Original subtitles

I really appreciate this, mister.

Where are you headed?

Nowhere in particular.

Just hitching across country, huh?

I did that myself once back in the 50s.

Damn near got my ass shot off.

Angry farmer?

Yep.

Caught me with his daughter up in the hayloft.

That ever happen to you?

Oh, yeah, lots of times.

Maybe before yesterday, last Friday.

Tomorrow, for all I know.

Kind of goes with the job.

been to California?

I just got back from a little trip to Hollywood.

No, I never have.

Kind of hope to make it there this trip, though.

Why? Yeah, wild place. You know it.

So I hear.

But, uh, they're both the same age.

Well, they went to junior high school together and they dropped out together.

Betsy Lewis was my fourth wife.

What happened to the other three?

Well, let's see.

First one died.

Well, that's bad.

Yeah, she couldn't handle life on the hog farm.

She got depressed, threw herself to the hogs, and they ate her.

That's horrible.

Yeah.

Everything turns out for the best.

We did get the blue ribbon for that year's county fair, though.

Seems those hogs thrive on you -know -what.

Thank you for turning in.

Ah, well, it doesn't matter.

What about the second wife?

Prison.

Friday, they divorced me for a brand -new pizza.

I'm supposed to get out sometime around the third of the century.

If she's good, but she ain't.

And a third?

Well, she ran off with a hitchhiker.

Oh, hey, I'm not going to... Oh, hell, I don't care.

You want her, you nab her.

Honey, warm her, that's it.

Like I know you're just craving to have another look back at you.

Hey, Mom.

Look, man.

Looks pretty good.

Want to play?

Hollywood, huh?

copy her to go to Hollywood and be starlets and get this fourth time. It's

to be a damn nuisance.

I can imagine.

Well, I don't really care, except there's a lot of chores to be done on

farm.

Somebody's got to take care of it.

Dirty old pig.

I told you once, I've told you a hundred times.

If you girls want to go back to Hollywood and be starlets, you can do it

own time, but you've got to slap them hogs first and get home by supper time.

My son's born.

He prefers pork with pork.

A girl needs a little excitement.

Go ahead, knock yourself out.

Cute Andy.

He's got blood on his back.

You'll be lucky you can still walk when I get done with you.

Thank you.

I've got to take a piss.

You're going to come back, aren't you?

No, I don't think so.

Drive on. This is insane.

Monica, for crying out loud.

You better get in the back seat. My wife doesn't appreciate strangers.

Hi. Come on in.

Thanks a lot.

Where are you going?

As far as you feel like taking, I'm just grateful to get off my feet for a

while.

How long you been in the road?

About three years.

Oh, by the way, my name's Mark.

My name's Al.

This is my wife, Monica.

There's just a candy bag there.

Where are you going, Mark?

No place in particular.

Oh, maybe I'll go to Hollywood or something.

Albert, this is ridiculous.

Stop the car and put him out.

No, let him stay.

Well...

Well, look, if I'm in the way... Mark, new job for the summer?

Albert!

Look at Monica. It was your idea to hire someone for the summer in the first

place.

Mark, I've got a stud farm just down the road, and I could use someone to help

me out for the summer.

Interested?

Um, I don't know.

What about $1 ,000 for the summer?

Room, board, anything else you need?

I know he's not going to murder us all in our sleep.

Well, those people usually travel in pairs, and they usually have their own

cars. I think I'm relatively safe.

Well, let's get a few things straight here.

We are people of money and position.

We demand the best of everything, and we won't tolerate sloppiness or impudence.

Have you ever worked on a stud farm?

Do you know anything about horses?

I know horseshit when I see it.

Oh, Albert.

Monica, will you shut up?

Um... Hey, look, Al, if I'm in the way... Well, that's about it. Look, when

we're in the house, you're the boss.

When we're in the farm, I rule.

Okay?

car is that?

It belongs to Bianca, my cousin. Wow.

Good meter.

Yeah, that is nice, isn't it?

I said mine are nicer.

Besides, they're real.

Oh, I was... It's not what you think.

She knows you're there. She does this all the time.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

What do you mean they're not real?

She had them pumped up when she was marbling.

If you look real close, right along here, she's got scars.

You don't see any scars on mine now, do you?

Uh -uh.

They're perfect.

Do you have any scars?

Might be of interest to me.

So, are you two going to eat or have lunch with us, bitch?

Oh, so you want to play tag, huh?

So come and get it.

ever since.

Well, you're welcome to settle here for a while if you'd like to.

It's like you've found yourself a friend already there.

Just put in work wherever you feel you're needed.

I think you'll find plenty here to do to keep you busy.

Most of us will be relaxing for a while until the Shah gets here.

The Shah?

You mean the racehorse?

Mm -hmm.

I thought he was owned by some syndicate or something.

