All language subtitles for tpkd

Talk about a gal with a sun -kissed
smile.

She's the cutest thing by a country
mile.

The pig -keeper's daughter, the pig
-keeper's daughter, the pig -keeper's

daughter, the pig -keeper's daughter.
Talk about a gal with a down -home

We're talking about the pig -keeper's
daughter.

When the sweet gal shakes her low -down
thing, she'd make a one -legged man

dance a buck and wing.

The pig keeper's daughter, the pig
keeper's daughter. Pig keeper's

keeper's daughter.

Talk about a gal with a down -home
charm.

We're talking about the pig keeper's
daughter.

She's a queen, she's peachy queen.

And she's the original love machine.

The pig keeper's daughter, the pig
keeper's daughter.

The pig keeper's daughter, the pig
keeper's daughter.

Talk about a gal with a down -home
charm.

We're talking about the big keeper's
daughter.

Talk about a gal with a wide -open fist.

She's got the kind of lovin' you don't
want to miss.

Big keeper's daughter.

Big keeper's daughter.

Big keeper's daughter. Big keeper's
daughter.

Talk about a gal with a down -home
curse.

We're talking about the big keeper's
daughter.

She's a wild and wooly gal with a spot
on her face.

When she makes love, she shakes all over
the place.

The pig keeper's daughter, pig keeper's
daughter. The pig keeper's daughter, pig

keeper's daughter. Talk about a gal with
a down -home charm.

We're talking about the pig keeper's
daughter.

Lord Hamilton, you are the hamphemest
fella in the world.

Seems to me you could run for president
or something, seeing as how bright you

are.

If and you was a little taller, we could
go to dances and picture shows and all

such. How would you like that, Lord
Hamilton?

When you come right down to it, there's
a whole lot more people that likes pigs

than them that don't.

I heard Jasper saying the other day that
the girl he was out with was a pig. It

just makes sense.

He wouldn't call a girl a pig and still
go out with her if he didn't like her.

You're a pig just like the pigs you
raise.

Don't you say nothing about my pigs.
They ain't here to defend themselves.

Your daughter's going to end up the same
as you.

All you ever care about is your pigs.

Pigs. Make a lot better friends than
some people I know.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, nothing.

Only a pig wouldn't do nothing to hurt a
person on purpose.

Well, you better forget about them pigs
and start thinking about how you're

going to marry your daughter off.
Because ain't no guy around who's going

up with her and those pigs.

Now, Molly, when it's right, it'll be
right.

The guy what's right for my little gal
will just walk right up and then say,

Howdy, I'm here to ask for Moonbeam's
hand.

Well, it'll have to be soon, or he'll
have to be good at pushing a wheelchair,

because she's already 19.

Oh, hi.

Where's Patty? She don't want to see you
no how.

How would you know, Wingate?

I know.

Hey, now, Wingate, don't get yourself so
heated up, boy.

You're just going to buy yourself a peck
of trouble.

Someday you'll get yours, Jaffer.

He loves me. He loves me not.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

He loves me. He loves me not.

Jasper, you better leave me be.

Why? Who are you saving it for?

Sure, sonny. I'd be your fellow.

You just let me test how cold the water
was before I jumped in.

Ain't no testing going on with me,
Jasper.

Oh, come on, Patty.

Come on.

Please don't. I can't.

Sure can't, honey. It's all right. I'll
be careful.

Why'd you do that?

I had to. Do you know we almost did?

Do I know we almost did?

Do I know we almost did?

You're damn right I know we almost did.
What do you think I am, a ten -year -old

idiot?

Shit. Well, we can't do that. I'm a
virgin.

What the hell do you think that thing
was made for?

To put in one of your mall's cannon jars
and to pickle it so you can keep it

forever?

No, of course not.

But it just ain't right to give it to
anybody what happens to pass by.

I'll tell you what, pretty Patty.

You can keep that damn thing till it
rots off.

But I'm going over the hill to
Moonbeams.

Because she knows what it's for and how
to use it to boot.

What'd you find down there to eat, Lord
Hamilton?

I swear, you're worse than some of the
fellas I know.

Always getting your nose into
everything.

Lord Hamilton, did I ever tell you a
story about the fairy princess who was

walking along?

Well, she found a little pig just like
you.

As she picked him up, he kissed him, and
he turned into a handsome young prince.

You plum crazy or something talking to
that pig?

What's wrong with talking to a pig? He's
about the only truly friend I have.

I want to tell you, Moonbeam, that
little pig can't give you what I got for

no matter how much he tries.

Now, you know what I mean, Moonbeam?

I sure do.

Can I look at it and watch it get hard,
Jasper?

It's a little late for that. It's done
plum hard when I got here.

Shucks. That's the most fun of all,
watching it growl.

I'll tell you what we'll do, Moonbeam.

We'll do it once, then we'll finish, and
I'll let you watch it get hard.

And then we'll do it again.

Are you going to play with me all over,
Jasper?

Sure, sure, honey.

Anything you want.

Okay, it's a deal.

Take a little moonbeam with me.

and sing.

I was plumb thinking about to clear over
that hill.

