Original subtitles

Aaah!

Oh, my God!

Yes!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello! Hello, thank you and welcome to Taskmaster

with me, your host and trophy model, Greg Davies. The premise is simple.

'Comedians tackle tasks, I give them points for how well I think they did, and we all laugh at them.

At the end of the final episode,

the person with the most points will win this ohhhh-so-beautiful trophy.

It's OK. It's not too bad.

'It's fine. Fine. So, without further ado, let's meet the prospective future owners.

Please welcome Aisling Bea!

Bob Mortimer!

Mark Watson!

Nish Kumar!

And Sally Phillips!

And, well I never, if it isn't my extremely dependent adjudicator,

it's Alex Horne!

'What's new with you, Alex? I've had my elocution lessons this week. Have you? They didn't go well.

'I get on well with my teacher. I've now got a beautiful singing voice. Have you? And I can do any accent.

Oh, OK.

'Um... With a slight... I can only do one word in that accent. The word egg I can do in any accent. OK.

Ready. Icelandic. Egg. No.

You've fallen at the first hurdle.

'I thought it was pretty good. Also, if you say the word "salivate" or even think it,

it makes you salivate. Oh, yeah!

That's nice, isn't it? Salivate. I almost drowned myself!

'Shall we start with the task? God, yeah. The prize is the thing they're actually proudest of.

'The person you think should be proudest of their thing will get a full five points from you.

'At the end, the person with the most points will go home proudly with five proud items. Wonderful.

'So, let's crack on. Bob? I've brought a lung inflation testing pipe.

Ah. I had a serious operation and they deflated my lungs.

'To get them re-inflated over six months, you have to blow into this thing. I think you suck, actually.

'Quite an important difference. And that was my life for six months. You have to get it

from nought to five and then a little smiley face appears.

'The day I got the smiley face activated was the proudest day of my life. It's called a spirometer.

That's it. What a prize!

'Thanks, Bob. I can understand why you're proud and it's a very heartwarming story behind it

in that you're alive. Yes.

'Aisling? One of the most proud moments of my career was when I wrestled a professional wrestler

in Edinburgh. We can see you punching around here.

Yeah, there's me! So what's the prize?

The prize is my cape. That is 12 Irish flags,

which people in Britain can use to get EU citizenship.

When Brexit comes in. There it is.

You've sold that very well, no doubt about it.

'Sally? Well, I have changed the world, Greg. I collaborated with an Icelandic lawyer

'and I was mentioned in the Icelandic parliament, the "Althing-a Icelanding-a".

Made up. 100% made up. Yeah!

'And they formed a new committee to rethink how women are treated in pregnancy.

Wow! Based on your work? Based on my work, yes.

That's what they can actually win. The picture of you... Of me.

It's arguably all about the actual prize that you've brought in.

'The story behind it is worthy... I didn't think it through. ..and fascinating.

'I just thought, "What are you most proud of?" I didn't think, "Lie creatively."

LAUGHTER Em...Nish?

What have you brought? The only physical achievement I've ever had

was I won a cricket trophy when I was 11. I used to play club cricket

'and they'd give out awards - Batsman of the Year, Bowler of the Year. And then the award that I won,

an award called Clubman of the Year,

'which I subsequently found out was presented to the boy who'd shown the most enthusiasm

in the face of, and I quote, "an overwhelming lack of ability".

LAUGHTER

'I'm genuinely proud of it. I'm so physically incapable. That will get you a point, mate.

I relate to that because... of how I look.

'I went jogging the other day and the man in my local cafe came out into the street, pulled me in

'and said, "Me and some of the locals have been chatting. We don't think you should run."

'Mark? It's the Mastermind trophy. I was on Mastermind. See it up there.

'Celebrity Mastermind or real Mastermind? Not real Mastermind. It's really hard.

This was stuff like, "What sort of animal does a moo?"

A cow! A cow!

I mean... Thank Christ I wasn't up against Nish!

Right, Greg, you've got to score it. Nish, obviously last.

Oh, come on! That's a rubbish trophy and I can't soft soap you.

'You've got to start facing up to life. Mark, I'm going to put you next.

'Aisling, you're in third because you were defending your own nation. Sally,

'I'll be honest. I think you've never done human rights work, but I have to give you the benefit of the doubt,

so I don't look bad on television. I'll put you second.

