:04,660 --> 00:01:08,139
My God, my wife, oh yes, Victoria!
15
00:01:08,140 --> 00:01:12,139
What a fantastic woman. The two weeks
we were married were unforgettable.
16
00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:17,299
She disappeared in mysterious
circumstances, did she not?
17
00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:20,459
She vanished while washing the car.
18
00:01:20,460 --> 00:01:24,179
Despite a search that lasted
nearly five hours, we found nothing.
19
00:01:24,180 --> 00:01:28,139
So naturally, we assumed
the worst. You must miss her.
20
00:01:28,140 --> 00:01:32,139
More than words could say.
21
00:01:32,980 --> 00:01:36,979
I'd give anything to see her
walk through that door right now.
22
00:01:41,660 --> 00:01:44,619
Hey, why don't you
take your clothes off?
23
00:01:44,620 --> 00:01:46,099
What?
24
00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:50,099
Come on, we both knew it was on the cards
as soon as I realised you were a woman!
25
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:52,779
What if someone were to walk in?
26
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:56,019
I left strict instructions not to
be disturbed in case we had sex.
27
00:01:56,020 --> 00:01:59,019
There's no way anyone is
walking through that door...
28
00:01:59,020 --> 00:02:00,499
Hello, Douglas.
29
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:02,859
Victoria!
30
00:02:02,860 --> 00:02:06,859
But I thought you were dead!
31
00:02:10,220 --> 00:02:14,219
I must say, Douglas, you still
don't seem very pleased to see me.
32
00:02:17,260 --> 00:02:20,819
No, no, I must have eaten
some bad stereo system.
33
00:02:20,820 --> 00:02:22,099
How's the wine?
34
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,459
How's the wine? Exquisite.
35
00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:26,019
From the chef's own cellar.
36
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:29,859
What are you doing, Victoria?
Last time I saw you, you were...
37
00:02:29,860 --> 00:02:32,899
Washing the car? Yes, I
imagine you have many questions.
38
00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:36,659
I was under a lot of stress that
day, Douglas. I think we both were.
39
00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:38,259
We both knew it wasn't working.
40
00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:41,379
I picked up my sponge and bucket
with a heavy heart that day.
41
00:02:41,380 --> 00:02:44,459
The rest is a blank.The next thing
I can remember with any clarity
42
00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:47,299
is being on a kayaking
holiday two years later.
43
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:48,819
That looks good, what's that?
44
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:51,099
I sort of wish I'd ordered that.
45
00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:55,099
Our invisible desserts have arrived!
46
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,619
I know we weren't happy that second
week of our marriage, Douglas,
47
00:02:58,620 --> 00:03:00,859
but give us another chance, as a couple.
48
00:03:00,860 --> 00:03:03,139
I don't know.
49
00:03:03,140 --> 00:03:06,899
I don't think we can just
pick up from where we left off.
50
00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:10,539
No, Victoria, I'm sorry, it's over.
51
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:16,419
Oh God!
52
00:03:16,420 --> 00:03:19,779
I forgot you could do that.
53
00:03:19,780 --> 00:03:23,779
Maybe we should give it another go!
54
00:03:25,260 --> 00:03:27,859
Nnngh...
55
00:03:27,860 --> 00:03:30,379
Well that is new!
56
00:03:30,380 --> 00:03:31,619
How are you doing that?
57
00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:35,619
That might be the dog.
58
00:03:36,020 --> 00:03:37,539
Heston!
59
00:03:37,540 --> 00:03:39,659
I'd like to introduce you to my...
60
00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:43,659
Wi-i-i-ife.
61
00:03:46,420 --> 00:03:50,219
I want to divorce my wife.
62
00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:51,259
Why are you telling me?
63
00:03:51,260 --> 00:03:52,819
Aren't you with legal?
64
00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:54,739
No.
65
00:03:54,740 --> 00:03:56,099
Remind me?
66
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:58,899
IT. Relationship manager.
67
00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:02,419
Ah. Well then I probably shouldn't
have told you any of that.
68
00:04:02,420 --> 00:04:04,059
Anyway...
69
00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:06,459
I want to divorce her right now.
70
00:04:06,460 --> 00:04:08,859
Now's too late. Before now.
