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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:07,040 Congratulations. You've managed to break the world record for cavities. 2 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:11,680 Oh, dear! No, save "Oh, dear" for the bill. Brigitte! 3 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:18,720 Oh, lovely! New hat? My feet are killing me. From lack of use, no doubt. A hand, please. 4 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:26,760 Improving your posture takes the stress off your feet. So does lying in the gutter after being fired. 5 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:34,760 West African women carry 80 kilos on their head and never need orthopaedic shoes. Don't encourage her. Ever! 6 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:38,960 Is he an anthropologist? No, foot fetishist. 7 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:46,520 Do you know where I can get a bargain on Capezio tap shoes? This is a dental surgery, not Dolcis! 8 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:54,080 He's been very tense all morning. No, I've been very tense since you applied for this job. Coincidence? 9 00:00:54,080 --> 00:01:01,880 Note the veins throbbing in his head. See? That's stress. See? That's door. Go through. Goodbye! 10 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:12,920 I'm trying to win concert tickets! Am I the only one who tidies up? 11 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,480 I think so. Janey, help me, please. 12 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:20,040 I'd love to, but the rules of the contest are very strict. 13 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:26,040 So are the rules of the house. I've got a one in 30,000 chance here! 14 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:30,280 You could win a media blackout - no radio, TV, video! 15 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:35,720 What? Dee, I've got to go. Mum's gone mad cow! Bye! Thank you. 16 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:42,920 Right! Why do I have to clean? Nick never does. I do other special things around the house. 17 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:48,960 I don't have time to clean those up. I'll act incompetent and skive off! 18 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:55,600 That's not acting! Thanks. It's sexist. It's not that men do nothing. Women do too much. 19 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,960 Besides, you enjoy cleaning. 20 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,800 I crossed the line there, didn't I? 21 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,360 Why don't I start over here? 22 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:11,880 Janey, dust the piano. What do I get for helping? My undying gratitude. 23 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:16,720 So it's a lose-lose situation. What are these doing here? 24 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:21,760 I was looking for those. The living room is not your laundry basket. 25 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:24,280 What room is? 26 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:28,240 Did you happen to find my underpants? 27 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,960 Nick! 28 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:42,720 Sorry. I fell asleep on the couch last night watching TV. 29 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:48,320 In the nude? I had my socks on. You get more and more like your father! 30 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:52,800 What's this? It's not what you think it is. 31 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:59,680 It's Viagra. OK, it is what you think it is. But it's not what you think it's for. 32 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:05,440 What is it for? It IS what you think it's for. Who's the lucky girl? 33 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,480 They're all lucky, Mum! 34 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:15,400 Have you quite finished doing your lunar whatever it is you call it? 35 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:20,440 It's a yoga position. I wish you'd try it. I'm saluting the moon. 36 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,960 So am I. 37 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:30,880 You can mock all you want, but I love the way it makes me feel. 38 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:34,920 Does it take your mind off cigarettes? It did! 39 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:47,000 What are you doing? 40 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,840 Taking the TV to my room. Why? 41 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:55,360 I want to watch telly somewhere comfortable. What about Tonga? 42 00:03:55,360 --> 00:04:00,640 Why don't you knock before you come in? I didn't want to disturb you. 43 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,760 Nick, put our television back, OK? 44 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,920 OK. 45 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:19,440 TV BLARES 46 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,320 Nick... Get out! 47 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:27,360 "Do this, do that!" Sometimes you make me feel like a complete prat! 48 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:35,480 I think we're getting through to him. Why did we have him? 49 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,040 I don't know. I was asleep. 50 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:42,080 You'll never guess what I found in his pocket today. 51 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,640 Certainly not a pay slip. Here! 52 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:47,400 What? Viagra? 53 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:51,280 You know Nick. He doesn't like to work at anything! 54 00:04:54,280 --> 00:05:00,520 Kids today! If they're not taking our tellies, they're nicking our drugs! 55 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:08,000 I'm throwing it out. Good idea. The last thing Nick's hormones need is a turbo boost! Aren't you curious 56 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,560 to see how it works? Eh? 57 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,040 No, not really. Me neither. 58 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:29,640 Although as parents, we owe it to our children to make sure what they're doing is safe. 59 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,680 Are you suggesting that I take it? 60 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:43,080 Come on! Where's your sense of adventure? At the moment tending to my bruised ego! 61 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:47,120 I had no idea it was such a touchy subject. 