That's us.

We all own a quarter of them. How would you like to own a quarter of a great

horse?

I think I'd rather own all of a great quarter horse.

Well, we have a few of those around here, too.

Excuse me.

But the shot is definitely the star of this farm.

Star horse, that is.

When does he get here?

Well, actually, he should be here later this morning. This afternoon, two men

from down at the track are going to bring him up.

Men? Is that what you call them these days?

One's a big, stupid farm boy. Guess what his name is.

I don't know.

Probably something like Junior.

You're smart. That's exactly what it is.

The other one's some washed -up jockey who gives the shots workouts.

What is that asswipe's name anyway?

Butch.

Butch. Yeah.

Butch. Butch and Junior.

Well, now that lunch is over, we can attend to some more important matters.

Mr. Mark, take care of this.

Sure.

Glad to have you aboard.

Thanks. See you later.

Hey,

let me know when the shawl gets here.

Yeah, I'm ready.

Lost, little boy?

Well, as long as you're going to stand there gawking, make yourself useful.

She lied.

There are no scars.

Now get back to work.

I said that's enough.

I'll call you if I need anything else.

Yeah, sure.

Dirk? Look, Al.

I don't like what I see. What are they doing?

Your cousin's setting her ass.

Mark watering the lawn. Why?

That man has been all over your sister, and now he's annoying my cousin.

What are you going to do?

I've been trying to do something all afternoon.

Joey's got a headache.

I'm going for a swim.

Do you work here?

Yeah, I guess I do. Why? Well, where's your boss?

He's right over there.

Charlie!

Hello, Charlie.

What's up?

Well, nice place.

Where's the horse?

Oh, the show's not here yet.

What do you want to know?

Well, I'm upping my offer to four million.

I've got a certified check here and a bill of sale.

Oh, that can't do, Charlie.

Besides, I only speak for 25%. Oh, you know that's a tax dodge.

Those broads will do what you say.

Oh, no, they won't.

Oh,

well, hello, Bianca.

How about dinner?

Oh, I think I have problems keeping it down. What are you doing here, Charlie?

Bianca, sell me your share of the shark.

Get off my land.

I'll make it five million cash.

Nah, Charlie, I don't need your money, Charlie.

Al, that horse is getting old.

If I had him, I'd gild him so he'd run faster.

That wouldn't leave a working set of balls between the two of you, Charlie.

Well, you know, Al, I'm not used to giving up things that I want.

You know something, Charlie?

You and I.

what? I'll call you in September.

Love lunch, Charlie.

Lunch, lunch.

Now let's have dinner.

Boy, I guess I really told her off, huh?

Yeah, I don't know either of that, bro. Kicking us out of the diner just because

we didn't buy nothing.

Yeah. Do you think her boots was real? Look, I told you, no dirty talk, all

right? You gotta be more sophisticated. You gotta say something like, uh...

Hey, baby, how about going out with me tonight?

I guarantee you a good time.

Yeah, and I won't make you swallow anything, right? No, no, no.

No dirty language. Come on.

She was so pretty, and she smelled even nicer than a new Buick.

Forget the Buick. Look, if Charlie don't get here soon, I'm leaving.

Hey, if he doesn't come, do we have to give the money back?

I don't know. He gave us $100 to wait for him, didn't he? Yeet.

Hey, wait a sec. I think I see him over there.

We was waiting for you.

All right. What's doing, boss?

Here's what I want you to do. I want you to help me steal a horse. Do! I need to

hang you for that.

Not if you do exactly as I say.

She played nice.

How would you know?

I know what I like.

You also know the rules.

If you want to watch, you have to earn the right.

I have to do to do that.

Are you a good fuck?

Bianca, just what do you take me as anyway?

I take you as livestock.

Livestock?

Miss, where do you come off calling me livestock?

Well, this is a stead farm.

Isn't there usually a fee involved?

Earn it, Dad.

Can I help you? Oh, excuse me.

What can I do for you?

Yeah, I'm Detective Brown. Is either one of you the owner here?

I'm one of the owners. Why?

A horse trailer registered at this address has been abandoned up the road.

Does it belong to either one of you?

What about the horse?

If there was a horse in that trailer, it's gone now.

Stolen? We're still investigating, but you can pick up the trailer anytime.

In fact, we found this note. Does this pertain to you?

It says...

Al, no more horsing around.

I'll be in touch.

No signature.

Who's Al?

Al's my brother. I'll make sure that he gets this. Thank you.

Thanks a lot.

Okay, thank you.

Boy, rich people, they ever take the cake when it comes to this shit.

I wonder what Charlie's planning to do.

Can't sell the horse.

Can't race him.

Charlie wouldn't kill the Shah, would he?

I wouldn't put it past him.

Well, he'd insure it, isn't he?

Yeah, to the hill. Four million dollars worth.