71
00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:11,979
In fact, I want to have already
divorced her, is that possible?
72
00:04:11,980 --> 00:04:14,539
Well, as I said, I'm not a lawyer, so...
73
00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:18,539
Yes, but you're a relationship
manager, and this is a relationship!
74
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,259
Well, erm...
75
00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:22,699
have you told her yet?
76
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:26,699
Kind of. I changed my
Friendface profile from "married"
77
00:04:27,260 --> 00:04:29,859
to "it's complicated".
78
00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:32,859
That's not the same as
telling her, Mr. Reynholm.
79
00:04:32,860 --> 00:04:34,699
Yeah, but someone will
pass it on. Why not you?
80
00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:35,579
Yeah, but someone will
pass it on. Why not you? No!
81
00:04:35,580 --> 00:04:38,019
Oh come on! Please break up with
82
00:04:38,020 --> 00:04:40,939
my vanishing, car cleaning
wife! I don't want to do it!
83
00:04:40,940 --> 00:04:42,459
I don't want to do it!
84
00:04:42,460 --> 00:04:44,259
I'll give you...I don't know...
85
00:04:44,260 --> 00:04:49,419
10,000.
86
00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:50,619
Who are you again?
87
00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:52,459
I'm Jen Barber.
88
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:56,459
I'm with the IT department
at Reynholm Industries.
89
00:04:56,580 --> 00:04:58,819
Sorry, I thought I
was meeting my husband.
90
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:04,319
Mr. Reynholm asked me to
convey a... a message to you.
91
00:05:15,260 --> 00:05:16,779
Mrs. Reynholm.
92
00:05:16,780 --> 00:05:19,499
How long have you and Mr.
Reynholm known each other?
93
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:20,579
About ten years.
94
00:05:20,580 --> 00:05:22,939
Ten years, ten wonderful years.
95
00:05:22,940 --> 00:05:24,939
Who are you?
96
00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:27,779
Mrs. Reynholm... Can
I call you Victoria?
97
00:05:27,780 --> 00:05:28,299
No.
98
00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:29,659
Mrs. Reynholm.
99
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:33,659
Sometimes there is a day
and then there is a night.
100
00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:37,699
Sometimes there is a morn,
101
00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:39,859
and then there is an eve.
102
00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:43,859
Flowers grow, trees are cut down,
103
00:05:44,380 --> 00:05:47,299
babies are born, but...
104
00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:49,019
Lawyers exist.
105
00:05:49,020 --> 00:05:53,019
What are you trying to say?
106
00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:55,859
Oh, I can't do it, I just can't.
107
00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:58,179
Let me guess. My
husband wants to leave me
108
00:05:58,180 --> 00:06:02,179
and he paid you a large amount of money to
spare him the embarrassment of facing me.
109
00:06:02,540 --> 00:06:05,779
Yes, but I'm not going to
take the money... I feel sick.
110
00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:08,699
Of course you do,
you're a normal person.
111
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,299
You're not upset?
112
00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:12,899
No, because I'm not a normal person.
113
00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:15,379
You see, what you're trying
to do here but can't...
114
00:06:15,380 --> 00:06:18,379
If the tables were turned, I
wouldn't find it difficult at all.
115
00:06:18,380 --> 00:06:22,379
In fact, it's how I met his first wife.
116
00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:25,819
I didn't know these were edible too.
117
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:29,819
They're not.
118
00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:35,579
What's all that?
119
00:06:35,580 --> 00:06:37,979
What's all that? I have to
spend the afternoon with Douglas.
120
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:40,939
Somehow I've been drafted
into his legal eagle fantasy.
121
00:06:40,940 --> 00:06:43,459
Have you ever spent any
serious time with that man?
122
00:06:43,460 --> 00:06:46,539
He's unbelievable! You should
hear the way he talks about women.
123
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:50,539
Oh yeah, he's some piece of
work. He's like a sexy Hitler.
124
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:53,659
I mean, I don't expect
to put on a pedal stool,
125
00:06:53,660 --> 00:06:55,779
but please, show a little respect!
126
00:06:55,780 --> 00:06:58,019
I'm sorry, you don't
expect to be put on a what?
127
00:06:58,020 --> 00:07:00,099
On a pedal stool.