62 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:53,080 Excuse me! I do not need any help in that department, thank you! 63 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:58,440 I don't, do I? 64 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:03,920 I never suggested that you did. You aren't just protecting my feelings? 65 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:06,680 Why would I want to do that? 66 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,520 You're satisfied, aren't you? 67 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:13,160 Completely. Yeah. 68 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,160 Well... Good night, dear. 69 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,240 OK! 70 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:30,000 Hey, want another go? 71 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:34,520 Honestly, Ben, you don't have to prove anything to me. 72 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:39,560 All the same, get ready for the time of your life! If you're up to it. 73 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:45,760 Where are you going? To slip into something less comfortable and more sexy. 74 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,680 Oh, Harper, yes, yes, yes! 75 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:56,080 Oh! This is it, Harper. World Cup final. It's one-all and it's down to the golden goal. 76 00:06:56,080 --> 00:07:01,000 Yes! Harper towers above the defence and it's in. 77 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:07,320 It's in, it's a goal! There's people on the pitch, they think it's all over... 78 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,880 It is now! 79 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,680 Just in case we go into extra time. 80 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,400 Oh, sexy! 81 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,800 Ben... 82 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,520 My God, you're as white as a sheet! 83 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:52,440 Susan, I don't... I don't need that! It's something I probably ate. 84 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:57,680 Mr Harper, you'll be happy to know it certainly wasn't a heart attack. 85 00:08:57,680 --> 00:09:04,240 Thank God. I never thought it was. Why were you weeping and saying you loved the children? 86 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,880 You drove through three red lights! 87 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:13,440 One explanation for your sudden dizziness and blurred vision is you have hypertension. 88 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:18,960 Have you been under a lot of stress? We've both given up cigarettes. 89 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:24,080 I channel my tension through exercise. He keeps his bottled up. 90 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:29,720 I don't keep mine bottled up. Taken any medication in the last 24 hours? 91 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:36,200 Depends on how you define medication. I mean... 92 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:42,720 Anything that should be prescribed by a doctor. For me or, let's say, for anybody? 93 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,840 Are you hiding anything from me? 94 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,640 I, um... 95 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:55,000 Between you and me, I may have taken a... . 96 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,040 A what? Viagra! 97 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,600 So it was something you ate! 98 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:07,600 You needn't be ashamed. A lot of men your age... 99 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:12,640 No, it's nothing to do with age. I was under considerable pressure. 100 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:19,000 Competing with a 20-year-old! What are you laughing for? It was your idea! 101 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:24,800 How long have you been on Viagra? It was a one-off. Not even! 102 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:28,840 I doubt that your problem was caused by the Viagra. 103 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:33,200 It's more likely due to the food you eat and stress. 104 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:37,880 Yes, in our house, the food we eat is the source of stress. 105 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:45,680 How's the patient feeling this morning? 106 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:49,920 He'd feel better if he wasn't called "the patient". 107 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:57,960 Were you scared? No. See a light at the end of a tunnel? No. Can I have some concert tickets? No. Sausages! 108 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:03,320 No! We must reduce your cholesterol level. I like it where it is. 109 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:08,680 Cholesterol clogs up the arteries making your heart work twice as hard. 110 00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:15,240 People go to health clubs to give their hearts a work-out. I can do it on sausages and eggs! 111 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:19,200 What is this? What do you think it is? 112 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,320 Thanks. 113 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,200 Will you be a child about this? 114 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,240 Yes, because a child gets sausages! 115 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:33,960 What's that? A tofu smoothie. It's part of the low-salt diet the doctor recommended. 116 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:39,680 I feel like a prisoner allowed bread and water. You can't have bread. 117 00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:46,640 I didn't have a heart attack or a stroke. Leave me alone and stop making a big deal! 118 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:51,160 OK! That's fine by me. You know, it could... 119 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:58,480 It could have been a heart attack or a stroke. Do they care? No, they act as if nothing happened. 