So, four million is four million.

Wait a minute here. We're talking about a living, breathing being here, not just

a piece of property.

Besides which, he'll collect more than twice that this summer in stud fees.

Hey, Mark, why don't you and I take a drive?

See what we can find out? Get the trailer?

Yeah, sure.

Oh, no. I'll take him out there. Charlie might call.

All right.

You go. But as long as you go and get something done, see what you can find

okay? Okay.

We'll get something done.

I'll bet.

You know what they're going to do?

Disgusting. Why don't you do something?

Come on, Monica. We're all three healthy adults here.

You and I are the only ones not having any fun.

The anchor isn't taken in by that drifter.

I'm a regular rack, huh?

Look it, what the hell do I have to do to loosen you up a little bit? Come on.

I'm not in the mood. And I won't be until the shore is where he belongs and

bum is off our land.

Oh, Jesus Christ, Monica.

Look at this. They were so stupid they didn't even move the trailer.

Come on, let's go find Shaw. Yeah.

Hey, come on.

Shaw, come on, Shaw. Hey.

Got to treat you.

Yeah.

Now, let's, uh... Let's get the trailer and take it away so they can't take him.

Then we'll get Al to call the police.

No, Alex, no.

Only with you, baby.

Come on, let's go. Boy, baby, we'll be back. Yeah, don't worry about it.

Oh, really, Bianca?

Must you bounce your tits around all afternoon?

Oh, come on, Monica. You should try it. It's very relaxing.

Not to the help.

Maybe you can handle him. But what if he attacks me?

Look it. Then he's on his own.

Now take off your clothes and join me.

Never. Oh, you made me forget why I came out here. You have a phone call.

Take a message.

It's Charlie.

Oh.

What is it, Charlie?

You look nice today, Bianca.

Your tan made you look exotic, even from a distance.

Yeah, well, you can get a closer look when you kiss my ass.

So, did you call for a reason, or are you too wimpy to make obscene calls to

strangers?

I'm going to give you a chance now to get your horse back.

Why don't you get all dolled up and meet me at the diner? We'll have a little

dinner and spend a quiet evening together, and I'll meet you there, say,

hour.

Bye.

Now the fun begins.

Come on.

Come on, get in. That's it.

going to do?

Anything I want, my little eyes, princess.

Junior, you let her give away, and I'm going to give your share of the money to

Butch. That's not fair.

I just want to see the horse. Is he all right?

He's okay. I gave him half of my Twinkie. He liked it a lot. Oh, good.

Oh,

hey, everybody.

What the fuck you got here? The place you got here.

Now just sit down and relax.

Move back. Take it easy, and nobody will get hurt, okay?

We got some important business to discuss here. Why don't you sit down,

And the rest of you, pay attention, because I'm not going to repeat myself

twice. We got Bianca, and we got the horse.

If you want the dame back, sign over the horse.

What happens if we don't?

Okay, but then you got a dead stud horse.

No, Charlie likes it better when they squirm around a little bit.

So she's probably safe.

But then again, who knows?

Anything could happen, right?

Well, thanks for having us in tonight, folks. Charlie will be in touch.

Don't try anything dumb now, will you?

Knock it off, you creep.

Junior, remember what the boss said. We're just supposed to keep an eye on

Now, leave her alone.

I just wanted to ring her doorbell. I wasn't going to bite him or nothing. I

told you before, I don't like dirty language, especially in front of a dame.

Oh, you ain't so good, Butch. You know what he told me once late?

Junior, I told you never talk about that.

He told me he once saw his own mother naked.

Now, you watch her good.

And if she escapes, I'll tell Charlie you let her get away.

What are you going to do?

I got to calm down.

Get some sleep so I can think straight.

Think straight for the boss.

The idea?

Yeah, take off your top.

But we promised how we wouldn't. No, no, no, no, come on.

As soon as you can, get to your car and then get home, okay?

Look!

Who?

I can't believe this.

Did you see that?

What? No.

Something pretty funny going on here.

Really?

Hey, huh?

Why did you do that?

I'm sorry, Junior.

I really meant to do this.

Oh, God.

Hey, where's Junior? Ah, you just sit there and don't make a move.

Now, what'd you do with Junior?

Perfect refinement.

Class.

Sophisticated women like you.

How's about letting me smell your underwear?

Oh, shut up.

I know. Why don't you go in there and get him to, uh... Why don't you forget

Why don't you do something?

Yeah, like what?

If we can't make him horny, let's make him mad.

We tried horny.

Let's make them now.

Go ahead.

Hey, Butch.

Shit.

Piss. Old lady's piss.

Dog milk.

Oh, God.

Okay, I'll take the car. You take the shower. You take the shower. Meet you at

the house. Yeah, right.

no idea where she is.

Have you called the insurance man?