128
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:04,099
A pedal stool?
129
00:07:04,460 --> 00:07:06,499
What's a pedal stool?
130
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,739
Oh, you know, you put women on it
131
00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:10,819
when you admire them,
you know, the phrase.
132
00:07:10,820 --> 00:07:14,819
Oh yeah, the famous phrase,
"to be put on a pedal stool".
133
00:07:15,780 --> 00:07:17,019
"Pedestal"!
134
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,059
What?
135
00:07:18,060 --> 00:07:19,859
"Pedestal" is the word!
136
00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:22,059
What's a "pedal stool"?!
137
00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:25,579
Did you really think there was
such a thing as a pedal stool?
138
00:07:25,580 --> 00:07:28,379
Shut up, everyone has blind spots.
139
00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:32,339
Can you help me sort through all
this legal crap, please, Moss?
140
00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:36,099
I'd rather not. I've not had good
experiences with the legal system.
141
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:36,979
How come?
142
00:07:36,980 --> 00:07:40,979
How come? Well, when I was 11, I broke
the patio window, and my mother sued me.
143
00:07:41,620 --> 00:07:43,699
She sued you?
144
00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:46,259
Yeah, to teach me a lesson.
145
00:07:46,260 --> 00:07:49,899
She's always been a very
aggressive litigator.
146
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:52,059
Can you even do that,
can you sue your children?
147
00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:55,179
It was kind of a show
trial in the kitchen.
148
00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:56,579
She made a little gallery for the cat.
149
00:07:56,580 --> 00:07:59,339
She made a little gallery for
the cat. Aw... What happened?
150
00:07:59,340 --> 00:08:01,619
She won.
151
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:04,499
I'm still paying costs.
152
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:08,499
"Pedal stool"!
153
00:08:10,460 --> 00:08:12,819
212 million quid!
154
00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:14,859
You can't be serious!
155
00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:16,859
Oh, we're quite serious, Mr. Reynholm.
156
00:08:16,860 --> 00:08:20,139
But that's enough to bring
Reynholm Industries to its knees!
157
00:08:20,140 --> 00:08:23,659
Bloody blast, this is up my arse!
158
00:08:23,660 --> 00:08:26,699
That is the amount, it
is not up for negotiation.
159
00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:29,859
Balls from hell, you shit-twins!
160
00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:31,099
Calm down, Mr. Reynholm.
161
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:33,899
Bollocks to be telling me
to calm down, my old chap.
162
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:37,899
She wants 220 titty million quid
and you tell me to calm down!
163
00:08:38,020 --> 00:08:39,259
You're fired.
164
00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:40,299
I'm not your lawyer.
165
00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:43,619
Piss off! I'm going to represent myself.
166
00:08:43,620 --> 00:08:45,859
I'm not your lawyer.
167
00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:47,899
You sit there, all confident.
168
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:51,659
Yeah? But when this goes to Court,
that's when the talking stops.
169
00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:53,459
Mr. Reynholm,
170
00:08:53,460 --> 00:08:55,859
there might actually be
more talking in Court,
171
00:08:55,860 --> 00:08:59,499
this would actually be a comparatively small
amount of talking, what we're doing here.
172
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:00,419
Oh, I see.
173
00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:00,979
Sorry.
174
00:09:00,980 --> 00:09:04,419
Sorry. No, that's all right,
it's what I pay you for.
175
00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:06,019
Look at her. Cold as ice.
176
00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:10,019
But I tell you this, behind
those shades, she's terrified.
177
00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:18,539
One thing you should
know about me, Jen...
178
00:09:18,540 --> 00:09:21,699
When I put my mind to
something, it gets done.
179
00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:25,299
Representing myself is the
kind of challenge I relish.
180
00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:27,539
Well, you'll have to
do a lot of preparation.
181
00:09:27,540 --> 00:09:30,219
Bring it on!
182
00:09:51,980 --> 00:09:54,499
What's this?
183
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:57,899
It's my suit. I made it
myself. Took me a few days!
184
00:09:57,900 --> 00:10:00,619
How did you find time
to prepare for the trial?
185
00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:03,419
How did I what?
186
00:10:03,420 --> 00:10:06,339
Mrs. Reynholm, you saythat in
the short time you were married,
187
00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:09,179
you became indispensable
to Mr. Reynholm...