Obviously, Bob's still alive and we all celebrate that.

Alex, it feels like task time. Yes. A classic game of ping pong.

I love ping pong. We do. WE love it.

Back in the lab!

Well, well, well. What have we here?

A big old robot dick!

This looks like my kind of task.

You like drainpipes? I love drainpipes.

Right, sorry. Pardon me. I was overcome by the conical shape.

"Remove the table tennis ball from the pipe. The pipe must not move."

What table tennis ball? It's in the pipe!

"Fastest wins. Your time starts now."

Oh, Jesus. OK.

'From big old robot dicks to the rules. OK. The rules are quite simple.

They have to get the ball from within the big old robot tube...

LAUGHTER

..and they were allowed to touch...it,

'but they weren't allowed to move it. Touch, don't move. The traditional rules of this game.

'Touch, don't move. She was the last to realise where the ball was, so we start with Aisling.

Remember, touch, don't move. Remember that. Touch, don't move.

OK, so these drinks are drinkable? Yes.

Yeah.

I'm gonna pour...

Oh.

It comes out there. Right. Is this doable? Did anyone check?

OK, we'll have that to go in there.

I'll keep using the juice.

That's not great.

OK.

Going to have to send down some...

Just thought of a better idea. Plug it with the task.

'Wait now... Am I allowed to move the tray? As long as the pipe doesn't move. Oh...

It looks like it's moving. No? It's still stuck to the tray.

I know. It'll be bloody brilliant.

You're definitely not moving the pipe? No! And then...

I think you've blocked it.

I have bloody blocked it!

Yeah! Stop the clock!

It did move a bit.

LAUGHTER I know!

So, in summary, Aisling entered the room, she got pissed,

'she put some paper down the tube and flagrantly ignored the rules and turned the tube upside down.

'Yes. Do I get a point? If a bird is in a tree and the tree is chopped down,

'the woodsman has moved the bird. You're directly quoting from my chest tattoo.

I appreciate that.

'We're done with that part, ladies and gentlemen. We'll see you in a few minutes for the next part.

'Welcome back to Taskmaster. Alex, can you please give us a lovely, lovely little update?

'OK. As some viewers might remember, I lost your only table tennis ball down a drainpipe on a food tray.

'Typical me. Aisling has demonstrated that the tube has holes so water comes out.

'We presumed people would notice the holes and not just pour in, but do you want to see Nish andMark?

'I'm not sure I like the way that was framed. Ready? Yeah, let's see these pricks.

This is a sucking task, isn't it?

(Between you and me, how do you do this? I want to find out.)

Watson's the brain.

Ah, that's interesting. Holes, of course.

Could I stop these holes up?

It doesn't say I'm limited to the liquid in here. No.

Shame about those holes.

If I can do it within the hour...

'Now we're getting somewhere. Some holes have been blocked. ..It's really coming out now!

Oh, God. It's not...

The paper was not an ideal blocking agent.

Does anyone have any tape? I expect so.

Ah, Christ...

Quite a lot of leakage, but the principle works.

Is there clingfilm? There's a kitchen. Holy shit!

Ah? Ah?

Is clingfilm waterproof?

No!

Aah!

This is my Everest.

That must be enough, surely to Christ.

Right.

There!

Well done, Mark.

I hope nothing like that ever happens again.

The water's staying in! Come on, you piece of crap! Yes!

Yes!

'Well, Mark... There's genuinely not a day that goes by that I don't think about it.

'What I love about Mark's attempt, and Mark's an educated man who's written more than one novel,

'and your instinct was not that the holes were the problem, but there wasn't enough liquid.

Presumably, your gameplan was to overwhelm the holes.

'My gameplan for life is to overwhelm the holes. We will not be overwhelmed!

How long did it take? 23 minutes and 10 seconds. Whoa!

'How long did I do it for, Horney? Well, half of the film Phone Booth. You know the Colin Farrell film?

It's a short film. He'd got out of the booth when you got the ball out.

So how long? 44 minutes and 22 seconds.

I mean, that is...

After half an hour, you shouted, "God, it's like a bassoon!"

Who's next?

Next up, it's Bob Mortimer.

I need to get higher.

'That's handy. There's a lovely little old lady out there selling stools.

Oh, it's down the bottom!

Incredibly fortunately, the little old lady that was selling stools,

her husband sells ear protectors, but sadly doesn't open them for you.