120 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:05,240 You told them to leave you alone. I've said that for years. Why listen to me now? 121 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:10,640 Would you like to know what Dave has to say? Who's Dave? He's my guru. 122 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,880 You have a guru called Dave? 123 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:18,400 He's a part-time guru. The rest of the time he's a roofer. 124 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:28,000 So what are Babar Dave's words of wisdom? "Call it cash, mate. Forget about VAT"? 125 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:32,920 He had a near-death experience, too, and it changed his life. 126 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:36,320 Yeah? He wrote a book about it. 127 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:41,040 "Live For Today Because Tomorrow You Might Fall Off A Roof. 128 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:48,760 "The collected wisdom of Dave Quinn, 129 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,320 "a roofer who fell off a roof." 130 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:58,560 He wrote it after he fell off a roof. I'm getting the picture. 131 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:03,800 Your next patient's in half an hour. I'll leave it here. Are you insane? 132 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:08,320 Fine. If you're genuinely happy with who you are... 133 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:13,720 I'm very happy with who I am. I'm ecstatic about who I am. 134 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:18,000 It's who everyone else is that depresses me. 135 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,080 Breathe in deeply. 136 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:25,280 And find your centre. 137 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:31,520 PHONE RINGS With every breath you feel yourself drifting away 138 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:34,080 from the strains of modern life. 139 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:38,760 PHONE RINGS Well, I don't. Doreen, your phone! 140 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,600 Ignore it, Susan. Just let it go. 141 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:44,360 RINGS AGAIN 142 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:48,200 STILL RINGING 143 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:52,120 A ringing phone is like an unopened present. 144 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:58,840 Then focus on the gift you have inside. Concentrate on your breaths from deep within. 145 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,480 PHONE KEEPS RINGING 146 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:10,240 Can't you just leave things be? No. Try. You can't control the universe. 147 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:14,760 I'm not trying to control the universe. Just Planet Earth! 148 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:20,840 Serenity Studio, your path to inner peace? 149 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:25,880 You've got a nerve calling me here! Did your whore throw you out? 150 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:30,920 Deep breaths! Let the universe fill your soul with positive energy. 151 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:37,480 You think so? Then I'll rip out your chakra and eat it for supper, you miserable pig! 152 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:40,520 Pig, pig, pig, pig, pig! 153 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,600 Pig! 154 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:47,320 Right, so back to our breathing, everyone. 155 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,920 Susan, thank you for the gift. 156 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,920 What's for dinner? 157 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,480 I'm not sure yet. 158 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:02,800 It's either souffle or bouillabaisse. Time will tell. 159 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:07,840 There's no rush. It's not easy cooking for five night after night. 160 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:12,200 Have a break. Let's order a takeaway tonight. Please! 161 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,760 Fine. You pay for it. 162 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,320 What's this? 163 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:24,360 "D..." Someone rang for you, but by the time I found a pencil, I couldn't remember her name. 164 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:29,640 What did she say? I don't know. She cried a lot. Oh, Doreen! 165 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:36,760 While she became one with the universe, her husband became one with an accounts manager from Croydon! 166 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:44,480 That's terrible! Croydon ain't that bad. Why are older men always after younger women? I don't know. 167 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:52,360 Maybe it's cos they're younger. How would you feel if older women only wanted younger men? Great! I win! 168 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:57,400 As the result of a phone call which in some odd way I precipitated, 169 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:04,680 her husband locked her out of her studio and I volunteered to let the class come here this weekend. 170 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:10,720 singin' in the rain, what a glorious feeling... 171 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:16,880 and ready for love, I could jump 172 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:20,720 Anyone ever tell you you're a handsome devil? 173 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:25,320 Bills, I laugh in your face! Dad's home. He's singing! 174 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:34,960 I'm sacred. 175 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:42,360 Are you OK? Wonderful. I didn't think I could be better until 176 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:47,400 These are for you, darling. The doctor was wrong. You're dying! 177 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:52,000 Can I have your golf clubs? You don't play. Resale value. 178 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,040 You loveable little scamps! 179 00:16:55,040 --> 00:17:01,920 Can't a man be happy to see his family without something being wrong? 180 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:07,960 I feel like a brand-new man 181 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:26,960 enjoy every minute 182 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,480 Do you do requests? Hmm. 183 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:35,960 Yes, Dad, it's about joy. Can I have the tickets? No. 184 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:40,760 But you said we've got to be happy. And I'm happy saying no! 185 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,280 Yes, this looks lovely! 186 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,920 Sure does, Dad. Humour him. 187 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:57,240 I'm not... You were singing. This is the new Ben, open to new experiences. 188 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:02,080 What's this? It's bleach-free, low-salt rice. You like rice. 189 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:08,000 With chicken tikka masala. Got any bleach-free chicken tikka masala? 190 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:14,600 I thought you were thinking positive. Compared to what I am thinking, that is positive! Janey! 191 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:19,640 Come out of those earphones! Join the family. You've another family? 192 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:26,480 What's a-happenin', dude? I'm trying to win tickets for the Marilyn Manson concert. She's great. 193 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:30,720 It's a he. It's not the singer. What's his big hit? 194 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:35,280 Scabs, Guns And Peanut Butter. It's not the song either! 195 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:41,760 Don't even try. I'll not feel like an old fart because I don't like their music! 196 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:47,280 You should feel like an old fart cos you've hair in your ears. Shut up! 197 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:54,560 I know you like sucking the joy out of everything, but you won't bring me down. Michael... 198 00:18:54,560 --> 00:19:00,360 This weekend, do you want to watch the Grand Prix, hang out with Dad? 199 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:05,880 Or we could go camping. Or we could watch a camping show on the telly. 200 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:10,440 Good idea. My yoga group is meeting here this weekend. What? 201 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:17,600 Marvellous. We'll watch it on the small TV in the bedroom. Or take the big telly to my room. 202 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,200 Have the yoga class in Nick's room! 203 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:26,480 Sweaty babes in skimpy tights? I'm in. I'm the youngest sweaty babe. I'm out! 204 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:30,520 It would do you some good to join the yoga class. 205 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:34,680 Stop trying to change me. I'm trying to help you. 206 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:41,720 By saying I'm old, decrepit and I've got hairy ears? That was me. It's not gonna work. 207 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:46,760 I'm trying to be happy. I won't give in to this because life is short. 208 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:52,320 I'm going to go out and enjoy it no matter how bloody miserable it is! 209 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,880 Well, children, Daddy's back. 210 00:19:56,240 --> 00:20:02,160 How many grams of salt are in this whisky? I don't know. Why? 211 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:09,200 My wife has put me on a low-salt, low-taste, low-joy diet because apparently I'm stressed. 212 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,280 How long have you known me, Ted? 213 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:18,440 About an hour. Do I look stressed to you? 214 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:25,120 A bit mercurial perhaps. I don't feel stressed. I feel drunk, but not stressed. 215 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:31,280 Do you know what I want? World peace? I want a cigarette. Excuse me. 216 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:36,840 Do you mind if I have one of your cigarettes? Go home. To that harpy 217 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:43,920 in her nest of vipers? No, thank you! I'm much safer here with my mate Ted. 218 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,840 TV ON 219 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,360 MANIC LAUGHTER 220 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,800 Oh, my God! 221 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:22,000 Heart attack! 222 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:26,320 Don't worry, Dad. I'm here for you. Clear! 223 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,880 Mouth to mouth! 224 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:36,520 I'm not dying, you idiot! I'm drunk! 225 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,440 Hello, darling. 226 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,240 Now I'm dead! 227 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:54,960 Where's the aspirin? Sleep well? I feel terrible. I had nightmares of Nick trying to kiss me. 228 00:21:54,960 --> 00:22:01,320 I had nightmares of sleeping next to a belching, snorting soak. Did the kids see? 229 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,160 Yes. Michael made a video. Oh, God! 230 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:11,280 I feel terrible. I know I should be whipped, but please, first, where is the aspirin? 231 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:19,720 Some performance! I might be scarred for life, but I can be bought. Live with the scars. I have aspirin. 232 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,080 Janey... 233 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:26,120 Janey, Janey, Janey... How many have you got? 234 00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:29,160 OK, aspirin for concert tickets. 235 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:31,920 Fine, fine. Sign here. 236 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:37,400 Thank you. No, no, where are they? Come on. Give, give, give, give! 237 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,120 There you go. 238 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:47,760 So... What was it like kissing Nick? 239 00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:58,840 Don't touch my mini quiches! 240 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,880 That's what the smell is. They're for my yoga group. 241 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:06,920 You can have all the carrot sticks you want. Oh, joy! 242 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:14,440 When I was lying on the floor with Nick's face passing before my eyes, I thought, "I've got to change. 243 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:19,760 "No more drink, no more junk food and why not try yoga for a change?" 244 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:25,240 All I ask is that you try. I'll try. And put the toilet seat down. 245 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:32,920 Hi, girls. Come in, Doreen. Thanks so much. My life-saver! 246 00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:42,760 Hi. 247 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,880 Hello. 248 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:48,880 Thanks for last night. 249 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,560 It was nothing. 250 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,520 No, I really mean it. 251 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:58,560 So... 252 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,080 Are you free tonight? 253 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,120 Ben, this is Doreen. 254 00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:15,440 Doreen, my husband Ben. Hi. You look like my ex-husband. Same cruel mouth. 255 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:20,800 The fun starts here! Be nice. She's in the middle of a nasty divorce. 256 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:26,960 If it's all right, Ben will be joining us today. Splendid. Let's begin. 257 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:32,400 I can't believe he's gonna do it. You go, Dad! 258 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:38,200 I'll give him five minutes. Two minutes max! Lend us a fiver, Mike. 259 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,480 So now coming into tree pose, 260 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:47,120 we stand firm as our branches reach for the sun 261 00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:50,000 and hold the pose. 262 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,640 Very nice, Lesley. 263 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,600 Excellent, Irene. 264 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,160 Call that a tree? 265 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:04,200 What? Come on, raise those branches. Stiffen your trunk. 266 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:09,240 That's what got me into this mess in the first place. No talking! 267 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,000 Ease down into the hissing cobra. 268 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:16,640 Hissing cobra - her favourite position! Ssh! 269 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,200 Oh, God! 270 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:24,680 Good. Excellent. Lovely postures. Excellent, Susan. Well done. 271 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,240 Oh, teacher's pet! 272 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:31,520 This isn't a competition...loser! 273 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:37,520 Uh-oh! Down dog! Up yours! 274 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:40,560 Ben, "down dog" is a yoga position. 275 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:43,240 Oh, sorry. 276 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,240 Oh, baby, I know what I like! 277 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:52,960 Ben! Couldn't they come up with less embarrassing poses? Like drunk man with head down toilet? 278 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:58,680 You couldn't keep away! Are you trying to be a dog? 279 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:02,760 Are you trying to be a tree? You look tense. 280 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,320 I wonder why. 281 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:09,120 Let's see if we can break through 282 00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:13,600 all that locked-up stress. Your stress or mine? Yours. 283 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:18,640 Did your husband walk out on you or was he running? Hobbling! 284 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,760 You see, typical male, 285 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:26,160 totally...inflexible! 286 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:31,440 I said I'd try it, but I quit! Another man not willing to commit. 287 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:35,840 To what? Being miserable? Ben, blood pressure! 288 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:43,400 You can turn yourselves into knots and eat as many carrot sticks as you want, but death is still out there! 289 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:48,440 We also have quiche. Don't apologise for me. I've had enough. 290 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:55,720 I've tried eating healthily. I've tried being happy. I've even tried being a dog up a tree! 291 00:26:55,720 --> 00:27:02,560 I've learnt nothing. There's a crock at the end of the rainbow, but it's not full of gold. 292 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:07,600 Excuse my husband. He's just about to go through a very nasty divorce. 293 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:20,560 Ben... I thought you weren't talking to me. 294 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:27,600 Don't be silly. That chair can't be comfortable. It's fine. This chair is perfectly fine. 295 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:32,880 Come home. No. Have they all gone yet? All except Doreen. 296 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:37,440 She got into the cooking sherry and passed out on the couch. 297 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:42,480 Where's Nick gonna sleep? I do feel sorry for her, though. 298 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:48,520 You wouldn't leave me for a younger woman? Why? Do you know someone? 299 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,040 Budge up. 300 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:56,760 Really? Mm-hm. 301 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:04,800 Doctor, do you treat all your patients this way? 302 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,440 Only the ones I like. 303 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:11,760 Now, Mrs Harper, this isn't going to hurt a bit. 27613

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