188
00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:11,739
in what way were you indispensable?
189
00:10:11,740 --> 00:10:13,539
I had to brush his teeth.
190
00:10:13,540 --> 00:10:14,779
Really?
191
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:15,979
Yes.
192
00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:17,339
That's not an expression?
193
00:10:17,340 --> 00:10:18,619
No.
194
00:10:18,620 --> 00:10:19,859
You got the brush,
195
00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:22,579
you applied toothpaste to it,
196
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:25,419
you moved it into his mouth...
197
00:10:25,420 --> 00:10:29,419
and moved your hand up and down.
198
00:10:29,820 --> 00:10:31,779
Well, if I didn't do
it, he wouldn't do it.
199
00:10:31,780 --> 00:10:35,379
Well, if I didn't do it, he wouldn't
do it. Make a note... "brush teeth".
200
00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:38,219
Now, you're asking for
quite a large amount.
201
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:40,019
I think it is an appropriate amount.
202
00:10:40,020 --> 00:10:41,659
Bollocks.
203
00:10:41,660 --> 00:10:42,939
Mr. Reynholm.
204
00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:45,499
Yes, your honour?
205
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:49,499
I would ask you to refrain from using
that kind of language in my courtroom.
206
00:10:49,540 --> 00:10:53,539
And which word in particular
do you object to, your honour?
207
00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:56,779
You only said one.
208
00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:58,139
Could you read it back?
209
00:10:58,140 --> 00:10:59,579
"Bollocks".
210
00:10:59,580 --> 00:11:03,579
Don't read it back!
211
00:11:04,020 --> 00:11:07,179
Why do you say it is
an appropriate amount?
212
00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:09,379
Mr. Reynholm caused me great distress.
213
00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:11,299
I'm entitledto some restitution.
214
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:15,299
Besides, it's not as if he ever put the
money to good use. As the film proves.
215
00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:19,659
Your honour, may I present the
central exhibit to our case...
216
00:11:19,660 --> 00:11:21,659
It is, I'm afraid, a sex tape.
217
00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:23,859
A sex tape?
218
00:11:23,860 --> 00:11:27,859
Which one?
219
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:44,579
The alien craft appears to
have dropped its shields.
220
00:11:44,940 --> 00:11:48,659
Thank you, Female Chekhov! Female
Sulu, beam their Captain aboard.
221
00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:51,979
But... Captain...are you sure?
222
00:11:51,980 --> 00:11:54,259
But she's hurt, she may need our help.
223
00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:58,259
Jim, even if she's injured as
you say, I can't do an examination
224
00:11:58,340 --> 00:12:00,579
on a new species
without proper research.
225
00:12:00,580 --> 00:12:03,099
Dammit, Jim, I'm a sexy doctor,
226
00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:05,499
not a sexy scientist!
227
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:08,099
Female Sulu. You have your orders.
228
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:10,939
Perhaps the good doctor thinks
229
00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:13,939
certain alien species do not
fall under the Hippocratic oath.
230
00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:17,939
I have never refused treatment to a
patient, Female Spock, and you know that!
231
00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:26,739
I think we've seen enough.
232
00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:29,179
Your Honour, I object!
233
00:12:29,180 --> 00:12:33,179
There's a brilliant bit coming up.
234
00:12:33,740 --> 00:12:37,739
Mr. Reynholm, are you ready to start
your cross-examination of Mrs. Reynholm?
235
00:12:38,180 --> 00:12:41,299
I am, your Honour, but rest assured,
236
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,579
it will be a normal examination.
237
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:47,579
I am not in any way cross.
238
00:12:48,860 --> 00:12:52,099
You are Victoria Reynholm, are you not?
239
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:54,499
Mr. Reynholm, we have
already established that.
240
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:57,739
Might I suggest that you try less
to do an impression of a lawyer
241
00:12:57,740 --> 00:13:01,739
you once saw on the television and make
your case as simply as you possibly can.
242
00:13:03,220 --> 00:13:07,179
Wise words, my learned lud.
243
00:13:07,180 --> 00:13:11,179
Victoria, you've spoken
about the real me,
244
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:15,259
and I think it's time we heard
a little about the real you.