Know what I mean? That's my catchphrase. Know what I mean?

Do you know what I mean? Yes.

'Have you ever had a catchphrase, Alex? No, I'm not allowed one. Why not? The wife?

No, the Taskmaster.

I got so, so lucky.

'The old guy and his wife had a son who was collecting for daft kids, kids that are a bit daft.

You can say that. Yeah. Daft lads.

And he's selling this tape.

Anyone expecting a ball to appear?

Oh, fuck off! That was a shitty moment.

'Really, Geoffrey. That could be another catchphrase. Know what I mean?

'I'm quite pleased with myself, but few of the others will spend as much for charity as I did.

Thank you. There's your ball.

'But what was his time? He said he left one hole open in case it needed to breathe.

Then it took him 8 minutes and 13 seconds. Not so bad.

Impressive. A hell of a performance, Bob.

Thank you. Measured and I loved the presentation of the ball.

It's important. It's part of it.

Nestled on the conical flask.

'Whenever I go to the GP about my prostate, he always says how nicely I present my balls.

'It's a she, actually, and I do go too often, but you can never be too careful.

Incredible, Bob. Want to see the other grown-up?

Yeah, let's see Sally. OK.

'I'm quite short, so I need to see where it is. I can get you something to perch on.

Thank you.

Here.

Interesting. I saw a funnel.

That doesn't fit.

'Know what the definition of stupidity is? To just keep on doing the same thing.

Welcome to my world! Hang on a cotton-picking minute.

This is like Kerplunk. Like reverse Kerplunk.

Hmm. Hoover. Sorry. You want me to get you the Hoover? Yeah!

Thank you, Sally!

And you...poured the liquid perfectly well into the tube.

Then you went and sourced a funnel.

We've all been there. This is one of my horror ones.

A horror one?! It took me three quarters of an hour!

'My favourite part of the whole thing was when you made Hoover to ball contact.

And your eyes, in an imperceptible movement, did this.

Hell of a performance. Was it, timing-wise?

'She took the same amount of time as a man called Megatoad ate 12 cans of sweetcorn last year.

It was in New Zealand. It was amazing. Just under 13 minutes.

Oh! 12 cans of sweetcorn.

The whole can. The whole can.

'So Sally came second, Mark third, Nish got two points because Aisling was disqualified... What?!

..but Bob gets five points!

'What's the scoreboard looking like, Alex? Somebody's got a maximum after two tasks.

That is Mr Bob Mortimer. So the scoreboard looks like this.

It's a familiar pattern!

'Next, please. This one is like the word commerce. It really means business.

Hi.

How's it going? Good, thanks, Nish.

Hello, Bob. I assume I open the box?

Is this a trick with the locks? ..No.

A coconut. The largest of all the nuts.

The task is presumably in here.

'I don't know. Something's in here. Not immediately clear how to open this. I don't own a briefcase.

If you want to work with that, you'd be sacked immediately.

'I imagine you'd press these things down and it slips open. I don't know how to open it.

"Make this coconut look like..."

"Make this coconut look like a businessman."

Hang on... No.

'Does it have to be a businessMAN? Or for once can we open up the idea and call it a businessperson?

Interpret it however you like. I will interpret it as sexist.

"You have 10 minutes to plan this and then 10 minutes to make him."

"Your time starts...now."

Ah! There you go. Cool. Right, we're in.

Now the task. Oh, it's a coconut.

'Want to know how long it took him...? That's obviously my first question.

'It took him six minutes to crack the code. The code was 000 and it was on 000.

I accept, looking at the other people, that it was openable.

'Bob asked us to leave him alone in his dressing room. He was probably shy.

'Go on. We left him in his room. He asked for some pens and some other fruit

and he asked to film it himself on his mobile phone. To be clear,

'the task is to make the coconut look like a businessman. Right. Let's go.

Hello. I'm Mary Downbyyourside and I'm a lathe operator.

Hello, there.

I'm Slow Peter and I paint prison gates.

And I'm a fucking businessman.

Did you like it?

I mean, I liked it... Did that coconut look like...?

Show me the video again and let me re-voice it.

Hello. I'm Barbara and I like horses.

My name is Quentin and I enjoy ballet.

'And I'm Morgan and I don't think women should be allowed to breastfeed in public.

'You see my point? I do see your point. He just looks like a coconut character.