Well... That's a nice to sit I've ever
done late eyes on moonbeams Do

you like to kiss them Jasper sure

sure thing honey I Really am glad you

came over Jasper.

I really do like to do this

Let's take your clothes off too, Jasper.
So I can see you standing on your own.

Nice.

Thank you.

Ugh.

Here in the backwoods, the people ain't
too bright, but along comes a salesman

and sets things right.

He sells his perfume in pretty panties
blue to the local yokels and their

daughters too.

When the stars are right and the old
man's not at home, he takes his thing

does it all right. The life of a
salesman's a happy delight when he gets

nookie on a cold winter's night.

I'm not too particular about the women I
choose.

If they're too bad, I'll hide it with
booze.

Well, looky here.

stranger hi you're just out for a stroll
are you in trouble man you won't

believe my troubles can't you get loose
no how'd you get there in the first

place i started out this morning early
and had gone 10 miles before i had a

tire and after i fixed i had gone out of
10 miles before i run out of gas i

hiked clear into the tonic i guess and
hiked back Got going again, and then I

picked up a hitchhiker.

I felt sorry for him.

I did.

Anyway, when I get out in the country a
bit, he pulled out this gun that tells

me to pull up hard.

Made me take off all my clothes and tie
me up here, just like you see me.

Boy, I'd say you had your share of
troubles, mister.

You can say that again.

Well, I guess this is your unlucky day.

How far are you going?

Oh, down the road.

Uh, you looking for a girl?

Why, sure.

Well, where do you want to go?

Anywhere you want.

Hmm.

Excuse me, I want to get a little more
comfortable.

Let's see.

Sure is hot today.

Yeah. How bad you looking for a girl?
Well, a guy can always use a pretty girl

like you.

Got any bread, man?

I don't understand.

You know cash.

Yeah, a little. But I don't ever pay for
it.

You don't mind if I take off my T
-shirt, do you? Not at all.

Drop me off about here.

Now, wait a minute.

I might be able to work out a deal
somehow.

Twenty -five bucks.

Twenty -five bucks?

I only got ten. I was figuring on a
motel room.

Well, fine. Drop me off at the next
little town.

Take it easy.

You're still pointing down.

No! No!

No!

Oh.

Ahhhh!

Well, that'll be 50 bucks.

50 bucks?

Our doctor said 25.

Well, I'm only 15. You wouldn't want to
have it known that you raped a 15 -year

-old child.

I don't see why you don't sell them pigs
and raise chickens.

Or something that doesn't smell.

Now, you be careful what you say about
my pigs. Well, they're sensitive, and

they might hear you.

I'll tell you one thing for sure. If you
don't do something about Moonbeam soon,

I'm gonna leave you.

Well, if that's true, and you gotta go,
well, you take the old Dodge, because I

need the truck for them pigs.

Now, don't go get all bent out of shape.

Any day now, someone's going to come
along.

Well, that just might be him now.

Well, now looky here.

We've been waiting for you.

Come on in.

Mr. Swiner, and this is the missus, what
can we do for you?

I work for Ladies Beautiful Corporation.

That is, I, or we, travel from town to
town, leaving behind beautiful women.

That is, women that are strong enough to
face the world as an altogether

different and more beautiful woman.

But I don't know about Mrs. Swiner.

A woman with that much beauty is pretty
difficult to come by.

And very difficult to improve.

Well, I'm going out and pick up after
the pigs.

You spread it around in here.

My, don't that smell scrumptious.

You ain't seen nothing yet.

You just sit yourself right down there.

Now, I got a little item here that when
you spray it on the most beautiful part

of your body, it makes it smell like
lemon lime.

Who'd ever want that on their face?

It's not for your face, ma 'am. It's for
the other beautiful part of your body.

Why, I declare... Moon rain!

I'll be back in a couple of days, Mindy.

Watch it hard again.

Molly.

I may call you Molly.

Sure you can.

Doesn't that feel good?

I'd let you massage a little higher if
you gave me a bottle of that stuff.

Sure, Molly.

I could massage your shoulder, too, if
you could remove your blouse.

That'd be nice.

But it'd be nicer if you gave me a
bottle of that stuff for removing my

Why, sure.

It's okay.

I'll do it.

Now you said my shoulders.

After all, it's only one bottle.

Would you like another one?

Sure I would.

Would you consider removing your bra?

Why, sure, if I could have a couple of
those.

Maybe a person shouldn't take something
for doing something like this.

Somehow it just don't seem right.

That's okay.

I was planning on giving you some
presents anyway.

Then would you throw a pair of those
stockings in?

Why, sure, Miss Molly.

Wow.

Wow.

You know, I have some lotion that would
be considerably good for your legs.

Would you like to try some?

Depends. On what?

If an eye put it on, fine.

If you put it on, then I think we ought
to give me a few samples.

Yeah. Well, that's fine.

Well, that's just fine.

Here, let me do that.

Wait a minute.

But you haven't done the other leg yet.

There, that's done.

Can we take off your skirt?

I might consider it if you give me a
month's supply of that sweet smelling

salt.

You got the best looking thighs I've
ever seen in my whole life.

We might make a deal for my panties if
you give me the rest of the stuff on the

table. It's all yours.

All of it.

Every single one. All of them.

Oh, baby.

That's the best looking pussy I've ever
seen.

Oh, I could eat you out for breakfast,
lunch, and dinner.

Now wait a minute. You have to take off
your clothing.

Fuck you, baby.

Oh, come on. Baby.

Baby, come on. I want you, baby.

I didn't think you'd do it for me.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Just like I knew.

Yeah.

Oh, thank you.

Oh come on.

Thank you.

Hi, Wingate. Where's Patty?

What's the matter, little boy?

Cat got your tongue or something?

I seen you putting your dirty hands all
over my sister this morning.

If you weren't such a worthless bum, I'd
hit you.

Go ahead.

Anyway, boy, I sure don't need the
exercise.

Now Wingate boy, I do believe you've
just overloaded your ass.

You didn't have to go through that
beating, did you, boy?

Just to tell me that.

What am I going to do now that I gave
you my whole stock?

Don't you worry none.

Wasn't it worth it?

I thought so then, but now I don't know.

Well, don't worry. I've got a plan for
you.

I might give you back some of the stuff
if you do me a little favor.

Anything. Anything at all. Now, you come
over here and sit down and we'll talk

about it.

My daughter, Moonee, has never seen any
of this pretty stuff you sell.

And I figure if she'd gotten to keeping
herself pretty, then it'd be easier for

her to catch a man.

Now.

looking for, Jasper?

Well, yeah, I was kind of looking for
your brother.

I thought he might want to go fishing.

Well, he might be along just any minute
now.

Why don't you come in and talk to me
while I do my chores?

Well, yeah, I kind of did want to go
fishing, but, well, I guess the same

will be there tomorrow.

Well, see, Jasper, while I go in and
freshen up a little bit, I know I must

a mess.

Well, I figured you were plowing and
that old mule kind of plumb drug you

Just about right.

But it weren't such a bad ride after
all.

Hey, what you doing in there, Patty?

Doesn't take you that long to wash your
face.

I'm coming, Jasper. I just want you to
see me pretty, that's all.

Turn me on just the way you were.

Kind of like rough -looking girls.

Wow.

Oh, boy. You sure do look like you just
walked out of one of their Hollywood

movies.

I've seen you making love to moonbeams.

Did you like it yourself?

I sure did.

In fact, I imagined it was me.

I told you I imagined. I did not say I
wanted to be me. Dad, you know I'm a

virgin. Oh, Lord, here we go again.

Well, if that's all the imagination
you've got, I guess you better leave.

What are you talking about?

Well, I talked to Mary Lou, who's a
virgin too, and she told me that Roger

carefully went around her maidenhood
without breaking it.

He did?

Oh, yeah, he did. He sure did.

In fact, I was talking to him just this
morning, and he told me how he did it.

In that case, I might let you peck me,
but you gotta be real careful.

Well, I promise I'll go around it,
honey.

Just like Roger did with Mary Lou's
maidenhood.

My, that feels terribly big.

Sure is.

Maybe if it's so big, maybe you can't go
around my thing.

Oh, no.

It's the same size as Roger's, and he
did it.

Can I put my hand inside and touch it?

You sure can.

You want me to kiss it too?

Why,

of course!

You be careful, Jasper.

It hurts too much, honey. I'll only put
it in a little way.

Thank you.

Oh.

I'm in love with you, Lord Hamilton.

There will never be anyone to take your
place.

Now, I started to tell you this here
story about the fairy princess and the

prince.

She kissed the pig.

And he turned into a handsome young
prince.

That feels good.

Young lady, I'm from Ladies Beautiful
Corporation, and I spread loveliness and

beauty throughout the nation.

Just what is it you're trying to say,
mister?

Step right over here, young lady, and
I'll introduce you to a whole new world.

world where there is only beauty.

It's plum pretty around here already.

Just climb up here right there on the
fence, and I'll show you some more

things.

Oh, boy, store -bought stockings. Ah,
but first, you must apply some lotions

your body that Nefertiti used to use in
the days of old Rome.

Who used it? It's not important.

But don't you think you ought to take a
bath first, maybe up in the house?

I guess I am a little dirty.

Couldn't I just take a bath in that
horse trough over there?

Why, sure, and I'll even put some sweet
-smelling things in the water for you.

Would you scrub my back, too? I can
never find anybody to do that for me.

Will I ever.

Are you all right? You look mighty
peaked.

I'm just fine.

Jasper likes to do that, too. I reckon
we could do that other thing after a

I'm dreaming. Don't wake me up.

Maybe I should take a bath with my
clothes on because they're just as dirty

am. That way I wouldn't have to wash
them later. Oh, no, no, no, no. You

shouldn't do that. You see, if you take
your clothes off, I can rub lotion all

over your body and make you feel a lot
better.

Okay.

Dude, that smells good.

Yeah, it'll get you good and clean all
over.

Would you like to get in and take a bath
with me? I sure would.

Take your clothes off, silly.

I now pronounce you man and wife.