245
00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:16,939
Isn't it true, that you...
246
00:13:16,940 --> 00:13:20,939
Used to be a man?
247
00:13:22,340 --> 00:13:23,699
No.
248
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:25,419
It isn't true, you say?
249
00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:27,139
It is untrue.
250
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:31,139
Who am I thinking of?
251
00:13:31,540 --> 00:13:35,539
I think you mean April, the
woman you had a fight with.
252
00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:40,859
No further questions, my lud.
253
00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:43,939
What? Your entire case rested on that?
254
00:13:43,940 --> 00:13:45,619
Yes, your Honour.
255
00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:47,419
Yes, your Honour. No, wait, Mr
Reynholm, you can't leave it at that.
256
00:13:47,420 --> 00:13:51,419
Your Honour, may I confer with my
relationship manager? What's up, Jen?
257
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:55,739
You've got to request more time
to prepare a proper defence.
258
00:13:55,740 --> 00:13:58,739
Your Grace, may I approach the bench?
259
00:13:58,740 --> 00:14:00,379
Have you brushed your teeth?
260
00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:01,179
No.
261
00:14:01,180 --> 00:14:03,659
No. Then you may not.
262
00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:05,939
Your Grace,
263
00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:09,099
I need to prepare a proper defence.
264
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:13,099
The one I just did there was rubbish.
265
00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:17,979
Yes, he's some piece of work.
266
00:14:17,980 --> 00:14:21,299
We're all very happy
at Reynholm Industries.
267
00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:23,539
Are you telling the truth?
268
00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:24,819
Yes.
269
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:27,059
Then why are you
so ill-at-ease?
270
00:14:27,060 --> 00:14:29,299
Well...
271
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:32,659
If you must know... I was in
a court myself very recently...
272
00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:35,099
This very courtroom in fact,
273
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:39,099
where I gave testimony
against a former soldier who...
274
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:44,579
I was having a massage and he
kissed me on my bottom, Your Honour.
275
00:14:44,620 --> 00:14:47,299
I see.
276
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:49,739
I'm sure you can
understand my discomfort.
277
00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:52,099
Are you all right? Can you continue?
278
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,419
I can continue. Thank you.
279
00:14:54,420 --> 00:14:58,419
The way you tell it, your employer
sounds like a paragon of virtue.
280
00:14:59,820 --> 00:15:02,899
That's right. And
furthermore, I would like
281
00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:06,899
to say at this point that I think
this whole case to be a damp squid.
282
00:15:06,980 --> 00:15:09,819
Thank you, no further questions.
283
00:15:09,820 --> 00:15:12,339
Oooh! I have one more
question, your Honour.
284
00:15:12,340 --> 00:15:13,899
Yes?
285
00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:17,659
What did you say?
286
00:15:17,660 --> 00:15:18,699
What?
287
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,819
What did you say the case was?
May I have it read back please?
288
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:25,019
"I believe this entire case
to be a bit of a damp squid."
289
00:15:25,020 --> 00:15:27,379
"A damp squid?"
290
00:15:27,380 --> 00:15:29,259
What does that mean?
291
00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:32,899
Oh, Jen, it's an expression.
292
00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:35,459
It means that I believe
293
00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:38,659
that everything that's been said
in this case, everyone already knew.
294
00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:40,659
Yes, but did you say "damp squid"?
295
00:15:40,660 --> 00:15:42,139
That's right.
296
00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:44,819
Did you not mean, "damp squib"?
297
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:48,059
No, it's "squid".
298
00:15:48,060 --> 00:15:50,699
What's a squib?
299
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:53,499
It's not "squid".
Squids are already damp!
300
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:56,179
Hence the phrase!
301
00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:57,459
Your Honour! Please!
302
00:15:57,460 --> 00:15:59,019
It is "squib".
303
00:15:59,020 --> 00:16:02,419
I must say, I find it extraordinary
that you, a man in your early 30s,
304
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:06,419
could have reached this point in your
life without knowing that it is "squib".
305
00:16:08,820 --> 00:16:10,059
I think it's "squid".
306
00:16:10,060 --> 00:16:11,619
I have no further questions.
307
00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:12,739
No, no, no, wait, wait, wait!
308
00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:13,459
That will be all.