'It looks like an angry coconut. I thought maybe if he said he was a businessman,

you know, that would get me over that hurdle. There you go.

'Hit the pause button, grab a drink and then fast forward the ads and join us back here for part three.

Hello. Welcome to part three. Alex? OK, let's do this.

'Our contestants have been trying to make coconuts look like businessmen. Up next is Aisling Bea.Yes.

Also asked for equipment. We can see your businessperson now.

'It's interesting, Aisling. You made a very valid point about the sexist nature of the task. Yes.

But the first thing I noticed was the cracking pair of boobs.

You absolute pig, Greg. It reflects very badly on me.

Then this one is for you. This is a coconut businesslady.

She's not afraid to have an outfit that makes the most of her figure.

She's wearing red lipstick to draw the male attention to fire them.

'She's also got loads of coconut water around her, which is, yes, her own blood, as she's a coconut.

'And then, at gunpoint, she's forcing three subservient male businessmen to drink her own blood

during a general meeting at the office.

And that, sir, is my businessperson.

We can zoom in slightly on her face. Face, please, Alex.

You said she was 58 and an app creator. An app creator, yes. 58?

She's taking her time. That's why she's got so much hair on her face.

'Well, she's a furry-faced delight. Thank you. You used to call me that. I did.

Until I came to despise you. And who's next?

So, Mark, do you want to explain what you did?

'I thought I probably won't be that good at making it physically look like a businessman,

'so instead I'd make it look to the world like a businessman by founding a business for it.

'Over the 20 minutes, I set it up on Twitter and Facebook as a sort of answering service.

We can see it here. Have a look. Here he is.

'My thinking was that a lot of business is virtual and anyone can claim to be a businessman or woman

'by having an online presence. So I spent 20 minutes establishing as big an online presence as I could.

I've since gone on to register the coconut at Companies House.

Yeah. And we can see the certificate. It has been certified.

Right.

'Is the coconut talking to you? There are people who claim he doesn't...

I know what I hear.

Who's next? OK...

'Sally Phillips, who again asked for bits and bobs and she made this businessman.

Whoa! That business is doing so well!

Is that a tiny Oyster card in his hand?

'It is. He is not a very successful businessman if he's getting the Tube.

'Sally was the only one who shaved it. She spent over half the time shaving it, then covered itup.

How long did you spend shaving a coconut? 11 minutes.

11 minutes?!

It doesn't look like a businessman. It looks like a mad owl.

I thought it was quite good. I know you did.

He's got an identity badge and a tie.

Is that a tiny picture of a coconut on his identity badge?

He's an interesting businessman. Let's see if Nish Kumar can do worse.

This is the task that Nish laughed most at whilst doing.

Jesus! And then he came out of the house looking like this.

APPRENTICE-LIKE THEME MUSIC

Hello!

I'm the coconut businessman.

Off to do another day of lovely business.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Is that the face of a man who won't come last for once?

He's a businessman from the southern states of America, Greg!

'Another day of lovely business, wearing my tie made of English money.

'Yeah, we stapled the money to the tie. Well, you stapled the money. I did staple the money to the tie!

I think there was £140 on the tie.

'Where do you want to start? Right at the bottom. I very much enjoyed the determination

in Bob's coconut's eyes, but he did not look like a businessman.

Sally, yours was like something from an awful nightmare.

Awful, weird, mini owl.

'Aisling, I thought... No! Come on, that was strong. No! That was so strong.

Very strong. I don't accept your first offer. I have to negotiate.

'I'm only putting you in third place because I don't think going into a meeting with a gun is goodpolicy.

'Oh, God. We're a very non-violent show, but I very much enjoyed her, apart from the threat of death.

Em, Mark, you didn't particularly make it look like a businessman.

You gave him a bow tie that was as big as his head,

but by creating an actual business, he looks like a businessman.

And Nish Kumar, just from sheer audience reaction,

I couldn't not give your tiny-headed businessman full points.

OK, here's the next task.

Too agonising, these long walks!

Hello, Aisling. Hi, Alex.

So three tasks...?

'Nish, there are three items on that table and three tasks. I see them. Three tasks, three items.

You can open them in any order. OK.

You will be opening all three. Then I won't overthink that part.

Go central. We always go for the left.

Right to left, Arabic-style. Hmm, intriguing.

Nish, if you don't mind me saying, you're an absolute dreamboat.