I haven't. I still think that Mark and Candy are going to come up with

something.

I don't need to worry so much.

It's easy for you to say, but how do you suggest I do that?

Start by coming back to bed with me.

I will be working in the garden. If you hear anything, please call me.

I want you to see something really disgusting.

All right, Mr. Mark, whoever you are, I want you off my land.

Everything was fine around here until you showed up. Now just get out.

Jesus.

What's going on here?

Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine.

I got your horse for you.

There's Candy.

There's Bianca. Here I am.

What's the problem?

It's Monica.

Excuse me.

What'd I do?

Nothing.

Why do you keep refusing me?

Simple thing. Keep the horse in the broad here and you blow it. Of all the

stupid, moronic, idiotic things I ever heard... Dumb?

Dumb? You don't qualify to be dumb, you corn -fed pile of cow shit.

And you, Butch, where was your head when they stole their horse from us?

Oh, well, it wasn't my fault.

They outnumbered us.

No, they didn't. There was only... How would you know? You were unconscious.

No, I wasn't. I was knocked out. Oh, well, what are you talking about?

They surrounded us. They had guns and bombs and karate.

Who did?

Big Al's gang.

There must have been a thousand of them.

Al's gang?

What gang?

Big, mean, tough professionals.

I think they were mercenaries. They had skulls tattooed on their heads and bones

in their noses. Right, Junior?

Is that right?

They dropped out of the sky. Jet helicopters landed on the roof. And then

started pumping in the nerve gas. The nerve gas. How do you know?

We got real nervous.

Then they ran in firing machine guns.

Oh, look at all the bullet holes.

Oh, them termite holes. Oh, they shot the termites, too. Right, Junior?

Yeah. Well, what'd they look like?

Well, they was purple with pink spots. Oh, that's your comic book, you dork.

They were seven -foot, hairy -chested dykes with fangs. They overpowered us

took the horse.

You see, Bianca was their leader, and they had to rescue her or kill

It was awesome.

Right, Junior?

I don't remember.

Was that before or after the girl with the pretty ass wiggled for us? Shut up.

What are you talking about?

Nothing. He's delirious.

Go on, Junior. What really happened?

Well, well, we was watching the horse and the girl, like you said, and

then this real pretty girl all naked comes and wiggles her lady parts at us.

she was real pretty, too, and she wiggles her ass at me.

Well, she was sleeping, and I walked out to play with her, and then I got

knocked out.

Is that what happened to you, Butch? I'll get you for this, Junior.

You mean to tell me that you let go of a $4 million horse because some broad

shook her ass at you?

Normally I wouldn't, but she did have a particularly nice ass.

I ought to have you two put to sleep. I just can't believe this.

It happened all right because we was there.

I'm not going to give up. I'm going to get that horse back.

How? Walk in and take it?

Exactly. Now, pay attention, because we're going to get that horse back

and I mean business.

Yeah, it takes at least eight people to do that right.

Well, you come on. That's how you got in trouble the first time. Come on.

Look, it's a shark. It's a shark.

Yeah, it is. Open that up. Come on, get it open. Get that hammer out. Break

the lock.

Break the lock.

Hurry up, hurry up.

That's it, that's it.

Harder, harder.

Hit it harder.

What was that?

What was that noise?

It must be the shot.

Oh, my God, the shot.

Hey, you got any guns?

Yeah.

Oh, party, look what we have here. A couple of horse thieves. Yep.

They're going to hang us.

No, hanging would be too good for the likes of you.

Now, Al, now, now, fun's fun, but you win. Now, just let us go, and

we'll let bygones be bygones. Oh, Charlie, I should shoot you right here,

would scare the horse.

Nah, shooting him now wouldn't be right.

Start with the stooges.

All right, butch.

All right, now you're going to get it. One, two, three.

Don't even think about it.

Your turn, Tuckaloos. Oh, where's Butch?

Nothing left, all gone.

It's your turn, horse thief.

Start running.

Wait a minute, Al.

Charlie, I just wanted to tell you that I haven't forgotten all the good times

that we've had over the years.

Oh, well, we really did have a good time together, Bianca. I know, and now I'm

going to give you an advantage.

Who knows? It just may save your life.

Oh, well, gee, thanks.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to gouge you so you can run back.

Listen, I'm taking off.

Thanks for everything.

This is one summer I'm not going to forget.

Oh, listen, you really got to go?

You're welcome to stay around here as long as you'd like. You can help me take

care of the place.

No, thanks. I like the road.

Well, look at... Can't thank you enough for getting the shop back for me.

Oh, you're welcome. Take care of it.

And I want you to know, anytime you'd like to come back this way, I'll have

something for you to do.

Take it easy.

Okay.

Stay late and a dollar short.

Mark went on down the road.

Oh, shit. We wanted to give him one for the road. Come on.