309
00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:14,739
Everyone has a blind spot!
310
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:18,739
I said that will be all!
311
00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:25,219
Your name is Maurice Moss, is it not?
312
00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:35,419
Your name is Maurice Moss, is it not?
313
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:40,899
Sorry, bit nervous... So... Yeah...
314
00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:43,659
Fizzy! It's very fizzy.
315
00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:45,539
It's fizzy. Gone fizzy.
316
00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:48,819
Ow, come on!
317
00:16:48,820 --> 00:16:51,379
That's electric. That's
electric in there.
318
00:16:51,380 --> 00:16:54,139
Just got a shock.
319
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:56,819
Your name is Maurice Moss, is it not?
320
00:16:56,820 --> 00:16:58,739
It is not.
321
00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:02,659
Sorry, yeah, sorry, sorry.
322
00:17:02,660 --> 00:17:05,099
My mother sued me.
323
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:07,539
Relax. Take your time.
324
00:17:07,540 --> 00:17:10,619
Try to answer the questions
as clearly as you can.
325
00:17:10,620 --> 00:17:14,619
Thank you, my love.
326
00:17:22,060 --> 00:17:26,059
Your name is Maurice Moss, is it not?
327
00:17:27,340 --> 00:17:31,339
Chair. It was the chair's fault.
328
00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:57,579
No further questions, my lud.
329
00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:38,419
Don't you have anything?
330
00:18:38,420 --> 00:18:41,899
She's going to take you to
the cleaners, Mr. Reynholm.
331
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:45,899
Yup, I suppose she will.
332
00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:54,979
What's that?
333
00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:57,499
Oh, God.
334
00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:01,499
I think I may have found our miracle.
335
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:06,499
Can you state your full name, please?
336
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:10,499
Richmond Felicity Avenal.
337
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:17,019
And you worked at Reynholm
Industries for a time?
338
00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:18,499
I did, for over four years.
339
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:19,779
And what did you do?
340
00:19:19,780 --> 00:19:22,699
I don't know.
341
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:23,899
Why did you leave?
342
00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:27,259
Well, my life wasn't really going
anywhere. I was part of the whole
343
00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:30,979
goth/ death metal subculture
but it wasn't making me happy.
344
00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:33,259
It was all a bit gloomy.
345
00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:37,259
It was round about that
point that I developed scurvy.
346
00:19:37,820 --> 00:19:40,179
Now that sounds unpleasant.
347
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:43,979
On the contrary. Catching scurvy was
the best thing that ever happened to me.
348
00:19:43,980 --> 00:19:46,059
It made me take a long
hard look in the mirror.
349
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:48,499
And I didn't like what I
saw, I can tell you that.
350
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:51,299
Not just because my
teeth had fallen out.
351
00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:54,619
Which is why I founded From Goth2Boss.
352
00:19:54,620 --> 00:19:56,779
Is it okay if I play a DVD?
353
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:59,579
Does it have anything
whatsoever to do with this case?
354
00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:01,419
Not really, Your Honour.
355
00:20:01,420 --> 00:20:03,419
Then you may proceed.
356
00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:05,499
Where are you going? Is it to the top?
357
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,059
If not, why not?
358
00:20:07,060 --> 00:20:09,819
Go to the bloody top! Is
it because you're a goth?
359
00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:13,339
Did you know that goths have some of
the lowest life satisfaction levels
360
00:20:13,340 --> 00:20:16,299
of any subculture with the
exception of traffic wardens?
361
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:18,419
That's why you don't see
any goth traffic wardens.
362
00:20:18,420 --> 00:20:20,299
That would be a deadly combination!
363
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:24,299
We at Goth2Boss work with goths
at various locations around the UK
364
00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:26,339
to bring out their hidden potential...
365
00:20:26,340 --> 00:20:30,259
by encouraging them to engage
in everyday, healthy pursuits
366
00:20:30,260 --> 00:20:32,899
such as sports.
367
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:35,019
Mixing with other humans.
368
00:20:35,020 --> 00:20:37,579
Extended laughter sessions.
369
00:20:37,580 --> 00:20:40,379
Introducing colour to your wardrobe.
370
00:20:40,380 --> 00:20:42,619
Just look at these results.