It was a hot day to be wearing a full suit. Tell me about it!

As you saw, there are three tasks and three items on the table.

It's up to them how they did it. We'll look at Bob and Aisling first.

Standing behind this rope, throw one item into the bucket.

'You may retrieve the item if it misses, but you must be stood behind the rope on every throw.

You may not move the rope or the bucket. Fastest wins.

'Your time started when you opened the first task and ends when you have completed all three tasks.

I'm going to go for the Weetabix.

I'm trying not to show how incredibly pleased I am by that!

Eat one item. Fastest wins.

All right?

Eat one item.

Fastest time wins.

SPEAKING WITH MOUTH FULL

I really should have eaten this.

Get in!

Balance one item - aaargh! - on top of the red pole.

The item must stay balanced until the entire task is completed.

You may not take the pole out of the ground. The fastest wins.

You said balance.

So there you are. Thank you, Bob.

I've stopped the clock.

LAUGHTER

Thanks, Aisling. Thank you, Alex.

'That's the saddest thing I've ever seen. A long day at the office. I'd love to know how long ittook

between the words "eat one item" and you getting that in your mouth.

Less than a tenth of a second. You heard "eat" and ate!

'A Weetabix. If I'd gone like this with the paper, Id have seen a twiglet.

No, no, no, no, no. It was awful. Olympic eating. It was impressive.

That Weetabix throw. You get lucky.

Was it lucky or something else?

It's not something I do, throw Weetabix in buckets. I got lucky.

You ate the Weetabix. The world record, you're probably wondering.

The Viking from New Zealand ate a dry Weetabix in 2.17 seconds.

He swallowed it, then. Whole thing.

'Aisling scored four minutes and 30 seconds. That's respectable, I think.

'Bob, there is no world record for eating twiglets quickly, so you are the world record holder.

Thank you. But very slow at mounting the table. Four minutes.

Two and a half to get on the table.

Brilliant throwing, too fucked to get on a table.

'But he is in the lead. He is. Those two opened them one by one. Nish and Mark had a different tactic.

Balance one item on top of the red pole. Eat one item. Fastest wins.

'Your time started when you opened the first task. OK, I'll check the other tasks first.

'Standing behind this rope... ..throw one item into the bucket. Where's the rope? Oh, yeah.

Eat one item. OK. Balance one item on the red pole.

So eat one, throw one, balance one on top there.

Will this balance on here? Surely possible.

Let's try throwing the Weetabix. No.

Go with this as well. Ooh!

I'll continue throwing both.

No...

No.

Underarm. Oh!

No wind. In! That's in. The twiglet is in.

That was a measurer.

Ah! Disintegrated! It's all got to go in the bucket.

It's disintegrated.

Some of it's in. Percentage? I'm going to go five.

Oh, Jesus.

I've had a bit of a fit of rage.

Weetabix is compromised. I hate this show.

This goes here.

And that, I think, is that.

Get up.

Stop!

Finished?

'It's a shame. I was going to give you an extra bonus point for the style of the jelly throw,

but I've taken it away cos you pushed my table over.

The anger had got the best of me. It was quite a hot day.

'There were quite a lot of people watching and openly laughing and shouting,

"Look at that man. He's terrible."

'It's interesting how quickly you can remove any hint of film star cool by getting someone

to chuck a Weetabix into a bin.

'Mark opened them all at once, planned it, still slower than Bob. Four minutes 20. Bob in the lead,

'then Mark, then Aisling. But did you see Mark's joyful face when he was eating that jelly?

'It was... I've never seen a happier man! Anyone who didn't eat that was missing an absolute treat.

We're stopping now for a break. See you soon for part four,

'where we'll find out who'll take Bob Mortimer's breathing apparatus home.

Hello. Part four is here. We are neck-deep in task. We are.

'Neck-deep in three tasks. We've seen everyone except Sally Phillips from Bridget Jones The Edge Of Reason.

Here she is.

'Are you going to move the table? Yeah. Like me to help? Let me know when it's close enough.

Weetabix.

OK, that's on.

You finished the twiglet? Yeah. Gone.

CHEERING

Oh, my God!

'That was iconic! Unbelievable. You could feel it in the room. "She can't throw the jelly!"

Absolutely incredible performance from Phillips. And the time...

'It looked like breakfast. I have three children. That's how we feed them.

She was half the time of anyone else. Two minutes one second.

Unbelievable.

'Nish failed to get any points, then it was Aisling with two points, Mark with three,

Bob with four, Sally with five points!

'And I should think that would be a scoreboard update time. I'm going to tell you the series scores.

'I won't say what Aisling and Nish have got, but they're at the back of the race at the moment.

'11 points behind the leader. Thanks to that task, Bob and Sally are both on 49.

Pretty close.

'And those scores are quite accurately reflected in the current scoreboard of this one.

'Aisling and Nish at the back, Bob and Sally at the front. They look like this.

All to play for, as they say.

'OK, everybody, please vacate your seats and make your way to the stage for the final task of the show!

Well, I mean, self-explanatory.

Who will read the task out for us? Mark Watson. Ah, lovely.

You heron-like man. Every day he likens me to a heron.

LAUGHTER

Play table tennis with words. When the ball is within striking distance

you must say a word while pretending to hit the ball with your bat.

That word must begin with the last letter of the previous word.

AUDIENCE "Oooh!"

'"Oooh!" is right. If you fail to say a word within the time it would take you to hit a ball, you are out.

After saying a word, you must run to the back of the opposite queue.

'Alex will serve the first word to the youngest contestant. Last player standing wins.

So just to run through it, we'll have a practice go. I serve to Nish.

He'll strike it and say a word.

Definitely. So you now run behind me to the back of that queue.

Your word must start with Y. Er, Yosemite.

LAUGHTER

As long as Greg judges it as a word... It's a word. ..you're fine.

So this would be... Eating.

And... Grass. You can put spin on it and run round to the back.

Septic. Is lovely. Christian. OK, so we see how it works.

First out gets one point, last out gets five. OK.

Let's play. Good luck. I'm serving a word to the youngest player, Nish.

Taskmaster.

Regret!

Table!

Elephant! Tom!

Maybe! Ecclesiastical!

Loser!

Radish!

Hat!

Ah...

Oh, and that wasn't a word.

I just wanted to make sure that wasn't a word used in Iceland.

Sally, you receive one point.

Nish, you receive the word hat right now.

Terrible! Egg!

Greenland! Doberman!

N-n-n-n-n-o!

On!

What?! On. On.

Nougat!

Theatre!

Theatre. Excellent!

Teriyaki!

Iceland! Daft!

Terrible! Excellent!

We've had excellent. We have had excellent.

'Are you not allowed to repeat? If you can, it might never end, but we didn't say it.

You didn't say it. From now on, you're not allowed to repeat words.

You two stand there. We're going to kick off again.

I'll serve a word to Bob of my choice. Phoenix.

Uh.

'That is very mean. I'm serving to Aisling. There's only two at this end.

Speedboat. Tank!

Kiss!

Septic! Er...

Er...

We've had septic. Can't have it.

The losers. Well, well, well.

Nish Kumar, as I live and breathe. I always knew it would end this way.

Kumar. Rrrrr...obot!

Oh, shit! Torture!

Eccles...iastical. I've said it already!

Aaaargh!

Yes! Yes!

'Very powerful performance there. We have a winner. Let's see how that affects the overall score.

Nail-biting athleticism and word...smithery!

I was going to say that. It was exciting, wasn't it? Really.

Do you use phoenix a lot?

I could imagine you feel a little cheated.

'Well, I'm so sorry, but the more you play the game, the more you'll be prepared for phoenix.

Aisling won the task. Congratulations. Thank you.

'Alex, tell me about the scores. Despite that heroic performance from Aisling and Nish,

they remain fourth and fifth.

'He came second last, he couldn't cope with phoenix, but he has won this week's show with 17 points,

Bob Mortimer!

APPLAUSE Well!

'Which is the rightful outcome in that, you know, Bob needs that pipe to survive.

The others are happy.

You take your mucus home with you, Bob. You are the winner

'and proud owner of loads of stuff you should be really proud of. Please go and get your prizes!

Alex? Mm-hm?

Salivate.

GROANS

'Incredible. So what have we learnt? If you want to see a man running quickly, take a look at Usain Bolt.

If you want to witness a tennis pro, look at Serena Williams.

'But if you want to see someone chuck a jelly into a bucket, call Sally Phillips!

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's winner is Mr Bob Mortimer!

CHEERING We'll see you next time! Good night!

Subtitles by Ericsson