This is Debbie. She used to
371
00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:45,339
hang around railway stations
with her hands in her sleeves.
372
00:20:45,340 --> 00:20:47,579
Now she's a lifeguard in Mumbai!
373
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,819
From Goth2Boss, you know it makes
sense. Unless you're not a goth,
374
00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:53,779
in which case, from
Goth2Boss. Remember the name.
375
00:20:53,780 --> 00:20:55,659
But what does that have to do with
376
00:20:55,660 --> 00:20:57,979
my divorce proceedings, m'kind fellow?
377
00:20:57,980 --> 00:21:00,419
Well, Mr. Reynholm, I'm here
to tell you that that woman
378
00:21:00,420 --> 00:21:04,419
is not Victoria Reynholm!
379
00:21:05,820 --> 00:21:07,499
Her name is Melanie Crawford,
380
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:10,739
a former From Goth2Boss pupil of mine!
381
00:21:10,740 --> 00:21:14,739
Sing, you canary!
382
00:21:16,260 --> 00:21:20,259
Well, during our sessions, she seemed
more interested in you than getting better.
383
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:24,219
I don't think she ever truly
exorcised the goth within.
384
00:21:24,220 --> 00:21:26,299
Scratch away that fake tan
385
00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:30,299
and beneath you'll find
the purest white foundation!
386
00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:35,699
Yeah, that was more of
a phrase than anything.
387
00:21:35,700 --> 00:21:39,699
Oh, actually... No
sorry, that's not her!
388
00:21:40,860 --> 00:21:44,859
Oh, sorry about that. That's not her.
389
00:21:46,660 --> 00:21:49,139
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
390
00:21:49,140 --> 00:21:53,139
You've heard a few things over the
past few days, none of which cast me
391
00:21:54,220 --> 00:21:56,339
in a particularly favourable light.
392
00:21:56,340 --> 00:22:00,339
Stories of expensive sex tapes,
rumours of me killing my first wife.
393
00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:05,099
No. No-one's mentioned that.
394
00:22:08,220 --> 00:22:11,859
You know, there's one
thing I do want to say.
395
00:22:11,860 --> 00:22:15,859
Just one thing, that I...
396
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:25,739
Mr. Reynholm?
397
00:22:25,740 --> 00:22:29,019
Mr. Reynholm, please.
398
00:22:29,020 --> 00:22:33,019
Mr. Reynholm, this really is the most
pathetic display I have ever seen.
399
00:22:35,140 --> 00:22:36,979
May I say something, your Honour?
400
00:22:36,980 --> 00:22:38,019
Why not?
401
00:22:38,020 --> 00:22:40,779
Lying here,
402
00:22:40,780 --> 00:22:44,779
pretending to have a heart
attack, you see a desperate man.
403
00:22:45,580 --> 00:22:47,019
Not pretending.
404
00:22:47,020 --> 00:22:50,859
Not pretending. A man who has exhausted
all of his time, all of his resources,
405
00:22:50,860 --> 00:22:54,859
on an expensive trial that
has resulted in humiliation.
406
00:22:58,540 --> 00:23:02,539
But think not of him. Think of the
employees of Reynholm Industries.
407
00:23:03,060 --> 00:23:05,779
Think of the man who
was sued by his mother.
408
00:23:05,780 --> 00:23:09,779
The simpleton who thought the
phrase "damp squid" was correct.
409
00:23:11,180 --> 00:23:15,179
These are the people I want you to
consider when making your judgement.
410
00:23:17,460 --> 00:23:21,459
For Reynholm is not just the
name of this ridiculous man
411
00:23:22,380 --> 00:23:26,259
who keeps opening his eyes
whenever he thinks no-one's looking.
412
00:23:26,260 --> 00:23:30,259
Reynholm is the name of the family
his employees have found in each other.
413
00:23:33,460 --> 00:23:37,339
We are all Reynholms.
414
00:23:37,340 --> 00:23:40,219
Hurt him, and you hurt...
415
00:23:40,220 --> 00:23:41,819
Oh, all right then,
we'll take 70 million.
416
00:23:41,820 --> 00:23:43,819
Hooray!
417
00:23:46,860 --> 00:23:48,859
I'm getting oak.
418
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:12,000
Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
30241
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Uighur
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof